“You’re such a liar.”
“Shut up. You have NO idea what you’re talking about.” I didn’t care if he did or not, but I wasn’t in the mood for anything he had to say right now.
There was only one problem with that. “That empty hole in your chest, the cold-hollow ache in your bones like a cancer…you know what it is.” He just never knows when to shut up and didn’t give a crap about my moods.
“This is none of your business, so for the last time shut it.” If I clenched my teeth any tighter they would break.
“This is just as much mine as yours. I’m just not the coward here who’s afraid to admit the truth.” I hated him. I wasn’t a coward, I just didn’t want to hurt again. I didn’t want the tidal waves to come pounding back in where her love had left from me.
“Ever think about what-ifs?” I didn’t expect or wait for an answer. “I live on them. They are my protein that keep me alive.”
“I know that, Walker. You think that’s news to me? You think I don’t know about your every feeling of dread at every wasted second without her?” If anyone would know it was him.
“I’m tired. This tornado of emotions I live, not knowing when the next moment will be…it hurts.”
“Which hurts worse…pain of never knowing or the pain after the joy of having her for those few brief moments? That is what you need to decide.”
“I already made my decision. Don’t you know that, Mr. Know-Everything? Would I be like this if I hadn’t? Do you think I could live without her…even if having her is for only minutes at a time?” I hated him. Why couldn’t he let me wallow in my self pity?
“I know all of that. I’m here to keep reminding you of it…lest you forget it.” I slammed the notebook shut.
READ ME NOW!
I stared at those words on the cover–words I had been reading for years.
Gripping the notebook in both hands, I tore it in half with only the binding keeping the two pieces together. The small trash can beside the hotel bed rattled and rocked from the fall of the notebook into it.
I didn’t want to read any more.
Walker: In Search of Life by Ronovan
(Tales from my drafts folder. I rarely share my fiction. I know good writing when I see it. But with limited computer abilities right now I thought I would show you why I review books and do interviews.)