Outlasting?

Man in pain beside poem on right.

Stuck in a rut with no way out.

Opening my mouth but you can’t hear me shout.

Locked here in this world alone with my doubt.

Directions to safety keeps telling me to reroute.

My positivity has been my fingertip of hope.

Lately I’ve been sounding more like a garbage eating billy goat.

I keep slipping and sliding up and down a well traveled slope.

My plans so sabotaged I feel on the verge of a Virginia Woolf note.

The love for life counted down till it came.

And all those blissful imaginings… went up in a flame.

The clock hit zero and that pain I’ve held back…my brain is lame.

My mind limps and stumbles with fatigue and shame.

To change the world takes so much of your light.

You pull yourself up but find you haven’t enough fight.

You claw at limbs to see the white light.

Try as you may you just don’t have the might.

I still hang on to one thin strand.

Feeling the whole time that I wait on grains of sand.

My heart burns and it aches with each weak demand.

When I last close my eyes I hope to be in a new land.

Catching Fire…

“Love is friendship that has caught fire. It is quiet understanding, mutual confidence, sharing and forgiving. It is loyalty through good and bad times. It settles for less than perfection and makes allowances for human weaknesses.” Ann Landers
How did your love begin? If it didn’t start with some level of friendship and has lasted, I think you are fortunate. My personal opinion is like Ann Landers said. Friendship, fire, good, bad, humanity. There you have it.
Would be nice if things were that simple. The truth is when love first enters the picture it’s never simple. Oh, it may appear so, but unless there has been a foundation set, there are going to be some major obstacles at some point.
Remembering no person is perfect is important. We all make mistakes. We say that now, when we think of ourselves with weaknesses, but think about if the other person had a moment of weakness, how forgiving would you be? Think about that as your weaknesses begins to take form. Would you forgive yourself?
 I was looking at that word perfection up there. Have you ever met the perfect person? Were they perfect looking? Did they have the perfect attitude? No? Right. Perfection means a lot of things to a lot of different people. Perhaps perfection is less than what another person things of perfection, or maybe it is greater. I’ve been thinky lately. I thought I would share.

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Love Crutch

What cha playin’ at
Think you’re something worthy but your times up
Times up
Times up
So why don’t you just shut up.

Yeah, I’m talkin’ ’bout you
Holdin’ court like you somebody big and tough
Big ‘n Tough
Big ‘n Tough
You’re nothin’ but a chump.

Why do I keep sinkin’, over a stupid weak in,
my armor?
Do you think I’m
a charmer?

Some people like to lay down and say,
they’re prayin’.
But all they do is
keep payin’.

I don’t want a banker to be my heart taker.
Taker
Taker
Do be a faker.

I want a free thinker, shrinker, a love drinker.
Drinker
Drinker
A love strike sinker.

Why do I keep thinkin, about your ever blinkin’?
Your eyes keep sinkin’.
Borin’ holes into my dreamin’.
A home run knockin’ win.

I’m not one to tell much.
But I keep longing for your touch.
Baby I need you in a clutch.
You’re my love crutch.

Love Crutch Image


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The Magic in Egg Sandwiches.

“It is spring, why is it so cold?” Cora asked.

I pressed against her back and slipped my arms around her shoulders, inhaling all the scents mingling together that were her. “Cora darling, it’s the first week of spring, as in closer to winter than summer. So,” I put my hands on her shoulders and turned her around, “I’m taking advantage of every chilly moment I can.” I kissed her gently. She had lips meant for that. Gentleness, not the macho movie kisses that bruised, although, there were moments for that as well. My eyes flared at the thought of last night.

Her nails softly scratched my shirt, sending electricity through my chest and beyond. “Mhmm. Do I look like I am complaining?” Her eyes almost closed and lips turned up at the corners, she knew I loved that look. I had started something and she meant for me to follow through to the finish.

I laughed and felt the vibrations in my chest. Her fingers increased their pressure. “No, and you would complain if you didn’t like it.”

“You got that right, bub.” Her emphatic nod of the head made her silky hair shimmer and slide across her cheeks. “And you are not complaining either.”

“Never,” I said.

“Even if you hated what I was doing?”

I brushed hair away from her face with my fingers. “Even then . . . maybe . . . well not really.” I smiled.

“Maybe I’m a witch, a wizard, and have you under a spell.” Her hands slid down and around my waist.

“In a way, I guess you are. There’s just some magic in truth and honesty and openness.” I squeezed her to me.

“Yep.” She leaned her head and shoulders back. “Well, honesty with respect thrown in. Like, if you made fun of my fondness for egg sandwiches I might not be so forgiving.”

I nodded. “I would never do that. I like them too. Besides, real magic in relationships means an absence of judgment of others, and that includes an obsession with egg sandwiches.”

“Good.” She rested her cheek against my chest.

“Speaking of egg sandwiches…” My hands began to drift.

“What about them?”

“I’m hungry.”

“Glenn, we just ate.”

“I didn’t say anything about food.”

Cora squealed as my hands stopped drifting.

~~~

Frank Ocean Magic QuoteWayne Dyer Relationship QuoteThis is the second time Cora and Glenn have showed up here on RW. Check out The Fortunate One, where Glenn meets Cora’s family for the first time . . .  and her ex-husband.

Colleen chose Magic for this weeks theme for her week of hosting our Writers Quote Wednesday Writing Challenge.


Amber Wake: Gabriel Falling on Amazon.

Amber Wake: Gabriel Falling Quote Image

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The Fortunate One.

“Men always want to be a woman’s first love – women like to be a man’s last romance.”
Oscar Wilde
Irish playwright, novelist, essayist, and poet.
October 16, 1854-November 30, 1900

When I arrived, a dream came true. Sunlight danced in her hair, made her skin glow, and all the world combined to make my heart beat faster.

We talked over each other in the excitement of our uniting. There were no angry glances or raised voices attempting to rise over the other. Our tones relayed the truth, words did not matter, we were ecstatic. It was euphoria; at least it was for me. Light headed, walking on a cushion of air, unable to stop smiling, you name all those cliché possibilities, and they were true. Why do you think they are so cliché? It is because they are real.

Was it love at first sight? No, but it was love at first shared thought. Now, there we were, at her doorstep, Christmas Day.

“It will be fine. I promise. They don’t like any man at first.”

I smiled. “You’ve told me that or something like that, a hundred times. I think your first choice has tainted their opinions. That or they just don’t trust your judgement.”

“Okay, perhaps. Just do not worry.” She placed her hand on my chest, leaned in, and smiled up at me.

I raised my brows in mock shock at her affections. “Nope, no kisses. You know they are watching through curtains and blinds all over the house.”

“I know. They will get over it. Now kiss me or I will pout.” She stuck her lower lip out, a fail of a pout that never worked, but I loved her attempts. She knew it. She knew I wouldn’t resist that bottom lip.

Moments of electric sensations sparking through the body later, and she opened door. That’s just the frame of mind I wanted to be in when meeting her family for the first time.

I could only shake my head at that point and avoid looking down to watch her walk in. I was being as gentlemanly as I could, but I was still a red-blooded American male in love with a beautiful mind and beautiful body.

“Glenn, these are my parents.”

“Mister Allen. Mrs. Allen.” I shook both hands. “Ma’am, this is for you.”

Cora’s mother looked surprised. “Me?” Her surprise did not stop her from taking the small gift I slipped from my pocket. Cora gave me an odd look as I shook hands with her brother, who made certain I knew he would kill me if I hurt his sister. I hoped I squeezed back hard enough to make a good impression.

“Oh dear,” Mrs. Allen said. She held one hand to her chest. “It is beautiful.”

I smiled at the joy and surprise on her face. “I thought you might put a photo of each child and grandchild in the frames. There are enough for all of them. Of course, they would need tiny photos for a bracelet.”

“Buying your way in are you?” A loud voice rose broke the moment.

I thought Cora’s head would snap off she turned it so fast.

“Gary, what are you doing here?”

“How nice, I think I can visit my children on Christmas Day.”

You guessed it, Cora’s ex-husband.

“You know that’s not what I meant.”

“Whatever, Cor. So this is the guy, is it?”

“Hello. I’m Glenn Taylor.” I extended my hand to be friendly.

“I know who you are.” He took my hand and made a feeble attempt that would have made Cora’s brother laugh.

He broke away and glared. I had never experienced a glare before. It was kind of funny and I had to smile. I don’t think he liked that. “You bring one of us a present, you must bring them for all, or you appear rude,” he said a bit too loudly.

“Sorry, they wouldn’t let me bring the coal on the plane.”

Laughs were muffled and some not. Their daughter’s giggle came out before she could bring her hand up to hold it in.

Gary’s eyes grew uglier. “Funny boy are you?”

“Only when they laugh, otherwise it’s just awkward pauses.”

“Think you’re a big man because you’re with her now, don’t you?”

I glanced down at Cora. The anger was barely contained. She was ready to unload on him at any moment. I looked back to Gary. “Actually, yes I do. I know how lucky I am.”

He laughed, and it wasn’t a pleasant sound. “I got lucky with her first.”

I pulled Cora to me a little tighter as I felt her move. “You were luckier than you could imagine. You are also a bigger idiot than any man could ever possibly try to be.”

“You son—“

“Don’t.” John, Cora’s brother, stepped in front of Gary.

“You gave this up. You messed a good thing up. You never would admit what she was, how important she was, or even that she existed as a unique individual that you needed in order to be whom you became.”

Cora looked up at me. I smiled and felt her ease beneath my touch.

I looked back at Gary. “Yes, you were lucky first. The important thing is that I’m fortunate last, and will be for the rest of my life.”

Oscar Wilde Romance Quote~~~

Thanks for reading!

This is part of the all new Writer’s Quote Wednesday Writing Challenge co-hosted by Colleen Chesebro of SilverThreading.com and ME, Ronovan. Click HERE for more links to those entering and to see how easy it is yourself. It’s not only writing a short story. That was just my choice this week. A quote, poetry, haiku, story, and more!


Click HERE to get my Adventure novel on Amazon!

Amber Wake

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HAS REALITY DAWNED FOR YOU?

Today may be a message you want to skip here on Ronovan Writes. It won’t be a pretty message. This is almost a rant but not really. It’s more of a self-realization and determination I’ve discovered as I witness actions in others. Now, don’t think that any of this is judging or anything like that. I’m speaking to this based on a personal level. But it’s something that almost hit me between the eyes with a clarity I’ve never seen before about the subject.

We are all alone at some point. We feel as though no one loves us and we wonder HAS REALITY DAWNED FOR YOU?why it is even worth attempting love. I’ve been there. My journals are filled with it. FILLED! I know the heavy feeling of the body when you are so low and your heart literally aches. If you’ve never felt heart ache, you’ve never been truly and desperately in need of love or been so broken because of it. Your body, your chest, your heart feels as though it is being squeezed and trying to expand out of your chest at the same time.

A mournful soul wailing in the night from some distant bedroom behind darkened windows takes on a meaning to you when reading it in a book like never before. Tears come to your eyes and you feel as though you’ve read the most beautiful thing in life.

And every moment you feel alone. There is no love for you. There is no caring, no warmth. No tender and loving touch.

The next morning you get up and hurriedly get yourself ready for the day, so you can then get your children ready for school.

You barely make it through your day, putting on fake smiles and pretend laughs only to arrive home to begin your ritual of loneliness again, once the children have gone to do their own things in their rooms.

This goes on for years. And then one day a reality dawns.

Now for me a reality dawned.

I am fortunate in many ways. You all know of my boy “B”. But you also know of my blog, my writing, my LitWorldInterviews site, and even my debut novel coming out. I have great friends that came together in my time of need for a laptop to keep my sanity and my lifeline going to all of you.

The dawning to me didn’t occur until now. It didn’t have to. It just happened. Maybe you’ve picked up on what the dawning is.

But for others they don’t realize what they have. People go through those feelings described above every day, wanting someone. For some they have children and never give a thought that they are loved, they have those people to love them, to have fun with, to enjoy life with.

People foolishly fall victim to the idea of must having a romantic partner in life to be complete. None of us are promised a partner. We have our lives, our abilities, and our imaginations.

To be happy in regards to companionship we have those around us; our family, our friends, and if we are in a situation of no longer having a partner or in that all too commonality of emotionally detached partner, then we may have children. Love those children and enjoy them. Do not be selfish and deny them your 100% enjoyment.

We don’t realize how aware children are these days. They notice everything because they are shown everything in so many forms. They know what facial expressions, body language, and even excuses really mean.

We can do a great deal of damage to our children by living and dwelling in a personal emotional space of constant want. We are the role models for our children, or we hope we are. Look at who and what you are, the space your mind is in and ask yourself if you want your child to be like that?

Yes, I know there are some with true concerns that need help, professional help, but I think most of you realize I am speaking about the rest of us who can overcome these moments and situations on our own.

You don’t need a romantic partner. That’s a myth. A very nice myth. A romance that happens is something for people who are in them. That does not mean they are in a situation that is better than a person who is not in a romance. You could probably ask a lot of people who are single again and they will tell you that they enjoy the single life a lot more. Some might say romance is better.

Love your kids, your friends, and your family. Don’t worry about romance. If it is meant to be and it happens, then that is a situation you will discover you either enjoy or not. A romance is a lot of work in order to make it a strong and lasting one. Even those that seem perfect to everyone else, they need a lot of behind the scenes work.

If you are someone waiting on someone else, even a specific someone, and that someone doesn’t seem to be waiting for you . . . think hard about enjoying what you do have. Sometimes what you have is the most precious thing you could ever have. Learn to smile and to love in you.


Ron_LWIRonovan is an author, and blogger who shares his life as an amnesiac and Chronic Pain sufferer through his blog RonovanWrites.WordPress.com. His love of poetry, authors and community through his online world has lead to a growing Weekly Haiku Challenge and the creation of a site dedicated to book reviews, interviews and author resources known as LitWorldInterviews.WordPress.com.

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Sands of Our Lives

 

poem-sands-of-our-lives

 

Think to yourself, do you know what I’m asking
Do I give you your dreams, through your rose colored eyes
Clearing your mind, with each breath that you’re taking
Can you break with a smile, through the sands of our lives

 
Hearts are breaking, in distant worlds of wonder
Why does it have to be, though for years it has been
Shaking the hold, with a moment of thunder
Can you see the days, know you always will win

 
Temporary moments of silence and solo
Does it matter if quiet rules over the day
What does it matter as long as we both know
We’re going together in the same along way

 
I want the minutes to pass like lightning
With seconds non-existent in time of the realm
Reality breaks me into pieces somewhat frightening
But I pull myself up nothing to me overwhelm

 
You may miss the every second of every moment
When I fall down and cannot get up to stand
But don’t worry about me breaking I’m only gently bent
I’m fine as long as there is a glimmer, a hint, a strand

 
Hope is the future of a wasted past’s happenings
Future is the hope of a today’s receding sands of the shore
Never give up on me as I ramble in blatherings
I’ll be here and there through the music of our hearts’ beat score

 

Much Love, Much Respect

Ronovan

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To your whim. (A Poem)

Desire falls to whim

In a heart’s beat symphony

I am all with you.

Let’s connect.

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An Ode to you

There are moments of peace that spread through space and time as if the finger of destiny were in control.
Sounds swirl around in a chaotic symphony to create a web of melody to nest and harbor ones soul.
For some this eye of the storm may be a calm achieved in a place of choosing and alone.
Me, I, can only attain this much desired anomaly in time and space by looking outside me to a crone.

 

 

Alone in a dark room with the sounds echoing from one wall to another and another and yet another,
I find that my only hope for survival is to rely on someone so dear whom I fear I might smother.
My irrational mind asks questions of ruin and brings images of disaster and torment.
There is never a moment, even when in happiness, I do not realize I am a fragment.

 

 

Rather a fragment than nothing at all, yet where does this peace come from that I began about?
How can peace be attained when there is a shattering of the very bones that make me cry out?
How?ron_fragment
Because you say you love me.

 

 

Ronovan

 

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I love . . . no regrets.

I love.

Magnolia Blossom.jpg
gettyimages © Original Photo by Diane MacDonald

Two little words of forever

Wrapped within walls so clever

Longing to be opened by your yes to sever

 

I love.

More than feelings of  a foolish mind

Thoughts shared of  a similar kind

Ignoring obstacles to enjoy the togetherness you find

 

I love.

Painful moments of distance felt

A smile of an image that pain it does melt

Mattering not in what realm that image does dwelt

 

I love.

More than feelings of skin on skin

Thoughts shared intertwining in more than sin

Ignoring obstacles just to hold the presence of you within

 

I love.

You have not found it yet

I say to you, you’ve met it I bet

Merely consider what it is you are willing to let

 

Four last words.

 

I love.

 

No regrets.

 

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My Load

“My Load”

I do not say things,

In order to burden you,

I must deny me.

atlas_fountain_haiku

 

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Moments are Worth

Ron Overlook 2

There are delicate moments in time

They are fragile in their forming

And in their care

We carelessly disregard their existence

 

What happens when your moments are shattered

When they are taken and broken and battered

When you have none to even hold onto

When cracks are formed for them to escape through

 

We take our precious pieces for granted

Never giving them a second thought

We rely on them to be there

But one day an attempt to find might be for naught

 

Have I loved

Do I have friends

Do I have someone who loved me

Will they find me in the end

 

What if they don’t reach out

What if I continue to drift

I will never even know

What pieces I have missed

 

Moments are worth remembering if they are worth having

Take heed of what you do with them

For in a  split second of time

You just might lose . . .

 

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Bodies Another

 

 

Hearts pound heavily

In the night touching and spent

gettyimages_Meng Yiren _Moment_hands_intwined_in_bedCraving another

 

 

 

 

Image Credit:gettyimages© Original Photo by Meng Yiren/Moment

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He said she said….

Nishi is really expanding on her writing and blogging style. That ‘My Best Friend’ about broke my heart, and now she nails the man woman relationship in the technological age.
You have to check it out and let her know how great she’s doing. 🙂 Although I don’t need any further writing competition around here. Never mind!

The Showcase

ncEEbbacA.jpeg (500×359)

“Hey, what are you doing?” he asked

“Cooking” she said

“Are you watching that show on your iPad?”

“Hmm.. yes” she said

“Why cant you just do one thing at a time?”

“Because I CAN do both” she said

“Whatever” he said dismissively

“What are you doing?” she asked

“Working” he said

“And your headphones?”she asked

“What about them?

“They’re in your ear”

“Im listening to music” he said

“Let me see… and Facebooks open..”she said peering into the laptop screen

“Yea, so?”

“I rest my case”

Word of Warning: Never text and drive.

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Balloons – The Art Of Letting Go

I’ve been Reblogging some of Amanda’s best articles while she’s been on vacation. Best to me from her means funny. One thing about funny people is that they are funny because they are really also sensitive and deep people. I TRY to be funny, but fall flat most of the time.
This is an article that shows Amanda is more than a punch line or laugh track. This great advice. I’m serious. You really do need to read this one.

Candy Freaken Crush!

Here is a missed gem from @AmandaLyle86. Who would think she would be a Candy Crush Widow? There must be an eclipse of Mars or something somewhere. Just saying.

Monster-in-Law

Oh Lord, please don’t tell Amanda I reblogged this one. She tells it like it is about her ummm “Monster”-in-law, her words not mine. I bet some of us can relate. @AmandaLyle86

The Curious Case Of The Man Flu

Yes, I greatly dislike it when she’s right. I almost didn’t share this one with everyone, but grrr…..why am I so honest sometimes? And she makes me LAUGH!!!!! Men don’t take away my man card for sharing this one.  Remember to follow her on Twitter as well

@AmandaLyle86

The Good Wife: Expectation Vs Reality

Another hilarious but true take on life by Amanda at Inside the Life of Moi. Thank goodness women blog or men would be bored to tears. Follow her on Twitter as well @AmandaLyle86.