5 Things | ronovanwrites

Men get away with . . . NOTHING!

by: Ronovan

Men, we think we have them snowed. You know all of our little ways of doing things, but we don’t. Nope. Women know. They know when you’re walking through the store and you shake that leg trying to get a muscle cramp out that you’re either a) trying to get the underwear back in place, or b) trying to get some other things in place.

Don’t yell men. I’m not giving away trade secrets. I haven’t given out the secret handshake yet.

But men, it’s time to give up the delusions.

Here are 5 things women know we’re doing:

You’re not scratching your nose or rubbing your nose. No matter how fast you do it they see the thumb slip inside that nostril. They know.

They know you aren’t behind a car with some faulty exhaust system when the smell hits after Taco Bell. Next time just the Tacos and not the additional Nachos Belle Grande.

You don’t check for your wallet that many times. They know you’re scratching your butt.

They know you are going to check out the waitress. You know you are going to check out the waitress. DON’T check out the waitress. And yes that means the other waitress a few booths behind the woman you are with that you are checking out while you pretend to be thinking about a question your lady asked you. We’re not that deep.

They know what the word ‘fine’ means. They know it doesn’t mean yes. It means the same as ‘whatever’. In other words they know that you don’t want to do whatever it is but you are agreeing to it just so they will stop talking about it.

Life could be so much simpler, guys. I don’t really know how, but it could. Yes, the nose hair causes things to itch. Trim it. Tacos? Take something ahead of time or eat less than some small states. Butt itch? Use some powder or lotion. Waitress checking? Stare at the table or your woman. The word ‘fine’? Well there’s no solution to that one. No matter what we come up with they’ll just know.

Until next time, peace out and don’t pretend to stretch so you can smell if you forgot deodorant . . . or need it.

Spread this stuff everywhere!