Regrets

Live in the Now, not in the Then.

Ronovan Inspiration & Motivation , , , , , , , , , , ,

“The only use of an obstacle is to be overcome. All that an obstacle does with brave men is, not to frighten them, but to challenge them.”~Woodrow Wilson

Two weeks ago I asked you to Make a List of Your Negatives, while last week I said to get rid of one of those negatives. Two problems with that last one. One, the article was long and few people read it. The other problem, for those who read it I imagine you were expecting me to tell you how to get rid of those negatives. By the way, there was more to the article than ‘get rid of one of those negatives’.

Today I’ll attempt to be brief and tell you how to be rid of negatives.

X Out the Past and 0 Out Your Future

Let’s take your list of negatives in their nice columns and for every negative that comes from a past event place an x beside it. For every negative whose source lies in the future, in other words something you are wanting but can’t have yet or may never have, place a little circle beside it.

Now realize you are looking at things that cannot be reached or dealt with in the present. Wait before you start yelling about controlling what might happen in the future.

Those Past Negatives are in the past. Unless you want to apologize to someone or forgive someone, you are most likely out of luck. Drop those Past Negatives. And if you haven’t apologized or forgiven in all these years and are having problems with it, that’s called Regret. You can visit my Regrets are where they belong, in the past from this past Wednesday for some good quotes about regrets.

Know You Are In The Now

Expecting anything from someone else is a Negative you will never control. That’s one Negative you are to never allow to take a rest in your mind. It’s time to live in the now, not the yesterday, not the future, but the now. Here. Now. Not in the what you wished you had or what you hope to have, but in the what you have. You can work toward what you want to have some day, but that’s some day. That’s a goal, not a Negative.

Take your list, do the x’s and o’s and start working your way through those x’s. And really, if you are strong enough, you can toss them all, but if you haven’t already done that, then you most likely will need to take the baby steps I’ve talked about previously. There is no hurry, no race, no trophy.

You need to:

  • Think about why that Negative happened
  • What you had to do with it
  • Why it is still hanging with you
  • What can you do about it
  • What it has done to your life
  • Then realize it is over

That last part is the most difficult. Read through the article again and you’ll see why you are to let it go and let it be over. You’re in control of it all. Don’t ALLOW anything, especially a memory to control YOU.

Live in the here and now, and enjoy life.

“When faced with a challenge, happy families, like happy people, just add a new chapter to their life story that shows them overcoming the hardship. This skill is particularly important for children, whose identity tends to get locked in during adolescence.”~Bruce Feiler

Much Love, Success, and Respect

Ronovan

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Regrets are where they belong, in the past.

Ronovan #BeWoW, Inspiration & Motivation , , , , , , , , , , ,

“Those who enjoy their own emotionally bad health and who habitually fill their own minds with the rank poisons of suspicion, jealousy and hatred, as a rule take umbrage at those who refuse to do likewise, and they find a perverted relief in trying to denigrate them.”~Johannes Brahms

When you go through life you end up running across people who, for some reason, think you are a threat to them. It has nothing to do with you having done anything wrong. I’ve seen examples of a lot of what Brahms spoke of above.

I watch interviews with these old professional wrestlers I watched when I was a kid. I do so in part because they were part of a time when I lived with my grandmother, back around 6 or 7 and when we visited her later on as well. It’s amazing how jealousy turned people you thought of as good guys into such bitter old men.

You have those types in every type of profession and every walk of life.

“Always Do Your Best. Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.”~Miguel Angel Ruiz

Ruiz speaks the truth, right to the core of my thinking. Regrets are like a disease, a virus that spreads though your body. The more you feed it the more it will grow until it is all consuming. You abuse others for your regrets, your jealousy of those who did what you regret you didn’t do.

Regrets are easy to let go. Much like those memories of the first grade you can’t think of, regrets are in the past. I know, some regrets you have might be in your face every day.

“Regret is an odd emotion because it comes only upon reflection. Regret lacks immediacy, and so its power seldom influences events when it could do some good.”~William O Rourke

“Acceptance of what has happened is the first step to overcoming the consequences of any misfortune.”~William James

The above two quotes explain exactly what purpose regrets serve and how to move on from them or even avoid having them. The quote by William James goes along with something I said recently.

“Recognition of truths in your life is a big step toward a happier you. A bigger step is taking action upon that recognition.”~Me

We all have disappointments in our lives, those missed opportunities that we brought about by our own action or inaction. Nothing can be done about them now. Well, at least most of them can’t be changed. Looking forward is always the best thing to do, even if there are no regrets in your past.

For an article I wrote about a luncheon with a top executive and self-made woman with Coca-Cola visit “Do your best…or not at all…advice from success”.

Much Love, Success, and Respect

Ronovan

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© Copyright-All rights reserved by ronovanwrites.wordpress.com 2015