Round the heart love spins,
Like a swirling pool of bliss,
The water drains deep.
For my challenge this week.
Round the heart love spins,
Like a swirling pool of bliss,
The water drains deep.
For my challenge this week.
I wrote you letters on your doorstep in late December
Painted through thoughts pure and evergreen
Never knew they would be so briefly held to matter
Why are they memories that won’t escape me
You don’t want to know me
Do you even care
Are you even aware
Do you ever remember loving me
Does your mind dare
Does it go there
Does it ever remember knowing me
I spelled your name in the sky through my bedroom window
Never will I be able to look that way again
I try to write a letter so you will remember
Tears blur the words until I can’t see
My heart burns so
My chest tightens to know
Please, oh please come crucify me
Loving you is a matter of a contradiction
Do you know what that means
Please, oh please you crucify me
© Copyright-All rights reserved by ronovanwrites.wordpress.com 2015
1000 Voices Speak for Compassion.
As I write this it’s the 19th and something nagged at me the 20th was a date I should know. I logged on to facebook and saw a 1000 Voices for Compassion update. It’s a group for bloggers that I think the name of speaks for itself. Now here I am writing. Good thing I joined the group at some point. Not sure when, but I did.
People forget all the time. People instantly think of Alzheimer’s patients when you start talking about memory problems. We’ve learned to have compassion for them.
But there are other reasons people forget. You have accidents that result in concussions, brain damage, and that can be a problem.
Have you ever wondered about people with amnesia? Have you ever wondered what it’s like to be an adult and not know 40 years worth of memories, people, history? Have you ever wondered how to deal with people like that? Probably not.
Let’s play pretend.
You look completely healthy. Actually you look healthier than before your accident. People look at you and have no clue anything is wrong. You might have to ask one of the simplest things you should know and people will think you are joking.
The responses range from a laugh and answer, to a curse and walking off. All you want to know is where the cooking oil is or which aisle the peanut butter is on.
Imagine if you will, walking in to a store and each time it is a brand new store, no matter how many times you walk in to the store. As far as you know have never been in that store.
Okay, let’s change that. Let’s say you wake up and you don’t know where you are. You look beside you and see a notebook that is opened to a page that says ‘Read Me’. Reading you now know your name, where you are, what is wrong with you, and how to find the restroom in the house because there is a hand drawn map on one of the pages you are told to read.
Imagine that is you every morning because not only do you have amnesia but you have short term memory problems as well.
Then you have to deal with people being mean to you. You are nice to everyone. You even cover your being afraid by joking with the cashier while the 70 year-old woman who drives you places is paying for the groceries.
Now imagine people you know, who talk to you each day, wanting you to be the exact person you were before. But you can’t. You don’t know how you became the person you were before. You want to be that person for those people and you search and search and you try to remember but the keys can’t be found.
Imagine the lack of understanding you have to deal with, even when told by the people they understand. Yes, you understand how the other people are frustrated because you can’t be the same. But what can you do about it? Can you make yourself remember and be the same? I guess that’s where the compassion comes in. Imagine the guilt you would have for not remembering. Imagine how you would see these people sad and looking at you to make things better and can’t. Imagine how the insides of you, the amnesiac are ripped apart each time that look is given, that word is said. Imagine how difficult it is for you to even face those situations that will rip them apart. Imagine the depression you would go through. Imagine how you would want it all to end.
All the things of your life that made you who you were and be the way you were and love the way you did have been forgotten—no, they have been taken away. What have they been replaced with? Opportunities for being made to feel like you are stupid and opportunities for guilt because you aren’t ABLE to act as you once did even if you do feel the same way.
Amnesiacs are a rare thing. They look healthy. They look normal. They are great actors. But they can’t do some of the simplest things due to no fault of their own. How many do you know?
Hello, my name is Ronovan. It says so on my notebook on my bed. Nice to meet you . . . again.
© Copyright-All rights reserved by ronovanwrites.wordpress.com 2015
I normally have an image with my Haiku. Today I couldn’t come up with one that matched the words that I was able to truly capture what was in my mind. Perhaps later it will come to me but for now here are the words. I believe words some of us can too often identify with. This is my one Challenge Haiku of the week. I do hope you enjoy, or rather not enjoy.
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© Copyright-All rights reserved by ronovanwrites.wordpress.com 2015
Why did you do it
Take my mind away
I can’t even maintain focus
Fore even one day
You drove the lightning
Deep into my brain
My creations out of my reach
Slowly driving me insane
I once could write with ease
The thoughts were defined with clarity
You took it and shook it
Now my mind reads with jealousy
Short words in short rhymes
Are all I can manage
Because of the pain
Of this body with damage
I had a thought
It came yesterday
Then I fell asleep
That’s when you took it away
Don’t worry, no Sir
This is not me making a complaint
It’s not casting blame
It’s just me losing my restraint
I’ll be okay tomorrow
After the sun rises
When the moon is gone
My world is full of surprises…again
2014 © Copyright-All rights reserved-RonovanWrites.wordpress.com
Another Day Down
Another day down
Another drop of the heart fails
No one really understands it
I speak but they then begin with their own tales
I am in pain toda . . .
Oh, I understand I feel that way too
My Migrai . . .
Oh take this and you’ll feel better in just a few
Another day down
Another drop of heart fails
People all around me
Think that they were the blazer of my trails
I fell and hit my hea . . .
Oh, I’ve been there and done that
Sounds drive me insa . . .
You’ll be fine and okay it’s a fact
Another day down
Another drop of heart fails
You forget what I am now
Your words are like nails
I love yo . .
Oh, I know, nothings changed, we’re fine don’t be insane
But you don . . .
No, you just don’t understand my words because of your brain
Another day down
Another drop of heart fails
Another day of missed out
Another day of misunderstanding Hells
2014 © Copyright-All rights reserved-RonovanWrites.wordpress.com
My Soul Bleeds
These eyes see tragedies
Falling lives in every direction
Hopes and dreams denied
Their pains added to my collection
Why do I feel so much
My chest expands to fill space
Anguish rips to shreds
Tears streak this pale face
I care too much
Wanting to be all things to all
Wishing for nothing
I teeter atop the heap knowing I will fall
The fall is inevitable
The mistakes come and I cannot save
My heart is worn through
My soul bleeds from the last joys rays
2014 © Copyright-All rights reserved-RonovanWrites.wordpress.com
Insanity Havens Shattered
I can’t see where I am waiting
The light has gone out of my eyes
The dam breaks into the cavernous hollow
That was once my mind filled with memories of you
Now I don’t know what I am here for
I can’t seem to discover my path back through
The rifts of the time I was in before
Keep me in your thoughts and your heart
Torch marks engrave the image of you
Torn deep into the crevices of my soul
I look for a way to hang onto the pain
The pain of loving you
Thunder pounds into the echoes of madness
Lightning strikes behind my dimmed eyes
Even opened
They still see lightning strike images of you
Cracks formed in the insanity havens
Believed to be the sanctuary holding me bound
But now
Now I can no longer heart beat be found
2014 © Copyright-All rights reserved-RonovanWrites.wordpress.com.
2014 © Copyright-All rights reserved-RonovanWrites.wordpress.com.
A Pretty Poem
by: Ronovan
Closing my eyes I drift away to a place
I hear the breeze blowing and feel it kiss my skin
There is an emptiness around me
My soul burns deep within
How long has it been
Since my thoughts were last not of you
I can count them on one finger
But even one is too many to be true
I see you in the moon
Late at night as I gaze
I venture into the world
Wandering through the embracing maze
I catch the fragrance of your skin
The air carries it across to me
The distance of the land
Is greater than that of an ocean or sea
I reach up to the sky
Tracing your cheek among the trees
The aching begins deeply
And I drop down to my knees
So far so far the distance
It brings my existence so small
My touch falls to empty
As my body trembles to its fall
This was my attempt to write ‘a pretty poem’. Even it turned into darkness.
Image Credit: gettyimages© Original Photo by Cavan Images / Photonica
© Copyright-All rights reserved-RonovanWrites.wordpress.com.
What a wonderful story. It makes me wonder the source of the story. Is it just made up, the story of a daughter, friends, or did Nishi change the names to protect the tender hearted? You really must read this story and if your hear isn’t aching for the little girl by the end then you are heartless.
Much Admiration for This
Ronovan
“Ann and Florence BFFs forever”
Ann loved Florence..they went to school together, she shared the chewy brown sugar cookies and peanut butter sandwiches her mother used to lovingly pack for her with Florence. Everyday after school she would reserve a seat on the bus for Florence so they could sit together on the way home back from school and all this while they would chat and laugh..They were only in the first grade but they had so much to say to each other..Little girls learn the art of gossip pretty early so that by the time they are adults they become expert architects of the grapevine. Once home Ann would do her homework, watch TV have her dinner and go to bed all the while looking forward to meeting her best friend in school.
Night gave way to morning and Ann woke up to yet another school day. The first…
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