Thanks, Dad! – Flash Fiction

“Hey, did you see that show last night?”

“Which one?”

“Well, it was the only one worth watchin’. So classy. So luxurious. So loaded wi—”

“Dad!”

“Yeah!”

“Do you know where the peanut butter is?”

Bill’s eyes narrowed in deep thought. “Yeah, I think it’s in the garage on the John Deere.”

“Again?”

“Hey, don’t judge me.”

“Thanks, Dad!”

“That’s more like it.”

“So what was this show? I thought you only watched ESPN and Fox?”

“Yeah. But, they don’t show stuff like this one. Let me tell you, you get to go inside thei—”

“Dad!”

“Yeah!”

“Do you know where the jelly is?”

“Which one?”

“The strawberry, duh. Is there any other kind that matters?”

“Don’t get smart with me, girl. And I think it’s in the bedroom.”

“Again.”

“What did I ju—”

“Thanks, Dad.”

“Man, kids these days. No good snots.”

“So, what did you get to see?”

“Huh? See? Where?”

“The show.”

“Oh, in the bedroom and the shower.”

“What kind of show was this. Please tell me it was a home improvement show?”

“Nah, those guys have nothing on this—”

‘”Dad!”

“In the camper!”

“Thanks, Dad.”

“Uh, did you guys just get back from a trip?”

“Yeah, how’d you know?”

“Well, you left the bread in the camper.”

“Bread? What bread?”

“For your daughter’s sandwich.”

“What sandwich?”

“What the? The peanut butter and jelly sandwich she’s making.”

Once again, Bill’s eyes narrowed in deep thought. And deeper. And still deeper. So deep this time, he came out speaking English with a funny accent.

He said, slapping his knee. “You don’t put strawberry jelly on a peanut butter sandwich, you dumb hick. You use mayonnaise.”

At this point, I shook my head, concerned the grinding gears inside might begin to seize from frustration.

“I gotcha. You’ll never believe it. It was hosted by Je—”

“Thanks, Dad. I found it.”

“I’m glad, princess. You believe what this hick thought you were doing. He thought you were making a peanut butter and strawberry jelly sandwich.”

“Mister, everyone knows you put mayonnaise on them.”


This is an attempt to use some of what our guest writer today, from Reedsy, Desiree Villena wrote in her article 5 Unexpected Ways to Ineject Humor Into Your Writing.


 © 2020 Ronovan Hester Copyright reserved. The author asserts his moral and legal rights over this work.

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