Did you know people hate me?

Sounds impossible I know but they do. I am an odd person. I have strange ailments. Today let’s talk about Amnesia. Mine is persisting in much of the areas of my life.

First of all I don’t want people to think this is a pity article. I’m fine. When I say I am fine, I really mean it. I am merely sharing this for people to understand why things happen in my life the way they do and perhaps they have experiences with someone and this might help explain it. So really, I handle this all the time, every day, so no worries, Okay?

For those of you not aware, I fell in my home and received a concussion which caused Retrograde Amnesia, meaning memories before the accident as well as Short Term Amnesia, meaning I have problems retaining current information. Now you know why I write so much. Think of this Blog as my notes on life and even my poetry can tell me where and what I was at during a given day.

The Short Term Memory Loss is the issue here. Mine tends to be when I sleep, or am absent from something too long. My mind also apparently uses it as a defense against reminders of bad situations.

I recent times my Chronic Fatigue has been flaring up in a big way resulting in a lot of sleep, not good for the memory. I’ve forgotten people. I’ve forgotten friends.

Why do people hate me?

I forget them. That’s bad. I know it. But then there is something in my mind that says run. There is an element of fear there. Did you know a big guy like me fears something like forgetting people and their hating him? Yeah, it happens. I have a lot of issues in life to deal with, one is my son. Can you imagine being 10 and having a father who has Amnesia, Fibromyalgia, Osteoarthritis, Chronic Fatigue, Light and Sound Sensitivity and isn’t allowed to drive yet?

My son worries about me every day. He checks on me all the time. He doesn’t know that I notice but I do. I see him looking in my room to make sure I am okay. Yeah, my son has to be the kid with the weirdo dad. I try to act as normal as can be around him but there are limitations.

Then I have people that hate me.

My number of waking hours each day have dwindled. My writing here has dwindled, my writing on LitWorldInterviews has dwindled recently. I did NaNoWriMo but i felt obligated after agreeing to it and that’s where the most of the waking hours went. My mind operates differently than most I suppose.

So for those hate me . . .

Okay. once I get all those other problems under control, maybe I cam make it so people won’t hate me as much. For now, I am just trying to stay awake long enough to see my son at night and trying to get up in the mornings to see him off to school.

Much Respect

Ronovan

PS-I would have mentioned the 24/7 Migraines I have but I thought that was over kill.

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