Chaos.

There are so many things, that I cannot see what they mean.

Never knew it was temporary, fool be me.

Reality hits but doesn’t hurt until I feel it.

Making waves is not an occupation but a final destination.

Given a blank check to the heart’s infatuations, to bad the date was an expiration.

My confusion is not an exaggeration.

No longer breathing now I’m alone, can’t scratch the surface of the undertow.

Stories go to the end, but the book never closed.

My words are senseless unless you know.

 

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© 2014-2023-  Ronovan Hester Copyright reserved. The author asserts his moral and legal rights over this work.

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Seeds of Discontent – Poem. Haiku.

Seeds of Discontent

the forbidden fruit

the apple of every eye

picked but not savored

his is my entry for this weeks Haiku Poetry Challenge APPLE and Pick.

There are details in the prompt on how to write a Haiku.

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© 2014-2022-  Ronovan Hester Copyright reserved. The author asserts his moral and legal rights over this work.

Sighing Blooms (Throwback Thursday-My very first Haiku Ever)

Ron Overlook 2

The broken heart sighs

The wind aids vanquishing time

Growing the flower bloom

Baby, I bleed you.

I say I believe you
You believe me too
I am a liar
A
Petrifier

You’ve done left me
I can’t leave you
Hangin’ on doorsteps
Dreamin’ of when we met
I can’t
Forget
You need too

Why oh why, why oh why
Why oh why, do I need you
Why oh why, why oh why
Why oh why, baby, I bleed you
Why oh why, why oh why
Why oh why, do I need you
Why oh why, why oh why
Why oh why, baby, I bleed you

Fakin’ on Sundays
Prayin’ for me days
I can’t say
It’s
Okay

Sweatin’ like July
Wonderin’ Lord oh why
Does this pain
Keep, thrillin’ me
I want it
It to be
You’re forgettin’ me

Why oh why, why oh why
Why oh why, do I need you
Why oh why, why oh why
Why oh why, baby, I bleed you
Why oh why, why oh why
Why oh why, do I need you
Why oh why, why oh why
Why oh why, baby, I bleed you

 

 

I found this scheduled for today. I don’t remember writing it but I looked and found it on my computer from about a week ago and must have put it here and scheduled it. Not my usual though. Amnesia and short term memory problems can really be a bear sometimes and freak you out.

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© Copyright-All rights reserved by ronovanwrites.wordpress.com 2015

Pure and Evergreen.

I wrote you letters on your doorstep in late December
Painted through thoughts pure and evergreen

Never knew they would be so briefly held to matter
Why are they memories that won’t escape me

You don’t want to know me

Do you even care
Are you even aware
Do you ever remember loving me

Does your mind dare
Does it go there
Does it ever remember knowing me

I spelled your name in the sky through my bedroom window
Never will I be able to look that way again

I try to write a letter so you will remember
Tears blur the words until I can’t see

My heart burns so
My chest tightens to know
Please, oh please come crucify me

Loving you is a matter of a contradiction
Do you know what that means

Please, oh please you crucify me

 
 

 
 

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© Copyright-All rights reserved by ronovanwrites.wordpress.com 2015

Toward Heartbreak (Poetry)

haiku-ronovan-writes

I write this in response to another Haiku this week as I said there was a challenge of sorts there. Even though that person displayed a desire to search for feelings to move a dark soul, I know of that feeling and even though it may lead to disaster at times, it is still worth the search and the destruction.

haiku love

I wait a heartbreak,

It is inevitable

I move toward love.

 

kate-needs-help

 

 

 

 

 @RonovanWrites

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Dying More Every Day

I feel my lips 
Upon
Your
Skin

Though you tell me
It’s
A
Sin

My heart keeps me
Going
There

My hands impassioned
In
Your
Hair

 

I can’t
Fight this
I don’t want to

You’re my
Heart beat
That brings me through

 

I feel your sighs
Within
My
Ear

Causing tremblings
That
You
Fear

Desires keep finding
Their
Way
Through

All my thoughts
Consumed
By
You

 

Don’t fight
Give in
We’re meant to be

Don’t my
Last breaths
Tell you what you are to me

 

I feel my lips
Upon
Your
Skin

My dreams
Keep drawing
Me
In

 

How can
You live
Without me

As I
Lie here
Dying more every day

dying more everyday poem

Without you

 

Your lips upon my skin . . .

 

 

 

Ronovan

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© Copyright-All rights reserved by ronovanwrites.wordpress.com 2014

Remnants

remanants_haiku_ronovan.jpg

I hunt through these cracks

For remnants of a lost dream

Search the wind that tears.

 

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© Copyright-All rights reserved by ronovanwrites.wordpress.com 2014

Dream Helper . . .

Losing time for no reason other than pain riddled life
Why have I been given this disease of grief and strife
Have I been punished for a life I don’t know of
Is the enemy torturing me so I deny that from above

Weathered bones and depleted nerves
I wander through the days wondering what this life serves
Pushing my cart of rotting dreams gone bad
Longing for things that I wish I had

The lightning strikes through skull and soul
I lie awake nights as the time slowly takes its toll
I arise each day to be the happy one
As I dread the appearance of the dawn breaking sun

But who will be the one to carry on the days cheer
If I am the one that decides to no longer be here
Yes, I am at times lower than the low
But I know I must pick myself up and continue to go

I am the encourager, the uplifter these are my gifts
My goal each day is to keep people on the path of dreams, no drifts
I have thought my life goal was to share my words to the extreme
But now as I write I know I am here to help you with your dream

dream_helper

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© Copyright-All rights reserved by ronovanwrites.wordpress.com 2014

What am I?

There are things I can’t describe even with my words.

I see in my mind these thoughts that are distant that I want.

I can’t quite reach them but I know they need to be had.

They are like a wisp of mist as I almost touch them.

 

questions2

 

Why can’t they be tangible?

I can see them and know what they are.

I want them.

Why can they not just be?

 

Frustrations churn in my brain.

People wonder why I seem to be going insane.

I want to scream but then what would happen?

I would prove them right, that I am no longer capable of existing.

 

I simply want those thoughts, or are they dreams?

Am I dreaming these things that I see in my mind?questions1

How can one tell what is real and what is not?

I want to know reality.

 

But what if reality is so bad I cannot bear it?

What if the dream is protecting me from something?

What if I don’t need to know the truth?

Are there people letting me live a lie?

 

Questions3

 

What am I?

Am I really here and in this place?

Am I a make believe part of a fantasy of my own mind?

What if I never woke up that day?

 

What if this isn’t even happening?

 

 

LMP

2014 © Copyright-All rights reserved by ronovanwrites.wordpress.com

 

Shattered pieces.

Words can’t escape from my head.shattered_pieces

Sometimes I think it might be better off dead.

It doesn’t considerate much at all.

I tend to blame it all . . . on the fall.

 

Maybe I’m just a bit naive.

Or perhaps I simply self deceive.

Round and round the matters flow.

But doesn’t matter where they all go?

 

I’m terrified of a sound.

Shadows follow me all around.

Wherever I go there they are.

Is there such a place as too far?

 

Tempered thoughts slash to the core.

They remind of things that were no more.

Angry letters in a row.

All I really ever can do is put on a picture show.

 

It’s much too late for sorry now.

The deed I’ve done has been written down.

Damaged cells in my mind.

Added to the others so easy to find.

 

It’s easy to forget, when you have no need for a net. Then you fall you shatter to pieces, because your guard was let down and your defense ceases.

 

Ronovan

2014 © Copyright-All rights reserved by ronovanwrites.wordpress.com

These Hells

The feeding frenzy begins, as the dark brick wall spins

 

Spiral clouds filled with angel light, laughing tease my denying sight

 

No one ever said life would be fun, but then again no one said demons would overrun

 

My mind feeds on the dark things, it hunts and pecks until torment springs

 

I watch from the corner as it takes hold, shivering in despair as if it were winter time cold

 

Is there a way to break free from this pain filled cell, or am I forever bound to my skull shaped hell

 

Do not try or attempt to placate me to a smile, all you will bring is darkness and bile

 

A cheerful soul you can not produce, all you do is cause to make my hold more loose

 

The waves of this tormented ride, are the path of a coaster not to be denied

 

All I do is float out among the swells, and hope for my sake . . . to reach the other side . . . of These Hells

skull

 

 

LMP

2014 © Copyright-All rights reserved by ronovanwrites.wordpress.com

 

Never worry no more.

Normally I wait until after a piece to tell you the inspiration. Not this time. Fibromyalgia is bad. It can hurt so much you feel like you are going insane. Every emotion is magnified to an incredible level. Therefore depression can be bad, very bad. When you read this, it’s a Bluesy or Soul sounding thing, slow, pausing at the end of each line. I guess you could think of some of Alicia Keys work. I think you will get  feel for it maybe, or you can just read it like a poem. Depression and a brutal broken heart can feel the same way. I’m there tonight.

cropped-black-sight.jpg

 

My heart’s still poundin’ though you’re gone

It never really mattered what was wrong

I only wanted to be with you  for so long

And that was to be forever ever and ever and ever

 

But now I sit her all alone

Darkness closes in on me in my fears

Never have I been so filled with so so many tears

Now I can’t see anything through the bleary eyes of  what you’ve done

 

Oh Oh Oh Oh I’m never gonna forgive you this pain

You drove the stake through very vein

Why Why Why Why did you even even even . . . learn my name

But I only have myself to blame

 

There are ways to forget

There are ways I have left yet

There no reasons for regret

I’m just going to gamble on a bet

 

Never Never Never Never oh never call me again

Tear drops falling like a tornado filled with rain

Simple truths are simply made up lies

You fooled me once  and twice and more with those eyes

 

Oh baby just let me die.

Oh Oh Oh Oh I hate this time ever came to me

Why did you even ever have to be

Now I follow a path to eternity

 

Kill me once kill me twice and maybe I will forget

Oh baby you always knew just where to hit

You cut me with those words like a blade

Go ahead and cover my body with that old rusty spade

 

There are ways to forget

There are ways I have left yet

There no reasons for regret

I’m just going to gamble on a bet

 

Now I can rest and never worry no more

 

LMP

2014 © Copyright-All rights reserved by ronovanwrites.wordpress.com

Careless Whispers . . . (No Regrets)

Why do we love us?CarelessWhisper

What reason is there for it?

Never have we ever met.

No reasons for–a–regret.

 

Thoughtless careless whispers,

Float through our minds every way.

We try to stop them, or so we say.

But do we really…want them to stay.

 

Careless whispers…floating through my brain.

No…regrets…rejected for what I say.

Careless whispers…jagged cutting through my brain.

No…regrets…enjoying every pain.

 

Souls mingle through electronic vines,

Sampling the secrets of unwanted minds.

Capturing language bodies cannot hear,

Through breaking down walls of thickening fear.

 

We wonder if miracles can happen in this day,

Only ever thinking of what others have to say.

Slap the taste…from your mouth,

And listen here…having no doubt.

 

Careless whispers…floating through my brain.

No…regrets…rejected for what I say.

Careless whispers…jagged cutting through my brain.

No…regrets…enjoying every pain.

 

Do you think that we were ever mean to be be somebody,

Somebody else in this world of processed displays?

Are we what we were mean to be,

Or is there something more over the sea?

 

Careless whispers…floating through my brain.

No…regrets…rejected for what I say.

Careless whispers…jagged cutting through my brain.

No…regrets…enjoying every pain.

 

Careless whispers…jagged cutting through my brain.

No…regrets…enjoying every pain.

 

Inspiration: The music in my head is slightly inspired off of the just released U2 album Songs of Innocence. The very first track is called The Miracle (Of Joey Ramone). My tempo is a bit different and this doesn’t carry all the way through but that’s basically the inspiration. Some may ask is this inspired by a person. No, other than no regrets at meeting people and knowing people as we walk through life. That being said, all poetry is inspired.

 

ron_bloglovin2

 

2014 © Copyright-All rights reserved by ronovanwrites.wordpress.com

Woman #1

A simple poem with a simple message.
Much Respect
Ronovan

“Questions of Peace and Hope”-A poem

My poem for the day on Embracing a Wounded Soul. A lot of questions. Do you know the answers?
Ronovan

The Lost Minded Heart

The Lost Minded Heart

by: Ronovan

 

Depressed Man in Dark Room
gettyimages © Original Photo by Michael H

Oh this mind I have.

It seeks to tear itself from my skull,

And scatter its sanity across the wind.

It denies me all things that I crave.

Long sequenced words to form thoughts,

Escape behind a mesh door, seen but unattainable.

This mind knows it is a piercing pain of storm and fury.

How I hate it.

It laughs and runs and races and calls and shouts and screams and twists.

Do I mind?

Ha! What mind do I have to mind with?

But how does one without a mind each day continue on?

How does the mindless give, how does it give hope?

How does the less minded give encouragement?

 

The Lost Mind still has heart.

 

2014 © Copyright-All rights reserved-RonovanWrites.wordpress.com

Lost: Death of a Creative Mind

Depressed Man in Dark Room
gettyimages © Original Photo by Michael H

 

 

Why did you do it

Take my mind away

I can’t even maintain focus

Fore even one day

 

You drove the lightning

Deep into my brain

My creations out of my reach

Slowly driving me insane

 

I once could write with ease

The thoughts were defined with clarity

You took it and shook it

Now my mind reads with jealousy

 

Short words in short rhymes

Are all I can manage

Because of the pain

Of this body with damage

 

I had a thought

It came yesterday

Then I fell asleep

That’s when you took it away

 

Don’t worry, no Sir

This is not me making a complaint

It’s not casting blame

It’s just me losing my restraint

 

I’ll be okay tomorrow

After the sun rises

When the moon is gone

My world is full of surprises…again

 

2014 © Copyright-All rights reserved-RonovanWrites.wordpress.com

Electrocution of the Lost Mind

Electricity Tesla

Electrocution of the Lost Mind

 

Electricity split his skull, into a cobweb of blue and white.

His eyes glowed in their sockets, but all only visible to his inner sight

 

Everyone looked at him as if he were an invalid, mad, or  insane.

Their eyes held pity, but there actions spoke shouting into his brain.

 

His darkness crept around him, from inside to the out.

Then whenever his brain exploded, no one heard him shout.

 

Faintly prancing little feet dancing into his way.

Dainty little  jade green eyes saying more than anyone could say.

 

Reality would never stay in his land for long.

In truth if it did he would forever say it was wrong.

 

Peace and quiet were to far and fleeting gone.

If he ever thought to rest, his mind would slip out in a yawn.

 

 

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No One Can Understand

No One Can Understand

Cavan Images-Photonica

It’s my life to break, and I know what I can take

Too much every day, but I can’t seem to run away

I should know by now, there must be another way somehow

But I’m just the same, and I’ll always be to blame

 

I’m hopeless, hopeless for love,

No one can understand

What makes me this man

 

It always seems, that love is just a dream

No one can see me through, cause of the things that I do

Players play, and the bad boys are the way

But I don’t know the games, I just get burned by the flames

Why don’t I change, because this world seems so strange

 

I’m hopeless, hopeless for love

No one can understand

What make me this man

 

I walk the line, coming back time after time

No matter what the pain, no matter it drives me insane

They say loves not what I think, just pour up a drink

But I know what I know, and I just can’t seem to let go

 

I’m hopeless, hopeless for love

What makes me this man

I’m hopeless, love is in my sight

What makes me this man

I hold love with all my might

I’m hopeless

Hopeless for love

Yeah, I’m hopeless for love

 (If you are thinking these seem like song lyrics, well if you know the song Dead or Alive by Bon Jovi get the tune in your head and read it again.)

 

 

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