Perseverance-Or is it love?

Thomas Carlyle
Thomas Carlyle

“Permanence, perseverance and persistence in spite of all obstacles, discouragements, and impossibilities: It is this, that in all things distinguishes the strong soul from the weak.”-Thomas Carlyle

I’ve moved away from talking about my health issues in the specifics in recent months. I felt as though my health was becoming me. And honestly I thought I had talked it to death. Well, I wish we could talk our ailments to death. If that were the case I would have been healthy a long time ago. But anyway, I wanted to be more positive in my writing I shared. However, at times I realize one should open up and share to let others know what can be done. Things don’t  HAVE to stop you.

I’ve never given much thought to perseverance as a word to describe myself. It’s been said by others but I’ve always put it off as a kind thing to say. I don’t mean to say they were being dishonest and lying just to make me feel better by saying it, but being kind in how they viewed my situation.

Many don’t know what Fibromyalgia is, but it’s a health situation that umbrellas a great many things including Chronic Pain and Chronic Fatigue. Much more goes in to it than that, but those two cane be easily identifiable with. Combine that with Osteoarthritis throughout the spine, including the neck, herniated discs in the spine and neck, and various other ailments, life can be such a joy at times.

But then you add the concussion I suffered two years ago, a Grade 3 Concussion that led to Retrograde Amnesia, short term memory loss, migraines that never cease, yes I mean I have migraines 24/7, sound and light sensitivity, and something else I can’t remember, and you end up with a very interesting life situation.

I know of the concussion because it is a habit to know now. A journal I kept around that time, barely legible as I was writing with either hand depending on the moment, tells me what was going on. I’ve slowly begun to let it go, the specifics of things, I’m not a dweller. I’ve truly decided to move on and not allow man made guilt hold me back from enjoying life.

Why tell all of this?

I have a book tentatively set to come out in December. A second book in the final draft stage before proofing and editing, that will then be shopped around to agents/publishers. I have a fairly successful blog, a group of online friends, and much more.

No, I don’t remember my family. I remember my son. I make an effort to remember history of my life as I am told in order to fit in, or at least act as though I am normal enough in my son’s eyes so he an have a normal father. I don’t wear my sunglasses like I should, nor my earplugs to avoid looking like an oddity around him. Seeing me put into an ambulance and then following it, only to see it disappear was upsetting enough for him not to have to be reminded of it every time he looks at me.

With the very odd life I have, I still push forward. I never gave it thought as being perseverance. I wanted to write a book and have my son something in the world to say, “My Daddy did that.”

People write a book for a lot of reasons. Yes, I love writing, but I mainly want something left behind for my son to be able to hold up and always look to. I want to be able to contribute to his life in many ways.

Maybe what I’m talking about isn’t perseverance. Maybe it’s simply being a father. Maybe it’s love. Whatever it is, it has brought me this far, and I intend to keep going.

I still have to write that book he helped come up with.

Thomas Carlyle Quote Perseverance

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Ron_LWIRonovan is an author, and blogger who shares his life as an amnesiac and Chronic Pain sufferer through his blog RonovanWrites.WordPress.com. His love of poetry, authors and community through his online world has lead to a growing Weekly Haiku Challenge and the creation of a site dedicated to book reviews, interviews and author resources known as LitWorldInterviews.WordPress.com.

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Life’s Plan-Life’s Purpose.

I have a lot of ideas. Too many of them actually. It’s very difficult for me to stay on one path to the goal of completion. The reasons are partly medical and partly a need to grab hold of that next big idea I have in my mind before it slips away.

Life's Purpose Image by Ronovan.

We do a lot of planning. Perhaps years or even decades are put in to a plan but then the plan comes to an end. The bad part about the end is that we didn’t have that in our plan. Although it isn’t  always a bad thing when your personal plan comes to an end.

Proverbs 19:20-21

Listen to advice and accept discipline,
    and at the end you will be counted among the wise.

Many are the plans in a person’s heart,
    but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.

The many plans we make are not always for our best. We travel along, sometimes staring out the window at the monotony of life passing us by and are mesmerized into complacency and routine. We believe what is may perhaps be all there is.

I have moments of indecision. I don’t mean indecision of the mind, but of the heart. No, not about love, I am certain of those parts of my life. But there is indecision about creations and taking the right step that tear at my heart. My mind does a good job with decisions and filing them away properly. It knows what to do, but the heart is the part that throws plans into chaos.

Fortunately a verse came to me today, a verse of the day, the one above. Those plans in my heart that tear at me? I need to learn to let them go. God knows the best plan. He even tells me the plan, I just don’t either always know the language/manner he’s speaking in, or am just not hearing it.

A great many things have happened in my life. One is about a young man I played football with. He was a star athlete, super intelligent. He had it all. Then one rainy game he tackled a player and with the wet uniforms, field and everything else, his neck broke.

The young man was a leader in many ways. People looked up to him. There was a bright future ahead for him. He was also a Christian.

Our team was losing badly, it was late in the game, and the other coach had asked our coach if he wanted to call the game and end it early. Our coach said no. It almost would appear that things were working against my friend from fulfilling his purpose for God and for life.

He has graduated from college, is now driving his own van, still paralyzed from the neck down, and travels to do speaking engagement to sports groups and FCA groups. That’s Fellowship of Christian Athletes. He doesn’t drive himself to those events, just wanted to make that clear. He’s my age and just recently was able to get a van and go through everything to be able to drive.

But God has a purpose and he uses indecision, and attempts to take away a bright and shining star to make them even brighter, IF that star chooses to move forward and upward with the purpose and the plan. My friend could have went through life in his wheelchair and no one would have said anything about it. But he had a support group, his parents, and all those who knew him to encourage and be God’s language in my friend’s ear.

I didn’t know where this was going when I first began writing. I thought it would be about my efforts to write novels. Then I put the scripture in. After that the part about my friend came to mind. He leads a more enriched life than most of us do and he is a benefit to more people than all but a handful of us will ever have the opportunity to. Well, that is unless we realize what the purpose for us is.


Ron_LWIRonovan is an author, and blogger who shares his life as an amnesiac and Chronic Pain sufferer though his blog RonovanWrites.WordPress.com. His love of poetry, authors and community through his online world has lead to a growing Weekly Haiku Challenge and the creation of a site dedicated to book reviews, interviews and author resources known as LitWorldInterviews.WordPress.com.

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

@RonovanWrites

 © Copyright-All rights reserved by ronovanwrites.wordpress.com 2015

Wordless Wednesday: Perseverance

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