Love is…

“Love is when the other person’s happiness is more important than your own.” Loretta Young

I found this to be an interesting quote. At first I saw it from one side as an unselfish act, but then I began to wonder. What if your focus on their happiness deprives them of something? What if they want to make you happy? Now you are happy because you make them happy, but they are the ones that want to give you happiness. How difficult is it to have someone understand that their enjoyment of whatever it is that you are doing makes you happy and that’s it?

I have that dilemma. You see, I am a happiness giver. I think it’s partially because I don’t know how to accept the giving of happiness. Seeing someone happy because of something I do makes me happy. So am I making myself happy or are they by enjoying it making me happy?

Who is the happiness giver?

You see, my problem is I think too much. However, I see thinking too much better than not thinking enough. Eventually I figure it out. I realize that regardless of who is doing what that as long as both people end up happy, that’s what’s important. Sometimes, my accepting happiness makes the other person happy, and that is what love is. Even though I may not quite understand the receiving of it, I know it makes the other person happy, so I go along with it and enjoy the fact they are happy, thus I’m giving them joy.

How’s your head so far? I’ve had to unclench my jaw three time so far making my way through this one.

If you are going through the same situation, just relax and take happiness as it comes. It’s not a turn taker either. Just do it.


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On Writing.

“To write great you must read greater.” Ronovan Hester

Ronovan Hester To Write Great you must Read Greater image.

To write greater, read these:

Dancing to an Irish Reel by Claire Fullerton

Dancing to an Irish Reel by Claire Fullerton

The Judas Apocalypse by Dan McNeil

Dan McNeil Author

Sex & Samosas by Jasmine Aziz

Sex and Samosas by Jasmine Aziz image

10 #Books for #Christmas #Gifts from my #Reviews this year.

Looking for a last minute present for Christmas?

Want a great book?

Need a gift to put you into that FREE Shipping range?

Here are my suggestions from my reviews this year. Click the links for the reviews. Or click the book image to go to Amazon.

10 Book Ideas for Christmas

Dancing to an Irish Reel by Claire FullertonLiterary Fiction, Ireland, Contemporary

#Book Review of Dancing to an Irish Reel by @cfullerton3

“You might at times want to hit Liam over the head with something, like his accordion, but then, he is a man, it’s love, and he’s young, so what else would you expect? And that is one thing that makes this book real and allows the reader to connect with it. No one is perfect in the book. “

The Judas Apocalypse by Dan McNeilHistorical Fiction, Adventure, Archaeology, WWII

The Judas Apocalypse by @DanMcNeil888 “At times his encounters are humorous, deadly, and explosive.”

“He’s been referred to as the new Dan on the block of historical fiction conspiracy theories. I don’t agree. Dan McNeil handles his subject with a better hand than Brown ever has. Yeah, sure, you want to knock him across the room at times but who doesn’t want to read something that gets them on an emotional level at times? If you want a fluff read, skip this review. McNeil isn’t about fluff.”

Sex and Samosas book cover by Author Jasmine AzizMarriage, Relationships, Humor, Self Discovery

#Book Review by @RonovanWrites of Sex & Samosas by Author @JasmineAziz

“Nothing is perfect. Sex isn’t perfect like a scripted movie. Things happen, and man, I am still dying over the what I call ‘on fire’ part of the book.”

Jesus vs. Santa: Christmas Misunderstood by Jason E. RoyleChristian, Inspiration, and Parenting.

Jesus vs. Santa: Christmas Misunderstood by @JERoyle #Book Review by @RonovanWrites

“You’ll learn where the answer to how we handle the issue of Santa with our kids begins. A great deal of what you find in Jesus vs. Santa you can use in everyday life with not only your children, but yourself as well.”

jason royle

Judas: Hero Misunderstood by @JERoyle

“The style he chose to use is contemporary in the use of language and symbolism in order for anyone today to relate and connect to the story. Unlike many other takes that are similar to what Royle has done you don’t get a preachy style. At the very end, after the story is all done and over with, you receive a look at passages from the Bible to show you what may or may not bring credence to what Royle has written.”

alesha escobarFantasy, Vampires, WWII, Magic, Wizards, Adult

#Book #Review of The Tower’s Alchemist The Gray Tower Trilogy Book 1 by Alesha Escobar @The_GrayTower

“Isabella George is not your typical spy. For one she’s a female spy in WWII sneaking in to German occupied France. Yes, there were female spies but not the norm in literature of this type. And for another thing, she’s a wizard. Her mission in this first book of the Gray Tower Trilogy is to find and bring home the wizard creating a chemical weapon for the Nazis. But would it be a book worth a Trilogy if it were that simple?”

Levant Mirage by Oliver F. ChaseAction, Adventure, Terroists

Levant Mirage by @OliverFChase “It’s so possible, it’s scary.” #Book Review

“Levant Mirage takes snapshots from the headlines of the past few years to build a character and combines it with frighteningly realistic possibilities to give a story you pray never happens.”

Close Up on Murder by Linda TownsdinMystery, Suspense

Close Up on Murder by Linda Townsdin @ltownsdin. A #BookReview.

“Levant Mirage takes snapshots from the headlines of the past few years to build a character and combines it with frighteningly realistic possibilities to give a story you pray never happens.”

ali isaac jane doughertyIrish Mythology, Folklore, Short Story Collection

#BookWorm @RonovanWrites Review Grá mo Chroí Love Stories from Irish Myth @aliisaac_ & @MJDougherty33

“The stories are of love and tragedy and more. I felt while reading the stories I was reading not about people in a book, or about love between two people and what befalls them but the love of a people for their homeland and their culture and the tragedies they faced throughout the ages. Yes, it hit me where it hurt, or it felt. Got me in the heart. “

A Haiku Perspective by Annette Rochelle AbenPoetry, Haiku

New Book! A Haiku Perspective by Annette Rochelle Aben @YouAreTheExpert

“Welcome to my haiku perspective on life. It is easy to enjoy this book because haiku flows, which means it can be experienced effortlessly. Perhaps reading this book will open up some creative energy within you and if so, you will share your haiku as well. Those who live to express themselves with words, craft a world using the alphabet, are giving life to imagination and thought.”

© Copyright-All rights reserved by litworldinterviews.com 2015

Impressions-Like Sand or Cement.

I’ve been working on my Romance novel and thoughts as I lay in bed last night, attempting to go to sleep, led me to impressions. Just so all of you are aware, my brain works in odd ways and chases what some in the world call rabbits. Rabbits are something you want to see, perhaps catch, even just for a photo, but will take you far away from where you once were.

For me, rabbit chasing has always been a philosophical adventure.

As I lay there thinking about one of my characters the idea of that person’s impression on others rattled around in my head. Then I began wondering about the kinds of impressions are made.

Where I ended up next is beyond me.

Some impressions are like the impressions you see as you walk along the beach in the evening. The footsteps you travel along beside with the deep heel, shallow toes and slightly kicked up bit of packed bits of all the things that make up that sand. You think about how interesting they look, wonder who made them, how lonely they look alone in their single file. Come the next morning you return to the beach and find that after a night of sleep the impressions are gone. They have been washed away by time and by nature.

Some people are like that. They pass through your life without leaving but a momentary impression. There was nothing in the impression to stay with you. A single file of footprints in an evening beach will be seen again, and not made by the same person, on a beach far away.

Then there are the impressions in your backyard. A frame was set up—the right mixture of materials of dry to wet—smoothening of the cement—patience for the cement to set up just right—then you are brought out as a child and your feet and hands are pressed into the wet but firm cement. You are now set.

Time was taken to make that impression. Time was taken to set it firmly in place. Julius Charles Hare ImpressionsCare was taken to make certain everything was just right in order you would be a part of that world for as long as possible. There would be no overnight washing away of these prints.

I thought about impressions this morning during a conversation. The impressions we leave with our children. Those impressions are like an artist with a chisel. With each strike we leave our mark—our impression—on their minds, hearts, lives. Do we leave the impression of always being there and loving them and doing what it takes to get it ‘right’ or instead do we reinforce the impression of not caring, not being bothered to do something, thinking of ourselves first?

“The mind is like a sheet of white paper in this, that the impressions it receives the oftenest, and retains the longest, are black ones.” Julius Charles Hare

With each strike of our hammer into the chisel we set our impressions in place with our children and with those we interact with. What impression do you want to leave? Do you care what impression you leave? Have you sat back and thought about the impression you have made, are making, will leave?

This was written for my #BeWoW (Be Wonderful on Wednesday share) and for the Writer’s Quote Wednesday hosted by Colleen Chesebro of SilverThreading.Com. Click her site link if the Writer’s Quote Wednesday does not have a link in it directly to her post for the day yet. You simply ping back to her post or copy and paste your link there. You do the same with your #BeWoW posts to here if you have one. Not familiar with a ping back? Click here to find out how.

Much Respect-Much Love

Ronovan

Ron_LWIRonovan is an author, and blogger who shares his life as an amnesiac and Chronic Pain sufferer though his blog RonovanWrites.WordPress.com. His love of poetry, authors and community through his online world has lead to a growing Weekly Haiku Challenge and the creation of a site dedicated to book reviews, interviews and author resources known as LitWorldInterviews.WordPress.com.

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

@RonovanWrites

 © Copyright-All rights reserved by ronovanwrites.wordpress.com 2015

RonovanWrites #Haiku #Poetry #Prompt Challenge #Review 61

Week 61 was for the words Wine & Tears. I came up with the prompt words from a spur of the moment thought I had in a melancholy mood and I shared it on Twitter. I liked the way the words turned out after reading them the next day and they became the starting point for the example or opening Haiku of the Challenge. Laughter can do miracles. It’s my go-to for any situation and usually works to get people I know into a better frame of mind and realize all is not lost or hopeless or as bad as they think.

The Closing Haiku

With a wine red nose,

The clown made the people laugh,

While tears flowed inside.

Click Here for the Image version I created today and posted earlier.

Everyone, please try to visit all the poets you can for a show of support. Also share this Review in whatever way you can in order for all to get as much Social Media coverage as possible and perhaps be visited by someone new.

If you have been keeping up with the links in the Challenge comments in order, after you check out the new this week section, why not try working your way up from the bottom. That way you may visit people you’ve never met before.



New to the Challenge this Week:

NEW! Shelly Faber: No Rest For Me | My Red Wine Diary. Yes, that’s the name of her blog. Is that like so appropriate? “I look forward to sharing this precious practice. My stories, poetry, and thoughts relate to experiences I have learned from, and feel privileged, to be a part of, in my personal, and, professional life.” That is from her About page, but what did it say her career profession was? Click here to find out. Very interesting. Seriously. @ShellyFaber

NEW! Alice: Fade the Pain | Boomerang Zone. So the Haiku title is mine, and it is a take on the words she used in the Haiku. Funny. I did a take on her words when she did a take on my prompt words. Okay, maybe not that funny, but loved how this was put together. Great words. I like it when different words are used in great ways. By different I mean not the usual everyday words. Alice has been here before, but it has been a while and it was not quite as formally done as this, so it’s an offical welcome time here. “I am a Dutch non-practicing lawyer/human rights defender. I work on unsolved homicides, wrongful convictions, and assist other human rights defenders and attorneys when requested. This is my personal blog.” Notice she said that it’s her personal blog. Seriously check out the rest of this about page entry for her other blog and why it was named one of the Top 100 Blawgs by a certain American Association. I kid you not. Click here to check out the About. @Vidocq_CC

NEW! Colette B.  Wine along | The Wishing Well. Ha, a play on words AND RHYMES! ‘The Wishing Well’ (previously Bedressed, then Bubblicious) has come a long way during August’s Blogging101 course and I’ve enjoyed the journey. There’s still a long way to go, but now we’re travelling in a well-equipped jeep rather than a saddle-packed donkey. As with any vehicle, there’s re-fuelling needs, maintenance checks / tasks and undergoing some hopeful improvements and further learning progression.” And that’s just the beginning of her About page?



First to Arrive This Week:

Faith Unlocked: Come Taste the New Wine | Faith Unlocked. If there had been any other type of message in this Haiku I would have been surprised. I was only waiting to see how it was done. And there was no disappointment. And 32 other people agreed with me. @FaithUnlocked



TJ Paris: Early but Too Late | La vie est trop courte pour boire du mauvais vin. Yeah, I know, the blog title is a mouthful, but if you think we have a hard time saying it, try it with a mouth of Early 21st Century Cake. As for the title? I came up with that from not only the Haiku but the description of the photo used. As always you know we’re going to get something creative from this entry. Entry #2 In Vino Veritas. Looks like TJ has begun Writing 101 through Blogging U. Will be interesting to see what he comes up with.  @Roccoco_a_GoGo

Annette Rochelle Aben (Best Selling Author, Radio Show Host): Fond Memories | Annette Rochelle Aben. That’s my title for her Haiku and I’m sticking with it. I just hope PETA doesn’t get hold of this one. Annette will have some ‘splainin’ to do. Click the Author link for Annettes books on Amazon and the Radio Show Host link for just ONE of her shows. @YouAreTheExpert

Judy: Bad Blood | Edwina’s Episodes. The title I gave this week is implied somewhat by the Haiku. I get a sense of initial conniving followed by realization. As I pondered a title friendship came to mind and the colors in the image used, and a take on the prompt words and that led me to Taylor Swift’s song Bad Blood. There is a story behind the song about friendship. @EdwinasEpisodes

Carol: Affair to Forget | Mama Cormier. Two Haiku that one reader noted was an affair in two Haiku. Thus I decided on the title. For me it would have been Moutain Dew cola at Taco Bell instead of the setting in the image she used. 🙂 @Carol_Cormier

Mira: let go | They, You, and Me. Nice. Romantic, sexy, sad, all rolled into one. Entry #2 love story… | To Wear a Rainbow. This one is actually two. @BediMona

Olga: Do Not Enter | Stuff and what if… The title is more of a take not so much on our not allowed in but what else is not able to.

Jane Dougherty (Author): Wine Glasses, Tossed and What Not | Jane Dougherty Writes. Three Haiku. I had a good theme going for a title but one of these was not like the other. But I tossed the title together anyway. Check out Jane’s books on Amazon at the Author link above. @MJDougherty33

Ritu: Dutty Wine Glass | But I Smile Anyway. Well, I learned a new song today. Now I am trying to picture Ritu in the one of the Haiku she wrote. If I tried that I would so not be able to move ever again. (still picturing…) @PhantomGiggler

Kat: Buzzin’ | Like Mercury Colliding… So with a prompt like tears and wine do you really need an explanation of my title for this Haiku?

Alka: To drown in Wine and Poetry | Magnanimous Words. That title would make a great blog title . . . and I didn’t come up with it. 🙂 All Alka. Now who in the world would think of creating an image like that is beyond me, but it worked. I didn’t know they drank. But now I do. @girally

Sue Vincent (Author): Rosé | Daily Echo. Have to say, this lady has a following. People loved this Haiku. Very nice use of the prompt words. Very poetic, as it should be. Nice. Click the Author link for Sue at Amazon and her many books. @SCVincent

Janice: Heart Torn | Ontheland. I think this one does a great job of playing with the words. This could be about romance broken, love lost, or a  musician’s life. @ontheland1

Jen: Twisted Vine | The Secret Keeper. Very nice. Bit of mythology with a two meaning Haiku structure. The painting shared goes well with the Haiku created, and fits the prompt words perfectly. @occultguardian

Steven: Vineyard | Ramblings of a Drabbling Mind. Quite poetic with the words this week. I know poetic in a Poetry Challenge should be a duh thing but sometimes the offerings are very poetic. I would explain it but the more I read it the more the words begin to jumble. 🙂

Clarence: Taste of Wine | Prairie Chat. Clarence has been letting his inner romantic out lately. He doesn’t disappoint this week.

Sandra: View | Wild Daffodil. Combining the two challenges she likes to do, this one and Bluedaisyz Weekly photo challenge, we get a amazing photo that goes perfectly with the Haiku. I just hope they made it back okay. Nice to see where you’ve been as long as you can still make it to where you’re going. 🙂

Denis1950: Sunset Over Wine | Haiku Hound. Okay, the two Haiku are great. But when you put your photos of those sunsets of over the bay with those boats masts silhouetted…WOW. Great combinations all around.

Al: Full Seasoned | All the Author’s Blog. Well, he says the prompts spoke to him, and I believe him. 7 Haiku, 4 Titles, 1 narrative. Yeah, they spoke to him. @AlistairLane

Amy: Recovery | Haiku of a Homeschooler. I enjoy those Haiku that have a deep personal meaning. When the author shares that meaning and allows you to enter into that world of emotion with them, it is something special. This is one of those. The title is mine, but the Haiku gave it to me. @me_the_seeker

Meredith & Martha: Wine brings forth the truth | Meredith’s Musings. As you know, if you are a regular, we have four Haiku this week from our Angels. The one title is mine to somewhat sum up the feel I get from what they shared. First there are Frivolity & Lachrymose from Meredith and then Red, Red, Wine & Obloquy from Martha. You know, when you need a dictionary to read the Haiku you know you are in over your head. 🙂 The ladies went all out this week. @Meredithlbl

R Todd: Watercolor Ponies | A Flash of Fiction. This is the day for videos inspire or Haiku inspire video selections. A very sad Haiku. I may be dropping into a depression bout now. Read on at your own risk, unless I take a break. @psibrone

Shida: Another Option | 876Lover. I think this may be what they call Jamaican Rules. Not sure why but I want to say her blog theme or layout has changed since she first joined us. I’ve seen it like this before but I like the color and all. @realrebel_r

Becky: Peace Like Wine | Becky G? Oh, That’s Me. Nice twist here. I like those peaceful inspiring Haiku, especially when doing the review. (And now while doing it and my boy “B” ‘playing’ his trumpet he just got on Friday.)

Elizabeth: the solution | Tea And Paper. Ah, nice. Makes me wonder if it would make it worse. 🙂 And I wonder that because of some of the other Haiku I’ve read, but it seems like most of them would agree with Elizabeth. @Teandpaper

Geoff Le Pard (Author): The Problem Solver | TanGental. At first you think, “Oh no, he got it wrong.” Then you are like he suckered us. But he’s an author, so what do you expect. Click the Author link to go to Amazon. @geofflepard

Nato: Tears Flow Like a Dry Wine | Chasing Life and Finding Dreams. Obviously well done, but the message. Sad. @MichelleLunato

Pat B: Satin Like Wine | A season and a time. Sounds like minutes after the prom or home coming dance. 🙂

VronLacroix: Sadness | Simply Snapshots. ooooo, very nice use of wine here. Excellent. I like it.

Greg: Pouring Out | Potholes in the Road of Lfe. I wonder how many people will get the meaning of this one. 🙂 @greg_wolford

Maylian: For Tears and Wine | Personal Self Perfection. Two Haiku this week. You know, I’m not sure why people are talking so much about wine causing or curing tears in their Haiku this week so much. 🙂

Serins: Turn With the Wind | Serins Sphere. Poetic. (If you haven’t picked up on it by now, that’s a big compliment from me.) Very good use of the prompts and phrasing. Very image inducing. @SerinsSphere

Shailzaa: The Plunge | Fewunsaidwords. You know, if you think about it, after this is over with, The Plunger might end up being appropriate. 🙂 Oh I slay me sometimes. And you people thought I had lost my sense of humor this week. Hrmph.

Vashti Quiroz-Vega (Author): Happy Tears | The Writer Next Door. Nice story behind this one. 🙂 She even managed to plug her debut novel The Basement. Check it out on Amazon by clicking the Author link above. @VashtiQV

Colleen: Sutter Home | Silver Threading. You know, I wonder what the yesterday is referring to here. Could be wine or tears. Very well done. Check out Colleen as part of the LitWorldInterviews team by clicking here to see her book reviews. @ColleenChesebro

Ruby: Unsated, we burn | Whispering Thoughts. Nice. Wow. You guys have to go read this one for sure and see the art.

Florence: Woman as Wine | Meanings and Musings. Well, Florence is afraid people will think she is a drinker, when she’s not. She can’t touch the stuff really. But this Haiku seemed to me more about woman than wine. At least that’s how I read it. Check out Colleen as part of the LitWorldInterviews team by clicking here to see her book reviews. @FTThum

E. Rawls (Author): Singing Dwarf & Crucified | Rawls E. Fantasy. Two for the return of the one called E. or Rawls. or maybe Rawls E. Hmm Rawlsy. Rowdy Rawlsy. Stop me now…please. Seriously. Okay. I’m good now. Check out Bleeding Hearts, a collection of short stories, poems, and riddles, at Elizabeth’s Author page on Amazon by clicking the Author link above.  @VChronicles_

Juliette: More Vino Please | Battered Wife seeking Better Life. Two Haiku this week. She said her first one isn’t a proper Haiku, but I don’t see anything wrong with it. I think she tells a story of many lives in our Challenge without even knowing it. She would be surprised. @BWseeingBL

Marje: Lost and Alone Tears & Tears of Sweetest Joy | Kyrosmagica. Stories to go with Haiku, love those. The last one is very interesting. I read this earlier but for some reason it didn’t make it on my review at first. No idea why. Brain fade I guess. Sorry Marje! @Marjorie_Mallon

stu06bloc9: Drops Holy | Pitter Patter Poetry. A deep entry this week. Not only as far as placement but in meaning. I think people will take away several thoughts about this one.
And the closing Video. You didn’t think I could do these prompt words and not use this video did you?

Much Respect-Much Love

Ronovan



Ron_LWIRonovan is an author, and blogger who shares his life as an amnesiac and Chronic Pain sufferer though his blog RonovanWrites.WordPress.com. His love of poetry, authors and community through his online world has lead to a growing Weekly Haiku Challenge and the creation of a site dedicated to book reviews, interviews and author resources known as LitWorldInterviews.WordPress.com.

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

@RonovanWrites

 © Copyright-All rights reserved by ronovanwrites.wordpress.com 2015

 

No Bridge Too Far.

Thinking of the prompt words for my Haiku Challenge this week, I encourage you to join with the great group of poets/bloggers, my evil mind came up with this week I kept thinking of how the word bridge united two worlds. Those worlds could be any two life systems this planet possesses.

I’m staying positive in these thoughts. I’m considering the world of love today. How often have you seen that true love in your life only to say it is impossible or too much trouble to achieve happiness? How often do you say it just wasn’t meant to be, or maybe you don’t deserve it?

For some it could actually be a physical distance. Maybe even other obstacles combined with that distance. Is ultimate love and happiness worth  a going the extra miles, giving the extra effort, or perhaps even going through that miles and miles of pain knowing love is waiting at the end?

Is there a bridge too far for you?

A bridge too far is

A path you’ve never taken,

Could change your future.

To see the image at its best, click it.

haiku poem image

 

Much Respect-Much Love

Ronovan

Ron_LWIRonovan is an author, and blogger who shares his life as an amnesiac and Chronic Pain sufferer though his blog RonovanWrites.WordPress.com. His love of poetry, authors and community through his online world has lead to a growing Weekly Haiku Challenge and the creation of a site dedicated to book reviews, interviews and author resources known as LitWorldInterviews.WordPress.com.

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

@RonovanWrites

 © Copyright-All rights reserved by ronovanwrites.wordpress.com 2015

Our life, our story

Very wise.

MEANINGS AND MUSINGS

Recreate the story of our life

© 2015 Copyright reserved. The author asserts her moral and legal rights over this work.

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London Adventures

I guess without a computer I could become a full-time reblogger but I don’t think would keep me going. However, this article from Suzie helps and I wanted to share. I wanted to say her writing style has changed slightly since her career change and there is more joy in my friend from England and her writing has developed into something richer and even more relatable than it was, if that is possible. I love the photos of London and her real description of a trip. I felt as though I were there.

Suzie Speaks

image

The Bloke and I have very different opinions on what constitutes as ‘a holiday.’ Give me a beach, a pool, a bar and glorious sunshine and I’m happy. He needs things to see and do. I like to adopt my inner vegetable and lay like broccoli, while he’s a ‘get up and go’ type.

We both, however, have a common love of London, and we try and visit as many times a year as we possibly can. Booked in advance, train tickets are very cheap and the journey is only an hour and a half, so getting there relatively easy. There’s something about it that we both connect with – the architecture, history and the atmosphere is wonderful, and over the years we have joined the millions of tourists with our cameras to experience everything the city has to offer.

Last Saturday I was attending the Annual Bloggers Bash, so…

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#TimHawkins a #ManTruth.

Tim Hawkins is a comedian who happens to be a Christian. This means usually family friendly comedy. The guy is hilarious. Here he is in a 2 minute clip about marriage conflict resolution and texting.

My Declaration of Independence from . . .

It’s a bit late in the day to be writing my Independence Day letter. I hadn’t planned on doing one, or maybe I did, I’m not really certain. But I’ve learned something over the past year or so and that is if I don’t let something out, it will keep eating at me and I can’t rest. So here it all goes.

Revolutionary WarThe Gadsden Flag from the Revolutionary war.
Nothing to do with any political group for this post purpose or ever.

My Declaration of Independence from . . .

I will no longer be strangled by heart strings. Those that I love know the one way to get to me is through the heart. Well that is over. Attempts to guilt me into things just won’t work any longer. Those that try it obviously don’t love me enough to love me as I am. And it’s not about choosing between either or.

Blog writing will be more open and honest and maybe in your face on issues. I’m tired of keeping quiet like the good little roll over Christian boy. I’ll voice my views, just as my friends do, and expect the same respect I show them in not commenting negatively about it. As everyone knows, I don’t stoop to petty bickering. And my Christian articles are well thought out and polite. They don’t attack anyone.

I love. I love hard. And I love faithfully.

I will no longer feel guilty about not remembering people. Some blog friends and real life people over the past year have disappeared from my memory not too long ago because of illness and stress. Nothing I could do about it, nothing that can be changed about it.

High maintenance, and emotionally needy people need not apply at my door. I’m a good friend, but I can only handle so much these days. I will do my best but the surest way to stress me out is to be a needy Ned or Nelly. Harsh, I know, but I’m just laying it out there. Stress will only lead to more memory problems. I already lose memories after sleeping too such as days in bed while in a Fibromyalgia Flare. I try hard to hang on to the memories I have.

These are the hard things one has to do in order to help themselves. These are the choices to have peace of mind and maybe someday peace of heart. I don’t know if that last one will ever happen because of some of those choices up there. If people I love don’t want to love me for me alone then so be it. Call me selfish if you like.

I do my best every day to bring a positive message to my blog and my world. It is much more difficult than anyone may realize. But I keep doing it every day. And I will keep doing it every day.

I’m done.

Ronovan

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© Copyright-All rights reserved by ronovanwrites.wordpress.com 2015

#100WordWisdom Silence Wins the Day.

Know your adversary. How to learn your adversary? You observe them. And how do you observe? You remain silent.

Silence is an unsung hero of many battles. Silence is maddening to a fool. Silence is maddening to the arrogant. Silence is the enemy of your foe.

The more you refrain from engaging in banter with the witless, the more foolish your foe seems, because the more they talk the more truth people see. People watching see a deteriorating mind who rants on and on against someone who speaks not an inflammatory word.

In the long run, silence wins the day.

(Remember #BeWoW is Tomorrow.)

Much Love, Success, and Respect

Ronovan

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© Copyright-All rights reserved by ronovanwrites.wordpress.com 2015

Wisdom in 100 Words for Today: Say You love them.

I thought I would start something a little new here.

100 Word Wisdom: Say You Love Them.

It’s the idea of sharing a piece of advice in 100 words. If it takes longer than that it’s too much for most people to listen to anyway. And yes, the following is exactly 100 words.

 

Tell the one you love you love them. Never have the attitude of “they know I do”. Often times, relationships die out because of a lack of communication, yeah, I know, an old cliché. You know why cliché’s are clichés, because they happen often enough for people to say them that much.

Communication doesn’t even need to be words. A touch, a smile, a look, an action of some kind will tell a person you love them. But actions and words need to work together to form a truth. One without the other is like a yin without a yang.

(As suggested in the comments below this will now be a weekly blog event everyone can join in and share. Much like my #BeWoW, just share your link in the comments of my post on Tuesdays and if you tweet use #100WordWisdom so like minded people can see and RT your Wisdom. Thanks to Lori Carlson of The Rattling Bones blog for the nudge. Follow her on Twitter )

Much Respect

Ronovan

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Sands of Our Lives

 

poem-sands-of-our-lives

 

Think to yourself, do you know what I’m asking
Do I give you your dreams, through your rose colored eyes
Clearing your mind, with each breath that you’re taking
Can you break with a smile, through the sands of our lives

 
Hearts are breaking, in distant worlds of wonder
Why does it have to be, though for years it has been
Shaking the hold, with a moment of thunder
Can you see the days, know you always will win

 
Temporary moments of silence and solo
Does it matter if quiet rules over the day
What does it matter as long as we both know
We’re going together in the same along way

 
I want the minutes to pass like lightning
With seconds non-existent in time of the realm
Reality breaks me into pieces somewhat frightening
But I pull myself up nothing to me overwhelm

 
You may miss the every second of every moment
When I fall down and cannot get up to stand
But don’t worry about me breaking I’m only gently bent
I’m fine as long as there is a glimmer, a hint, a strand

 
Hope is the future of a wasted past’s happenings
Future is the hope of a today’s receding sands of the shore
Never give up on me as I ramble in blatherings
I’ll be here and there through the music of our hearts’ beat score

 

Much Love, Much Respect

Ronovan

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5 Ways to Connect with Your Children #1000Speak

Connecting with people is something you have to work at. Okay, so it comes naturally for some people. This article is being written with the 1000 voices speak for compassioncurrent 1000 Voices for Compassion theme of Connection in mind. Oddly it goes along with something I’ve been thinking of for some time now and carries over from something I wrote previously in my Let your Kids be them and not you.

I’m not a strong connector these days, and haven’t been for the past couple of years. I was prior to that but now I am more of a recluse. That being said, there are people you can’t and shouldn’t be a recluse from—Your Children.

I look at a lot of problems today and I personally believe a lot of them could have been prevented if a good and healthy connection had been established and maintained between the parent and child. Notice I said a “good and healthy” connection.

My son goes to school before I get up in the mornings. Often times I am asleep when he comes home. Chronic Fatigue is part of my Fibromyalgia so I really have no control over when I will drop off and sleeping problems mess things up as well. Thus, when I am with my son I need to make certain there is that connection. It may be only a look or a couple of words but there needs to be something positive and building going on.

5 Ways Parents Connect To Their Children

  1. Be Less Self: I know you don’t think of yourself as begin selfish but when you consider that very often you are molding your child to be what you want them to be instead of what they should be, you are being selfish. This is in regards to utilization of talents and intellect. We should all try to mold our children into being good people, so don’t even think about going off on me about that.
  2. Listen: Children like to talk, IF they have parents that like to listen. You may not like to listen—Pretend. Listen to your child and respond to them. Acknowledge you have heard what they said. Your child will grow in confidence, social abilities and even vocabulary.
  3. Be Aware: Paying attention to your child will give you ideas and clues about their likes, dislikes, desires, goals, wishes. You will see where they thrive. I know my son. From the time he could stand and throw a ball, and I mean literally just that, he could throw a strike down the hallway to me. I knew then that baseball would be the sport he would thrive at. Did I push him to it? No. I personally wanted him to play football, but through the years I changed my mind. Knowing my son, I see that he likes to know what his assignment is, do his assigned task and still be a part of a team. Also he is not a very aggressive type physically. Football is out. Basketball? He’s tried it and it is mayhem at his age because other kids don’t do their assigned tasks on the team. But baseball? He is the starting outfielder his first year playing. I mean that as in they put him where they know a team hits to most. He is also the clean-up hitter. That means he is their power hitter. His first year playing. I also can pick out a book I know he will like. Why? Because he is like me and I’ve noticed it. He likes non-fiction books and will be watching a documentary on public television he turned to.
  4. Patient: Here is a big one. Patience is a hard thing to be at times. But if you are a screamer, a yeller, you will not connect with your child. And if you are a physical punisher to a bit of the extreme, you will definitely not connect. I know that one personally. Kids do dumb things at times. You will think your kid is mature one moment and then do something completely their age the next and it will make you so mad. Just remember their age and take deep breaths and count to a million.
  5. Affectionate: Here is another tough one, especially for a lot of men. Hug your child, no matter their age. Why? So you can teach them hugging and being affectionate is normal and a hug is a sign of love. Left on their own and without a role model, they will turn elsewhere. Hugging will turn into something not simply meant as a sign of love and affection for someone. Also words are signs of affection. Tell your child you love them. Tell them you are proud of them for random things. Or maybe say “That was awesome” to something random. Don’t reserve those words for good grades or athletic achievements.

Connecting with your child teaches them to connect with others and that takes care of a lot of things out there. You may not realize it but they are learning all those things you are doing, each of those five things I mentioned above, simply by observing what you are doing. They know you are listening, they know you are being patient.

By modeling for them these characteristics we are helping the future.

Duke-Tip-Award

 

Much Respect

Ronovan

 

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Losing it. What do I do?

There’s a saying that goes something like, “You don’t know what you got till it’s gone.” For about two years I’ve kind of laughed at that phrase. For some of us, when something is gone we don’t even know what it was which means we don’t miss it.

I’ve been fine with it. I go through each day with a new loss flittering away and I feel fine. That’s because I don’t know what flitters away. Okay, so I know something is likely being lost. I’m aware that memories are lost.

Normally I don’t stress about it because stressing leads to other problems. Recently a memory loss, a huge one, became evident—with vigor.

I’ll explain an “other” problem for a moment. Depression. Well, I don’t know that it really needs to be explained. We all know what depression is. When a memory goes away and I then have people forcing that memory back in my head, or trying to get it back in there, things happen. The brain snaps. I actually at some point feel a pop in my head. I am sure it’s not really anything physical, only a psychological representation of what is happening.

When that happens, Ronovan is gone for a time.

My huge memory loss recently led to such a situation. I would think things were going fine, then wham, another hit from a different side. Lulled into things being okay. Wham, another hit. Rinse and repeat. Rinse and repeat.

Now, here I am, depressed, physically ill, and looking for the learning lesson of it all.

Memory problems make for a bad emotional entity. They also make for a bad relationship of any type. You wake up and you don’t know if that person who is your friend, spouse, significant other, father figure is still going to be that for you.

Who is it fair to in that situation? As I’ve been writing this I’ve been sorting through it all. I suppose the best thing is if it’s a repeat offender status thing, cut and run if the situation allows for it. I know live in family members can’t do that but there are things you can do.

Accept the memory loss person (MLP) for who they are, knowing what is possible.

Be supportive in the efforts of the MLP to handle it. Think for a moment about this. You wake up, or are even going along writing or watching a video and then—WHAM—you don’t know what day it is, or what city you are in, or who that person in the other room is. Ever wonder how a person handles that each day?

Think about being in the middle of a sentence and forgetting who it is across the table from you. In this age of internet and digital conversations and friendships it’s even more difficult to remember without those constant physical/visual cues.

People might find it surprising that I wake up and have forgotten the people in my house. Or I will go through one of those situations above. My body goes through a routine each morning and I discover what my problems are and I just go with it. I’ve told myself in letters not to stress, that I am normal. This is normal for me. I tell myself to begin to write something from a list of projects I’m working on.

Sometimes memories will come back or at least enough of a familiarity to make things fine or functionable. Yeah, another of my made up words.

What about the other person, the person forgotten?

What would I do if I were on the other end of this?

I honestly can’t answer that with an all encompassing solution. I think patience is part of it, understanding, and you know maybe even just cut and run. I know people balk at that last one but it is an option. But that is the option people will focus on here because it is seen as the uncaring, cold idea and how could I even think of telling someone to do that if a person cared about the MLP or of the MLP cares about the person.

I’ve been living with this for two years. You get to the point, where after having written about it, thought about it, and lived through it, you cut through it all to the heart or heartless of it all and give solutions.

And what about the MLP? Should they keep trying to remember, opening themselves up to an emotional tug-of-war to then either go through the loss again, perhaps not knowing it, or then being shut off once a connection is established again?

What do I do?

I have no one answer for myself. Perhaps I should, it would make my life easier. Can a person live a life, a healthy life mentally without people? I suppose they can but I’m not that far gone yet.

Now, for those who look at my writing and things I share each day and think I seem normal and I have all these friendships and all, the MLP has tricks they use to get by. Don’t call out the MLP for this if you still want to be a part of their life. At least they are trying.

I’ll tell you one trick I have. It’s called the Ronovan Writes Weekly Haiku Poetry Prompt Challenge. No, that’s not a plug for my challenge. I am telling you about a trick. There are people who do the challenge every week, and that means I read their work, usually at least twice, think about it, review it, see their names, and all of that every week. It doesn’t work for each person because of lack of regularity but when I see the name I know it’s familiar and once I get to their site things come back.

MLPs have sensory/emotional impressions of people if not actual memories. I know by a name, if it has been around me long enough, if that person is someone that is positive for me or negative, if that person is a friend or foe, if that person is emotionally good for me or a life drain.

When you hear that old saying about first impressions, it’s true. Make a good first impression and good last impression as well. You are asking, “How do I know when that last impression will be?” Whenever you leave the communication presence of someone, that’s your last impression until the next time you connect with them.

Well, this has been a longer message than I had planned, and I’m not sure if it is even what I had intended, but it is what it is and that’s all that it is. So, as I have just now read back through it, you might find it surprising I forgot about half of what I wrote while I was writing this. But again, it is what it is. I’m not to blame, you are not to blame, there is no blame.

Oh, I just remembered why I was writing this. Seriously. That big recent memory loss I had, like a mind wipe almost, took some important people away and broke things. Hmm, never mind. You know, I’ve tried. I think I will just deal with the depression of it all, come out the other side, and say I am what I am. It’s all I can be. Even if I don’t like it, I have to accept it or wind up on the 6 o’clock news.

 

Much Respect

Ronovan

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Nurturing is Genuine.

For me there is some difficulty when it comes to face to face relationships since my accident over a year ago. It might be the memory issues. Perhaps the fear of people. Somewhere along the way . . . hmm, maybe it’s all of it together.

As a father I have to get over it at times. I guess when I am able to get into those moments of discussion and encouragement and help my son grow, he knows it’s the real thing. And there I believe lies true nurturing.

Humans are very perceptive when it comes to fakes or genuines. Yes, another of my made up words. Perhaps I will create a comic book called The Genuines and the enemies will be The Deceptives.

“Focus, Ronovan.”

“Okay, okay, I will.”

My son is very perceptive. He knows when someone truly cares about him when they are discussing things that are to encourage and help him. He doesn’t need encouragement. I suppose encouragement is great in its place but nurturing is really the thing that is needed.

When you nurture you are giving of yourself, your feelings are shared, your time, your blood, your sweat and tears. Even an infant knows the difference between the genuine and the deceptive.

My son, aged 10, began his first season of baseball this year. No one believes it. He was apparently born to play the game. Perhaps it was the hours of throwing balls to him over the summer that helped some, the explaining how baseball works, how to properly run the bases, how to relay the ball. It was a sport I could explain and he could learn that carried over. I suppose it helped I took coaching of baseball in college.

But what is really helping him are the coaches. He has the best coaches in his league. I don’t say that because they are winning, I say that because their mentality of growing young kids into loving baseball, and training them the right way, and not just about technique.

The hitting coach even took time with my son “B” before practice, since it was early, and went through a couple of things with him, and told him he was the most naturally gifted hitter and player he had ever seen. He didn’t have to say that. And his actions back up his words.

I take the guys words as truth because of his background. He played college ball, football and baseball at the same University I went to, but ended up with baseball after the first season and was even scouted by the pros. He still plays in leagues that we have here that aren’t for pros. Oh, did I mention his father was a two time football Super Bowl Champion?

Encouragement without sincerity is just smoke. It’s a commercial for a toy that kids know won’t work. My son even explains to me why the toys won’t work when he sees the ads.

Again, I wasn’t going to do a post today, but it’s #1000Speak for Compassion with the topic of Nurturing. I opened the page and this happened without a thought.

Nurturing can be from adult to adult as well. I  have people, person, something like that, not only encouraging my writing but taking steps to nurture along the way to lead in the direction of improvement. Not so much teaching me technique but being honest with me.

Nurturing is not simply being a cheerleader, nurturing is sometimes be the tough guy for the better. The other person won’t always like it, but through a history with you, they know it is for the better and will go with it.

No matter what you do, with whomever you do it with, nurture. It reminds me of one of my favorite verses.

“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”~Ephesians 4:29

If those who follow these words only fulfilled these words, would it not be a wonderful world? I try. I fail at times, I am sure, but I try.

1000 voices speak for compassion

Let’s connect.

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Christian Sex. Try it, you might like it.

I’ve started today’s Thought several times and it has ended up on the topic of sex each time. The decision has been made to go ahead and begin with that as the topic.

The world has this view of Christian Sex as something that would resemble two butterflies passing gently by on a spring day with their wings barely touching and then flittering away in opposite directions to hide in shame due to their having made eye contact during the process.

Get two Christians together, married up, and you have the opportunity for the most passionate sex to ever have existed on the planet.

People can argue against that idea. Many do. I’m not denying that non Christians, married or not have great sex. But since this is my blog and my post I’m here to talk about Christian Sex.

Yes, you will have the embarrassed Christian Butterfly Sex.  But then you have the Christian Sex that comes from this bond of trust. This trust that allows for anything and everything to be possible and nothing is off limits. It allows for unashamed joy in the exploration and the satisfaction of each other.Why? Because of that trust, that respect.

In a true, loving Christian relationship the sky is the limit. The secret though is that true, loving Christian relationship. What does that mean? What is that made of? CAN it be achieved?

First of all, a relationship like that takes patience. Patience from the first moment the two meet and onward. You have to learn a lot about each other to discover if the two of you are meant to be. By this I mean you are to discuss almost every single topic. Some say, “Then why not have sex and see if you are the same there, or why not discuss sex before you get married to see if one likes to be tied up and the other is against it.”

Why? Because you don’t know. Until you are in that most amazing relationship of complete trust you don’t know what you are capable of.

People are reading this and thinking. “This guy has lost it. Christians aren’t supposed to do certain things sexually.”

You know, if you look in the Bible you will not find anywhere, it saying there is any kind of sex between husband and wife not allowed. What are the limits then? As long as it is just the two of them, the only limitation is will it in some way hurt the marriage.

How could a consensual act between husband and wife be considered harmful for the marriage? Some things may be physically dangerous, some things may be addictive. When the sex is the object of the marriage and not the spouse and the love of the marriage you have found the sex that should not occur.

The trust, the open and honest ability of each spouse to say no, that is what makes the ultimate Christian Sex possible. It may sound odd to you but some people may not like to have their back touched during sex. A difficult thing, yes, but when their back is touched it brings memories rushing back from being beaten as a child. The body, certain spots have the emotional memory that remains.

“I have the right to do anything,” you say—but not everything is beneficial. “I have the right to do anything”—but I will not be mastered by anything.”~1 Corinthians 6:12

What is the significance of this verse from Paul? As a married couple you have the RIGHT to do any sexual act with each other, but it should be beneficial and it should not master you, control you, become your obsession.

Christan Sex. Try it, you might like it.

For a more weird moment in my thoughts about the subject you can click and read Sex and Hell: My Sunday Thoughts, Enter at Your Own Risk from back in September.

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The Male Brain vs. The Female Brain. Boxed in, out or just plain Boxed?

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Mark Gungor is a man who speaks around the nation about of all things . . . marriage. Yes, after you watch this, he still does continue to speak on the subject and in all honesty I think it’s because he’s dead right and not afraid to say it.

You may find some things he says to be stereotyping but guess what? There is a reason they have those weird laws in your town like, don’t tie your giraffe to a lamp post in Atlanta, GA, or in Idaho you cannot fish from the back of a camel.

It’s because it’s happened. Stereotyping man and woman has been in the millennia in the making. Sit back, click, and enjoy without any guilt the truth that is the male brain and the female brain.

What are some things you’ve noticed are different between the male and female brain?

 

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By the Grace of God.

People often think they know a person. With celebrities we think we know every nuance of their lives from the fodder we’re fed through tabloid TV and media. No, this is not a hating on the media moment here.

I have gone through moments of vaguely liking or disliking Katy Perry and Taylor Swift. It seems you can only be in the camp of one and not the other. Two artists so linked by talent and artistry could be a force to reckoned with if they were to ever join together in a project. Perhaps.

But there is too much there at the moment to divide them. Today my focus is on Katy Perry. She went through this odd marriage to a man named Russell Brand. It seemed quite good for a time and then divorce. A great many people put the blame on Perry. Even those in this house are of that opinion. Or were until I stumbled upon this song a couple of katy perryweeks ago.

Some don’t know that Perry comes from a Minister’s home. That’s right, she’s a PK. A Preachers Kid. When you listen to this song she wrote you will hear the purity, the truth of her feelings. These aren’t just words. This is coming from a person truly understanding what she is singing about.

For one thing the song is about her marriage falling apart. She received a text message from Brand that they were divorcing. She thought of suicide. This is the one song about that relationship. She says any other lyrics you hear anywhere on other songs are coincidence. This is the one song that she wrote to get it out of her.

It’s a powerful song and has quickly become a favorite of mine. I am not a mainstream pop music listener normally. I dabble. After listening to this I listened to some of her other songs and she is truly a talent.

 

Was 27, surviving my return of Saturn
A long vacation didn’t sound so bad
Was full of secrets, locked up tight like Iron Mountain
Running on empty, so out of gas
 

Thought I wasn’t enough
Found I wasn’t so tough
Laying on the bathroom floor
We were living on a fault line
And I felt the fault was all mine
Couldn’t take it anymore
 

(Chorus)

By the grace of God
There was no other way
I picked myself back up
I knew I had to stay
I put one foot in front of the other
And I looked in the mirror
And decided to stay
Wasn’t gonna let love take me out that way
 

I thank my sister for keeping my head above the water
When the truth was like swallowing sand
Now every morning, there is no more mourning
Oh I can finally see myself again
 

I know I am enough
Possible to be loved
It was not about me
Now I have to rise above
Let the Universe call the bluff
Yeah, the truth will set you free
 

(Chorus)

 

That way, no
That way, no
Not in the name of love
That way, no
That way, no
I am not giving up
 

By the grace of God
I picked myself back up
I put one foot in front of the other
And I looked in the mirror
 

(Chorus)

 

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Loving You

 

I think of you every minute of the day

Wishing and praying all your cares away

But I don’t always know what to say

So I spent the day

Loving you

Loving you

poetry

You know, sometimes you begin writing and things happen. I opened up the post this morning to write an article, ended up beginning a poem, a lyric poem, then as I went to the Chorus it occurred to me, what else is there to say? I think my message is clear. I think it is received. And love can be love as in friendship as well.

Sometimes we write and write because we lock ourselves into the constraints we see in place in a type of writing. Truly what you write is what you write and how you feel. What you end up with is the type of writing  you end up with. Criteria? Never do that to yourself. Write. Write from the heart and people will know. Write from a form or checklist and people will know.

Spend the day loving you and loving your talent.

Just as I will spend the day loving you.

Ronovan

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