Eight Legged Evil – a poem.

Eight Legged Evil

They weave through time like

Natures undaunted soldiers

whose webs keeps forming


How to Write a Haiku in English Form

A haiku for this week’s Haiku Poetry Prompt Challenge of WEAVE and Web.

Haiku Challenge


Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

© 2021-  Ronovan Hester Copyright reserved. The author asserts his moral and legal rights over this work.

Tender Mercies – a poem.

Tender Mercies

Who needs the tender

mercies of the universe

heal without judgement


How to Write a Haiku in English Form

A haiku for this week’s Haiku Poetry Prompt Challenge of TENDER and Who.

Haiku Challenge


Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

© 2021-  Ronovan Hester Copyright reserved. The author asserts his moral and legal rights over this work.

Fated End- a poem.

Fated End

heed death’s rapid reach

by a dark sense of ennui

the fated plunge nears


How to Write a Haiku in English Form

A haiku for this week’s Haiku Poetry Prompt Challenge of PLUNGE and Rapid..

Haiku Challenge


Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

© 2021-  Ronovan Hester Copyright reserved. The author asserts his moral and legal rights over this work.

Be Still- a poem.

Be Still

rid thoughts of hatred

bring peace to your mind and heart

calm the anxious soul

 

Inspired by one of my favorite Bible verses Psalm 46:10 “He says, Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.” (Emphasis mine.)

 

I’ve told this story many times but it always comes back to remind me to reset my thinking and breathing. Many years ago now, I was going through a great deal of turmoil in my life when the Bible verse above came into focus for me. I was the Youth Director for my church and one week the group and its new Youth Pastor broke out into groups for focused prayer for each person in our little group. I asked for a calming in my life. The Youth Pastor was in my group and he was the one to pray for me. He used Psalm 46:10. The following week we traveled into Atlanta, or just outside of it, to hear the Christian artist Steven Curtis Chapman, the man pretty much responsible for starting Contemporary Christian music. He sang the song below, based on the same Bible verse. There are times when you open your eyes and realize that you’re being sent a message.


How to Write a Haiku in English Form


Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

© 2021-  Ronovan Hester Copyright reserved. The author asserts his moral and legal rights over this work.

Distance – a poem.

Distance

this darkened world knows

my sadness resides afar

my life’s only thrill

 


How to Write a Haiku in English Form

A haiku for this week’s Haiku Poetry Prompt Challenge of SAD and Thrill.

Haiku Challenge


Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

© 2021-  Ronovan Hester Copyright reserved. The author asserts his moral and legal rights over this work.

The Secret Place – a poem.

The Secret Place

seek hidden within

slash this pang of misery

still the barren beast


How to Write a Haiku in English Form

A haiku for this week’s Haiku Poetry Prompt Challenge of ACHE and Ease.

Ronovan Writes Haiku Challenge Winter badge 2021


Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

© 2021-  Ronovan Hester Copyright reserved. The author asserts his moral and legal rights over this work.

Apathetic Anarchy – a poem.

Apathetic Anarchy

biting apathy

youth’s thoughts of their history,

give anarchy teeth

 


How to Write a Haiku in English Form

A haiku for this week’s Haiku Poetry Prompt Challenge of BITE and Teeth.

Ronovan Writes Haiku Challenge Winter badge 2021


Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

© 2020 Ronovan Hester Copyright reserved. The author asserts his moral and legal rights over this work.

Honing with Pain – a poem.

Honing with Pain

the truth has sharp teeth,

biting through the deepest pain,

life heals what life kills

 


How to Write a Haiku in English Form

A haiku for this week’s Haiku Poetry Prompt Challenge of BITE and Teeth.

Ronovan Writes Haiku Challenge Winter badge 2021


Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

© 2020 Ronovan Hester Copyright reserved. The author asserts his moral and legal rights over this work.

Changed – a poem.

Changed

rip, raw, torn, and bare

full of loathing and despair,

changed by loving care

 


How to Write a Haiku in English Form

A haiku for this week’s Haiku Poetry Prompt Challenge of BARE and Full.

Ronovan Writes Haiku Challenge Winter badge 2021


Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

© 2020 Ronovan Hester Copyright reserved. The author asserts his moral and legal rights over this work.

The Question – a poem.

The Question

a dark mind’s season

has never-ending self-doubt,

formed such rough visions

 


How to Write a Haiku in English Form

A haiku for this week’s Haiku Poetry Prompt Challenge of ROUGH and Season.

Ronovan Writes Haiku Challenge Winter badge 2021


Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

© 2020 Ronovan Hester Copyright reserved. The author asserts his moral and legal rights over this work.

hear me say – a poem – a letter – a message

It’s okay
What I’m saying
What I’m playing
That I’m praying
You think you know me and can show me

Hear me           Say

It’s okay
My mind’s relaying
It’s dismaying
It’s decaying
You think you know me, can control me

Here me           Say

It’s okay
I’m testifying
And I’m lying
And denying

And
And
And

It’s okay
I’m conveying
I’m portraying
And I’m fraying

And

It’s

Okay
I’m implying
And denying
And I’m dying
You think you know me, can console me

 

And
And
And
And

Is it okay
It’s diverting
to be inserting
and not be hurting

and
and

 

is it okay
i’m justifying

what you’re supplying

so preoccupying

death defying

dissatisfying

is it okay
that i pray

that i pray

that i pray

Poetry Lost Mind Image

© 2020 Ronovan Hester Copyright reserved. The author asserts his moral and legal rights over this work.

Amaze Me – A Poem

How you amaze me
Every day
I think of ways
You give me life and meaning

 

No one who
Could be like you
And not change me

 

How you amaze me
How you amaze me
How  you amaze me

 

I travel through
a black blue sea
until I can be
just one of your days

 

Finding words
Like pulling nerves
Too many and all painful
Just let me be pain free
Once in my life

 

How you amaze me
How you amaze me
How you amaze me

 

Just once in my life
Make me pain free.

 

 

I used to call these my lyrical poems. I suppose all poems are lyrical…with the right accompaniment. What you see is what came out as it came out.

Standard Poetry Image for Friday

© 2020 Ronovan Hester Copyright reserved. The author asserts his moral and legal rights over this work.

Tremble.

I tremble for you

In this vast void of darkness

I crave all your light.

Tremble Haiku on B&W image of lighthouse

For my Weekly Haiku Challenge. Please join in and add to the family. If you haven’t written a Haiku before, click HERE and there is also a link on that “how to” post that links to instructions on other types of Haiku you might enjoy, such as a Haibun, which is great, because you write a paragraph about something, maybe a nice memory, then you write a Haiku that tells that story in three lines.

Empty Soul.

My soul is empty

This far from my hearts dreams,

My whole body weeps.

Empty Soul Haiku on B&W image.

For my Weekly Haiku Challenge. Please join in and add to the family. If you haven’t written a Haiku before, click HERE and there is also a link on that “how to” post that links to instructions on other types of Haiku you might enjoy, such as a Haibun, which is great, because you write a paragraph about something, maybe a nice memory, then you write a Haiku that tells that story in three lines.

Gasps for Breath.

Pain of life one leads,
Does not wither but exceeds.
Given winds of change,
My mind turns and twists, derange.

Torn ‘tween will and want,
What is it I can’t, I don’t?
  Cowed by maddened, dim lit eyes,
Failure I despise.

I yearn arms embrace,
But fate voids every trace.
Feelings remain deep,
I spurn my foe, night thief sleep.
To the sun promise may rise,
Reason for these tear filled eyes.

~*~

My love is a lump,
A cause for heart’s gasps for breath,
Consumes all my thoughts.

Heart's Gasps by Ronovan Hester


Hello everyone. Today I’m introducing something I believe is new. A normal poem followed by a Haiku that sums up the poem. I am calling this a Freku at this time. Write a normal poem, if you wish, followed by a Haiku that sums up the poem. Free verse plus Haiku equals Freku.

Can you take a poem and then sum it up in three lines of Haiku? Or perhaps the other way around? Look for an article (NEW FORM of Haiku & Poetry) coming soon to explain in more detail but I think this section covers it.

For mine I attempted a 5-7-5-7 for the first stanza, repeat for the next two, but at the end I include two more 7-7. And to wrap it all up I created a Haiku that sums up the poem.

I wrote a normal poem first then worked it down to the 5-7-5-7 patterns. That was as a challenge to myself.



Ronovan Hester is an author, with his debut historical adventure novel Amber Wake: Gabriel Falling due out in December of 2015. He shares his life as an amnesiac and Chronic Pain sufferer through his blog RonovanWrites.WordPress.com. His love of poetry, authors and community through his online world has lead to a growing Weekly Haiku Challenge and the creation of a site dedicated to book reviews, interviews and author resources known as LitWorldInterviews.com.

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

@RonovanWrites

 © Copyright-All rights reserved by ronovanwrites.wordpress.com 2015

HAS REALITY DAWNED FOR YOU?

Today may be a message you want to skip here on Ronovan Writes. It won’t be a pretty message. This is almost a rant but not really. It’s more of a self-realization and determination I’ve discovered as I witness actions in others. Now, don’t think that any of this is judging or anything like that. I’m speaking to this based on a personal level. But it’s something that almost hit me between the eyes with a clarity I’ve never seen before about the subject.

We are all alone at some point. We feel as though no one loves us and we wonder HAS REALITY DAWNED FOR YOU?why it is even worth attempting love. I’ve been there. My journals are filled with it. FILLED! I know the heavy feeling of the body when you are so low and your heart literally aches. If you’ve never felt heart ache, you’ve never been truly and desperately in need of love or been so broken because of it. Your body, your chest, your heart feels as though it is being squeezed and trying to expand out of your chest at the same time.

A mournful soul wailing in the night from some distant bedroom behind darkened windows takes on a meaning to you when reading it in a book like never before. Tears come to your eyes and you feel as though you’ve read the most beautiful thing in life.

And every moment you feel alone. There is no love for you. There is no caring, no warmth. No tender and loving touch.

The next morning you get up and hurriedly get yourself ready for the day, so you can then get your children ready for school.

You barely make it through your day, putting on fake smiles and pretend laughs only to arrive home to begin your ritual of loneliness again, once the children have gone to do their own things in their rooms.

This goes on for years. And then one day a reality dawns.

Now for me a reality dawned.

I am fortunate in many ways. You all know of my boy “B”. But you also know of my blog, my writing, my LitWorldInterviews site, and even my debut novel coming out. I have great friends that came together in my time of need for a laptop to keep my sanity and my lifeline going to all of you.

The dawning to me didn’t occur until now. It didn’t have to. It just happened. Maybe you’ve picked up on what the dawning is.

But for others they don’t realize what they have. People go through those feelings described above every day, wanting someone. For some they have children and never give a thought that they are loved, they have those people to love them, to have fun with, to enjoy life with.

People foolishly fall victim to the idea of must having a romantic partner in life to be complete. None of us are promised a partner. We have our lives, our abilities, and our imaginations.

To be happy in regards to companionship we have those around us; our family, our friends, and if we are in a situation of no longer having a partner or in that all too commonality of emotionally detached partner, then we may have children. Love those children and enjoy them. Do not be selfish and deny them your 100% enjoyment.

We don’t realize how aware children are these days. They notice everything because they are shown everything in so many forms. They know what facial expressions, body language, and even excuses really mean.

We can do a great deal of damage to our children by living and dwelling in a personal emotional space of constant want. We are the role models for our children, or we hope we are. Look at who and what you are, the space your mind is in and ask yourself if you want your child to be like that?

Yes, I know there are some with true concerns that need help, professional help, but I think most of you realize I am speaking about the rest of us who can overcome these moments and situations on our own.

You don’t need a romantic partner. That’s a myth. A very nice myth. A romance that happens is something for people who are in them. That does not mean they are in a situation that is better than a person who is not in a romance. You could probably ask a lot of people who are single again and they will tell you that they enjoy the single life a lot more. Some might say romance is better.

Love your kids, your friends, and your family. Don’t worry about romance. If it is meant to be and it happens, then that is a situation you will discover you either enjoy or not. A romance is a lot of work in order to make it a strong and lasting one. Even those that seem perfect to everyone else, they need a lot of behind the scenes work.

If you are someone waiting on someone else, even a specific someone, and that someone doesn’t seem to be waiting for you . . . think hard about enjoying what you do have. Sometimes what you have is the most precious thing you could ever have. Learn to smile and to love in you.


Ron_LWIRonovan is an author, and blogger who shares his life as an amnesiac and Chronic Pain sufferer through his blog RonovanWrites.WordPress.com. His love of poetry, authors and community through his online world has lead to a growing Weekly Haiku Challenge and the creation of a site dedicated to book reviews, interviews and author resources known as LitWorldInterviews.WordPress.com.

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

@RonovanWrites

 © Copyright-All rights reserved by ronovanwrites.wordpress.com 2015

 

Losing it. What do I do?

There’s a saying that goes something like, “You don’t know what you got till it’s gone.” For about two years I’ve kind of laughed at that phrase. For some of us, when something is gone we don’t even know what it was which means we don’t miss it.

I’ve been fine with it. I go through each day with a new loss flittering away and I feel fine. That’s because I don’t know what flitters away. Okay, so I know something is likely being lost. I’m aware that memories are lost.

Normally I don’t stress about it because stressing leads to other problems. Recently a memory loss, a huge one, became evident—with vigor.

I’ll explain an “other” problem for a moment. Depression. Well, I don’t know that it really needs to be explained. We all know what depression is. When a memory goes away and I then have people forcing that memory back in my head, or trying to get it back in there, things happen. The brain snaps. I actually at some point feel a pop in my head. I am sure it’s not really anything physical, only a psychological representation of what is happening.

When that happens, Ronovan is gone for a time.

My huge memory loss recently led to such a situation. I would think things were going fine, then wham, another hit from a different side. Lulled into things being okay. Wham, another hit. Rinse and repeat. Rinse and repeat.

Now, here I am, depressed, physically ill, and looking for the learning lesson of it all.

Memory problems make for a bad emotional entity. They also make for a bad relationship of any type. You wake up and you don’t know if that person who is your friend, spouse, significant other, father figure is still going to be that for you.

Who is it fair to in that situation? As I’ve been writing this I’ve been sorting through it all. I suppose the best thing is if it’s a repeat offender status thing, cut and run if the situation allows for it. I know live in family members can’t do that but there are things you can do.

Accept the memory loss person (MLP) for who they are, knowing what is possible.

Be supportive in the efforts of the MLP to handle it. Think for a moment about this. You wake up, or are even going along writing or watching a video and then—WHAM—you don’t know what day it is, or what city you are in, or who that person in the other room is. Ever wonder how a person handles that each day?

Think about being in the middle of a sentence and forgetting who it is across the table from you. In this age of internet and digital conversations and friendships it’s even more difficult to remember without those constant physical/visual cues.

People might find it surprising that I wake up and have forgotten the people in my house. Or I will go through one of those situations above. My body goes through a routine each morning and I discover what my problems are and I just go with it. I’ve told myself in letters not to stress, that I am normal. This is normal for me. I tell myself to begin to write something from a list of projects I’m working on.

Sometimes memories will come back or at least enough of a familiarity to make things fine or functionable. Yeah, another of my made up words.

What about the other person, the person forgotten?

What would I do if I were on the other end of this?

I honestly can’t answer that with an all encompassing solution. I think patience is part of it, understanding, and you know maybe even just cut and run. I know people balk at that last one but it is an option. But that is the option people will focus on here because it is seen as the uncaring, cold idea and how could I even think of telling someone to do that if a person cared about the MLP or of the MLP cares about the person.

I’ve been living with this for two years. You get to the point, where after having written about it, thought about it, and lived through it, you cut through it all to the heart or heartless of it all and give solutions.

And what about the MLP? Should they keep trying to remember, opening themselves up to an emotional tug-of-war to then either go through the loss again, perhaps not knowing it, or then being shut off once a connection is established again?

What do I do?

I have no one answer for myself. Perhaps I should, it would make my life easier. Can a person live a life, a healthy life mentally without people? I suppose they can but I’m not that far gone yet.

Now, for those who look at my writing and things I share each day and think I seem normal and I have all these friendships and all, the MLP has tricks they use to get by. Don’t call out the MLP for this if you still want to be a part of their life. At least they are trying.

I’ll tell you one trick I have. It’s called the Ronovan Writes Weekly Haiku Poetry Prompt Challenge. No, that’s not a plug for my challenge. I am telling you about a trick. There are people who do the challenge every week, and that means I read their work, usually at least twice, think about it, review it, see their names, and all of that every week. It doesn’t work for each person because of lack of regularity but when I see the name I know it’s familiar and once I get to their site things come back.

MLPs have sensory/emotional impressions of people if not actual memories. I know by a name, if it has been around me long enough, if that person is someone that is positive for me or negative, if that person is a friend or foe, if that person is emotionally good for me or a life drain.

When you hear that old saying about first impressions, it’s true. Make a good first impression and good last impression as well. You are asking, “How do I know when that last impression will be?” Whenever you leave the communication presence of someone, that’s your last impression until the next time you connect with them.

Well, this has been a longer message than I had planned, and I’m not sure if it is even what I had intended, but it is what it is and that’s all that it is. So, as I have just now read back through it, you might find it surprising I forgot about half of what I wrote while I was writing this. But again, it is what it is. I’m not to blame, you are not to blame, there is no blame.

Oh, I just remembered why I was writing this. Seriously. That big recent memory loss I had, like a mind wipe almost, took some important people away and broke things. Hmm, never mind. You know, I’ve tried. I think I will just deal with the depression of it all, come out the other side, and say I am what I am. It’s all I can be. Even if I don’t like it, I have to accept it or wind up on the 6 o’clock news.

 

Much Respect

Ronovan

© Copyright-All rights reserved by ronovanwrites.wordpress.com 2015

To your whim. (A Poem)

Desire falls to whim

In a heart’s beat symphony

I am all with you.

Let’s connect.

https://twitter.com/RonovanWrites

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Ronovan-Writes/630347477034132

https://plus.google.com/u/0/+RonovanWrites/about

ronovan-profile-bw

 

 

 

 

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

© Copyright-All rights reserved by ronovanwrites.wordpress.com 2015

Pure and Evergreen.

I wrote you letters on your doorstep in late December
Painted through thoughts pure and evergreen

Never knew they would be so briefly held to matter
Why are they memories that won’t escape me

You don’t want to know me

Do you even care
Are you even aware
Do you ever remember loving me

Does your mind dare
Does it go there
Does it ever remember knowing me

I spelled your name in the sky through my bedroom window
Never will I be able to look that way again

I try to write a letter so you will remember
Tears blur the words until I can’t see

My heart burns so
My chest tightens to know
Please, oh please come crucify me

Loving you is a matter of a contradiction
Do you know what that means

Please, oh please you crucify me

 
 

 
 

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

© Copyright-All rights reserved by ronovanwrites.wordpress.com 2015

#1000Speak Hello, nice to meet you . . . again.

1000 Voices Speak for Compassion.1000 voices speak for compassion

As I write this it’s the 19th and something nagged at me the 20th was a date I should know. I logged on to facebook and saw a 1000 Voices for Compassion update. It’s a group for bloggers that I think the name of speaks for itself. Now here I am writing. Good thing I joined the group at some point. Not sure when, but I did.

People forget all the time. People instantly think of Alzheimer’s patients when you start talking about memory problems. We’ve learned to have compassion for them.

But there are other reasons people forget. You have accidents that result in concussions, brain damage, and that can be a problem.

Have you ever wondered about people with amnesia? Have you ever wondered what it’s like to be an adult and not know 40 years worth of memories, people, history? Have you ever wondered how to deal with people like that? Probably not.

Let’s play pretend.

You look completely healthy. Actually you look healthier than before your accident. People look at you and have no clue anything is wrong. You might have to ask one of the simplest things you should know and people will think you are joking.

The responses range from a laugh and answer, to a curse and walking off. All you want to know is where the cooking oil is or which aisle the peanut butter is on.

Imagine if you will, walking in to a store and each time it is a brand new store, no matter how many times you walk in to the store. As far as you know have never been in that store.

Okay, let’s change that. Let’s say you wake up and you don’t know where you are. You look beside you and see a notebook that is opened to a page that says ‘Read Me’. Reading you now know your name, where you are, what is wrong with you, and how to find the restroom in the house because there is a hand drawn map on one of the pages you are told to read.

Imagine that is you every morning because not only do you have amnesia but you have short term memory problems as well.

Then you have to deal with people being mean to you. You are nice to everyone. You even cover your being afraid by joking with the cashier while the 70 year-old woman who drives you places is paying for the groceries.

Now imagine people you know, who talk to you each day, wanting you to be the exact person you were before. But you can’t. You don’t know how you became the person you were before. You want to be that person for those people and you search and search and you try to remember but the keys can’t be found.

Imagine the lack of understanding you have to deal with, even when told by the people they understand. Yes, you understand how the other people are frustrated because you can’t be the same. But what can you do about it? Can you make yourself remember and be the same? I guess that’s where the compassion comes in. Imagine the guilt you would have for not remembering. Imagine how you would see these people sad and looking at you to make things better and can’t. Imagine how the insides of you, the amnesiac are ripped apart each time that look is given, that word is said. Imagine how difficult it is for you to even face those situations that will rip them apart. Imagine the depression you would go through. Imagine how you would want it all to end.

All the things of your life that made you who you were and be the way you were and love the way you did have been forgotten—no, they have been taken away. What have they been replaced with? Opportunities for being made to feel like you are stupid and opportunities for guilt because you aren’t ABLE to act as you once did even if you do feel the same way.

Amnesiacs are a rare thing. They look healthy. They look normal. They are great actors. But they can’t do some of the simplest things due to no fault of their own. How many do you know?

Hello, my name is Ronovan. It says so on my notebook on my bed. Nice to meet you . . . again.

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

© Copyright-All rights reserved by ronovanwrites.wordpress.com 2015