A little Monday Monty Python for you and you and you and you and you. (Singing those for yous to the whistling portion of Always Look On The Bright Side of Life.)
British
Roll With It.
For those that need it today. Steve Winwood and Roll With It.
Crazy Little Thing Called Love. #TunefulTuesday
It’s been some time since I did a Tuneful Tuesday but here we are…it’s Tuesday and I’m in a tuneful mood.
It’s a Saturday night in 1979-1980 and I’m on the roller rink rollering away, possibly trying not to break my arm or neck as I hang on to the rail . . . teaching myself to skate. A foolish endeavor when looking back on the fact that one of the prettiest teenage girls ever, my baby-sitter or whatever, was an expert skater and wanted to show me how. Oh how boys can be dumb at a certain age.
Then the scary thing happens. The somewhat empty floor is swarmed. Why? Because the first #1 hit in the land for a British Hall of Fame act is announced as being next.
It’s crazy. Yes, it’s even just a little thing. But I have no idea what it had to do with love.
Freddie Mercury and Queen with Crazy Little Thing Called Love begins and the drum beats of Roger Taylor that are possibly forgotten in their influence through the years due to a once in a life time voice and performer in Mercury drives everyone around the rink.
The meaning of the lyrics? They are what they are and the song is a tribute to Elvis Presley. One of those rare songs from a legendary performer that was what it was. That’s cool if you think about it.
From Melody Maker interview 05/o2/81:
Let’s talk about your song writing. Can you write songs to order: “At two o’clock today I will start working on song . . . ?”
I have no set rules for writing, but yes, I can write like that, I really can. It’s haphazard and it’s become a bit of a joke to me, but if I knew we’re going into the studio I just get my thinking process going. I can write songs to order, like a job. Some songs come faster that others: “Bohemian Rhapsody” I had to work at like crazy. I just wanted that kind of song. “Crazy Little Thing Called Love” took me five or ten minutes. I did that on the guitar, which I can’t play for nuts, and in one way it was quite a good thing because I was restricted, knowing only a few chords. It’s a good discipline because I simply had to write within a small framework. I couldn’t work through too many chords and because of that restriction I wrote a good song, I think.
And the live version.
Crazy Little Thing Called Love
This thing called love I just can’t handle it
this thing called love I must get round to it
I ain’t ready
Crazy little thing called love
This (This Thing) called love
(Called Love)
It cries (Like a baby)
In a cradle all night
It swings (Woo Woo)
It jives (Woo Woo)
It shakes all over like a jelly fish,
I kinda like it
Crazy little thing called loveThere goes my baby
She knows how to Rock n’ roll
She drives me crazy
She gives me hot and cold fever
Then she leaves me in a cool cool sweatI gotta be cool relax, get hip
Get on my track’s
Take a back seat, hitch-hike
And take a long ride on my motor bike
Until I’m ready
Crazy little thing called loveI gotta be cool relax, get hip
Get on my track’s
Take a back seat, hitch-hike
And take a long ride on my motor bike
Until I’m ready (Ready Freddie)
Crazy little thing called love
this thing called love I must get round to it
I ain’t ready
Crazy little thing called love
This (This Thing) called love
(Called Love)
It cries (Like a baby)
In a cradle all night
It swings (Woo Woo)
It jives (Woo Woo)
It shakes all over like a jelly fish,
I kinda like it
Crazy little thing called loveThere goes my baby
She knows how to Rock n’ roll
She drives me crazy
She gives me hot and cold fever
Then she leaves me in a cool cool sweatI gotta be cool relax, get hip
Get on my track’s
Take a back seat, hitch-hike
And take a long ride on my motor bike
Until I’m ready
Crazy little thing called loveI gotta be cool relax, get hip
Get on my track’s
Take a back seat, hitch-hike
And take a long ride on my motor bike
Until I’m ready (Ready Freddie)
Crazy little thing called love
This thing called love I just can’t handle it
this thing called love I must get round to it
I ain’t ready
Crazy little thing called love
Much Respect-Much Love
Ronovan
Ronovan is an author, and blogger who shares his life as an amnesiac and Chronic Pain sufferer though his blog RonovanWrites.WordPress.com. His love of poetry, authors and community through his online world has lead to a growing Weekly Haiku Challenge and the creation of a site dedicated to book reviews, interviews and author resources known as LitWorldInterviews.WordPress.com.
© Copyright-All rights reserved by ronovanwrites.wordpress.com 2015
Meet Hugh’s Views & News-Interview
As a happy ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY for Hugh’s Views & News, here is my interview with Hugh where Hugh and I began our friendship and partnership in writing and mayhem. ENJOY! Make sure to visit Hugh today and wish him Happy Anniversary. He has a post up about it. (There has been a small video addition at the end of his favorite word. I found a short like 30 second clip of it.)
I blog. Amazing discovering isn’t it? Being a blogger you also follow other bloggers. Sometimes you don’t know how you ended up making the acquaintance of someone, yes I can make that joke about myself but no one else can (amnesiac rights), but you are glad you did stumble upon someone. One such person grabbed my attention not only because he liked my attempts at writing, but one day a photograph he posted jumped out at me. No it did not literally leap from the page, at least I don’t think it did. Perhaps he has sort of 3D Mac power. Yes, I am afraid to say that he is one of . . . those people.
Thinking now perhaps it was 3D and knocked the memory out of me. I do have a habit of following it hitting my head. But I do have the memory that this man took a photograph that I loved enough to remember that of him and that means the world to me. Memories to me now are made more of impressions than of actual images.
So let me introduce to you, The one and only. . . wait wrong song now . . . on a mountain top, burning like a silver flame . . .
Hugh Roberts
Hugh’s Views & News
RW: Hugh, I googled your name in fun because I love your name and it has such a strength of character about it that I just knew it had to be famous. Are you the same Hugh Roberts who was in charge of Windsor Castle after the fire in 1992 and was also director of Christie’s, the auction house?
HUGH: Gee, that’s really kind of you, but no, I am not him. I have many times though, been introduced as Hugh Grant or Huw Edwards (for those of your followers outside of the UK, the latter is a famous BBC news reader over here). I suppose the mix up occurs because there aren’t many of us ‘Hughs’ around. I’ve never been asked for an autograph after being introduced as Hugh Grant, but I have on the odd occasional been stared at for a long period of time and imagined the word ‘really?’ going through that person’s mind as they stand there open mouthed and gobsmacked at Hugh Grant standing in front of them.RW: There go all of those artsy questions. Hmm . . . So you’re English . . . I don’t know why it is the English Bloggers seem to fascinate me. Beatles or the Stones?HUGH: There’s your first ‘strike’, Ronovan. I like to refer to myself as Welsh or better still, British. I’m very proud to be British. I have nothing against being called English, after all I currently live in England and speak English, but calling a Welsh or Scottish person English, is like being at one of those self check-out machines at the supermarket and the machine says to you “there is an unexpected item in the baggage area, please remove the item” and you’ve not put anything there! You get just a little irate. Only a little, so no need to get out those boxing gloves yet 
. I guess you thought I was English because of the way my name is spelt, yeah? Well, OK, I’ll take that strike away 
then, after all it is the English spelling of Hugh I use and not the Welsh spelling as Huw Edwards uses. My parents have a lot to answer for on that one.As for Beatles or the Stones, neither for me. I’d have to go for Bananarma,
the British all girl group with the Guinness world record for the all female group with the most chart entries in the world. Their songs bring back so many happy memories for me.
RW: Sigh . . .’your my Venus your my’ . . . oh, yes, interview. Okay now onto more serious things, well that was serious but anyway, I am a big fan of your photography which is odd because you write a lot and I enjoy that as well, but tell me about your flowers and your gardening. You don’t even have to leave your home for great photos.HUGH: We have a beautiful garden, but to be perfectly honest with you, I absolutely hate gardening. I have no interest in it at all. Don’t get me wrong, I love to sit and relax in the garden, but when it comes to gardening, I’m about as interested as a mannequin would be viewing my holiday pictures. RW: Then where does the garden come from, Bananarama and their Venus power? (Mind drifting to the one with the short blonde hair ‘yeah baby she’s got it’. . . sigh.) Hugh, you carry on with the interview without me.HUGH: All the credit for the beautiful plants in our garden, has to go to my partner, John. He’s the one that grew 
the plants which I took the photographs of. I’ve only just started to show an interest in photography, so it’s very early days for me, but a few I have posted on my blog seem to have attracted a little bit of attention. That in turn has spurred me on to taking more and I’m beginning now to really enjoy the challenges of taking photos as much as I do with the WordPress writing challenges I sometimes take part in.RW: Tell my Friends about where you live that produces those great flowers in your photos.HUGH: We currently live in Hove, known by some as “Hove Actually” because of the Alfred Hitchcock 1938 movie ‘The Lady Vanishes’ when Miss Froy, one of the characters, refers to herself as coming from Brighton and then goes on to say “well, Hove actually, just down the coast”. It’s situated in the county of East Sussex and is on the south coast of the UK, just over fifty miles south of London. Many people know our bigger neighbour, Brighton, far better, but the two now form a conurbation along with some other smaller towns and villages along the coast. Hove was first established right back in the 12th century, so has been around for a very long time. We have a wonderful climate, plenty of sunshine and rain, which helps the garden blossom.RW: And I’ll go ahead and ask for my Photo Geek Friends, what type of camera do you use? Go ahead and be all techno numbers and all of that for those that speak Cameranese.HUGH: Would you believe it if I said I take all my photos on an iPhone 4? Well, that’s where they have all come from. I love all things ‘Apple’ and am probably a marketing dream for them. iMac, iPad, iPhone, iCloud, Apple TV, I have it all, thanks to all the Apple Vouchers I get for Christmas and Birthdays (I’m so easy to buy for, so please take note). Between us, we once had five, I kid you not, five iPads! OK, some were from the very early days and I’ve sold a few since then, but I can not walk past the Apple store without having to go inside. That’s why I had to write my latest short story, ‘The Truth App’, in honour of the staff at our local Apple store.RW: (I told you he was one of . . . those people.) And tell us about your love of the Cardigan Welsh Corgi.HUGH: Well, it’s over to my partner, John, here, because he was the one that wanted to get a dog and it ha
d to be a Cardigan Welsh Corgi. I suppose with us both being Welsh, we had to have a Welsh dog, but it was when John first saw one at Crufts, that he had to get one. What we did not know is that these dogs are on the vulnerable breeds lists here in the UK, with less than 100 being born every year. Originally they were bred for herding cattle and I 
understand they are still used for that purpose over in the States. Ours is called Toby and he’s become a bit of a star over on my blog recently, having now posted two posts about some of the walks he goes on. When I wrote those posts, I wrote them as if I were him, so from his perspective, and I’ve had some really positive comments left on those posts. When my sister was over on a visit from Australia recently, she referred to him as a “little human”. I guess that’s because we do spoil him a lot, but many people have also told us what a wonderful character he has. He knows the words, walk, chicken, cheese, custard, sausage, rice pudding, and mince pies (at Christmas time) and seems to even know what day of the week it is. He’s one clever chap.RW: Once everyone stops looking at Toby tell us where you get your inspiration from for your stories?HUGH: Lots of places really, some strange, some not so strange. Take for example my short story, Last Train to Aldwych. Grace Simmons, the main character in that story, introduced herself and told me her story while I was doing a pile of ironing. As soon as I had finished ironing that last sock (no, I don’t really iron socks, honestly!), I sat down and wrote the story. Other stories have come from prompts and WordPress writing challenges, while the inspiration for others have come from other bloggers. I’m currently working on a two-part short story which came as an inspiration from a photo I saw on one of the blogs I follow. The author doesn’t know it yet, but I’ll be asking if I can use their photo so I can include it in the post. My passion is for writing short stories and although they do not get as many views as my photo posts do, I’m very proud of myself for not letting the fact that I have dyslexia get in my way anymore. I used to see dyslexia as a monster, but happy to say that I managed to tame it, with the help of a few fellow bloggers who really encouraged me to continue with my blog. I am so thankful to those bloggers, who I now class as friends, for all the support and encouragement they gave me. And, yes, I’ve even written a post about defeating the monster I called dyslexia.A few other bloggers have since also confided in me they have dyslexia, and I’m now giving them the support and encouragement I received, to carry on doing what we all love to do, write.
I also get a lot of inspiration from listening to music while I write, especially when writing short stories. ‘Dreamland” by Robert Miles is currently my favourite album to write to. If I ever bumped into Mr Miles, I would certainly have to buy him dinner and a few drinks, as a thank you.
RW: Do you have a writing spot in your home? That place that you go to where nothing distracts you from the flow of creation?HUGH: I used to have two spots, one being the kitchen, but I don’t tend to write in there much anymore now. 
The main spot for me is in our study. The desk looks out over towards Hove Recreation Ground, which maybe does not sound so nice, but believe me, whilst it’s not as pretty as some of the
other parks we have in Brighton & Hove, it’s lovely to look out at while I am writing. It’s used by lots of people and also used a lot for sports like rugby and cricket and I have often included bits of conversations in my posts which I have overheard whilst walking Toby in there. Of course I change what I have heard, so that it more reflects how I would have said it, but it’s a source of some great conversations. If I also see an interesting person walking in the grounds while writing, I’ll give them a name and use them in one of my stories. That might put people who live in the area and reading this, off from going in there now, but just think of it this way. One day, the inspiration you gave me, may become a Hollywood blockbuster movie or best selling novel. Who am I kidding!!?RW: That is a great view from the window, I was thinking it would be more distracting than that. You mention a book you are working on in your bio, how is that coming along and do I get a free copy?HUGH: Of course you can have a free copy. I’d even sign it ‘Hugh Grant” if you wanted?I started writing the book in late 2012. As a child, I had two main ambitions. I wanted to write a book and have it published, and I also wanted to have a number one hit single! The trouble with the last one, is that although I am Welsh (Welsh men can really sing you know, just look at all the Welsh Male Voice Choirs there are) I can’t sing. I’m absolutely tone deaf and, unlike dyslexia, I’ve not been able to tame it. I was thrown out of many a school choir for not being able to sing and if my parents protested with the school headmaster, then I’d get back in, but only to be given the part of playing the xylophone or, even worse, the tambourine!
I’m afraid the book has had to take a bit of a back seat since I started my blog, because that is where most of my free time now goes. I’d like to think of it as my first book, but because I’ve really enjoyed writing short stories since starting my blog, I am thinking of perhaps putting all of them into a book and self publishing them first. I will certainly go back to the book and don’t think I’ve done any harm in leaving it alone for a while. I read somewhere recently that some authors can leave finishing writing books for years, then go back to them to finishing them off and the book then becomes an international best seller.
The book I am writing is about life in London in the 1980’s and 90’s. I lived in London for 27 years before coming to Hove and the book is based on my life in the city during those times. Some of it is based on fact, a lot is fiction, but I had such an interesting and wonderful time whilst living in London, that I wanted it to be recorded somewhere, so the ambition I had as a child, may just come true, one day.
RW: Does Blogging ever interfere with your social responsibilities?HUGH: Oh, John is going to like you for asking me this question, I can guarantee it. Did he ask you to ask this question? I bet he did didn’t he? I have to be very honest here, because after all, I’m a very honest person, so my answer is yes. Both John and myself are tidy people. We hate clutter and like everything to be in place, that’s why we get on so well and have been together for nearly 21 years, but, blogging has taken over my life. Sure, I’ll do the chores, walk Toby, empty the bin, make the beds, and all that, but I’m probably not as thorough as I was before I started my blog. I’m not saying that the house is now looking like a store does at the end of the first day of the sale, but I do rather tend to rush the social responsibilities these days, so that I can log on to the blog and start reading and writing. That reminds me, I need to descale the coffee machine before it seizes up for good. Thanks for the prompt!RW: When did you start your blog?HUGH: 12th February 2014, so it has a birthday which we will be celebrating next year, much to John’s amusement I might add. February is a big month for us, because not only is it the birthday month of my blog, but John also has a birthday that month, our civil partnership anniversary is the same month and, of course, who could forget valentine’s day as well?A family member introduced me to WordPress in early February after I inquired with the family if they knew anybody who blogged? I don’t think most of them thought I was being serious when I told them I was thinking of starting my own blog and one friend even told me to be careful because of internet trolls and all that, but I saw it as a way to tell my story and write about all the various elements of everyday life I love so much. Although I have dyslexia, I seem to be able to explain things by writing them down far better than by talking about them. Starting a blog has given me so much confidence and its the perfect way to get over my views and news. Hence the blog name, Hugh’s Views and News.
RW: I notice you around the Blog Block so to speak in my reading of other bloggers and your likes and comments; do you notice a difference in style between bloggers from different parts of the world?HUGH: Yes, hugely. Not only in the way the author writes, but also in that of the comments that are left. Reading blogs is such a great way of finding out about different cultures and how people live their lives on a daily basis. You can really get to know somebody so well just from engaging with them by asking questions and leaving comments 
on posts. Perhaps the saddest thing about it though is that you can read some comments, which can be read as being offensive to some, but to others may be perfectly normal. I’ve come across that quite recently and was going to react as I thought a particular comment somebody had left on a blog I follow was rather offensive. But then I thought ‘its not my blog’ and I looked at it from the ‘other side of the coin’ and thought about the position the person who had left the comment was in. The person who owned the blog obviously hadn’t seen it as an offensive comment as otherwise they would have removed it, so I moved on, without saying anything.
RW: What type of Blogs do you tend to gravitate toward?HUGH: I follow a lot of blogs which concentrate on one subject but I tend to gravitate more to those which contain lots of variety. My own blog contains short stories, photos, reviews, my views on life, television and commercials, as well as a few other categories. I have seen some bloggers create brand new blogs because they think having too much variety on their blog looks messy. I’m not so sure about that. Yes, if I am looking for a blog that only contains recipes, then it’s great to find a blog that contains only recipes, but I like a good mixture in a blog (no pun intended there)! I like to get to know the blogger, and by having lots of variety on their blog, I know I can achieve that because it will tell me more about them other than that they may be a great cook. So I tend to graduate towards blogs that have lots of variety. After all, they do say that variety is the spice of life, don’t they?RW: You seem to really enjoy what you do, what advice can you give others to help keep them motivated to blog and enjoy? Do you have something like a limit of time, a number of posts per week, anything like that?HUGH: My first piece of advise would to be to treat your blog as if it were alive. I’d better explain that a little more, hadn’t I? To me, I see my blog as being alive. To stay alive, it needs plenty of nourishment. I look at a post I have written myself, as a meal for my blog. Because I have written the post, I look at it as if it were a meal I had prepared myself from fresh wholesome ingredients. When I press that publish button, I’m feeding my blog a good meal to keep it nourished. I look at re-blogs as ready made meals because I am not the original author.
None the less, when I re-blog something, then I am still feeding my blog and giving it nourishment, thus keeping it alive. There’s absolutely no problem in taking a break from your blog to try and get the creative juices flowing, but try not to leave it too long, otherwise it may pass away. Always consider re-blogging something you have found interesting from another blog if you have nothing to publish yourself. After all we are all told to visit, read and comment on other blogs so as to connect with other bloggers and create new openings and attract new followers.
So my first piece of advise is to feed your blog, even if it means just re-blogging something occasionally.
My second piece of advise is to connect and engage with your followers and anyone, other than trolls, who leave a comment on your posts. I always thank anyone for taking the time to read and comment on a post I have published because, by doing so, I am then engaging with them. I always answer any questions they ask me and in turn I may go back and ask them questions or for further comments on the answers I have given. I know some bloggers are going to get huge amounts of comments and won’t be able to respond to them all. but I think it sad when I come across a blog and see absolutely no response to comments from the author.
When I first started blogging, I thought I’d stick to one post a month, but that soon became two posts a month, to three and so on, because I was really enjoying what I was doing. I try and post something on my own blog at least twice a week. Of course if you are not enjoying what you doing then stop and move on to something else. That’s exactly what I did after my two year relationship with the gym fell apart.
RW: Finally for my Big Three Questions. What is your favorite scent/aroma/fragrance and why?HUGH: Mint. I love the stuff, not only on my roast lamb, but also as an aroma around the house. It makes the whole place smell fresh and clean, which of course my house is, after you asking me that earlier question about social responsibilities.RW: What is your favorite beverage?HUGH: Tea. I suppose that is the Britishness in me. I love the stuff especially when I have a pack of Oreos or chocolate digestives to dunk into the tea. Pure bliss!RW: And finally, what is your favorite word and why?HUGH: Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwyll-llantysiliogogogoch – go on, I dare you to check it out. It’s a real Welsh word. If I can’t chose that word because it’s not an English word, then I’d say “Twist” Not in the dance or pain sense, but in the story sense. I love a story or movie with a great twist or two in it.I want to thank Hugh for the interview and what I have to say was an enjoyable time. Make sure to visit and follow him at Hugh’s Views & News and also on Twitter at @RobertHughes05. Also click Hugh’s favorite Bananarama song below and watch him dance along. I like to have a little fun with those guests that have that touch of humor about them. All that’s missing are the long socks and sandals he loves to wear.
2014 © Copyright-All rights reserved-RonovanWrites.wordpress.com
When Ronovan Met Miss Maple (on Skype) – Part 3
Read Hugh’s Latest in the mystery of Grammar Black Market.
Where does Hugh end up?
What is it with him and Oreos anyway?
Read now before the next installment later today here on RonovanWrites with
Part 2 The L.A.W. Comes to Town: A Kiss is Just a Kiss
The case of the disappearing
H
G
H
When Ronovan Met Miss Maple (on Skype) – Part 2
Read Hugh’s most recent episode of our ongoing mystery. Then read mine tomorrow! I can’t guarantee it will be good, but I will say this . . . it’s different. muahahahahahaaha And just who is The L.A.W.?
Much Respect and Love to Y’all
Ronovan
Extra! Extra! Rose & Ghun Bust Hugh Roberts For Letter Hoarding!
For the beginning of this adventure you may want to read
When Ronovan Met Miss Maple (On Skype) Part 1 – A Response to Ronovan at Ronovan Writes
From Hugh Roberts of Hugh’s Views & News and hear his side of the story and why I called in Rose & Ghun.
Strange things happen in strange places. And when Hugh Roberts is involved they just turn down right weird. Being Southern I am a laid back kind of person that drifts along life as if tubing down the Chattahooche River through Georgia. Sure there may be some white water along the way, such as was used in the 1996 Olympics, but you get through it and end up fine.
Then a whirling dervish of a British man comes along with his Miss Maybohleen and the leftover mushroom pizza causes some interesting ocular fallacies. At least that’s my story and I’m stickin’ to it.
When my friend Hugh and his friend Miss Marzipan contacted me through Skype I was quite surprised as I had months ago lost the password to Skype and the device scares me for some reason. Having spoken with Hugh on a number of occasions electronically I had noticed there was a difference in our spellings of various words. He called in Miss Maypenny who in all honesty and with great respect I must say did not bring about a solution. I worry that maybe there was not a enough tea and perhaps too much medicinal purposes in her cup of Joe. I’m saying she was a wing short of a wingnut if you get what I’m drivin’ at.
I called in Rose & Ghun, two detectives a few states away. I knew Trevor Rose from my Magnolia state days. He’s Rose and she’s Monika Ghun. And as their names indicate–he takes the names of the butts she’s kickin’. They arrived in no time. And amazingly enough they didn’t dance their way up to my door.
“Ron, I hope this is important, we are still working out how to handle the Stratford Family,” said Rose.
He acted like I should know about the Bradford Family. I knew eight’s’ enough so I moved on. I couldn’t help but notice Ghun. Her obvious Asian and African American background had combined to form a very pleasing to the eye masterpiece. “Umm, well Trevor, it’s like this. For some reason my conversations of late have lost the letter ‘U’ in them.”
Ghun stopped her foot tapping as she leaned against the wall. The thoughts that had been vaguely dancing at the corners of my mind, okay 
they were slam dancing trying to break through, died down slightly at her stare. I had heard rumors about her but they were only that until proven otherwise. “We drove through the night and all of those hours for a spelling test problem?” She asked. The voice made my head slam slightly to the side. “You’re a bit old for the spelling bee aren’t you?”
“That’s right. Well no, I mean to say that . . . well when talking about my favorite color, you see there are two ‘U’s missing,” I said. “Then there is the case of this crazy hallucination we had about some type of ship at the end of our conversation, but that may have been the left over mushroom pizza.”
“Skype waves,” said Rose. “There have been theories only of visual chatting devices causing mass hallucinations all over the world. As for the ‘U’ problem…”
“I’m fine speaking it seems. It’ writing the words that seem to be the problem,'” I said. “I was hoping y’all would fix it.”
I don’t know why Rose knelt down on my living room floor, but he suddenly became all broody and I swear it became darker. It was like nighttime had come already. You would have thought he was looking at a dead body or something. Ghun was still leaning against the wall with her arms crossed and one foot back against the wall. How she looked as if she were not feeling the humidity in all that black leather including the little jacket was beyond me, but I wasn’t complaining.
I was a gentleman, I wasn’t dead . . . yet.
“Reminds me of some of the guys we ran into at Down Under Mike’s,” said Rose. I had to lean in to hear him. He looked up at Ghun who slowly began to nod.
“Their ‘H’s,” she said. I think that’s what she said. Her dark hair shimmered and flowed with each nod as if it were water.
“So what does that mean for me?” I asked.
“You aren’t missing any ‘U’s,” said Rose as he stood.
“I’m not?”
“No, the British have kept them from being exported so they can keep them for themselves. It’s a commonly known practice on the Grammar Black Market,” he said. “Don’t worry about it. If you really want to say col our instead of col or, then just break it up into two words like that.”
“Trevor, we’re out of here,” said Ghun. “We still have to find Miles before Martin and the rest get to him. If not there will be a world of suck going on.”
“You ever need anything else like this call Amanda Lyle. She’ll be able to help you,” said Trevor Rose and the two disappeared out my door.
“Whoa,” I said. Moi herself? Was she secretly some crime fighting mistress, mastress, master . . . guru?
“Oh, Ronovan, who were those colourful people? Your favourite exterminators?” Hugh asked from the computer screen. I had forgotten it was still on.
“Bless your heart, Hugh, they were detectives. I knew Trevor from back in my Magnolia days. He says y’alls trade practices are the reason for some of the unnecessary ‘U’s missing from my words.”
“Oh really,” said Hugh as he dunked an Oreo in a cup of something that looked like weak coffee. “Hmm, you know that does make a lot of sense. The government over here really has no clue at times, but then you would be sympathetic to that, what with your limping fowl in office.”
“Hugh, I really don’t understand you a times,” I said shaking my head. “Biscuits and cookies, chips and fries? And I suppose you’re going to deny that a woman wrote all of Shakespeare’s plays next and Piers Morgan the former editor of The Daily Mirror and News of the World who was highly associated with phone tapping and cellphone tapping isn’t really a cousin of yours. I think y’all does protest too dang much.”
“Ronovan, I heard a rumor during this cruel summer that he’s got tact. But that may have been a careless whisper and that is the last thing on my mind. Love, truth, and honesty, I can’t help it, preacher man, I’m just a shy boy who lives the wild life and if you can’t take that then do not disturb me. I want you back as a friend, cause it t’aint what you do. Cheers then.” The Skype window went blank.
That was the strangest rambling I had ever heard from Hugh. I went to the window and looked up. It was indeed night time. I could see what might have been Venus, but was probably a trick of the night. My mind went to Rose & Ghun. I was glad for their help an didn’t envy whoever the Stratford Family was because there was some rough justice ahead.
I thought about calling Nathan Jones, an old friend of mine who might help me with the Grammar Black Market. I wondered if he still had that old van of his. It was every shade of blue and could only move in one direction, forward. The reverse didn’t work. Well enough of that.
I sat back down at my desk and began to work on my story about being young at heart. The main character, well he was really sayin’ somethin’ to the leading lady about ‘only your love can take me to your heart’. She looked back at him and said “Love don’t live here.” He grabbed his chest. “If you want your heart look on the floor, and if the cops ask, I’m the one that did it, I committed love in the first degree,” she said.
She began to walk away but fell. She turned and glared at me. “I’m always tripping on your love. Here, I found love and now it’s set on you,” she said and put his heart back on his sleeve.
I looked down at the page and thought, more, more, more. Robert De Niro’s waiting for this after filming Long Train Runnin’ with Mr. Bean.
I wonder what Hugh is going to do with all those Oreos and weak coffee? And what about that lady Shakespeare author?
For the next episode in this tale of ne’er do wells read:
When Ronovan Met Miss Maple (on Skype) – Part 2
From Hugh at Hugh’s Views & News then come back and meet The L.A.W. in the first part of their involvement:
Hugh is Diasppearing! What does Ronovan do?: The LAW comes to town
2014 © Copyright-All rights reserved-RonovanWrites.wordpress.com
When Ronovan Met Miss Maple (On Skype) Part 1 – A Response to Ronovan at Ronovan Writes
This is Hugh’s response to a response of a response . . . well you get where I’m going. But his is why I called in Rose & Ghun to take care of him!
I Speak with . . . Suzie81Speaks.
One of the first blogs I started following when I began my own site was a lot of fun to read. I liked the humor with a bit of sass and a bit of class. Women love to read her because she lays out it out there real and like they wish they could say it sometimes or have said it and are happy to find someone to show them that they aren’t the only ones that feel that way. Men read her because she writes about universal things and well . . . let’s be honest . . . the eyes and that grin . . .
What was I saying . . . oh well let me just say this . . . meet . . .
What was I saying . . . oh well let me just say this . . . meet . . .
Suzie
Suzi81 Speaks
@suzie81blog
RW: Suzie, first of all, where do you live, reside, crash, blog, basically where does The Suzie81 hang her umbrella?
SUZIE: In my head I live in a beautiful beach house on the coast. Unfortunately, my wallet hasn’t caught up with my little fantasy world and I live in a small terraced house on the outskirts of Birmingham, England’s second largest city, with The Bloke and two cats. I hate the curtains, but it’s cosy and comfortable and next to a beautiful park.
RW: You have a career that to me, one who knows, makes blogging really a chore, can you tell my Friends a bit about what you do?
SUZIE: I’m a music teacher by profession. I work with teenagers, and I’m lucky that my school is well managed, well resourced and I am surrounded by lovely staff and students. I teach my students all about music – one of my biggest influences throughout my life – how to play it, understand it, appreciate it. I try to incorporate lots of different genres and artists into the lessons, aside from anything by One Direction and Justin Bieber. They’re banned from my classroom. Oh, and Celine Dion’s ‘My Heart Will Go On.’ It’s the first song that everyone teaches themself on the piano and after eight years of listening to it I have to resist the urge to stab myself in the eyeball repeatedly.
RW: I know that your career as a teacher recently just put you in a place where writing content for your site was near impossible. I know how much you love your site and your readers, how did you handle not having the mental energy to probably even enjoy a TV show let alone write for your site?
SUZIE: I find it difficult when things get ridiculously busy as blogging is a stress relief – an outlet for any pent up frustrations that have built up during the day. However, when I’m mentally exhausted I find the best thing to do is write down some ideas and store them in my notes until later, retreat to the couch wearing a comfortable pair of jammies and watch something that makes me laugh. I then revisit ideas later when I’m in a better mood.
RW: This is going to seem like an odd question but do you ever sit back and think about living in a country so filled with history?
SUZIE: My mother and sister have always been fascinated with British history and so I have grown up being surrounded by endless books on the subject. However, it was only in my early twenties that I started to really appreciate the heritage that my country has, and over the years I have become a bit of a tourist. I particularly like London and I try and visit several times a year so I can just wander around and take everything in. I also live quite close to Stratford -Upon -Avon, Shakespeares birthplace, and I like to visit there. I’ve always been a royalist and love going to all the palaces, cathedrals and museums.
RW: Where do your blog ideas come from? Do you just sit down and it happens or does something have to spark before you sit down?
SUZIE: It varies. They can be inspired by something I’ve read, a comment that has been made or something will randomly pop into my head and I’ll write it down before I forget it. The post ‘23 Things You Should Actually Do Before You’re 23‘ was written in response to a post that really angered me. My most popular post, ‘How To Know When You’re a Teacher‘ is a collection of things that I have learnt from the experience that I and my colleagues have had in the profession. ‘No Means No!’ was created after the Santa Barbara murders earlier in the year. If I’m busy, I’ll make a note of it and write it up later, and sometimes I’ll sit at the laptop, write and see what happens.
RW: What is your blogging space like?
SUZIE: I’ve seen pictures of other people’s blogging spaces and I’ve been left feeling envious of the clean desk, the pastel coloured walls, the beautiful flowers that surround it. My space, however, consists of a couch, usually with a cat asleep at each side of me. The TV is usually on in the background. The Bloke is asleep next to me. It’s calm and quiet usually.
RW: Tell us a little about The Bloke? (Why do I for some reason think of Sex in the City and Mr. Big every time she mentions “The Bloke”?)
SUZIE: The Bloke is a legend. He’s a little older than me (he’s 45, I’m 32) and we’ve been together for four and a half years. He’s the sensible one, once comparing me to a children’s TV presenter (I’m still not sure how to take that), he’s a computer genius, a silver fox, a fabulous photographer and loves all things geeky. Believe it or not, I had no idea about the difference between Marvel and DC before I met him. I now not only know the difference, but I’ve seen all the films and live with his extensive comic collection. And his Lego, most of which I’ve bought for him.
RW: I always wanted to be Captain America as kid . . . and now really, which hero would you want to be or what power would you want?
SUZIE: I don’t have a favourite marvel superhero. However, I would love to be locked in a room with all the male members of the Avengers. They might be tough, but I’d love to see them attempt to get away from a crazed northern woman…
Confession time here folks. Why is Suzie one of my favorite bloggers? Is it the hair, the eyes, the grin? Is it her writing, her wit, her ire that shows itself at times? Well yes . . . but stay with me. It’s her Twitter account photo. She’s standing in front of, yes . . . Captain America. And I am a huge Captain America fan with my prized comic book collection item being Captain America #100. Were Suzie and I thrown together by fate? Sigh. Perhaps. And then there was that last answer.
10 Minutes Later After Comic Boy Geek Dreamdom
RW: How supportive of your blogging endeavors is Mr. Big The Bloke in as far as getting involved maybe to help you with going certain places for photos?
SUZIE: It was his suggestion that I started the blog in the first place, but since that initial suggestion he tends to keep out of it. I read out posts to him and ask him for advice, and the general response that I get from him is ‘yeah’ and a shrug of the shoulders, because he has no idea what sort of advice he thinks I want, but I know that he is proud of me. He is very supportive when I achieve something. When I was Freshly Pressed [Professional or Hobbyist] he printed out copies of it to save… It was very sweet. I’m quite independent when it comes to content, so he doesn’t need to take me out anywhere for photos – I’ll go myself or he’ll come with me and we’ll make a day of it.
RW: Speaking of photography, you list that as one of the things you enjoy and we’ve seen evidence of that on your site, what type of camera do you use? Go ahead and baffle me with the technical mumbo jumbo. I have Friends reading this that will eat it up.
SUZIE: I’d love to have an SLR, but I have a Canon SX270 HS that works as well as many SLR’s I’ve seen. Technical 
mumbo jumbo? I wish I could give lots of brilliant advice about settings, but I’
m still learning. My best advice? Take as many pictures as you can. In every hundred pictures I take there is usually only one or two that I would consider to be any good.
Suzie thought this wasn’t technical? She spoke in Hieroglyphics as far as I’m concerned. Why do I keep asking these ladies about their cameras? And why is it the British are the ones I keep asking? And why is the British bloggers I keep interviewing? Is it the accent? Think about that one for a moment and see if it makes sense to you.
RW: How much did you know about websites and the like before starting your own blog?
SUZIE: Absolutely nothing. I had a Facbook page, and that was as complicated as it got. It’s been a lot of trial and error – deleting, adding, experimenting. I’ve changed my theme many times and spent a lot of time messing about with colours, fonts. I’m still not happy with my layout, but I’m getting there!
RW: You’ve been at this for over a year and have a great following, but at times you must run into those bad ‘blokes’ that just are not very nice, how do you handle a person who seems to simply comment to be a problem?
SUZIE: I’ve been lucky in that I’ve only experienced one or two negative comments (most of them being from irate women in response to a negative post I wrote about Justin Bieber), but I have had to deal with one or two men that weren’t particularly nice. One kept requesting the link to my personal Facebook page, and another, well, I’m not going to go into it but it wasn’t a pleasant experience.
RW: I’ve been lucky as well in not having any really negative feedback but even some messages sent my way about content focus hurts. What’s your advice?
SUZIE: I make sure that I blacklist IP addresses where necessary and I have my comments set so that I moderate each one first. The key is to try and not take things too personally – there are always going to be troll-like figures lurking around the Internet. It’s also important to appreciate those who take the time to leave something positive – it doesn’t necessarily mean that they have to agree with you, but followers who are polite, friendly and respectful and ones worth holding onto.
RW: I’m a content fiend just because I have no impulse control, but I know burnout is probably imminent for me, so for the brand new bloggers how often do you advise people to put out new content?
SUZIE: It depends what your blogging goals are. If you are writing for you and only you, then post whatever and whenever. However, if you are hoping to create a regular readership I think that it is more of a question of content than how often you post. Content is the key to any blog if you want it to be a success. There aren’t any rules about how often you should post – I follow blogs that post daily, weekly and monthly, but my best advice is to make sure that what you are putting out there is something that you are proud of. Of course, the more often you post, the more likely that your blog is likely to be seen, but the content needs to entice your readers to keep coming back for more.
RW: Other than my blog, which I know MUST be your favorite, what types of blogs do you like to follow?
SUZIE: All sorts! Poetry (mainly because I have the poetic talent of a walnut), craft, lifestyle, humour… This morning I read posts about running, a sleepy cat, a poem about lost love and a movie review of Guardians of The Galaxy. I like variety. The more interesting blogs are personal, well laid out and contain photographs.
Note that I included the part about me being her favorite blog after I asked the question. Can you blame me? I wonder if she will notice?
RW: Have you ever wanted to just throw your hands in the air and say “NO MORE BLOG”?
SUZIE: Never. It’s genuinely the first thing that I’ve truly been interested in doing in years. I’ve experienced blog burnout and had to give myself a break for a few days, but there has never been a point in which I wanted to give up. It has now become a part of my life – my blog is incorporated into my daily routine and I have put hours and hours of blood, sweat and tears into creating something that I’m really proud of – it would be such a waste of time to get rid of it. Change it, yes, add to it, yes, but never delete it.
RW: What’s the funniest comment that a reader has made on your blog that first comes to mind?
SUZIE: I’ve had so many that its impossible to choose the funniest of all time, but I do remember that Steve Says made a comment recently when I was talking about The Bloke, proclaiming that he was ‘my lobster.’ I haven’t seen that episode of Friends in years and it cracked me up.
“Come on, you guys. It’s a known fact that lobsters fall in love and mate for life. You know what? You can actually see old lobster couples walkin’ around their tank, you know, holding claws like..”
GIFSoup
GIFSoup
“See, he’s her lobster.”
GIFSoupRW: When I read your blog and look at it I get the sense of ‘professional’ in that you don’t do things haphazardly and you don’t get to crazy like I do. Where do you want your blog to lead you?
GIFSoupRW: When I read your blog and look at it I get the sense of ‘professional’ in that you don’t do things haphazardly and you don’t get to crazy like I do. Where do you want your blog to lead you?
SUZIE: Honestly? I’ve no idea, but I love the possibilities. When I initially started the blog it was a form of therapy and I had no expectations, and I certainly couldn’t have predicted the direction that it has already taken me and the amazing people that I have met along the way.Now, I’m quite excited about all the things that I could do with it.
RW: I definitely agree that blogging is great therapy. Is there a book idea in the mind of Suzie, if so then would you give us a general idea about it and if you have put work into it yet?
SUZIE: I’m not a creative writer so fictional stories are never going to happen, but I have contemplated the idea of putting together a compilation of my favourite posts. The problem is that I don’t know who would be interested in buying something like that. I’d have to consider a target audience a little more…
RW: When does Suzie81 Speaks find time for her social life and what does she do during her favorite social life moments, her escape and getaway moments?
SUZIE: One word… Karaoke. If it isn’t a school night and there’s a microphone, I’m there. My best friend runs a karaoke night at the pub that he works at every Friday, so when I really need to unwind that’s where you’ll find me. My social life doesn’t really exist during the week, but I like to meet up with friends at the weekends and we’ll go for a meal, to the cinema or around to each others houses for a catch-up. If I want to escape I go out for a day trip somewhere – to the park, into the city, on a train somewhere, to the spa. I did once decide to go to Malaga for the weekend for my friend’s birthday and spent Saturday afternoon lying on the beach. As it was in the middle of term time, the flights were dirt cheap. I think I need to do that again.
RW: What is something you do that’s a hidden talent that maybe only your close friends know about?
SUZIE: I can make my stomach expand to the point where I look heavily pregnant. I stood next to my friend when she was 24 weeks and we looked the same size . . . perhaps it’s not a talent, more of a party trick . . .
RW: I can do that too . . . without trying . . . and it’s not a trick. Umm . . is Suzie a great dancer?
SUZIE: Suzie likes to think that she is, particularly after consuming her own body weight in cider. Unfortunately, comparisons have been made with a frog in a blender – arms and legs everywhere – and I don’t think that Beyonce or her backing dancers will be losing sleep anytime soon.
RW: We need a video of that, seriously. I think our followers need to start a vote on your blog for it. What’s the one talent you would like to have that you don’t?
SUZIE: Dance. Again, resembling a frog in a blender proves to be a problem.
RW: I see a pattern here. What is your favorite outfit?
SUZIE: I have a dress that I bought for my 30th birthday. It’s black, strapless and figure hugging. It’s beautiful. Unfortunately, it doesn’t currently fit (i’ve enjoyed my food a little too much recently) but I’m working on it.
RW: With ‘The Block’ in your life and the mention of the dress, what is romance to you?
SUZIE: I’m not a romantic, despite owning almost every romantic comedy on DVD from the last 20 years. While I love the idea, in reality I would be likely to laugh in The Bloke’s face if he gave me the speech from When Harry Met Sally, or stood outside my bedroom window holding a ghetto blaster above his head. We did, however, once sit by the Seine in Paris and watch the sunset behind the Eiffel Tower, and left a love lock on the bridge behind Notre Dame Cathedral. I suppose romance to me is not hugely wild gestures, it’s things that happen on a daily basis. When I got an ‘Oustanding’ in the last OFSTED inspection, he wrote me a card telling me how proud he was of me and that he loved me, presented me with a bracelet in a beautiful box, made me a lovely dinner and rubbed my feet. Yesterday, he attended a wedding with me, and sat holding my hand. He opens doors, kisses me on the top of my head as he walks past at home and tells me he loves me. My apologies to your readers, I can practically hear them vomiting into buckets as I write…
RW: Young Russell Crowe or Hugh Jackman?
SUZIE: Young Hugh Jackman. Middle aged Hugh Jackman. Fifty year old Hugh Jackman. Hugh Jackman without a shirt. Mmm… Hugh Jackman. However, the ultimate man is Dolph Lundgren. I’ve had a crush on him since I first watched Masters of the Universe when I was about six yeas old. I even have an autographed framed print of him in my bedroom. He’s a truly beautiful man.
RW: Did not see that one coming. What is your favorite comedic show to watch?
SUZIE: I love sitcoms like The Big Bang Theory and have seen every episode of Friends about thirty times, but I particularly like British comedies that have a slightly eclectic humour like Spaced, Green Wing, Blackadder and Bottom. I love live stand up shows – Eddie Murphy’s ‘Raw’ is still one f the funniest things I’ve ever seen.
Has to be one of my favorite answers ever. I loved hearing of TV shows I know nothing about. It shows me how much I don’t know about other cultures. Loved.
RW: What is your favorite scent/aroma/fragrance and why?
SUZIE: Stella by Stella McCartney. I love the stuff and make sure that it’s on my birthday list every year. I’ve been stopped in the street by people who have asked what perfume I’m wearing because I apparently smell nice. Unfortunately, there’s also a very popular brand of beer that has the same name, so on occasions I’ve had to explain that I don’t bathe in lager. Although, there’s an idea.
RW: What is your favorite beverage?
SUZIE: Mojito. Original Mojito, strawberry Mojito, raspberry Mojito.
(Traditionally, a mojito is a cocktail that consists of five ingredients: white rum, sugar (traditionally sugar cane juice), lime juice, sparkling water, and mint.)
RW: What is your favorite word and why?
SUZIE: Chuff. It has many uses and connotations in my world, but I like to use it in the context of ‘tighter than a gnat’s chuff.’ Take from that what you will…
Well on that note, and I am hoping Suzie was not referring to me specifically with that last one . . . I want to thank Suzie for agreeing to an interview. This one has been a long time in coming, what with her busy work schedule. I hope you all enjoyed it. I can’t believed she answered everything.
All Images © Copyright-All rights reserved-Suzie81Speaks.com
2014 © Copyright-All rights reserved-RonovanWrites.wordpress.com
It landed in muh front yard.-Response to Hugh of Hugh’s Views & News
I was sittin’ out on thuh front porch ponderin’ sumthin’ fierce. I was wonderin’ how I could batter and fry a hamburger. I had done see one of them there guys on that little talkin’ picture box do it but I weren’t sure iffin’ I was up fer it. Also I was wonderin’ how Britain hadn’t become over popluated after so many centuries of existence with rainy weather. I also wondered if they, meanin’ them British type folks were wantin’ Charles to be king for a day and then hand it over to William or what. Would 007 come out of retirement tuh help Scotland become a nation or whatever is goin’ on? I’m part Scotish an’ need tuh look into that there problem.
That ain’t got nuthin’ tuh do with this story. I took another swig of muh peanuts an’ Coke as sumthin’ strange came flyin’ up thuh driveway an’ landed in thuh front yard next tuh muh car . . . up on cement blocks as I was workin’ tuh git ‘er done fixed up super fancy like.
Then ‘it’ got out of it. I say ‘it’ because at first I didn’t know what ‘it’ was. I was afeerd it might be some alien thuh way it was drivin’ . . . steering wheel on the right. Then I figured out it was a fancy dude with this straw hat thing an’ a blue jacket thing on. The dude put his hands on his hips an’ looked around with a smile on his face, hummin’ some song that sounded kind uh familiar. Then it happened. He started walkin’.
I don’t know quite what that song was in his head but it must uh caused that feller tuh do that spinnin’ dancin’ thing. He spun so faced his straw hat didn’t have time to move. He just spun under it. He turned bright yellow as he did it too. And then he was at muh steps.
“Why hello there,” he said.
“You ain’t from around here is yuh?” I asked.
“How ever could you tell? Was it the steering wheel on the right side? Is it my lovely accent?”
“Nah,” I replied, I weren’t much into talkin’ in person.
“Then please do enlighten me.”
“You spun clockwise durin’ that fancy dance you just did.”
“Oh, dance?” He looked a might bit confused. I could see thuh cylinders doin’ there work inside his head an’ then thuh light bulb went off. “You mean my walk? You are such a funny man.” He looked at my car. “Quite a nice banger you have there.”
I kind uh just went with it at that point. “Thanks.” I heard thuh word nice so figured it was a good thing he done said. “Well I reckon you ain’t here on purpose, so what you want?”
“I am lookin’ fer, I mean looking for, heavens your accent is certainly very Southern American, anyway I am visiting here and was watching the Beeb while bone-idle I saw a program about people and their bits and bobs and was inspired to venture out into the countryside to see what I could see. I was doing quite well but I first was nearly run off the carriageway by a brute in an artic and then I became trapped behind a caravan. Now I am desperate to find a chip shop and a chemist.”
I stared.
And stared some more.
He was rubbin’ his hind parts so I reckoned the chemist might have meant doctor for some hind parts problem. Thuh Sip n’ Dip Quick Stop had a lot of chips so I thought I might could help him out.
I stood up an’ walked down into thuh yard. The lose board almost got me again but I won this time. I rubbed my fingers across thuh stubble of my face and rubbed my belly as I ciphered out what tuh do.
“Now you first gotta go out back thuh way you came up thuh driveway an’ then take a left on to thuh road. You’ll pass thuh old bait shop on yer right but it’s closed now. Keep goin’ and you’ll come to a roundabout they put in not long ago. You just keep movin’ if their ain’t nobody a comin’ or you git their first. Just go counterclockwise. Then when thuh road deadends you’ll come out on thuh highway. Take a right and head on fer about 5 miles an’ you’ll come to a big building on yer right. Go inside and you’ll be on thuh ground floor. When you get in the elevator you’ll know you done got it right cause the G will light up and the little light will come on next to the silver button with a G on it. Go up to the first floor by pushin’ that 1 button. Lady right there will help you out for sure.”
He was starin’ at me.
An’ starin’.
“You have roundabouts?”
“Yeah, just stay to thuh right and won’t be wrong. I always wondered about that counterclockwise thing but I reckon it must be somthin’ about everything being about entering buildings through thuh right doors and exiting through thuh lefts, so they do the same with the roundabouts an’ roads.”
“And ground floors?”
“Well they on thuh ground ain’t they? What do ya’ call ‘em where you come from?”
“Ground floors.”
“I bet if someone called ’em uh first floor that sure would send you off on a hunt. An’ I almost fergot that chip place you can find along thuh way too.”
“Thank you so very much.” With a twirl he was off, humming his way back into his car and disappearing down the driveway.
Grandma came out. “What was that?”
“Guy from Boston looking for directions.”
“I heard you give him directions to the hospital but why did you send him up to the psychiatric ward.”
“Grandma, I figured they would either be able to figure out what he done said, or know what tuh do with him one.”
“Ronovan, you’ve been in the sun a while, have you burned?”
I slid my foot out of my flip flop and pulled down the sock. “Does look a might pink compared tuh the catfish belly white, don’t it?”
“You get in the house.”
I need me one of them over the pond type folks to answer muh questions. Heard tell there was uh guy named Hugh that might be able tuh help out. I wonder if they want Pippa to marry Harry, and would that make her Princess Pippa? Anyways, maybe that Hugh guy can tell us somethin’.
I Reckon That’s All
Ronovan
2014 © Copyright-All rights reserved-RonovanWrites.wordpress.com
Did you ever wonder . . . in a British accent?
Did you ever wonder?
Very likely your answer to that question is yes. If not perhaps you will now wonder why I thought it should be. So now that we have all wondered about something, let us continue.
It was about 10 PM one night recently and I suddenly started thinking in British. And oddly ‘Venus’ by Bananarama was running through my brain. And I started this crazy dance without any reason at all. I felt like I was in stand up spin cycle washing machine or something.
Have you ever had that happen to you? No . . . well of late it happens to me quite often. Fortunately I was able to get out of my bubble bath but had to skip the Super Walmart excursion as my socks were not clean anyway and I hate the way my sandals feel on my bare feet. You know that sweaty icky feeling. If rubber then you wonder if some jelly baby is sucking at your feet, if leather than the cow is attempting to become a symbiote with your toes to live again. Yes, these thoughts do run through my mind. And really why DOES a nose run and feet smell? And what happens when the nose runs and meets the smelling feet? I need to know before 3 AM when I go to sleep.
No, that is not why I am dragging you through my quaint little village of a blog. My suddenly British thinking mind has questions.
Why are French Fries called chips in Britain? Is it xenophobia against the French? Is there a ban on using anything that sounds unhealthily like the word fry? Why not Fish and Fries? In Britain when making fried chicken is it called chipped chicken? When ordering at McDonald’s does the person taking said order ask if you would like chips with that?
And I know you know I must ask about the cookies being called biscuits. Need I really go into this? Does Ernie the Keebler Elf talk about chocolate chip biscuits? And I am still wondering about the dipping the cookie biscuit in tea. I don’t understand. And why would you drink something called Grey? Have you not read the books? You might catch 50 Shades of an STD.
Now for the really odd question burning in my brain; why the wrong side of the road driving? Are all people in Britain left handed? Are you not afraid that you will shift gears in a zig zag formation and around the world snap? I mean really people, what is . . . the . . .deal? Oh I know, perhaps Britain is where all of the mail carriers in America secretly come from. I mean why else would they have those jeeps with the wheel switched over in order to reach the mailbox? Oh, and what do they do in Britain? Do they move the wheel to the left side of the vehicle for mail carriers?
And now finally, Blood Sausage, what? I cannot fathom the mind that thought “Let us name this meaty type thing blood so people will love it”. Why? I really do ask why?
I will not ask about Piers Morgan and why you sent him here. Perhaps it was a secret plan for a new invasion. And why is he named after a place where sailors gather? Hmm? Do you know? Piers, you can tell us.
I leave you with this and perhaps anyone English British will have it running through their heads the rest of the day. And perhaps my friend Hugh of Hugh’s News and Views would be able to answer these questions . . . that is when he is not dunking cookies in 50 Shades of STDs.
Much Respect
Ronovan
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Meet Hugh’s Views & News-Interview
I blog. Amazing discovering isn’t it? Being a blogger you also follow other bloggers. Sometimes you don’t know how you ended up making the acquaintance of someone, yes I can make that joke about myself but no one else can (amnesiac rights), but you are glad you did stumble upon someone. One such person grabbed my attention not only because he liked my attempts at writing, but one day a photograph he posted jumped out at me. No it did not literally leap from the page, at least I don’t think it did. Perhaps he has sort of 3D Mac power. Yes, I am afraid to say that he is one of . . . those people.
Thinking now perhaps it was 3D and knocked the memory out of me. I do have a habit of following it hitting my head. But I do have the memory that this man took a photograph that I loved enough to remember that of him and that means the world to me. Memories to me now are made more of impressions than of actual images.
So let me introduce to you, The one and only. . . wait wrong song now . . . on a mountain top, burning like a silver flame . . .
Hugh Roberts
Hugh’s Views & News
RW: Hugh, I googled your name in fun because I love your name and it has such a strength of character about it that I just knew it had to be famous. Are you the same Hugh Roberts who was in charge of Windsor Castle after the fire in 1992 and was also director of Christie’s, the auction house?
HUGH: Gee, that’s really kind of you, but no, I am not him. I have many times though, been introduced as Hugh Grant or Huw Edwards (for those of your followers outside of the UK, the latter is a famous BBC news reader over here). I suppose the mix up occurs because there aren’t many of us ‘Hughs’ around. I’ve never been asked for an autograph after being introduced as Hugh Grant, but I have on the odd occasional been stared at for a long period of time and imagined the word ‘really?’ going through that person’s mind as they stand there open mouthed and gobsmacked at Hugh Grant standing in front of them.
RW: There go all of those artsy questions. Hmm . . . So you’re English . . . I don’t know why it is the English Bloggers seem to fascinate me. Beatles or the Stones?
HUGH: There’s your first ‘strike’, Ronovan. I like to refer to myself as Welsh or better still, British. I’m very proud to be British. I have nothing against being called English, after all I currently live in England and speak English, but calling a Welsh or Scottish person English, is like being at one of those self check-out machines at the supermarket and the machine says to you “there is an unexpected item in the baggage area, please remove the item” and you’ve not put anything there! You get just a little irate. Only a little, so no need to get out those boxing gloves yet . I guess you thought I was English because of the way my name is spelt, yeah? Well, OK, I’ll take that strike away then, after all it is the English spelling of Hugh I use and not the Welsh spelling as Huw Edwards uses. My parents have a lot to answer for on that one.As for Beatles or the Stones, neither for me. I’d have to go for Bananarma,
the British all girl group with the Guinness world record for the all female group with the most chart entries in the world. Their songs bring back so many happy memories for me.
RW: Sigh . . .’your my Venus your my’ . . . oh, yes, interview. Okay now onto more serious things, well that was serious but anyway, I am a big fan of your photography which is odd because you write a lot and I enjoy that as well, but tell me about your flowers and your gardening. You don’t even have to leave your home for great photos.
HUGH: We have a beautiful garden, but to be perfectly honest with you, I absolutely hate gardening. I have no interest in it at all. Don’t get me wrong, I love to sit and relax in the garden, but when it comes to gardening, I’m about as interested as a mannequin would be viewing my holiday pictures.
RW: Then where does the garden come from, Bananarama and their Venus power? (Mind drifting to the one with the short blonde hair ‘yeah baby she’s got it’. . . sigh.) Hugh, you carry on with the interview without me.
HUGH: All the credit for the beautiful plants in our garden, has to go to my partner, John. He’s the one that grew the plants which I took the photographs of. I’ve only just started to show an interest in photography, so it’s very early days for me, but a few I have posted on my blog seem to have attracted a little bit of attention. That in turn has spurred me on to taking more and I’m beginning now to really enjoy the challenges of taking photos as much as I do with the WordPress writing challenges I sometimes take part in.
RW: Tell my Friends about where you live that produces those great flowers in your photos.
HUGH: We currently live in Hove, known by some as “Hove Actually” because of the Alfred Hitchcock 1938 movie ‘The Lady Vanishes’ when Miss Froy, one of the characters, refers to herself as coming from Brighton and then goes on to say “well, Hove actually, just down the coast”. It’s situated in the county of East Sussex and is on the south coast of the UK, just over fifty miles south of London. Many people know our bigger neighbour, Brighton, far better, but the two now form a conurbation along with some other smaller towns and villages along the coast. Hove was first established right back in the 12th century, so has been around for a very long time. We have a wonderful climate, plenty of sunshine and rain, which helps the garden blossom.
RW: And I’ll go ahead and ask for my Photo Geek Friends, what type of camera do you use? Go ahead and be all techno numbers and all of that for those that speak Cameranese.
HUGH: Would you believe it if I said I take all my photos on an iPhone 4? Well, that’s where they have all come from. I love all things ‘Apple’ and am probably a marketing dream for them. iMac, iPad, iPhone, iCloud, Apple TV, I have it all, thanks to all the Apple Vouchers I get for Christmas and Birthdays (I’m so easy to buy for, so please take note). Between us, we once had five, I kid you not, five iPads! OK, some were from the very early days and I’ve sold a few since then, but I can not walk past the Apple store without having to go inside. That’s why I had to write my latest short story, ‘The Truth App’, in honour of the staff at our local Apple store.
RW: (I told you he was one of . . . those people.) And tell us about your love of the Cardigan Welsh Corgi.
HUGH: Well, it’s over to my partner, John, here, because he was the one that wanted to get a dog and it had to be a Cardigan Welsh Corgi. I suppose with us both being Welsh, we had to have a Welsh dog, but it was when John first saw one at Crufts, that he had to get one. What we did not know is that these dogs are on the vulnerable breeds lists here in the UK, with less than 100 being born every year. Originally they were bred for herding cattle and I understand they are still used for that purpose over in the States. Ours is called Toby and he’s become a bit of a star over on my blog recently, having now posted two posts about some of the walks he goes on. When I wrote those posts, I wrote them as if I were him, so from his perspective, and I’ve had some really positive comments left on those posts. When my sister was over on a visit from Australia recently, she referred to him as a “little human”. I guess that’s because we do spoil him a lot, but many people have also told us what a wonderful character he has. He knows the words, walk, chicken, cheese, custard, sausage, rice pudding, and mince pies (at Christmas time) and seems to even know what day of the week it is. He’s one clever chap.
RW: Once everyone stops looking at Toby tell us where you get your inspiration from for your stories?
HUGH: Lots of places really, some strange, some not so strange. Take for example my short story, Last Train to Aldwych. Grace Simmons, the main character in that story, introduced herself and told me her story while I was doing a pile of ironing. As soon as I had finished ironing that last sock (no, I don’t really iron socks, honestly!), I sat down and wrote the story. Other stories have come from prompts and WordPress writing challenges, while the inspiration for others have come from other bloggers. I’m currently working on a two-part short story which came as an inspiration from a photo I saw on one of the blogs I follow. The author doesn’t know it yet, but I’ll be asking if I can use their photo so I can include it in the post. My passion is for writing short stories and although they do not get as many views as my photo posts do, I’m very proud of myself for not letting the fact that I have dyslexia get in my way anymore. I used to see dyslexia as a monster, but happy to say that I managed to tame it, with the help of a few fellow bloggers who really encouraged me to continue with my blog. I am so thankful to those bloggers, who I now class as friends, for all the support and encouragement they gave me. And, yes, I’ve even written a post about defeating the monster I called dyslexia.A few other bloggers have since also confided in me they have dyslexia, and I’m now giving them the support and encouragement I received, to carry on doing what we all love to do, write.
I also get a lot of inspiration from listening to music while I write, especially when writing short stories. ‘Dreamland” by Robert Miles is currently my favourite album to write to. If I ever bumped into Mr Miles, I would certainly have to buy him dinner and a few drinks, as a thank you.
RW: Do you have a writing spot in your home? That place that you go to where nothing distracts you from the flow of creation?
HUGH: I used to have two spots, one being the kitchen, but I don’t tend to write in there much anymore now. The main spot for me is in our study. The desk looks out over towards Hove Recreation Ground, which maybe does not sound so nice, but believe me, whilst it’s not as pretty as some of the other parks we have in Brighton & Hove, it’s lovely to look out at while I am writing. It’s used by lots of people and also used a lot for sports like rugby and cricket and I have often included bits of conversations in my posts which I have overheard whilst walking Toby in there. Of course I change what I have heard, so that it more reflects how I would have said it, but it’s a source of some great conversations. If I also see an interesting person walking in the grounds while writing, I’ll give them a name and use them in one of my stories. That might put people who live in the area and reading this, off from going in there now, but just think of it this way. One day, the inspiration you gave me, may become a Hollywood blockbuster movie or best selling novel. Who am I kidding!!?
RW: That is a great view from the window, I was thinking it would be more distracting than that. You mention a book you are working on in your bio, how is that coming along and do I get a free copy?
HUGH: Of course you can have a free copy. I’d even sign it ‘Hugh Grant” if you wanted?I started writing the book in late 2012. As a child, I had two main ambitions. I wanted to write a book and have it published, and I also wanted to have a number one hit single! The trouble with the last one, is that although I am Welsh (Welsh men can really sing you know, just look at all the Welsh Male Voice Choirs there are) I can’t sing. I’m absolutely tone deaf and, unlike dyslexia, I’ve not been able to tame it. I was thrown out of many a school choir for not being able to sing and if my parents protested with the school headmaster, then I’d get back in, but only to be given the part of playing the xylophone or, even worse, the tambourine!
I’m afraid the book has had to take a bit of a back seat since I started my blog, because that is where most of my free time now goes. I’d like to think of it as my first book, but because I’ve really enjoyed writing short stories since starting my blog, I am thinking of perhaps putting all of them into a book and self publishing them first. I will certainly go back to the book and don’t think I’ve done any harm in leaving it alone for a while. I read somewhere recently that some authors can leave finishing writing books for years, then go back to them to finishing them off and the book then becomes an international best seller.
The book I am writing is about life in London in the 1980’s and 90’s. I lived in London for 27 years before coming to Hove and the book is based on my life in the city during those times. Some of it is based on fact, a lot is fiction, but I had such an interesting and wonderful time whilst living in London, that I wanted it to be recorded somewhere, so the ambition I had as a child, may just come true, one day.
RW: Does Blogging ever interfere with your social responsibilities?
HUGH: Oh, John is going to like you for asking me this question, I can guarantee it. Did he ask you to ask this question? I bet he did didn’t he? I have to be very honest here, because after all, I’m a very honest person, so my answer is yes. Both John and myself are tidy people. We hate clutter and like everything to be in place, that’s why we get on so well and have been together for nearly 21 years, but, blogging has taken over my life. Sure, I’ll do the chores, walk Toby, empty the bin, make the beds, and all that, but I’m probably not as thorough as I was before I started my blog. I’m not saying that the house is now looking like a store does at the end of the first day of the sale, but I do rather tend to rush the social responsibilities these days, so that I can log on to the blog and start reading and writing. That reminds me, I need to descale the coffee machine before it seizes up for good. Thanks for the prompt!
RW: When did you start your blog?
HUGH: 12th February 2014, so it has a birthday which we will be celebrating next year, much to John’s amusement I might add. February is a big month for us, because not only is it the birthday month of my blog, but John also has a birthday that month, our civil partnership anniversary is the same month and, of course, who could forget valentine’s day as well?A family member introduced me to WordPress in early February after I inquired with the family if they knew anybody who blogged? I don’t think most of them thought I was being serious when I told them I was thinking of starting my own blog and one friend even told me to be careful because of internet trolls and all that, but I saw it as a way to tell my story and write about all the various elements of everyday life I love so much. Although I have dyslexia, I seem to be able to explain things by writing them down far better than by talking about them. Starting a blog has given me so much confidence and its the perfect way to get over my views and news. Hence the blog name, Hugh’s Views and News.
RW: I notice you around the Blog Block so to speak in my reading of other bloggers and your likes and comments; do you notice a difference in style between bloggers from different parts of the world?
HUGH: Yes, hugely. Not only in the way the author writes, but also in that of the comments that are left. Reading blogs is such a great way of finding out about different cultures and how people live their lives on a daily basis. You can really get to know somebody so well just from engaging with them by asking questions and leaving comments on posts. Perhaps the saddest thing about it though is that you can read some comments, which can be read as being offensive to some, but to others may be perfectly normal. I’ve come across that quite recently and was going to react as I thought a particular comment somebody had left on a blog I follow was rather offensive. But then I thought ‘its not my blog’ and I looked at it from the ‘other side of the coin’ and thought about the position the person who had left the comment was in. The person who owned the blog obviously hadn’t seen it as an offensive comment as otherwise they would have removed it, so I moved on, without saying anything.
RW: What type of Blogs do you tend to gravitate toward?
HUGH: I follow a lot of blogs which concentrate on one subject but I tend to gravitate more to those which contain lots of variety. My own blog contains short stories, photos, reviews, my views on life, television and commercials, as well as a few other categories. I have seen some bloggers create brand new blogs because they think having too much variety on their blog looks messy. I’m not so sure about that. Yes, if I am looking for a blog that only contains recipes, then it’s great to find a blog that contains only recipes, but I like a good mixture in a blog (no pun intended there)! I like to get to know the blogger, and by having lots of variety on their blog, I know I can achieve that because it will tell me more about them other than that they may be a great cook. So I tend to graduate towards blogs that have lots of variety. After all, they do say that variety is the spice of life, don’t they?
RW: You seem to really enjoy what you do, what advice can you give others to help keep them motivated to blog and enjoy? Do you have something like a limit of time, a number of posts per week, anything like that?
HUGH: My first piece of advise would to be to treat your blog as if it were alive. I’d better explain that a little more, hadn’t I? To me, I see my blog as being alive. To stay alive, it needs plenty of nourishment. I look at a post I have written myself, as a meal for my blog. Because I have written the post, I look at it as if it were a meal I had prepared myself from fresh wholesome ingredients. When I press that publish button, I’m feeding my blog a good meal to keep it nourished. I look at re-blogs as ready made meals because I am not the original author.
None the less, when I re-blog something, then I am still feeding my blog and giving it nourishment, thus keeping it alive. There’s absolutely no problem in taking a break from your blog to try and get the creative juices flowing, but try not to leave it too long, otherwise it may pass away. Always consider re-blogging something you have found interesting from another blog if you have nothing to publish yourself. After all we are all told to visit, read and comment on other blogs so as to connect with other bloggers and create new openings and attract new followers.
So my first piece of advise is to feed your blog, even if it means just re-blogging something occasionally.
My second piece of advise is to connect and engage with your followers and anyone, other than trolls, who leave a comment on your posts. I always thank anyone for taking the time to read and comment on a post I have published because, by doing so, I am then engaging with them. I always answer any questions they ask me and in turn I may go back and ask them questions or for further comments on the answers I have given. I know some bloggers are going to get huge amounts of comments and won’t be able to respond to them all. but I think it sad when I come across a blog and see absolutely no response to comments from the author.
When I first started blogging, I thought I’d stick to one post a month, but that soon became two posts a month, to three and so on, because I was really enjoying what I was doing. I try and post something on my own blog at least twice a week. Of course if you are not enjoying what you doing then stop and move on to something else. That’s exactly what I did after my two year relationship with the gym fell apart.
RW: Finally for my Big Three Questions. What is your favorite scent/aroma/fragrance and why?
HUGH: Mint. I love the stuff, not only on my roast lamb, but also as an aroma around the house. It makes the whole place smell fresh and clean, which of course my house is, after you asking me that earlier question about social responsibilities.
RW: What is your favorite beverage?
HUGH: Tea. I suppose that is the Britishness in me. I love the stuff especially when I have a pack of Oreos or chocolate digestives to dunk into the tea. Pure bliss!
RW: And finally, what is your favorite word and why?
HUGH: Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwyll-llantysiliogogogoch – go on, I dare you to check it out. It’s a real Welsh word. If I can’t chose that word because it’s not an English word, then I’d say “Twist” Not in the dance or pain sense, but in the story sense. I love a story or movie with a great twist or two in it.I want to thank Hugh for the interview and what I have to say was an enjoyable time. Make sure to visit and follow him at Hugh’s Views & News and also on Twitter at @RobertHughes05. Also click Hugh’s favorite Bananarama song below and watch him dance along. I like to have a little fun with those guests that have that touch of humor about them. All that’s missing are the long socks and sandals he loves to wear.
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