The Importance of Being You.

Ronovan #BeWoW, Opinion Articles, , , , , , ,

We are all different. A bit of an obvious statement but in parts of the world being different isn’t accepted, expected, or tolerated in the slightest. If we were all meant to be the same it would be a very boring and no-point-in-free-will world. improtance-being-you

Each of us is meant to give something to the world as a whole. No, that doesn’t mean I am going to go and invent something that will save the universe from the attack of the space amoebas. (Do I get nerd points for spelling that right the first time?)

However, I may be the person that influences the person that does invent that something. We look at ourselves at times and since we are different from the norm we sometimes turn ourselves into the ultimate anti-norm we can, feeling that is what we are supposed to be. It is our badge of honor somehow. It pushes us away from society and love and friends and happiness. Perhaps being alone is your happiness, perhaps it’s your norm. But I don’t think complete and total alone-ness is anyone’s norm.

Yes, society is part of the problem of our lack of acceptance of who we are. You may be a lover of punk rock with Goth influences and love watching Harry Potter while eating cotton candy. And you read Fifty Shades to discover how not to write a book for quality but for sensationalist salesmanship of secret desires you would like to explore but are ashamed to admit. If you admit all of that, people will look at you strangely and that look influences you without you even realizing at times.

But there is something you are missing. You are important as you. If you like to wear Polo shirts and khaki pants plus do all those things above then do it. Why, because that’s you. You are your norm. The only norm in the universe is what people are meant to be. Not what a society expects people to be.

The importance of being you is that you are meant to influence something in this world for something good. This isn’t to say you are to intentionally go about seeking out what that is. Just. Be. You. As a teacher I know of what I speak. There may be something I said that made an impact in a student’s life that then brought about something in them that then led to something in another and so on.

The power of positivity in life is an expanding phenomenon. It’s a building block on top of another and another and another leading to something. One harsh word, one sarcastic barb, one insensitive comment at the wrong time and you, yes you, may push a person over a line. What is that line? Perhaps it is not going to college, not getting a job, committing suicide . . . not asking for help . . . not asking for help again.

Whatever you are, that’s the line you should take without embarrassment or shame or feeling awkward. The ultimate expression of love—to me—would be to be you and not an imitator or fake. Truth is love. Therefore, you being who you are is love and that is so important in this world. Once you realize it’s okay to be you, it’s the norm to be you, then you recognize and accept it’s okay and the norm for other people to be themselves is okay as well.

The norm is in each form.

 For my first post in my BeWoW series click Get Positive: Sorting Your Life’s Junk.

I thought I would add a little mention after a reader thought of the above article. Do not think that if your norm is to be a murderer or child molester is something that would be considered positive on the world. The I idea someone might consider those lines of behavior as norms of positivity that I would think of never occurred to me and thus never entered the original article above.

As a follow up to this post I wrote Encouragement as a Norm not an Exception the very next day.

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25 thoughts on “The Importance of Being You.”

  1. Yep, so very true. We are interconnected individuals and we all have our own roles to play. I love the mantra ‘Just. Be.’ When will that be a campaign slogan for some egregious politician?

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  2. I get it, but at the same time, we (as a society) NEED larger norms to hold onto, to protect us, because we operate best as a group (we are a social species for a reason) and if my norm is child pornography or building nailbombs in my garage, then there’s a reason that these things, even if they feel ‘normal’ for me, are utterly, utterly unacceptable, and there needs to be a level of social sanction.

    This would make a fascinating topic to take further into exploring taboos and why they exist.

    I really like your angle on this – it got me thinking 🙂

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    • The idea here is about not being ashamed or afraid of being different than the societal ideal golden child perfection. I didn’t mention people should be child molesters or murderers and the like because I imagined people would take it as a given those would be things that are not something you should do and still be a positive person. A child molester would be a negative influence. Perhaps I should have included “Hey, don’t be a child molester or murderer” to the article but it wasn’t in my thoughts and thus not in my words at the time. But the way it was written did get you to thinking and that did have a positive impact. So I guess it was not included for a reason.

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        • I know you were doing so to make a point. And I appreciate that you liked my angle and got what I was saying. One thing I mentioned was that becoming that ultimate anti-societal-norm would result in a person being separated from society and that separation would end up meaning we are separated from love and friends and happiness and that I don’t think anyone is meant to be completely alone.

          I only replied to clarify what I was meaning in case anyone else read your comment and maybe thought I meant something else. I KNEW what you meant.

          Also, don’t take anything anyone else said in rely to your comment as being something I agree with or I suppose disagree with. I personally believe we all make choices and our choices lead us to where we go.

          I believe in free will and if there were such a thing as destiny or fate, especially on the level that has been mentioned then why make choices at all? Just sit back with some chips and watch TV while whatever is supposed to happen happens. 🙂

          Thank you for your comments. I enjoy thinking and discussing.

          Much Respect to You. 🙂

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          • Ahhh I didn’t think of that bit but yes. Separating from society, even through something as innocuous as becoming a peace-loving hermit, will have huge knock-on effects. I quite simply think we are MEANT to be in relationship with other people, and that the taboos and extremes and the things which unite us are all there for a reason – part and parcel of the wonder which is ‘keeping society okay’ 🙂

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            • Yeah. I am a hermit of sorts because of a concussion that resulted in retrograde amnesia and short term memory problems, and migraines that never go away only vary in intensity. Plus I have fairly extreme Fibromyalgia. I like my privacy and being alone in my room as much as possible but I have those moments of needing to venture out and if nothing else, to at least see other people exist. And then there is my blogging. But I suppose that could be seen as a form of hermitism as well. Did I just make up a word? 🙂

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    • Lizzy my dear, I’m going to dig into History, because the topic is fascinating. Do you think that Hitler was meant to be a Dictator who did all the horrid things he did? Not many people know, but he was a very talented artist. He was however never encouraged to peruse the art. It was the time of the Great Depression after all.

      There is this thing that people call the difference between your Fate and your Destiny. Very interesting theory… so just indulge me here…

      In short our Destiny is the best possible outcome your life can have on this world, while your fate is the worst possible outcome.

      It was Hilter’s Destiny to be an artist. It was his fate to be a very bad figure in history who caused much pain and suffering.

      What Ronovoan is referring to in this post is Destiny. To be the best possible version of yourself and achieve the best possible outcome for the betterment of the Universe.

      I’m going at this from a bit of an esoteric angle, but I think you get me right?

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      • Heheh of course, Serins. I ‘got’ Ronovan, even though it seems that my response has been hugely misunderstood. I think it’s a good post, and I’m not sure how much I buy into fate or destiny, because I still think we have choices to make, and that at any time we can choose to add positive or negative influence to the world.

        But thanks 🙂

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  4. This Ronovan, is beyond amazing. This post, I mean. totally beautiful. Some time ago there was a matter, which was plaguing my heart, and I did not know what to do about it. It was driving me nuts day and night.

    Then I decided to let the chips fall where they may, as they say, and just be me! My heart is less plagued regarding the matter. 🙂

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