Stressed out

A good post to live by.

MEANINGS AND MUSINGS

Well I have been a little, and though my intellect, my mind tells me to chill, sometimes the emotions and the body react. I hope I am not alone when I say it is so easy, rather unthinkingly to take the stressed out emotions out on someone else.

That can happen, don’t flay yourself over it. I now watch this with a certain curiosity of ‘why’ and ‘how’. The intention is to pay attention to the triggers, to catch them before the emotions erupt, before relationships become strained, friendships threatened. And sometimes it may be simpler to identify our body’s reaction before recognizing our emotions, like the tense shoulders, the trembling heart, the shaking hands, the jiggling feet… so many of our emotions manifesting in our body if only we would ‘listen’. What does your body do when there is sadness, anger, fear… Perhaps the next time you feel compelled…

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Be still … know … breathe.

I’m tired. It’s been a long year in many ways. Many years ago, I went through a phase like this. At that time, I had a good support system in place. I was heavily involved in ministry. The type ministry and how many types don’t matter.

One night there was a gathering of the church leadership for prayer. We divided into small groups in the sanctuary, and within the group, each one of us had to pray for another person, and pray specifically. My partner was the youth minister and worship leader I had help bring to the church.

My problem was I didn’t know how to say no. I was the young and willing man in the church as well as business. In church if you are in your 30s your consider one of the young folk, that can even extend into the 40s. This inability to say no and wanting to help ended up with a very frazzled and sick Ronovan.

The youth minister prayed for peace to come into my life. The next week I was leading the youth on a concert trip to see Steven Curtis Chapman, arguably the king of contemporary Christian music. He sang a song that night, and I knew it was no coincidence.

Ever sense that night, one of my life verses has been Psalm 46:10

He says, “Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth.”

We forget sometimes and worry about things way beyond our control. Stress hits us from every angle. Do you ever think, after the fact, of how insane some of the things we worried about were? Life is too short to worry about everything. What the Psalmist means is to remember God is in control of the ultimate outcome of the world. Bad things happen because of bad people and being in the wrong places at the wrong time. Put your eternal life in his hands. Nothing can take you from the hand of God once you give yourself to Him. When you pass own, you are with God. Nothing here on earth can stop that. Hurt me, harass me, do all types of damage to me, and I will still end up fine because I know God has me.

I may stress for a moment, but then I center myself, shake the stress off, and get back to my core.

John 16:33 Jesus speaks to the disciples.

 “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

Jesus never said life would be easy here on earth. He never said that to his disciples or anyone that ever heard him speak. He said the exact opposite. Christians would be persecuted because of him. “Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me.” Matthew 5:11. As part of the beatitudes from the Sermon on the Mount, you know it must be serious.

Philippians 4:6-7

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

I try to take away something good with every situation. My son and I were throwing the baseball a couple of weeks ago, as I am sure some of you saw the picture. Man did it get bad. I never got upset. I thought it was funny. I even looked at it as a learning experience I could use for my writing. I never had a black eye before. I now knew the pain of it, the coloring, and all of the things that goes with having a black eye.

My lack of stress helped with my son handling it as well.

Working on a positivity habit is tough sometimes. Habits take time to acquire. Eventually they take. I’m almost back in my zone now, and can breathe again. Now for the creativity to start up and have fun.

I don’t often speak about my faith here on the site lately. Life’s been busy. I do try to live my faith through what I do on my site. My faith is important to me. It’s important in every aspect of my work I do. Even in books I either plan to or have published, my goal is and was to put out something that has a core to it that will show the humanness of people and the war they wage with life and how sometimes they can’t win alone but need upbringing they have had, lessons they have learned, to turn to that will help them succeed.

Have a great Sunday, week, month, year, life, and eternity.

Ronovan

© Copyright-All rights reserved by ronovanwrites.wordpress.com 2016

#100WordWisdom Haters Gonna Hate.

Haters are going to hate no matter what, sometimes they just spin their tales in an attempt to make you look bad. I found that out recently. As I fumed for a few minutes I slowly let it go, made sure their attempts were futile and carried on with my positively motivational positive day.

Not every day will be pain free of pain in the necks showing up. Having lived with it for so long I know to deal with it and move on. I had to deal with it quickly because of my son. We’re having a good day.

Much Love, Success, and Respect

Ronovan

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Smiles are medicine and more.

How often do you hear the phrase “live life like it’s your last day on earth” as a motivational gimmick?

Um, yeah, that sure motivates me. Think I’ll go write that book I always wanted to, or go and get married and have a kid. People have different reasons for using that expression above but hopefully you’ll never read those words from me as a way to attempt to get you to do something.

Instead, I want you to live each day to be the best possible person you can be on that day of your life. Today, smile at people—it freaks them out. Here in the South we expect smiles. It’s a cultural thing. A “nod and a smile” is what I’ve called it in the past. No, we’re not flirting, we’re saying you’re good, we’re good, just don’t either of us mess it up. It doesn’t matter who you are, what you look like, or what economic level you are “a nod and a smile” is expected.

I imagine there are things like that all over the world. Maybe in some places a nod and a smile is the equivalent of “let’s throw down and kick some hind parts”. When you wake up each day do so with the plan to nod and smile to some people you meet. No, I’m not giving you a number of people. That’s self-help mumbo jumbo and although I like to help people, I avoid things like that as much as possible.

You can’t help but feel something good when you smile. There is something scientific about it. Smiling actually releases dopamine.

“Dopamine is a neurotransmitter that helps control the brain’s reward and pleasure centers. Dopamine also helps regulate movement and emotional responses, and it enables us not only to see rewards, but to take action to move toward them. Dopamine deficiency results in Parkinson’s Disease, and people with low dopamine activity may be more prone to addiction. The presence of a certain kind of dopamine receptor is also associated with sensation-seeking people, more commonly known as “risk takers.”~Psychology Today

Not only will you increase your social network and reputation as a nice person but you will be making yourself healthier as well. I watched a Ted Talk not like ago which stated one smile is like eating 1000 bars of chocolate. Give a smile a try right now, a big one and notice that feeling you get. There is a change. Crazy as it seems, smiles are medicine and more.

Much Love, Success, and Respect

Ronovan

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© Copyright-All rights reserved by ronovanwrites.wordpress.com 2015

Blog Tip: Be A Free Blogger or Go Super Nova.

Caught in a trap. Can’t walk out. Cause I . . .  wait, um, let me start this again.

What is a Free Blogger?

We’ll get there, if I remember.

Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you can’t walk away from something because of responsibilities? I’m not talking about relationships, but you can probably take this along that same line.

When you have been blogging for a period of time something will happen. That something is called inspiration. You will develop these ideas, then–there you are—commitment.

You get these ideas that would make great blogs, great community building ventures. You see a support blog that NEEDS to be created.

These things are all well and good, whatever that means, but count to a million aloud and then see if it still sounds good. If it does, hold your breath to the count of a million.

The great authors and creators of the world do something I find interesting. When an idea comes to them, they don’t write it down. If in six months the idea is still with them, they go with it, if not then it wasn’t that great of an idea.

If you spread yourself too thin you become just that—thin. Your blog content becomes weak and your ability to connect with people suffers. I’ve been fortunate that in my one main inspired venture, Lit World Interviews (LWI) has a team taking up my slack. You see, I love authors. I mean LOVE them. I am one, and I know the agony of feeling you are alone and searching for help. Thus LWI was created and now a sister blog Authors Supporting Authors (ASA).

LWI runs because of that team, not because of me. I don’t even need to exist for it to be there. And it is a way for the Team members to have another outlet and help people once a week. ASA runs when people tell me they have a need. I just realized that as I wrote it. I had felt badly about how slowly ASA is moving. It has a good number of followers for such a young blog, but the activity is not that great. And now I am fine with it.

But the problem comes when you commit to an endeavor that takes you away from the love of what brought you to blogging. One thing to always ask yourself—if you don’t love blogging, then why are you still here? That means if you are doing all these different things and are feeling pressures you are now doing a job, and part of blogging is to get away from pressures. I know some do blogging as a job or to build a platform but that is a bit different.

One thing about LWI is that it’s a volunteer thing. The members write when they like to write. Two of them have somewhat of a schedule they keep. I’ve given them days that are theirs. That means only they can post on those days unless I have something that needs to go out. But no other team member can post on those days. But if they don’t post, they don’t post. If they don’t post, I worry, but I’m not concerned about there being no post, just the fact they always do and I am worried something is wrong.

Having so many blogs going on, and guest posts to do will cause a major problem. That problem is you find you don’t have the mental energy and at times the physical energy to do things on your personal blog that you want to do. I’m into cartooning a bit now. It takes a lot out of me physically in many ways. I feel guilty because of commitments I’ve made in other areas, and that is part of the strain on me mentally. And no, if certain people are reading this I’ve agreed to guest post for, I don’t mean those guest posts.

Be a free blogger.

That means:

  • Don’t get tied down to anything in blogging that will take away from the release blogging gives you.
  • If you want to do something like LWI or ASA, become part of something that exists already.
  • Groups are a great thing. The more you have the less each person has to do.
  • The less each of you have to do the more you can do on your own blog and still have that sense of helping in something else.

You are thinking that you like to control things or you want it done your way.

  • Start in a group.
  • Learn.
  • Discover if you do want to do this for the long haul.
  • If so, then do one of your own.

Excitement is great in blogging, but you want to keep that excitement. One sure way to lose it is to use it up like a super nova.
Much Respect

Ronovan

© Copyright-All rights reserved by ronovanwrites.wordpress.com 2015

Amnesia. I’m a faker, but I’m me.

Today I need to speak about something. Amnesia. I”m a faker. You read my blog and all I say. You think how I write everything and link things together, how I know so much about blogging and my life.

I’m a faker.

I study, and have routines.

People think of me as being well. How Ronovan is not sick any longer.

I am a master faker.

What you read in this blog are the words of a man who repeats his life daily. I eat the same meals daily. I have medicines laid out in small cups with time labels with them as a reminder when to take them daily.

Then the 70 year old mother in-law must remind to take them.

People have read some of my recent series on comic books with memories I have and don’t realize those are memories I have been told only hours earlier. Fortunately memories having been shared previously with other people in my life, even my 10 year old son. Apparently I talked with him a great deal about comic books, or else he listened well.

But I’m a faker.

I went to my parents this past Saturday. I know this. I don’t remember what happened.

Amnesia and short term memory problems are not fun. Add to that Fibromyalgia and Fibro fog. Think of having blank spots of decades. Think of not having memories to share of experiences. Think of having people who obviously care but you no longer know them.

Think of the stress on the mind and body as one tries to remember and can’t and people don’t understand. Think of wanting to retreat into a world that only you exist in and be alone forever.

I’m a faker.

I am selfish.

My focus has become me, when apparently it once was everyone else. I leave the house once every two months or so. I walk out the door perhaps four. I look at my cat Spunky through the door as the woman I call Grandma feeds him and his family and he loves on her.

I have become afraid of any illness. I don’t want to return to the hospital.

I write books. I know this because I am reminded of it. It is a daily part of what I do. Routine. I have a writing partnership. I enjoy writing, it allows me to create worlds and people and not worry about reality or lost realities.

I don’t have to worry about disappointing, hurting or causing people to hate me because of my not remembering. Imagine having people in your life, nice people, but people who make your brain feel as though it were being compressed and about to pop at the same time.

Now combine that with the guilt of knowing it must be your fault. Then the physical ill that occurs. The mass confusion that begins and creates these storms of what to do, what to do. Now you cannot sleep but two or three hours a day. Eating is something that you think you did. You realize that noise in your stomach must mean you are hungry.

Imagine all of the storms together and for a moment you wonder what hungry is. You know what it is but for a moment you forget.

You make a decision to try and help yourself be well, to be at the least a little better, to stop the confusion storms and pains. The migraine spikes and sleeplessness might end. Then, you are . . .

What are you?

You spent days and days agonizing over decisions.

People don’t understand memory problems. It is an almost surreal thing. I don’t understand it and I live it. At least I think i do. My world is one being formed anew and quite often it seems built on loss.

I never intend to cause problems, pain, disappointments, heartbreak, heartache. However, it seems as though when I am honest I am a disaster creator. I feel hated at times. People don’t understand that I just don’t know.

And they don’t understand that I understand how they just don’t know how I don’t know any longer. Is it easy for me to tell people, “I don’t know you”? To finally come out and try to worry about me?

I’m sitting here now after having done that and now feeling a need to relieve myself of the breakfast I had to take with my first cup of medicines for the day, yes, a cup of pills. I can’t lose them. If I get sick, the pills are gone.

I’m stressing to the max, as some might say. Do I let guilt of something I don’t know force me to lie? Or do I keep trying to be healthy and try to mend?

You see, I try to be an encourager to a lot of people. It’s not something I do on purpose, but I share and it just has happened. Sure, I love it. It’s part of my make up. I guess my DNA or something. Now I am a disappointer, a devastator, a person that hates, a person that is a liar.

Yes, I have been called some of those things today. I understand it. After sharing this I will likely turn off and lie here in bed hoping I feel up to going to my son’s baseball game, his 11th game ever, and I’ve only been able to attend one. I ended up in the hospital the last time. Precautions have had to be made. Now, I’m not even sure I will be able to go.

Do I blame anyone?
Yes.

I blame me. I’m the one with amnesia. I’m the one that loses what people don’t understand. I’m the one that causes the pain. I’m the one that can’t explain because I don’t  have the words at times. Yeah, that’s part of it all too, I don’t have the words. For a writer, not knowing words makes for some boring writing. The thesaurus is my friend. I use it and put in the word that is almost what I know I am looking for.

I don’t hate. I don’t lie. I don’t have the energy or time left in my life to do either. What am I?

I am me.

Whatever that me is today, that’s who I am.

Ronovan

This has not been a sympathy piece. It has been a blogging piece, old school style. A dear diary style of post. Something I had to get out and put down.

Get Positive: Sorting Your Junk – by Ronovan Writes

Hey all, go check out an article of mine chosen for the Kindness Blog. I am so happy. 🙂

 

Kindness Blog

positivityPeople comment often wondering how I stay positive, how I keep doing all I do in the face of what I live with. How can I stay positive through the life I have been given?

Practice. I know that sounds a little odd but as with anything in your life practice needs to happen. I didn’t just wake up and say, I’m good. Okay, perhaps I did, but then I had to do something about it and by ‘I’m good’ I mean I was not lettingmy health issuescontrol every aspect of my life.

Deciding to change does have an instant effect. Your view of things does change. You actually begin to see MORE of the negative things of the world. But you have to learn what to do about that view and that’s where the practice comes in.

You will change but those around you may still be…

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18 Quotes to Inspire Writers, Bloggers–Everyone.

The guy that came up with the Positivity campaign has a problem as he sits here and begins typing. He needs to think of something to write about. Part of the beginning an article with an idea yet to be developed is 18-quotespressure to write an article that is specifically about a certain topic. I gave ideas for others involved to do if they wanted help thinking of something. I am contrary to myself at times. I wanted to do an article instead. I think I like to hear myself type. Now, here I am—writer’s blocked.

As I typed those last two words, the idea came to me. There is something that gets in the way of all of us at times. It keeps us from being positive as often as we could. Did you see the words be positive all of the time in that last sentence?

I may attempt to be positive all the time, but there are life’s lessons that will come my way I need to wade through. Those are the moments that make me healthier mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. They are the moments that make my positive moments stronger. And they help me be more helpful in a positive way to others.

There are things we need to keep in mind. Pressures are often things we put upon ourselves. In reality they are all put upon by us in that we choose to accept the pressure moments. Yes, we have responsibilities, but within those responsibilities there should be an acceptance of reality; things will happen we need to work through, work with, stay calm through.

As I write whatever piece I am writing, those moments of stress come to me quite often as I attempt to capture the perfect voice, word, or phrasing. The books I am an author of are filled with pressure moments I have worked my way thorough. Only recently have I discovered a way to deal with them that may actually be a breakthrough for me.

With that in mind I have several quotes to share, to keep in mind.They are in the order in which I discovered them. I felt an order would negate perhaps the reason I found them in the way I did. Enjoy.

 

“If you want a happy ending, that depends, of course, on where you stop your story.”~ Orson Welles

 

“We do not quit playing because we grow old; we grow old because we quit playing.”~ Oliver Wendell Holmes

 

“Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great ones make you feel that you, too, can become great.”~ Mark Twain

 

“Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken.”~ Oscar Wilde

 

“Before you can win, you have to believe you are worthy.”~ Mike Ditka

 

“It’s the possibility of having a dream come true that makes life interesting.”~ Paulo Coelho

 

“The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself.”~ Anna Quindlen

 

“The man who doesn’t relax and hoot a few hoots voluntarily, now and then, is in great danger of hooting hoots and standing on his head for the edification of the pathologist and trained nurse, a little later on.”~Elbert Hubbard

 

“Men for the sake of getting a living forget to live.”~Margaret Fuller

 

“Take rest; a field that has rested gives a bountiful crop.”~Ovid

 

“One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one’s work is terribly important.” ~Bertrand Russell

 

“Stress is an ignorant state.  It believes that everything is an emergency.”~Natalie Goldberg

 

“There is more to life than increasing its speed.”~Mohandas K. Gandhi

 

“Slow down and everything you are chasing will come around and catch you.”~John De Paola

 

“Don’t let your mind bully your body into believing it must carry the burden of its worries.”~Terri Guillemets

 

“Tension is who you think you should be.  Relaxation is who you are.”~Chinese Proverb

 

“Sometimes the most important thing in a whole day is the rest we take between two deep breaths.”~Etty Hillesum

 

I hope you found a quote that made sense to you in a way.

@RonovanWrites

Ron_LWI

 

 

 

 

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The Eminent Fall.

It was about to snap, the brittle bound signalling line.

He didn’t know what to do as they all cried out, “Mine, mine, mine.”

The ticktock ticktock kept a measured beat.

Drowned out by their pounding clambering feet.

 

“No, no,” he cried to as if words would drive them back.

The more he screamed the more they came on the attack.

Did they sense it, the eminent fall?

Like an important phone call?

 

The twisting made the agony more than imagining.

The is was for real and too much for his handling.

The pulling grew stronger, as the line began to stretch.

What would happen when it snapped, would they catch?

 

“It’s okay,” they say as they keep telling him their reasons.

What they don’t know is he’s almost out of seasons.

The warnings are there, as he has constantly repeated.

But they never listen, they just want be sweetly greeted.

 

“Screw you,” he says through his dilapidated mind.

The snap they hear in his voice a shock, a new creature unkind.

“I told you to leave me alone,” he shouts.

All he receives in return are lips . . . all pouts.

 

“Sorry,” he says and their eyes begin to glow.

He shakes his head. “Your games a no go.

I know what your playin’ and it’s so tired.

So long to you all, it’s over, expired.”

 

Thomas_Vogel

He turns his way and then flips out the light.

One last look back and then he walks out into the night.

He wanders out into a place never before seen.

The streets are paved and the colors a majestic scene.

 

Finally peace, he thinks as eyebrows raise.

He finds a spot to relax and drifts as tired eyes glaze.

He faintly hears as he slips off into space,

The beautiful sounds . . .  of Amazing Grace.

 

Much Love to You All

&

To All a Goodnight

Ronovan

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Original Image Credit: gettyimages © Original Photo by Thomas Vogel

2014 © Copyright-All rights reserved by ronovanwrites.wordpress.com

Her Title-Dear dentist…I don’t like you. My Title-(Daffy Duck’s Sister Speaks . . . HAHAHAHA)

With the title do I really need to say anything else? Of course I will but do I need to? Nope. I so wish she had a video of herself, that is all I am saying.

A College Girl's Confessions

I have a thing about going to the dentist. Now don’t get me wrong, my dentist and his assistants are sweet as can be. I’m sure we’d all get along great over a cup of coffee. However, several obscenities tend to cross my mind when they’re poking and prodding in my mouth.

I’ve always had a thing about going to the dentist. I’m fairly certain I need an anxiety prescription just to go. That or a couple shots of something and I’d be good to go. The anxiety didn’t help this past week when I had to get sealant put on my teeth and a lingual frenectomy.

The sealant was to cover up the craters I had worn into my teeth. Grinding is bad. Needless to say, having a tiny mouth and the world’s most sensitive gag reflex (I know because my dentist told me so) didn’t really workout smoothly…

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