Indulge to Bulge. A poem in the Décima or Espinela style.

A new Poetry Challenge is coming and here is another of my examples. The How To follows.

Indulge to Bulge

Blissful longing of butter fat,
Floating above the sea of blame
Renders worthy of the blue flame.
What’s now a spare tire, once was flat.

Crying for more from the spoiled brat,
Brings forth the lazy quelling hands.
Then blames the obese on lax glands.
Fail to heed the words of the wise
Leads to chaffed thighs or heart that dies.
Toss the flans, cans, and frying pans.



10 lines with each having 8 syllables.

Sometimes people divide the lines into two stanzas of four and six. A pause after the fourth which means a period or semicolon is warranted. Some divide in other ways depending on where they learned Espinela, but all are 10 lines and…

…8 syllables to each line with

a rhyming pattern of abba/accddc

Traditional themes of old have been philosophical, religious, lyrical, political, and satirical humor. But you can do whatever you like as the theme can be anything, but I may be setting themes or a couple of words as part of the challenge.

This form of poetry is known as an Espinela or décima poem of octameter (more or less eight syllables). The form is named after Vicente Gómez Martínez-Espinel (baptized December 28, 1550, Ronda, Málaga, Spain—died February 4, 1624, Madrid) an expelled university student who entered the army, was a rogue, and eventually was ordained into the priesthood. He was a contemporary of Cervantes., who is probably most known for writing Don Quixote. Espinel is alternately credited with creating the style or reviving it. Whichever it is, we have it today.

Again, the rhyming pattern is always


There are even songs created of multiple Espinela Poems united.

In Spain these poems were often sung or spoken, with the topics being philosophical, religious, lyrical, political, and even humorous with the humor being satire in nature noting the weakness or foolish act of the recipient. Often a challenge would be made by the decimero, the person who read aloud the anonymously written poem, to the recipient who is to respond in turn. This would start a duel of poetry, and possibly creating an interesting song of responses and challenges.

It is up to you as to how you structure your Espinela, as there really is no set in stone structure, only the syllables and rhyming pattern.


International Cat Day: Kitty Update.

Some of you probably don’t know about Kitty. Back when I first came home from the hospital six years ago this month, I didn’t know anyone here, who I was, or most anything about my past. If you think about that for a moment, you might realize a situation like that doesn’t give a person much of a connection to anyone. And over those first weeks you learn whether the people are people you want to be connected with.

For me, I was saved. Not by a person, but by a very tiny cat.

This is her way back then, after she and I got to know each other. I saw her in the tree line around the house and guilted someone into feeding her, or him as I thought she was at the time.

I would eat my lunch on the porch to get to natural light and fresh air each day and Kitty, as I oh so creatively named her (What else would you expect from an author of one Historical Fiction book about the British Navy and Pirates, and a short story for an anthology about magical realism?) would come and sit near me or play and even let me rub her tummy, which shows you how happy she was.

Well eventually Kitty earned a new name from the rest of the house.

You might guess it. Mama Kitty. That’s how they spell momma. But yes, the little hussy gave us Spunky, Fluffy, and Cautious. Sadly on Kitty and Fluffy are with us now. As for Cautious? We have no clue. But Spunky, it’s believed a Coyote may have led to his disappearance, as there were a lot of such cases during that time. But here are some Spunky pictures. He was a funny and adventurous guy/

Kat-fuMy little white tiger.Spunky_In_Chair.jpg

Kitty isn’t as loving as she used to be. I think the kits wore her out. She was and is a great mother. She not so long ago adopted another son named Tiger. She even holds him down and bathes his ears for him. I’ll share photos soon, if I can get one. Here is Kitty now, just a few days ago. As you can see, she has become quite the little lady. And I mean little. She actually has the tiniest head of any cat I’ve seen. In person she is so delicate looking. Several months ago she disappeared. We were so worried. She finally showed up, starving, smaller, and the fur on the right side of her face had been ripped off. The thought is she was trapped somewhere, either by accident or on purpose, and she was able to finally escape. She’s good now and as pretty as ever.

Comfort food? Maybe not.

“There is no more useful and rewarding exercise than to spend time in your own kitchen preparing your own meals.”-Ronovan
Last week I got to thinking about comfort foods. I’m not certain if that was because I’m on a no or at least very little processed foods nutrition lifestyle right now or not.
This past weekend I did an indulgence day and ate something, I can’t remember what, I know bread was involved and some sort of sweet.
Oh, I’ve stayed off sweets as well with this new lifestyle.
I’m glad I indulged.
I ate those foods Saturday and had a Diet Rite drink and very shortly afterwards my body was complaining. It didn’t like the chemically formulated drink, or the run to Google to research ingredient meanings processed foods.
The entire week I’d been on my new nutrition lifestyle I had no problems at all with anything. Well, except for maybe being a little hungry at times because my body was growing accustomed to a little less food and no bad foods it seemed to like before. Yep, IT was craving, and oddly, I was not. I was perfectly happy with my foods.
Of course I began to think about those comfort foods and how they are called ‘comfort’ foods. Yeah, they feel good going down and taste great. They give you emotional well being. And then, Boom!
“Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.”-Mark Twain
I think that quote from old Sam somewhat says it like it is. Especially the last part. Our foods are fighting it out inside of us, but usually it is with us, not with each other.
Maya Angelou was pretty close with her thoughts on comfort food, especially for those of us in the South.
“The best comfort food will always be greens, cornbread, and fried chicken.”-Maya Angelou
I can still taste my Maw Maw’s fried chicken, you know the kind where you have the big cast iron skillet, a lid and she stands there making sure it all turns out just right. Taking each piece off at the right time, ’cause she knows not every part needs to cook the same amount of time.  And for a treat, the bacon grease from that morning was used instead of Crisco. If you’ve ever had that above combination, then you know at some point, not long afterwards, Mark Twain’s quote will inevitably come true.
If there is one celebrity in the world that could influence me to do anything it would have been Audrey Hepburn. Goddess of everything amazing. Well, she was that first classy, innocent but not woman I guess a lot of knew of, and actually believed from the movies. She wasn’t a sex kitten, or obvious, or even had the killer body of some of the time, and I think she proves what I consider about what sexy is. It’s what the woman has going on between the ears, that shows through her eyes and connects through your eyes and into your brain.
I do believe what Goddess Audrey says will be appreciated by a lot of people.
“Let’s face it, a nice creamy chocolate cake does a lot for a lot of people; it does for me.”-Audrey Hepburn
But again, Mark Twain wills out. Minor exceptions can be okay but beware. I think perhaps women don’t have as much problem with chocolate than men do for a reason. God gave the earth chocolate for women to enjoy, because God made the mistake of giving the earth man in the first place. Yes, it’s the one thing God may have gotten wrong the first time around and had to perfect the second time. The gloriousness that is woman was God’s do-over.
“There is no sincerer love than the love of food.”-George Bernard Shaw
This is perhaps my favorite quote here today. Notice the use of the word ‘food’. When you look at what you’re eating, is it food, or a science experiment prepackaged for ease of use? Did the person or team creating it where white lab coats or white aprons?
Don’t get me wrong, the stuff tastes good at times, but then you eat real, homemade food and you discover what Food is. When you eat a burger made at home and compare it to one made at McDonald’s you can see what I mean.
“But I need my salt because it’s a flavor enhancer.” If you need the food you are eating to be enhanced, then eat something else.
I know, there are times and situations that necessitate the eating of whatever is available, I’ve been there and I am not a food snob, Nazi. But if you can choose good, healthy, home cooked meals, then why not do it? If you can teach your kids now what food is, then why not do it?
“Get people back into the kitchen and combat the trend toward processed food and fast food.”-Andrew Weil
Check the comments for other #BeWoW posts and for more Writer’s Quote Wednesday offerings.
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Ron_LWIRonovan is an author, and blogger who shares his life as an amnesiac and Chronic Pain sufferer through his blog His love of poetry, authors and community through his online world has lead to a growing Weekly Haiku Challenge and the creation of a site dedicated to book reviews, interviews and author resources known as

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Making a Commitment to a Nutrition Lifestyle.

Time for a bit of motivating on this Monday. More for myself than anyone else. I have decided to try out the diet known as the Paleo Diet for my Fibromyalgia.  I’ll give more information about Paleo in another article. Now, at this time I want to stress a point. I am not, repeat not, going on a diet. Yes, I need to lose weight, but my goal in life is to be healthy on the inside. I have my reasons. Some obvious and some I like to keep to myself.

(oooo doesn’t that get you to wondering? No, I am not going to be an MMA fighter just so I can get up close and personal to Ronda Rousey. But then again. Hmmm. You might be able to twist my arm. Hahahahahaha. MMA jokes kill me. Well they actually could.)

Wow that was a total off the subject ramble. But it’s my blog and I’ll ramble if I want to. Taking a deep breath before I go off on song lyrics now.

image of healthy foods

I’m not dieting. What I am going to refer to this moving forward and I’ll be possibly doing something future with my journey in a book form if things go well is something I call a Nutrition Lifestyle. Diet is word that was never meant to represent a losing weight regimen.

Your diet is what you eat.

I believe it’s time we took that back.

I also think it’s time we took back our foods. Processed foods are killing us. With Paleo, I’m changing the title of that to Clean Food Nutrition, this means as natural food as possible, not being Nazi about it, but doing the best I can with the finances I have.

Have you ever looked at ground beef in the stores? For those outside of the USA ground beef is the kind of meat you would make a hamburger from or meatballs. Due to allergies in my home labels are studied thoroughly. You will find on some ground beef packaging that beef flavoring has been added.

The first time I read this I had no clue. After it was shown to the butcher he was shocked as well. After all, unless you are buying a roast and then having the butcher grind it up for you, which you can do, the ground beef comes to the stores prepackaged.

Many chickens and the various parts in the butcher area show having broth added.

Before Vegetarians and Vegans say just don’t eat meat, you then venture into the vegetable areas in the produce and you will unfortunately discover some produce are treated with a preservative in the fields without the store even knowing it. This happens with nuts as well. The bad part? The preservative is a natural product so it can be called all natural or organic.

Soy is organic. Soy is a huge problem these days as people are now developing allergies to it being in just about every food we eat.

For me, it’s not so bad. I can eat just about anything, technically, but I won’t. So we’ll see what happens, and I’ll keep everyone updated.

I’m also throwing some Yoga into the mix. I’ve tried some recently but it completely flared my Fibromyalgia so out of control that I’ve been, truthfully, scared to try it again. But what’s it gonna do, make me hurt more than a flare?

One last reason I have to do this is because medications I am on cause weight gain. I worked very hard to lose a lot of weight and then was put on the meds. Not all the weight is back, thank goodness, but I also can’t be put on Blood Pressure medicine because basically it drops my pressure too low and I have a chance of fainting and hitting my head, and having another concussion, that isn’t acceptable. I’ve fallen several times since that day two years ago and lost memory progress I had gained. No more concussions for me.

So for me, it’s life or death. And I mean that in many ways.

Much Respect-Much Love


Ron_LWIRonovan is an author, and blogger who shares his life as an amnesiac and Chronic Pain sufferer though his blog His love of poetry, authors and community through his online world has lead to a growing Weekly Haiku Challenge and the creation of a site dedicated to book reviews, interviews and author resources known as

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Acceptance to A Better Future.

Yesterday in my article Peacemaker to Positivity I mentioned accepting the events of your life in order to be at peace with yourself and to use those events to help others who experience similar things. That’s a lot to ask of someone.

There are events in this world that are difficult to accept. But you are either accept them or ALLOW them to run and ruin your life. And events are events. They are moments in time. Moments that have already happened and cannot be changed.

We all go through the “If only I had…” moments. Those are the “I am holding myself back” moments. If you are a parent you try and do things through you child you wish you had done. As a spouse you want to be more perfect than whatever your parents were.

We are going to fail in both of those. Our children are not us, so whatever they do is for them, not us. And our parents were them and not us. No matter what others do, it is them that do it. By accepting and moving on we can become a success at something on our own, for our own. We can help other people.

I know there are those moments that are truly horrible, but what can you do about them? Don’t ALLOW them to turn you into something you aren’t. Don’t ALLOW anyone to win over your life but you.


Much Love, Success, and Respect


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Live in the Now, not with the Ghost of the Past. #BeWoW

nemoMy theme this week so far has been silence. Keeping one’s silence is golden. You appear wise when not engaging a fool, even if you are a fool yourself, which in some way or other we all are.

Living in the moment for me means I don’t ALLOW those old moments to flare up my emotions to interfere with my dealings with the moments of today.

If we all ALLOWED them to happen, we would never love as we all most likely have had broken hearts.

By living in the moment we ALLOW ourselves to experience things we would have missed out on otherwise. We don’t ALLOW fears to get in the way of adventures. By this I mean foolish fears, not wise fears that bring us caution.

Living in the moment is a difficult thing to do at first. With practice it can be done.

ALLOW yourself to enjoy life. ALLOW yourself to be more than you ever imagined.

As pain is the past,

The future’s in the present,

With great hopes and dreams.

Here are some free Kindle books pertaining to living in the moment. I haven’t read them yet, but they have good reviews and I thought I would bring them to your attention. Quotes are from Amazon Book Descriptions. Click images for Amazon book page.

41aih0k2u+L._AA160_“After reading Remove Negative Thinking, you will be able to:
– Recognize and remove your negative thinking patterns throughout the day
– Reframe how you see the world
– Connect to your passion and purpose
– Focus on abundance and live in the now
– Move outside your comfort zone
– Stay motivated and surround yourself with positive people


51R+3-36xNL._AA160_“This inspirational guide reminds you that life can be good, no matter what challenges you may be facing right now. Be present, see the divine at work in all circumstances, and experience ordinary life as sacred. Learn to practice the art of abundance as a form of spiritual awareness based in gratitude. “


Much Love, Success, and Respect


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God and Meditation.

Are you a Christian or even an Atheist and afraid of Meditation because you think it will turn you into a Buddhist, turn you away from your belief in whatever you believe?

Don’t laugh. A great many people associate Meditation with Buddhism because it is such a central part of that philosophy and way of life.

You’re already meditating.

Meditation, for Christians should not be something to fear. In fact, if you are doing as you should, you are likely meditating and not even realizing it. Each morning you should be spending quiet time preparing for your day by praying or talking with God. You are preparing yourself to not allow the events of the day to sway you or influence you.

During this time you are pushing the world out, those sounds and thoughts, and you are focusing on one thing, God. During these quiet times you may not even be thinking of anything but simply being at peace and calming your mind for the day ahead. Perhaps you are repeating the word “calm” or “peace” in your thoughts over and over. A one word prayer.

When you are in these moments you find things become clearer to you. All the outside stimuli are blocked away and central ideas come into focus and you discover solutions to problems or clarity of purpose, and even a clarity of scripture void of the traditions man has applied to them in trappings and rhetoric.

Jesus was a man who meditated.

“But Jesus did not meditate, so why should I?” What do you think Jesus was doing while fasting in the wilderness for 40 days and 40 nights. While fasting he must have been doing something. Preparing himself for his ministry ahead? How? By talking with God, talking with the Father, by meditating. And through this preparation, at the end of those 40 days and nights, Jesus was prepared for the trials of Satan.

People forget a few things about Jesus. For one, he was a man. Yes, he was God in the form of flesh as man on earth. He had to be. For him to be a sacrifice for us he could not be the all powerful form of God without the ability to be harmed, feel pain, go through trials, be tempted, and all the other things a human could go through.

He performed miracles by asking the Father for His help. I mention that so no one thinks he had these powers on his own and thus was different from normal humans. But how did Jesus stay pure to be the perfect sacrifice for humanity?

Remember how Jesus would often go off on his own, away from his disciples? What do you think he was doing during this time? Remember in the garden on the night of his arrest and he asked the disciples to keep watch? What do you think he was doing?

Jesus was the rock star of his time of ministry work. Everywhere he went people wanted something from him. These things could be simply to hear him speak or to get some miracle from him. But there was a constant buzz around him. Jesus needed to get away from all of that and be alone. He needed to refocus and reenergize. He was human. He had a human body. He had a human mind, all of which were susceptible to fatigue and deterioration. He needed his quiet time.

The Bible speaks of meditation.

Meditation is not a religion. Parts of this article came to me during meditation. People want to be enlightened. For a Christian—as a Christian, I feel as though I am enlightened already. As I meditate in my quiet moments and refocus on God, He gives me thoughts and revelations.

Does the Bible speak of meditation? I know some of you are wondering. If it’s not in the Bible then you don’t want to hear about it being possible, even if you are a Christian or not. Joshua 1:7-9~“Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the law my servant Moses gave you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left, that you may be successful wherever you go. Keep this Book of the Law always on your lips; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful. Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”

Meditation is not just sitting quietly it is also a way of life. You can meditate through every moment of life. In the above scripture, Joshua speaks to this. The word meditate (hâgâh)  here has meanings such as; to utter, speak, muse, imagine, to meditate. To get the full benefits of the Word of God you need to be in it throughout your day, in all your actions. To get the full benefits of meditation you need to be in it throughout your day, in all your actions.

To prosper (tsâlach, tsâlêach), to make progress, to advance; all definitions of the word translated as prosperous above, you need to be in whatever it is you are doing and stay on the path of what you are doing at all times. Otherwise you are sidetracked and have to either start over or take time getting back on the track where you left off.

I’m a doer, not a sayer.

As a Christian, by combining these two the Word of God/prayer and Meditation that go hand in hand, written in the Bible, you can achieve a divine enlightenment and peace of mind. I don’t say this as some guy trying to get you to do something; I say it as someone who does it.

I did it before my accident two years ago, lost it for a while, and now you may have noticed in recent months a change in my writing. I live what I am talking about. I didn’t call it meditation, but that is what it was.


Much Love, Success, and Respect


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Creating a Positive Environment

Listing negatives and living in the here and now, in the moment without looking to the past for what we’ve missed and regretted and to the future for what we wished we could have. That pretty much sums up the past three weeks of thoughts about becoming more Positive.

Positivity doesn’t just happen. As I’ve mentioned before, you need to take baby steps to create a lasting mindset of positivity. A qToday I want to discuss a little about creating a positive environment to grow in. Don’t worry, I’m not going to ask you to move rearranged your furniture, at least not yet. Hmm, maybe I will. Let’s see what happens.

First you need to decide how serious you are about wanting a better life. Some decisions might seem drastic to you. Some will be seriously life changing. But if you are wanting not only a better and more positive you but also a better and more positive around you, then tough needs to happen.

The Definition

Second you need to learn what your environment is. Many people only think of the physical state of what I mentioned earlier, furniture or paint or curtains or a garden. But environment is many things.

“1:  the circumstances, objects, or conditions by which one is surrounded

2a :  the complex of physical, chemical, and biotic factors (as climate, soil, and living things) that act upon an organism or an ecological community and ultimately determine its form and survival

b :  the aggregate of social and cultural conditions that influence the life of an individual or community”~Merriam-Webster’s

By looking at the definition of environment you may see where we are headed. You may not be able to rid yourself of all things negative in your life but you can be rid of what you can be rid of. One way to do this is to realize what is and is not important to your life.

Getting Started

Once again, a difficult/tough process, but one that is required. As always, start with the easy things first. For me it was things like music and other medium that gave me negative messages. Just because a song had a good beat I might have liked it but the lyrics were actually derogatory and very negative. I was hearing them but not really using my brain to say, this stuff is not worth it.

As for media, such as news articles and the like, I look at headlines and decide if I want to read or not. Do I need to know about certain celebrities and their fights with each other? Do I need to know about every single incident of any type of crime in existence?

Family and Friends?

The difficult things? Family? Friends? That’s where it gets a bit tricky. And it’s why you start with what you can control with a little more ease.

I know some people who are horrible to certain people but nice to me. Why? Maybe because I am positive and not negative to them all the time? I don’t know. But I do think it helps.

How you look at things can determine how you handle things, interpret things and how people look at you as well. You influence others by how you act and thus you change your environment. Does it always work that way? No, but it does work a lot of times.

Much Love, Success, and Respect


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Quotes of Habits & Attitudes.


“Habits are strange. Some are positive and serve us well, and some are negative and do us harm. However, we profit when we remember we entered this world with none and we will depart with none. As habits form silently, constantly, and relentlessly, their pervasive impacts are often unnoticed. Yet they control our life. Although productive habits are invaluable, and bad habits are costly and difficult to break, all the effective listening leaders I know spend an inordinate amount of time studying, consciously shaping, and refining their habits.”~Chuck Maragos


“Human beings, by changing the inner attitudes of their minds, can change the outer aspects of their lives.”~William James


“Whatever your present situation, I assure you that you are not your habits.

You can replace old patterns of self-defeating behavior with new patterns, new habits of the effectiveness, happiness and trust-based relationships.”~Stephen Covey

maxwell-maltz-self-image“Our self-image and our habits tend to go together. Change one and you will automatically change the other.”~-Dr. Maxwell Maltz


“The greatest discovery of any generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering the attitudes of their minds.”~Albert Schweitzer

From Saturday: Quotes of life. From previous Thursday: Quotes of Motivation.

Much Love, Success, and Respect


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Habits-Good or Bad?


On Monday I wrote an article titled Let a moment just be a moment and as a result of comments I began thinking a little bit. No comments from the usual suspects please about me thinking.

Emotional reactions and assignment of labels to events are habits. That can be good or bad or if you would rather you can call them beneficial or non-beneficial, as I often look at them that way myself. Some ‘good’ habits may not be beneficial or necessary. Recognition that you have these habits, either in a good or bad way, is a great benefit to you.

Knowing you have created habits through the years, and if you examine your life you will likely see where certain habitual reactions began, you can either work to continue on a positive path to increase those beneficial reactions or work to decrease those negative ones that cause harmful effects on your life.

I know there are people out there that think how you are is how you are going to be forever. Let me tell those people this. “You’re wrong.”

Here’s the deal, yes, pretty much all of our lives are habits. Every aspect of our lives involves habits, other than the biological process such as breathing and the like. And even with breathing you can create a habit or routine manner of breathing in situations.

Think about that one for a moment. If you think when someone talks about your Momma you have to hit them or insult them back, then you’ve got a habit going on and you’ve also ALLOWED that person to own you for a time. They got you. They know your sore points, your weaknesses.

Just like in boxing when fighters prepare for an opponent they are training to how that opponent fights. They know what their opponent’s favorite moves are. If you don’t have habits then you can’t be owned as easily, including not being owned by your own weak mindedness.

Overcome your negative view of not being able to control your habitual reactions and thoughts through creating healthier habits of positivity. A way to begin is by looking at that List of Negatives I asked everyone to create a few weeks ago and think about how they became negatives. Examining and understanding your emotions and thought processes is one of the key factors of creating a positive you. A positive you is not just for you alone, it’s for all those who associate with you.

Everyone you know will benefit from a more positive you.

Much Love, Success, and Respect







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Quotes of life.


Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.

George Bernard Shaw


Very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yourself, in your way of thinking.

Marcus Aurelius

MG-speedThere is more to life than increasing its speed.

Mahatma Gandhi


My life is my message.

Mahatma Gandhi


Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated.



Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can’t help them, at least don’t hurt them.

Dalai Lama

Much Love, Success, and Respect


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Live in the Now, not in the Then.

“The only use of an obstacle is to be overcome. All that an obstacle does with brave men is, not to frighten them, but to challenge them.”~Woodrow Wilson

Two weeks ago I asked you to Make a List of Your Negatives, while last week I said to get rid of one of those negatives. Two problems with that last one. One, the article was long and few people read it. The other problem, for those who read it I imagine you were expecting me to tell you how to get rid of those negatives. By the way, there was more to the article than ‘get rid of one of those negatives’.

Today I’ll attempt to be brief and tell you how to be rid of negatives.

X Out the Past and 0 Out Your Future

Let’s take your list of negatives in their nice columns and for every negative that comes from a past event place an x beside it. For every negative whose source lies in the future, in other words something you are wanting but can’t have yet or may never have, place a little circle beside it.

Now realize you are looking at things that cannot be reached or dealt with in the present. Wait before you start yelling about controlling what might happen in the future.

Those Past Negatives are in the past. Unless you want to apologize to someone or forgive someone, you are most likely out of luck. Drop those Past Negatives. And if you haven’t apologized or forgiven in all these years and are having problems with it, that’s called Regret. You can visit my Regrets are where they belong, in the past from this past Wednesday for some good quotes about regrets.

Know You Are In The Now

Expecting anything from someone else is a Negative you will never control. That’s one Negative you are to never allow to take a rest in your mind. It’s time to live in the now, not the yesterday, not the future, but the now. Here. Now. Not in the what you wished you had or what you hope to have, but in the what you have. You can work toward what you want to have some day, but that’s some day. That’s a goal, not a Negative.

Take your list, do the x’s and o’s and start working your way through those x’s. And really, if you are strong enough, you can toss them all, but if you haven’t already done that, then you most likely will need to take the baby steps I’ve talked about previously. There is no hurry, no race, no trophy.

You need to:

  • Think about why that Negative happened
  • What you had to do with it
  • Why it is still hanging with you
  • What can you do about it
  • What it has done to your life
  • Then realize it is over

That last part is the most difficult. Read through the article again and you’ll see why you are to let it go and let it be over. You’re in control of it all. Don’t ALLOW anything, especially a memory to control YOU.

Live in the here and now, and enjoy life.

“When faced with a challenge, happy families, like happy people, just add a new chapter to their life story that shows them overcoming the hardship. This skill is particularly important for children, whose identity tends to get locked in during adolescence.”~Bruce Feiler

Much Love, Success, and Respect


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Regrets are where they belong, in the past.

“Those who enjoy their own emotionally bad health and who habitually fill their own minds with the rank poisons of suspicion, jealousy and hatred, as a rule take umbrage at those who refuse to do likewise, and they find a perverted relief in trying to denigrate them.”~Johannes Brahms

When you go through life you end up running across people who, for some reason, think you are a threat to them. It has nothing to do with you having done anything wrong. I’ve seen examples of a lot of what Brahms spoke of above.

I watch interviews with these old professional wrestlers I watched when I was a kid. I do so in part because they were part of a time when I lived with my grandmother, back around 6 or 7 and when we visited her later on as well. It’s amazing how jealousy turned people you thought of as good guys into such bitter old men.

You have those types in every type of profession and every walk of life.

“Always Do Your Best. Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.”~Miguel Angel Ruiz

Ruiz speaks the truth, right to the core of my thinking. Regrets are like a disease, a virus that spreads though your body. The more you feed it the more it will grow until it is all consuming. You abuse others for your regrets, your jealousy of those who did what you regret you didn’t do.

Regrets are easy to let go. Much like those memories of the first grade you can’t think of, regrets are in the past. I know, some regrets you have might be in your face every day.

“Regret is an odd emotion because it comes only upon reflection. Regret lacks immediacy, and so its power seldom influences events when it could do some good.”~William O Rourke

“Acceptance of what has happened is the first step to overcoming the consequences of any misfortune.”~William James

The above two quotes explain exactly what purpose regrets serve and how to move on from them or even avoid having them. The quote by William James goes along with something I said recently.

“Recognition of truths in your life is a big step toward a happier you. A bigger step is taking action upon that recognition.”~Me

We all have disappointments in our lives, those missed opportunities that we brought about by our own action or inaction. Nothing can be done about them now. Well, at least most of them can’t be changed. Looking forward is always the best thing to do, even if there are no regrets in your past.

For an article I wrote about a luncheon with a top executive and self-made woman with Coca-Cola visitDo your best…or not at all…advice from success”.

Much Love, Success, and Respect


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#100WordWisdom Haters Gonna Hate.

Haters are going to hate no matter what, sometimes they just spin their tales in an attempt to make you look bad. I found that out recently. As I fumed for a few minutes I slowly let it go, made sure their attempts were futile and carried on with my positively motivational positive day.

Not every day will be pain free of pain in the necks showing up. Having lived with it for so long I know to deal with it and move on. I had to deal with it quickly because of my son. We’re having a good day.

Much Love, Success, and Respect


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Be Honest for Yourself, NOT the World.

Do you show the world the real you? Do you hide? Are you afraid of the real you? Are you ashamed of the real you? Why?

There is a lot that goes into being the real you. You ever think about who you are and then think about who you were born as?

You know that jerk that lives next door or maybe in your own house? Guess what, he/she didn’t start out that way. Jerks are made, not born. That means who you are now, is not who you were born as, it’s who you were made into. And if you were made into something then you can be made into something else.

My Honest Self

I don’t present my honest self to the world because I am concerned with the world’s opinion of me. I present my honest self because I care about my opinion of myself. The world’s opinion can be swayed by mood, a word misunderstood, a lie spoken about me, or any number of other things I am certain you may think of.

Being my honest self does not mean I am a rude, intolerant, jerk of a man about things I don’t agree with or believe in. If asked I will say I don’t agree with something if I don’t agree with it. I do not have to be rude about it. I wanted to make that clear as some people are that way when they consider that as being what a person can be honest and true with about. Please refer to what I spoke of at the beginning of the article.

Today I want to be honest about who I am. I am a positive man, which has taken time to bring to the forefront of who I am. I am a positive man who is currently at battle with negatives. We are all at battle with negatives, however in my case I believe I am facing some extreme negatives because I am putting forth a message of positivity in hopes people will be helped and in a small way, a small step at a time, the world will change.

This sounds like a grandiose idea. Where else does every change of the world begin but with an idea of some sort? There are a great many problems in the world that could be solved with people starting by being positive about their own lives. By doing this, they can then be positive about others and for others.

My Honest Future

I love writing fiction. I do it for young people I know. Usually they are written as presents because I cannot afford anything else. I have written some for adults as well. I have written novels and submitted them, to only end up rejected. Rejected rightfully so.

Over the years I have come to terms with my writing and have improved as I have done so. I have not given up on my fiction. I have great story ideas, it’s the execution of those ideas I am working on. And I realized recently that I don’t need to be in a hurry and put out something that is garbage.

However, there is a part of me that I have been denying although it is obvious and throughout my writing here on my site. I am a teacher. Above and beyond anything else, that is what I am. That is what I was born to be. How I teach is up to me. What I teach is up to me. I choose to teach through writing. What do I choose to teach?

I keep returning to things ultimately leading to positivity. Therefore, I am going to teach on positivity. I have been doing that quite a bit of late, and I hope some of you have benefited from it. Moving forward I will be doing it in a, hopefully, better way now that I have accepted what I am doing. Fiction is not gone from my life. I love history and there will be historical fiction related stories from me. Some I believe need to be abandoned in order for me to become focused on what needs to be.


That being said, there may be some changes here on Ronovan Writes, nothing drastic but perhaps a feel or a focus. I do hope you stick around to find out what happens as I explore a new path in this fork in the road I’ve arrived at. Poetry will remain, of course. Expression of feelings and thoughts through poetry is a way for one to deal with those feelings and thoughts in an artistic and useful form. Poetry is therapy. Much of my poetry, if not all of it, is therapy to me and it is honest and truthful.

Much Love, Success, and Respect


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Positivity: Increasing Your Positivity Percentage

Last week I asked you to List the Negatives in Your Life under different headings:

  • External Negatives
  • Internal Negatives
  • Temporary Negatives
  • Constant Negatives

I Know of What I Speak

I want to go ahead and get something out of the way here. I am not writing about this from an outsider point of view. I’ve been through life events, young and old, that some would never want to go through. These events could make me into a Negative, bitter, angry man. If you’ve been reading my blog you probably realize I am not any of those things. Therefore, as I talk about things remember I have been there, I am there, and I am doing these things myself.

Negativity is a Perception

One of the first things I want to explain to you this week is how something impacting your thoughts about you and life is a perception. Yes, I know, bad is bad. I’ve been there. Perhaps you were physically abused as a child or worse. That being a Negative action is not in doubt, but how you ALLOW it to impact your life is now up to you. You can change your perception, your moving onward, about it.

One of the first articles I ever wrote here on the blog was called Don’t ALLOW people to control YOU. That was over a year ago. If you’ve read that article you might understand why I am going to say your External Negatives category list should be empty.

My definition of External Negatives is “negatives that are outside your control. Things you are not able to personally control your long term reactions to or veer away from being influenced by.”

However, if you mentally perceive the event or influence as an event, an occurrence, it then has no lasting influence on your mental and emotional life. The External Negatives are in actuality only Negative on your mental and emotional Positivity because you ALLOW them to be.

Ultimately it is about you determining how you will handle something, no matter how bad it may be to other aspects of your life.

An example might be a divorce. It’s possible for a lot of baggage to come out of a divorce and one piece of baggage might be not allowing you to trust someone enough to love them or get in a relationship with them.

The new person has done nothing to you. But what YOU have done is ALLOW an event, whatever the cause of the divorce, to keep you from loving again. Caution—yes. Total shut down—no. You can learn, teach, train yourself how to look at things as being events, passing moments in time.

An Increase in Your Positive Percentage Brings Success

Now, move all those External Negatives you may have to the Internal Negatives list. Why, because you have control over what they are to you. We all want to decrease the Negativity in our lives. Positivity leads to happiness and also to success. Success? Yes.

I am not talking about you becoming a millionaire. I am talking about relationship success, friendship success and your happiness success. If you are Positive, people then see an upbeat air about you which leads one to interpret you being happy and Positive.

You are successful if you’re Positive Percentage is high. You have overcome the perceptions of Negativity in your life. You are upbeat because you are confident. “I can do this.” “I got this.” No, those are not mantras. I’m not into those.

One Baby Step for Positivity is One Giant Step for Happiness

Regardless of what your Negatives are, you can overcome them. Remember, Negative is a perception, an opinion. However, ALLOWING it to be a Negative on you and your life? It’s a matter of time and attitude as to what it does to you.

You may have 20 things on your lists, but can you overcome all those Negatives at once and keep them away? Some of you just said or thought, “Yes I can.” Go for it if you like. For the rest of us who have been through up and down battles with so many things in our lives, we are going to do what it takes to be a success at life.

What we are going to do is not the typical increasing your Positives, but increase your Percentage of Positives. How do we do this? By ridding our lives of the Negatives. What will this do? The first and most obvious will be making for happier, more satisfied selves. That in turn will create environments of improvement, of Positivity. With numerous people doing this and spreading the idea, you then have people focusing on Positives and on taking ownership of their being Positive and not relying on others to give them opportunities for Positivity.

You might have read books, watched videos, or even attended seminars and workshops on how to handle Negativity. Many of these options attempt to have you basically ignore the negatives of life by using meditation or various stress relief techniques as a magic pill, which they are not intended to be.

I have started meditating, but not to rid myself of negatives. I see meditation and the various stress relief techniques as maintenance tools. Do not take this as a knock against any of the mentioned techniques. They all serve their purposes for their purposes. But when people try to say this or that is the key to a successful happiness life my alarms go off and I want to tell people who get pulled into it to wake up.

The only way to a successful happiness life is you taking an active role in getting there.

We are going to do something that makes people achieve goals. We’re going to take baby steps, not giant leaps that will skip over things we need to handle. We are not going to ignore our Negatives, we are going to face them head on and then flick them off like pieces of lint in the future.

What are we going to do?

So what do I want you to do? I want you to learn to deal with the Negatives in your life, those that have happened and those that will happen. The idea of you never having Negatives again is a bit insane. And I will not even remotely tell you differently. If you ever see a method who says that, walk on by.

But here is what you can do to make your life more Positive Percentage.

By learning to handle the Negatives you have, you will be able to immediately rid yourself of the future Negatives as they come in. You will recognize them as they arrive. You will even learn how to avoid certain situations that lead to Negatives.

As you’ve gone through and made your lists you have experienced the feelings attached to those moments again. You have recalled how and when they happened and with whom they happened. Remember all of that. If you have that type of feeling in the future stop and realize what is happening, then handle it.

Don’t look for Negatives to happen. We self-fulfill a great many things in our lives and Negativity is one of them. I have told many people, many young people, “Don’t worry about something, don’t stress about something, that hasn’t happened.”

Easy to say, right? It’s how I live. I am the calm in the storm. I am the one that sits for half hour to an hour or more while others vent about the world and then give them their chill pills to bring them back down to reality land. They blow things up to monster levels when in reality they are Smurf level.

Setting an Attainable Goal

Today you will pick one negative from your Internal Negatives to rid your life of. Look at all of those you’ve held onto and decide what you think would be the easiest to get rid of. Once this happens, work on thinking that Negative through and realizing what you have ALLOWED it to do to you. Then get rid of it. Think it through. Look at it as a problem like any other problem, because in reality it is just another problem. One for the next week. No pressures here to race. Once you have that one in hand, move to the next less easy one.

Why the easiest? You want to learn how to handle Negatives. As you learn to handle each one that you perceive as being a little more Negative you will build up experience and become a pro by the time you get to that big one. If you start out with the big one first and you fail you won’t try the others. Also if that big one involves a person, you want to be prepared and confident in yourself and your abilities to face that Negative.

There is no hurry. You were doing nothing with these Negatives before, but now you will be doing something.

Ultimately you might be asking yourself why do all of this. You’ve spent a long time avoiding these parts of your life. It’s time to face them, and take back control of your happiness. Do I have Negatives in my life? Oh yeah. But they wash over me and I am cool with it. I realize what they are. I realize they are often times attempts to bring me down.

While you work on your list keep an eye out for the next part of the series Creating a Positive Environment. This is going to be an incredibly difficult thing for some to do. Again, baby steps. I am not a giant leap kind of guy, even though I may be kind of tall. By taking smaller steps, I don’t pull a muscle and get hurt. The same goes for creating a better life.

The actual next article is Live in the Now, not in the Then. The article you are in, I felt after thinking on it a bit, is too long, thus I wrote something that is shorter and to the point for those who might prefer that if you didn’t quite get something out of this one.

Much Love, Success, and Respect


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Letting Go so you can Go On.

Themes. I guess you could say my writing of late has a theme to it and today will be no different. A few months ago I made a conscious decision to begin writing about positivity. Oddly enough it turns out I have been writing about that since my blog began, I just didn’t realize it because of all the somewhat angst riddled poetry I was writing back then.

Yes, I can do angst well.

Six months ago I wrote an article titled Choose to Let Go. The article spoke somewhat about my amnesia and how I look at it and move on in spite of it. As I was thinking of this article for today that article came to mind and I realized how themes seem to come back around. Cyclical is what people call something like that.

I write about these things because I continue to see these things and they are everyday obstacles in my path. The difference in them being cyclical or not is how you handle them.

Cyclical means you haven’t discovered how to deal with something. I am not speaking of how every year the tornadoes come through the south here in the US. I am talking about those things you can control. Although if you don’t want to keep running for cover every year because a tornado coming . . . move.

One thing that comes up all the time for all of us is people slighting us or hurting us in some way. Hurt can mean hurt feelings, made fun of us, forgot about us in some way or anything that impacts us emotionally in a negative manner.

I was watching some interviews of professional wrestlers-I don’t actually watch matches, I watch the real person interviews about their careers, the not fake stuff part of the world, I know, I’m weird. Anyway, I noticed how so many people hate this one wrestler because of how he used to be. Since that time and for the past 13 years he has been a born again Christian and very devoted.

These people he slighted in the past, or who felt they were slighted because his career rose as theirs fell, refuse to believe who he is now, that he has changed. They want to hold on to that, well, truly childish and horrible acting person he once was. I mean he really was bad.

You can look at these people and see this hate and bitterness eating away at them. It’s in every part of them from the way they look at the camera to the way they talk and from the way the walk to the way they act in the ring. I know most of pro wrestling is scripted but the wrestlers have to act and by allowing the bitterness to remain they can’t be anything but these mean guys called heels. Even when they are good guys, baby faces, they are still not quite fully there. Then the success doesn’t come and they hate that guy who was a success even more.

So that was one example, another is as I was reading some sports clips online one was about a pro pitcher in baseball who looked at a fan calling to him. The guy blew the pitcher a kiss. The pitcher did a ‘say what’ type of face, turned around, but then turned back quick, caught the kiss and then tossed it onto the field. It was an obvious joke. Yet the writer made it out to be something bad.

That led me to wonder who spends their time, their days, looking for something they can put a negative spin on? Who makes a career of this?

People filling their lives with negativity all the time.

I was looking for that perfect verse to share today about forgiveness. There are so many in the Bible. To paraphrase a saying “if something has to be mentioned so many times there is a reason for it.” I came across a short one.

And forgive us our debts,
    as we also have forgiven our debtors.-Matthew 6:12

When I came to that verse I sat and thought for a while. That wrestler can’t make people forgive him for what he once was. But he has forgiven all those who did the same to him through the years and asked God to forgive him. His life is in a good place with a ranch, a wife, and two great kids. He’s retired from wrestling and considered a legend and perhaps one of the Top 10 wrestling entertainers ever, but he doesn’t focus on the wrestling part of his world.

He’s a dad and husband who helps home school his kids. I mean they are on a ranch in the middle of nowhere. Those who hate him are in nowhereville wrestling for noname wrestling.

I’m not saying forgiving others will bring you great things, but it will bring you great feelings. Once you let go of all of that baggage you grow taller. You grow taller in the eyes of those around you as they see something change in you. Just think about it. If you go around brooding and angry all the time, to me that means you are filled with hate and doubt and are frustrated. If you go around as though things don’t bother you, you then appear confident and people are drawn to you. People then want to be around you and work with you.

Forgive people things. Seriously. What can you do by holding onto something that can’t be changed, something that happened years ago? Let it go. You don’t even realize what those little things have done to you over the years and what they have turned you into.

Much Love, Much Success, and Much Respect to You All,


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Don’t ALLOW people to control YOU.

Check this article I wrote back in May of last year. It was one of the most popular at the time and considering the few followers I had then, it has a good number of likes. It will come in handy to have read as the weeks pass here on the blog with some things I have planned.


Don’t ALLOW people to control YOU.

by: Ronovan


Why are you not a success? You know why, because everyone is right about you. You give up every time.

Sounds a bit harsh doesn’t it? It does when put like I just did. But that’s the way we are told or the way we think it.

I wrote recently about Female Executivea lady executive from Coca Cola that I heard at a business luncheon. In that article I wrote about doing your best at whatever you are doing at a given time. Well I mentioned she gave two pieces of advice that day. I actually typed those pieces of advice up and saved them on my computer. What? You think I remember all this stuff?

As important as doing your best always is, controlling you is even more so. What do I mean by controlling you?

You LET others cause YOU to…

View original post 526 more words

The secret to a positive day.

I wanted to do a Throwback Thursday Post, but I have so many I found it difficult to sort through them all to find one to share again. I did find this one in my folders on my computer. I didn’t find it in my posts and thought why not share it now. This is a favorite topic of mine.

How do you start your day? Yeah, I know, we all hit the bathroom first usually, but let’s say everything is set and good to go, what do you do?

More than likely you are beginning your day the wrong way. The way you start your day has an impact on the way you live your day.

“Bull, Ronovan. Other people dictate my day!”

I don’t want to hear it. When I wake up in the morning, I am the one in control of my thoughts and actions. I am actually in control of my reactions the entire day. If I begin with a positive and centered self, a truly focused self, then I can be positive in my interactions for the day and stay positive throughout the day.

If you don’t start out focused then you are simply reacting the rest of the day and often times with negative emotions attached.

“So how do we do this, oh great and wise Ronovan?”

Yes I hear the sarcasm in the voice.

It’s different for everyone.

What get’s you calm and focused?

Here are examples:


Prayer or Reading the Bible


A cup of coffee and:

  • watching the sun rise
  • reading the newspaper
  • listening to music
  • looking at the birds in the bird feeder
  • reading the next chapter in a book

Listening to podcasts, music, or talk radio

Mentally going through a checklist of your day

Just knowing what you have planned for the day, even if a routine day, makes it easier on you.

Beginning your preparation for the day the night before can help

I like having my clothes ready, and an idea of what my breakfast will be and if I am needing to prepare a lunch or not. I like to think about people I will come into contact with, that I know about, and if I have an appointment and be mentally ready for that.

There are little things we can do to take care of the parts of life that are in our control, so why not do it? If I can start my day off calmly then I am not beginning it running around already hectic and in a bad mood then that’s a great start.

There are numerous ways to become calm and centered for the beginning of your day. The point is to do it.

I have had to take control of my life more lately. Even being in the physical and mental state I am in, my life is hectic with two blogs running and basically life in general. I have felt life crashing lately, with the crashing even seeping into my writing, so I have taken control of it to the extreme for the moment. Do you know what happens to your life if you are not in control of it? If you don’t start yourself off focused? You lose it, and you could lose your friends. Before that happens I decided to refocus, like I once did, every day. I am prioritizing and organizing.

Some people may not understand it, as it’s difficult to explain, but I am fine with that. This is me, the most important person in my life. I am the most important me in the life of the people I know. I want to be here for both them and me for a long time.

Here is a quote from an ancestor of mine.


Looking at this post I wrote back in September of last year, it seems I need to once again refocus. I’ve lost a lot lately. And I lose more every single day. I received an email, an understanding email from someone, then they stopped following me on Twitter. Not certain I understand that, but I am coming to terms with something. I don’t have to understand everything. The best thing I can do is try to understand me and what I am about to do, whatever that may be at the time.

Preparation. Starting my day off the right way. It’s not only the secret to a positive day, it’s the secret to a positive life, a successful life. A successful life? That’s for another post.

Much Respect



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Someday (Letter Three)

This is a Becky Meyer of the blog Humyn that I just connected with on Twitter today through Suzie’s #SundayBlogShare. Writing a becky-meyerletter to herself? I read it and I think it is a great idea. I think in a way we all do it in different forms, but I really like this. I see a bloghop out of this she could start #LetterToMyself. I really enjoyed this and other things I read. Follow her on her blog and Twitter.


Someday, this will be a memory. Someday you'll be okay. Someday, this will be just a memory. Someday, you’ll be okay.

This is my third letter to myself. I know, I write letters to myself a lot. But writing in itself is cathartic, and this letter-writing technique has proven to be just what I needed.

Letter One

Letter Two


Dear Me,

Maybe one day I’ll stop writing you letters.  Right now, I haven’t yet said enough. It’s crucial to communicate with you.

Today is one of those beautiful “good” days. Your thoughts are clear, and you feel in control.

I cannot, however, explain why your negative thoughts surrounded you a couple of days ago. They swarmed like bees, stinging you again and again. They made their way into your mouth, down your throat, and suffocated you. You collapsed, succumbing to these thoughts instead of controlling them. That day, your negativity controlled you.

At this point in time, I still…

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