Don’t ALLOW people to control YOU.

Don’t ALLOW people to control YOU.

by: Ronovan


Why are you not a success? You know why, because everyone is right about you. You give up every time.

Sounds a bit harsh doesn’t it? It does when put like I just did. But that’s the way we are told or the way we think it.

I wrote recently about Female Executivea lady executive from Coca Cola that I heard at a business luncheon. In that article I wrote about doing your best at whatever you are doing at a given time. Well I mentioned she gave two pieces of advice that day. I actually typed those pieces of advice up and saved them on my computer. What? You think I remember all this stuff?

As important as doing your best always is, controlling you is even more so. What do I mean by controlling you?

You LET others cause YOU to give up.

You ever had someone make you so mad that you just decided not to do whatever it was that you wanted to do that you were going to enjoy? If you answered no, I’ll give you a few moments to think about it so you can say yes.

Kitty In Repose

Now that you had a chance to look at my cat, Kitty, I will go with a unanimous ‘Yes’ to my previous answer. And her name is Kitty, that wasn’t just a different way to call a cat. The lady executive explained that growing up she faced many people who told her she could not achieve her goals.

  • You are black and can’t get a good education.
  • You are black and female and can’t go to college.
  • You are black and female and can’t compete in business.

If she had listened to them, she would have allowed them to make her give up. By agreeing with them, she then chose to give in, if she had done so. If you choose not to do something, be it finishing a book, an art project, or a novel you have always wanted to write then YOU choose not to do it.


“But they made me mad.”Blame signs


See your words there? They didn’t make you mad. You chose to LET them make you mad by allowing their words and their opinions control you.

If they say something the ball is now in your court. Do you return the serve and let them have control or do you just let it go and laugh at their anger over not being allowed to try and win the point?

The only person to control your creative output is you. The only one to control your anger and emotions is you.


Overwhelmed Man“But you have no idea what I go through.”


And you don’t know what I go through either. But I choose to push on, and keep writing, creating, encouraging and loving those I come in contact with. Do I get all of that back in return from everyone? No, but then again I don’t go in expecting or asking it. I can only control me. If I turn out okay at the end of the day, if I accomplished my goals, if I have controlled my emotions, output and interactions then I have succeeded.

Does this work? Ask the lady millionaire who is probably retired by now with a great deal of stock in Coca Cola.

Or ask me. I wrote a 35,000-40,000 word book in one day. Would you tell me that it was not possible? Probably, and I was told I couldn’t do it. But I did and it’s in the revision stages now. I was told I couldn’t start a blog and do anything with it. I’m here. I’m told it’s physically impossible to do what I do, but I’m doing it.

You are here too, reading this and wondering if any of it makes sense. Give it a try. The next time someone cuts you off in traffic, don’t yell, don’t get angry, don’t swear, just let it go.

Be Happy Belly

© Copyright-All rights, 2014.


32 thoughts on “Don’t ALLOW people to control YOU.

  1. Well I would like to meet that single person who says NO 🙂
    I was a slow learner…got few shitty teachers who told me that I would be good for nothing in my life…I would be the biggest failure 😀
    Great Post Ron…just loved it

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I, too, accomplished a few things because I was angry that someone said I could not do it. Now, I believe in what my Creator tells me. He is a gracious, loving and encouraging Father who lifts me up. He is my source of joy and contentment, no matter the circumstances.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. You don’t know how badly I needed to read to read this today… I’m on the fence about homeschooling my son. He’s now going into 7th grade, but the kids beating him up on a daily basis has me furious. Add to that, the fact that nothing is being done to these kids, because they are the sports stars who give the school a decent name. Well, everyone around me is saying “You’re crazy. There’s no way you’re going to be able to do it. You’re giving up ALL your free time. You’re NEVER going to get a break from your son. You’re NEVER going to have the chance to write. And the list of things I’ll NEVER be able to do again goes on…” I’m on the fence because in NY, a regents diploma is now mandatory. Do I possess what it takes to teach m child regents classes? I’ll never know unless I try. Will my child thrive outside of the school district, or will he slack off and not put in as much effort? I’ll never know unless I try. I’m SO sick of people telling me what’s best for me and what I should be doing. It’s MY life. It’s my son’s life. I’ve got this… BACK OFF.

    Thanks for sharing.

    Liked by 2 people

    • When it comes to a child there is no such things as NEVER. A parent will do everything in their power to MAKE it happen. Once into homeschooling there are actually groups, so you’re not as alone as you think, at least around here there are groups. The fact that you care enough to even consider it shows how intelligent you are to consider the options.
      Much Respect

      Liked by 1 person

      • Thank you. My time to live my life was before I had my son. Once I gave birth my life became shared. Often times I have to give up my writing for the day because he wants to go somewhere or do something. It’s called being a parent. Add to that the fact that I’m a single parent. I don’t see it as others do. I’m not LOSING anything. I believe I’ll be gaining much more by homeschooling. I’ll definitely strengthen our already unbreakable bond and maybe I’ll get to know my son even better. How is this at all a lose/lose situation? I see it as win/win all around!

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Just yesterday I was thinking about this the number of people who tell you you cant do something..either because they have never been able to do those things are just dont want you to move on to a better place or situation in life..whatever it is Its so important to be in touch with your goals and to be focused..Thank you Ronovan


    • I agree. The ONLY reason people tell us we can’t is because they can’t or are afraid to attempt it. Their ego doesn’t ant to see us succeed. Well look out world! You’ve yet to meet the likes of Kate and Ryan McKie. WE don’t give up. WE don’t listen to negative talk, and WE know/acknowledge that these nay sayers are just self projecting. So, instead, WE carry on, WE forge through and WE reach the finish line. WE use their negativity as motivation. As should everyone else. Not to prove a point, but to prove that YOU can do it.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Well-written piece! I’ve faced this type of negativity before, even down to the way I walk (why you walk so straight?) I’ve learned to ignore ignore ignore. But that’s not always easy. Sometimes people need someone else who’s endured this to tell them to never give up.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you! But they were her words, not mine. Well for the most part. And when someone like her talks you listen, and then you go home and type up the notes and start teaching it to the other people in your corporation. 🙂 And everyone else you meet.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. I’ve been surrounded my negative people a lot of my life. Thankfully I had a mother and good family that helped me to realize just how much I had to give, and that I was able to accomplish my goals not just wish for it. I still fall into that self-doubt mind set but I try my best to not give in to negative thoughts. Thanks for the encouragement.

    Liked by 1 person

    • The lady knew what she was talking about that spoke that day. I ended up training this to countless corporate adult groups and then to youth in ministry.


  7. Reblogged this on ronovanwrites and commented:

    Check this article I wrote back in May of last year. It was one of the most popular at the time and considering the few followers I had then, it has a good number of likes. It will come in handy to have read as the weeks pass here on the blog with some things I have planned.


  8. Thank you Ronovan! I have a great example for you… just a few days ago, I received word from my ex after 6 months of silence. I admit, at first I allowed it to disrupt my entire world. I became a mess in mere minutes as I remembered all of the struggles I went through to get away from him. I gave myself an entire day off from everything to meditate, center, and let go of it all. You see, it affected my ability to concentrate and write and well, writing is what I do. That day off of letting go helped tremendously. I am back in full writer mode again 🙂 your words are encouraging and much appreciated. I look forward to what you have coming up next related to this.

    Liked by 1 person

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