Outlasting?

Man in pain beside poem on right.

Stuck in a rut with no way out.

Opening my mouth but you can’t hear me shout.

Locked here in this world alone with my doubt.

Directions to safety keeps telling me to reroute.

My positivity has been my fingertip of hope.

Lately I’ve been sounding more like a garbage eating billy goat.

I keep slipping and sliding up and down a well traveled slope.

My plans so sabotaged I feel on the verge of a Virginia Woolf note.

The love for life counted down till it came.

And all those blissful imaginings… went up in a flame.

The clock hit zero and that pain I’ve held back…my brain is lame.

My mind limps and stumbles with fatigue and shame.

To change the world takes so much of your light.

You pull yourself up but find you haven’t enough fight.

You claw at limbs to see the white light.

Try as you may you just don’t have the might.

I still hang on to one thin strand.

Feeling the whole time that I wait on grains of sand.

My heart burns and it aches with each weak demand.

When I last close my eyes I hope to be in a new land.

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I Begin to Fail

Stars fail to break through the clouds

The blanketing darkness suffocates

Heat grabs at my flesh

As I race through night to escape

 

Sounds follow as if unafraid

What is there plan for this time

My legs begin to fail

As the stumbling brings forth reality

 

Why did I bother ever running

This body can no longer do such

With each increasing crackling sound

I am reminded of my failing too much

ron_dark_1

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

There it is finally capturing me

I feel the fingers on my spine

Time has run out

My body stiffens as the searing begins

 

The fingers burn deeply within

Carving and severing bone

Ribbons of pain flow outward

Sucking the air from my depressed lungs

 

I succumb as I do each time

Never able to outrun this pain giver beast

This body depleting reaper

That creeps through my every piece

 

 

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No One Can Understand

No One Can Understand

Cavan Images-Photonica

It’s my life to break, and I know what I can take

Too much every day, but I can’t seem to run away

I should know by now, there must be another way somehow

But I’m just the same, and I’ll always be to blame

 

I’m hopeless, hopeless for love,

No one can understand

What makes me this man

 

It always seems, that love is just a dream

No one can see me through, cause of the things that I do

Players play, and the bad boys are the way

But I don’t know the games, I just get burned by the flames

Why don’t I change, because this world seems so strange

 

I’m hopeless, hopeless for love

No one can understand

What make me this man

 

I walk the line, coming back time after time

No matter what the pain, no matter it drives me insane

They say loves not what I think, just pour up a drink

But I know what I know, and I just can’t seem to let go

 

I’m hopeless, hopeless for love

What makes me this man

I’m hopeless, love is in my sight

What makes me this man

I hold love with all my might

I’m hopeless

Hopeless for love

Yeah, I’m hopeless for love

 (If you are thinking these seem like song lyrics, well if you know the song Dead or Alive by Bon Jovi get the tune in your head and read it again.)

 

 

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My Soul Bleeds

My Soul Bleeds

 

These eyes see tragediesCover _Red
Falling lives in every direction
Hopes and dreams denied
Their pains added to my collection

Why do I feel so much
My chest expands to fill space
Anguish rips to shreds
Tears streak this pale face

I care too much
Wanting to be all things to all
Wishing for nothing
I teeter atop the heap knowing I will fall

The fall is inevitable
The mistakes come and I cannot save
My heart is worn through
My soul bleeds from the last joys rays

 

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