Did you ever wonder?

Very likely your answer to that question is yes. If not perhaps you will now wonder why I thought it should be. So now that we have all wondered about something, let us continue.

It was about 10 PM one night recently and I suddenly started thinking in British. And oddly ‘Venus’ by Bananarama was running through my brain. And I started this crazy dance without any reason at all. I felt like I was in stand up spin cycle washing machine or something.

Have you ever had that happen to you? No . . . well of late it happens to me quite often. Fortunately I was able to get out of my bubble bath but had to skip the Super Walmart excursion as my socks were not clean anyway and I hate the way my sandals feel on my bare feet. You know that sweaty icky feeling. If rubber then you wonder if some jelly baby is sucking at your feet, if leather than the cow is attempting to become a symbiote with your toes to live again. Yes, these thoughts do run through my mind. And really why DOES a nose run and feet smell? And what happens when the nose runs and meets the smelling feet? I need to know before 3 AM when I go to sleep.

No, that is not why I am dragging you through my quaint little village of a blog. My suddenly British thinking mind has questions.

Why are French Fries called chips in Britain? Is it xenophobia against the French? Is there a ban on using anything that sounds unhealthily like the word fry? Why not Fish and Fries? In Britain when making fried chicken is it called chipped chicken? When ordering at McDonald’s does the person taking said order ask if you would like chips with that?

And I know you know I must ask about the cookies being called biscuits. Need I really go into this? Does Ernie the Keebler Elf talk about chocolate chip biscuits? And I am still wondering about the dipping the cookie biscuit in tea. I don’t understand. And why would you drink something called Grey? Have you not read the books? You might catch 50 Shades of an STD.

Now for the really odd question burning in my brain; why the wrong side of the road driving? Are all people in Britain left handed? Are you not afraid that you will shift gears in a zig zag formation and around the world snap? I mean really people, what is . . . the . . .deal? Oh I know, perhaps Britain is where all of the mail carriers in America secretly come from. I mean why else would they have those jeeps with the wheel switched over in order to reach the mailbox? Oh, and what do they do in Britain? Do they move the wheel to the left side of the vehicle for mail carriers?

And now finally, Blood Sausage, what? I cannot fathom the mind that thought “Let us name this meaty type thing blood so people will love it”. Why? I really do ask why?

I will not ask about Piers Morgan and why you sent him here. Perhaps it was a secret plan for a new invasion. And why is he named after a place where sailors gather? Hmm? Do you know? Piers, you can tell us.

I leave you with this and perhaps anyone English British will have it running through their heads the rest of the day. And perhaps my friend Hugh of Hugh’s News and Views would be able to answer these questions . . . that is when he is not dunking cookies in 50 Shades of STDs.
http://youtu.be/fVkN0VhOuZ0
Much Respect

Ronovan

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