10 Things I Just Need to Know–About Women

Ronovan Humor, , , , , ,

Okay, so I’ve done a few articles and lists about men and our issues. Well today I’m going after the women. That’s right Female Focus Friday is doing just that Focusing on the Females.

 

Ladies here it is . . .

 

10 Things I Just Need to Know

 (Why do I start sounding like J Lo’s ex every time I say ‘I need to know”? You do know which of her ex’s I mean, right? Just sayin’. And oh yes, I did go there.)

 

#10

Ladies why do you look better cross dressing than we do? You put on our dress shirts and . . . okay, I’m not really asking. I just wanted to, you know, okay, never mind, time to move on. (Stop looking at me like that, yes, the ears are burning red now.)

 

 

 #9

 

Ladies, why do you like dope so much? Yes, I said it. Dopamine is the chemical that chocolate releases in the brain. So what’s up with that, ladies?Woman_eating_chocolate

 

 

 #8

 

Why can’t you drink with your eyes open? Every time you take that first drink from a cup of coffee or tea you close your eyes. Is it concern over the contact lenses melting from the steam, or one might pop out and start floating?

Woman_Drinking_Coffee.jpeg

 

 

#7

 

Mick_Jagger.jpg

David_Bowie_Ziggy_Stardust.jpg

 

Hmm?

 

 

 

 

Okay, Steven Tyler in the 70’s, okay, maybe the 80’s, sure. You hit the 90’s it’s getting close, then the 2000’s, umm. What’s up with the continued fascination with Steven Tyler? Mick Jagger and David Bowie had a love child? That whole Dancing in the Sheets song from Live Aid still has me confused. Wait, that was the song from Footloose . . . hmm . . .

Twiggy.jpg

Jim_Morrison

Maybe?

Steven_Tyler.jpg

 

 

 #6

 

From my understanding lipstick can pull out the pigment in your lips meaning they fade the color, but you use lipstick to give your lips color . . . and then they have the tattoo makeup procedures? I think I see a cycle here. Do any of you?

Permanent_Makeup_Tattoos.jpg

 

 #5

Skeleton_Kneeling_Begging.jpg

Why do you make men act so stooopid? I mean we fall in love, we get rid of all our friends, forget our mother’s birthdays to go to your friend’s baby shower, and then two weeks after we start dating, you say it’s over? Whipped boy say whut?

 

 

 #4

Miley Cyrus? Can you explain her to me, please?

 Miley_Cyrus_Bent_Over_White_Pants.jpg

 

#3

I get it, high heels make your calves and butt look great, but why in the world put yourself through that? Why is there a big man at my door screaming through the window at me right now?

Screaming Man

 

 

 #2

David Beckham, Hugh Jackman, or Vin Diesel? I gotta know. (Comment below.)

David_Beckham,jpg

 

 

 

 

Hugh_Jackman.jpg

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Vin_Diesel.jpg

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

#1

I’m big, I’m cuddly. So why is it that Kevin James gets all the cute and cuddly and I don’t? I need to know!

Kevin_James.jpgRon Cover Shot

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Check out Hilary’s answers back at me at Joy of Writing.

 

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64 thoughts on “10 Things I Just Need to Know–About Women”

  4. # 9: can’t get over the yummy taste. I’m quite addicted, because it is a pick me up when I’m feeling low.

    #8: enjoyment is better when your eyes are closed, kinda like kissing.

    #7: I don’t like them. No idea.

    #5: I like my men, manly – my guy is not like that.

    #4: Attention needed me thinks.

    #3: I’ve started waring heels lately. You should just hear the compliments I’m getting. Apperently I hot, hot, hot. Their staying.

    #2: Vin Diesel – I like my boys, bad.

    #1: I think it is inaproprate. my hubsy is also cuddly. I love cuddling him.

    #10: That was not a question
    #6: No idea.

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  8. Haha I loved this! It’s so true… us women… we are WHACK!

    And for the record, I’m a Hugh kinda gal… Beckham is so itty bitty, I’d hate to weigh more than my man candy! I’ve also wondered about the never ending love of all those old, skinny, wrinkly dudes… they are Grandpas, gross

    Also, that man in the window comment got a genuine chuckle from me, nicely played 🙂

    You rock that Kevin James look! Who doesn’t love the cute n’ cuddly?!

    Great read 🙂

    http://www.lisalisted.com

    Liked by 1 person

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  9. HAHA! Those are too funny. I can’t help you on the Miley Cyrus one. I don’t think ANYONE understands her.

    I will say I enjoy wearing high heels, and I use to wear them whether they were comfortable or not. As the saying goes, pain is gain, right…? lol. Nowadays, I’ll only wear them if they don’t make me feel like I’m about to fall over and my feet/calves are numb after two minutes.

    Well, you know my stand on chocolate, so…it’s just amazing!!!! And now I want some!

    Oh, and HUGH JACKMAN! A hottie that can sing, dance, and act? AND (I’ve heard) is a nice, down to earth kinda guy? *growwwl* 😉

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  10. #2 – It’s gotta be Hugh Jackman – the others just can’t compare, and that includes #7! Oh, did I mention I’m Australian and so is Hugh 🙂
    And Kevin James – not speaking for self but I’d imagine because he’s a celebrity? Sorry? Bet you get your share of cuddles 😉

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  12. I have answers for the first three. Lipstick, celebrities, heels? Not my style. I don’t even know who Kevin James is, but I give my man all the cuddles because I’m madly in love.

    10. Women have curves. We always look better. I could put on a burlap sack and tie a rope around my waist and bam! Awesomeness. Alright, maybe not to that extent, but curves are rockin! And ladies got ‘em.

    On a more serious note, not every woman pulls off cross dressing. I think it’s important to dress in a way that flatters your figure and personality (man or woman) because it makes you feel beautiful and more confident. Personal fashion demands honesty both physically and emotionally.

    9. Chocolate is a treat that makes any day better. You eat it and forget about all the horrible things that happened that day. Beer works, too. But beer probably falls more on the “masculine” end of things. A chocolate stout is a nice in-between, yes?

    8. We do this because we savor things. I guess we’re just more sensual. Hot chocolate, tea, coffee—it’s all comfort and happiness. Kind of like chocolate.

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  13. #10. It’s a woman-secret. I can’t tell you, it’s in the hand book. I’d have to kill you. 🙂

    #9. I was told that chocolate was a substitute for sex.

    #8. That’s how we say “mmmm, mmmm!”

    #7. Don’t know. Don’t get it.

    #6. I’m more a chap stick kinda girl.

    #5. Ohhhh, I’m sorry. You too?

    #4. Miley. Nobody understands that!

    #3. Because it makes our legs and butt look terrific!

    #2. Mmmmm, yummy. Do I have to choose? 😦

    #1. Hmmm, this is truly a question for the ages!

    I really enjoyed this Donavan. Happy Friday!

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  14. This is one your best funny posts Ron,.loved it..As for the answers
    #10 because we were ‘born that way’ sexy
    #9 Its an anti oxidant and anti depressant
    #8 I dont know..never knew we did that..I drink my coffee with my eyes open
    #7 Not sure..
    #6 I dont know what you are talking about Ron… whats the point?
    #5 Haha funnyyy…what are you talking about? you should see we always always have your best interests at heart never doubt your woman. Even when she leaves you.
    #4 Yea..shes a mystery..just a phase probably..hopefully she regains consciousness soon..
    #3 Whats a little pain when you can look fabulous
    #2 HUGH JACKMANN…always and forever more…
    #1 😀

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  16. 10. Men in kilts look fab. 9. the answer is in the question 8 we’re having a quick nap. 7 S Tyler looks silly. 6.not all women do stupid things to their faces 5 Women go all silly over men too and get dumped. I think that’s certain kind of person thing. Nothing to do with gender. 4. Miley Cyrus probably needs a better home life 3 You answered your own question. 2. Meh. 1 buy yourself a flat cap and I’ll be right round!

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  20. 10. I’m amazed by this myself – the way a woman can look so sexy in a man’s shirt. Can’t be said about a man wearing a dress! No wisdom here.

    9. Do you not like chocolate? 😮

    8. Hmmmmm… I haven’t noticed myself doing that but next time I drink tea I’ll be super self-conscious now.
    On a more serious note – women are just really appreciative of the small things in life!

    7. Don’t know what you’re talking about.

    6. Don’t wear make up. I’m starting to think maybe I’m not a woman after all…

    5. We don’t make men stoopid. They are born that way. :p

    4. Disgrace to women-kind.

    3. Weapon of choice. In case we get kidnapped.

    2. *copy* Beckham’s thick. Hugh’s alright. Vin Diesel ❤ *fangirl scream*

    1. Kevin James looks a bit like Vin Diesel. Omg.

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  21. That is hilarious! I won’t give you my answers because I don’t know most of them. Except Miley Cyrus, who is a bizarre natural phenomenon rather than a human woman. No offence. Also, is David Beckham a man? I’m confused…

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  24. Rofl Ron…well I guess no one can explain Miley Cyrus 😀
    Please lets not discuss Vin Diesel and Hugh Jackman…it’s private 😉
    Well high heels and lipstick…can you guys explain your love for gadgets and sports and cars??? …and who said you aren’t cute…you are way too cute to be a writer 😉

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  25. Beckham? Um … no. Way too girly.

    Hugh Jackman? One word. WOLVERINE.

    Vin Diesel? RIDDICK.

    Great post 🙂 made me laugh.

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  26. Excellent. Good laugh. Aaaand…
    #3 – For the love of God, I cannot walk in high heels. I cannot even sit in them if they are really high. Maybe I should think about my identity…
    #2 – Hugh Jackman. There can only be one.
    #1 – Come visit me. I am a hugger! 🙂

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