Girls grow…

I saw a quote recently that didn’t sound quite right to me so I decided to change one word and make it work for what I was thinking. Although, both quotes work depending on who needs what when.

“Girls grow differently when they are treated right and loved properly.+

 

Girls grow differently orchid image.

Change your mind…change your life.

With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. 10 Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be. (James 3:9-10)

One way to change your life is to change your mind. One sign of a changing mind is a changing tongue. Years ago I was a swearer. I wasn’t a major profanity person but I used some language. And yes, I was a Christian then too. Then I found out I was going to be a father so I made the decision to change. If I was going to tell my child to be a certain way, shouldn’t I be the living example of that way?

To do this I made certain to not fill my life with things that were filled with what I didn’t want. I changed my music listening, reading, TV viewing. No, I didn’t become a fanatic about it, but I did make deliberate decisions. An example would be TV. If a show happened to have a bad word in it as part of a scene because the scene was emotional or something, okay, I got it. If the whole show was laced with it, and had scenes that sensationalized things it shouldn’t, I stayed away.

The same thing went for music. Although for that I mostly went to Contemporary Christian music. I like it. I still listen to my old 80s music for fun. And there are some music acts I like even now. But I still heed my initial parameters. And let me tell you, it is sad when you hear a song with a good beat and then they start in with the language or sexist or derogatory content.

You can’t be two minds on a matter or it comes out in your language. If you give lip service to a subject you will get found out. People like to think you are what you are. No, you are what you turn yourself into. It’s been over a decade since I made myself a promise to watch my language. I continue to fulfill that promise. I’m still cautious of my viewing and listening indulgences. I figure if I’m not participating, that’s one less vote, so to speak, for that type of content.

Do you think you can change your life by changing your mind? Can you change your views of the world by changing your mind? Pick something this week that you know you shouldn’t be doing or saying and work at altering your life by finding out why you say that and then stop. For me, I found that by not having all those music and TV influences I was able to easily stop using language, even when people around me at work were using it. See what you can do this week.

Much Respect

Ronovan

Spark the Imagination.

Inspire a child’s mind

To spark imagination,

Read a true classic.

Spark the Imagination Poem by Ronovan Hester



Ronovan Hester is an author, with a debut historical adventure novel Amber Wake: Gabriel Falling due out in February 14, 2016. He shares his life on his blog RonovanWrites.WordPress.com. His love of writing, authors and community through his online world has led to a growing Weekly Haiku Challenge, Weekly Fiction Prompt Challenge, and the creation of a site dedicated to book reviews, interviews and author resources known as LitWorldInterviews.com.

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

@RonovanWrites

 © Copyright-All rights reserved by ronovanwrites.wordpress.com 2015

10 #Books for #Christmas #Gifts from my #Reviews this year.

Looking for a last minute present for Christmas?

Want a great book?

Need a gift to put you into that FREE Shipping range?

Here are my suggestions from my reviews this year. Click the links for the reviews. Or click the book image to go to Amazon.

10 Book Ideas for Christmas

Dancing to an Irish Reel by Claire FullertonLiterary Fiction, Ireland, Contemporary

#Book Review of Dancing to an Irish Reel by @cfullerton3

“You might at times want to hit Liam over the head with something, like his accordion, but then, he is a man, it’s love, and he’s young, so what else would you expect? And that is one thing that makes this book real and allows the reader to connect with it. No one is perfect in the book. “

The Judas Apocalypse by Dan McNeilHistorical Fiction, Adventure, Archaeology, WWII

The Judas Apocalypse by @DanMcNeil888 “At times his encounters are humorous, deadly, and explosive.”

“He’s been referred to as the new Dan on the block of historical fiction conspiracy theories. I don’t agree. Dan McNeil handles his subject with a better hand than Brown ever has. Yeah, sure, you want to knock him across the room at times but who doesn’t want to read something that gets them on an emotional level at times? If you want a fluff read, skip this review. McNeil isn’t about fluff.”

Sex and Samosas book cover by Author Jasmine AzizMarriage, Relationships, Humor, Self Discovery

#Book Review by @RonovanWrites of Sex & Samosas by Author @JasmineAziz

“Nothing is perfect. Sex isn’t perfect like a scripted movie. Things happen, and man, I am still dying over the what I call ‘on fire’ part of the book.”

Jesus vs. Santa: Christmas Misunderstood by Jason E. RoyleChristian, Inspiration, and Parenting.

Jesus vs. Santa: Christmas Misunderstood by @JERoyle #Book Review by @RonovanWrites

“You’ll learn where the answer to how we handle the issue of Santa with our kids begins. A great deal of what you find in Jesus vs. Santa you can use in everyday life with not only your children, but yourself as well.”

jason royle

Judas: Hero Misunderstood by @JERoyle

“The style he chose to use is contemporary in the use of language and symbolism in order for anyone today to relate and connect to the story. Unlike many other takes that are similar to what Royle has done you don’t get a preachy style. At the very end, after the story is all done and over with, you receive a look at passages from the Bible to show you what may or may not bring credence to what Royle has written.”

alesha escobarFantasy, Vampires, WWII, Magic, Wizards, Adult

#Book #Review of The Tower’s Alchemist The Gray Tower Trilogy Book 1 by Alesha Escobar @The_GrayTower

“Isabella George is not your typical spy. For one she’s a female spy in WWII sneaking in to German occupied France. Yes, there were female spies but not the norm in literature of this type. And for another thing, she’s a wizard. Her mission in this first book of the Gray Tower Trilogy is to find and bring home the wizard creating a chemical weapon for the Nazis. But would it be a book worth a Trilogy if it were that simple?”

Levant Mirage by Oliver F. ChaseAction, Adventure, Terroists

Levant Mirage by @OliverFChase “It’s so possible, it’s scary.” #Book Review

“Levant Mirage takes snapshots from the headlines of the past few years to build a character and combines it with frighteningly realistic possibilities to give a story you pray never happens.”

Close Up on Murder by Linda TownsdinMystery, Suspense

Close Up on Murder by Linda Townsdin @ltownsdin. A #BookReview.

“Levant Mirage takes snapshots from the headlines of the past few years to build a character and combines it with frighteningly realistic possibilities to give a story you pray never happens.”

ali isaac jane doughertyIrish Mythology, Folklore, Short Story Collection

#BookWorm @RonovanWrites Review Grá mo Chroí Love Stories from Irish Myth @aliisaac_ & @MJDougherty33

“The stories are of love and tragedy and more. I felt while reading the stories I was reading not about people in a book, or about love between two people and what befalls them but the love of a people for their homeland and their culture and the tragedies they faced throughout the ages. Yes, it hit me where it hurt, or it felt. Got me in the heart. “

A Haiku Perspective by Annette Rochelle AbenPoetry, Haiku

New Book! A Haiku Perspective by Annette Rochelle Aben @YouAreTheExpert

“Welcome to my haiku perspective on life. It is easy to enjoy this book because haiku flows, which means it can be experienced effortlessly. Perhaps reading this book will open up some creative energy within you and if so, you will share your haiku as well. Those who live to express themselves with words, craft a world using the alphabet, are giving life to imagination and thought.”

© Copyright-All rights reserved by litworldinterviews.com 2015

HAS REALITY DAWNED FOR YOU?

Today may be a message you want to skip here on Ronovan Writes. It won’t be a pretty message. This is almost a rant but not really. It’s more of a self-realization and determination I’ve discovered as I witness actions in others. Now, don’t think that any of this is judging or anything like that. I’m speaking to this based on a personal level. But it’s something that almost hit me between the eyes with a clarity I’ve never seen before about the subject.

We are all alone at some point. We feel as though no one loves us and we wonder HAS REALITY DAWNED FOR YOU?why it is even worth attempting love. I’ve been there. My journals are filled with it. FILLED! I know the heavy feeling of the body when you are so low and your heart literally aches. If you’ve never felt heart ache, you’ve never been truly and desperately in need of love or been so broken because of it. Your body, your chest, your heart feels as though it is being squeezed and trying to expand out of your chest at the same time.

A mournful soul wailing in the night from some distant bedroom behind darkened windows takes on a meaning to you when reading it in a book like never before. Tears come to your eyes and you feel as though you’ve read the most beautiful thing in life.

And every moment you feel alone. There is no love for you. There is no caring, no warmth. No tender and loving touch.

The next morning you get up and hurriedly get yourself ready for the day, so you can then get your children ready for school.

You barely make it through your day, putting on fake smiles and pretend laughs only to arrive home to begin your ritual of loneliness again, once the children have gone to do their own things in their rooms.

This goes on for years. And then one day a reality dawns.

Now for me a reality dawned.

I am fortunate in many ways. You all know of my boy “B”. But you also know of my blog, my writing, my LitWorldInterviews site, and even my debut novel coming out. I have great friends that came together in my time of need for a laptop to keep my sanity and my lifeline going to all of you.

The dawning to me didn’t occur until now. It didn’t have to. It just happened. Maybe you’ve picked up on what the dawning is.

But for others they don’t realize what they have. People go through those feelings described above every day, wanting someone. For some they have children and never give a thought that they are loved, they have those people to love them, to have fun with, to enjoy life with.

People foolishly fall victim to the idea of must having a romantic partner in life to be complete. None of us are promised a partner. We have our lives, our abilities, and our imaginations.

To be happy in regards to companionship we have those around us; our family, our friends, and if we are in a situation of no longer having a partner or in that all too commonality of emotionally detached partner, then we may have children. Love those children and enjoy them. Do not be selfish and deny them your 100% enjoyment.

We don’t realize how aware children are these days. They notice everything because they are shown everything in so many forms. They know what facial expressions, body language, and even excuses really mean.

We can do a great deal of damage to our children by living and dwelling in a personal emotional space of constant want. We are the role models for our children, or we hope we are. Look at who and what you are, the space your mind is in and ask yourself if you want your child to be like that?

Yes, I know there are some with true concerns that need help, professional help, but I think most of you realize I am speaking about the rest of us who can overcome these moments and situations on our own.

You don’t need a romantic partner. That’s a myth. A very nice myth. A romance that happens is something for people who are in them. That does not mean they are in a situation that is better than a person who is not in a romance. You could probably ask a lot of people who are single again and they will tell you that they enjoy the single life a lot more. Some might say romance is better.

Love your kids, your friends, and your family. Don’t worry about romance. If it is meant to be and it happens, then that is a situation you will discover you either enjoy or not. A romance is a lot of work in order to make it a strong and lasting one. Even those that seem perfect to everyone else, they need a lot of behind the scenes work.

If you are someone waiting on someone else, even a specific someone, and that someone doesn’t seem to be waiting for you . . . think hard about enjoying what you do have. Sometimes what you have is the most precious thing you could ever have. Learn to smile and to love in you.


Ron_LWIRonovan is an author, and blogger who shares his life as an amnesiac and Chronic Pain sufferer through his blog RonovanWrites.WordPress.com. His love of poetry, authors and community through his online world has lead to a growing Weekly Haiku Challenge and the creation of a site dedicated to book reviews, interviews and author resources known as LitWorldInterviews.WordPress.com.

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

@RonovanWrites

 © Copyright-All rights reserved by ronovanwrites.wordpress.com 2015

 

Impressions-Like Sand or Cement.

I’ve been working on my Romance novel and thoughts as I lay in bed last night, attempting to go to sleep, led me to impressions. Just so all of you are aware, my brain works in odd ways and chases what some in the world call rabbits. Rabbits are something you want to see, perhaps catch, even just for a photo, but will take you far away from where you once were.

For me, rabbit chasing has always been a philosophical adventure.

As I lay there thinking about one of my characters the idea of that person’s impression on others rattled around in my head. Then I began wondering about the kinds of impressions are made.

Where I ended up next is beyond me.

Some impressions are like the impressions you see as you walk along the beach in the evening. The footsteps you travel along beside with the deep heel, shallow toes and slightly kicked up bit of packed bits of all the things that make up that sand. You think about how interesting they look, wonder who made them, how lonely they look alone in their single file. Come the next morning you return to the beach and find that after a night of sleep the impressions are gone. They have been washed away by time and by nature.

Some people are like that. They pass through your life without leaving but a momentary impression. There was nothing in the impression to stay with you. A single file of footprints in an evening beach will be seen again, and not made by the same person, on a beach far away.

Then there are the impressions in your backyard. A frame was set up—the right mixture of materials of dry to wet—smoothening of the cement—patience for the cement to set up just right—then you are brought out as a child and your feet and hands are pressed into the wet but firm cement. You are now set.

Time was taken to make that impression. Time was taken to set it firmly in place. Julius Charles Hare ImpressionsCare was taken to make certain everything was just right in order you would be a part of that world for as long as possible. There would be no overnight washing away of these prints.

I thought about impressions this morning during a conversation. The impressions we leave with our children. Those impressions are like an artist with a chisel. With each strike we leave our mark—our impression—on their minds, hearts, lives. Do we leave the impression of always being there and loving them and doing what it takes to get it ‘right’ or instead do we reinforce the impression of not caring, not being bothered to do something, thinking of ourselves first?

“The mind is like a sheet of white paper in this, that the impressions it receives the oftenest, and retains the longest, are black ones.” Julius Charles Hare

With each strike of our hammer into the chisel we set our impressions in place with our children and with those we interact with. What impression do you want to leave? Do you care what impression you leave? Have you sat back and thought about the impression you have made, are making, will leave?

This was written for my #BeWoW (Be Wonderful on Wednesday share) and for the Writer’s Quote Wednesday hosted by Colleen Chesebro of SilverThreading.Com. Click her site link if the Writer’s Quote Wednesday does not have a link in it directly to her post for the day yet. You simply ping back to her post or copy and paste your link there. You do the same with your #BeWoW posts to here if you have one. Not familiar with a ping back? Click here to find out how.

Much Respect-Much Love

Ronovan

Ron_LWIRonovan is an author, and blogger who shares his life as an amnesiac and Chronic Pain sufferer though his blog RonovanWrites.WordPress.com. His love of poetry, authors and community through his online world has lead to a growing Weekly Haiku Challenge and the creation of a site dedicated to book reviews, interviews and author resources known as LitWorldInterviews.WordPress.com.

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

@RonovanWrites

 © Copyright-All rights reserved by ronovanwrites.wordpress.com 2015

Guide those tongues wisely.

People say things they don’t mean. Okay, maybe they mean them but they don’t intend nor do plan to keep those feelings. In the moment they have a burst of anger and say stupid things. I know, I said the bad word, stupid. At least it’s a bad word in my house.

Maybe it’s the TV my son watches but he does well with not saying things to hurt feelings. Gotta love Classics on Hulu.

Angry young lives should

Be taken seriously,

Guide your tongue wisely.

 

 

Much Love, Success, and Respect

Ronovan

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

© Copyright-All rights reserved by ronovanwrites.wordpress.com 2015

5 Ways to Connect with Your Children #1000Speak

Connecting with people is something you have to work at. Okay, so it comes naturally for some people. This article is being written with the 1000 voices speak for compassioncurrent 1000 Voices for Compassion theme of Connection in mind. Oddly it goes along with something I’ve been thinking of for some time now and carries over from something I wrote previously in my Let your Kids be them and not you.

I’m not a strong connector these days, and haven’t been for the past couple of years. I was prior to that but now I am more of a recluse. That being said, there are people you can’t and shouldn’t be a recluse from—Your Children.

I look at a lot of problems today and I personally believe a lot of them could have been prevented if a good and healthy connection had been established and maintained between the parent and child. Notice I said a “good and healthy” connection.

My son goes to school before I get up in the mornings. Often times I am asleep when he comes home. Chronic Fatigue is part of my Fibromyalgia so I really have no control over when I will drop off and sleeping problems mess things up as well. Thus, when I am with my son I need to make certain there is that connection. It may be only a look or a couple of words but there needs to be something positive and building going on.

5 Ways Parents Connect To Their Children

  1. Be Less Self: I know you don’t think of yourself as begin selfish but when you consider that very often you are molding your child to be what you want them to be instead of what they should be, you are being selfish. This is in regards to utilization of talents and intellect. We should all try to mold our children into being good people, so don’t even think about going off on me about that.
  2. Listen: Children like to talk, IF they have parents that like to listen. You may not like to listen—Pretend. Listen to your child and respond to them. Acknowledge you have heard what they said. Your child will grow in confidence, social abilities and even vocabulary.
  3. Be Aware: Paying attention to your child will give you ideas and clues about their likes, dislikes, desires, goals, wishes. You will see where they thrive. I know my son. From the time he could stand and throw a ball, and I mean literally just that, he could throw a strike down the hallway to me. I knew then that baseball would be the sport he would thrive at. Did I push him to it? No. I personally wanted him to play football, but through the years I changed my mind. Knowing my son, I see that he likes to know what his assignment is, do his assigned task and still be a part of a team. Also he is not a very aggressive type physically. Football is out. Basketball? He’s tried it and it is mayhem at his age because other kids don’t do their assigned tasks on the team. But baseball? He is the starting outfielder his first year playing. I mean that as in they put him where they know a team hits to most. He is also the clean-up hitter. That means he is their power hitter. His first year playing. I also can pick out a book I know he will like. Why? Because he is like me and I’ve noticed it. He likes non-fiction books and will be watching a documentary on public television he turned to.
  4. Patient: Here is a big one. Patience is a hard thing to be at times. But if you are a screamer, a yeller, you will not connect with your child. And if you are a physical punisher to a bit of the extreme, you will definitely not connect. I know that one personally. Kids do dumb things at times. You will think your kid is mature one moment and then do something completely their age the next and it will make you so mad. Just remember their age and take deep breaths and count to a million.
  5. Affectionate: Here is another tough one, especially for a lot of men. Hug your child, no matter their age. Why? So you can teach them hugging and being affectionate is normal and a hug is a sign of love. Left on their own and without a role model, they will turn elsewhere. Hugging will turn into something not simply meant as a sign of love and affection for someone. Also words are signs of affection. Tell your child you love them. Tell them you are proud of them for random things. Or maybe say “That was awesome” to something random. Don’t reserve those words for good grades or athletic achievements.

Connecting with your child teaches them to connect with others and that takes care of a lot of things out there. You may not realize it but they are learning all those things you are doing, each of those five things I mentioned above, simply by observing what you are doing. They know you are listening, they know you are being patient.

By modeling for them these characteristics we are helping the future.

Duke-Tip-Award

 

Much Respect

Ronovan

 

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

© Copyright-All rights reserved by ronovanwrites.wordpress.com 2015

 

Let your kids be them and not you.

I haven’t done a Sunday Thought in a  while, in part due to a lack of energy. Okay, so it is all due to lack of energy, but today I figure why not. I’ll take a nap afterwards. 2 hours of sleep in the last 36 hours or so just doesn’t cut it.

So today I wanted to talk about something I care about a lot and that’s the encouragement of children. This won’t be a long one or a revelation one. It’s simple.

We look around today and see all the madness in America involving racial issues, violence, and all sorts of things. Some things are improving but a lot of things are worse or seem to be with the ease of reporting what’s happening now over how it was so many years ago.

I don’t tell my son to go out and treat people a certain way. In fact it rarely comes up. The only time it does is when there are bullies at school. Bullies are a bit silly when it comes to my son. If my son ever really wanted to deal with one in a physical way, the bully would be hurting for a while, but physical isn’t my boy “B”s first thought. Just like it’s never been mine. For me it may be a day later before the slow burn gets to me and I wish I had done this or that, but in truth wouldn’t have anyway.

I’m proud of what my son has accomplished this year in school. He’s one of only two kids in his grade to be recognized and accepted into an academically gifted student talent search program by one of the top universities in the country and the world. He’s 10. He said the other students looked at him kind of strange when he walked down the hall after Honor’s Day and it was announced to the school. I think maybe he just was noticing something that wasn’t there. But I told him to be proud of it.

My focus with my son is on him being him. And the beset whatever him that means. He and I share a lot of the same characteristics and interests but I consciously make an effort not to put my wishes on him. He’s turning out to be better than I was, if not a little more headstrong than I was. Stubborn? Imagine that.

I thought I would share a picture of “B” today. No, not an actual photo but my portrait from a photo taken at Honor’s Day with his ribbon showing his acceptance into the program. I missed the program. The email came out the night before at a time no one checks their email. But the school takes pictures and puts them up for all of us to see. So here you are. Now you sort of know what B looks like.

Duke-Tip-Award

Much Respect

Ronovan

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

© Copyright-All rights reserved by ronovanwrites.wordpress.com 2015

Nurturing is Genuine.

For me there is some difficulty when it comes to face to face relationships since my accident over a year ago. It might be the memory issues. Perhaps the fear of people. Somewhere along the way . . . hmm, maybe it’s all of it together.

As a father I have to get over it at times. I guess when I am able to get into those moments of discussion and encouragement and help my son grow, he knows it’s the real thing. And there I believe lies true nurturing.

Humans are very perceptive when it comes to fakes or genuines. Yes, another of my made up words. Perhaps I will create a comic book called The Genuines and the enemies will be The Deceptives.

“Focus, Ronovan.”

“Okay, okay, I will.”

My son is very perceptive. He knows when someone truly cares about him when they are discussing things that are to encourage and help him. He doesn’t need encouragement. I suppose encouragement is great in its place but nurturing is really the thing that is needed.

When you nurture you are giving of yourself, your feelings are shared, your time, your blood, your sweat and tears. Even an infant knows the difference between the genuine and the deceptive.

My son, aged 10, began his first season of baseball this year. No one believes it. He was apparently born to play the game. Perhaps it was the hours of throwing balls to him over the summer that helped some, the explaining how baseball works, how to properly run the bases, how to relay the ball. It was a sport I could explain and he could learn that carried over. I suppose it helped I took coaching of baseball in college.

But what is really helping him are the coaches. He has the best coaches in his league. I don’t say that because they are winning, I say that because their mentality of growing young kids into loving baseball, and training them the right way, and not just about technique.

The hitting coach even took time with my son “B” before practice, since it was early, and went through a couple of things with him, and told him he was the most naturally gifted hitter and player he had ever seen. He didn’t have to say that. And his actions back up his words.

I take the guys words as truth because of his background. He played college ball, football and baseball at the same University I went to, but ended up with baseball after the first season and was even scouted by the pros. He still plays in leagues that we have here that aren’t for pros. Oh, did I mention his father was a two time football Super Bowl Champion?

Encouragement without sincerity is just smoke. It’s a commercial for a toy that kids know won’t work. My son even explains to me why the toys won’t work when he sees the ads.

Again, I wasn’t going to do a post today, but it’s #1000Speak for Compassion with the topic of Nurturing. I opened the page and this happened without a thought.

Nurturing can be from adult to adult as well. I  have people, person, something like that, not only encouraging my writing but taking steps to nurture along the way to lead in the direction of improvement. Not so much teaching me technique but being honest with me.

Nurturing is not simply being a cheerleader, nurturing is sometimes be the tough guy for the better. The other person won’t always like it, but through a history with you, they know it is for the better and will go with it.

No matter what you do, with whomever you do it with, nurture. It reminds me of one of my favorite verses.

“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”~Ephesians 4:29

If those who follow these words only fulfilled these words, would it not be a wonderful world? I try. I fail at times, I am sure, but I try.

1000 voices speak for compassion

Let’s connect.

https://twitter.com/RonovanWrites

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Ronovan-Writes/630347477034132

https://plus.google.com/u/0/+RonovanWrites/about

ronovan-profile-bw

 

 

 

 

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

© Copyright-All rights reserved by ronovanwrites.wordpress.com 2015

 

Being Positive Support for Others.

Last week I wrote about The Importance of Being You. Coming to terms with who you are, admitting it, owning it, and not ALLOWING others to deny you of being who that person is, is THE defining moment of your life. And before people go in to the odd areas, this is being you that doesn’t harm other people. Okay? Just to make that clear. I’m not up for supporting your norm if it’s to watch child pornography.

You know, I really don’t understand that one. I really don’t. I somewhat in a way understand an adult watching another adult. I think we can all at least grasp that concept. But children? Really? If that’s your norm, seek help now.

Well, I went on a bit of a tangent there, and now back on the path of whatever is about to come out of these fingertips and onto this page. Frightening, I know.

Allowing

Just as it is important that you ALLOW yourself to be you, yes, and others should ALLOW you to be you, well really you ALLOW them to keep you from being you, but just the same, YOU should not hamper others from being who THEY are meant to be.

I’ll use my son as an example. He has the potential to be anything he wants to be. I know many of us say that about our children and the reality is hogwash, but he really does. He has the intelligence, the athletic ability, musical talent, artistic talent, creativity, and even the looks to be whatever he wants to be. I mention looks in case he wants to be a Calvin Klein model someday. Disturbing as that may be. If Marky Mark can do it and become a famous actor after having assaulted a person of another ethnic background then I tell you my very loving son can do it too.

Are these my opinions? Yes and no. They are but they are also the opinions of many other objective people. But the family unit needs to ALLOW him the freedom to find his way.

I may want him to be one thing, but he may not want to do that for whatever reason. I’m cool with it. He’s 10. He’s got lots of time to determine what he wants to do with his life. I’m just here to make sure he has the support, love, and guidance to get to that moment of decision.

Perhaps another parent subtly discourages an activity by being negative about it in a way that the child doesn’t even know it’s negativity. What if that negativity is denying the world of something amazing or revolutionary? WE never know what one thing might lead in to. This career might lead to saving the world through another totally unrelated career but one that came about through some weird link that only happened because of that first career.

Supporting

I’ve learned to just let it flow. Eventually my son will find what it is he wants to do. Right now? Baseball. And to be honest, if I am to be honest with myself, that’s what he’s shown a skill for from almost birth. He’s been able to throw a strike since he could stand and throw a ball. And he throws hard. But is that all?

He is great at many things. No one thing is likely to be your defining thing. No one thing will be his. He’s at that stage now where he is wanting to fit in and I am trying as best I can to guide him to keep looking around at everything he is interested in.

He hates being called one of the smartest kids in his grade by the other kids. Now that he plays sports things are calming a bit, but he is letting his grades just get the A grade instead of that high A where it should be. He’s in the Fourth Grade. I’m not going to throw a fit unless he just intentionally tanks something that makes no sense. I’m not letting that off the hook.

But I don’t allow my idea of what I THINK he should be or could be interfere with what he may WANT to be or SHOULD be. And I don’t let MY OWN self abilities and who I AM dictate who he is to be.

Lest We Forget

That’s one thing I think some people forget. Just because we want to be who we are and want to be doesn’t mean we are to interfere with what someone else wants to be, even if that happens to be something that may challenge our own desires.

As we want others to be not interfere with our positive environment we should contribute to their having one. We should be encouraging and motivational whenever possible. But don’t be over the top. That’s the key though. When is over the top? Perhaps that will be next week.

If you would like to read a companion article to this I wrote as a guest blog a couple of days go on the blog Meanings and Musing. The blog of Florence Thum an attorney and therapist out of Sydney, Australia, click Do you Know an Anthem Writer of the Next Generation?

How are you encouraging and positive in someone’s life?

How do you be encouraging without sending the wrong message of being more than just interested in encouragement?

Please remember to follow me:

@RonovanWrites
on Facebook
on Google+
be-wow-blogger

 

 

 

 

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

© Copyright-All rights reserved by ronovanwrites.wordpress.com 2015

 

 

Guest Haiku by @SarahBrentyn

He blog Title is

Lemon Shark

Navigating the Uncharted Waters of Parenting & Life

 Parenting

Raging winter beast

Brings relentless nor’easters

Another snow day

 

 

Not a Morning Person

Early in the day

I am the snarling beast who

Searchers for coffee

 

 

 

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

© Copyright-All rights reserved by ronovanwrites.wordpress.com 2015

Patience in Everything.

There are a lot of things you cannot be taught in life. Okay, so that is an opinion of mine. I don’t think you can be taught talent. The talent that you have can be brought out of you, but if you don’t have that ability in you to begin with then you cannot eventually do it simply by someone showing you how.

You may be taught Algebra, but when you leave the classroom it is gone. You must constantly study it in order to pass the test.

There is one thing you can be taught.

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.~Philippians 4:4-7

Patience can be taught. I recently had a conversation with a lady about how when writing a book you needed to be patient. You want to rush that book to an agent, a publisher or self-publish, but the truth is you need to be patient. You need to allow for that work to grow and mature. take your time to find everything that needs your attention. I compared it to raising a child.

You would not want your child to be set before the world weak because you did not have the patience to feed it properly because it didn’t want to eat what it needed. You would not put your child out there without the best you could give it. Even if that best is not as good as what someone else has it still is as good as they have. Keep that in mind. Your best is all you can do, therefore it is just as good as what anyone else does as their best.

We need patience in all parts of our lives. Especially with children. Our children are like little adults to us at times. We know how smart they are. We know what they know and are capable of. Then they do something that is, well frankly is very much a 6 year old thing to do.

One thing to remember, above all else about your child, is they are the age they are for a reason. They are growing and maturing and no matter what WE think they can do, they are still children.

Friendships are the same way, relationships as well. Both are children that we know what they are capable of but with our being slowly developing them, we need to remember that in a relationship or friendship that is only two weeks old, there are going to be things that are going to be trying to us.

You know what your moods are. Your relationship person does not. You have to learn and you need to be patient.

Books, children, relationships, even your own new found hobbies all require patience. Maturity may never happen in some situations, but sometimes they won’t and weren’t meant to. Be patient and accept that relationship for what it is. And if your book doesn’t mature, be mature enough to recognize it and move on to another one until YOU are mature enough to come back to it and nurture it along to becoming that mature published novel.

much-respect-ronovan

 

 

 

Ron_LWI

 

 

 

 

 

@RonovanWrites

RonovanWrites onFacebook

followmeonbloglovin

 

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

© Copyright-All rights reserved by ronovanwrites.wordpress.com 2015

Is it a privilege too . . .

Is it a privilege too . . .

Straight Talk with Ronovan

I’m white.

You know for some that would be enough about an article with a title about ‘privilege’. But oh no. This is me after all. Have you ever seen me end a post after only five words? Not ever. So that’s how they came up with never. Some Southern person in Southern Britain said n’ever instead of not ever and there you have it.

It’s kind of like monback here in the States. We aren’t talking about some one humped backed man, nah, we’re telling people to come on back as in when they are backing up a car, “How much farther?” “Monback.”

I just proved my whiteness. Yes. If you ever doubted before, that just did it.

Am I about to tip toe through the garden of political correctness? Is PC land the ruler of Blog World? Do I pass by Taco Bell without salivating?

Ah, heck no!

I started this ‘privilege’ run on Obscured Dreamer where I help out. But here I am going to go another route. That’s right. I am taking a detour, the off ramp. I’m going through funky town, down electric avenue. Hey, it’s Friday and I have the 80s on the brain. And yeah, it’s randomness time too. And I am totally unedited right now.

You know why there is even a discussion about ‘white privilege’ in the U.S. of A. these days? I got two reasons for you. If I have more and it still says two here, that means I just got creative along the way and I didn’t make it back to change the number.

Okay, the reasons:

  • The Generational Responsibility-You see this is how I see it.

    And before I begin, remember I have some of my own unique ideas about things. Don’t judge my thoughts based on what you think I must be coming from. Word!

  • Okay back to  the GR thing-Before you think I mean that everyone in a generation is to be included in this . . . no. Stop, recognize and listen. You see what I am saying is that some people in a family teach the next generation there is either ‘privilege’ or perhaps ‘limitations’. Oh, yes. I went there. And guess what, people. It goes for every skin tone. “Oh, you can’t make it. Just don’t even try. You just follow up in the same way that I do. No one is going to give you a chance.” Say what? This is the U.S. of A., you got a chance if you make a chance. This country is so big that you can go anywhere and become anything. You are not tied down because of where you are from or who you are related to. oooooo I can hear it now. “Oh no he di’nt.” Oh yes I di’id. People in the U.S. of A. have a problem at times if you say they have a chance, especially if they have not ‘made it’ yet. In your face time-You ain’t makin’ it where you at, then move somewhere else. “Where am I going to get the money to go somewhere else?” Heck if I know. I just know people do it all the time. But you know one problem? People let themselves get so deep that they find it impossible to get out. Uh huh, I said it. We keep digging our hole and then we are so deep in it that we can’t climb out.
  • So another reason for the whole ‘white privilege’ discussion is dun dun dun politics-Yep, the politicos like to say the black problem or we need to work on black this or women’s that.Knock Knock, excuse me. Why don’t you just like freaking do stuff instead of talking about stuff and just generating even more divisions, huh? Seriously, dudes. Yeah, politics. You know the guys that live and die by divisions cause they can’t see their commonalities for their vocal differences.

“Ronovan’s on a rampage today. Watch out folks, please call 911 we think he hasn’t taken all of his medications or perhaps he’s taken too many.”

Nah, I’m good. As good as I get. Scary thought there, huh? But seriously, politicians like to make divisions because divide and concur. If they keep people apart then they keep people from realizing there are a lot more similarities than differences. If you are reading this and you have some type of skin tone issue, or a ‘we’re being held down’ issue, get the freak over it and help yourself and the next generation by getting your head straight.

“This educated white man is talking crazy”

This educated white man had to live with his grandmother in the projects behind the school in Mississippi. This educated white man used be taken to bars as a small child and put on pool tables to shoot pool as entertainment while his dreamer singer of a bio-father was on stage.

This educated white man was the first educated in his family . . . period. HELLO! Do you know why? Do you really want to know why? Because my mother and step father didn’t hold me to a generation thing. They wanted better for me, and you know what. Guess who paid for his own college education, at a major university? This educated white man. After busting his tail unloading trucks for several years and developing some of the physical problems that haunt him today.

Yeah, I’m straight talking today.  So if you have an issue with what I say, comment. I’m good with it. I like hearing other sides. It’s how we learn. But one thing to remember, these are my opinions.

Much Respect

Ronovan

ron_full_river - cropped

2014 © Copyright-All rights reserved by ronovanwrites.wordpress.com

My Boy ‘B’ and the ‘Safe Room’.

My boy ‘B’ was hysterical yesterday morning.

You know, kids are the greatest things ever when you have them. Not everyone has them, you know. So really I can’t say they are the greatest thing ever for everyone. For me they are.

Imagine alarms going off and you’re 10 years old and being rushed into a safe room.  Yes, a ‘safe room’. And you are 10 and you know it is called a ‘safe room’. ‘B’ is smart. I’ve mentioned that before. Now when I say smart, I don’t just mean the kind that every parent talks. The boy is actually gifted. Freaky smart. He does math in his head in a way that just freaks me out. He tries to explain it and I just stare at him and nod.

He had a teacher that said never try to fix what isn’t broken. He has a gift for it so leave him alone. No problem there, dudette.

But you know what? He’s 10 years old. We forget how our kids are kids these days. They are pushed to be older. People say, “You can’t protect them forever, you have to let them grow up sometime.” or “They can’t watch Public Television forever.”

Pardon me as I revert to a full blown parental mode for a moment. “Shut up, you freakin’ jerks!”

I’m better now. Can you believe I was told that I should let my, what, maybe 4 year old watch shows with guns in it, like violent cartoons and play with toy guns? That he had to learn sometime about guns? That is when my calmer Dad side came out, “When he is old enough to know the difference between real guns and toy guns, one that kills and one that looks real but squirts water, then he might play with toy guns or watch TV shows with a touch more animated violence.” The conversation ended there. It was made clear that parenting of my son was my business.

Do you want to know what ‘B’ watches on his own? He watches Public Television, yes the cartoons, because they are educational. Yes, he likes to learn about animals and dinosaurs and books. And guess what? He likes to watch This Old House and Antiques Road Show. I will walk through the room and he’s watching them discuss  a Civil War rifle and he starts telling me about it.

A child is a parent’s life. At least until they leave the house after graduating. At that point, so long, don’t come asking for money, and keep your laundry to yourself.

But at the age of 10 and 45 minutes from you, in a ‘safe room’ with alarms constantly sounding? The child is your life.

Yesterday . . . here, I was mostly fine . . . in this location. My son however ended up right in the line of fire . . . of a Tornado. Fortunately he got there before the bottom fell out of the sky.  Actually the bottom fell out before he got there but was close enough.

Of course my day was spent watching the weather maps. Checking for what it was like when it was time for him to leave. He left his school about 20 minutes before another Tornado came through. Fortunately he was picked up about 30 minutes early.

Why am I telling you all of this? Well this is my blog, and this is where I share things. I used to keep all of this inside so he wouldn’t see the worry, and I still do. You see I am the calm one. I am the one that doesn’t make a big deal out of things. How that is, I have no idea? But apparently I have this thing with kids, even though I never really liked them much. Unless you are a child that I call my own, I tend not to really like you much. No, that’s not quite right. I simply do not seek out your attention.

So what happens? I am like that person that can’t stand cats who visits a person with a cat. The cat can tell something is not right. It knows you are paying it extra attention for some reason so it decides to give you extra attention.

When I would be in a classroom of 1rst grade students, if I sat down there would be one in my lap in seconds. Now I love little girls. What man does not want a little Daddy’s girl? But that’s a big uh uh. So here I am, Fibromyalgia and Osteoarthritis, not knowing any of that yet, and having to stand for 8 hours.

Yes, I look like a big red teddy bear.

So I have rambled a bit longer than I intended, not that I intended to ramble. And now I am at the end.

Kids are great. When you get mad at your kid, and you know you will, think of ‘safe room’ and your child being led away to a ‘safe room’. Then decide if you are still mad.

 

Much Respect

ron_full_river - cropped

 

 

 

 

Ronovan

Yep, the buttons are up and over if you want to follow me anywhere.

2014 © Copyright-All rights reserved by ronovanwrites.wordpress.com

Monster-in-Law

Oh Lord, please don’t tell Amanda I reblogged this one. She tells it like it is about her ummm “Monster”-in-law, her words not mine. I bet some of us can relate. @AmandaLyle86