Lemon Squares and Stupid Boys
“What’s wrong, Becky?”
“I don’t get it, Jonesy.” I kept my eyes on the people across the street. “Why would Old Chubs kick Mrs. P out? She’s lived here longer than anyone else.”
“Your dad said her sons won’t help her pay the rent since Mr. P died.”
“Ugh! Boys are so stupid and mean!”
“Really?” Jonesy asked.
I glared at him. “You don’t count. You know what I mean.”
Brown eyes stared at me.
“Besides, who is going to make us lemon squares now? Mom can’t make them. She pretty much sucks at those.” I thought for a moment. I thought so hard my brain hurt. “Wait! Maybe she could sell lemon squares and make money for rent.” I jumped up.
“Sit down, Becky,” Jonesy said. “It’s too late. They’re bringing her out now.”
I watched a policeman help Mrs. P down the steps. Chubs stood on the sidewalk, and looked up at the window of the apartment. The flowerbox was full and overflowing with purple and yellow somethings.
“I hate him,” I said.
“Hate’s one of the biggest little words there is.”
“Hush up, Jonesy.” I wasn’t in the mood to hear what was right and wrong. I knew people had to pay bills and stuff, I just hated that her sons were so stupid. Six sons and they couldn’t put in a little each to help her with bills? “She did all the nasty stuff for them when they were babies. They should do something.”
The door opened behind us. “Becky, it’s time for lunch.” I looked up at Mom. She glanced at Chubs and frowned. “Make sure to clean Jonesy’s feet off before he comes in and hang his leash up. You keep throwing it on the floor. He’s yours remember, so you have to do things right.” Mom closed the door.
I looked down and scratched Jonesy’s golden head. “You better take care of me when I get older, Jonesy or no more hotdogs for snacks when Mom isn’t looking.”
Jonesy licked my face. “Eww … Jonesy, I know where that tongues been!”
© Copyright-All rights reserved-RonovanWrites©.wordpress.com-June 25, 2014.
10 Things Every Writer Needs But Never Thinks About
There are things that every writer needs that they never think about and no one will ever advise them on. Well today I will share with you those secret things that only the most experienced and dedicated writers know about and like to keep to themselves. But don’t tell anyone or my life will be endangered. And with that I give to you the first secret need:
A Fluffy Butt Cushion
All serious writers must use one of these. Have you ever noticed that groove that forms on your middle finger from writing for so many years, I call it my writer’s mark? That comes from the wearing away of tissue from all that writing. Well imagine what all that writing is doing to your butt. For some of us that might be a good thing, but for others . . . well I can tell you there are some that need to hang onto what the good Lord gave them or they’ll fall right through the potty seat.
Clock With Multiple Alarm Settings
Those writers who make words their lives forget about everything else. Now enters the need to schedule everything and set an alarm to it.
• Potty breaks
• Taking a drink of water
• Bathing—If not, then skip the next three
• Wedding day—if you actually remember to go on a date
• Dates—Otherwise don’t worry about the previous three
If you are a serious writer then you will also need a portable alarm set for appropriate lengths of time after the Potty Break and Date breaks, and possibly the Wedding Day . . . Honeymoons do not require alarms, as long as they are not over 48 hours long.
See-Through Shower Door
With your imagination you will never come out of the shower for fear of what is on the other side of the curtain.
You’re a writer, you know why you need this and where you need this, and I’m not talking about geographical location. Men admit it you have Butt Sweats, get the Shamwow. Women . . . I read about . . . Chest(?) Sweats today. (Sorry I just could not type the other word.) (Why is it warm in here now? Should I include a fan on this list?)
These are just in case either; a) the alarm clock does not work, or b) you ignore the alarm clock when it alerts you to shower time. If the Canary dies, it’s time for a shower. Miners used these things for a reason.
As a writer you’ll need someone who will love you no matter what. Cats are too smart and independent to love you just because you offer them a three day old piece of left out pizza. Plus if you smell like roadkill they will NOT come near you. A dog will still think you are the greatest thing ever since . . . that piece of pizza. Then of course they will intentionally lick your face lovingly after licking their butt. Dogs are sneaky little guys.
Why? You need an alarm to tell
you to go Potty and have Sex
and you are asking why
See Previous Need.
If you are making lists of crazy things such a Canaries and Butt Sweat towels then you really need more ideas to write about.
Thus ends THIS list of the 10 Things Every Writer Needs But Never Thinks About. Keep them secret and take them to heart.
Ronovan “Fluffy Cushion” Writes
(I don’t need the cushion. Just saying.)
© Copyright-All rights reserved-RonovanWrites.wordpress.com-June 18, 2014.
Do you just click like or do you follow through to view?
“Do you love me, do you wanna be my friend?
And if you do
Well then don’t be afraid to take me by the hand
If you want to
I think this is how love goes, check yes or no”
Those are the words of a popular country song by the King of Country and Western music in the United States, George
Strait. What does that have to do with blogging? At least you asked.
If you are like me you ‘Follow’ a lot of blogs. Some of you get emails as updates and some sign up for accounts and have what are called ‘Readers’ that show when a new article comes out by who we ‘Follow’.
You can click and go to the site and read it, or sometimes you can view the entire offering in the ‘Reader’ or email. See any problems yet? I didn’t think so.
Well to turn the song around a bit:
Do you view me, or do you wanna be my fan?
And if you do
Well then don’t be afraid to follow to the site
If you want to
I think this is how views know, click view or no
I follow all the way to the site, even if I can see all of the offering of the author on my reader. Why? Because it gives the author an idea of how many actual views are occurring.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I love the ‘likes’. But I also really want to KNOW viewers are viewing what I’ve created. If you’re not a person who has a blog you may not realize we can see how many views or maybe hits our site has each day. Some people thrive on increasing their views and that is understandable because we all want our material to be seen. Some see the views as support of their efforts.
I know sometimes a few lines fits on the reader page or you see a blurb and you just know you will like it or even you have a favorite blog site that never fails you, but what do you want personally? Do you want people to read what you put out there or just click like and ignore it?
Are you a fan or a supporter? Do you like everything your blogger puts out or do you go and check it out and really look at it?
The problem here is time. The blogging community tries to be supportive but also must work on content. If all it does was read all the blogs, then there would rarely be any new content put out. In a way I understand the ‘like’ clicking method. You know you will like it, it’s just you don’t have the time.
This in a way goes along with another article I recently viewed that prompted me to actually finish this one. It’s called ‘The ‘Like’ Button: Enabler of the inactive participant or Advocate of the introverted blogger?’ by Neha at Forgotten Meadows. I encourage you to read it.
Do you just click like as a fan or do you follow through as a view?
© Copyright-All rights reserved-RonovanWrites.wordpress.com-May29, 2014