“Suicide is called the cowards way out, the most selfish act. Suicide is the irrational, desperate scream for help of a mind that does not know what it is doing. A mind that is so deep, deep down in the bottom of a pit that light cannot pierce the veil of deceit over the mind’s eye.”-Ronovan
Robin Williams is dead. Preliminary reports say self asphyxiation is the cause. Whether this be accidental or intentional has not been hinted at, but the overwhelming thought is intentional due to his history of instability and depression.
A man full of so much in his mind that it had nowhere to go with them. A man who was so full of emotions he could not express them all. A man who was brilliant in so many ways that few new.
Some will now label him coward and selfish. To all of you I would like to introduce you to . . .
Me: A Robin Williams
You don’t know me, even though you have read me. The kid beaten as a child with a belt so badly that he planned, even at the age of six to get away from his biological father, his parents divorced. The police and the man and woman in suits, showing up at the school and the biological father never to be seen again, proving his plan a success, the biological father now dead.
You don’t know me. The being shot at multiple times, the moving around never being able to make friends, the teasing as the new kid with the red hair and being chubby as the years passed.
You don’t know me. Years of solitude, supposedly happy with books. The happy one who made jokes about anything and everything, did impersonations of voices, a born mimic and entertainer.
You don’t know me. The guy who intentionally ran his Mustang off the road doing 90 in a 35 on a narrow dark stretch of road only to save it at the last minute.
You don’t know me. The guy who a few years ago made his family promise to never let him go off alone if he was depressed or even slightly down again after driving to a local park with eternal thoughts.
You don’t know me. The guy who now fights each day to get his cheer on after being alone and quiet too long . . . even with so much happiness and love out there for him.
You will say “But Ronovan, you never did anything, you’re still here, you’re not a coward.”
No. I’m lucky.
Those in depression go to a place you can never imagine. “But I’ve been in depression.” There are levels of it. You may think you have hit the bottom, and maybe you did, and you found a hand waiting to help pull you out. Some don’t have the hand there for them.
When you write articles demeaning those so depressed they are no longer in control of what they are doing, that they take their own life . . . don’t. You see, no one in their right mind takes their own life. The person is no longer there. They have been replaced by something else that looks and sounds like them.
Instead of talking about them . . . talk to them, talk with them.
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