Sex and the Religious; what an odd assortment of words we have there. Those of the devout guild find they are walking a tightrope when it comes to what they will and will not allow themselves to write about. I tend to have a different view of it myself I suppose, but still I’m hesitant.
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t plan to write gratuitous orgiastic scenes of origami like contortions. But I think this is one area that authors who are also The Religious are very uncomfortable with for fear of being a bad example to others or feel like they will be promoting something that is wrong according to their morals. Or perhaps they are really just afraid their friends will find out what goes on inside their imaginations. I’m being honest here.
I believe writing should be honest. If a scene in a romance or adventure, or true life story is leading toward intimacy then taking a sharp turn away without any previous reason for said turn would, to me, be dishonest to the reader, the character, and the story.
If the characters are people who are fighting against these urges because of some moral feeling then I understand, but if during the entire run up to this scene there has never been any wavering of any sort then I find it difficult to change my course of writing. And if there is that sudden swerve then there needs to be some show of an aftermath struggle with at least one character.
I know I know it could be that the situation is unique to the characters mind and morals when other things are okay to them to do, but sexuality is something that exists, and even the devoutly Religious fall into it at times. My struggle has been with wanting to show the readers that those professing Religious leanings are normal people sharing normal feelings and falling into situations just like anyone else. It’s sometimes how they deal with the aftermath that may be different or even the same.
There is a romance I’ve written that has scenes where one of the characters is experience these feelings, very intense feelings, and part of the story line is letting those feelings into the mind and having to deal with them. The body reacts and says one thing while the mind says another. You see what the body feels at times. Needless to say, if you know me, there are no words said or used that would be inappropriate but the actions are obvious and telling.
I guess I am in that area of to push through with sharing my visions or whitewashing over them, which I think weakens the entire story.
Sex sells but that’s not what the story is about or for. Sex is just a part of the bigger picture. Sex is real. Sex is not a lie. Denial of it is. So what does one do, be true to the story, or lie and paint an unrealistic character? Do you think the devoutly Religious should leave the topic alone or try to present it as a fact of life that we all face, but some maybe struggle with it in different ways?
ronovanwrites 
Brilliant post! I’ve never been afraid of including sex in my writing, it’s real, and I’m being honest to my characters and writing. I don’t believe there should be any boundaries when it comes to writing.
Arran
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Very Well said !!
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I feel like it comes down to the morals of the characters, not the writer. Writer create characters who do all sorts of things they take issue with. Why is sex always the thing that takes it too far?
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That’s partly why I wrote the article. We as writers allow our characters to do all sorts of things that may not be considered exactly moral but for some the issue of sex is the breaking point. It’s as though a Religious character cannot have sex and still be religious, this of course being outside of marriage sex. But one moral broken is the same as another moral broken so I see it as dealing with truth and reality instead of trying to turn life into something it isn’t. But for some writers that’s the line they won’t cross. I respect that and I see their point but for me I have to choose my own writer’s path. And thank you for reading and commenting! 🙂 I know I get the for real from you.
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Sex is not a lie. Denial of it is. – great, great line right there. Funny I have an article drafted about this similar topic. Thanks for the push to find my way to finishing it! I think our society has sexuality and religion and good versus evil WAY to mixed up.
Well done!
Peace ~ Allison
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Thank you very much. I really appreciate that. I was a bit hesitant to even publish this one but finally decided it needed to be done. I can’t wait to read yours!
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JUST LOVE YOUR POSTS 🙂 🙂
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Thank you. 🙂
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Agree with you that characters need to be “three dimensional” and connect with the reader in some way. Another thought was that not all religions are anti-sex. So, one avenue to explore might be other cultures where sexual mores are quite alien to the Puritanical viewpoint.
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The primary issue here was the idea primarily of sex outside of marriage, although not mentioned specifically. I think so many forget what their pasts have been and only see their presents when approaching any subject.
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I was thinking the same thing…writing about sex. It’s often uncomfortable though I write about it in a tasteful manner. There’s no point in avoiding it, especially if you’re a writer. It’s just my humble opinion.
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Right. If you handle it the right way then you do something positive about it. 🙂 Okay, I like your picture. It looks like you are staring at me. 🙂 Like in that “You did not just say that.” way. Awesome.
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🙂 Well I’m glad you like my OMG! picture. 🙂 Great post by the way.
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Thank you. 🙂
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I have a friend who faced this very situation in his writing – in reading his work, I believe he dealt with it well. Interesting point to ponder. My personal faith in God is devout, but I agree that sex is a big part of life and I think I would be comfortable writing about it (not in detail – I’d let the readers imagination take them…) In fact, I think it would be spectacularly fun to write about, it almost makes me want to write fiction, hmmmm.
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Writing Fiction is very relieving in a way. You can just let everything go. All of those thoughts and put them onto a character. 🙂 You are a survivor so I am sure you can write some great and inspiring stories.
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I haven’t written fiction in years, it’s something I’m thinking about doing again. Once I get inspired that is. And thanks.
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Really interesting point you’ve raised. We see character grappling with religion or sex, but I haven’t read many trying to work out how to deal with the intersection of the two, or diving into one while also facing the other. Of course it depends on which religion and what it teaches about sex, but given the passions the two things raise it’s a fascinating area.
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Thank you for the comment. 🙂 I think it’s an area that is somewhat avoided in a way. I see no reason to show the struggles of what one has to do with the other. I think a lot of people would connect with it than we think Oh, and thanks for the like. 🙂 And now the follow. I looked at your bio. I write fiction, science fiction, one with people living in an original city built over by a modern city. I’ve been a teacher of history, data analyst, and in my darkest hours a manager of my own division at a call center (but inbound), and even sold life insurance. You have a new Follower. 🙂
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Sounds like we’ve covered a lot of the same ground in both careers and writing! I look forward to reading more of your thoughts.
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“May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth” (proverbs 5:18)
“A loving doe, a graceful deer—may her breasts satisfy you always,may you ever be intoxicated with her love” Proverbs 5:19 (new international version)
http://biblehub.com/niv/proverbs/5.htm
Do I need to make a point?
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I take your point to be – the story determines what will enter in. I like this. At some point along the way, it isn’t about me as author or anything I might agree or not agree with anymore – the characters are determining their next steps and I must be true to that. Great post on a subject that needs to be aired.
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Exactly. It’s the story of the characters, not ourselves. 🙂 Thank you.
Much Respect
Ronovan
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Hello Ronovan! I say be true to the story! Like you wrote sex is real and natural. How the character in your story deals with sex depends on who the character is. Is your character a priest, a teen overwhelmed by hormones, a married couple or a couple that’s very attracted to each other on their 6th date? If it works with the story so be it.
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🙂 Agreed. Sex can’t hide. And really never was meant to if you think about it.
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