“The only use of an obstacle is to be overcome. All that an obstacle does with brave men is, not to frighten them, but to challenge them.”~Woodrow Wilson
Two weeks ago I asked you to Make a List of Your Negatives, while last week I said to get rid of one of those negatives. Two problems with that last one. One, the article was long and few people read it. The other problem, for those who read it I imagine you were expecting me to tell you how to get rid of those negatives. By the way, there was more to the article than ‘get rid of one of those negatives’.
Today I’ll attempt to be brief and tell you how to be rid of negatives.
X Out the Past and 0 Out Your Future
Let’s take your list of negatives in their nice columns and for every negative that comes from a past event place an x beside it. For every negative whose source lies in the future, in other words something you are wanting but can’t have yet or may never have, place a little circle beside it.
Now realize you are looking at things that cannot be reached or dealt with in the present. Wait before you start yelling about controlling what might happen in the future.
Those Past Negatives are in the past. Unless you want to apologize to someone or forgive someone, you are most likely out of luck. Drop those Past Negatives. And if you haven’t apologized or forgiven in all these years and are having problems with it, that’s called Regret. You can visit my Regrets are where they belong, in the past from this past Wednesday for some good quotes about regrets.
Know You Are In The Now
Expecting anything from someone else is a Negative you will never control. That’s one Negative you are to never allow to take a rest in your mind. It’s time to live in the now, not the yesterday, not the future, but the now. Here. Now. Not in the what you wished you had or what you hope to have, but in the what you have. You can work toward what you want to have some day, but that’s some day. That’s a goal, not a Negative.
Take your list, do the x’s and o’s and start working your way through those x’s. And really, if you are strong enough, you can toss them all, but if you haven’t already done that, then you most likely will need to take the baby steps I’ve talked about previously. There is no hurry, no race, no trophy.
You need to:
- Think about why that Negative happened
- What you had to do with it
- Why it is still hanging with you
- What can you do about it
- What it has done to your life
- Then realize it is over
That last part is the most difficult. Read through the article again and you’ll see why you are to let it go and let it be over. You’re in control of it all. Don’t ALLOW anything, especially a memory to control YOU.
Live in the here and now, and enjoy life.
“When faced with a challenge, happy families, like happy people, just add a new chapter to their life story that shows them overcoming the hardship. This skill is particularly important for children, whose identity tends to get locked in during adolescence.”~Bruce Feiler
Much Love, Success, and Respect
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