I don’t want anything violating my ‘in box’ unless it has my permission to do so. I am more the one venturing out into in boxes type of person. Not going to apologize for it. It’s the way I’ve always been.

Think about if something just showed up there one  day without you even knowing it was coming. Wouldn’t that upset you? There you are, minding your own business and suddenly your warning goes off that there it is. There is this strange meat thing in your in box.

Did you know that Spam stands for Spiced Ham? Well that’s one definition of it. There is another definition that comes from Monty Python where Spam kept showing up in all of the food on the menu and even in a news report. And now you know why those unwanted things in your email are called Spam. I’m serious, that is where the name for email spam comes from.

 

I get a certain kind of Spam in my in box.  No, sorry, no spiced meat here, just unwanted email. A little spiced meat is good every now and then, right? Sometimes a lot of spice meat is amazing. Makes the body feel good.

(Thank you Hugh for clue me into this saying.)

 

Now I somehow wonder if the sort of spam I receive is all connected and if they have access to my medical records because these spam people know way too much about my needs medical history.

 

I really have no idea how things happen. Back in the old  days when everyone used to have these things called mail boxes you would get junk mail and it would be things for sell and advertisements that were at least half way possibly could be useful. And best of all? They were appropriate for all viewing audiences. An aside for a moment, have you ever considered how to say ‘advertisement’? When I say it out loud I say ad ver tize ment, but when reading I say ad ver tis ment. Sorry for that, just popped to mind. Remember, unedited and this is a good day.

 

Then Al Gore invented the internet.

 

Now I enter the email zone.

I have no idea how some of these ended up with me but I wonder if they are all connected somehow. Yes some do end up in the spam box and not the in box before any over smarty types attempt to tell me how to keep this from happening but it’s still in my email so get a life and don’t be so OCD about things.

 

(I have a real image for that one but I think I might get in trouble if I shared it.)

 

Did I vent much there? Perhaps there is a tech person in my life that drives me insane. Just saying. Don’t worry, unless the title sounds like I’m suicidal they don’t read these things.  You think I jest?

 

But see if you see a connection with these gems that I receive multiple times and then tell me if I should be talking to my doctor about his selling information or not.  These are the actual titles of the emails.

 

Dr. Oz endorses Forskolin burn fat quicker, eat this, never diet again

I’m Fat!?!

Yeah, well, aren’t we all for the most part. Well most of my parts are. Hmm . . . that sounded kind of wrong, didn’t it? But I’m leaving it in anyway. Today Ronovan is venting and unedited. Where is that tea?

Yes, I lost 70 pounds in less than six months and need to lose some more, but is that a reason to just send me nasty emails about it? And that name, Forskolin, I swear if you combine it with my other spam mail it just sounds WRONG! You don’t think so? Just you wait.

 

Twitter-Adriana has found me there too

No that’s not the title of the email but I didn’t really want Hey big Stud to become my new nickname here in Blog World.

You all might remember Adriana from my last In Box rant. She has been after me in my email as though being from facebook. Apparently she has decided to get to me through Twitter now. She must be into role playing and dress up because each time she sends an email her description keeps changing. Sounds interesting but kind of scares me. One day I might open one of those emails, but for now I just see that little preview thingy. The words, people, the words!

 

Match.com Partner View Photos of Singles on Match.com for Free

I guess somehow people know Adriana is not making any headway with me. So now I have the singles services calling. I can bet you see a major problem with my receiving a singles ad. Hey, it’s a free world, do what you like, I ain’t a judger or fudger. (That’s a reference to my Sunday Thoughts message called Sex and Hell, if anyone was wondering. A judger is a person that judges others and a fudger is a person that fudges scripture to make it mean what they want it to.) Some couples even have that open thing going on or whatever the situations are.

 

SIZE MATTERS AS SEEN ON TV –PENIS ENLARGEMENT

I don’t watch TV. I’m serious, the most I watch is about 10 minutes with my son ‘B’ in the mornings while he eats breakfast before school. It makes me wonder where this is shown on TV. And really, I think I need to talk to my doctor about a file leak in his office.

 

Only losers have tiny weeners-stop being a loser Dr. MAXMAN

Okay now the first one didn’t get me so they sent in this guy, another doctor no less. I’m not sure what the size of hotdogs has to do with success but if Dr. Oz wants me to lose weight then I don’t understand why this guy was sent after me. But I would think tiny portions of sausages and losing is what a doctor would want.

 

Request Spank me: I’m waiting for you on my bed Adriana

Yep, there she is again. Adriana now has made a request. I’m not sure what she did wrong but apparently she wants punished. It makes me wonder how old she is if spanking is a form of correction. Maybe just putting her in time out would work. That could explain the dress up and role playing things she  has going. Maybe she is just trying to set up a play date.

 

3+ Inches Today Be the most confident man in town

Okay, I get this one. It does make since. The more inches you have the more confident you might feel. I’m over 6 feet tall so another 3 inches would make me even taller and stand above the crowd even more. Tall can mean confident.

 

Enlarger Pills May your dreams of a big schlong come true

I’m not really sure what this one is. I haven’t been to a delicatessen in years.

 

Dr. Maxman Harder erections, she will feel it, Rwherse

Okay so apparently this doctor has changed from dealing with weight issues to sexual problems. I really need to talk to my doctor about that leak in his office. One thing this doctor doesn’t understand. It doesn’t matter what his program for this is, I still have a 10 year old gifted child running around. What makes you think I want a cure? If you don’t understand that, then you don’ t know what either a) having a 10 year old boy is like, b) what having a gifted child can be like, or c) haven’t had the two combined into one boy.

Ladies pardon me for a moment, please turn away for about 5 seconds and then skip to the next bold text.

 

Men if you are having erections and needing help for her to feel them . . . I don’t think harder is your answer.

 

Okay ladies. we’re back.

Now do you see why the Dr. Oz endorsing Forskolin just sounded wrong to me?

 

So you might see my concern about my doctor, right? Weight loss and that other problem or problems.

 

You can use spam filters to help you keep these nasty little things away but really there is only one thing to do. This man stole the method from us Southern type folks.

 

What’s in YOUR in box? Let us know, leave a comment. Is Adriana asking you for a play date too?

Happy Spam Hunting

Ronovan

 

More tea vicar tea cosy from pinterest.com

Al Gore image by from cheezburger.com

Animated gifs from giphy.com

 

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