Taylor Swift and Mean For #1000Speak on Bullying.

1000 voices speak for compassion1000 Voices Speak for Compassion is Speaking about Bullying. I’ve written a couple of articles already. I wanted to share a music video. Taylor Swift and Mean fits quite well. One thing I like about it? I can understand the words. Always great with a song. Listen to it, even if you don’t like Taylor Swift.

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Peer Pressure: The Bully in Disguise

As always with a post, I wrote one out and it was long and rambling and ended up with a thought nowhere near the place it began. And I finally ended up with this piece. Maybe it isn’t perfect but it is my contribution.

Red hair, freckles, chubby, and new in school; what do you think those things equal to? Yep, bullied. I survived. But that’s not the bullying I want to talk about today. This is the one type of bullying every person on the planet faces and at one time or other fails at fending off.

Peer Pressure: The Bully in Disguise

bullyingWe have all faced this. Some of us don’t even realize it. If you have been coerced into doing something you didn’t want to do by a friend or group of friends who knew you didn’t want to do that thing, that’s bullying. How many teens have died from that first drug taken? How many girls have ended up pregnant from having sex just one time? How many guys and girls for that matter, have ended up hurt for life because they played a sport they didn’t want to?

What is some obvious ways Peer Pressure looks like?

I was bullied in the traditional way until I got a little older, and figured things out. One thing I rarely fell in to was peer pressure. I saw it happen to friends. That guy in history class who couldn’t lift his head up as he vomited all over his desk because he had drank a whole bottle of vodka or at least most of one before school, the sex behind the concession stand, the sex in the school bus, smoking in the bathrooms. The shoplifting just that once. You name it and someone you know has likely been bullied with the threat of being an outcast because they weren’t cool enough to be adult enough.

But what other types of Peer Pressure Bullying are there?

But it doesn’t stop with those behaviors. My son has let his grades slip. He’s still getting top marks but he’s just doing it at the bottom of that. He didn’t like being called one of the two nerdiest kids in his grade. I told him Bill Gates is a nerd. Nerds make those fancy electronics that all those kids play on rather than focus on studying.

Peer pressure is even present in how we eat.

“You’re eating a fruit cup, yogurt, and a salad at McDonalds?”

“You want water instead of a Coke?”

Even TV.

“You watch Educational TV instead of ESPN?

The traditional type of bullying is bad but Peer Pressure is bullying people haven’t thought about. It’s the kind that kills more teens, likely causes more suicides, and does more damage to our society, cultures, and nations than anything.

The United States government tries to force a certain required system of teaching in place. Any teacher knows you can’t do that. The US worries about dropping further behind nations in education. It’s not that teaching has been wrong; we learned the old ways and are doing fine, and so are the teachers trying to teach this new way.

The problem is countries don’t focus on supporting an environment where each child is to flourish in the area they are best suited for without being made to feel better than others or lesser than others. Each person has a skill, a talent. To change peer pressure it will take decades, decades of first our generation then the next, and then the next to stop it. Once you can give a student self worth and have them understand other students’ self worth, a lot of the other type of bullying will stop.

Building for Bullying Part One.

As I grew older and realized who I was and what I was I saw the problems with peer pressure around me. Some reputations were destroyed of some great young people I knew and they never recovered. Maybe that’s why I am less of a joiner and a late joiner when I do. I sit back and watch and listen and learn. When I am ready, if I am ready, I will take the  next step. But the step has to be for me because I want to.

You can look at my blog and tell I’m not exactly a conformist. I don’t write content that is focused on one thing or in one style. My reading selections are all over the place. I have every type of  friend you can have. I’ve gone my own way. I’ve learned from other peoples’ mistakes. And what I’ve learned I’ve passed on to my son, many students, and youth group members as well as adults that have worked for me over the years.

I could have become a bully. I am a big guy. Temper back then. I was being bullied, and taunted when I snapped. I grabbed the guy by the jacket, spun him around onto the stands in the gym and informed him I was sick of it in a very vocally forceful way. No foul words. Then I sat back down. He was scared. People wanted me to fight him all day. I never did. His bullying reputation was ruined. I didn’t want to start my own.

Building From Bullying Part Two

When my son comes home and talks about a bully, we talk about bullying. We discuss it, who the kid is, what they are like. We discuss why bullies are the way they are. We talk about how fortunate he is to have parents that raise him in a way that doesn’t promote bullying and that is loving and respectful of him and what he likes.

Don’t get me wrong, the word ‘NO’ exists in the house. Usually he knows it’s coming, but he still has to try. A lot of times he’ll be smiling knowing what an answer will be. I’ve discusses in posts before of his intelligence and his heart. He doesn’t hold grudges against kid bullies. Adults though? He holds them more responsible. Yes, he knows adults bully kids. Told you, he’s smart. But he moves on and he treats everyone the same, bully or friend alike. To him, just about everyone is a friend until they do something that is just really dumb.

How much does my son stand up to bullies? He’s the hero of his grand. An older kid had four of them pinned to the wall by the neck with his arms.  My son got away and distracted him so the others got away. Then he told a teacher, in spite of the other boys saying not to. Smart, a heart, and brave. He has a sense of right and wrong that is so ingrained that it shocks me at times. Bullies beware.

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Bad Reaction from ‘Breaking Bad’ Boy.

Bad Reaction from Breaking Bad Boy.

Toys “R” Us was selling Breaking Bad action figures, including detachable bags of cash, and get this, bags of meth . . . in the kids section. I don’t think there is a grown up section in Toys “R” Us, but a Florida Mom decided to start a petition to have the figures removed.

The petition reads as follows:

“Toys R Us is well known around the world for their vast selection of toys for children of all ages,” she wrote. “However their decision to sell a Breaking Bad doll, complete with a detachable sack of cash and a bag of meth, alongside children’s toys is a dangerous deviation from their family friendly values.”

The Mom said;

“I thought the show was great,” she said. “It was riveting.”

Her purpose with the petition was to;

“Just to get those taken off the shelf and put them in an appropriate store.”

The petition worked.

Well the stars took to Twitter in response. Bryan Cranston, the star of the show actually responded in a somewhat humorous way;

Florida mom petitions against Toys ‘R Us over Breaking Bad action figures.’ I’m so mad, I’m burning my Florida Mom action figure in protest.

Kind of funny to me. I get the tongue in cheek thing he did there. He obviously, at least to my mind, could almost care less.

Then there was Aaron Paul’s reaction. I’m not going to quote his rants. The other star of the show whose toy got pulled from shelves was not as humorous or mature as Cranston, even referring to the Florida Mom as the ‘B’ word, if perhaps in a sideways manner.

He goes off on Toys “R” Us about violent video games and Barbie then ultimately ends with the ‘B’ word.

Paul, here’s what you don’t get or maybe more accurately don’t care about, games are mostly locked up or at least rated. These action figures were on shelves next to other harmless toys. Sure, it’s a toy, but you know what? Your characters glamorized drug dealing. Sure it didn’t really try to deliver that message but the stars of the show dealt in drugs. So guess what kids think?

Yeah I know it’s not that huge a thing maybe. You got a problem with it, why not petition Toys “R” Us to have a grown up collectors section to sell action figures such as yours where it is monitored to not allow kids in instead of going off on a mom who cares about morals. Yeah, I said morals. Glamorizing drug dealing is amoral. Period.

Toys “R” Us released this statement;

“The products you reference are carried in very limited quantities and the product packaging clearly notes that the items are intended for ages 15 and up. Items from this TV series are located in the adult action figure area of our stores.”

I guess it’s okay for the 15 year old to play with meth toys. And yes the packaging does say 15 and up. That does not mean it is guaranteed in the adult section. Not really getting that myself about meth okay for a 15 year old. Yeah, I know it’s toy meth. If you go to Amazon you will see the manufactured recommended age says 10 years and up. It doesn’t say anywhere the intended ages that are on the packaging nor is there an image of the packing. Wonder why no action there yet.

Anyone reading this might next go off on selling Iron Man or Tony Stark dolls because he drinks or Captain America because serums/drugs and scientific experiments turned him into the physical aspects of Captain America. Really what those characters show is what is inside that counted and work past there problems and move on. Tony Stark? Sorry, he’s not my favorite and never has been.

Captain America? Steve Rogers is what makes Captain America what he is. The guy who jumped on a grenade as a 98 lb weakling not knowing it was a dummy grenade because he wanted to save his platoon members.

Yeah, I know there is more to Breaking Bad than meth and all of that, but the action figures are not depicting that.

So Aaron Paul what if there were Celebrity Men Who Beat Their Wives action figures on the shelf next to Barbie, would you want a little girl seeing that?

The sad part of this is, some of you might not even know who Aaron Paul is and this is the only thing you know about him. But he’s tarnished himself a bit here. Want to know why?

If you, a celebrity, start calling out a Florida Mom on Twitter to, well I imagine millions of followers, guess what that is. Guess what it is when you start calling her the ‘B’ word to all those people, and then it gets in online entertainment sites followed by millions.  It’s called Bullying.

Aaron Paul and his wife were part of an anti-bullying drive that raised almost $2,ooo,ooo for the non-profit Kind Campaign.

But you know, it won’t matter. This will be swept away while people who do minor things in life are outcasts forever. Good job Aaron Paul. Maybe someone will use you as a poster boy for an anti-bullying campaign against celebrities using their high horse to bully us common people.

celebrity_power_bullying

Rant over.

Much Love and Respect to all People

Ronovan

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Odd One Out

Never the one chosenBlossom on tree

Never the one choice

Never the one chased

Never the one charmed

 

Ever the one alone

Ever the one afar

Ever the one aware

Ever the one alarmed

 

The one hurting

The one heaving

The one haunting

The one howling

 

Battered

Broken

Bound

Bent

 

Rising

Reveling

Realizing

Reinventing

 

Now the one embraced

Now the one enthroned

Now the one empowered

Now the one elegantly…alone and okay

 

Inspired by several offerings I’ve read today about things not owed and being that odd girl out. One a more detailed piece and the other a photograph. I think all people at some point and many creative people especially can relate to those two offerings.

 

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Internet Cyber Bullies: Not just for the young.

Cyber Bullying, Internet Bullying, Cyber Bullies, Trolls. You know where this is going. Did you know that if you share your thoughts on the internet that you might get attacked or that people like to use those things to try and make you feel weak and bad? No? It happens, even to the nicest people, INCLUDING adults. Cyber Bullying isn’t just about teenagers or younger any longer or in truth has never just been about those ages. Some call it discussing, commenting or debating. To me once you cross a line it becomes something else. This isn’t about something that’s happened to me. It’s happened to my FRIENDS.

Internet Troll

Internet Cyber Bullies: Not just for the young.

by: Ronovan

 

Why do bloggers blog? Is it because we want attention? For some that may be the case,  but I would say for most it is to share their thoughts and their creations. There are those who do it as a hobby of sorts or even as a way to make money. I need to look into how to do that last one. I’m not sure anyone would pay me to write what I write. I’m just too random.

 

If you are a paid columnist for a major publication I am sure you expect some attacks or fallout from certain pieces published. For those who simply share personal experiences in order for others to find a person to connect with and heal with, I expect an attack comes as a shock. It’s a sucker punch, a low blow, basically a jerk thing to do.

 

Have I been personally attacked? No, but I have seen my friends attacked. I hold my tongue and bite my fingers while I’m at it. Sure, I may write something in response either on their blog or even in an article myself but it is always more toward the support of the friend than against the attacker. I like to support the positive and not encourage the negative.

 

I’m a peacemaker. It’s what some call a spiritual gift. When I see strife it tears at me. When it involves one of my friends, especially a woman, I become . . . not happy. Society needs to realize that Cyber Bullying is not just limited to school aged kids. It happens to adults too. Sometimes it’s even by another blogger who is just so self centered they can’t see past their ego bubble to notice they have a problem.

 

And if what is called a ‘troll’ can find you and your weakness they are going to pick at that weakness until it bleeds and you crack. Yes, ‘troll’ is just another word for cyber bully. But people apply it to adult on adult bullying because we as adults are supposed to be able to handle ourselves.

 

Really? Give a try sometime and see how you like it. Not everyone is the same. Not everyone’s history is the same. I wrote an interview recently that showed me how different people really can be. That in part sparked this article. That, and a few other incidents.

 

‘Troll’ alert: I’m good. I’m better adjusted than my site content may suggest. I’ve been mentally attacked by the best and I’m still standing.

 

No matter what a blogger says the ‘troll’ will take the opposite view or spin words to create chaos, even if the blogger agrees at some point, the ‘troll’ will just change their words to keep an argument going.

 

‘Trolls’ want to argue and hurt people. Some ‘trolls’ don’t even know they’re ‘trolls’. However, they do know what they are doing. They find that person they think is weak, discover things about them, and then when the opportunity arises they strike. Or perhaps they don’t realize that’s what they are doing, I mean some of them. They just ended up mentally conditioned to prey upon others. I’m not giving them a free pass for it. Big boy, put on the big boy panties and act like a big boy or girl.

 

So how do you handle a ‘troll’? If you are a blogger you can block them from posting. Or better is just to ignore them and ask your reader Friends to not reply to their comments. ‘Trolls’ want attention. Don’t give it to them and some day they will go away.

Do not Feed the Cyber Trolls

But that isn’t the answer for some bloggers. There are some situations that can’t be ignored. That’s when you do have to block them or even report them to whoever you have your blog with. I would just make sure to reply to a comment telling the ‘troll’ not to comment on any more of your blog posts or any other social network or media you are involved with. Copy it, screenshot it, keep it, and if it continues, it’s harassment.

 

Will this article bring the ‘trolls’ my way? Perhaps, but if they disrupt my Friends enjoyment of my creations they will be blocked. And in truth, they would just give me more things to write about. Perhaps my next article would be Cyber Bully Booger Blues. So sad.

 

Until next time,

Much Respect

Ronovan

 

 

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