Ronovan Writes’ Week 102 #Haiku #Review with #Links.

Annette of Annette Rochelle Aben-Um, Anette with pom poms? Why did I never think of that one before? You would have thought that would have crossed my mind at least once . . . at least.

Judy of Edwina’s Episodes-Beauties in a Row shows off more than Judy’s talent but her other assets, although perhaps not her most, um, admirable ones. (Did I say that?)

Jane of Jane Dougherty Writes-I think Jane’s making commentary on my day of birth. She doesn’t know the half of it. Muahahahaha. Birthing Pains Triumphant.

Veronica of Charlottesville Winter-Deep, seriously. A short story in three lines, just the way it should be. Excellent. Closed Doors on My Birthday.

TJ of La vie est trop courte pour boire du mauvais vin-Spring Riot. Amazing photo here and perfect for the title and haiku.

Xenia of WhippetWisdom-A thinky piece, at least to me. Two Whippet’s joyous down by the sea. Summer Blessings.

Wendy of The Dragon’s Lair-Miracle of Miracles, doth the darling one speak.

Mira of To Wear a Rainbow-I’ve been reading and watching documentaries lately. It’s a thing I do. Hate because I love history. The recent object of choice seems to run right along with Glory and Cheer by Mira.

Mira of They, You, and Me-Ah, I didn’t know I could reach that far. I’m blushing. Tender Touch.

Ken of RIVRVLogr-Interesting haiku. That first line has me thinking along three different ideas for the Haiku. Spring Unfolds.

Bill of Engleson.ca-Dude, really? I wonder what the numbers are. Hmm. Balance.

Debra of D.B. Mauldin-Summer Solstice. Imagine, my birthday is the first day.

Frances of imanikingblog-Welcome to Our World! Ha, if only they could speak words we understood.

Peter of Wherever I lay my pen, that’s my home-Birth Cheer. You know, I think you’re right. It does make people feel like that. You would almost think the opposite.

Ritu of But I Smile Anyway-All About Me! Yes, Ritu devoted two haiku to me. Sigh, I am so adorable it hurts sometimes.

FloridaBorne of Two On A Rant-Night’s End. OOOoOOoooo dark and spooky. Kinda sorta.

Tessa of Always A Writer-Too Easy, Get Ready! Birth is the title of Tessa’s haiku. Oh, how new moms have probably said these words then regretted it.

Leara of LearaWrites-Tourist’s Treat. Party TIME!!!!!!! Beach Blanket BINGO!!!!!

Pat of Thoughts and Entanglements-Color Codes. I know Pat is wondering what in the world I’m doing coming up with that title, but codes signify things, as this haiku content signifies something. So there. Hrmph.

Marie of The Syllabub Sea-Carry On. Yep, another weirdo title from me, but I gots to do what I gots to do. They make sense to me.

Ruby of Whispering Thoughts-Preggo Pause. O,o Don’t I just make you wonder sometimes? Yes, I am that kind of mood during this round of reviewing. Lucky you guys, right?

Sandra of Wild Daffodil-Heat. Diamonds Are a Girl’s Best Friend.

Khor of Project Prose-Wonder of Life. A new one can make things like new again.

Janice of Ontheland-Summer’s birthday celebration. Even nature knew to celebrate my birthday.

Denis of Haiku Hound-Banksia Blooming. Interesting looking specimen.

Diedre of Toward the Within-Fragile Brevity. Okay, having to think too much. Brain . . . splitting . . . in . . .  two. Must . . . eject . . .

Jacqueline of A Cooking Pot and Twistedtales-Hip, hip, hurray. I had nothing to do with the twins. Just saying.

R. Todd of A Flash of Fiction-At Birth. Such violence in this one. ABUSE!!!!! You know, I’m surprised this hasn’t been an issue.

Colleen of SilverThreading-Astrological Grudges. Okay, haven’t even headed over yet and I’m scared. Hmm, interesting.

Louise of Fantasy Raconteur-Birth of a Star. Hmm, I could go weird and mention the Voice or America’s Got Talent, but I won’t. 😀 Muahahahahaha.

Janice of Ontheland has another one-Light bulb flash. Ha, okay so the haiku is the same as the title. Sort of. Funny!

Scott of The House of Bailey-Life and Death. He has a warning label on this one and promises to write more cheefuller next time.

OBA of The king’soracle-New birth cheers. Okay, so I was going to be funny then I read the second poem. Hrmph. She had to be all nice and stuff. Hrmph.

Srivi of The Piscean Me-Begin to End… Okay, gettin’ all philosophical like here.

Oneta of Sweet aroma-Let Her Soar. Monkey cheerleading? I guess it has to start somewhere.

Sri of Naa Prapancham-My World…-In a family. Two for two sides of the story.

Lizi of Quilted Poetry-Happy Croaking! Okay, it sounds the opposite of Birth, but it’s not.

Vashti of The Writer Next Door-Welcome. Interesting. Two images used here. Interesting.

Tolulope of Rubys Polaroid-Celebration. Cute picture with this one. So glad I’m human.

Tricia of A Creative State of  Mind-Robin’s Song. I so wish this was the song of Spring!!!!

39

Florence of Meanings And Musings-Seeking Joy. But does it really chase it? Hmm.

Melissa of The Aran Artisan-Three Cheers For Summer! I hope they aren’t bonfiring their vanities. Dear me.

Elise of Rawls E Fantasy-“War’s End” & “Trapped”. Two lovelies entered for last weeks challenge but I’m tossing them in here anyway.



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Drinking from the Carton-Father’s Day.

Well, it’s Father’s Day here in the United States. Yes, that day when men all over the country have an excuse to eat as much meat as possible, watch sports, and scratch themselves wherever and whenever they feel like it.

Normally a person takes a moment to speak about their father, but I’m not such a normal person, am I?

However, I am a father, so let’s talk about a person that should be talked about today, my boy “B”.

If you think about it, without him, I would just be a man doing all those things I mentioned at the beginning and be considered an uncouth, animal hating, pig. I thank B for giving me a reason and an excuse for all my man behavior. Picking my teeth in public is a way to keep from getting cavities, scratching deep inside my ear and then staring at the results is a health check, and drinking from the carton of milk is water conservation, energy efficient, and less labor intensive than dish washing.

All those aforementioned things are life lessons as opposed to bad manners. The real reason for writing today is to say B is the reason I live. He’s the reason I found myself wanting to wake up and keep going after my accident. He’s the reason I maintain sanity at times. He’s the reason I remain a reasonable adult when I would rather throw things and say bad words, two things I haven’t done since finding out he was on his way into this world.

I love my boy B. Children are amazing to me. I run across some that I claim as my own at times. I like to try and be an example and a good male figure in their lives. Sometimes I succeed, while other times I fail. In other words, I’m the real thing.

Love to all the children out there that make Father’s Day happen.

Ronovan

Spark the Imagination.

Inspire a child’s mind

To spark imagination,

Read a true classic.

Spark the Imagination Poem by Ronovan Hester



Ronovan Hester is an author, with a debut historical adventure novel Amber Wake: Gabriel Falling due out in February 14, 2016. He shares his life on his blog RonovanWrites.WordPress.com. His love of writing, authors and community through his online world has led to a growing Weekly Haiku Challenge, Weekly Fiction Prompt Challenge, and the creation of a site dedicated to book reviews, interviews and author resources known as LitWorldInterviews.com.

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HAS REALITY DAWNED FOR YOU?

Today may be a message you want to skip here on Ronovan Writes. It won’t be a pretty message. This is almost a rant but not really. It’s more of a self-realization and determination I’ve discovered as I witness actions in others. Now, don’t think that any of this is judging or anything like that. I’m speaking to this based on a personal level. But it’s something that almost hit me between the eyes with a clarity I’ve never seen before about the subject.

We are all alone at some point. We feel as though no one loves us and we wonder HAS REALITY DAWNED FOR YOU?why it is even worth attempting love. I’ve been there. My journals are filled with it. FILLED! I know the heavy feeling of the body when you are so low and your heart literally aches. If you’ve never felt heart ache, you’ve never been truly and desperately in need of love or been so broken because of it. Your body, your chest, your heart feels as though it is being squeezed and trying to expand out of your chest at the same time.

A mournful soul wailing in the night from some distant bedroom behind darkened windows takes on a meaning to you when reading it in a book like never before. Tears come to your eyes and you feel as though you’ve read the most beautiful thing in life.

And every moment you feel alone. There is no love for you. There is no caring, no warmth. No tender and loving touch.

The next morning you get up and hurriedly get yourself ready for the day, so you can then get your children ready for school.

You barely make it through your day, putting on fake smiles and pretend laughs only to arrive home to begin your ritual of loneliness again, once the children have gone to do their own things in their rooms.

This goes on for years. And then one day a reality dawns.

Now for me a reality dawned.

I am fortunate in many ways. You all know of my boy “B”. But you also know of my blog, my writing, my LitWorldInterviews site, and even my debut novel coming out. I have great friends that came together in my time of need for a laptop to keep my sanity and my lifeline going to all of you.

The dawning to me didn’t occur until now. It didn’t have to. It just happened. Maybe you’ve picked up on what the dawning is.

But for others they don’t realize what they have. People go through those feelings described above every day, wanting someone. For some they have children and never give a thought that they are loved, they have those people to love them, to have fun with, to enjoy life with.

People foolishly fall victim to the idea of must having a romantic partner in life to be complete. None of us are promised a partner. We have our lives, our abilities, and our imaginations.

To be happy in regards to companionship we have those around us; our family, our friends, and if we are in a situation of no longer having a partner or in that all too commonality of emotionally detached partner, then we may have children. Love those children and enjoy them. Do not be selfish and deny them your 100% enjoyment.

We don’t realize how aware children are these days. They notice everything because they are shown everything in so many forms. They know what facial expressions, body language, and even excuses really mean.

We can do a great deal of damage to our children by living and dwelling in a personal emotional space of constant want. We are the role models for our children, or we hope we are. Look at who and what you are, the space your mind is in and ask yourself if you want your child to be like that?

Yes, I know there are some with true concerns that need help, professional help, but I think most of you realize I am speaking about the rest of us who can overcome these moments and situations on our own.

You don’t need a romantic partner. That’s a myth. A very nice myth. A romance that happens is something for people who are in them. That does not mean they are in a situation that is better than a person who is not in a romance. You could probably ask a lot of people who are single again and they will tell you that they enjoy the single life a lot more. Some might say romance is better.

Love your kids, your friends, and your family. Don’t worry about romance. If it is meant to be and it happens, then that is a situation you will discover you either enjoy or not. A romance is a lot of work in order to make it a strong and lasting one. Even those that seem perfect to everyone else, they need a lot of behind the scenes work.

If you are someone waiting on someone else, even a specific someone, and that someone doesn’t seem to be waiting for you . . . think hard about enjoying what you do have. Sometimes what you have is the most precious thing you could ever have. Learn to smile and to love in you.


Ron_LWIRonovan is an author, and blogger who shares his life as an amnesiac and Chronic Pain sufferer through his blog RonovanWrites.WordPress.com. His love of poetry, authors and community through his online world has lead to a growing Weekly Haiku Challenge and the creation of a site dedicated to book reviews, interviews and author resources known as LitWorldInterviews.WordPress.com.

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Impressions-Like Sand or Cement.

I’ve been working on my Romance novel and thoughts as I lay in bed last night, attempting to go to sleep, led me to impressions. Just so all of you are aware, my brain works in odd ways and chases what some in the world call rabbits. Rabbits are something you want to see, perhaps catch, even just for a photo, but will take you far away from where you once were.

For me, rabbit chasing has always been a philosophical adventure.

As I lay there thinking about one of my characters the idea of that person’s impression on others rattled around in my head. Then I began wondering about the kinds of impressions are made.

Where I ended up next is beyond me.

Some impressions are like the impressions you see as you walk along the beach in the evening. The footsteps you travel along beside with the deep heel, shallow toes and slightly kicked up bit of packed bits of all the things that make up that sand. You think about how interesting they look, wonder who made them, how lonely they look alone in their single file. Come the next morning you return to the beach and find that after a night of sleep the impressions are gone. They have been washed away by time and by nature.

Some people are like that. They pass through your life without leaving but a momentary impression. There was nothing in the impression to stay with you. A single file of footprints in an evening beach will be seen again, and not made by the same person, on a beach far away.

Then there are the impressions in your backyard. A frame was set up—the right mixture of materials of dry to wet—smoothening of the cement—patience for the cement to set up just right—then you are brought out as a child and your feet and hands are pressed into the wet but firm cement. You are now set.

Time was taken to make that impression. Time was taken to set it firmly in place. Julius Charles Hare ImpressionsCare was taken to make certain everything was just right in order you would be a part of that world for as long as possible. There would be no overnight washing away of these prints.

I thought about impressions this morning during a conversation. The impressions we leave with our children. Those impressions are like an artist with a chisel. With each strike we leave our mark—our impression—on their minds, hearts, lives. Do we leave the impression of always being there and loving them and doing what it takes to get it ‘right’ or instead do we reinforce the impression of not caring, not being bothered to do something, thinking of ourselves first?

“The mind is like a sheet of white paper in this, that the impressions it receives the oftenest, and retains the longest, are black ones.” Julius Charles Hare

With each strike of our hammer into the chisel we set our impressions in place with our children and with those we interact with. What impression do you want to leave? Do you care what impression you leave? Have you sat back and thought about the impression you have made, are making, will leave?

This was written for my #BeWoW (Be Wonderful on Wednesday share) and for the Writer’s Quote Wednesday hosted by Colleen Chesebro of SilverThreading.Com. Click her site link if the Writer’s Quote Wednesday does not have a link in it directly to her post for the day yet. You simply ping back to her post or copy and paste your link there. You do the same with your #BeWoW posts to here if you have one. Not familiar with a ping back? Click here to find out how.

Much Respect-Much Love

Ronovan

Ron_LWIRonovan is an author, and blogger who shares his life as an amnesiac and Chronic Pain sufferer though his blog RonovanWrites.WordPress.com. His love of poetry, authors and community through his online world has lead to a growing Weekly Haiku Challenge and the creation of a site dedicated to book reviews, interviews and author resources known as LitWorldInterviews.WordPress.com.

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@RonovanWrites

 © Copyright-All rights reserved by ronovanwrites.wordpress.com 2015

Writing while young. (And any other time as well.)

I have recently begun encouraging young people to write. They should write about their now in order to later be able to write about what it was like then.

“Always write your ideas down however silly or trivial they might seem. Keep a notebook with you at all times.”

We try to recapture the feelings we had when we were a certain age or in a certain place, but we so often rarely achieve that goal. Staring at the sentences we don’t feel them. They describe everything but relay nothing of what they speak of. I believe this is the one thing that keeps writers from submitting their work and becoming published authors.

Great masterpieces have been set aside in spiral bound notebooks to collect yellowed pages and dust. All for the simple fact the writer did not feel what they wrote.

Oddly, they may have conveyed more than they realized. Even if not capturing the moment for themselves fully, to others the paint on the canvas is three dimensional with smells of the ocean and heat on their skin from the setting sun.

The problem is they have no confidence in what they have done.

“Encouraging young people to believe in themselves and find their own voice whether it’s through writing, drama or art is so important in giving young people a sense of self-worth.”

Starting early in a person’s creative life helps build a creative confidence. And I believe there is no such thing as failure in creativity. You have created something, even if not what you set out to create. How many times has what any of us begun ended up exactly as we had planned?

“It is really important that focusing on things such as spelling, punctuation, grammar and handwriting doesn’t inhibit the creative flow. When I was at school there was a huge focus on copying and testing and it put me off words and stories for years.”

Today’s education doesn’t encourage so much creativity as much as it does scores to be nations. “Our nation beat your nation.” It doesn’t matter what it is, each nation is in competition. Even our children have been drawn into it, and not for the better.

But I believe we should rid our children of a great deal of the restraints early on and give them the freedom to create. Show them how to trust who they are and what they are. Give them free rein to explore and express.

“Write because you love it and not because it is something that you think you should do. Always write about something or somebody you know about – something that you feel deeply and passionately about. Never try and force it.”

Michael Morpurgo quote image

Today’s quotes are from Michael Morpurgo, English author, poet, playwright, and librettist.

This has been part of Colleen’s, of SilverThreading, Writers’ Quote Wednesday blog share. Click the link to visit her quote for today, and join in.

Much Respect-Much Love

Ronovan



 

Ron_LWIRonovan is an author, and blogger who shares his life as an amnesiac and Chronic Pain sufferer though his blog RonovanWrites.WordPress.com. His love of poetry, authors and community through his online world has lead to a growing Weekly Haiku Challenge and the creation of a site dedicated to book reviews, interviews and author resources known as LitWorldInterviews.WordPress.com.

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@RonovanWrites

 © Copyright-All rights reserved by ronovanwrites.wordpress.com 2015

 

My Declaration of Independence from . . .

It’s a bit late in the day to be writing my Independence Day letter. I hadn’t planned on doing one, or maybe I did, I’m not really certain. But I’ve learned something over the past year or so and that is if I don’t let something out, it will keep eating at me and I can’t rest. So here it all goes.

Revolutionary WarThe Gadsden Flag from the Revolutionary war.
Nothing to do with any political group for this post purpose or ever.

My Declaration of Independence from . . .

I will no longer be strangled by heart strings. Those that I love know the one way to get to me is through the heart. Well that is over. Attempts to guilt me into things just won’t work any longer. Those that try it obviously don’t love me enough to love me as I am. And it’s not about choosing between either or.

Blog writing will be more open and honest and maybe in your face on issues. I’m tired of keeping quiet like the good little roll over Christian boy. I’ll voice my views, just as my friends do, and expect the same respect I show them in not commenting negatively about it. As everyone knows, I don’t stoop to petty bickering. And my Christian articles are well thought out and polite. They don’t attack anyone.

I love. I love hard. And I love faithfully.

I will no longer feel guilty about not remembering people. Some blog friends and real life people over the past year have disappeared from my memory not too long ago because of illness and stress. Nothing I could do about it, nothing that can be changed about it.

High maintenance, and emotionally needy people need not apply at my door. I’m a good friend, but I can only handle so much these days. I will do my best but the surest way to stress me out is to be a needy Ned or Nelly. Harsh, I know, but I’m just laying it out there. Stress will only lead to more memory problems. I already lose memories after sleeping too such as days in bed while in a Fibromyalgia Flare. I try hard to hang on to the memories I have.

These are the hard things one has to do in order to help themselves. These are the choices to have peace of mind and maybe someday peace of heart. I don’t know if that last one will ever happen because of some of those choices up there. If people I love don’t want to love me for me alone then so be it. Call me selfish if you like.

I do my best every day to bring a positive message to my blog and my world. It is much more difficult than anyone may realize. But I keep doing it every day. And I will keep doing it every day.

I’m done.

Ronovan

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5 Ways to Connect with Your Children #1000Speak

Connecting with people is something you have to work at. Okay, so it comes naturally for some people. This article is being written with the 1000 voices speak for compassioncurrent 1000 Voices for Compassion theme of Connection in mind. Oddly it goes along with something I’ve been thinking of for some time now and carries over from something I wrote previously in my Let your Kids be them and not you.

I’m not a strong connector these days, and haven’t been for the past couple of years. I was prior to that but now I am more of a recluse. That being said, there are people you can’t and shouldn’t be a recluse from—Your Children.

I look at a lot of problems today and I personally believe a lot of them could have been prevented if a good and healthy connection had been established and maintained between the parent and child. Notice I said a “good and healthy” connection.

My son goes to school before I get up in the mornings. Often times I am asleep when he comes home. Chronic Fatigue is part of my Fibromyalgia so I really have no control over when I will drop off and sleeping problems mess things up as well. Thus, when I am with my son I need to make certain there is that connection. It may be only a look or a couple of words but there needs to be something positive and building going on.

5 Ways Parents Connect To Their Children

  1. Be Less Self: I know you don’t think of yourself as begin selfish but when you consider that very often you are molding your child to be what you want them to be instead of what they should be, you are being selfish. This is in regards to utilization of talents and intellect. We should all try to mold our children into being good people, so don’t even think about going off on me about that.
  2. Listen: Children like to talk, IF they have parents that like to listen. You may not like to listen—Pretend. Listen to your child and respond to them. Acknowledge you have heard what they said. Your child will grow in confidence, social abilities and even vocabulary.
  3. Be Aware: Paying attention to your child will give you ideas and clues about their likes, dislikes, desires, goals, wishes. You will see where they thrive. I know my son. From the time he could stand and throw a ball, and I mean literally just that, he could throw a strike down the hallway to me. I knew then that baseball would be the sport he would thrive at. Did I push him to it? No. I personally wanted him to play football, but through the years I changed my mind. Knowing my son, I see that he likes to know what his assignment is, do his assigned task and still be a part of a team. Also he is not a very aggressive type physically. Football is out. Basketball? He’s tried it and it is mayhem at his age because other kids don’t do their assigned tasks on the team. But baseball? He is the starting outfielder his first year playing. I mean that as in they put him where they know a team hits to most. He is also the clean-up hitter. That means he is their power hitter. His first year playing. I also can pick out a book I know he will like. Why? Because he is like me and I’ve noticed it. He likes non-fiction books and will be watching a documentary on public television he turned to.
  4. Patient: Here is a big one. Patience is a hard thing to be at times. But if you are a screamer, a yeller, you will not connect with your child. And if you are a physical punisher to a bit of the extreme, you will definitely not connect. I know that one personally. Kids do dumb things at times. You will think your kid is mature one moment and then do something completely their age the next and it will make you so mad. Just remember their age and take deep breaths and count to a million.
  5. Affectionate: Here is another tough one, especially for a lot of men. Hug your child, no matter their age. Why? So you can teach them hugging and being affectionate is normal and a hug is a sign of love. Left on their own and without a role model, they will turn elsewhere. Hugging will turn into something not simply meant as a sign of love and affection for someone. Also words are signs of affection. Tell your child you love them. Tell them you are proud of them for random things. Or maybe say “That was awesome” to something random. Don’t reserve those words for good grades or athletic achievements.

Connecting with your child teaches them to connect with others and that takes care of a lot of things out there. You may not realize it but they are learning all those things you are doing, each of those five things I mentioned above, simply by observing what you are doing. They know you are listening, they know you are being patient.

By modeling for them these characteristics we are helping the future.

Duke-Tip-Award

 

Much Respect

Ronovan

 

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Let your kids be them and not you.

I haven’t done a Sunday Thought in a  while, in part due to a lack of energy. Okay, so it is all due to lack of energy, but today I figure why not. I’ll take a nap afterwards. 2 hours of sleep in the last 36 hours or so just doesn’t cut it.

So today I wanted to talk about something I care about a lot and that’s the encouragement of children. This won’t be a long one or a revelation one. It’s simple.

We look around today and see all the madness in America involving racial issues, violence, and all sorts of things. Some things are improving but a lot of things are worse or seem to be with the ease of reporting what’s happening now over how it was so many years ago.

I don’t tell my son to go out and treat people a certain way. In fact it rarely comes up. The only time it does is when there are bullies at school. Bullies are a bit silly when it comes to my son. If my son ever really wanted to deal with one in a physical way, the bully would be hurting for a while, but physical isn’t my boy “B”s first thought. Just like it’s never been mine. For me it may be a day later before the slow burn gets to me and I wish I had done this or that, but in truth wouldn’t have anyway.

I’m proud of what my son has accomplished this year in school. He’s one of only two kids in his grade to be recognized and accepted into an academically gifted student talent search program by one of the top universities in the country and the world. He’s 10. He said the other students looked at him kind of strange when he walked down the hall after Honor’s Day and it was announced to the school. I think maybe he just was noticing something that wasn’t there. But I told him to be proud of it.

My focus with my son is on him being him. And the beset whatever him that means. He and I share a lot of the same characteristics and interests but I consciously make an effort not to put my wishes on him. He’s turning out to be better than I was, if not a little more headstrong than I was. Stubborn? Imagine that.

I thought I would share a picture of “B” today. No, not an actual photo but my portrait from a photo taken at Honor’s Day with his ribbon showing his acceptance into the program. I missed the program. The email came out the night before at a time no one checks their email. But the school takes pictures and puts them up for all of us to see. So here you are. Now you sort of know what B looks like.

Duke-Tip-Award

Much Respect

Ronovan

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Being Positive Support for Others.

Last week I wrote about The Importance of Being You. Coming to terms with who you are, admitting it, owning it, and not ALLOWING others to deny you of being who that person is, is THE defining moment of your life. And before people go in to the odd areas, this is being you that doesn’t harm other people. Okay? Just to make that clear. I’m not up for supporting your norm if it’s to watch child pornography.

You know, I really don’t understand that one. I really don’t. I somewhat in a way understand an adult watching another adult. I think we can all at least grasp that concept. But children? Really? If that’s your norm, seek help now.

Well, I went on a bit of a tangent there, and now back on the path of whatever is about to come out of these fingertips and onto this page. Frightening, I know.

Allowing

Just as it is important that you ALLOW yourself to be you, yes, and others should ALLOW you to be you, well really you ALLOW them to keep you from being you, but just the same, YOU should not hamper others from being who THEY are meant to be.

I’ll use my son as an example. He has the potential to be anything he wants to be. I know many of us say that about our children and the reality is hogwash, but he really does. He has the intelligence, the athletic ability, musical talent, artistic talent, creativity, and even the looks to be whatever he wants to be. I mention looks in case he wants to be a Calvin Klein model someday. Disturbing as that may be. If Marky Mark can do it and become a famous actor after having assaulted a person of another ethnic background then I tell you my very loving son can do it too.

Are these my opinions? Yes and no. They are but they are also the opinions of many other objective people. But the family unit needs to ALLOW him the freedom to find his way.

I may want him to be one thing, but he may not want to do that for whatever reason. I’m cool with it. He’s 10. He’s got lots of time to determine what he wants to do with his life. I’m just here to make sure he has the support, love, and guidance to get to that moment of decision.

Perhaps another parent subtly discourages an activity by being negative about it in a way that the child doesn’t even know it’s negativity. What if that negativity is denying the world of something amazing or revolutionary? WE never know what one thing might lead in to. This career might lead to saving the world through another totally unrelated career but one that came about through some weird link that only happened because of that first career.

Supporting

I’ve learned to just let it flow. Eventually my son will find what it is he wants to do. Right now? Baseball. And to be honest, if I am to be honest with myself, that’s what he’s shown a skill for from almost birth. He’s been able to throw a strike since he could stand and throw a ball. And he throws hard. But is that all?

He is great at many things. No one thing is likely to be your defining thing. No one thing will be his. He’s at that stage now where he is wanting to fit in and I am trying as best I can to guide him to keep looking around at everything he is interested in.

He hates being called one of the smartest kids in his grade by the other kids. Now that he plays sports things are calming a bit, but he is letting his grades just get the A grade instead of that high A where it should be. He’s in the Fourth Grade. I’m not going to throw a fit unless he just intentionally tanks something that makes no sense. I’m not letting that off the hook.

But I don’t allow my idea of what I THINK he should be or could be interfere with what he may WANT to be or SHOULD be. And I don’t let MY OWN self abilities and who I AM dictate who he is to be.

Lest We Forget

That’s one thing I think some people forget. Just because we want to be who we are and want to be doesn’t mean we are to interfere with what someone else wants to be, even if that happens to be something that may challenge our own desires.

As we want others to be not interfere with our positive environment we should contribute to their having one. We should be encouraging and motivational whenever possible. But don’t be over the top. That’s the key though. When is over the top? Perhaps that will be next week.

If you would like to read a companion article to this I wrote as a guest blog a couple of days go on the blog Meanings and Musing. The blog of Florence Thum an attorney and therapist out of Sydney, Australia, click Do you Know an Anthem Writer of the Next Generation?

How are you encouraging and positive in someone’s life?

How do you be encouraging without sending the wrong message of being more than just interested in encouragement?

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Patience in Everything.

There are a lot of things you cannot be taught in life. Okay, so that is an opinion of mine. I don’t think you can be taught talent. The talent that you have can be brought out of you, but if you don’t have that ability in you to begin with then you cannot eventually do it simply by someone showing you how.

You may be taught Algebra, but when you leave the classroom it is gone. You must constantly study it in order to pass the test.

There is one thing you can be taught.

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.~Philippians 4:4-7

Patience can be taught. I recently had a conversation with a lady about how when writing a book you needed to be patient. You want to rush that book to an agent, a publisher or self-publish, but the truth is you need to be patient. You need to allow for that work to grow and mature. take your time to find everything that needs your attention. I compared it to raising a child.

You would not want your child to be set before the world weak because you did not have the patience to feed it properly because it didn’t want to eat what it needed. You would not put your child out there without the best you could give it. Even if that best is not as good as what someone else has it still is as good as they have. Keep that in mind. Your best is all you can do, therefore it is just as good as what anyone else does as their best.

We need patience in all parts of our lives. Especially with children. Our children are like little adults to us at times. We know how smart they are. We know what they know and are capable of. Then they do something that is, well frankly is very much a 6 year old thing to do.

One thing to remember, above all else about your child, is they are the age they are for a reason. They are growing and maturing and no matter what WE think they can do, they are still children.

Friendships are the same way, relationships as well. Both are children that we know what they are capable of but with our being slowly developing them, we need to remember that in a relationship or friendship that is only two weeks old, there are going to be things that are going to be trying to us.

You know what your moods are. Your relationship person does not. You have to learn and you need to be patient.

Books, children, relationships, even your own new found hobbies all require patience. Maturity may never happen in some situations, but sometimes they won’t and weren’t meant to. Be patient and accept that relationship for what it is. And if your book doesn’t mature, be mature enough to recognize it and move on to another one until YOU are mature enough to come back to it and nurture it along to becoming that mature published novel.

much-respect-ronovan

 

 

 

Ron_LWI

 

 

 

 

 

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Time For Innocence

time for innocence christmas haiku image

 

Time For Innocence,

This Season we are now in,

Gives our Life Meaning.

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Fight for that Mirror.

A mirror sounding
All too familiar to you
But this time you shout no
A shatter will not do

 

This time you are stronger
As you look at the tiny you
You understand what is happening
Unlike what happened to you

 

Nurturing and care to be given
To grow something amazing
Working and fighting
To keep those small eyes from glazing

 

The future is unlimited
For this little view
That mirror you heard
Will not shatter like you

 

Don’t back down
From those snotty uptights
This is your child
Stand up for their rights

 

Ronovan

Ron_LWI

 

 

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My Boy ‘B’ and the ‘Safe Room’.

My boy ‘B’ was hysterical yesterday morning.

You know, kids are the greatest things ever when you have them. Not everyone has them, you know. So really I can’t say they are the greatest thing ever for everyone. For me they are.

Imagine alarms going off and you’re 10 years old and being rushed into a safe room.  Yes, a ‘safe room’. And you are 10 and you know it is called a ‘safe room’. ‘B’ is smart. I’ve mentioned that before. Now when I say smart, I don’t just mean the kind that every parent talks. The boy is actually gifted. Freaky smart. He does math in his head in a way that just freaks me out. He tries to explain it and I just stare at him and nod.

He had a teacher that said never try to fix what isn’t broken. He has a gift for it so leave him alone. No problem there, dudette.

But you know what? He’s 10 years old. We forget how our kids are kids these days. They are pushed to be older. People say, “You can’t protect them forever, you have to let them grow up sometime.” or “They can’t watch Public Television forever.”

Pardon me as I revert to a full blown parental mode for a moment. “Shut up, you freakin’ jerks!”

I’m better now. Can you believe I was told that I should let my, what, maybe 4 year old watch shows with guns in it, like violent cartoons and play with toy guns? That he had to learn sometime about guns? That is when my calmer Dad side came out, “When he is old enough to know the difference between real guns and toy guns, one that kills and one that looks real but squirts water, then he might play with toy guns or watch TV shows with a touch more animated violence.” The conversation ended there. It was made clear that parenting of my son was my business.

Do you want to know what ‘B’ watches on his own? He watches Public Television, yes the cartoons, because they are educational. Yes, he likes to learn about animals and dinosaurs and books. And guess what? He likes to watch This Old House and Antiques Road Show. I will walk through the room and he’s watching them discuss  a Civil War rifle and he starts telling me about it.

A child is a parent’s life. At least until they leave the house after graduating. At that point, so long, don’t come asking for money, and keep your laundry to yourself.

But at the age of 10 and 45 minutes from you, in a ‘safe room’ with alarms constantly sounding? The child is your life.

Yesterday . . . here, I was mostly fine . . . in this location. My son however ended up right in the line of fire . . . of a Tornado. Fortunately he got there before the bottom fell out of the sky.  Actually the bottom fell out before he got there but was close enough.

Of course my day was spent watching the weather maps. Checking for what it was like when it was time for him to leave. He left his school about 20 minutes before another Tornado came through. Fortunately he was picked up about 30 minutes early.

Why am I telling you all of this? Well this is my blog, and this is where I share things. I used to keep all of this inside so he wouldn’t see the worry, and I still do. You see I am the calm one. I am the one that doesn’t make a big deal out of things. How that is, I have no idea? But apparently I have this thing with kids, even though I never really liked them much. Unless you are a child that I call my own, I tend not to really like you much. No, that’s not quite right. I simply do not seek out your attention.

So what happens? I am like that person that can’t stand cats who visits a person with a cat. The cat can tell something is not right. It knows you are paying it extra attention for some reason so it decides to give you extra attention.

When I would be in a classroom of 1rst grade students, if I sat down there would be one in my lap in seconds. Now I love little girls. What man does not want a little Daddy’s girl? But that’s a big uh uh. So here I am, Fibromyalgia and Osteoarthritis, not knowing any of that yet, and having to stand for 8 hours.

Yes, I look like a big red teddy bear.

So I have rambled a bit longer than I intended, not that I intended to ramble. And now I am at the end.

Kids are great. When you get mad at your kid, and you know you will, think of ‘safe room’ and your child being led away to a ‘safe room’. Then decide if you are still mad.

 

Much Respect

ron_full_river - cropped

 

 

 

 

Ronovan

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Overprotective or Just Aware of Reality

Should you worry about your children getting hurt? Do I?

I know it will happen. Heaven knows my son comes home with things all the time. One day he even came home after some older kid hit him in the face with a base from the baseball field. Kid just picked it up and slammed ‘B’ in the face.

The kid was fortunate. You see the kid is a little taller, but ‘B’ is one strong kid, and his first instinct is not to come out swinging . . . yet. His first thought is, “Why in the world did you do that, you idiot?” He has a reputation that is such the other kid was in serious trouble even though no teacher saw it. Yeah, it’s a school where a teacher has to witness things, but not this time. It was a bit obvious what had happened, and my son isn’t known to be a liar about things like this. He actually never complains.

Am I overprotective?

I’m the kind of dad that says to his 10 year old son, okay he was 9 at the time, “Okay, get on your bike and ride as fast as you can off the end of the porch.” I figure if he falls, he’ll be fine and he’ll see it is just a fall. Okay, so it isn’t but like a foot off the ground, but he thought it was like huge. He was always worried about falling on his bike because of the whole protective mother thing. Having been a boy and knowing that even running into a tree with my bike didn’t kill me, I am of the mind to let the boy go and fall and get back up and have fun. In fact they have more fun then because they can take a little more of a chance knowing that a fall is just a fall. This past summer was great for ‘B’. Bikes, chopping through vines to clear away Grandma’s hedges, climbing ladders. Oh, the ladder? I’ll get to that ladder, I mean later. (Anyone want to shuck some corn, cause I got lots more where that came from.)

So what’s my deal with ‘B’ and football?

I put out an article yesterday about my son not playing football and included information about concussions and a certain football team and the actions of the coach and trainers. Well, here is the problem I have with the way football is, it’s the coaching and the staff I have a problem with. I got hurt playing football, baseball, and basketball. I got hurt riding my skateboard. I got hurt picking a book up off my bed. Okay so that last one was in my 30s, I think, and I already had back problems, but you get where I am coming from here.

Hurts happen, but there are degrees of things that can be avoided if a coaching staff does their job properly. The quarterback should not have been allowed to continue the game. He was in a condition where he could have been hit again and permanently damaged. That’s the problem I have. A fully aware quarterback has a difficult enough time as it is avoiding 300 pound monsters, a badly shaken up, glassy eyed one could end up in the hospital.

Concussion

My college football team is UGA, The University of Georgia Bulldogs. Last year we had a great quarterback, broke all kinds of records. What did he do to end his time at UGA as a member of the team with no more than like 3 games left? He tore an ACL and didn’t leave the game. He kept playing one or two more plays. That wasn’t the coaching staff  because all he did was limp. The quarterback had this mindset that can come into play in some competitive sports. UGA isn’t one of those ‘push the player while they are hurt’ schools. I’ve taught the Head Coach’s kids. My son interacts with another coach’s kids. In other words I know the products of the people behind the scenes.

Am I overprotective?

I don’t mind my son getting hurt. It happens. I even let him climb a ladder to get his ball off the edge of the roof, of course with me below him and holding him. He thought that was the coolest thing ever. And yeah, I had to stop him from trying to climb on the roof. He’s crazy like that at times. And he has learned to hit the brakes on his bike and slide it around, he calls it drifting. Thank you The Fast and The Furious. Wait, he hasn’t seen that. Maybe it was Cars. Disney us evil. I am the one the encourages taking the calculated risks.

So, am I overprotective?

I am a ‘protect my child from a bad situation if I can help it’ dad. I have a great kid who has obviously been brought up nicely. Great grades, very courteous and respectful to his teachers, knows reality versus fake, and is just really very mature in many ways and also very much a kid in many ways. He can play for hours with various toys he has. Awesome kid, so I guess something is being done right. I am most proud of him at church during his Sunday School class or when they have children’s time during service he stays quiet, letting everyone else have a chance. Then either one of two things happens, if no one is giving a right answer the person will then look at ‘B’ and say, “Tell us, ‘B’.” And he gives the answer. Or if time is running short they will just go straight to him.

Are other sports safer?

I was going to mention other sports yesterday but instead I stuck with football to make the article short and to the point. A little league kid was hit in the chest with a fast ball pitch while up to bat. The pitch hit right over his heart and stopped it. He died. Pitches also have line drives hit back at them to the head. Basketball has ACL problems, broken noses, and all sorts of things going on. Golfing has back problems and shoulder problems. A man died in a short dirt track race not long ago when he was run over. He had been smoking marijuana prior to the race and then got out of his car to confront the other racer who was actually still driving around the track. Another driver’s father died several years ago in a crash. Divers hit there heads on the side of the pool or the bottom or even the platforms or boards.

I could go on and on but I think you see that I know about other sports.

One of my favorites sports I played in college was racquet ball. I don’t know if you’ve ever played the game but it is not an easy sport. There are these things called walls that tend to want to stop a body running stupidly after a bouncing rubber ball.

Oh and I have to tell you this one, it’s funny, in a way, but maybe it explains a few things about me. I guess I was in High ron_ballpark - CopySchool when this happened or just after. I went golfing with my Dad. He was showing me aTiger Woods few things and said, “Stand right there and watch what I do.” He actually put me in a spot to watch from. Either his arms were longer or his club was longer than he thought. His follow through ended up with the flat part of the club, fortunately it was a driver, square in the center of my forehead. We could not have rehearsed it better. I simply gave it no thought, although he freaked out big time. I think mostly because he was afraid I was gonna tell my Momma on him. (Tiger can’t believe my Dad did that to me.)

 

 

My son starts basketball in a few weeks, and then baseball in the spring.

 

So my question to you is this:

Am I overprotective or just taking into consideration what things are like for real?

 

Ronovan

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Waking up and Recognizing

Waking up and Recognizing

by: Lost Mind

Sunglasses  Dark

What things are on this Lost Mind of mine

People focusing on a cinema and a dime

This world has gone total whack crazy

While lives die greater in numbers than F-bombs in a picture by Scorsese

 

We’re petty and selfish in ways we don’ t know

Don’t blame yourself for our ignorance though

Don’t get and angry with me for saying it

It’s just a thing that we all need to change and recommit

 

Did you buy a soft drink for 1.69

Did you stop on the way home for a fast food dine

While there is food in your house and a drink

I do it to, all that money and the good with it I don’t think

 

But it’s not all about the paper and the jangling discs

It’s about the deep and the core within our midst

No matter what you give in the way of the wealth

If you don’t change your heart death won’t come from lack of health

 

Dig a little deeper way down go where you hide

Go past the hole forming in the pocket on the right side

Take a u-turn and head back upright

Then squeeze that blind heart real real tight

 

When you finally feel the pain and the ache

And the agony is way way more than you can take

That feeling is the day to day fate

For those people to the world just don’t rate

 

We enjoy or luxurious compared lives

While girls are being taken by gun and knives

We enjoy our milk shakes and our Big Macs

While kids hide in mountains waiting for another rocket attack

 

Hey–you–yeah, the one looking at porn

There are babies that will die as soon as they’re born

While you HD and stream and grip your sex addiction online

Those babies grip a finger for their only time

 

Have I been preaching during this diatribe

I don’t know, do you feel so sick like you are poisoned by cyanide

I’m just here to share what thoughts seem to flow

Don’t like it, then just tell me to blow

 

After I wrote this another blogger friend of mind commented that apparently we were in the same mind set today. Take a look at Turn it Off if You Want to by joatmon 14.

 

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Stone Heart

Tender faced tears end,

With drying fists of anger,

You make stone walled hearts.

gettyimages © Original Photo by studioscape

 

 

 

 

 

Stone Heart

by: Ronovan

 

 

 

 

 

 

Image Credit: gettyimages © Original Photo by studioscape

© Copyright-All rights reserved-RonovanWrites.wordpress.com-July 02, 2014.

Pesky Passengers!

Amanda at Inside The Life of Moi rants better than anyone I know. Why? Because there is truth in her humorous rants. I ran across this one just now and I am still cringing and laughing from the awful truth of it.
@AmandaLyle86