Outlasting?

Man in pain beside poem on right.

Stuck in a rut with no way out.

Opening my mouth but you can’t hear me shout.

Locked here in this world alone with my doubt.

Directions to safety keeps telling me to reroute.

My positivity has been my fingertip of hope.

Lately I’ve been sounding more like a garbage eating billy goat.

I keep slipping and sliding up and down a well traveled slope.

My plans so sabotaged I feel on the verge of a Virginia Woolf note.

The love for life counted down till it came.

And all those blissful imaginings… went up in a flame.

The clock hit zero and that pain I’ve held back…my brain is lame.

My mind limps and stumbles with fatigue and shame.

To change the world takes so much of your light.

You pull yourself up but find you haven’t enough fight.

You claw at limbs to see the white light.

Try as you may you just don’t have the might.

I still hang on to one thin strand.

Feeling the whole time that I wait on grains of sand.

My heart burns and it aches with each weak demand.

When I last close my eyes I hope to be in a new land.

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International Cat Day: Kitty Update.

Some of you probably don’t know about Kitty. Back when I first came home from the hospital six years ago this month, I didn’t know anyone here, who I was, or most anything about my past. If you think about that for a moment, you might realize a situation like that doesn’t give a person much of a connection to anyone. And over those first weeks you learn whether the people are people you want to be connected with.

For me, I was saved. Not by a person, but by a very tiny cat.

This is her way back then, after she and I got to know each other. I saw her in the tree line around the house and guilted someone into feeding her, or him as I thought she was at the time.

I would eat my lunch on the porch to get to natural light and fresh air each day and Kitty, as I oh so creatively named her (What else would you expect from an author of one Historical Fiction book about the British Navy and Pirates, and a short story for an anthology about magical realism?) would come and sit near me or play and even let me rub her tummy, which shows you how happy she was.

Well eventually Kitty earned a new name from the rest of the house.

You might guess it. Mama Kitty. That’s how they spell momma. But yes, the little hussy gave us Spunky, Fluffy, and Cautious. Sadly on Kitty and Fluffy are with us now. As for Cautious? We have no clue. But Spunky, it’s believed a Coyote may have led to his disappearance, as there were a lot of such cases during that time. But here are some Spunky pictures. He was a funny and adventurous guy/

Kat-fuMy little white tiger.Spunky_In_Chair.jpg

Kitty isn’t as loving as she used to be. I think the kits wore her out. She was and is a great mother. She not so long ago adopted another son named Tiger. She even holds him down and bathes his ears for him. I’ll share photos soon, if I can get one. Here is Kitty now, just a few days ago. As you can see, she has become quite the little lady. And I mean little. She actually has the tiniest head of any cat I’ve seen. In person she is so delicate looking. Several months ago she disappeared. We were so worried. She finally showed up, starving, smaller, and the fur on the right side of her face had been ripped off. The thought is she was trapped somewhere, either by accident or on purpose, and she was able to finally escape. She’s good now and as pretty as ever.

Girls grow…

I saw a quote recently that didn’t sound quite right to me so I decided to change one word and make it work for what I was thinking. Although, both quotes work depending on who needs what when.

“Girls grow differently when they are treated right and loved properly.+

 

Girls grow differently orchid image.

Now you know.

One of my favorites back when I knew how to write what I called lyrical poetry…or poetry of any kind at all.

ronovanwrites

Slippin’ into sideways single again, thinkin’ I know what’s the best thing for my friend.
Never seein’ I’m the one playin’ a fool, keep trippin’ into a funk deeper than a city cesspool.
Do you ever think you want your own time, oh but you keep missin’ when she’s out of your line?
Then you look into her eyes, her heart and you play it off like a chump, thinkin’ you’re so cool.

Love’s not a playground for the child or the immature clown painted on society’s scripted scene.
Expectations of your world can bring you down to your knees and shatter your deepest dreams.
Where do you go from here when all you know is the beaten down lovers lost melody hit machine?
Words rhymed and bought to break your heart and rip your pockets for every cent at the seams?

Fill your heart, feel the steam.
Let it…

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A Reply.

Andrea Bocelli, Ariana Grande – E Più Ti Penso

The more I think of you

The more I think of you
the more I miss you;
I see you with my tired eyes…
I’d like to be
there with you too;
I hold the pillow,
you’re here near me…
It’s the middle of the night
And you’re far away…
The emptiness surrounds me,
there’s not a sun anymore…
I’m sad and hopeless
as I’ve never been
without you, without you…
And if, by chance,
I never saw you again,
I already know what I’d do –
I wouldn’t live…
And the more I think of you
the more I miss you…
I’m nothing much without you,
I feel like a fish deprived
of water to swim in,
breathing without you,
without you, without you…
And if, by chance,
I never saw you again,
I already know what I’d do –
I would die…