People Hate Me

Ronovan Life, , , , ,

Did you know people hate me?

Sounds impossible I know but they do. I am an odd person. I have strange ailments. Today let’s talk about Amnesia. Mine is persisting in much of the areas of my life.

First of all I don’t want people to think this is a pity article. I’m fine. When I say I am fine, I really mean it. I am merely sharing this for people to understand why things happen in my life the way they do and perhaps they have experiences with someone and this might help explain it. So really, I handle this all the time, every day, so no worries, Okay?

For those of you not aware, I fell in my home and received a concussion which caused Retrograde Amnesia, meaning memories before the accident as well as Short Term Amnesia, meaning I have problems retaining current information. Now you know why I write so much. Think of this Blog as my notes on life and even my poetry can tell me where and what I was at during a given day.

The Short Term Memory Loss is the issue here. Mine tends to be when I sleep, or am absent from something too long. My mind also apparently uses it as a defense against reminders of bad situations.

I recent times my Chronic Fatigue has been flaring up in a big way resulting in a lot of sleep, not good for the memory. I’ve forgotten people. I’ve forgotten friends.

Why do people hate me?

I forget them. That’s bad. I know it. But then there is something in my mind that says run. There is an element of fear there. Did you know a big guy like me fears something like forgetting people and their hating him? Yeah, it happens. I have a lot of issues in life to deal with, one is my son. Can you imagine being 10 and having a father who has Amnesia, Fibromyalgia, Osteoarthritis, Chronic Fatigue, Light and Sound Sensitivity and isn’t allowed to drive yet?

My son worries about me every day. He checks on me all the time. He doesn’t know that I notice but I do. I see him looking in my room to make sure I am okay. Yeah, my son has to be the kid with the weirdo dad. I try to act as normal as can be around him but there are limitations.

Then I have people that hate me.

My number of waking hours each day have dwindled. My writing here has dwindled, my writing on LitWorldInterviews has dwindled recently. I did NaNoWriMo but i felt obligated after agreeing to it and that’s where the most of the waking hours went. My mind operates differently than most I suppose.

So for those hate me . . .

Okay. once I get all those other problems under control, maybe I cam make it so people won’t hate me as much. For now, I am just trying to stay awake long enough to see my son at night and trying to get up in the mornings to see him off to school.

Much Respect

Ronovan

Ron_LWI

 

 

PS-I would have mentioned the 24/7 Migraines I have but I thought that was over kill.

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18 thoughts on “People Hate Me”

  7. Gosh you poor thing! I have noticed with online people if some get you doing stuff for them regularly they get in a real huff id you stop. There comes a time when you have to see what most people do and that is live normally and do what you can when you not not act like someone’s puppet. Time is the big deal at the moment that and attention and in your condition that must be near impossible to promise anyone. Do your own thing, the kind people will understand.

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  8. Your friends stand with you Ronovan. Family comes first. Do what you can and forgive yourself. We all have limitations of some sort. That is what makes us unique. Happy Thanksgiving friend. Enjoy your son. ❤

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  9. Thank you for sharing! I don’t hate you if you have forgotten me lol. I know what it’s like to deal with uncontrollable health issues myself having Fibromyalgia, Sjogren’s Syndrome, Hypothyroidism, and who knows what else…Everyday is going to be a daily battle it seems. Never knowing what kind of day it is or what it will bring. Along with the chronic pain I get the “brain fog” from Fibro as well. I forget the words of things and do dumb stuff all of the time. I would give some examples but I can’t remember exactly lol. Hang in there! I hope you have a great Thanksgiving Ronovan! 🙂

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  11. I know you’ve forgotten me but No hate here 😀 infact I wonder if anyone can really hate someone unless they’ve committed a crime or if there is a breach of trust…we understand what you are going through..they are the demons you battle everyday…also the Disclaimer in blue highlights you are a survivor..continue to be the winner you are. God Bless and Happy Thanksgiving

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  14. You seem to have more than your fair share of life’s challenges, but you are coping and doing it brilliantly. If people don’t like you it’s because they are ignorant and don’t understand what you are going through.
    I too have chronic migraines, Hypothyroidism and Fibromalgia, so you have my respect. My writing helps to keep me sane-ish!
    You are teaching your son to battle on in the face of your difficulties; that counts for a lot.
    Have a good Thanksgiving.

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  15. If people hate you, then there are plenty more who respect and love what your mind dreams up. We love the words you write, and even if I don’t visit everyday I make sure to catch up on what you’ve written next time I visit 🙂

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