Advice

10 Things Men Think Women Think They MUST Know About Men

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1o Things Men Think Women Know About Me

A list of things about what I believe is an easy thing to do. I was challenged by Florence T. to come up with a list of things we think women know about us. I of course never back down from a writing challenge. And yes, ladies, challenge me if you will.

I enjoyed this moment to delve into what I think men might think about this. Being a man it should be easy, but y’all may understand why there may be difficulties at times. These are not what I specifically thing about each subject, but I think people get tired of hearing my personal thoughts about things like this. But without any further rambling and to do, in  no particular order but number so I will not get lost I give you . . .

 

10 Things Men Think Women Think They MUST Know About Men

 

#1

What they MUST know:

We  ignore them EVERY time they talk unless the word SEX is mentioned.

man_ignoring_woman_bed_tv.jpg

Truth:

We don’t ignore. We are simply selective in what we acknowledge in having heard. Society has given us a way out. We are portrayed as buffoons on TV and in movies. We do not like this image but if we must suffer through it, then we will take advantage of it. And no, SEX is not the ONLY thing we acknowledge, Hamburgers, Nachos, Tacos, Pizza, and Steak also are worthy. And even for some none of these words will work.

#2

What they MUST know:

We  like women wearing tight fitting clothing or see through clothing.

too_tight_clothing.jpg

Truth:

There is a rare occasion that tight fitting clothing is something we prefer to see women in. I see women wearing things so tight that I wonder how blood circulates. Very few of them should have stepped out in this attire in the first place as the sizes are not only tight, but perhaps two sizes too small. As for the see through attire? We can see more going to a restaurant or walking through any Walmart. Style, grace, a nice fit, and something hinting at what is beneath are far more appealing.  Hinting by the nice fit and the moving of the body under the material.

#3

What they MUST know:

We  are Cuddling Machines.

man_asleep_after_sex.jpg

 

Truth:

We are not Cuddling Machines. Yes we do like to snuggle and cuddle at times, but this is referring to the after SEX moments. For me it is a fortunate thing if the blood pressure is not so great that my arteries do not scream at me. Muscles are trembling and every part of my body is aching from use. It has been the most enjoyable and most excruciating 5 minutes of my life. I cannot cuddle.

 

#4

What they MUST know:

We  want to be examples of perfect health.

 

cookie_monster_shirt.jpg

Truth:

We like salads. We like the grilled salmon over the fried oysters. Both of these statements are sometimes statements. As Cookie Monster says, “C is for Cookie and that’s good enough for me”. And to paraphrase what society has forced him to say, “Cauliflower is a sometimes food”. If you need more clarification please see the end of #1.

 

#5

What they MUST know:

We  want our foods perfectly organized on our plates . . . not touching.

buffet_plate.jpg

Truth:

This is some myth taught in  a class we males were not included in. If the food isn’t touching that means there is less of it. In fact we like most of our foods to touch as they taste better together. If we go to an all you can eat buffet our plates are layered like lasagna and you may find lasagna under the fried chicken and the fresh yeasty rolls, if the popcorn shrimp isn’t hiding it.

 

#6

What they MUST know:

We  don’t care about what softness of toilet tissue we end up with.

strutting_bird.jpg

Truth:

Just because you can’t see us cry in the bathroom, the one we have been exiled to while using the sandpaper that seems to only be in the exiled bathroom does not, mean we don’t care. Men do not walk the way we do because we have different equipment below the belt line. We are trying not to cause ourselves to cry in public. Now you know where John Travolta got the strut from in Saturday Night Fever.

 

#7

What they MUST know:

We  enjoy practical gifts for every gift occasion.

man_with _hobbes.jpg

 

Truth:

We want toys. I need not go into this one any further.

 

 

#8

What they MUST know:

We  always want monkey SEX.

gazing_into_each_others_eyes.jpg

Truth:

We are not that animalistic . . . all the time. There are those days when we have been thinking about you all day long . . . through the hours of sitting in traffic to get home . . . and we are animalistic, but sometimes we actually prefer the slow moments of the connecting gazes.

 

#9

What they MUST know:

We  ALL know how to fix cars.

bad_mechanic.jpg

Truth:

My father knew better than to let me near a car. He used me as the free tire rotating service growing up. That was my job every few months on a Saturday. I was ‘learning’ how to change a tire. No I was ‘being used’ for free labor. That is about as far as it goes. Yes I can put oil in, and various other fluids, and even change a battery if need be. I am sure if I really had to I could do much more, I am intelligent and can read and follow instructions. But it is not a born with gift.

 

#10

What they MUST know:

We are all the jealous types.

Homey Don't Play That

Truth:

This is a bit serious. There are some ladies that will intentionally draw attention in order to make their Significant One jealous. We know this. Here are the things to keep in mind when doing this. If you have friends that do this, let them know.

1) If you make the wrong Significant One jealous, violence will occur

2) If you want to play that game, some of us will let you play it alone

 

 

Bonus

What they MUST know:

We don’t know how to use the washing machine.

washing_machine_drum_grill.jpg

Truth:

You know guys go to college and do their own laundry and often times end up with a fiance. Then what happens? Marriage and suddenly the wife decides the husband does not know how to wash clothes. Now this is not one I believe there is a complaint about. But I am putting it on the list because it is one of those things women MUST think they know about men.

 

I know much of the above is perhaps just my own opinions and in truth you can even turn some of them around and change the genders, especially with #10. But I accepted the challenge and I put some thought into it. I like to be funny with these lists but I also like there to be truth in each number I give so we can all share and learn. And perhaps even learn we are wrong, both you and me.

Ladies, are there things you think you know and want to know the real deal? Message me here, or if you want go to my About page and use that form, or email me at ronovanwrites@gmail.com, or even DM me on twitter @RonovanWrites. I really do mean it.

 

For next week each day I think will take Florence T up on the second challenge she offered up.

“Or what could be a ‘perfect’ balance between two persons in a relationship..not talking about equality here… ‘balance’! Did I just take the humor out of your post? Oops! :)”-Florence T

 

Much Respect

Ronovan

 

2014 © Copyright-All rights reserved-RonovanWrites.wordpress.com

10 Things Women Need To Know About Men

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I see lists about ‘How to Know Your Man’ and ‘How to Make Your Man Happy in Bed or Anywhere Else’ and I wonder sometimes if even the ones by men are really nom de ploomers for 12 year old girls working for tickets to Judson Beader concerts.

 

Why do I say that?

 

I am so glad you asked. Let me tell you . . .

 

Things Women Need To Know About Men

 

Just remember that these are all based on my own opinions and what I have observed. Which are observations and which are my own personal opinions you will most likely know if you have read my site much. Enjoy and please, don’t kill the writer.

 #10

Men Sulk and Pout

man_face_down_on_couch.jpg

Ladies, I know it is difficult to believe that we men who scream at TVs during sporting events do this but yes . . .  we internalize things. We prefer you think we are insane or mentally deranged rather than discuss it. Pizza . . . Tacos . . . Game Systems . . . Shooting things filled with glow in the dark stuff at night? Sure, but talking–no. We’re not mad at you. We’re not ignoring you. Just let us sulk and we get over it faster. The longer we are talked to and asked about it the longer it takes to get over. Let us pout. Do you really want to hear about the long awful day we had at work? Do you really?

 

 

 #9

Don’t ask Don’t Tell

spaghetti_junction_atlanta.jpg

Ladies, you know those times when you ask us ‘what do you think?’ I’ll be point blank honest here. Perhaps I am honest because I don’t have the degrees for Creative Writing and all of that to tell the truth in a more creative way, just a degree History Education and writing tons of research papers. Or maybe it’s the concussion thing. My one year anniversary is coming up by the way. My imaginary self and I will be eating at an all you can eat Taco and Chinese buffet in No Calorieville. I hope you will join us. But here it is…ready?

If you already know what the answer that  you want is, don’t ask us. We don’t know what to do. Do we be honest, or give you the answer you want? You say be honest . . . but is that ALWAYS true?

Examples:

“Is this shirt too tight?”

 

Okay, the male brain has now seized up as traffic has swarmed in the form of Spaghetti Junction in Atlanta, GA at 5 PM on a Friday before a three day holiday weekend.

 

  • Yes, it’s too tight because it shows off your breasts too much to other people.
  • I love that she has incredible breasts and I am proud she’s mine, eat your heart out boys.
  • She’s asking if she’s gained weight. Oh no, what do I do?
  • She’s asking if she’s gained weight. Do I tell her no because if I say yes then she will think I think she’s put on weight?
  • Man she looks good. How long will it take to get that thing of. (I hope she isn’t wearing a bra, I have no idea how those hooks work.)

 

You may not realize the male mind does this on its own without the participation of the male itself and all in the span of 1.01 seconds. Then the male enters into the picture and uses knowledge and common sense. You read that right. And you wonder why we get in to so much trouble with this one.

 

“Baby, those twins look outrageous. Mmm Mmm Mmm! You fine, girl.”-Either the young guy with no clue or the older over the hill midlife crisis male who is reliving his unsuccessful young guy days.

 

“I like it, but honestly honey, I love your body, and I love the fact men know how great your body is. Men are going to be staring at you enough as it is because of those kill me eyes and that beautiful smile.”-Mature, experienced male with common sense in use. Men, only use this one if you are sincere. Seriously. Customize to fit what you find amazing about the beauty of your woman.

 

“I don’t know, whatever.”-Moron alert and future divorce case.

 

 

 

 #8

No opinion

man_shrugging.jpg

Sometimes we really don’t have an opinion about something, especially if it has nothing to do with us or we just don’t know anything about it. Also there are times we are just that laid back and are like go with the flow. No, we are not always that indecisive . . . we just don’t have an opinion or we just like your opinion. Imagine that, huh? Did I say that out loud? No. Whew, awesome. There is another reason, we’re lazy and just don’t want to think. I’m serious. Even me, the one that is always thinking, I get to that point where I can answer what I want on my sandwich; ham or turkey.

 

 

 

 #7

Sure, Okay & Fine

 

This was is so whatever that I couldn’t even come up with an image for it Guess what? You’ve heard us say those words and you don’t believe us. Well guess what again? Some of us actually mean it. Shocking I know. But rather than speak in sentences with all those parts of speech, we use the efficient one word answer to get back to what we were doing and/or avoid saying something to either a) make you mad or b) causing a lengthier discussion that will eventually lead into our getting into some sort of trouble which would lead to . . .

 

 

 #6

Gifts are NOT for buying Forgiveness

man_giving_roses_and_candy.jpg

We give you flowers, candy, a gift card to Home Depot for supplies for your favorite little homemade fish pond and you think we are trying to buy you off instead of saying we’re sorry. That is our saying we’re sorry. We’re not buying you off, we’re talking. We’ve been trained not to say we’re sorry or show emotions. Emotions are a weakness. Instead we do something else, like buy you something nice to say we’re sorry for spending so much on the credit card bill.

 

 #5

Sometimes we really are staring off into space and not at the server.

woman_pulling_mans_tie.jpg

When we’re out to dinner, we’re not always checking out the server in the required form fitting, skin tight black pants. (I wonder about that at times. Isn’t that like really a bad thing to have as a requirement?) We’re actually sometimes either a) tired and staring off into space not even knowing where we are looking or b) bored at the third time in the last hour you’ve talked about the same thing at work that’s ticked you off. My apologies for that second one, I know we do the same thing, but ladies, you are so much more intelligent than we are, perhaps leading by example would make the old dogs learn new tricks.

Sure we listen, we care, but after 2 or 3 times . . . we get it, you get it, the server in the skin tight black pants gets it. If we reacted indignant at what happened and acted like we were going to do something, you would then tease us or call us an idiot and say that it is only a little thing and you don’t want to cause any problems because it’s a great job. Huh?

 

 #4

We Like Chick flicks.

man_crying.jpg

You read that right. Just don’t ask us about it. Don’t give us a choice. Just say you want to go to that movie Saturday night. We need the excuse. I mean really, at the end of Armageddon when Bruce Willis is saying goodbye to his daughter, didn’t you notice the man in your life tearing up?

 

 

 #3

We Like to Smell Pretty

man_in bubble_bath_happy.jpg

When you go to the store and shop, because you know if you don’t everyone you love will die from hunger because they may have some mental block about like grocery shopping, buy us the nice smelling soaps.  We like to smell good and you like us to smell good. Don’t give us the chance to be macho and go for the unscented, floats in water soap. We’re old enough to be more concerned about smelling nice rather than sinking battleships.

 

 

#2

We Don’t Think About Megan Fox During Sex

ear_plugs.jpg

In the middle of sex, do you want to know what we’re thinking? It all depends on the situation. We are focused on how it feels and either a) praying we don’t end the session early or b) hoping we can keep going with that pain in the back before it ruins the moment.

But I am sure some men do think about things. Like earplugs for those who don’t like the overzealous screamer. There are screamers and then there are fire alarms. Screamers are fine, just saying but a lot of focus goes into those fire alarm moments. I mean really, I appreciate appreciation but well sometimes . . . you know?

So, no, no Megan Fox or anyone else for most of us. We’re just enjoying the feel of things.

 

 

#1

The Final Thing, and the one you’ve been waiting for . . .How to Make Us Happy In Bed.

man_and_woman_cuddling.jpg

How to make us happy in bed? It’s a simple thing really or is it? The idea most things you read about is show up, get naked and the man is happy. Maybe that works for some, but ladies let me clue you in on something. We like the heart behind the happening. A woman could be the worst technical lover to ever exist but can satisfy a man she loves and loves her back because he feels her intent and heart behind it. So it’s not just about showing up and trying to be sexy.

Yeah, I know, if that were true with all men then prostitution wouldn’t be a business. Porn would not be a business. But give me heart and you get me . . . never mind that . . . umm.

 

~~~~~~~~

Now I know that a lot of the above has to do with communication and that some ladies love to communicate and men just don’t and that is a huge problem. I am not condoning or excusing the above, I am just telling you the truth of what is reality. Sure some of us try to do better but failures occur. I like to understand things. Tell me things so I don’t interpret something wrong. I want to learn from whatever is happening. But once I know and you know I know . . . as I said above, don’t blame me for staring at the wall.

Anyway, that’s it for today, my Feature for Female Focus Friday here at RonovanWrites. I love Fridays. For all my Friends that might read this, please tell me what things you think?

And ladies if there are things you would like to know my opinion on . . . let me know. I would love to share . . .  I really would. That would be awesome, and maybe some of your questions will be answered next Friday in a Female Focus Friday Feature.

 

Until next time,

Much Respect and Admiration

Ronovan

 

 

2014 © Copyright-All rights reserved-RonovanWrites.wordpress.com

Her title:My Valentine’s Day plans… My title: Men Find Out a Secret

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Saw this earlier in the week and made note to share it with everyone on Female Focus Friday here on RonovanWrites. The lady has a hilarious style and some real advice men should take. Honestly guys, if your love life is suffering read this and maybe it will give you some ideas.

Female Focus Friday: Things Men Need to Know About . . . The When and Why to Shut Up . . . During a Vent

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Guys, take it from me, the man who knows . . . Women want us to Shut Up.

 

Not a major revelation, since I imagine most of us have heard those words, or close to them . . . a few times. But I’m not talking about those times when you . . .

  • Are about to announce the name you’ve picked out for your child that you promised not to mention to anyone.  (This usually is also  accompanied by a bruised shin that occurs from underneath the restaurant table.)
  • Or when you start telling that joke in front of her parents you just know is wrong. (Yes, never tell the mother-in-law the joke about the Secret Service discovering who peed the words The President Sucks in the snow outside the White House. Yes, being OJ Simpson at the time was funny, and yes it being in the First Ladies handwriting was also funny. But still . . .)
  • Or when you are about to tell your mother the truth about what your wife thinks of one of your mother’s specialty meals. (See results of the first type of shut up moment.)

No, I’m talking about the truly important times to shut up. Bruises will heal. Some scarring may occur, depending on the shoes worn or the length of the nails as they dig into your hand if a kick is not available. There are things worse, much . . .  much worse.

 

So let me give you . . .

 

Things Men Need to Know About . . . The When and Why to Shut Up . . . During a Vent

lemmon_mcclain

First you need to know that whatever the stage of the relationship, they have to let things out sometimes. If you read all those magazines and watch all those talk shows like Oprah you will know pretty quick that “They are like  Stars” and “We are like a . . .” well it rhymes with Venus. At least that’s how it seems when it comes to handling those talk times. We are insensitive. At least that’s how we’re portrayed. We’re not insensitive. We’re just not trained right.

FGdogsleep WAKE UP! This is important. Pay attention.

You know the talk times I am talking about. She’s had a bad day, and she needs to talk, and you half mindedly listen and give your advice on how to handle the situation. Before long you realize that either 1) you are alone in the room, b) you are being glared at, or the most likely 3rd) you don’t notice a thing and keep talking as you watch the game assuming you have done something amazingly helpful.

 

Men if you are reading this and you identify with the first two or believe she was happily listening as you spouted wisdom between screams at the coach on TV for his bad play calling and crunches of nachos while still advice spouting then I advise you to keep reading.

 

The scenario:

You walk into the room and your Significant One does NOT look happy. She doesn’t give you the ‘what the frilly hoohaa have you done this time’ look, so you start breathing again. Now you do the only correct thing of the next several minutes to two hours that you will do. You ask, “What’s wrong honey?”

 

She will do of two things:

  • She will say nothing is wrong, and you will either stupidly accept that, or you will rightly be sensitive and ask her what is really wrong, knowing you will probably regret it, but you love her and must continue.
  • Or she will immediately begin telling you what is wrong without any further prompting.

 

 

Now we enter the ‘Shut Up Zone’. Men, I know it’s difficult, but in time you learn. At times you will forget, but for the majority of the time you will make your life easier. Follow these basic rules of ‘Listening to your Significant One Vent’.

 

The Reasons you need to Shut Up are . . .

 

#1

. . . so you can listen. Listening accomplishes a lot of things.

  1. You need to know what is actually going on for the test later. (The test will be unannounced and at any moment within the next 2 days to 55 years.)
  2. Another reason is to know when she is actually speaking specifically to you. If she pauses and stares at you, you best be ready with, an “of course, you’re right”.

 

#2

. . . so you can remember not to give advice. Men, the Significant One does not want your advice. If they wanted advice they would call their mother or their best friend, neither of which you are. Oh, you think you are her best friend?

Men, we like to think that. We may even believe that. But the truth is, once you become the Significant One’s other  there is a change in the dynamic. There are things that can no longer be said or shared for fear of hurting our masculine pride. Don’t believe me? Okay, your significant other is thinking of Johnny Depp while kissing you. And that ‘mmm’ sound, was not meant for you. How do you feel now? Point made.

 

#3

. . . so you can remember not to try and solve the problem. Men, they don’t need us to solve their problems. In fact if you listen well enough, you may realize there is no problem. We are the ones that created the mythical problem by asking what the problem was. In reality there probably wasn’t a ‘problem’. They just need to vent. If you do not ‘Shut Up’ you will then create a . . .

Wait for it.

 

. . .  BIGGER problem . . . YOU. As for solving a problem, if they want us to help they will ask us to help. (A secret, they usually don’t need any ‘help’. Yeah, like I said, just shut up.)

 

#4

. . . so you can tell when the vent is over. Men, you’ve listened well, but have you paid attention. The vent is over and you are sitting there staring at her. This will lead to a couple of dangerous possibilities;

  1. It is assumed you were not paying attention and zoned out,
  2.  Or your opinion may be asked, although only on a rare occasion.

Do not, I repeat, do NOT give an opinion. Agree and say that you totally agree. I REPEAT, DO NOT GIVE AN OPINION!

“But DUDE, she ASKED FOR MY OPINION!”

“DUDE, SHE IS ASKING YOU TO AGREE!!!”

 

#5

. . . so you cannot ask questions. Men, shut up and just listen. Don’t ask a question because you will do one of two things;

  1. Make her mad that you interrupted
  2. Or you will send her off onto another vent before she comes back to the main vent

I repeat . . . Shut Up.

How will you know the vent is over? I will make this simple for the moment, although this could be an entire article of its own.

  1. Know the Significant One’s body language
  2. Listen to the voice for a change in pitch
  3. Finally notice the vein is no longer protruding wherever it protrudes and the shoulders are no longer up around the ears from tension and the hands have stopped waving

You may ask, “Ronovan, how do you come by these freshwater pearls of wisdom. ”

Oh young grasshopper mint cookie. Though the waters may appear calm, even this tiny grain of sand in the great ocean of the male population irritates. You either become a pearl, or you are spit out.

 

As for the Significant Ones reading this today, I ask, are there other reasons to add to the “Shut Up” list? Please advise. We really need to know.

 

The ever Needy and

Much Respectful

Ronovan

 

2014 © Copyright-All rights reserved-RonovanWrites.wordpress.com

Thursday Thought: Encourage Intelligent Decisions as a Habit

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“When you see a young friend make intelligent decisions acknowledge it, and praise it. By doing so you are encouraging the continuation of a habit. Do this in every relationship of your life.”-Ronovan

gettyimages© Original Photo by laflor/Vetta
gettyimages© Original Photo by laflor/Vetta

Five things men fear on first dates.

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You’re on a date and you are stressed beyond belief. It’s like that first time and you just have no idea what’s going to happen. You just keep praying that you don’t do anything . . . stupid.

Stupid around my house is a bad word. We say silly instead. But really one word is as bad as another if you know what it is supposed to really stand for. No freakin’ way will I say that crap word again.

Anyway, for a guy what can you do that’s so bad on a first date, or really any date for that matter, but that first date is the one you have to impress. The rest of your time with her she realizes you’re a guy and you do guy things, so you get a pass card. And no I don’t mean that kind of pass . . . or that one either. Eww.

What do we fear?

Five Things Men Fear on First Dates

by: Ronovan

Pit Sweats

Man with sweat under arms
Guys, be honest, they are;

The dreaded stains,

That cause you chest pains.

You have options here men.
• Date only in winter and never wear a coat, jacket, or sweater
• Duct tape bath clothes to your pits
• Or be sensible and wear a t-shirt

But the truth is, none of those ideas occur to us until it’s the end of July and we’re standing outside her door and that trickle starts down the back of the neck. You just know what’s going to be next. Back sweats? Okay you can get away with that, she’ll understand. But then you drive and move your arm and the air hits and . . . you know it has happened.

That freezing cold feeling hits that damp pit cloth of the shirt and you begin to sweat more and wonder if she would question stopping at a local Quik Trip convenience store while you air dry your pits with the hand dryer in the restroom. Then you begin to worry she thinks you have other problems.

 

 

Bad Breath

Man with Bad breath and woman with Gas mask on
You leave the house and you are like, “It’s all good.” Then you start singing to the radio. Something begins to smell.

You’re at her driveway. She’s sitting on the porch swing and sees you. You have no way out. You pull in and scrounge for anything.

And then you find it, that melted plastic wrapped piece of peppermint candy that is now pink from where the food coloring has fun together from who knows how many years of living in the cup holder under that Taco Bell napkin.

The plastic will not release. She’s stopped swinging and now is staring. Yes, you do it. In goes the candy, plastic and all and you . . . chew. You have to get out of the car because she’s coming. She’s worried about you. Oh no, you can’t get rid of the plastic or she’ll see and then your hands are covered in sticky 3,000 year old candy sugar.

Yep, you swallow the plastic.

 

 

Bats in the Cave

Bat Cave street sign
It happens to everyone, even her. But men, you know it’s going to happen on that date.

You can even feel it happening. The tickle starts. You breathe and hear that slight noise and feel it moving.

You start breathing through your mouth slightly. But then she’ll think you’re a mouth breather. You try for the distraction and the big sniff to move that thing up. Or maybe you find a way to rub your nose in the hopes of it settling into place.

Then one of two things happens. You’re in the moment, the kiss could happen. She has those melt you in your shoes eyes looking up at you and her eyes go from yours to your lips then . . . you got it. Her eyes moves slightly upward as the bat begins to say hello.

Is that the worst thing? Nope. Same situation and then Bat Cave Bomb Away, you got it, the boogie done left the building and it only has one place to go.

 

 

Nose Hair

 Man with long nose hair smiling
Related to the Bat Cave situation are the Nasal Follicles.

I know the Good Lord designed them to help us out, after all if not for them all those Bats in the Cave matter would be in our lungs, but for goodness sake, trim the vines before the date.

Men if you are headed to the date and you are in your car, look in the mirror. No, you don’t have the nose hair trimmers with you. Yes ladies, we do have those. Mine are burgundy. Now guys if you look in the mirror and see Tarzan swinging it’s desperate measure time.

Yes, you have to pull them out. I heard the ouch. I feel your pain. Seriously, I’ve been there. Just go for it and yank Tarzan and Cheetah both out and hope the tears are gone before you get to Jane.

 

 

B.O. Bomb

A smiling man holds out a yellow flower to a woman wearing a gas mask. Could represent allergies,asthma, pollution or even body odor!
Well men we finally come to the most dreaded one of all. All the others we can try to avoid and take care of. But when it comes to the body odor, well, what can I say? It stinks.

Some men keep deodorant in their car. Nice. Some even keep cologne. Not going to work. If you are like most men, you’re in trouble.

There are four options available at this point if you are in her driveway:
1. Grab the jacket in the back seat and wear it all night, even in late July at the ball game. Yeah, Pit Sweats combined with the B.O Bomb. Nice. Then you begin breathing heavy and the plastic peppermint quits working and you feel that piece of plastic still stuck in your teeth.
2. The car deodorizer might work. Chemical hazard? Yes. Worth a kiss on the first date? Yep.
3. Asking to borrow her bathroom and using her deodorant. It’s one way to be sure but you better keep it a secret.
4. Keep as far apart from her as you think is the safe smell limit. One problem with this is . . . no second date. You can either get close and get the rep as Señor Stinko with all of her friends who you also know, or become known as General Germaphobia. Take your pick.

 

Well, there you have them, and that’s just 5 of our fears. You didn’t know we had them, did you ladies? You thought our only worries were how expensive you were going to order and if we were going to get to first base or farther. Oh, and some of you men didn’t know you had to worry about all of that? Welcome to reality.

If you really want something that will freak you out, and this really happened, check out “When toots let loose. . . “ or what I call “A College Girls Gas Confession” at my fellow blogger’s site A College Girl’s Confessions. I swear, I’m not making this up.

 

Men AND women, do you care to share some of your MOMENTS on dates? Come on, you know you want to. Put a comment in.

Much Respect
Apparently Hygiene Deficient Ronovan

 

1st Image Credit: gettyimages© Original Photo by Laurence Monneret/The Image Bank

2nd Image Credit: gettyimages© Original Photo by Don Bayley/E+

4th Image Credit: gettyimages© Original Photo by sturti-E+ Man

5th Image Credit: gettyimages© Original Photo by Don Bayley/Vetta Man

© Copyright-All rights reserved-RonovanWrites.wordpress.com.

Thursday Thought-Smile

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Smile through all your troubles and your trials and they will stare back at you in confusion.-Ronovan

Image

Reblogging: The How and Why

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If I Reblog someone then THEIR blog article will be looked at instead of mine.

I guess some look at blogging as a competitive thing. Personally, I blog to write and enjoy the company.

First, if you are new to blogging or looking in to blogging as something you want to do, you may want to know what Reblogging is.

Reblogging is when you read the post someone has written and you enjoy it to the point you want to share it with your own readers. If there is a button on the screen that says Reblog then you can click that button and normally type a message in a field that pops up. Then you click enter or send and part or all of the post will appear on your blog with your message at the top to introduce the post to your readers. Some Bloggers even Reblog their own Posts.

Why are the reasons you would ReBlog a Post?

  • You really like an article.
  • An article inspires you.
  • The article is informative for your friends.
  • A friend is on vacation and you want their blog and name to continue to be seen in the community.
  • You want to help a new blogger by sharing their wonderful work with my friends.

Always do an honest Reblog. If you don’t like it, don’t do it.

Now for how to Reblog properly.

What, I don’t just click Reblog?

You can, but if you really want to do it right you need to take another step.

This is what I do when I see a blog article and realize I am going to Reblog.

Step 1

I go ahead and pull up my Posts page in the Dashboard.

Step 2

I click Reblog on the other person’s post and type in something appropriate as to why I am Reblogging the article.

Step 3

After I have Reblogged, I refresh my Post Page in the Dashboard section and there is the Reblogged Post.

Step 4

I copy and paste the Tags from the original bloggers page into the Tags on the Reblogged post, click Add, and then click Update.

Why do I do this?

Sure, by Reblogging some of my Friends that are not the other persons Friends will see it but with the Tags included the article will be in the WordPress Reader for people a second time and maybe draw attention.

In all honesty, in the marketing world, sometimes it takes a person seeing something 19 times before they will take true notice of it or do something about it. No, I’m not going to Reblog a post 19 times. But if you see an article you like Reblog it. Maybe other people will do the same and that’s a few more times it gets passed around and those search engines can find them.

This doesn’t take but a minute of your time, and if you truly enjoy something, then do it. You do two things with your blog;1) You have fun with it, and 2) You provide your Friends with the best and most relevant thing for them you can. Sometimes that best is something from someone else.

That’s all for this Blog Tip.

For  a related article  click here to go to Blog Tip: Links to Blogs and Articles-How To and Why. You will leave this page by clicking the link that is embedded in the word here in the previous sentence.

Much Respect to my Friends and to those passing by.

@RonovanWrites

 

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© Copyright-All rights reserved-RonovanWrites©.wordpress.com-June 25, 2014.

Bursting Balloons

Ronovan Writing 101-Blogging University , , , , ,

Bursting Balloons

by: Ronovan

Popping Balloon

Giving advice is kind of like playing Russian roulette. You load up and put that bullet out there and there is always that chance someone is going to pull the trigger and the bullet is going to come back at you.

 

Today I reblogged a piece from my friend at InsideTheLifeOfMoi regarding letting go of those things inside that hurt you. She used a piece of advice she had received about putting your hurts in a balloon and the letting it go. The POINT of the article was to Let Go of your hurts and pains caused by others.

 

Someone responded about how dangerous releasing balloons is to wildlife. You see, my purpose for reblogging the article was to help my friend Amanda out who has been on vacation for two weeks. I wanted to keep her articles circulating here and on Twitter where I would Tweet her articles along with her handle.

Continue reading →

Balloons – The Art Of Letting Go

Ronovan Life, Reblogs , , , , , , , , , ,

I’ve been Reblogging some of Amanda’s best articles while she’s been on vacation. Best to me from her means funny. One thing about funny people is that they are funny because they are really also sensitive and deep people. I TRY to be funny, but fall flat most of the time.
This is an article that shows Amanda is more than a punch line or laugh track. This great advice. I’m serious. You really do need to read this one.

Very Inspiring Blogger Award-From Tesscarr

Ronovan Awards , , , , , , ,

I put this out over the weekend but I wanted everyone to see the people I chose for nominations. To those selected you can make your own badge to give to the next people and if this one does not fit with your blog then let me know. 🙂 This was just how you all make me feel.

ronovanwrites

VIBA

It continues to amaze me that anyone would find me inspiring, especially enough to nominate me for a Very Inspiring Blogger Award. But for some reasonTess of ITYPEMORETHANITALKdecided to honor me. The truth is she’s the one that is inspiring; law student and blogger? Wow! So, what if she thinks she may want to go more literary . . . don’t we all at some point? Follow her and read and maybe you’ll find out she might be wanting to go in the right direction.

I wonder if she’s thought about working in publishing or an agency.

Here are the rules for the award:

1.Thank and link to the amazing person who nominated you.
2.List the rules and display the award.
3.Share seven facts about yourself.
4.Nominate 15 other amazing blogs and comment on their posts to let them know they have been nominated.
5.Proudly display the award…

View original post 1,135 more words

Pesky Passengers!

Ronovan Humor, Reblogs , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Amanda at Inside The Life of Moi rants better than anyone I know. Why? Because there is truth in her humorous rants. I ran across this one just now and I am still cringing and laughing from the awful truth of it.
@AmandaLyle86

Very Inspiring Blogger Award-From Tesscarr

Ronovan Awards , , , , , , ,

 

VIBA

 

 

It continues to amaze me that anyone would find me inspiring, especially enough to nominate me for a Very Inspiring Blogger Award. But for some reason Tess of ITYPEMORETHANITALK decided to honor me. The truth is she’s the one that is inspiring; law student and blogger? Wow! So, what if she thinks she may want to go more literary . . . don’t we all at some point? Follow her and read and maybe you’ll find out she might be wanting to go in the right direction.

 

I wonder if she’s thought about working in publishing or an agency.

Here are the rules for the award:

1.Thank and link to the amazing person who nominated you.
2.List the rules and display the award.
3.Share seven facts about yourself.
4.Nominate 15 other amazing blogs and comment on their posts to let them know they have been nominated.
5.Proudly display the award logo on your blog and follow the blogger who nominated you.

 

My Seven Facts to Share: (I didn’t even try to be interesting.)

1)      I recently spent 10 months believing I was a year older than I am. No, I’m not that off in the head, it was just the concussion’s fault. You can talk to it later.

2)      I write my poetry with my eyes closed so I can’t interrupt what is going on. Get out of the way of the heart and the brain . . . just type.

3)      My writing career came about from wanting to be a comic book artist. I listened to my parents and instead of taking Art in college I became a History teacher, although I love that as well.

4)      I am into Apologetics or what is also known as Defending Your Faith. This is basically believing the Bible is what the Bible is. I have listened and read various evidence for and against. I don’t listen to the whacked out Bible debaters who really just compromise and I don’t listen to the whacked out extremists the other way. I listen to those with well thought out reasons and respect them for their thoughts even if I don’t agree. (Pardon the used of the phrase  “whacked out”.)

5)      I am a Foodie in that I love the experience of food, not just the eating of it.

6)      I recently lost 70 pounds in 6 months. (Apparently I haven’t been experiencing food very often.)

7)      I like to make homemade pizzas with veggies on them, but veggies like zucchini. (With these final two facts I must be hungry at the time of the writing of this.)

 

My 15 Nominees are: (In no particular order)

Zareen of Orange Shoes Talking

A great writer in many ways but the honesty and heart of one of her articles is what really finally made me be a true fan. Follow her here on Twitter.

 

Cataline of Obscured Dreamer

Yes, she’s a great writer but again, with me, heart is what really inspires me to be a devoted follower. This lady has it. Follower her here on Twitter.

 

Cielo of Ways of Life

She has a way of putting humor with relevancy in her writing. She hooks me in and then punches me at the end and I have to laugh. This young lady has been a recent and wonderful find. She pushes me to examine my own writing and want to have more fun with it. This particular article just had me and like I said at the end I died. Follow her here on Twitter.

 

Dyanne of Her Other Lovely Sides

Dyanne is not new to blogging, she’s been around. I not only enjoy her presence here in our WordPress community but also her support on Twitter. There is something uplifting about her favoriting or ReTweeting something I put out. She inspires in many ways but those moments can just keep you going at times. Follow her here on Twitter.

 

Cyril at Cyril Bussiere

Great writing and a very supportive Follower. I know authors sometimes don’t like to necessarily receive Blogging Awards but I give them anyway as a sign of appreciation. He has a book available on kindle. Follow him here on Twitter.

 

Name? at Behold the Infinite

Would I like to know her name? Yep. But her writing tells me enough. Strong in her thoughts and what she believes in. Do you really need to know anything other than that? That’s really the meaning of a name, right? One of the most generous Followers in providing comments to my articles and honest ones. There has been a good relationship built on creativity and honesty. A recent article actually played off well on one of mine without even there being a plan. I greatly enjoyed it. Twitter? Alas, no. I wish. Then again maybe she does and just refuses to share it with ME!

 

 

Jenn of jennspoint

What to say about Jenn? I’ll let her tag line say it for me. “Life is a series of transitions. It’s not about where you are right no. It’s about which direction you’re going. Smile, and drink a frappuccino.” This lady has such a background. And she is such a great follower on Twitter. She is a bright spot in my day. Follow her here on Twitter.

 

Vashti of Vashti Quiroz-Vega

Vashti writes about her progress of writing her books but also shares heart in some of her other offerings. I always enjoy the looks into the woman behind the books. Again, author with a book available here, but I am showing my appreciation any way. Of course you must follow her here on Twitter.

 

 

Amber of Amber’s Deep Thoughts

Amber is a poet. She always has lovely things to write about and even works with friends to set her work to music or maybe the other way around. I love the photos she uses because they are always very well chosen and very light feeling. Twitter? She probably keeps that secret. Bummer.

 

Name? I’ll just call her Radiating of Radiating Blossom

Radiating does just that, she radiates beauty with her photography and words and always seems to have something show up just at the right time for me to maybe pull myself up before I slip all the way into that Lost Mind of mine.

 

Douglas of MOOREZART

Talented doesn’t begin to describe this man. His art is amazing. This particular piece hit me like an anvil and creative scenes for stories began popping into my mind. Follow him here on Twitter.

 

Cristian of Cristian Mihai

The only thing to say about Cristian is that he creates and keeps creating. I’m jealous of one his age so far ahead of me. Yes, he has books. And yes you need to follow him here on Twitter.

 

Meike ‘Hubi’ of Hubilicious

She’s German, educated at a French University and lives in California. Do I have to really say more? Yes, follow her here on Twitter.

Megan of Megan Elizabeth Morales

Megan is inspiring for her work, her life, her heart, and just for being a beautiful person in every way. I’ll leave it there and you find out the rest. She has two books on the way with one out this Fall I believe or August? Please ‘like’ her facebook author page to show support. You know we all need that presence for agents and publishers. I liked it as me and with my own author page.

 

Oscar at Hokeah Oscar

A man that lives what he writes, writes what he lives, and does it all with his heart for his people.  And of course he’s published.

 

Much Appreciation for the Award

Much Respect for my Nominees

Ronovan

 

10 Things Every Writer Needs But Never Thinks About

Ronovan Humor, Writing , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

10 Things Every Writer Needs But Never Thinks About

by: Ronovan

There are things that every writer needs that they never think about and no one will ever advise them on. Well today I will share with you those secret things that only the most experienced and dedicated writers know about and like to keep to themselves. But don’t tell anyone or my life will be endangered. And with that I give to you the first secret need:

A Fluffy Butt CushionBean Bag Chair Huge
All serious writers must use one of these. Have you ever noticed that groove that forms on your middle finger from writing for so many years, I call it my writer’s mark? That comes from the wearing away of tissue from all that writing. Well imagine what all that writing is doing to your butt. For some of us that might be a good thing, but for others . . . well I can tell you there are some that need to hang onto what the good Lord gave them or they’ll fall right through the potty seat.

 

Clock With Multiple Alarm Settings
Those writers who make words their lives forget about everything else. Now enters the need to schedule everything and set an alarm to it.
• Potty breaks
• Lunch
• Taking a drink of water
• Bathing—If not, then skip the next three
• Sex
• Wedding day—if you actually remember to go on a date
• Dates—Otherwise don’t worry about the previous three
If you are a serious writer then you will also need a portable alarm set for appropriate lengths of time after the Potty Break and Date breaks, and possibly the Wedding Day . . . Honeymoons do not require alarms, as long as they are not over 48 hours long.

NairHairy Back Man
This is for men and women writers. Shaving of anything takes too much time. Nair the hair or go super earthy. Unless you are Alan Moore you will not get away with the Sasquatch look.

 

 

See-Through Shower Door

With your imagination you will never come out of the shower for fear of what is on the other side of the curtain.

 Psycho Shower

Shamwows
You’re a writer, you know why you need this and where you need this, and I’m not talking about geographical location. Men admit it you have Butt Sweats, get the Shamwow. Women . . . I read about . . . Chest(?) Sweats today. (Sorry I just could not type the other word.) (Why is it warm in here now? Should I include a fan on this list?)

Canaries
These are just in case either; a) the alarm clock does not work, or b) you ignore the alarm clock when it alerts you to shower time. If the Canary dies, it’s time for a shower. Miners used these things for a reason.

Dog
As a writer you’ll need someone who will love you no matter what. Cats are too smart and independent to love you just because you offer them a three day old piece of left out pizza. Plus if you smell like roadkill they will NOT come near you. A dog will still think you are the greatest thing ever since . . . that piece of pizza. Then of course they will intentionally lick your face lovingly after licking their butt. Dogs are sneaky little guys.

Dead Potted PlantPlastic Flowers

Why? You need an alarm to tell

you to go Potty and have Sex

and you are asking why

Plastic Flowers?

 

A Clue
See Previous Need.

Ideas
If you are making lists of crazy things such a Canaries and Butt Sweat towels then you really need more ideas to write about.

 

Thus ends THIS list of the 10 Things Every Writer Needs But Never Thinks About. Keep them secret and take them to heart.

Much Respect

Ronovan “Fluffy Cushion” Writes

(I don’t need the cushion. Just saying.)

© Copyright-All rights reserved-RonovanWrites.wordpress.com-June 18, 2014.

Psychoanaly-TEXT: The Psychology Behind Texting

Ronovan Humor, Life, Reblogs , , , , , , , , , , , ,

I had no idea this is how texting worked. It makes you wonder how Amanda knows all of this, doesn’t it? 🙂 I can only imagine poor girl. Muahahahahahaa. She’s going to kill me when she gets back. Follower her on Twitter and surprise her with lots of new people.@AmandaLyle86

The Curious Case Of The Man Flu

Ronovan Humor, Life, Reblogs , , , , , , , , , , ,

Yes, I greatly dislike it when she’s right. I almost didn’t share this one with everyone, but grrr…..why am I so honest sometimes? And she makes me LAUGH!!!!! Men don’t take away my man card for sharing this one.  Remember to follow her on Twitter as well

@AmandaLyle86

Writer’s Digest: How to Be a Writer That Literary Agents Want

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Writer’s Digest is a great source for all things writing. They even have one area that shows you New Literary Agents open for submissions.

This article is something you may want to take a look at.

 

How to Be a Writer That Literary Agents Want

 

The Good Wife: Expectation Vs Reality

Ronovan Humor, Life, Reblogs , , , , , , , , , , ,

Another hilarious but true take on life by Amanda at Inside the Life of Moi. Thank goodness women blog or men would be bored to tears. Follow her on Twitter as well @AmandaLyle86.

Are You Half Empty Or Half Full?

Ronovan Life, Odds and Ends , , , , , , , , ,

Are You Half Empty Or Half Full?

by: Ronovan

You have heard the old question “Is the glass half empty or half full”. The idea is if you say half empty, you are a pessimist and if half full, an optimist. I like to reply with this, “What’s your goal, to empty the glass or fill it?”

gettyimages © Original Photo by Brooke Pennington
gettyimages © Original Photo by Brooke Pennington

The point is philosophy and other thought studies like to box one in by decisions they’ve already made about the answers you haven’t come up with yet. It’s the same for people taking a look at you and making a judgement for the first time.

They don’t know how your mind works, what your morals are, or what your life has made of you. All they see is the answers they’ve already come up with before even asking the questions.

What’s the moral to this little rambling? If there is one it might be to always ask honestly, answer honestly, and listen honestly. Honestly, it is the best policy.

 

© Copyright-All rights reserved-RonovanWrites.wordpress.com-May 12, 2014.

We are the Editors of our Lives.

Ronovan Life , , , , , , , ,
Editing Lives
gettyimages ©
Original Photo by Daniel Grill

I normally only write about my faith on Sundays, because, well . . . it’s just not an area of writing I work on. I’m into the Bible and all of that but I don’t like to get preachy about things. You may see some influences here and there in my writings but overall I stay pretty clear of ‘in your face’ things. My faith is my faith. Your faith is your faith, even if that means having faith in no faith. Hmm, wow that makes the head hurt. But I wanted to share a strange thought that came to mind today.

Some time back I read two articles, back to back and somehow they twisted an idea in my mind. One person I follow was talking about needing a writing mentor and editor while another was talking about God not answering prayer about something. Those two things led me to the idea of our being the Editors of life and God the frustrated creator of a world and the characters in it, loving them all only to see SOME foolish Editors destroy everything and change the world He came up with.

Editors are meant to help the creator, the writer, but if you run into a bad one, then by the end you won’t even recognize your work at all. Unfortunately not all Editors can be great ones. And don’t get me wrong, I think God’s original plan was perfect and He didn’t need any help, just go with me here.

Some people like to say that we turn out the way God wanted us to, but I really don’t think so. I doubt He really wanted anyone to end up blind or deaf or diseased or harmed in any other way. But due to our Editing of the world, things have happened that end up influencing our genetic make up to bring us to where we are.

If anyone has seen my picture you know I have fair skin. God didn’t want us to get sunburned or he would have put us on earth with long sleeves and pants instead of being nude. Boy did we mess up on that Editing. I’m really going to have to talk to Adam about that one someday.

Each choice we make is an Edit to the plan, either we Edit to the good or to the bad. Meanwhile other people are Editing the same story at the same time and messing up what your Edits would end up doing. There are even Edits that happen before we are born that change our story line.

I’ve learned over the years not to worry about the things not directly within my control. I try not to get upset about them. Yes, for a red haired man that’s a bit difficult. I can be as fiery as you imagine, but I am usually laid back and calm. But laid back and calm are learned things.

I know the bad things are other peoples bad Editing, and sometimes mine. I’ve also learned, through God’s writing and creation, that you don’t Edit other peoples’ lives. Let them do their own Editing and maybe they will see the great story God wrote for them in the first place.

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© Copyright-All rights reserved-RonovanWrites.wordpress.com-2014.