Nice Guys | ronovanwrites

I’m Not THAT Man

by: Ronovan

“So you say I’m pretty? I am not interested in you, so give up.”

How many of you men out there have heard anything like that? No, keep your hands up. I’ll get to you eventually. Oh, never mind. I’ll just say a lot of you said yes. Pardon how I ask this, but doesn’t that just chap your cheese and grate your hide? And yes…that is how I say it.

I have a confession to make. I have a habit.

Yes, it’s true. I….I…I pay compliments.

The weight is lifted and I can breathe again. Ah, that feels so good.

When I compliment it’s normally about someone’s talent but occasionally it may be about someone’s hair or dress. I am even sometimes amazed at the way someone’s skin looks. Maybe it’s because I have fair skin and cannot tan that I find those who can amazing. But I get judged because of other people who have complimented in the past with other intentions.

And it’s not just women that will judge. Even men think you are up to something if you pay compliments to a woman.

Why?

I believe it is one of three reasons;

1) That’s the reason THEY pay a woman compliments

2) In their experience that’s the ONLY reason men have paid compliments before

3) Media/Entertainment PORTRAYS it that way

Don’t worry, I’m not saying that this judgment hasn’t been brought on by legitimate actions of men over the course of existence but I don’t like it.

Yes, I said it. I DON’T like it.

I’m not an attractive guy, so if a woman were to pay attention to me should I instantly assume she is after money?

“Oh, that is just so wrong of you to even think. Not all women are like that. And you need to have more confidence in yourself.”

Excuse me? Hello! You judge me shouldn’t I judge you? Guess what, I don’t think that way. For one thing I don’t get approached but if I did I wouldn’t even think about it. People are just people to me.

“Impossible!”

No it’s not. It’s taken years to get to this point in my life and with some odd occurrences but I am a person who just sees a person as whatever they represent. That doesn’t mean I am going to let you spend the night at my house and pet my cat. I don’t know you that well. But you haven’t done anything to me to warrant my considering you a criminal.

Do you know that’s what it feels like when someone thinks of you as just a hit on artist? A nice person feels dirty and ashamed. And all they did was be nice. It makes them not want to try and be nice any longer.

I’m not saying people should be naïve. I am just saying people should take each person as they come and be “Okay, you’re fine until you screw up.” That screw up is not as in, go out with a person or trust a person in your home until they do something bad. That means you know them for a long time and see what they are like consistently before advancing any further, if that is even a possibility.

And don’t treat us nice guys like the last person that hurt you in a relationship.

I’m not THAT man.

I’m me.

Spread this stuff everywhere!