“Permanence, perseverance and persistence in spite of all obstacles, discouragements, and impossibilities: It is this, that in all things distinguishes the strong soul from the weak.”-Thomas Carlyle
I’ve moved away from talking about my health issues in the specifics in recent months. I felt as though my health was becoming me. And honestly I thought I had talked it to death. Well, I wish we could talk our ailments to death. If that were the case I would have been healthy a long time ago. But anyway, I wanted to be more positive in my writing I shared. However, at times I realize one should open up and share to let others know what can be done. Things don’t HAVE to stop you.
I’ve never given much thought to perseverance as a word to describe myself. It’s been said by others but I’ve always put it off as a kind thing to say. I don’t mean to say they were being dishonest and lying just to make me feel better by saying it, but being kind in how they viewed my situation.
Many don’t know what Fibromyalgia is, but it’s a health situation that umbrellas a great many things including Chronic Pain and Chronic Fatigue. Much more goes in to it than that, but those two cane be easily identifiable with. Combine that with Osteoarthritis throughout the spine, including the neck, herniated discs in the spine and neck, and various other ailments, life can be such a joy at times.
But then you add the concussion I suffered two years ago, a Grade 3 Concussion that led to Retrograde Amnesia, short term memory loss, migraines that never cease, yes I mean I have migraines 24/7, sound and light sensitivity, and something else I can’t remember, and you end up with a very interesting life situation.
I know of the concussion because it is a habit to know now. A journal I kept around that time, barely legible as I was writing with either hand depending on the moment, tells me what was going on. I’ve slowly begun to let it go, the specifics of things, I’m not a dweller. I’ve truly decided to move on and not allow man made guilt hold me back from enjoying life.
Why tell all of this?
I have a book tentatively set to come out in December. A second book in the final draft stage before proofing and editing, that will then be shopped around to agents/publishers. I have a fairly successful blog, a group of online friends, and much more.
No, I don’t remember my family. I remember my son. I make an effort to remember history of my life as I am told in order to fit in, or at least act as though I am normal enough in my son’s eyes so he an have a normal father. I don’t wear my sunglasses like I should, nor my earplugs to avoid looking like an oddity around him. Seeing me put into an ambulance and then following it, only to see it disappear was upsetting enough for him not to have to be reminded of it every time he looks at me.
With the very odd life I have, I still push forward. I never gave it thought as being perseverance. I wanted to write a book and have my son something in the world to say, “My Daddy did that.”
People write a book for a lot of reasons. Yes, I love writing, but I mainly want something left behind for my son to be able to hold up and always look to. I want to be able to contribute to his life in many ways.
Maybe what I’m talking about isn’t perseverance. Maybe it’s simply being a father. Maybe it’s love. Whatever it is, it has brought me this far, and I intend to keep going.
I still have to write that book he helped come up with.
Ronovan is an author, and blogger who shares his life as an amnesiac and Chronic Pain sufferer through his blog RonovanWrites.WordPress.com. His love of poetry, authors and community through his online world has lead to a growing Weekly Haiku Challenge and the creation of a site dedicated to book reviews, interviews and author resources known as LitWorldInterviews.WordPress.com.
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Oh I got so sad reading this–life is such a trial! I really like that you said perhaps it’s LOVE, for your son, rather than perseverance. Not having any family connections/friends–no child–it’s just plain ol’ perseverance for me…and some days I grow bleeping weary of having to “show up” and persevere. You are in my nightly prayers–I admire your tremendous courage and determination. God bless you.
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Much love and many blessings! Through your sharing, you have allowed so much strength to surface, that regardless of the “conditions” of your life, gives life to you unconditionally. Bring those books forth and write with mad passion for in their creation, you shall set yourself free! ❤
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[…] post is linked to Colleen’s and Ronovan’s weekly posts. Check out both of them for some truly inspiring and thought provoking articles by a […]
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Your determination and love are both incredible gifts. I found this post very moving. Though my experience came no way near yours in challenge, I did have a physical ailment, which has slowed down fortunately–and I did get tired of explaining–damned if you do and damned if you don’t in that regard.
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Hi Ron! Great quote. I truly relate with it and it’s quickly becoming my motto in life. As I research the people who have succeeded in ways that I’d like to succeed the words perseverance and persistence always come up. I also relate to what you wrote about wanting to leave your son something to hold on to and always look at. I’m sure that you will write that book and your son will cherish it. ❤
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[…] ♥♥ Today is Wednesday. I am linking this post to Silver Threading’s Writer’s Quote Wednesday and to RonovanWrites’ Be Wonderful on Wednesday (BeWoW).♥♥ […]
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I love your post, Ronovan, and am honored to be in your loop of friends ( and admirers.) I have no doubt whatsoever that you will write “that book,” because you impress me as a man clearly in touch with his contribution to this earthly plane. Seems to me you are in the arena in which you belong, and as we all know with the written word, there is no “there” to get to, there is only the cognizance of one’s suitability in the arena and the willingness to stay the course. I think it all grows from there of its own volition, and all a writer has to do is stay in the game! I believe in you and will be watching. Thank you for this wonderful, thought-provoking post. In this very moment, you make me proud of the company I keep, by virtue of the fact that you’re in the fold!
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I’ll go die in the closet, in the dark, from spontaneous combustion now. Either I’m embarrassed or there was too much salsa in my soup. 🙂
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Great quote, Ronovan. Although not all people who persevere succeed at everything they try, what’s sure is that people who don’t, will never succeed. I’m sure your son is and will be, very proud of you. Good luck with the book and we’ll be making a lot of noise about it. ♥
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A moving reflection – thank you for having the courage to share them with your friends. May you rest your struggles in the compassionate arms of God each day and find comfort from this enduring strength.
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Reblogged this on Toward the within… and commented:
An amazing post!
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You are most certainly a fine example of Thomas Carlyles words.
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