A Journey of Decisions.

We are a pitiful lot, aren’t we? We look around and see things we want. We want that car he has, or the job she has, and don’t forget the hair she has, but then you can buy that. That’s just the beginning of the wants. Can you imagine if there were a true Want Ads section of a newspaper?

I am about to do something that will help make me a successful and happy man. This something that a small percentage of humanity will do in order to reach that pinnacle of life. I am going to begin a journey.

This isn’t a journey to Disney World or the Grand Canyon, although for some, that may be the journey chosen. No, this journey, this Route of Life starts at my current existence and choosing my chosen point of happiness and success, making decisions along the way to make it all come true, before parking my Ferrari Portofino at the final Exit of Life.

You are thinking that we all do this every day of our lives. That’s not true. You see, we all have this GPS of Life we start out with at birth. Point A is the day we are born. Point B is when we should start making decisions about our future, and Point C is the end.

Point A you can’t control, you’re strapped in your car seat in the self-driving car that carries you through life and head to Point B. Most of us, when we turn 14 or so, the Age of Decision Making, move from the back seat to the passenger seat for a better view, just so we can see things we want. You are delivered to your high school advisor and she asks what classes you want to take, what school sports or activities you want to be in, and what are your plans for after graduation. You push the well-worn button number one, then as the window of your car rises, you fall in line behind your best friend and the other lemmings.

You enter Point C, the Exit of Life, into the GPS of Life with adequate restrooms available along the way and the trip continues. The car of your life drives along and when obstacles appear, it picks the easiest way around that obstacle and continues along the way with no side trips or new point C in your trip. All easy and simple.

You graduate high school. Sadly for you, your best friend is accepted to a college out of state because she made decisions you didn’t know about. You enter the college nearest to home. While you get your Business or Education degree you meet someone, because that is the GPS of Life’s most used route from your point B. You stare wide-eyed like a deer caught in blue tinted halogen headlights as you walk down the aisle because you are supposed to do that after you graduate college, even though you aren’t certain that you even have feelings of like, let alone love, for your future spouse.

Now you are at least happy your high school advisor suggested you enter the “adequate restrooms” into the GPS of Life, because if you are a man, you have married a woman, who at one time drank five margaritas and three shots of something that was never identified and danced for three hours without stopping, whose bladder has now suddenly become the size of a raisin or if you are a woman, you need to get warm because your husband doesn’t understand that normal humans need to use heaters during winter, not air conditioners, which means you need coffee every 30 minutes, and of course that means you need to pee, and the cycle continues. And let us not mention what happens once the children come along. And the dog. The incontinent dog that your wife just won’t allow you to put to sleep although it can’t walk or even poop without you helping it stand, and you sometimes have need to poke the poor thing to start its breathing again. Try to look cool in that grassy area at the convenience store holding up the back end of a Boxer so it can poop. That’s the Success Life of Happiness.

I think you probably see what the GPS of Life is all about. You are simply a passenger that makes the stops and visits the places between points B and C that are most common for people in your general area and demographic, which your high school advisor helpfully programmed in for you at Point B, the Age of Decision Making.

That describes a very large percentage of the world. For some, they can’t get off that GPS of Life route. They are born in to a world where there are very few stops between Point A and Point C, and there is no Age of Decision Making. But for people that are reading this, very likely you can reroute. And thank God, Oprah or BTS for that.

For me, a journey is a series of decisions you make. The first decision is often the hardest decision to make but it is the one that frees you. It could be you quitting a job to start your own business while you have no guarantee of success or income for the next month or six. It could be moving thousands of miles away from everyone and everything you know. It could be a change of your current family life package.

One piece of advice at this point, an aside if you will, tell your doctor about your beginning a journey, because it is very likely your blood pressure will be rising at first due to stress, unless your rerouting is a fabulous opportunity with nothing to leave behind. For the rest of us, read me, you don’t want to get misdiagnosed and end up doing a nuclear stress test.

People that can sit down, analyze their life and then say they are truly happy are those who have taken journeys and achieved success. You need to define what your success will be. For me, that journey is beginning late in life. But, is it ever too late to become happy? Is a person ever too old or too far along the GPS of Life route to swerve in to that next exit, take a deep breathe, and reroute?

By this time next year, I should be at a Point C in life, that new Starting/Current Life point working on a Point D, Success and Happiness. No one make any assumptions about what that C is. I am an odd one and it could be anything. I am the amnesiac who wrote an historical fiction novel about pirates and met a blogging friend from Australia, who was born in Malaysia to Chinese parents, at a Cracker Barrel in Georgia for breakfast and introduced her to grits for the first time in her life. In my life, anything can happen. And I want anything to happen. I am going to have fun until that Point E, the Exit of Life, comes along. Bring it on world, I got your GPS right here.

Love is…

“Love is when the other person’s happiness is more important than your own.” Loretta Young

I found this to be an interesting quote. At first I saw it from one side as an unselfish act, but then I began to wonder. What if your focus on their happiness deprives them of something? What if they want to make you happy? Now you are happy because you make them happy, but they are the ones that want to give you happiness. How difficult is it to have someone understand that their enjoyment of whatever it is that you are doing makes you happy and that’s it?

I have that dilemma. You see, I am a happiness giver. I think it’s partially because I don’t know how to accept the giving of happiness. Seeing someone happy because of something I do makes me happy. So am I making myself happy or are they by enjoying it making me happy?

Who is the happiness giver?

You see, my problem is I think too much. However, I see thinking too much better than not thinking enough. Eventually I figure it out. I realize that regardless of who is doing what that as long as both people end up happy, that’s what’s important. Sometimes, my accepting happiness makes the other person happy, and that is what love is. Even though I may not quite understand the receiving of it, I know it makes the other person happy, so I go along with it and enjoy the fact they are happy, thus I’m giving them joy.

How’s your head so far? I’ve had to unclench my jaw three time so far making my way through this one.

If you are going through the same situation, just relax and take happiness as it comes. It’s not a turn taker either. Just do it.


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On Writing.

“To write great you must read greater.” Ronovan Hester

Ronovan Hester To Write Great you must Read Greater image.

To write greater, read these:

Dancing to an Irish Reel by Claire Fullerton

Dancing to an Irish Reel by Claire Fullerton

The Judas Apocalypse by Dan McNeil

Dan McNeil Author

Sex & Samosas by Jasmine Aziz

Sex and Samosas by Jasmine Aziz image

10 Quotes of Trust.

“Trust yourself. Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life. Make the most of yourself by fanning the tiny, inner sparks of possibility into flames of achievement.” Golda Meir ((born Golda Mabovitch, Голда Мабович; Golda Meyerson/Myerson between 1917-1956; May 3, 1898 – December 8, 1978) was an Israeli teacher, kibbutznik, stateswoman and politician and the fourth Prime Minister of Israel.
“A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.” Charles Spurgeon (/ˈhædən ˈspɜːrdʒən/; 19 June 1834 – 31 January 1892) was a British Particular Baptist preacher. Spurgeon remains highly influential among Christians of various denominations, among whom he is known as the “Prince of Preachers”.
“Trusting your individual uniqueness challenges you to lay yourself open.” James Broughton (November 10, 1913 – May 17, 1999) was an American poet and poetic filmmaker. He was part of the San Francisco Renaissance, a precursor to the Beat poets. He was an early bard of the Radical Faeries[1] as well as a member of The Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence,[2] serving her community as Sister Sermonetta.
“Trust your own instinct. Your mistakes might as well be your own, instead of someone else’s.” Billy Wilder (/ˈwaɪldər/; German: [ˈvɪldɐ]; June 22, 1906[1] – March 27, 2002) was an Austrian-born American filmmaker, screenwriter, producer, artist and journalist, whose career spanned more than fifty years and sixty films. He is regarded as one of the most brilliant and versatile filmmakers of Hollywood’s golden age. With The Apartment, Wilder became the first person to win Academy Awards as producer, director and screenwriter for the same film.

 

“It is unfortunate, considering that enthusiasm moves the world, that so few enthusiasts can be trusted to speak the truth.” Arthur Balfour, 1st Earl of Balfour, KG, OM, PC, DL (UK /ˈbælfə/;[1] 25 July 1848 – 19 March 1930) was a British Conservative politician who was the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom from July 1902 to December 1905, and later Foreign Secretary.

 

“A man who trusts nobody is apt to be the kind of man nobody trusts.” Harold MacMillan, 1st Earl of Stockton, OM, PC, FRS[2] (10 February 1894 – 29 December 1986) was a British Conservative politician and statesman who served as the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom from 10 January 1957 to 18 October 1963. Nicknamed “Supermac,” he was known for his pragmatism, wit and unflappability.
“Trust is the first step to love.” Munshi Premchand, Premchand (pronounced [mʊnʃi preːm t͡ʃənd̪] ( listen)) (31 July 1880 – 8 October 1936), better known as Munshi Premchand, Munshi being an honorary prefix, was an Indian writer famous for his modern Hindustani literature. He is one of the most celebrated writers of the Indian subcontinent,[1] and is regarded as one of the foremost Hindustani writers of the early twentieth century.[2] Born Dhanpat Rai Srivastav, he began writing under the pen name “Nawab Rai”, but subsequently switched to “Premchand”. A novel writer, story writer and dramatist, he has been referred to as the “Upanyas Samrat” (“Emperor among Novelists”) by some Hindi writers. His works include more than a dozen novels, around 250 short stories, several essays and translations of a number of foreign literary works into Hindi.

 

“Let every eye negotiate for itself and trust no agent.” William Shakespeare (/ˈʃeɪkspɪər/;[1] 26 April 1564 (baptised) – 23 April 1616)[nb 1] was an English poet, playwright, and actor, widely regarded as the greatest writer in the English language and the world’s pre-eminent dramatist.[2] He is often called England’s national poet, and the “Bard of Avon”.[3][nb 2] His extant works, including collaborations, consist of approximately 38 plays,[nb 3] 154 sonnets, two long narrative poems, and a few other verses, some of uncertain authorship. His plays have been translated into every major living language and are performed more often than those of any other playwright.

 

“Trust in what you love, continue to do it, and it will take you where you need to go.” Natalie Goldberg (born 1948) is an American popular New Age author and speaker[1] She is best known for a series of books which explore writing as Zen practice.

 

“Put more trust in nobility of character than in an oath.” Solon (Greek: Σόλων; c. 638 – c. 558 BC) was an Athenian statesman, lawmaker, and poet. He is remembered particularly for his efforts to legislate against political, economic, and moral decline in archaic Athens.[1] His reforms failed in the short term, yet he is often credited with having laid the foundations for Athenian democracy.[2][3][4] He wrote poetry for pleasure, as patriotic propaganda, and in defense of his constitutional reforms.


Amber Wake: Gabriel Falling Available on Amazon.

Amber Wake Gabriel Falling Book Quote Image

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Leadership at Every Level.

“Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much.” (Luke 16:10).

Throughout your life there will be people in leadership positions you’ll look to, entrust in part of your wellbeing and future. Some leaders we are involved in selecting. A great way to determine a leader is to look at what they do with what they already have.

How do they take care of what they have?

What are the results of what they have?

Do they always try to put their best foot forward for the good of those they are leading?

The amazing thing about this day and age is we can see into every facet of a person’s life. There is very little anyone can hide. I’m not sure if that is a good thing or not, even for someone wanting to be a leader. People make mistakes in their private lives. What they do with their public lives is another matter.

If a person has a history of dishonesty and disaster on one level of leadership, why would we think there would not be blunders at a higher level of leadership?

Trust and Faithfulness



Amber Wake: Gabriel Falling on Amazon

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The greatest opportunity. (A Haiku)

Freely give yourself

A great opportunity

Is in your own mind.

 

Freely give yourself a great opportunity.

A great opportunity is in your own mind.

Much Love, Success, and Respect

Ronovan

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Stand up for yourself. #Poetry

Stand up for yourself, because no one else will.
If you truly believe what you believe then have resolve of steel.
Don’t worry about people and what they may think.
If they love you for you then they won’t even blink.

Things are important in this day and age.
We don’t have those heaven wise men, a guru, a sage.
Don’t let fear conquer your heart and your mind.
Stand up for yourself and be one of a kind.

Hate, ridicule, may follow your each and every word.
But to you and yourself at least you will have been heard.

Much Love, Success, and Respect
Ronovan

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Live in the Now, not with the Ghost of the Past. #BeWoW

nemoMy theme this week so far has been silence. Keeping one’s silence is golden. You appear wise when not engaging a fool, even if you are a fool yourself, which in some way or other we all are.

Living in the moment for me means I don’t ALLOW those old moments to flare up my emotions to interfere with my dealings with the moments of today.

If we all ALLOWED them to happen, we would never love as we all most likely have had broken hearts.

By living in the moment we ALLOW ourselves to experience things we would have missed out on otherwise. We don’t ALLOW fears to get in the way of adventures. By this I mean foolish fears, not wise fears that bring us caution.

Living in the moment is a difficult thing to do at first. With practice it can be done.

ALLOW yourself to enjoy life. ALLOW yourself to be more than you ever imagined.

As pain is the past,

The future’s in the present,

With great hopes and dreams.

Here are some free Kindle books pertaining to living in the moment. I haven’t read them yet, but they have good reviews and I thought I would bring them to your attention. Quotes are from Amazon Book Descriptions. Click images for Amazon book page.

41aih0k2u+L._AA160_“After reading Remove Negative Thinking, you will be able to:
– Recognize and remove your negative thinking patterns throughout the day
– Reframe how you see the world
– Connect to your passion and purpose
– Focus on abundance and live in the now
– Move outside your comfort zone
– Stay motivated and surround yourself with positive people

 

51R+3-36xNL._AA160_“This inspirational guide reminds you that life can be good, no matter what challenges you may be facing right now. Be present, see the divine at work in all circumstances, and experience ordinary life as sacred. Learn to practice the art of abundance as a form of spiritual awareness based in gratitude. “

 

Much Love, Success, and Respect

Ronovan

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#100WordWisdom Silence Wins the Day.

Know your adversary. How to learn your adversary? You observe them. And how do you observe? You remain silent.

Silence is an unsung hero of many battles. Silence is maddening to a fool. Silence is maddening to the arrogant. Silence is the enemy of your foe.

The more you refrain from engaging in banter with the witless, the more foolish your foe seems, because the more they talk the more truth people see. People watching see a deteriorating mind who rants on and on against someone who speaks not an inflammatory word.

In the long run, silence wins the day.

(Remember #BeWoW is Tomorrow.)

Much Love, Success, and Respect

Ronovan

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#100WordWisdom Haters Gonna Hate.

Haters are going to hate no matter what, sometimes they just spin their tales in an attempt to make you look bad. I found that out recently. As I fumed for a few minutes I slowly let it go, made sure their attempts were futile and carried on with my positively motivational positive day.

Not every day will be pain free of pain in the necks showing up. Having lived with it for so long I know to deal with it and move on. I had to deal with it quickly because of my son. We’re having a good day.

Much Love, Success, and Respect

Ronovan

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#100WordWisdom Your Negatives are Good For You.

Negatives in your life are good. Okay, wait, recognizing you have negatives is good. Negatives are your way of coping and realizing things aren’t right in some way.

The only thing bad about a negative is what you do with it. For one thing, you don’t hang onto a negative. Let it go.

Secondly, you retain the wisdom of the negative in order that the next time something similar happens, you are prepared and are able to push through it with greater ease.

Keep a Negative Journal. Note how you worked through each one. You will be wiser and happier.

Remember, if you have a #100WordWisdom, ping back or at least copy and paste the link to it in the comments below as well as tweet it with the hashtag so I can share it on Twitter with my Friends.

Much Love, Success, and Respect

Ronovan

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Wisdom in 100 Words for Today: Say You love them.

I thought I would start something a little new here.

100 Word Wisdom: Say You Love Them.

It’s the idea of sharing a piece of advice in 100 words. If it takes longer than that it’s too much for most people to listen to anyway. And yes, the following is exactly 100 words.

 

Tell the one you love you love them. Never have the attitude of “they know I do”. Often times, relationships die out because of a lack of communication, yeah, I know, an old cliché. You know why cliché’s are clichés, because they happen often enough for people to say them that much.

Communication doesn’t even need to be words. A touch, a smile, a look, an action of some kind will tell a person you love them. But actions and words need to work together to form a truth. One without the other is like a yin without a yang.

(As suggested in the comments below this will now be a weekly blog event everyone can join in and share. Much like my #BeWoW, just share your link in the comments of my post on Tuesdays and if you tweet use #100WordWisdom so like minded people can see and RT your Wisdom. Thanks to Lori Carlson of The Rattling Bones blog for the nudge. Follow her on Twitter )

Much Respect

Ronovan

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The best tip I have to get Blog Traffic.

Thought I would give the biggest and best tip I have about blogging views and traffic today. But you’ll have to wait a moment for it.

I’ve seen so many posts/articles that go on about how if you post like this or that and during these hours and the like you will get a lot more views. To some extent they are correct.

I’ve written articles about where the views come from as in do the source of the clicks to your site come from Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr or whatever.

But here is the honest deal to it all. The more friends you have that know about your site and read your site the more people you have share your articles elsewhere.

I don’t share my work in many places right now. Twitter is pretty much it, and Tumblr by default. Really those two are defaults built into my blog. But I get views from other sources. Facebook is one. I rarely share an article on facebook, yet I get a decent number of views from there, well on average they are okay, but not like stellar. But for not even using facebook for the purpose of sharing my articles, getting views from there is pretty good. Same goes for Reddit.

You see, your focus should be on writing great content and making great friends. Doing that means you end up with a great blog. Those great friends share your work with their friends. Is that why you make those great friends? No. It is a side effect of doing what you are supposed to do on your blog-Write Great Content.

What is great content? That’s all dependent upon the writer. Do I have great content? I’m not sure. I write from the heart and mind and leave it at that. I don’t make the effort to weave a tapestry of words that will enthrall people. This article, for example, is all stream of thought and won’t be edited. This is it, how I think and how I write.

The content you come up with may end up being a poem, a short story, a blog tip or a challenge of some type. But the truth is, if you are writing those just to get traffic on your blog then people will know it. Thus, it’s not great content.

When I get a lot of traffic on my blog, it’s an accident. I don’t really post at the best times or anything. I post at midnight sometimes which is an awful time to do so and I get hit by 200+ clicks for that article.

You want lots of views to your site, lots of traffic? Write and make friends. Forget all the headaches of research. Yeah, read the advice, but don’t get caught up in all of it too much. Focus on those two things I mentioned and you’ll end up just fine.

Much Respect

Ronovan

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Love hard. My #BeWoW advice to my younger self.

Dear Me,

You will go through a lot of strange moments in your life. I’m not going to tell you what they are because I wouldn’t change anything that has made me who I am today, not even the bad moments. But I do have some advice.

There are so many times you will ALLOW others to bring you down. Your heart will break, be crushed. And that’s okay, I won’t tell you who by. Go ahead and fall in love. Love. Pour your heart into it. When things don’t turn out the way you like, don’t LET it almost destroy you. Use those moments to perhaps write. You want to be a writer but may not know it yet.

Always have hope. Keep it in mind that life exists tomorrow. All those disappointments have happened and are over. You make your future today. Love, work, life? All of those moments of trial and agony? Yes, you will feel it in the moment but don’t let it eat you alive to spiritual and emotional death.

But do experience those emotional moments, they will help you in the future to handle other moments. You will become someone who can understand others with the same moments in their lives. You will be able to help people and want to help them.

Love hard. Don’t go halfway. But take your time to know who you are about to love hard. And when you know its the right person, love hard in every way. Make that person know your love is a tangible thing that exists even when you are not in the room.

Loving hard might mean you fall hard and are broken had but the experience of love filling your heart, your soul, your entire being is worth every moment. Even if it’s for a day or a week, experience it. It’s worth every it.

That’s my advice today. Let those moments of agony go and use them to make you better and love hard with everything you’ve got.

Let’s connect.

https://twitter.com/RonovanWrites

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Ronovan-Writes/630347477034132

https://plus.google.com/u/0/+RonovanWrites/about

ronovan-profile-bw

 

 

 

 

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Choose to Let Go

I remember a time long ago when . . . wait a minute. No I don’t. I love amnesia jokes. Only an amnesiac can tell them though, so don’t get any ideas. I’m looking at you, what’s your name. You know who I’m talking about.

Over a year ago I had an epiphany, well actually I had an accident in my home. I think of that day as A loss of” my mind and think how it turns out that it was the best thing that could have happened to me in many ways. I got a chance to do something many people wish they could do but just don’t seem to find the time or maybe even courage to do. I got the chance to . . .

Choose To Let Go

You see, I have these writings about my past. I can delve into them daily in an attempt to become who I once was. I can read memories including old grudges. I can stumble over great long forgotten, even before last summer, nuggets of wonderful. Being able to choose, in someways, is “Finding Freedom” from all of those influences that led me to have certain opinions about things that were muddied with opinions and thoughts not quite as straight forward as they are now.

Yeah, I could become that old me.

Or and this is a BIG or.

I can choose to let go of a past and concentrate on becoming someone that I want to be. I have the important parts of that past in front of me so why not concentrate on those and making my life better? The important memories return as they need to, such as “Church Playground Memories” I wrote about several months ago about my son.

You know there are a lot of things in life you can’t control. I’ve discovered that. The one thing you can control is how your mind works. Do you love? Do you hate? Do you pick this meal or that meal? Do you read this book or that book? There are a great many things you can control.

One of those things you can control is choice. Choose to let go of those things in your life that just get in the way of you moving forward and becoming that kind, loving, creative, inspiring and whatever other positive words you can think of, person.

I had to let go of a lot of things. I even let go of family. Sounds bad doesn’t it? This part of my family was a negative influence on my recovery. Each time I see this family member’s name now, I think that negative thought. Some minds that have been damaged CAN’T let go of some things. So I did something I COULD do. I chose to remove contact with that person. You know when a family member makes jokes about your amnesia it’s a bit cruel. I’ve moved on from that, but I remember it. I chose to instead of being in contact with a relative I didn’t remember anyway and apparently didn’t have contact with for almost 20 years to focus on people that care about me now.

The mind, the heart, the body, all of you cannot heal without a positive environment. That is something I have discovered this past year. You have a problem? You can’t move forward? Look around you and see why. Then make a choice. Either stay and stagnate or move  on and heal.

Choose to lose to Gain Image

You’ll notice a few links today. Those are links to articles I’ve written about my dealings with my Amnesia.

Much Respect

Ronovan

For a different take on Choose To Let Go visit Meanings and Musings article of the same name by clicking the link.

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Relationship Advice-Man phrasing.

For those reading today, please keep in mind there is a bit of humor in the truth of the situations I will be sharing.

Sometimes there are moments in a man’s life when he just doesn’t know what to say. Some of us know in those moments to do the obvious . . . shut up. And then there are the other 90% of our gender. It doesn’t matter who your partner is, the male brain still has this innate ability to say the wrong things, even after deep, deep consideration–for those two seconds before opening mouth.

 

” Are you ready?”

To many men reading today they are thinking “What’s wrong with that?” Your significant one has a brand new shirt on and you don’t know if that means ready or not. They are wearing their ‘around the house’ clothes and you don’t realize it. You have just admitted your lack of attention and you are also coming across as impatient.

The alternative?

“Do I need to get ready yet?”

or even better

“Give me a 10 minute warning for when I need to get ready.”

That’s right. Have your clothes ready or even already be ready and the only thing left are perhaps shoes or getting your keys and jacket/coat.

“What’s for dinner?”

Yeah, you did it that time. You are assuming they will be making dinner. Perhaps that isn’t what you meant, but that’s what you just said.

The alternative?

“What sounds good for dinner tonight?”

At this point suggestions are made and possibly a division of cooking assignments are volunteered for.

“Did you . . .”

I wont even finish that one. Anytime you begin a sentence, a question with “Did you”, a mistake has been made. You are now about to make an accusation of forgetfulness. I know, I know that is not what you were going after but that is what is heard. Be honest, don’t you feel that way when it is said to you?

The alternative?

Depending on what it is, check for yourself if whatever it is was done. If not something you can check on then tread lightly.

All I can say here is ask a question that depends on whatever it is having been done.  For example; perhaps you are planning a trip to the mountains and all that is being waited on is the car being serviced. You could go to the car and check to see if it has been, look for a receipt, or even call the place where it would have been done, but if you are still not that motivated then perhaps this will work for you;

“Do you want to go to the mountains this weekend?”

I was going to add, “before the leaves have fallen” but that would have implied pressure to have something done. In this day and age none of us wants that.

“Is that okay with you?

Seems harmless enough but it implies the “This is what I want and I expect you to agree” thing.

The alternative?

“What do you think?”

I know, you are opening up a huge range of possibilities, or just two that you care about. Your way or their way, which would be any other way but your own. Well that’s when you have to learn.

Just a few of those phrases I’ve learned over the years. Some might help. Put some variation in it or they will know what you are doing as you answer or speak the same way each time.

Ronovan

Ron_LWI

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The Good, The Bad and The Ugly… of being Attractive

This is my Collaboration

with

Amanda of insidethelifeofmoi.

Insidethelifeofmoi_Amanda_Lyle_Copyright.jpg

We worked on this for quite a bit so please go and check it out.

Don’t let the word count fool you, it’s a quicker read than you think.

Much Respect
Ronovan

FemaleFocusFriday: What I NEED to know about ROMANCE from WOMEN!

Oh Laaaadies! Holla if ya heeeeaaarrrr meee!

I have no idea why I did that but it just came to mind as I started to type. Could you imagine living with me never knowing what to expect next? I’ve asked a range of advice questions for y’all before on some many things but today . . . a rarity is occurring. Ronovan . . . is . . .

UP-squirrel-dog-animated-gif

 

 

 

. . . focusing.

 

How to ask you Out In Person, Phone Call, or Text Message

That’s right ladies it’s

ROMANCE DAY!!!!

(Yes I can feel the sizzle now. And strangely I like it. Who brought jumper cables?)

romance_Bullock

Oh yeah, focus, Ronovan . . . focus. Be the romance to be the romance. Philosophically that makes sense to me but in print it looks rather odd. Much like my photo. Hmm. Oh yeah, focus. So in person, on the phone or . . . yeah Kelly done told us about the third one.

no_texting_date_kelly_Rowland

I just want to make it clear that I obviously don’t really need help in this area, ahem, but my men friends might appreciate some advice.

Blue Jeans or Slacks/Pants or Saggin’ & Draggin’

What do you want your date to dress in? I know, I know, you’re going to say it depends if you are going to a rodeo or some other place. Let’s pick some other place for this. No Bostonian leather shoes and double breasted suit at the poop palooza. You don’t want to be seen with a dork. I get it. Okay so I know which one you might do away with automatically. Unless the mood is a bit other than romantic and well . . .

saggin_and_draggin

Natural Musk, Cologne, or Duck Commander Date Repellent

You know, it’s a difficult question for us. Seriously. What if you are allergic or asthmatic? What if and what if? We don’t want to be in the middle of  a date and have to rush you to an emergency room, that would just waste of the all you can eat taco buffet at the Huddle House Mexican Night. I am guessing here, just guessing which one you would say no to.

He_Just_Peed_On_Me(And if anyone knows of an all you can eat Taco Mexican Night at Huddle House, please let me know. I can get frog legs at the local convenience store. I kid you not.)

 

Flowers or Nothing or What

Maybe it’s an old fashion thing to ask, but what would you call Romantic or even would like to see happen? We might think of flowers and then freeze at the thought you might be allergic or hate the flowers we pick out. Then if we bring nothing do we look like a cheapskate? Then what if we brought some alternatives? Like maybe a cat toy?

cat_squirrel

Car, Truck, or Something Else

Now when considering this you need to consider other options like where you want to go on the date and do you want to climb up in the muck hauler or ride in the over compensating mobile or do you want to get a work out in the something else? Considering the attention some women put on calorie intake I am not certain about discounting number three, if it were disguised perhaps as as pedal car.

foot_power_car

Candle Lit Dinner or Picnic in the Park or Do Ya Want Fries Wid Dat

Now that is unless he’s dead broke, it’s the anniversary of your first date ever and he’s recreating it, or you just don’t care and want to be with each other because that’s where the true romance is at. Taco Bell served me well in those early days. I think I know we can probably rule out number three as being Romantic. See even that guy agrees.

RonaldSlap

Dancing, No Dancing or Whatever

This one might be a little difficult because of various situations. For one, even if women can’t dance they can dance. But men when they dance, well. They think they dance like this . . .

dancing_spin

But in reality dance like this . . .

nerd_dance_giphy

Kiss Good Night, Hand Shake, Or Something Else

We have come to the end of the evening, I know . . . I know . . .  there are some steps missing like a stroll along aromantically lit street that seems to transport you back in time, or a classic movie being shown special on the big screen, or a concert that is difficult to ge t tickets for. Then of course perhaps coffee or something and the ride home.

Now we  come to the second most important moment of the second most important moment of the night. The kiss . . .  oh the most important? Well how to handle going to the potty, especially if it’s number 2. How romantic is that? But you asked.

There are people out there who still live with their parents. It doesn’t matter what age the dat eis, they live at home for some reason. A kiss? Okay, a soft, tender but intent kiss is a good start if you mean it. Or a lingering gentle hand shake, bu the there is the one that probably mean can relate to . . . The father inquisition . . .

baby-oil-slap

Men need to know what you expect. It would be nice if their were  a manual but so many of you are different. So I want to hear from you. I mean I reiterate that I PERSONALLY don’t need in the help in the romance department if you know what I mean but there are some out there that do. What are your answers? We NEED to KNOW!!!!

Cause all I got are . . .

free_shrugs

ron_bloglovin2

Much Respect

Romance Man

Ronovan

(Yeah, I could have given the guys the word but you know, I can’t be sharin’ my secrets. Anyone seen my Atari 2600 Joy Stick? It’s my turn to play Frogger. Freakin’ Alligator.)

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Female Feature Friday: 10 Quotes of Anaïs Nin

Writing a blog allows for you to stumble upon things you have never experienced or perhaps have forgotten you once knew. I ran across a quote a time ago that spoke to people and they commented on the author of the quote. Since then I have read some other quotes and this had lead me to list a few of my shorter favorites today.

10 Quotes of Anaïs Nin

anais_nin.jpg

1

“We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.”
― Anaïs Nin

My Thoughts: We interpret things based on our own experiences and thus preconceived ideas instead basing them on what they are as intended/

2

“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage.”
― Anaïs Nin

My Thoughts: If you aren’t brave enough to take steps then you stay where you are in your own little space of the world, especially in love, as I see life and love as greatly connected.

3

“I am only responsible for my own heart, you offered yours up for the smashing my darling. Only a fool would give out such a vital organ”
― Anaïs Nin

My Thoughts: A little cold for me. I am out for everyone’s heart but I see the meaning as a defense to protect one’s own heart, seemingly at all costs.

4

“From the backstabbing co-worker to the meddling sister-in-law, you are in charge of how you react to the people and events in your life. You can either give negativity power over your life or you can choose happiness instead. Take control and choose to focus on what is important in your life. Those who cannot live fully often become destroyers of life.”
― Anaïs Nin

My Thoughts: This goes along with a couple of articles I wrote about not letting others control you. You are ultimately responsible for those things that are within your decision/choice making area.

5

“Anxiety is love’s greatest killer. It makes others feel as you might when a drowning man holds on to you. You want to save him, but you know he will strangle you with his panic.”
― Anaïs Nin

My Thoughts: When one is having problems in a relationship then all are having a problem. Seeing it happening is like that panicked swimmer that you know is going to grab you and push you under without even realizing it, even though you are trying to save them.

6

“People living deeply have no fear of death.”
― Anaïs Nin

My Thoughts: Those who live happily are not afraid of what they have not yet done and would miss out upon.

7

“Do not seek the because – in love there is no because, no reason, no explanation, no solutions.”
― Anaïs Nin, Henry And June

My Thoughts: Perhaps a bit of disagreement in that this does not apply to all, but I can see that love is not always explainable. Sometimes you just have to let it be.

8

“There are two ways to reach me: by way of kisses or by way of the imagination. But there is a hierarchy: the kisses alone don’t work.”
― Anaïs Nin, Henry And June

My Thoughts: Oddly this is a belief of my own. Kisses with out the imagination behind them, for me intelligence, is not going to do it in regards to love.

9

“The secret of joy is the mastery of pain.”
― Anaïs Nin

My Thoughts: We all go through pain. Here I do not believe is a reference to actual physical pain but instead to teh pain of the heart in relation  to love. Yet, having mastery over both pains makes life more joyful.

10

“We are like sculptors, constantly carving out of others the image we long for, need, love or desire, often against reality, against their benefit, and always, in the end, a disappointment, because it does not fit them.”
― Anaïs Nin

My Thoughts: Some of us want love so badly that we grab onto the first reasonable solution to loneliness and then try to turn that person into what we have dreamed  of. It doesn’t work.?

Which quote is your favorite and why?

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AMIRA MAKANSI-Writing Interview Tuesday, August 19th. She knows the business.

THE SOWING - Book One of the SEEDS TRILOGY - Copy

AMIRA MAKANSI takes us from idea to published! And let me tell you this, she knows the business better than you can imagine.

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