Sex

Sweet Dreams a Décima Poem.

Ronovan Decima Poetry, Poetry , , , , , , , ,

My entry for this weeks Décima Poetry Challenge No.1 Lake. (A New Challenge here on ronovanwrites.com)

 

Sweet Dreams

To sink into a fiery lake.
Once felt, would not be named a sin.
If it were, I’d do it again.
Our fire couldn’t be a mistake.

Their fear of the snake, such a fake.
Hide in the dark with their wet dreams,
fearing their truth’s not what it seems.
I know what I want, there’s no catch,
Cause there’ll never be another match.
I can’t help but scream in my dreams.

© 2020 Ronovan Hester Copyright reserved. The author asserts his moral and legal rights over this work.

Empty Soul.

Ronovan Haiku, Poetry , , , , , , , , , , , ,

My soul is empty

This far from my hearts dreams,

My whole body weeps.

Empty Soul Haiku on B&W image.

For my Weekly Haiku Challenge. Please join in and add to the family. If you haven’t written a Haiku before, click HERE and there is also a link on that “how to” post that links to instructions on other types of Haiku you might enjoy, such as a Haibun, which is great, because you write a paragraph about something, maybe a nice memory, then you write a Haiku that tells that story in three lines.

From Within.

Ronovan Haiku , , , , ,

A slight twist brings on

Pleasures from deep down within

Surge forth with a scream.

Make Me Sweat.

Ronovan Haiku , , , ,

Never let them see

You sweat in the heat of night

As passion rises.

Let’s Get It On.

Ronovan Haiku , , ,

Never say love me

When you mean let’s get it on,

Light up the candles.

 

On Writing.

Ronovan Quotes, Writing , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

“To write great you must read greater.” Ronovan Hester

Ronovan Hester To Write Great you must Read Greater image.

To write greater, read these:

Dancing to an Irish Reel by Claire Fullerton

Dancing to an Irish Reel by Claire Fullerton

The Judas Apocalypse by Dan McNeil

Dan McNeil Author

Sex & Samosas by Jasmine Aziz

Sex and Samosas by Jasmine Aziz image

Make it Hot in Here! By @Edwinasepisodes

Ronovan Haiku , , , , , , ,

Judy, Judy, Judy is our first in this week for the challenge.Um, urrr, I think I may be turning red right now from that last sentence formed. It’s getting hot in heeerrreee.

Edwina's Episodes

I was going to go in a totally different direction with the prompt words this week for Ronovan’s weekly Haiku Challenge (you can probably guess from the words rahter than the picture)!

I settled on this instead though!

When eating curry

Take your time, start off slowly,

Things will soon get HOT!!

Crab curry

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Peer Pressure: The Bully in Disguise

Ronovan Opinion Articles , , , , , , , ,

As always with a post, I wrote one out and it was long and rambling and ended up with a thought nowhere near the place it began. And I finally ended up with this piece. Maybe it isn’t perfect but it is my contribution.

Red hair, freckles, chubby, and new in school; what do you think those things equal to? Yep, bullied. I survived. But that’s not the bullying I want to talk about today. This is the one type of bullying every person on the planet faces and at one time or other fails at fending off.

Peer Pressure: The Bully in Disguise

bullyingWe have all faced this. Some of us don’t even realize it. If you have been coerced into doing something you didn’t want to do by a friend or group of friends who knew you didn’t want to do that thing, that’s bullying. How many teens have died from that first drug taken? How many girls have ended up pregnant from having sex just one time? How many guys and girls for that matter, have ended up hurt for life because they played a sport they didn’t want to?

What is some obvious ways Peer Pressure looks like?

I was bullied in the traditional way until I got a little older, and figured things out. One thing I rarely fell in to was peer pressure. I saw it happen to friends. That guy in history class who couldn’t lift his head up as he vomited all over his desk because he had drank a whole bottle of vodka or at least most of one before school, the sex behind the concession stand, the sex in the school bus, smoking in the bathrooms. The shoplifting just that once. You name it and someone you know has likely been bullied with the threat of being an outcast because they weren’t cool enough to be adult enough.

But what other types of Peer Pressure Bullying are there?

But it doesn’t stop with those behaviors. My son has let his grades slip. He’s still getting top marks but he’s just doing it at the bottom of that. He didn’t like being called one of the two nerdiest kids in his grade. I told him Bill Gates is a nerd. Nerds make those fancy electronics that all those kids play on rather than focus on studying.

Peer pressure is even present in how we eat.

“You’re eating a fruit cup, yogurt, and a salad at McDonalds?”

“You want water instead of a Coke?”

Even TV.

“You watch Educational TV instead of ESPN?

The traditional type of bullying is bad but Peer Pressure is bullying people haven’t thought about. It’s the kind that kills more teens, likely causes more suicides, and does more damage to our society, cultures, and nations than anything.

The United States government tries to force a certain required system of teaching in place. Any teacher knows you can’t do that. The US worries about dropping further behind nations in education. It’s not that teaching has been wrong; we learned the old ways and are doing fine, and so are the teachers trying to teach this new way.

The problem is countries don’t focus on supporting an environment where each child is to flourish in the area they are best suited for without being made to feel better than others or lesser than others. Each person has a skill, a talent. To change peer pressure it will take decades, decades of first our generation then the next, and then the next to stop it. Once you can give a student self worth and have them understand other students’ self worth, a lot of the other type of bullying will stop.

Building for Bullying Part One.

As I grew older and realized who I was and what I was I saw the problems with peer pressure around me. Some reputations were destroyed of some great young people I knew and they never recovered. Maybe that’s why I am less of a joiner and a late joiner when I do. I sit back and watch and listen and learn. When I am ready, if I am ready, I will take the  next step. But the step has to be for me because I want to.

You can look at my blog and tell I’m not exactly a conformist. I don’t write content that is focused on one thing or in one style. My reading selections are all over the place. I have every type of  friend you can have. I’ve gone my own way. I’ve learned from other peoples’ mistakes. And what I’ve learned I’ve passed on to my son, many students, and youth group members as well as adults that have worked for me over the years.

I could have become a bully. I am a big guy. Temper back then. I was being bullied, and taunted when I snapped. I grabbed the guy by the jacket, spun him around onto the stands in the gym and informed him I was sick of it in a very vocally forceful way. No foul words. Then I sat back down. He was scared. People wanted me to fight him all day. I never did. His bullying reputation was ruined. I didn’t want to start my own.

Building From Bullying Part Two

When my son comes home and talks about a bully, we talk about bullying. We discuss it, who the kid is, what they are like. We discuss why bullies are the way they are. We talk about how fortunate he is to have parents that raise him in a way that doesn’t promote bullying and that is loving and respectful of him and what he likes.

Don’t get me wrong, the word ‘NO’ exists in the house. Usually he knows it’s coming, but he still has to try. A lot of times he’ll be smiling knowing what an answer will be. I’ve discusses in posts before of his intelligence and his heart. He doesn’t hold grudges against kid bullies. Adults though? He holds them more responsible. Yes, he knows adults bully kids. Told you, he’s smart. But he moves on and he treats everyone the same, bully or friend alike. To him, just about everyone is a friend until they do something that is just really dumb.

How much does my son stand up to bullies? He’s the hero of his grand. An older kid had four of them pinned to the wall by the neck with his arms.  My son got away and distracted him so the others got away. Then he told a teacher, in spite of the other boys saying not to. Smart, a heart, and brave. He has a sense of right and wrong that is so ingrained that it shocks me at times. Bullies beware.

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Christian Sex. Try it, you might like it.

Ronovan Thoughts , , , , , , , ,

I’ve started today’s Thought several times and it has ended up on the topic of sex each time. The decision has been made to go ahead and begin with that as the topic.

The world has this view of Christian Sex as something that would resemble two butterflies passing gently by on a spring day with their wings barely touching and then flittering away in opposite directions to hide in shame due to their having made eye contact during the process.

Get two Christians together, married up, and you have the opportunity for the most passionate sex to ever have existed on the planet.

People can argue against that idea. Many do. I’m not denying that non Christians, married or not have great sex. But since this is my blog and my post I’m here to talk about Christian Sex.

Yes, you will have the embarrassed Christian Butterfly Sex.  But then you have the Christian Sex that comes from this bond of trust. This trust that allows for anything and everything to be possible and nothing is off limits. It allows for unashamed joy in the exploration and the satisfaction of each other.Why? Because of that trust, that respect.

In a true, loving Christian relationship the sky is the limit. The secret though is that true, loving Christian relationship. What does that mean? What is that made of? CAN it be achieved?

First of all, a relationship like that takes patience. Patience from the first moment the two meet and onward. You have to learn a lot about each other to discover if the two of you are meant to be. By this I mean you are to discuss almost every single topic. Some say, “Then why not have sex and see if you are the same there, or why not discuss sex before you get married to see if one likes to be tied up and the other is against it.”

Why? Because you don’t know. Until you are in that most amazing relationship of complete trust you don’t know what you are capable of.

People are reading this and thinking. “This guy has lost it. Christians aren’t supposed to do certain things sexually.”

You know, if you look in the Bible you will not find anywhere, it saying there is any kind of sex between husband and wife not allowed. What are the limits then? As long as it is just the two of them, the only limitation is will it in some way hurt the marriage.

How could a consensual act between husband and wife be considered harmful for the marriage? Some things may be physically dangerous, some things may be addictive. When the sex is the object of the marriage and not the spouse and the love of the marriage you have found the sex that should not occur.

The trust, the open and honest ability of each spouse to say no, that is what makes the ultimate Christian Sex possible. It may sound odd to you but some people may not like to have their back touched during sex. A difficult thing, yes, but when their back is touched it brings memories rushing back from being beaten as a child. The body, certain spots have the emotional memory that remains.

“I have the right to do anything,” you say—but not everything is beneficial. “I have the right to do anything”—but I will not be mastered by anything.”~1 Corinthians 6:12

What is the significance of this verse from Paul? As a married couple you have the RIGHT to do any sexual act with each other, but it should be beneficial and it should not master you, control you, become your obsession.

Christan Sex. Try it, you might like it.

For a more weird moment in my thoughts about the subject you can click and read Sex and Hell: My Sunday Thoughts, Enter at Your Own Risk from back in September.

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Harsh Pleasure. (Poetry)

Ronovan Poetry , , , ,

haiku-ronovan-writesI thought I would go a bit of a different route with this one. As with all poetry, the reader should take what they will from it.

haiku poetry

Some may call them harsh,

Moments you give me pleasure,

Are rare in failure.

 

 

Share and Reblog if you wish.
For my Haiku Challenge this Week.

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Pure Love

Ronovan Poetry , , ,

My Guest Lyric Poem on Hugh’s Views & News. Pure Love. Hang on to something. Think upbeat.

From the comments this is one of my best so far. Go check it out and see if Hugh’s Readers are right. Give me your feedback. Should I get someone to do some music for it?

pure-love-what-you-need

Get that Creative Spark Back: Do a Guest Blog

Ronovan Blogging , , , , , , ,

How can you spark your Blog World Creativity?

It’s called the . . .

Guest Blog

Yes, that fabled thing we all hear about and sometimes actually take part in. I did one a while back. Now I’ve done two. Today, this being Friday, November 21, 2014 I have a guest post on Meanings and Musings by Florence T. How in the world did I end up on the blog of a very deep thinking, super intelligent ladies’ blog?

Well it all started back in 1970 when two young tadpoles were born and then . . . okay maybe that’s too far back. Florence is crazy busy in her life and needed a Florence 2stand in for her Blog for the day. And yes, Florence T is the Florence of LitWorldInterviews. So her being so nice as to help me out on that site I was more than happy to step in and save the day. Super Ronovan Writes to the rescue.

Then I find out the topic. I wont’ tell you what it is, you’ll have to go find out for yourself. Let’s just say it’s not a subject I would have thought of. But the good thing is, it stretches the creativity.

When asked, don’t say no. Just go for it and whatever the topic, do it. Just remember, you are writing it and you can make it what you want it to be, not necessarily what they thought it would be.

As long as you write in a respectful manner that doesn’t like insult the audience or the host then cool. Like I know that on Meanings and Musings, Florence’s site, I will not use profanity. Not that I do anyway. She is a professional; attorney, therapist, teaching college, mother, saint. astronaut, former pop diva, and professional wrestler. (Some of that might be true and some might not.)I keep that in mind, although I don’t let it stop me from having fun. I still have to be me, and she knew that going in.

That poor woman. All those poor readers. All I can say is part of the title is “What’s up with Sex?”

Perhaps I will start Guest Posts here. Hmm. Not a bad idea. Random Writers on Ronovan Writes. Interesting.

Much Respect

Ronovan

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Is it in your head or in your . . . What’s up with Sex?

Ronovan Opinion Articles ,

Go check out my insanity on Florence’s Blog! Yes, the one that writes in our weekly Haiku Challenge.

The Good, The Bad and The Ugly… of being Attractive

Ronovan Opinion Articles , , , , , , , , , , ,

This is my Collaboration

with

Amanda of insidethelifeofmoi.

Insidethelifeofmoi_Amanda_Lyle_Copyright.jpg

We worked on this for quite a bit so please go and check it out.

Don’t let the word count fool you, it’s a quicker read than you think.

Much Respect
Ronovan

Things We Wish We Asked On A First Date #FemaleFocusFriday

Ronovan Humor , , , , , , , , ,

You know you’ve all been there, that first day and you go through the same old same old routine. You talk about the people you both know, about the movie you are about to see, maybe a couple of other things. You try not to embarrass yourself while eating the chips and salsa as the chips break apart and fly everywhere. The night comes to a close and it’s time for that end of date routine; kiss or not, call me or not.  Meanwhile things have been left out of the evening that are so so important that would help everyone make some good decisions.

Book with Question Mark

Things We Wish We Asked On A First Date

 

Do you have an arrest record?

You ever been months into a relationship and discovered that special person in your life has a court date coming up that might send them away for a few years? Not that I would know anything about this one.

 

Do you have any STDs?

What? If you are on a date then you should consider the possible outcomes short term or long term. Sex happens, even not the all the way kind that can still make you regret later on. I mean seriously, a crab dinner should be at the restaurant, not left overs you discover the next day. I just thought never thought about why she went to ‘that’ doctor every month.

 

How much do you make a year?

Your date is looking nice. Oh yeeeaaaahhhh. Who did they borrow the clothes from and the car? They living over the parent’s garage? You want to know what the real deal is now not after the wedding. Oh and don’t get hooked up because of earning potential, because let me tell you, that one never works out. Not that I have ever done that, just that I know the earning thing doesn’t always pan out.

 

Do you have kids?

There’s nothing wrong with having kids, just tell the person up front. In my much much younger days I dated a woman with kids. Not a big deal. Just need to know is all. Especially would have been nice to know about the older one . . . by the first husband. We’ll get into that more later.

 

Do you snore when you sleep?

This is one that is difficult to find out normally. Sure, you may even be having sex with someone but there is a good chance they head home afterwards, even if it is the apartment next door, leaving you and your roommate to make up the bed. And ladies, don’t be lookin’ at the men alone on this one. There’s a major drag strip near my house that is on national TV often and can be felt and heard miles and miles away. Just sayin’ some things can drown it out.

 

What’s your father/mother look like?

Your date is hot, but what will they look like down the line? I know that’s not a question anyone should ever even think of because it’s a bit shallow but I had to come up with something, and I tell you there are some that look one way now and in 20 years will look totally different. Again not a big deal, but for some it might be a thing.

 

Do you shave everything?

Yeah, I said it. Men if you are reading this, it’s not just a question we might want to ask. You think you like things a certain way, well perhaps the ladies like things to be a little neater as well. Just sayin’. Yeah, I know. they like their men to be men but men can . . . well, ladies comment on this if you like.

 

What’s your top three favorite sexual positions you would like to try?

This might seem like a bad question but it’s not. One of you may be more into sex than the other. This could legitimately cause some issues down the line, and quickly once the sexual aspect of the relationship begins. At first I put this one down as a joke but then as I thought about it, it’s  a lot more serious than one might think.

What are you like pre-mentrual?

First of all, I was given this question. I never even thought of it. And it was given to me by a woman. I won’t even go into the whys the need to know but I think on the flip side men might should be asked what they are like after their sport team loses.

Did your mother/father cheat on your father/mother?

A serious question. There can be a pattern in families. My own bio-father was  not a good man. I have done everything I could through my life to be as opposite of him as I could.  But things can always sneak up on you without notice. So this isn’t a bad question.  If you were afraid of this question you could also ask . . . well y’all get to comment with your own questions later, so I’ll the options open.

Are you married or hooked up already?

Duh, right? This should never have to be an issue but it is. Okay, I know situations can be different in each relationship, but regardless of what kind of marriage, be it a platonic or traditional one, the date would like to know because that’s some serious junk to deal with. The date has to determine if it’s a deal breaker or not. Just imagine you are at the dates apartment, it’s quiet and dark, and then lights hit the windows from a car pulling up. The date jumps up and yells “My spouse is home.” Your first reaction is well I don’t say those words any longer, I mean I can imagine what a date might say. But the sad part is, what if that was the first date? Put it this way, that would be the last date. Just sayin’.

That’s it for my part of this list of questions, now it’s up to y’all.

What questions can you come up with? Share them in the comments below, and if we have enough, I’ll put out  a reader list early next week of your contributions.

Much Respect

Ronovan

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Sex and Hell: My Sunday Thoughts, Enter at Your Own Risk

Ronovan Thoughts , , , , , , , , , , ,

You ever notice I have strange ideas about things? It’s Sunday and that means Bible thoughts are swirling through the old lost mind. Christians annoy me. They really do. What? That surprises you to hear me say? Well keep reading and see what the old amnesiac has to say.

Sex.Couple kissing and embracing hands on faces

  • If you have it and you’re not married then you go to Hell.
  • If it occurs outside a man woman marriage then the people go to Hell.

You know if I had thought of that in my early to mid twenties when I started searching for a church I would have just said, “Forget it, if I’m going to Hell already then I ain’t gonna bother with it.”

Oh I know, you are thinking, “Ronovan, you forgot about the part where if you get Saved by accepting Jesus as your Lord and Savior then you’re okay.”

No, I didn’t forget it. Nope. Thought about it the entire time.

So here is where I am coming from. Do we all sin? I know some of you are saying you don’t believe in sin and so forth, but okay then. Do we all do bad things, like breaking the laws and such?

Yeah, I see some of you nodding your heads, trying to stay awake and it’s not working. Just like in a church on a hot day right before lunch time and the pastor is preaching the same sermon he has 5 times before and he’s been there less than a year.

If you break a law and you go to court, you end up paying a fine of some sort, be it money or time in jail. Now after you get out of jail or have paid a fine then you are free to go on your way.  That’s because that’s what the rule book says, the law.

Well Christians we have a rule book, a book of law so to speak. Yeah, the Bible, the Word, the Good Book.

  • It says in the Bible that Jesus came for ALL of our sins.
  • It says in the Bible that if you accept Jesus then your sins are thus forgiven.
  • It says in the Bible you have to be perfect from that point forward to stay Saved.

If you agreed to that last one we might need to have a little talk. Because there is a verse in there that says . . . hold on let me find it.

Here it is, John 10: 27-30

27″My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. 28 I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one will snatch them out of my hand. 29 My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all[c]; no one can snatch them out of my Father’s hand. 30 I and the Father are one.”-Jesus

Notice that, “No one can snatch them out of my Father’s hand.” No sinner can snatch you, not even yourself. Once you are in the Father’s hand you are His. You may slide back into a life that you crawled out of, but all the Father asks is that you try to be better. That you try to do better. No one can be perfect, if they could then Jesus would not have had to come in the first place.

Now I am talking to my Christian friends here. We need to stop judging and fudging. Stop judging people and stop fudging the Word of God. “But Ronovan it says in Romans 1 that . . .” Stop right there. Have you ever read Romans 1 and 2 together without the chapter breaks that later man put in there? Without verse numbers? No? Give it a try and then see what is being said.

If you do you might see that Paul is laying into the early Christians of Rome not to judge those that people today condemn in Chapter 1. He is telling them that if they do then they are judging themselves.

What society do you think made up those first Christians in Rome in the first place?

Yes, sex outside of man and woman marriage is a sin as the Bible says. A touchy subject I know. I am a sinner. Yep. Throw me to the pits, oh, wait . . . I accepted Jesus. I . . . and I don’t . . . I don’t judge other sinners.

“But Ronovan you’re judging us for judging others.”

Nope. I am sharing the Word of God.  “But you judged.” No, what I did was point out something that we have all been taught for so long is more of a ‘tradition’ in the church than an actual fact of the faith.

Pastors around the  world today are preaching on Romans Chapter 1 right now as an end all and be all, because it’s what they’ve been taught according to ‘traditions’.

Does the scripture above mean I can go out and sin all I want to and be fine? Technically yes, yes it does. “Then let me sign up now before I go get with the neighbors wife.” It doesn’t work that way. You have to be sincere. Over time things happen and there are outside influences and life situations and all sorts of things that cause one to do this or that. Ask forgiveness and then try to do better.

“Ronovan, do you still think people that have sex with someone other than who they are married to according to the Bible marriage plan is sinning.”

Yes I do. And guess what. I don’t think that sin is any greater than any other sin. There isn’t a tier system. Jesus died for each and every sin, not just what we consider the baby sins.

 

So what inspired me to talk about this today? I really don’t know. I was going to speak on suicide after a popular video was shared with me but then this hit me. Oh, now I remember, it was part of a conversation I had. I think there was a discussion on monogamy.

Did I say things today to encourage people to go out and have sex with other people? No. Did I say they were forgiven if they had accepted Jesus as their Lord and Savior? Yes.

I am sure there are some reading this now wondering about me. “What is Ronovan talking about? I thought he was a Christian. He must be one of them Liberal so called Christians.”

I think it’s odd when a person says they believe in something the Bible says that disagrees with “traditions” they are automatically labeled a Liberal. I actually said something in all of that which would make people say I am a Conservative as well.  My actual party if I were to proclaim one is Christ Led.

Not sure if I said anything anyone learned from today. But this is me on a Sunday, sharing my thoughts of how I see what the Bible says. Not everyone has to agree with me, but I am glad I got that off my chest.

Praying you all have a good week and see you next Sunday.

Ronovan

 

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10 Things Men Think Women Think They MUST Know About Men

Ronovan Humor , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

1o Things Men Think Women Know About Me

A list of things about what I believe is an easy thing to do. I was challenged by Florence T. to come up with a list of things we think women know about us. I of course never back down from a writing challenge. And yes, ladies, challenge me if you will.

I enjoyed this moment to delve into what I think men might think about this. Being a man it should be easy, but y’all may understand why there may be difficulties at times. These are not what I specifically thing about each subject, but I think people get tired of hearing my personal thoughts about things like this. But without any further rambling and to do, in  no particular order but number so I will not get lost I give you . . .

 

10 Things Men Think Women Think They MUST Know About Men

 

#1

What they MUST know:

We  ignore them EVERY time they talk unless the word SEX is mentioned.

man_ignoring_woman_bed_tv.jpg

Truth:

We don’t ignore. We are simply selective in what we acknowledge in having heard. Society has given us a way out. We are portrayed as buffoons on TV and in movies. We do not like this image but if we must suffer through it, then we will take advantage of it. And no, SEX is not the ONLY thing we acknowledge, Hamburgers, Nachos, Tacos, Pizza, and Steak also are worthy. And even for some none of these words will work.

#2

What they MUST know:

We  like women wearing tight fitting clothing or see through clothing.

too_tight_clothing.jpg

Truth:

There is a rare occasion that tight fitting clothing is something we prefer to see women in. I see women wearing things so tight that I wonder how blood circulates. Very few of them should have stepped out in this attire in the first place as the sizes are not only tight, but perhaps two sizes too small. As for the see through attire? We can see more going to a restaurant or walking through any Walmart. Style, grace, a nice fit, and something hinting at what is beneath are far more appealing.  Hinting by the nice fit and the moving of the body under the material.

#3

What they MUST know:

We  are Cuddling Machines.

man_asleep_after_sex.jpg

 

Truth:

We are not Cuddling Machines. Yes we do like to snuggle and cuddle at times, but this is referring to the after SEX moments. For me it is a fortunate thing if the blood pressure is not so great that my arteries do not scream at me. Muscles are trembling and every part of my body is aching from use. It has been the most enjoyable and most excruciating 5 minutes of my life. I cannot cuddle.

 

#4

What they MUST know:

We  want to be examples of perfect health.

 

cookie_monster_shirt.jpg

Truth:

We like salads. We like the grilled salmon over the fried oysters. Both of these statements are sometimes statements. As Cookie Monster says, “C is for Cookie and that’s good enough for me”. And to paraphrase what society has forced him to say, “Cauliflower is a sometimes food”. If you need more clarification please see the end of #1.

 

#5

What they MUST know:

We  want our foods perfectly organized on our plates . . . not touching.

buffet_plate.jpg

Truth:

This is some myth taught in  a class we males were not included in. If the food isn’t touching that means there is less of it. In fact we like most of our foods to touch as they taste better together. If we go to an all you can eat buffet our plates are layered like lasagna and you may find lasagna under the fried chicken and the fresh yeasty rolls, if the popcorn shrimp isn’t hiding it.

 

#6

What they MUST know:

We  don’t care about what softness of toilet tissue we end up with.

strutting_bird.jpg

Truth:

Just because you can’t see us cry in the bathroom, the one we have been exiled to while using the sandpaper that seems to only be in the exiled bathroom does not, mean we don’t care. Men do not walk the way we do because we have different equipment below the belt line. We are trying not to cause ourselves to cry in public. Now you know where John Travolta got the strut from in Saturday Night Fever.

 

#7

What they MUST know:

We  enjoy practical gifts for every gift occasion.

man_with _hobbes.jpg

 

Truth:

We want toys. I need not go into this one any further.

 

 

#8

What they MUST know:

We  always want monkey SEX.

gazing_into_each_others_eyes.jpg

Truth:

We are not that animalistic . . . all the time. There are those days when we have been thinking about you all day long . . . through the hours of sitting in traffic to get home . . . and we are animalistic, but sometimes we actually prefer the slow moments of the connecting gazes.

 

#9

What they MUST know:

We  ALL know how to fix cars.

bad_mechanic.jpg

Truth:

My father knew better than to let me near a car. He used me as the free tire rotating service growing up. That was my job every few months on a Saturday. I was ‘learning’ how to change a tire. No I was ‘being used’ for free labor. That is about as far as it goes. Yes I can put oil in, and various other fluids, and even change a battery if need be. I am sure if I really had to I could do much more, I am intelligent and can read and follow instructions. But it is not a born with gift.

 

#10

What they MUST know:

We are all the jealous types.

Homey Don't Play That

Truth:

This is a bit serious. There are some ladies that will intentionally draw attention in order to make their Significant One jealous. We know this. Here are the things to keep in mind when doing this. If you have friends that do this, let them know.

1) If you make the wrong Significant One jealous, violence will occur

2) If you want to play that game, some of us will let you play it alone

 

 

Bonus

What they MUST know:

We don’t know how to use the washing machine.

washing_machine_drum_grill.jpg

Truth:

You know guys go to college and do their own laundry and often times end up with a fiance. Then what happens? Marriage and suddenly the wife decides the husband does not know how to wash clothes. Now this is not one I believe there is a complaint about. But I am putting it on the list because it is one of those things women MUST think they know about men.

 

I know much of the above is perhaps just my own opinions and in truth you can even turn some of them around and change the genders, especially with #10. But I accepted the challenge and I put some thought into it. I like to be funny with these lists but I also like there to be truth in each number I give so we can all share and learn. And perhaps even learn we are wrong, both you and me.

Ladies, are there things you think you know and want to know the real deal? Message me here, or if you want go to my About page and use that form, or email me at ronovanwrites@gmail.com, or even DM me on twitter @RonovanWrites. I really do mean it.

 

For next week each day I think will take Florence T up on the second challenge she offered up.

“Or what could be a ‘perfect’ balance between two persons in a relationship..not talking about equality here… ‘balance’! Did I just take the humor out of your post? Oops! :)”-Florence T

 

Much Respect

Ronovan

 

2014 © Copyright-All rights reserved-RonovanWrites.wordpress.com

10 Things Women Need To Know About Men

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I see lists about ‘How to Know Your Man’ and ‘How to Make Your Man Happy in Bed or Anywhere Else’ and I wonder sometimes if even the ones by men are really nom de ploomers for 12 year old girls working for tickets to Judson Beader concerts.

 

Why do I say that?

 

I am so glad you asked. Let me tell you . . .

 

Things Women Need To Know About Men

 

Just remember that these are all based on my own opinions and what I have observed. Which are observations and which are my own personal opinions you will most likely know if you have read my site much. Enjoy and please, don’t kill the writer.

 #10

Men Sulk and Pout

man_face_down_on_couch.jpg

Ladies, I know it is difficult to believe that we men who scream at TVs during sporting events do this but yes . . .  we internalize things. We prefer you think we are insane or mentally deranged rather than discuss it. Pizza . . . Tacos . . . Game Systems . . . Shooting things filled with glow in the dark stuff at night? Sure, but talking–no. We’re not mad at you. We’re not ignoring you. Just let us sulk and we get over it faster. The longer we are talked to and asked about it the longer it takes to get over. Let us pout. Do you really want to hear about the long awful day we had at work? Do you really?

 

 

 #9

Don’t ask Don’t Tell

spaghetti_junction_atlanta.jpg

Ladies, you know those times when you ask us ‘what do you think?’ I’ll be point blank honest here. Perhaps I am honest because I don’t have the degrees for Creative Writing and all of that to tell the truth in a more creative way, just a degree History Education and writing tons of research papers. Or maybe it’s the concussion thing. My one year anniversary is coming up by the way. My imaginary self and I will be eating at an all you can eat Taco and Chinese buffet in No Calorieville. I hope you will join us. But here it is…ready?

If you already know what the answer that  you want is, don’t ask us. We don’t know what to do. Do we be honest, or give you the answer you want? You say be honest . . . but is that ALWAYS true?

Examples:

“Is this shirt too tight?”

 

Okay, the male brain has now seized up as traffic has swarmed in the form of Spaghetti Junction in Atlanta, GA at 5 PM on a Friday before a three day holiday weekend.

 

  • Yes, it’s too tight because it shows off your breasts too much to other people.
  • I love that she has incredible breasts and I am proud she’s mine, eat your heart out boys.
  • She’s asking if she’s gained weight. Oh no, what do I do?
  • She’s asking if she’s gained weight. Do I tell her no because if I say yes then she will think I think she’s put on weight?
  • Man she looks good. How long will it take to get that thing of. (I hope she isn’t wearing a bra, I have no idea how those hooks work.)

 

You may not realize the male mind does this on its own without the participation of the male itself and all in the span of 1.01 seconds. Then the male enters into the picture and uses knowledge and common sense. You read that right. And you wonder why we get in to so much trouble with this one.

 

“Baby, those twins look outrageous. Mmm Mmm Mmm! You fine, girl.”-Either the young guy with no clue or the older over the hill midlife crisis male who is reliving his unsuccessful young guy days.

 

“I like it, but honestly honey, I love your body, and I love the fact men know how great your body is. Men are going to be staring at you enough as it is because of those kill me eyes and that beautiful smile.”-Mature, experienced male with common sense in use. Men, only use this one if you are sincere. Seriously. Customize to fit what you find amazing about the beauty of your woman.

 

“I don’t know, whatever.”-Moron alert and future divorce case.

 

 

 

 #8

No opinion

man_shrugging.jpg

Sometimes we really don’t have an opinion about something, especially if it has nothing to do with us or we just don’t know anything about it. Also there are times we are just that laid back and are like go with the flow. No, we are not always that indecisive . . . we just don’t have an opinion or we just like your opinion. Imagine that, huh? Did I say that out loud? No. Whew, awesome. There is another reason, we’re lazy and just don’t want to think. I’m serious. Even me, the one that is always thinking, I get to that point where I can answer what I want on my sandwich; ham or turkey.

 

 

 

 #7

Sure, Okay & Fine

 

This was is so whatever that I couldn’t even come up with an image for it Guess what? You’ve heard us say those words and you don’t believe us. Well guess what again? Some of us actually mean it. Shocking I know. But rather than speak in sentences with all those parts of speech, we use the efficient one word answer to get back to what we were doing and/or avoid saying something to either a) make you mad or b) causing a lengthier discussion that will eventually lead into our getting into some sort of trouble which would lead to . . .

 

 

 #6

Gifts are NOT for buying Forgiveness

man_giving_roses_and_candy.jpg

We give you flowers, candy, a gift card to Home Depot for supplies for your favorite little homemade fish pond and you think we are trying to buy you off instead of saying we’re sorry. That is our saying we’re sorry. We’re not buying you off, we’re talking. We’ve been trained not to say we’re sorry or show emotions. Emotions are a weakness. Instead we do something else, like buy you something nice to say we’re sorry for spending so much on the credit card bill.

 

 #5

Sometimes we really are staring off into space and not at the server.

woman_pulling_mans_tie.jpg

When we’re out to dinner, we’re not always checking out the server in the required form fitting, skin tight black pants. (I wonder about that at times. Isn’t that like really a bad thing to have as a requirement?) We’re actually sometimes either a) tired and staring off into space not even knowing where we are looking or b) bored at the third time in the last hour you’ve talked about the same thing at work that’s ticked you off. My apologies for that second one, I know we do the same thing, but ladies, you are so much more intelligent than we are, perhaps leading by example would make the old dogs learn new tricks.

Sure we listen, we care, but after 2 or 3 times . . . we get it, you get it, the server in the skin tight black pants gets it. If we reacted indignant at what happened and acted like we were going to do something, you would then tease us or call us an idiot and say that it is only a little thing and you don’t want to cause any problems because it’s a great job. Huh?

 

 #4

We Like Chick flicks.

man_crying.jpg

You read that right. Just don’t ask us about it. Don’t give us a choice. Just say you want to go to that movie Saturday night. We need the excuse. I mean really, at the end of Armageddon when Bruce Willis is saying goodbye to his daughter, didn’t you notice the man in your life tearing up?

 

 

 #3

We Like to Smell Pretty

man_in bubble_bath_happy.jpg

When you go to the store and shop, because you know if you don’t everyone you love will die from hunger because they may have some mental block about like grocery shopping, buy us the nice smelling soaps.  We like to smell good and you like us to smell good. Don’t give us the chance to be macho and go for the unscented, floats in water soap. We’re old enough to be more concerned about smelling nice rather than sinking battleships.

 

 

#2

We Don’t Think About Megan Fox During Sex

ear_plugs.jpg

In the middle of sex, do you want to know what we’re thinking? It all depends on the situation. We are focused on how it feels and either a) praying we don’t end the session early or b) hoping we can keep going with that pain in the back before it ruins the moment.

But I am sure some men do think about things. Like earplugs for those who don’t like the overzealous screamer. There are screamers and then there are fire alarms. Screamers are fine, just saying but a lot of focus goes into those fire alarm moments. I mean really, I appreciate appreciation but well sometimes . . . you know?

So, no, no Megan Fox or anyone else for most of us. We’re just enjoying the feel of things.

 

 

#1

The Final Thing, and the one you’ve been waiting for . . .How to Make Us Happy In Bed.

man_and_woman_cuddling.jpg

How to make us happy in bed? It’s a simple thing really or is it? The idea most things you read about is show up, get naked and the man is happy. Maybe that works for some, but ladies let me clue you in on something. We like the heart behind the happening. A woman could be the worst technical lover to ever exist but can satisfy a man she loves and loves her back because he feels her intent and heart behind it. So it’s not just about showing up and trying to be sexy.

Yeah, I know, if that were true with all men then prostitution wouldn’t be a business. Porn would not be a business. But give me heart and you get me . . . never mind that . . . umm.

 

~~~~~~~~

Now I know that a lot of the above has to do with communication and that some ladies love to communicate and men just don’t and that is a huge problem. I am not condoning or excusing the above, I am just telling you the truth of what is reality. Sure some of us try to do better but failures occur. I like to understand things. Tell me things so I don’t interpret something wrong. I want to learn from whatever is happening. But once I know and you know I know . . . as I said above, don’t blame me for staring at the wall.

Anyway, that’s it for today, my Feature for Female Focus Friday here at RonovanWrites. I love Fridays. For all my Friends that might read this, please tell me what things you think?

And ladies if there are things you would like to know my opinion on . . . let me know. I would love to share . . .  I really would. That would be awesome, and maybe some of your questions will be answered next Friday in a Female Focus Friday Feature.

 

Until next time,

Much Respect and Admiration

Ronovan

 

 

2014 © Copyright-All rights reserved-RonovanWrites.wordpress.com

10 Things Every Writer Needs But Never Thinks About

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10 Things Every Writer Needs But Never Thinks About

by: Ronovan

There are things that every writer needs that they never think about and no one will ever advise them on. Well today I will share with you those secret things that only the most experienced and dedicated writers know about and like to keep to themselves. But don’t tell anyone or my life will be endangered. And with that I give to you the first secret need:

A Fluffy Butt CushionBean Bag Chair Huge
All serious writers must use one of these. Have you ever noticed that groove that forms on your middle finger from writing for so many years, I call it my writer’s mark? That comes from the wearing away of tissue from all that writing. Well imagine what all that writing is doing to your butt. For some of us that might be a good thing, but for others . . . well I can tell you there are some that need to hang onto what the good Lord gave them or they’ll fall right through the potty seat.

 

Clock With Multiple Alarm Settings
Those writers who make words their lives forget about everything else. Now enters the need to schedule everything and set an alarm to it.
• Potty breaks
• Lunch
• Taking a drink of water
• Bathing—If not, then skip the next three
• Sex
• Wedding day—if you actually remember to go on a date
• Dates—Otherwise don’t worry about the previous three
If you are a serious writer then you will also need a portable alarm set for appropriate lengths of time after the Potty Break and Date breaks, and possibly the Wedding Day . . . Honeymoons do not require alarms, as long as they are not over 48 hours long.

NairHairy Back Man
This is for men and women writers. Shaving of anything takes too much time. Nair the hair or go super earthy. Unless you are Alan Moore you will not get away with the Sasquatch look.

 

 

See-Through Shower Door

With your imagination you will never come out of the shower for fear of what is on the other side of the curtain.

 Psycho Shower

Shamwows
You’re a writer, you know why you need this and where you need this, and I’m not talking about geographical location. Men admit it you have Butt Sweats, get the Shamwow. Women . . . I read about . . . Chest(?) Sweats today. (Sorry I just could not type the other word.) (Why is it warm in here now? Should I include a fan on this list?)

Canaries
These are just in case either; a) the alarm clock does not work, or b) you ignore the alarm clock when it alerts you to shower time. If the Canary dies, it’s time for a shower. Miners used these things for a reason.

Dog
As a writer you’ll need someone who will love you no matter what. Cats are too smart and independent to love you just because you offer them a three day old piece of left out pizza. Plus if you smell like roadkill they will NOT come near you. A dog will still think you are the greatest thing ever since . . . that piece of pizza. Then of course they will intentionally lick your face lovingly after licking their butt. Dogs are sneaky little guys.

Dead Potted PlantPlastic Flowers

Why? You need an alarm to tell

you to go Potty and have Sex

and you are asking why

Plastic Flowers?

 

A Clue
See Previous Need.

Ideas
If you are making lists of crazy things such a Canaries and Butt Sweat towels then you really need more ideas to write about.

 

Thus ends THIS list of the 10 Things Every Writer Needs But Never Thinks About. Keep them secret and take them to heart.

Much Respect

Ronovan “Fluffy Cushion” Writes

(I don’t need the cushion. Just saying.)

© Copyright-All rights reserved-RonovanWrites.wordpress.com-June 18, 2014.

The Good Wife: Expectation Vs Reality

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Another hilarious but true take on life by Amanda at Inside the Life of Moi. Thank goodness women blog or men would be bored to tears. Follow her on Twitter as well @AmandaLyle86.