Respect: Part One-A Poem

Poweful Woman
gettyimages © Original Photo by pokchu

Respect Part One
by: Ronovan from Life

We All
Are Aware
Of Your Ogles
And Your Staring
Of Your Cat Calling
And Of Your Compare
Your Blood Flowing
In One Direction
Your Brain
Up in
And Vanity
Filled Inspection
Not Anyone’s Piece
Nor Their Property
Nor A MidNight
Boy’s Fantasy
I Am Brains
Weak And
Feeble Of Mind
With Ego Fractured
Y’All Don’t Understand
Why We’re To Be A Man
A Mature Being of Life
Appreciates Beauty
Intelligence And
God’s Creative
Woman Is
For Life


© 2014-2023- Ronovan Hester Copyright reserved. The author asserts his moral and legal rights over this work.


FemaleFocusFriday: What I NEED to know about ROMANCE from WOMEN!

Oh Laaaadies! Holla if ya heeeeaaarrrr meee!

I have no idea why I did that but it just came to mind as I started to type. Could you imagine living with me never knowing what to expect next? I’ve asked a range of advice questions for y’all before on some many things but today . . . a rarity is occurring. Ronovan . . . is . . .





. . . focusing.


How to ask you Out In Person, Phone Call, or Text Message

That’s right ladies it’s


(Yes I can feel the sizzle now. And strangely I like it. Who brought jumper cables?)


Oh yeah, focus, Ronovan . . . focus. Be the romance to be the romance. Philosophically that makes sense to me but in print it looks rather odd. Much like my photo. Hmm. Oh yeah, focus. So in person, on the phone or . . . yeah Kelly done told us about the third one.


I just want to make it clear that I obviously don’t really need help in this area, ahem, but my men friends might appreciate some advice.

Blue Jeans or Slacks/Pants or Saggin’ & Draggin’

What do you want your date to dress in? I know, I know, you’re going to say it depends if you are going to a rodeo or some other place. Let’s pick some other place for this. No Bostonian leather shoes and double breasted suit at the poop palooza. You don’t want to be seen with a dork. I get it. Okay so I know which one you might do away with automatically. Unless the mood is a bit other than romantic and well . . .


Natural Musk, Cologne, or Duck Commander Date Repellent

You know, it’s a difficult question for us. Seriously. What if you are allergic or asthmatic? What if and what if? We don’t want to be in the middle of  a date and have to rush you to an emergency room, that would just waste of the all you can eat taco buffet at the Huddle House Mexican Night. I am guessing here, just guessing which one you would say no to.

He_Just_Peed_On_Me(And if anyone knows of an all you can eat Taco Mexican Night at Huddle House, please let me know. I can get frog legs at the local convenience store. I kid you not.)


Flowers or Nothing or What

Maybe it’s an old fashion thing to ask, but what would you call Romantic or even would like to see happen? We might think of flowers and then freeze at the thought you might be allergic or hate the flowers we pick out. Then if we bring nothing do we look like a cheapskate? Then what if we brought some alternatives? Like maybe a cat toy?


Car, Truck, or Something Else

Now when considering this you need to consider other options like where you want to go on the date and do you want to climb up in the muck hauler or ride in the over compensating mobile or do you want to get a work out in the something else? Considering the attention some women put on calorie intake I am not certain about discounting number three, if it were disguised perhaps as as pedal car.


Candle Lit Dinner or Picnic in the Park or Do Ya Want Fries Wid Dat

Now that is unless he’s dead broke, it’s the anniversary of your first date ever and he’s recreating it, or you just don’t care and want to be with each other because that’s where the true romance is at. Taco Bell served me well in those early days. I think I know we can probably rule out number three as being Romantic. See even that guy agrees.


Dancing, No Dancing or Whatever

This one might be a little difficult because of various situations. For one, even if women can’t dance they can dance. But men when they dance, well. They think they dance like this . . .


But in reality dance like this . . .


Kiss Good Night, Hand Shake, Or Something Else

We have come to the end of the evening, I know . . . I know . . .  there are some steps missing like a stroll along aromantically lit street that seems to transport you back in time, or a classic movie being shown special on the big screen, or a concert that is difficult to ge t tickets for. Then of course perhaps coffee or something and the ride home.

Now we  come to the second most important moment of the second most important moment of the night. The kiss . . .  oh the most important? Well how to handle going to the potty, especially if it’s number 2. How romantic is that? But you asked.

There are people out there who still live with their parents. It doesn’t matter what age the dat eis, they live at home for some reason. A kiss? Okay, a soft, tender but intent kiss is a good start if you mean it. Or a lingering gentle hand shake, bu the there is the one that probably mean can relate to . . . The father inquisition . . .


Men need to know what you expect. It would be nice if their were  a manual but so many of you are different. So I want to hear from you. I mean I reiterate that I PERSONALLY don’t need in the help in the romance department if you know what I mean but there are some out there that do. What are your answers? We NEED to KNOW!!!!

Cause all I got are . . .



Much Respect

Romance Man


(Yeah, I could have given the guys the word but you know, I can’t be sharin’ my secrets. Anyone seen my Atari 2600 Joy Stick? It’s my turn to play Frogger. Freakin’ Alligator.)

2014 © Copyright-All rights reserved by

Sexy Intelligence. A #FemaleFocusedFriday article. Men join in.

Intelligence is sexy. Some of y’all think of a movie stereotype nerd or geek when hearing the word intelligent, but it’s not the rule, it’s the exception. I’ve mentioned before in a Confession what the mind does for me. I thought I would elaborate about . . .

Sexy Intelligence

marilyn_monroe_reading_bo.jpgokAh, Marilyn Monroe. Considered the greatest sex symbol of all time. Yes she was beautiful and sexy. Master of the empty look  in a full figure. What makes this photo sexy, and a few others I’ve seen? She isn’t posing, she is engrossing. Marilyn wasn’t just a pretty face and body, she had the brains to go with it. Her career shows you that. She just happened to be foolish enough to fall into the dark part of the world. A bleached blond angel bound for disaster. A highway to crack up central.


People find all  manner of things appealing and desirable. Look at a list of fetishes and I am certain you will discover some surprising revelations. Of course the foot fetish comes to mind when thinking of fetish. I can understand finding a woman’s feet attractive. You can do a lot with a massage.

I have an Intellect Fetish.  I need to explain what I mean by intellect. Intellect to me is not just knowing facts. Intellect is knowing how to properly use the information you have and in a manner that does not come across as a condescending, arrogant, jerk face.

You have the looks, the style, grace, the complete package, and then you speak. It doesn’t take long ti realize the elevator doesn’t reach the top floor.

I’m not saying you need to spell words correctly in a blog, heaven knows I mess up at times. You may even use the wrong word, it happens. But it’s your message that makes it happen for me and I am sure for others. Give me a brain with a decent packaging and I’ll take it over the Christmas wrap and a child’s toy any day.


Ladies AND Men

What do you find sexy and what makes you feel sexy?

Answer both or one.





2014 © Copyright-All rights reserved by


10 Things Men Think Women Think They MUST Know About Men

1o Things Men Think Women Know About Me

A list of things about what I believe is an easy thing to do. I was challenged by Florence T. to come up with a list of things we think women know about us. I of course never back down from a writing challenge. And yes, ladies, challenge me if you will.

I enjoyed this moment to delve into what I think men might think about this. Being a man it should be easy, but y’all may understand why there may be difficulties at times. These are not what I specifically thing about each subject, but I think people get tired of hearing my personal thoughts about things like this. But without any further rambling and to do, in  no particular order but number so I will not get lost I give you . . .


10 Things Men Think Women Think They MUST Know About Men



What they MUST know:

We  ignore them EVERY time they talk unless the word SEX is mentioned.



We don’t ignore. We are simply selective in what we acknowledge in having heard. Society has given us a way out. We are portrayed as buffoons on TV and in movies. We do not like this image but if we must suffer through it, then we will take advantage of it. And no, SEX is not the ONLY thing we acknowledge, Hamburgers, Nachos, Tacos, Pizza, and Steak also are worthy. And even for some none of these words will work.


What they MUST know:

We  like women wearing tight fitting clothing or see through clothing.



There is a rare occasion that tight fitting clothing is something we prefer to see women in. I see women wearing things so tight that I wonder how blood circulates. Very few of them should have stepped out in this attire in the first place as the sizes are not only tight, but perhaps two sizes too small. As for the see through attire? We can see more going to a restaurant or walking through any Walmart. Style, grace, a nice fit, and something hinting at what is beneath are far more appealing.  Hinting by the nice fit and the moving of the body under the material.


What they MUST know:

We  are Cuddling Machines.




We are not Cuddling Machines. Yes we do like to snuggle and cuddle at times, but this is referring to the after SEX moments. For me it is a fortunate thing if the blood pressure is not so great that my arteries do not scream at me. Muscles are trembling and every part of my body is aching from use. It has been the most enjoyable and most excruciating 5 minutes of my life. I cannot cuddle.



What they MUST know:

We  want to be examples of perfect health.




We like salads. We like the grilled salmon over the fried oysters. Both of these statements are sometimes statements. As Cookie Monster says, “C is for Cookie and that’s good enough for me”. And to paraphrase what society has forced him to say, “Cauliflower is a sometimes food”. If you need more clarification please see the end of #1.



What they MUST know:

We  want our foods perfectly organized on our plates . . . not touching.



This is some myth taught in  a class we males were not included in. If the food isn’t touching that means there is less of it. In fact we like most of our foods to touch as they taste better together. If we go to an all you can eat buffet our plates are layered like lasagna and you may find lasagna under the fried chicken and the fresh yeasty rolls, if the popcorn shrimp isn’t hiding it.



What they MUST know:

We  don’t care about what softness of toilet tissue we end up with.



Just because you can’t see us cry in the bathroom, the one we have been exiled to while using the sandpaper that seems to only be in the exiled bathroom does not, mean we don’t care. Men do not walk the way we do because we have different equipment below the belt line. We are trying not to cause ourselves to cry in public. Now you know where John Travolta got the strut from in Saturday Night Fever.



What they MUST know:

We  enjoy practical gifts for every gift occasion.

man_with _hobbes.jpg



We want toys. I need not go into this one any further.




What they MUST know:

We  always want monkey SEX.



We are not that animalistic . . . all the time. There are those days when we have been thinking about you all day long . . . through the hours of sitting in traffic to get home . . . and we are animalistic, but sometimes we actually prefer the slow moments of the connecting gazes.



What they MUST know:

We  ALL know how to fix cars.



My father knew better than to let me near a car. He used me as the free tire rotating service growing up. That was my job every few months on a Saturday. I was ‘learning’ how to change a tire. No I was ‘being used’ for free labor. That is about as far as it goes. Yes I can put oil in, and various other fluids, and even change a battery if need be. I am sure if I really had to I could do much more, I am intelligent and can read and follow instructions. But it is not a born with gift.



What they MUST know:

We are all the jealous types.

Homey Don't Play That


This is a bit serious. There are some ladies that will intentionally draw attention in order to make their Significant One jealous. We know this. Here are the things to keep in mind when doing this. If you have friends that do this, let them know.

1) If you make the wrong Significant One jealous, violence will occur

2) If you want to play that game, some of us will let you play it alone




What they MUST know:

We don’t know how to use the washing machine.



You know guys go to college and do their own laundry and often times end up with a fiance. Then what happens? Marriage and suddenly the wife decides the husband does not know how to wash clothes. Now this is not one I believe there is a complaint about. But I am putting it on the list because it is one of those things women MUST think they know about men.


I know much of the above is perhaps just my own opinions and in truth you can even turn some of them around and change the genders, especially with #10. But I accepted the challenge and I put some thought into it. I like to be funny with these lists but I also like there to be truth in each number I give so we can all share and learn. And perhaps even learn we are wrong, both you and me.

Ladies, are there things you think you know and want to know the real deal? Message me here, or if you want go to my About page and use that form, or email me at, or even DM me on twitter @RonovanWrites. I really do mean it.


For next week each day I think will take Florence T up on the second challenge she offered up.

“Or what could be a ‘perfect’ balance between two persons in a relationship..not talking about equality here… ‘balance’! Did I just take the humor out of your post? Oops! :)”-Florence T


Much Respect



2014 © Copyright-All rights

10 Things Women Need To Know About Men

I see lists about ‘How to Know Your Man’ and ‘How to Make Your Man Happy in Bed or Anywhere Else’ and I wonder sometimes if even the ones by men are really nom de ploomers for 12 year old girls working for tickets to Judson Beader concerts.


Why do I say that?


I am so glad you asked. Let me tell you . . .


Things Women Need To Know About Men


Just remember that these are all based on my own opinions and what I have observed. Which are observations and which are my own personal opinions you will most likely know if you have read my site much. Enjoy and please, don’t kill the writer.


Men Sulk and Pout


Ladies, I know it is difficult to believe that we men who scream at TVs during sporting events do this but yes . . .  we internalize things. We prefer you think we are insane or mentally deranged rather than discuss it. Pizza . . . Tacos . . . Game Systems . . . Shooting things filled with glow in the dark stuff at night? Sure, but talking–no. We’re not mad at you. We’re not ignoring you. Just let us sulk and we get over it faster. The longer we are talked to and asked about it the longer it takes to get over. Let us pout. Do you really want to hear about the long awful day we had at work? Do you really?




Don’t ask Don’t Tell


Ladies, you know those times when you ask us ‘what do you think?’ I’ll be point blank honest here. Perhaps I am honest because I don’t have the degrees for Creative Writing and all of that to tell the truth in a more creative way, just a degree History Education and writing tons of research papers. Or maybe it’s the concussion thing. My one year anniversary is coming up by the way. My imaginary self and I will be eating at an all you can eat Taco and Chinese buffet in No Calorieville. I hope you will join us. But here it is…ready?

If you already know what the answer that  you want is, don’t ask us. We don’t know what to do. Do we be honest, or give you the answer you want? You say be honest . . . but is that ALWAYS true?


“Is this shirt too tight?”


Okay, the male brain has now seized up as traffic has swarmed in the form of Spaghetti Junction in Atlanta, GA at 5 PM on a Friday before a three day holiday weekend.


  • Yes, it’s too tight because it shows off your breasts too much to other people.
  • I love that she has incredible breasts and I am proud she’s mine, eat your heart out boys.
  • She’s asking if she’s gained weight. Oh no, what do I do?
  • She’s asking if she’s gained weight. Do I tell her no because if I say yes then she will think I think she’s put on weight?
  • Man she looks good. How long will it take to get that thing of. (I hope she isn’t wearing a bra, I have no idea how those hooks work.)


You may not realize the male mind does this on its own without the participation of the male itself and all in the span of 1.01 seconds. Then the male enters into the picture and uses knowledge and common sense. You read that right. And you wonder why we get in to so much trouble with this one.


“Baby, those twins look outrageous. Mmm Mmm Mmm! You fine, girl.”-Either the young guy with no clue or the older over the hill midlife crisis male who is reliving his unsuccessful young guy days.


“I like it, but honestly honey, I love your body, and I love the fact men know how great your body is. Men are going to be staring at you enough as it is because of those kill me eyes and that beautiful smile.”-Mature, experienced male with common sense in use. Men, only use this one if you are sincere. Seriously. Customize to fit what you find amazing about the beauty of your woman.


“I don’t know, whatever.”-Moron alert and future divorce case.





No opinion


Sometimes we really don’t have an opinion about something, especially if it has nothing to do with us or we just don’t know anything about it. Also there are times we are just that laid back and are like go with the flow. No, we are not always that indecisive . . . we just don’t have an opinion or we just like your opinion. Imagine that, huh? Did I say that out loud? No. Whew, awesome. There is another reason, we’re lazy and just don’t want to think. I’m serious. Even me, the one that is always thinking, I get to that point where I can answer what I want on my sandwich; ham or turkey.





Sure, Okay & Fine


This was is so whatever that I couldn’t even come up with an image for it Guess what? You’ve heard us say those words and you don’t believe us. Well guess what again? Some of us actually mean it. Shocking I know. But rather than speak in sentences with all those parts of speech, we use the efficient one word answer to get back to what we were doing and/or avoid saying something to either a) make you mad or b) causing a lengthier discussion that will eventually lead into our getting into some sort of trouble which would lead to . . .




Gifts are NOT for buying Forgiveness


We give you flowers, candy, a gift card to Home Depot for supplies for your favorite little homemade fish pond and you think we are trying to buy you off instead of saying we’re sorry. That is our saying we’re sorry. We’re not buying you off, we’re talking. We’ve been trained not to say we’re sorry or show emotions. Emotions are a weakness. Instead we do something else, like buy you something nice to say we’re sorry for spending so much on the credit card bill.



Sometimes we really are staring off into space and not at the server.


When we’re out to dinner, we’re not always checking out the server in the required form fitting, skin tight black pants. (I wonder about that at times. Isn’t that like really a bad thing to have as a requirement?) We’re actually sometimes either a) tired and staring off into space not even knowing where we are looking or b) bored at the third time in the last hour you’ve talked about the same thing at work that’s ticked you off. My apologies for that second one, I know we do the same thing, but ladies, you are so much more intelligent than we are, perhaps leading by example would make the old dogs learn new tricks.

Sure we listen, we care, but after 2 or 3 times . . . we get it, you get it, the server in the skin tight black pants gets it. If we reacted indignant at what happened and acted like we were going to do something, you would then tease us or call us an idiot and say that it is only a little thing and you don’t want to cause any problems because it’s a great job. Huh?



We Like Chick flicks.


You read that right. Just don’t ask us about it. Don’t give us a choice. Just say you want to go to that movie Saturday night. We need the excuse. I mean really, at the end of Armageddon when Bruce Willis is saying goodbye to his daughter, didn’t you notice the man in your life tearing up?




We Like to Smell Pretty

man_in bubble_bath_happy.jpg

When you go to the store and shop, because you know if you don’t everyone you love will die from hunger because they may have some mental block about like grocery shopping, buy us the nice smelling soaps.  We like to smell good and you like us to smell good. Don’t give us the chance to be macho and go for the unscented, floats in water soap. We’re old enough to be more concerned about smelling nice rather than sinking battleships.




We Don’t Think About Megan Fox During Sex


In the middle of sex, do you want to know what we’re thinking? It all depends on the situation. We are focused on how it feels and either a) praying we don’t end the session early or b) hoping we can keep going with that pain in the back before it ruins the moment.

But I am sure some men do think about things. Like earplugs for those who don’t like the overzealous screamer. There are screamers and then there are fire alarms. Screamers are fine, just saying but a lot of focus goes into those fire alarm moments. I mean really, I appreciate appreciation but well sometimes . . . you know?

So, no, no Megan Fox or anyone else for most of us. We’re just enjoying the feel of things.




The Final Thing, and the one you’ve been waiting for . . .How to Make Us Happy In Bed.


How to make us happy in bed? It’s a simple thing really or is it? The idea most things you read about is show up, get naked and the man is happy. Maybe that works for some, but ladies let me clue you in on something. We like the heart behind the happening. A woman could be the worst technical lover to ever exist but can satisfy a man she loves and loves her back because he feels her intent and heart behind it. So it’s not just about showing up and trying to be sexy.

Yeah, I know, if that were true with all men then prostitution wouldn’t be a business. Porn would not be a business. But give me heart and you get me . . . never mind that . . . umm.



Now I know that a lot of the above has to do with communication and that some ladies love to communicate and men just don’t and that is a huge problem. I am not condoning or excusing the above, I am just telling you the truth of what is reality. Sure some of us try to do better but failures occur. I like to understand things. Tell me things so I don’t interpret something wrong. I want to learn from whatever is happening. But once I know and you know I know . . . as I said above, don’t blame me for staring at the wall.

Anyway, that’s it for today, my Feature for Female Focus Friday here at RonovanWrites. I love Fridays. For all my Friends that might read this, please tell me what things you think?

And ladies if there are things you would like to know my opinion on . . . let me know. I would love to share . . .  I really would. That would be awesome, and maybe some of your questions will be answered next Friday in a Female Focus Friday Feature.


Until next time,

Much Respect and Admiration




2014 © Copyright-All rights

Female Focus Friday: Things Men Need to Know About . . . The When and Why to Shut Up . . . During a Vent

Guys, take it from me, the man who knows . . . Women want us to Shut Up.


Not a major revelation, since I imagine most of us have heard those words, or close to them . . . a few times. But I’m not talking about those times when you . . .

  • Are about to announce the name you’ve picked out for your child that you promised not to mention to anyone.  (This usually is also  accompanied by a bruised shin that occurs from underneath the restaurant table.)
  • Or when you start telling that joke in front of her parents you just know is wrong. (Yes, never tell the mother-in-law the joke about the Secret Service discovering who peed the words The President Sucks in the snow outside the White House. Yes, being OJ Simpson at the time was funny, and yes it being in the First Ladies handwriting was also funny. But still . . .)
  • Or when you are about to tell your mother the truth about what your wife thinks of one of your mother’s specialty meals. (See results of the first type of shut up moment.)

No, I’m talking about the truly important times to shut up. Bruises will heal. Some scarring may occur, depending on the shoes worn or the length of the nails as they dig into your hand if a kick is not available. There are things worse, much . . .  much worse.


So let me give you . . .


Things Men Need to Know About . . . The When and Why to Shut Up . . . During a Vent


First you need to know that whatever the stage of the relationship, they have to let things out sometimes. If you read all those magazines and watch all those talk shows like Oprah you will know pretty quick that “They are like  Stars” and “We are like a . . .” well it rhymes with Venus. At least that’s how it seems when it comes to handling those talk times. We are insensitive. At least that’s how we’re portrayed. We’re not insensitive. We’re just not trained right.

FGdogsleep WAKE UP! This is important. Pay attention.

You know the talk times I am talking about. She’s had a bad day, and she needs to talk, and you half mindedly listen and give your advice on how to handle the situation. Before long you realize that either 1) you are alone in the room, b) you are being glared at, or the most likely 3rd) you don’t notice a thing and keep talking as you watch the game assuming you have done something amazingly helpful.


Men if you are reading this and you identify with the first two or believe she was happily listening as you spouted wisdom between screams at the coach on TV for his bad play calling and crunches of nachos while still advice spouting then I advise you to keep reading.


The scenario:

You walk into the room and your Significant One does NOT look happy. She doesn’t give you the ‘what the frilly hoohaa have you done this time’ look, so you start breathing again. Now you do the only correct thing of the next several minutes to two hours that you will do. You ask, “What’s wrong honey?”


She will do of two things:

  • She will say nothing is wrong, and you will either stupidly accept that, or you will rightly be sensitive and ask her what is really wrong, knowing you will probably regret it, but you love her and must continue.
  • Or she will immediately begin telling you what is wrong without any further prompting.



Now we enter the ‘Shut Up Zone’. Men, I know it’s difficult, but in time you learn. At times you will forget, but for the majority of the time you will make your life easier. Follow these basic rules of ‘Listening to your Significant One Vent’.


The Reasons you need to Shut Up are . . .



. . . so you can listen. Listening accomplishes a lot of things.

  1. You need to know what is actually going on for the test later. (The test will be unannounced and at any moment within the next 2 days to 55 years.)
  2. Another reason is to know when she is actually speaking specifically to you. If she pauses and stares at you, you best be ready with, an “of course, you’re right”.



. . . so you can remember not to give advice. Men, the Significant One does not want your advice. If they wanted advice they would call their mother or their best friend, neither of which you are. Oh, you think you are her best friend?

Men, we like to think that. We may even believe that. But the truth is, once you become the Significant One’s other  there is a change in the dynamic. There are things that can no longer be said or shared for fear of hurting our masculine pride. Don’t believe me? Okay, your significant other is thinking of Johnny Depp while kissing you. And that ‘mmm’ sound, was not meant for you. How do you feel now? Point made.



. . . so you can remember not to try and solve the problem. Men, they don’t need us to solve their problems. In fact if you listen well enough, you may realize there is no problem. We are the ones that created the mythical problem by asking what the problem was. In reality there probably wasn’t a ‘problem’. They just need to vent. If you do not ‘Shut Up’ you will then create a . . .

Wait for it.


. . .  BIGGER problem . . . YOU. As for solving a problem, if they want us to help they will ask us to help. (A secret, they usually don’t need any ‘help’. Yeah, like I said, just shut up.)



. . . so you can tell when the vent is over. Men, you’ve listened well, but have you paid attention. The vent is over and you are sitting there staring at her. This will lead to a couple of dangerous possibilities;

  1. It is assumed you were not paying attention and zoned out,
  2.  Or your opinion may be asked, although only on a rare occasion.

Do not, I repeat, do NOT give an opinion. Agree and say that you totally agree. I REPEAT, DO NOT GIVE AN OPINION!





. . . so you cannot ask questions. Men, shut up and just listen. Don’t ask a question because you will do one of two things;

  1. Make her mad that you interrupted
  2. Or you will send her off onto another vent before she comes back to the main vent

I repeat . . . Shut Up.

How will you know the vent is over? I will make this simple for the moment, although this could be an entire article of its own.

  1. Know the Significant One’s body language
  2. Listen to the voice for a change in pitch
  3. Finally notice the vein is no longer protruding wherever it protrudes and the shoulders are no longer up around the ears from tension and the hands have stopped waving

You may ask, “Ronovan, how do you come by these freshwater pearls of wisdom. ”

Oh young grasshopper mint cookie. Though the waters may appear calm, even this tiny grain of sand in the great ocean of the male population irritates. You either become a pearl, or you are spit out.


As for the Significant Ones reading this today, I ask, are there other reasons to add to the “Shut Up” list? Please advise. We really need to know.


The ever Needy and

Much Respectful



2014 © Copyright-All rights

I’m Back-Return of the Lost Mind Poet

I’m Back

by: Lost Mind

Atom Bomb Explosion

Did you enjoy my break

Did you enjoy the vacation

Well it’s over now

It’s time for a proclamation


To all those idiots

Who take shots on the blogs

I won’t be calling you pigs

But boys you be acting like hogs


No, I ain’t a wordsmith

I ain’t poetically adept

My words come out wild

I’m manic I sound desperate


I’ve been riled and angered

Yeah, you might say I’m ticked

Because I’ve been seeing some boys

Who been acting like a . . .


You don’t take no for an answer

You think your truth is better

You don’t even have one

You couldn’t find it with an Irish Setter


Some of you like to spout and spew

Like a philosophical misfit

Let me tell you something guys

We’re all just full of . . . it


The women say what they say

Then take it as fact

Don’t be looking for reasons

To jump on in for an attack


Oh, I’m sorry

Do you think I’m talking about you

Well if you think that

Then start brain swirlin’ why you think it might be true


Look at my history

In the poems I’ve wrote

My message is consistent

With women don’t rock my boat


Yeah, I’ve been quiet for quite some time now

You thought the Lost Mind done been found

That I had done been happy

That I was over the rainbow bound


Oh I try and do I get my smile on

But let me tell you something Jack

When the Lost Mind snaps

My poetic reflex snaps back


So to all those self important self attention seeking typists

That is for both men and women as well

Don’t be throwing out your spiel

Because you got nothing to tell


© Copyright-All rights

You Might Be An American Male if . . . The Fifth of July Edition

The day after the Fourth of July is a tradition every year. Ah . . . what, you didn’t know that? Well every year the Fifth of July happens.


You see these lists of what to do on the Fourth of July. I decided not to do one of those, nor a ‘what traditions there are’ list. Instead I decided to give my Friends a look into the American Male.


So I give to you my first edition of:


©You Might Be An American Male if . . . (The Fifth of July Edition)

You Might Be An American Male if


You might be an American Male if . . .

You go home from the emergency room after the ‘I can be a World Cup Soccer Player’ game went tragically wrong and you need some extra leg room in the car.

Soccer kick to Groin



You might be an American Male if . . .

When you want to sleep in you are out ‘Enjoying’ time with the significant other at the day after sales.

Man Carrying Shopping Bags



You might be an American Male if . . .

You are still getting over being angry that your wife canceled your Pop Goes the Larry the Cable Guy’s Fourth Six Pack to TVO the Modern Family marathon.

Larry the Cable Guy




You might be an American Male if . . .

You are attempting to deny you are the one in the epic grill leap video.

Epic BBQ Grill Leap Fail




You might be an American Male if . . .

You are treating all of the mosquito bites from the night before that you didn’t realize you had from either the World Cup Soccer Ball ‘game’ or ‘grilling’.

Ron Calamine Lotion




You might be an American Male if . . .

You and your friends are still having to yell at each other after the fireworks shows or concerts you went to.

Do You Understand



And finally, you might be an American Male if . . . well just watch for the last guy.

Pool slide fail


And that’s it for this first edition of  ©You Might Be An American Male if . . . Look for more coming your way as I bring my Friends around the world a taste of the funnier side of America, and maybe sometimes the more serious. Also join me for editions of ©He Might Be An American Male if . . . coming soon.

Much Humor to you all

The You Might Be An American Male if . . .,


P.S. They can only get better from here. Just saying.


© Copyright-All rights 04, 2014.

He said she said….

Nishi is really expanding on her writing and blogging style. That ‘My Best Friend’ about broke my heart, and now she nails the man woman relationship in the technological age.
You have to check it out and let her know how great she’s doing. 🙂 Although I don’t need any further writing competition around here. Never mind!

The Showcase

ncEEbbacA.jpeg (500×359)

“Hey, what are you doing?” he asked

“Cooking” she said

“Are you watching that show on your iPad?”

“Hmm.. yes” she said

“Why cant you just do one thing at a time?”

“Because I CAN do both” she said

“Whatever” he said dismissively

“What are you doing?” she asked

“Working” he said

“And your headphones?”she asked

“What about them?

“They’re in your ear”

“Im listening to music” he said

“Let me see… and Facebooks open..”she said peering into the laptop screen

“Yea, so?”

“I rest my case”

Word of Warning: Never text and drive.

View original post

Men get away with . . . NOTHING!

Men get away with . . . NOTHING!

by: Ronovan


Men, we think we have them snowed. You know all of our little ways of doing things, but we don’t. Nope. Women know. They know when you’re walking through the store and you shake that leg trying to get a muscle cramp out that you’re either a) trying to get the underwear back in place, or b) trying to get some other things in place.

Elvis Jail House Rock

Don’t yell men. I’m not giving away trade secrets. I haven’t given out the secret handshake yet.


But men, it’s time to give up the delusions.


Here are 5 things women know we’re doing:



You’re not scratching your nose or rubbing your nose. No matter how fast you do it they see the thumb slip inside that nostril. They know.



They know you aren’t behind a car with some faulty exhaust system when the smell hits after Taco Bell. Next time just the Tacos and not the additional Nachos Belle Grande.



You don’t check for your wallet that many times. They know you’re scratching your butt.



They know you are going to check out the waitress. You know you are going to check out the waitress. DON’T check out the waitress. And yes that means the other waitress a few booths behind the woman you are with that you are checking out while you pretend to be thinking about a question your lady asked you. We’re not that deep.



They know what the word ‘fine’ means. They know it doesn’t mean yes. It means the same as ‘whatever’. In other words they know that you don’t want to do whatever it is but you are agreeing to it just so they will stop talking about it.



Life could be so much simpler, guys. I don’t really know how, but it could. Yes, the nose hair causes things to itch. Trim it. Tacos? Take something ahead of time or eat less than some small states. Butt itch? Use some powder or lotion. Waitress checking? Stare at the table or your woman. The word ‘fine’? Well there’s no solution to that one. No matter what we come up with they’ll just know.



Until next time, peace out and don’t pretend to stretch so you can smell if you forgot deodorant . . . or need it.

Man checking for stinky pits

© Copyright-All rights reserved-RonovanWrites© 24, 2014.

5 Thoughts on Facial Follicles & Shaving Torture

5 Thoughts on Facial Follicles & Shaving Torture

by: Ronovan

Women have it so difficult shaving. Puhleeeasseeee.


Actually that was just to get your attention. But you know men don’t have it easy in the shaving area either.


I read an article recently over at my new found friend’s site A College Girl’s Confessions called Why Shaving Sucks. Always reading about the dire straits of the beauty lives of women got me to thinking that we men have it tough as well. (Don’t ask me why I read about the beauty lives of women. I Follow for Inspiration, right? Right.)

Cut-Throat Razor Blade

I honestly think that the idea of men shaving was something women came up with. What sane man would voluntarily think “Hey, let me put a razor blade to my throat and see if I sneeze.”? And there is no way I would actually let an old fashioned barber do it either. I don’t trust myself with one of those mafia movie killing things so I definitely won’t trust anyone else. Look at that thing.


Woman Shaving Man Blood
gettyimages © Original Photo by Ryerson Clark

And a woman with a blade? Umm . . . really? No way, especially not after that above article and the contortions and things. I have no desire for my important man parts to go missing. I like my nose where it is, thank you very much.


Here are 5 Thoughts on Facial Follicles & Shaving Torture


First thing, why is it women can comment on our facial hair and their disapproval of it but if we men mention theirs we are insensitive and sleeping on the edge of the bed for the next week? That’s if we’re lucky to still be in the bed. And yes, we know women stop shaving their legs sometimes out of revenge for something we men have done. Here’s a secret ladies, we don’t care that much . . . well not at the point we would notice anyway. I mean seriously, at that point an asteroid hits the earth and we don’t care.


You nicked your legs shaving: I nick my face and I can’t put a band aid on my face and get away with it. People would be asking me if I had some type of biopsy or something. (Yes I had that done once. I’m good now.)


Shaving cream up the nose: Do I really have to explain the awfulness of alcohol and whatever else is in that stuff going up the nasal passages feels like and how irritating it feels for days afterwards? I guess I just did.


You miss a spot shaving the legs? Think about missing a spot on your face where everyone is looking. Which one do you think they’ll notice in an interview? Yes, I am sure there are some that would notice your legs, I know, I know, but we’re talking about the other 5% of the polite people conducting interviews.


Oh, and don’t get me started on the ear hair issue. Okay, God, I know why you gave us all the various Old Man Ear Hairhair that we have, but seriously, why the extra Sasquatch growth of ear hair for men? I start in September leaving it alone and don’t need earmuffs by winter. Men if that hasn’t become an issue for you YET then take a tip from my article 10 Things Every Writer Needs But Never Thinks About and invest in Nair now.  Oh, and someone call them about Nose Nair, I swear it is sooo needed.



Ladies, yes, I know you have it tough shaving, and believe me when I say at least this man appreciates all you go through, but appreciate what we go through as well. Nose hair, ear hair, facial hair, neck hair, between the eyebrows hair . . . What? Am I the only one that shaves that?

Man with Unibrow


© Copyright-All rights 22, 2014.

Free The Nipple? Hmm…

Free The Nipple? Hmm…

by: Ronovan


There is a movement to free the nipple everywhere in the US? Dude, aight!

 Bug Eyed Man in Color

You would think that men would be jumping through hoops for this one. It’s already okay in New York, I mean anyone can walk around topless…legally. So what’s the big deal? Why is there so much flack about it? I mean really, everyone’s got them. Well maybe some people don’t. There is probably some DNA thing that happens or something. Okay not getting sidetracked into a book idea here.


I have to admit when I first heard of this idea I really had no idea what I thought about it. Miley Cyrus was the first one I think may have made a big deal about it that crossed the radar for me. But in all honesty I think she just does things to be in the public eye.


She’s very talented but is just trying to break that Hannah Montana thing a bit too hard. I saw some award show of her and Robin Thicke and the girl needs a few cheeseburgers and an idea of little kids are watching her perform. I know maybe that’s the parent’s fault but when it’s a televised award show then kids are going to be watching.


Now back to the program. Free the Nipple.


Here go my opinions on what people’s opinions are:

1)      Some women don’t want it because it would make them feel uncomfortable

2)      Some men don’t want it because they would feel like pervs

3)      Some women want it because they really do want equality

4)      Some men want it for the same reason

5)      Some men want it because…well they’re men

6)      Some men and women don’t want it because it’s just not what is the normal they’ve grown up with


Scout Willis recently walked around New York City topless, legally, to show how Instagram is basically full of it and full of censorship over something legal that’s actually legal to do. Okay so there is the issue of crossing various state and national lines, I get that when you are dealing with the internet. Scout’s reasons were legit, I have to give her credit for that and for just going for it.


Now here is my take on the whole thing:


We were meant to be naked when we were created and then we went and screwed that up. When I get to Heaven I’m going to have a sit down with Adam about that whole Eve and the fruit thing…seriously.


The reason women can’t walk around topless is because men ARE pervs. Okay so it’s also been a tradition for thousands of years to be clothed. I get that, but men ARE pervs about these things. No, no I know not all men are but a vast majority are…deep down in there…hearts.


A woman of reasonable attractiveness walks by topless and a man is going to wreck a car or slip on his drool. He’s basically going to be an idiot. Would I be like that? I want to say no. But no one knows what they would do about something until faced with it…for the most part.


Would I look? Of course there would be that first notice of…”Whoa that is so not really real, right?” going on. Then I would probably stare at the ground or stop and look in another direction. Why? Because I don’t want to be one of those guys.

Barney Fife

Of course some men would be like “Well if she didn’t want us to look then she should cover ‘em up.” Umm…that’s like saying women shouldn’t notice you have a toupee askew just because you chose to be vain. Yes, more crude things came to mind, but I’m just not THAT man to say those things.


Now here is something I am wondering about; would topless women desensitize men to the sexual aspect of that part of the woman? After a certain amount of time society would grow accustomed to topless women and it wouldn’t be a thing. In a way it might be good in that it makes boys grow up not thinking of women’s breasts as sexual objects.


Maybe this is sort of like the bathing suits of old. They went from those full one piece head to toe things for both men and women basically down to more revealing and now dental floss and breath mints. People will thus argue what is the next thing, full nudity?


I pray not. I really don’t want to go into a restaurant and see all of everybody hanging out. And there would be the whole Niles Crane from Frasier thing going on with the wiping down everything we ever touched. Talk about some possible sanitary issues. Big EWWW.

Niles Crane

Sorry ladies, but I like a bit of mystery. I’m not for the FTN thing. Am I being sexist? I’m not sure, but I think there are some things that are meant for certain people only. I don’t think men should be allowed to go around shirtless either, but then that may be because I would never be able to do it.


I don’t think men should be allowed to use the ladies room anywhere. Am I being sexist or against alternative life styles or choices? Nope.


I don’t think Gorillas should be allowed to swim in the shark tanks at a zoo just because they want to. Am I being anti Gorilla? Nope.


I don’t think women should be allowed to go into a men’s locker rooms. Sexist? Nope.


Maybe I’m a bit old fashioned or just a bit more of a prude when it comes to some things. I understand when statements are being made. If a law is a law then okay. But until then…I’ll keep my shirt on if you’ll keep yours on. Trust me…you don’t want to see all this happenin’.


And I know that women who breast feed have to do it. So it’s not that issue I am speaking of.


In closing I want to mention a comedian named Ron White. He has a joke where he talks about seeing a woman naked. He basically says that once you’ve seen one naked you pretty much want to see all of them naked. I have to say…NOPE!


Much Respect and Much Paleness



© Copyright-All rights 14, 2014.

I’m Not THAT Man

I’m Not THAT Man

by: Ronovan


“So you say I’m pretty? I am not interested in you, so give up.”


How many of you men out there have heard anything like that? No, keep your hands up. I’ll get to you eventually. Oh, never mind. I’ll just say a lot of you said yes. Pardon how I ask this, but doesn’t that just chap your cheese and grate your hide? And yes…that is how I say it.


I have a confession to make. I have a habit.


Yes, it’s true. I….I…I pay compliments.What Balloon


The weight is lifted and I can breathe again. Ah, that feels so good.


When I compliment it’s normally about someone’s talent but occasionally it may be about someone’s hair or dress. I am even sometimes amazed at the way someone’s skin looks. Maybe it’s because I have fair skin and cannot tan that I find those who can amazing. But I get judged because of other people who have complimented in the past with other intentions.


And it’s not just women that will judge. Even men think you are up to something if you pay compliments to a woman.




I believe it is one of three reasons;Cartoon Whistling at Woman

1)      That’s the reason THEY pay a woman compliments

2)      In their experience that’s the ONLY reason men have paid compliments before

3)      Media/Entertainment PORTRAYS it that way


Don’t worry, I’m not saying that this judgment hasn’t been brought on by legitimate actions of men over the course of existence but I don’t like it.


Yes, I said it. I DON’T like it.


Young Woman after Old Man's MoneyI’m not an attractive guy, so if a woman were to pay attention to me should I instantly assume she is after money?


“Oh, that is just so wrong of you to even think. Not all women are like that. And you need to have more confidence in yourself.”


Excuse me? Hello! You judge me shouldn’t I judge you? Guess what, I don’t think that way. For one thing I don’t get approached but if I did I wouldn’t even think about it. People are just people to me.




No it’s not. It’s taken years to get to this point in my life and with some odd occurrences but I am a person who just sees a person as whatever they represent. That doesn’t mean I am going to let you spend the night at my house and pet my cat. I don’t know you that well. But you haven’t done anything to me to warrant my considering you a criminal.


Do you know that’s what it feels like when someone thinks of you as just a hit on artist? A nice person feels dirty andEmbarrassed Tiger ashamed. And all they did was be nice. It makes them not want to try and be nice any longer.


I’m not saying people should be naïve. I am just saying people should take each person as they come and be “Okay, you’re fine until you screw up.” That screw up is not as in, go out with a person or trust a person in your home until they do something bad. That means you know them for a long time and see what they are like consistently before advancing any further, if that is even a possibility.


And don’t treat us nice guys like the last person that hurt you in a relationship.


I’m not THAT man.


I’m me.



© Copyright-All rights 09, 2014.

Cologne and Glass: The Things Memories are Made of (Writing Tip)

Cologne and Glass: The Things Memories are Made of (Writing Tip)

by: Ronovan

What takes you back to childhood days? So you smell the autumn leaves and think of the schoolyard playground, or jumping in leaves? Does a crisp morning with clear sunshine peeking through bare tree limbs throw you back to high school weekends? Can you use this to help your writing? Sure you can. Write what you feel.

For me there is a love affair with glass bottles. Really it can be any type of bottle that has character to it. But today I want to share an art that isn’t really given enough credit.

Avon Cologne Bottles

One of the great tragedies of the world is that men are afraid of the word Avon. That word bringImages the idea of makeup and pink cars with oh just so perfect looking women with samples for the woman of the house. But there is something a generation or two of men have missed out on. Let me show you why men should be a little more open to Avon, and it has nothing to do with makeup.

Cars are great, especially in glass. Imagine being a kid and walking into what you think must be the oldest house in the world and seeing a whole desk lined with cologne bottles like this. At that moment I was hooked. But maybe cars aren’t really what you are into.



A how about a motorcycle?







A steamboat?                                                                                          Sailboat?



 Or maybe even animals.



You just never know where and when you will find works of art. I see these and get flashes of old feelings and they bring words to describe old moments of an old time. Anything can inspire a moment of writing and help capture a feeling you need. When you want to have that nostalgic feeling or a need to feel like a kid, look at something from your childhood. Then close your eyes and write what you see and feel.

© Copyright-All rights 07, 2014.

Men, Supersize Me, and Pornography.

A recent conversation and the #YesAllWomen response to Elliot Rodger’s deranged murders began me to thinking a bit.

Notebooks are a great source for inspiration. You write down important thoughts that you don’t want to forget, such as a conversation I had about the subject of men finding women from other countries more attractive than the women of their own country. Or more specifically it was that they were fascinated by them. Just to clarify, the conversation was with a woman. Twitter can bring things to your attention you try to avoid, like the Elliot Rodger insanity.

Men like to say that it’s the individual person that matters and we look for;
• the intellect over the eye candy
• the heart over the hairstyle
• the soul over the sexy
• the tenderness over the–you can fill that one in

But is that really true?

The conversation led me to wondering what men looked for most on the internet about women, such as the nationality or what the internet calls race. (An aside here, I prefer one race, the human one.) Do men in the United States prefer one ‘race’ of woman over another? Do they prefer traditionally Asian women, African women, Egyptian women, French women, or Indian women?

A search will find different answers but it seems in general Asian women top most lists, followed by African/African American, and probably Latin women are a close third if not tied for second. But there is no specific research pointing to any definitive answer.

As with many ideas one has there occurs an evolution into another idea.

Where this train led was internet pornography. Don’t worry I didn’t go searching those sites. I’m no prude or hypocrite. It’s just not my thing at this stage of my life. Maybe when I was younger, but I really don’t know. You all know why. But these days I have other things to focus on or at least try to focus on.

But if we men do find intelligence and the like attractive then why in 2012 were there 40 million Americans regularly visiting pornography sites? To be honest, not all of those were men. Women also enjoy pornography. But I am speaking from the male side because,well,I am one.

Steinem Quote

Think about that quote for a moment and let it sink in. You can apply it to men and women watching videos as well. These ‘manuals and training videos’ teach SOME men and women about the wrong kind of sex or what sex isn’t. Then when the real world hits them in the face, they strike back.

I’m not saying that pornography is the cause of all the crimes against women, or even men, but I think it does dehumanize people in one’s mind and desensitize people to what is respectful or reality. I know that’s an old fashioned phrase but it shouldn’t be. People cry out for respect but when you use the words ‘be respectful’ they treat you like a joke or some alien.

Despentes Quote on Pornography

This is a quote all people need to realize. If you’ve ever seen the documentary Supersize Me you see that eating McDonald’s for every meal for an extended period of time is not good for you, a too much of a good thing scenario of sorts. Some might say pornography is such a thing but that’s an opinion.

You love McDonald’s for what it is but it’s not real. You go home and eat a real hamburger and it is the best tasting thing. It’s just right on the outside, just slightly charred with the inside still tender and moist, and you actually have to open your mouth wide to eat it. Your mouth begins to water even before the bun reaches your lips. Then that first bite makes you wonder why you ever went to McDonald’s in the first place.

In truth pornography also makes what you ARE having less than what it is. You expect the almost impossible. You expect what people are being paid to do or are intentionally performing for viewing.

Pornography is a temporary fix. For some it may even be an emotional fix. But it’s a fake fix, a placebo. You took a sugar pill to cure a disease. It gives you a buzz, a momentary high, but minutes later you crash and feel as though you just wasted your life. You promise yourself you’ll never do it again, you’ll never eat another Big Mac. The next day you are in the drive-thru because the fix is intentionally created to be addicting.

What’s the solution?

Pornography can be an addiction which is a habit. Break the habit with another habit. If you feel porn calling, go outside and walk, or start writing. You find that email in your inbox? Unsubscribe, block it, do whatever it takes to stop it from being delivered. You find yourself typing that site address? Well, that one is on you my friend. But you can set your filters to stop sites from being accessed.

This article started as one about why men thought women from other countries were more fascinating but it ended up elsewhere. I guess the fascination is like going on vacation. Do you want to stay home for that week, or do you want to go away for a week? You want to be home but you enjoy the scenery of the vacation.

As for the pornography, what suggestions do you have to help people who really struggle with this? Keep in mind this is an addiction for some, a real illness. It’s like smoking, binge eating, drinking and any drug you become addicted to. It induces a release of those endorphins to make your mind temporarily happy. So sincerely think about it and leave a thought or suggestion.

In conclusion I would like to say that anything that demeans another person isn’t right. We’re meant to lift each other up in positive ways. Even though I see pornography as an addiction, an illness, I don’t condone any of it. It’s kind of like an episode of Happy Days from years ago when one of the characters named Potsie, an innocent teen, sees a centerfold and says something like “I bet that would look great in a sweater.” Potsie got it right.

One last quote.

Haide on Pornography

© Copyright-All rights 07, 2014.

Respect: Part One-A Poem

Poweful Woman
gettyimages © Original Photo by pokchu

This was a practice not only in message but also in the visual form of the writing.

Respect Part One
by: Ronovan from Life

We All
Are Aware
Of Your Ogles
And Your Staring
Of Your Cat Calling
And Of Your Compare
Your Blood Flowing
In One Direction
Your Brain
Up in
And Vanity
Filled Inspection
Not Anyone’s Piece
Nor Their Property
Nor A MidNight
Boy’s Fantasy
I Am Brains
Weak And
Feeble Of Mind
With Ego Fractured
Y’All Don’t Understand
Why We’re To Be A Man
A Mature Being of Life
Appreciates Beauty
Intelligence And
God’s Creative
Woman Is
For Life


© Copyright-All rights 27, 2014.