Posted in Blogging, Thoughts

Easy Connecting and Disconnecting: The Problems.

They come and go, sometimes without our even knowing it. The social connections, the tangible next door friend and the stranger a world away who friend in a click and are gone in another. Do people disconnect on a whim or is it for a real reason? What has the ease of Online Social Interaction and Easy Connecting and Disconnecting: The Problems.Disconnection done to us socially as a society and perhaps even morally?

Thinking about things like this puts a knot in my stomach I can’t get rid of until I sort it out through words. Admittedly when I have someone disappear from my social network of “friends” I don’t always ask why. I know the coming and going is a part of the world and of this modern way of forming connections. But sometimes I do wonder.

On Facebook you must deal with people you’ve allowed into your circle of reality. When those people decide to drop you, then you wonder what happened. There is no explanation and thus the knot in the stomach begins. And dropping is the feeling that one may feel.

“What did I do?”

That’s the question that comes to mind first. For me my online social connections are my lifeline. When I lose one it rattles me somewhat and I dwell a little bit.

For someone like me, when someone, especially a female, decides to no longer be a friend you then wonder that very question above. Then you wonder what has been said. I’m a pretty appropriate guy when it comes to online social communications. Maybe in the past I’ve had moments. You would have to ask that old me. Like the one from a few days ago. That’s about how far some of my memories go.

Those social contacts keep the memory lines open. A lot of people don’t realize it but for some of us we may visit various social platform profiles in a rotation to keep people familiar to us. For a memory problem sufferer it can be important. A disconnect can throw things haywire in a major way, especially for someone who is sensitive and has actual feelings.

What has easy detachment brought about in society?

For one there is a lack of working through a problem. A person now unfollows a person and the argument or discord is over. Or it is as far as the un-follower is concerned.

In the celebrity circles it’s an easy way to get publicity and start a celebrity feud to drive up public interest in yourself. Pick the popular flavor and attack them and people will then take notice of you if you have begun to slip in notoriety. VMA awards anybody?

But for the rest of us it is more than a platform. We may have thousands of “Friends” or “Followers” but we have a lot in the offline world, the online world may at times be like a phonebook of all our old and new friends. Facebook is like that for me.

With the not needing to finish a conversation, or work out a situation, society is slowly becoming less and less able to resolve conflicts to the needed end. They still float around and build up into a frenzy. You can look at society and see how things spread like wildfire but no one ever took the time in the very beginning to try to stop it from happening—they went straight into the fire.

When once we had the chance to think overnight and arrive at some common sense we now have people go off onto Twitter or Facebook and speak emotionally.

I mentioned morality.

The ease of online sharing of EVERYTHING with ANYBODY has brought about many problems, even its own show—Catfish. If you have one person you share something with because of distance, I get that. Some relationships are separated by miles because of many reasons. And I do believe there are cases where online capabilities has made for some relationships to stay close and survive instead of drift apart during times apart.

But online has given some this sense of power and invulnerability that one can say and do anything without repercussions. They carry that over into offline life and you can see in society how some things spread and get out of hand. When certain agencies need social media experts just to do their jobs properly I think we have a problem.

I am thankful for online social connection. But I do have problems at times with the Disconnectors. But I suppose we all do it at some point. It’s easier than facing someone and telling them whatever the problem is. If you ever get disconnected by me, put it down to a memory thing. I pretty much stay connected to everyone. Well, unless you are like an uber-jerk. You know who you are. Muahahahahaha.

(Um, that last part was a joke people. So stop thinking it was you I was talking about. Paranoid much?)

There of course is the idea of Ease of Social Connectivity leading to Societal Disconnect. That’s another topic my thoughts are circling around and I may discuss another time.

What do we do?

Keeping a protective barrier is one idea. By barrier I mean have emotional security checks in place people need to pass through before entering that real Easy Connecting and Disconnecting: The Problems.“Friend” circle. Not everyone will hang around but using our mind and not heart will protect that heart. Yes, I know…sometimes that heart is going to take over. And sometimes it will be correct. But with the majority, treat your heart and self like you would treat a child in your care and who you would allow them to be with. In other words, Guard Yourself by taking your time in who you let into your private circle of true friends and remember that social network is like social anything, it’s just an every now and then thing. Just like social drinking though, it can get you in trouble.

Oh, and write a lot about a lot of things. That always helps. I mean who can socialize when they write all…the…time. I’m looking at you, and you know who you are.

Much Respect

Ronovan



Ron_LWIRonovan is an author, and blogger who shares his life as an amnesiac and Chronic Pain sufferer though his blog RonovanWrites.WordPress.com. His love of poetry, authors and community through his online world has lead to a growing Weekly Haiku Challenge and the creation of a site dedicated to book reviews, interviews and author resources known as LitWorldInterviews.WordPress.com.

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Author:

Ronovan Hester is an author, with a debut historical adventure novel Amber Wake: Gabriel Falling now on available on Amazon in paperback and Kindle. "5.0 out of 5 stars: Now, I want to warn you… this is not your typical pirate tale! It’s BETTER!" "5.0 out of 5 stars: Totally unpredictable and a real gem of a discovery - Highly Recommended" "5.0 out of 5 stars: An action packed journey to piracy and revenge – all in the name of the crown, queen and county – set in 1705." He shares his life of problems and triumphs through his blog RonovanWrites.WordPress.com. His love of writing, authors and community through his online world has led to a growing Weekly Haiku Challenge, Weekly Fiction Prompt Challenge, and the creation of a site dedicated to book reviews, interviews and author resources known as LitWorldInterviews.com.

14 thoughts on “Easy Connecting and Disconnecting: The Problems.

  1. That’s so true! If at all I’ve ever stopped following anyone, it ‘s when there’s been an unequal, that is, one sided communication/relation for long. When we actually become someone’s ‘follower’ rather than equal ‘friend’.
    Day before yesterday, I was in that kind of mood and in my impulsively harsh poem, I call this phenomenon as ‘highly connected disconnect’.
    https://alkagirdhar.wordpress.com/2015/09/01/hashtagged-lives-of-social-media-junkies/

    Of course social media is good and it is our ‘life support’ though fragile 🙂

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  2. I’ve found the friends made via my blog have been much more sincere, more committed ( they should be) and more regular than the friendships ever developed on Facebook.Perhaps because I can also see their blogs it’s meant I know who shares the same feelings or ideas whereas on Facebook the ideas are more watered down. Yet, the flow of messages on Facebook was such that I couldn’t cope and had to leave for a while and then go invisible on my return.
    Now I wouldn’t swap my blog friends for anything……unless you want to barter?
    Hugs

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  3. Good information about the easy connect and disconnect brought about by social media groups. I agree with David Prosser that our blog followers and friends are more connected to us through our blogs and comments. I am reblogging this on Susan’s Blog: The inner Soul. 🙂

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  4. Having only really started in the cyber space last year I am still very grateful for people wanting to include me in their lives (even if it is only with a like or a visit). A few people who have been very involved in commenting on my, and other people’s blogs have suddenly gone quite and are no longer blogging. I am not hurt but I find myself worrying about these warm and lovely people who just seem to have left without any more activity after being vibrant bloggers for so long. Strange how someone who you have never met and may well be blogging under a different name and identity can make such an impact on you. I still hope that a few are going to come back online one day…It is like losing a friend.

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  5. I used to be very hurt by the pulling away from others that I had been connected with for so long. Some, I know the reason and it made sense at the time (somewhat, like choosing sides in a fight is probably best way to describe it); others I just don’t know. Sometimes I wonder if I am not good enough for them, or if they are too good for me, or whatever.

    Because of that, I started to cull down my personal connections to others on Facebook. Now, it happens that I am now on a Twitter/Facebook hiatus as of this week (with the idea of it being semi-permanent). It’s for several reasons but this has been in play for a while.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Sometimes I wonder why people disconnect or pull away, but it bothers me a lot less than it used to. Still, I always have the “Did I do / say something THAT offensive?” moment when I see it occur.

    Like you, it bothers me slightly more when it is person of the opposite gender – I’m still trying to figure that out!
    🙂

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  7. It is a bit strange when someone disappears from your Twitter feed, or your FB timeline, when they’ve been communicating regularly. First thing I wonder is…did they die? I guess if they did, they couldn’t let their online friends know, but surely someone in their Real Life could maybe put out a statement. There was a whole convo about this on another blog awhile back. Should you leave your password with a trusted family member or friend, just in case of your demise? Might be a good idea…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I share your concern here when someone stops completely everywhere on the net. I think that it is a good idea to let someone close know your details in case something happens, particularly if you are very widely connected and have been blogging a long time.

      Liked by 1 person

  8. There are a lot of positives but there are also unfortunately a lot of negatives about the net. Yes losing a long time internet pal must be hurtful, as you’ve developed a relationship with them. It does make you wonder what you’ve done to upset them, but as in all things in life it is best not to dwell on it too much, I can’t believe you would ever do anything on-line to upset anyone Ron, quite the opposite I would say, if anything you do a lot to help others.

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