Did you ever wonder . . . in a British accent?

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Did you ever wonder?

 

Woman asking question.

 

 

Very likely your answer to that question is yes. If not perhaps you will now wonder why I thought it should be. So now that we have all wondered about something, let us continue.

 

It was about 10 PM one night recently and I suddenly started thinking in British. And oddly ‘Venus’ by Bananarama was running through my brain. And I started this crazy dance without any reason at all. I felt like I was in stand up spin cycle washing machine or something.

 

Have you ever had that happen to you? No . . . well of late it happens to me quite often. Fortunately I was able to get out of my bubble bath but had to skip the Super Walmart excursion as my socks were not clean anyway and I hate the way my sandals feel on my bare feet. You know that sweaty icky feeling. If rubber then you wonder if some jelly baby is sucking at your feet, if leather than the cow is attempting to become a symbiote with your toes to live again. Yes, these thoughts do run through my mind. And really why DOES a nose run and feet smell? And what happens when the nose runs and meets the smelling feet? I need to know before 3 AM when I go to sleep.

 

No, that is not why I am dragging you through my quaint little village of a blog. My suddenly British thinking mind has questions.

 

Why are French Fries called chips in Britain? Is it xenophobia against the French? Is there a ban on using anything that sounds unhealthily like the word fry? Why not Fish and Fries? In Britain when making fried chicken is it called chipped chicken? When ordering at McDonald’s does the person taking said order ask if you would like chips with that?

 

 

And I know you know I must ask about the cookies being called biscuits. Need I really go into this? Does Ernie the Keebler Elf talk about chocolate chip biscuits? And I am still wondering about the dipping the cookie biscuit in tea. I don’t understand. And why would you drink something called Grey? Have you not read the books? You might catch 50 Shades of an STD.

 

 

Now for the really odd question burning in my brain; why the wrong side of the road driving? Are all people in Britain left handed? Are you not afraid that you will shift gears in a zig zag formation and around the world snap? I mean really people, what is . . . the . . .deal? Oh I know, perhaps Britain is where all of the mail carriers in America secretly come from. I mean why else would they have those jeeps with the wheel switched over in order to reach the mailbox? Oh, and what do they do in Britain? Do they move the wheel to the left side of the vehicle for mail carriers?

 

 

And now finally, Blood Sausage, what? I cannot fathom the mind that thought “Let us name this meaty type thing blood so people will love it”. Why? I really do ask why?

 

 

I will not ask about Piers Morgan and why you sent him here. Perhaps it was a secret plan for a new invasion. And why is he named after a place where sailors gather? Hmm? Do you know? Piers, you can tell us.

 

 

I leave you with this and perhaps anyone English British will have it running through their heads the rest of the day. And perhaps my friend Hugh of Hugh’s News and Views would be able to answer these questions . . . that is when he is not dunking cookies in 50 Shades of STDs.
http://youtu.be/fVkN0VhOuZ0
Much Respect

Ronovan

 

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20 thoughts on “Did you ever wonder . . . in a British accent?”

  2. I don’t find weird calling biscuit a biscuit, and I’m not from the UK. I think it’s you people that are weird to call biscuits cookies, because cookies are a type of biscuits 😀 😀 😀 Or maybe it’s an European thing 😀

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    • 🙂 I do wonder where the American biscuit designation came from. Perhaps Hugh will explain. 🙂 He’s already formulating something to respond with he says. 🙂 Oh and now I am a ‘you people’? 😛 🙂 I am wounded deeply to the bottom of my jelly baby soled feet.
      Much Appreciation
      Ronovan

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  3. I’ve now picked myself up off the floor after reading this. I got bruises to prove it and also to prove that I stood on my head playing Pacman 🙂 Oh man, I’m never gonna get to sleep now, what with all these questions, not even watching cricket is gonna send me off. Right, I’m off to put the kettle on and get the Oreo’s out – and yes, they are British Oreo’s, much better than the ones you get across the pond 🙂 As for Earl Grey, I don’t like him, so who’s he? Bloody sausages? Mr Ronovan, I thought you were throwing a bit of a strop there and I wouldn’t wanna see you in one of those. Good job my British counterpart, Suzie, put you right. Dunk, dunk, British Oreos on the go…

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  7. Hello Ron, must ask, why are chips called French Fries in the US? And why are crisps called chips? Apparently, the word biscuit originated in France and means “cooked twice” which is why biscuits are crisp and snap when eaten, whereas “cookies are soft and squidgy. Also,I put my purse inside my handbag, whereas in the US they put their pocketbook in side their purse. Strange!

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    • Well said Hannamar. I did wonder why they are called French Fries in the USA when they are made there, therefore surly they should be called American Fries? I think the French may have something here, just like they do with the word Champagne. That’s why we British decided to call them chips. Chips tend to me quite thick and big, whereas Fries are long and skinny (like the ones you can get at McDonalds).

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  8. […] “Thanks” he shouts back “Oh, and it makes far more sense to me, driving on the left hand side of the road, when you guys have so many roundabouts which you go clockwise around, the same as a clock and watch goes…clockwise!  We don’t have many roundabouts in the States, we have those four-way stops that don’t really keep the traffic moving.  I guess we in the States haven’t figured that one out yet.  Happy holidays.”  With that, he disappeared shouting out that he hoped we didn’t mind that Piers Morgan was not coming back.  “Piers who?’ I wondered in a British Accent. […]

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  9. Methinks they are called French fries due to the way potatoes are cut for steak frites (steak and skinny fries) vs. the British chips (much chunkier slices.) And blood sausage is made out of… wait for it… blood left from the slaughter. Waste not, want not, eh? American foodie, here. Suggestion for you, Ronovan; cut back on the caffeine earlier in the day. You too, Hugh!!! 😉

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    • The bad thing is…I don’t touch caffeine. I am naturally this way. Scary, huh? 🙂 Isn’t amazing how Hugh and I just fell into each other’s laps? Hmm. Don’t tell anyone I said that. 😉

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    • Spot on, Nance. Our chips here in the UK are chunkier than Fries, which to us are far skinnier than our chips.
      As for Black Pudding, well yes I do love the stuff, but we also have a variety called White Pudding which is made without the blood. Sounds horrible I know, but when served with eggs, beacon, mushrooms, sausage and baked beans, it’s a real treat (once in a while).
      As for caffeine, I only touch it three times a day when drinking tea. I’m not a coffee drinker at all, and try my very best to drink the recommended 8 litres of water a day, but sometimes that can be tough with having to run and back and forth to the bathroom!

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      • I tried blood pudding–yeah, not so much. I really wanted to like it! (I was in Ireland a couple of years ago.) You’re so funny, trying to appease me about your caffeine intake. You go, Hugh!! 🙂

        My point about naming them French fries is that they’re really like frites in France. Chips ARE chips and oh-so-delicious. Have some for me, would you? 🙂

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    • Oh we always have Chips on a Friday evening, mostly with fish, because over here in the UK, Fridays (Fri day) was the day to have something fried and Fish and chips of course are really popular over here. They are now served with all sorts of other stuff such as gravy or curry sauce or mushy peas but I like mine as they are with a splashing of vinegar on them.

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