Upside Down – a poem.

Upside Down

 

Been in disguise since I was twenty-five,

never knowing if I should live or die.

Always thinking this world left me alone,

feeling it deeply through blood and bone.

Needing answers with these decades of doubt,

reaching for a handhold before I shout.

Then I met a small Carolina town,

flipping this Southern boy’s world upside down.

So close it hurts can touch but not feel it,

thrown up obstacles I fight to not quit.

This mask is slipping, years I’m passing through,

with no doubts I’ll live now that I found you.

 

ronovan writes poetry black words on transparent background


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© 2020 Ronovan Hester Copyright reserved. The author asserts his moral and legal rights over this work.

my pleas…please. – a poem.

my pleas…please

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dreams obscene,

thoughts so wrong.

Things your wearing.

turn me on.

What do you think I, feel when I see ya?

I’ve been stupid shy, this I can’t deny.

What is this cold fear, waitin’ for the all-clear?

Praying for a leap year, so I can see…you…dear…

That sinful grin,

jeans so tight.

I love it when,

you walk just right.

 

Skin so smooth

hair feels nice,.

Those fingertips,

I’ll pay the price.

This fire inside of me, is fighting to be free.

It needs hotter degrees., please hear my pleas.

Fire deep inside…

of me.

I’m on my…

knees.

I’m begging…

please.

Please hear my pleas.

Please hear my pleas.

Please hear my pleas.

ronovan writes poetry black words on transparent background


Sometimes I just have to let it go.


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© 2020 Ronovan Hester Copyright reserved. The author asserts his moral and legal rights over this work.

You need to cry…to breathe. Men, I’m talking about us…you women too.

To the artificial us, the expected supposed to be, and to humanity begging to shine through, I give you one piece of advice. Cry. I began this thread of idea to speak to the men of the world and their need to cry, in order for them to release all the pent up fears, angers, humiliations, and confusions, but the audience later broadens to be all inclusive.

Through this release through crying we, as men, might avoid the catastrophes we inevitably create for ourselves. Catastrophes created by fear of failure, anger and humiliation leading to obstinance and inflexibility. Confusion of not knowing what to do with all these feelings we’ve been told and ingrained with not to let show, let alone to allow exist inside of us. Again, the fear of that confusion because if we have these sensitive thoughts, feelings, and reactions then people might think we are more woman than man.

But, as I thought of how men in society should support man to cry, I thought also of how women should let us cry as well. Then I realized that society doesn’t allow women to cry freely without judgement either. Crying is seen as weak. Crying by a man is often thought of as showing their feminine side, as though having a feminine side is a bad thing.

This led me to the thought of why we still refer to behaviors as feminine or masculine.

I believe crying and laughter are the two most powerful healing and coping mechanisms every person has available to them, and it’s free to do either. No prescription necessary or diagnosis required.

Just as men are seen as weak for crying, so to are women. I believe that view along with that about men has led to many wrong decisions in the 20th and 21st centuries that caused great losses. This is not just an opinion I have about the U.S. but one for all countries around the world. Some even worse than America itself.

Many of us have or will experience a life altering trauma. We’re afraid to admit it, afraid to show we are scared or hurting or completely lost. A good first step is to let yourself cry. It works. I speak from experience.

So to humanity, I once again say…cry, and cry often. But also remember to laugh just as much. It’s all about balance in ones life to have a good and healthy life.

Cry like a man?
Cry like a human.
Cry like a babe calling for the need of telling the world it needs relief of something.

Wash away the poisons of loss
of grief
of fear
of anger
of the loneliness of being you.

Cry from no one listening
of no one noticing
you are no longer the you they know or you recognize.

Cry…so you can then breathe…and laugh once again.

My Escape.

I did not know you,

When you found me in the dark,

Seeking my escape.

 

When you least expect it, you will be rescued. During my darkest moments someone was there to take my hand, offer a kind word, and encourage me to become a human again. In the end that will be the beginning of something new and wonderful and I cannot wait until that day comes.

Dripping Melody.

Drip … drip … drip … drip … drip,

Sounds the cruel melody,

of the fatal heart.

Dripping Melody; Art and Haiku Poetry by Ronovan Hester



Amber Wake: Gabriel Falling by PS Bartlett and Ronovan Hester

Ronovan Hester is an author, with his debut historical adventure novel Amber Wake: Gabriel Falling due out in February 14, 2016. He shares his life through his blog RonovanWrites.WordPress.com. His love of poetry, authors and community through his online world has lead to the creation of a site dedicated to book reviews, interviews and author resources known as LitWorldInterviews.com.

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@RonovanWrites

© Copyright-All rights reserved by ronovanwrites.wordpress.com 2016

 

Here-A Haiku and a message added. Please Read.

Oh for peace to be

Here among the clamoring,

I find loneliness.

Here a Haiku by Ronovan

Do you hear what he’s saying?



Ron_LWIRonovan is an author, and blogger who shares his life as an amnesiac and Chronic Pain sufferer though his blog RonovanWrites.WordPress.com. His love of poetry, authors and community through his online world has lead to a growing Weekly Haiku Challenge and the creation of a site dedicated to book reviews, interviews and author resources known as LitWorldInterviews.WordPress.com.

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@RonovanWrites

 © Copyright-All rights reserved by RonovanWrites.wordpress.com 2015

This was written because of National Suicide Prevention Month. Thousands who die don’t die alone, they die around us. They call for help but we don’t know their language. Why? Because they’ve been made to feel as though there is something socially wrong and almost illegal about themselves. If they say they are depressed what happens to them? What happens at work? How does their family treat them or look at them? Do people ignore them with a “It’ll be alright.”?

For some of us we are lucky and have that one moment of clarity, that image that comes to our mind that pulls us back just in time. Not everyone has a boy “B”. Not everyone can be strong enough or maybe has fought for themselves hard enough to make it through. The above poem and image may not get the full effect I was going for, I may try again, but it tells you how we feel. All of the world around us, so close, so loud, but we feel all alone…and we don’t know why.

For some of you reading this, just think that you would never have met some great people if not for this blog. Perhaps a person has become very important to you that you met through a post or a challenge you found here.

Share this so people have an idea. We’re not crazy. But we are just out of step with something that will make us understand what is going on inside of us. And we call for help in different ways. Try to look, try to know your family, your friend. Know their language, in words, emotions, body. And when that language changes, find out why.

Run Away-My Haiku For the Week

haiku poetry run away

People run away.

To hopes, dreams and fantasies,

I do not belong

 

 

Ronovan

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© Copyright-All rights reserved by ronovanwrites.wordpress.com 2014

 

 

Thoughts swirl without care

The days are long for me

The nights twice that

I attempt to never count

But without you it’s all that I have

 

No, please do not doubt

My love grows with each breath

I know I have your love

Not touching is what brings death

smoke_rose.jpg

My mind is filled with confusion

Thoughts swirling without care

I grab for them, desperate

Relief in my thoughts I am aware

 

Give just one moment, please

Just a touch of heated skin

In these you filled moments

For you I will always give in

 

There is no worry about me

This world cannot take me away

I will hold out until at least one moment

When we kiss that can be that day

 

2014 © Copyright-All rights reserved-RonovanWrites.wordpress.com

Are You A Catfish?

If you know Eloise of Mello-Elo, you know she’s a sweet lady and a lovely person. Read the article and give her a hug. I can’t believe someone would accuse her of being a catfish.

Thoughts by Mello-Elo

Definition of a catfish – A catfish is someone who pretends to be someone they’re not using Facebook or other social media to create false identities, particularly to pursue deceptive online romances.

Example:
Did you hear how Dave got totally catfished last month?! The fox he thought he was talking to turned out to be a pervy guy from San Diego!

or

I was really falling for that gorgeous gal on Facebook, but she turned out to be a catfish.

courtesy of urban dictionary.com

Catfish could also be construed as those who seek out friendships, creating a persona that is not their own, to exist in a world in which they might not normally be accepted. Am I being pedantic? You tell me.

Social media allows us to edit the images and opinions we share in this global village. Is it surprising that some are tempted to reinvent themselves in…

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Answers Escape Me

Answers Escape Me

Copyright-All rights reserved-©RonovanWrites.wordpress.com-January 28, 2014.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Wonders never cease,

While questions abound around,

Answers find escape.

 

Copyright-All rights reserved-©RonovanWrites.wordpress.com-January 28, 2014.

Insanity Havens Shattered

Insanity Havens Shattered

 

Viking_Funeral_Pyre.jpg

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I can’t see where I am waiting

The light has gone out of my eyes

The dam breaks into the cavernous hollow

That was once my mind filled with memories of you

 

Now I don’t know what I am here for

I can’t seem to discover my path back through

The rifts of the time I was in before

Keep me in your thoughts and your heart

 

Torch marks engrave the image of you

Torn deep into the crevices of my soul

I look for a way to hang onto the pain

The pain of loving you

 

Thunder pounds into the echoes of madness

Lightning strikes behind my dimmed eyes

Even opened

They still see lightning strike images of you

 

Cracks formed in the insanity havens

Believed to be the sanctuary holding me bound

But now

Now I can no longer heart beat be found

 

 

 

2014 © Copyright-All rights reserved-RonovanWrites.wordpress.com.