The L.A.W. is Thrilled to be Trippin’. Who said that?

AmiraTL3CatTL3ElenaTL3JennaTL3KateTL3Credit: Freefoto.com

 

 

 

 

 

The last time with the L.A.W. Ronovan and the team faced off against zombies as they made their way toward the home of a key person behind the missing U’s and other letters threatening to make their friend Hugh disappear back in Britain. Just as they thought everything was finally okay they faced offed against an even bigger

“Thanks guys,” said Amira with a wave and a chin thrust. We had Thrillered for at last 10 blocks with the Zombie Horde as they showed us how to find our destination.

“No probs, A. Mak, just make sure I get that signed copy of The Reaping,” said the leader of the dance troop. I wasn’t sure I wanted to see the Musical Comedy theater production they had developed. Thriller meets Walking Dead meets Dirty Dancing. Would Baby eat her Daddy for putting her in the corner? Would she fall apart when lifted in the air? Would Johnny melt when he rehearsed in the river? Were Zombies afraid of water? Wait, was the Wicked Witch of the West a Zombie? Whoa!

“Ronovan?” I shook my head at the sound of the voice. Turning I saw hazel eyes staring into mine.

“Um, ya?” I asked Kate.

“Just checking. You had the concussed look like my daughter Molly used to get when dropped on her head as a flier in cheer.”

“Pretty close. I think I’ve been in Lubbock too long. I’m not all that thrilled to be here.”

“Muahahahaha!” Elena was cracking up. “Not ‘thrilled’. Zombies. Thriller. Hahahaahahahaa.”

“I think brain chick has been here to long too,” said Cat as she flexed her fingers.

“Well we’re here now,” I said, finally shaking off weird thoughts. “Let’s see if Cyril Bussiere is home.” I knocked on the door.

“What do you want?!”

I had not been expecting that kind of answer nor that accent. “You sure this is the right address?” I asked Elena.

“Yep. See the Napoleon shaped door knocker?”

I squinted. “Is that who it is? I thought it was Marlon Brando,” I said.

“It ain’t no Marlon Brando or  Nappy Poleon,” said the female voice behind the door.

“Then who is it?” I asked, figuring at least talking was something.

“Dennis Hopper, C.B. loved him some Speed. He watched that movie until the tape done broke in two and then had to get a DVD one.”

“Um, is C.B, I mean is Cyril home? We’re friends of his and kind of need to talk to him,” I said.

“That boy done gone and took off for the FeFe land. Scoundrel that he is. Gave me chocolates and nylons and then throws me to the side.” The door opened and the largest woman I had ever seen was in the door. Now I know people like to say that, but this woman was about 6’9″ and weighed easily 500 lbs. I don’t think there was much fat. She was round with what her Momma gave her. I’ll just say that.

“Urr, um, were you and Cyril . . .,” I began.

“Honey, that man done had me cleaning this apartment for him and that little sweet thing of a wife of his for a year now, and then he just up and leaves. Now what am I supposed to do for a job? Tell me that. Well what you standin’ there lookin’ like some fool who done seen the second comin’ of the Manga Carter.”

I was speechless. I really had no idea what to say to that. I really had no idea really what she was saying and coming from me that is saying a lot, if you really think about it. Things get kind of random around here.

“I know, I know!” We all turned and squinted.

“Honey, you best be turnin’ out them lights,” said the woman. “And put that hand down. This ain’t no class room. Wavin’ your hand like you some kindercare with a need to go number one or somethin’.”

“Sorry,” said Jenna as she put her hand over her smile and lowered the hand that had been waving in the air for attention. “But I bet that dance troop we just left could use some help. They mentioned something about cleaning out some store over on 5th and Walker.”

The woman reached inside and grabbed a bag and stormed out past us. There was silence as we all stared in stunned amazement that it, she moved.

“Okay,” said Amira. “Get going and search the house. C.B, I mean Cyril has obviously skipped the country but we need to find out all we can here before we head out.”

“But if he’s left already we are way behind,” said Cat.

“We have a way,” said Elena as she started dialing a number on the wrist thingy she had on.

The rest of us started searching the place. “Oh look, a Blue Moon,” said Kate.

We all looked at her as we knew the moon was white and shining tonight. She looked back at us and saw the confusion. “See,” she said holding up the bottle. “His favorite beer. I think it’s the Belgian thing about it. Nasty stuff, don’t you think?” She asked as she threw it out the window.

“I got something,” said Amira from a back room. We all rushed down the hallway.

“Looks like he’s been studying up on Oreos and their ingredients. I think these are recipes and he substituted these chemicals for some of the real ones or at least added them,” she said.

Kate leaned over her shoulder to look. She was the ingredient expert seeing as how she was the resident health nut. “If those things are what I think they are then they would add no taste to the Oreos or change the color and actually help burn calories as well.”

“Hugh is addicted to those things,” said Jenna. “Every time there is coffee there has to be some Oreos or some type of biscuit, as he likes to say.” She controlled the smile so it was just a grin. The strain was amazing and we were afraid she was going to pull a dimple muscle. It had happened before from what I had heard.

” And look at these,” said Elena. “Plans for some sort of helmet but no, not a helmet but a mind control device. They look like bowl cut hair styles.”

“Oh no, the Royal Family has those,” said Jenna.

“Mind altering Oreos, Mind Controlling Mop Tops,” I said. “This is bigger than Cyril. Someone must have a closer connection than even this diabolical Frenchxan.”

I noticed they all looked at me. “What?”

“Frenchxan?” Jenna asked. Yes, even she looked at me funny.

“Well he’s French and he lives in Texas so I put French and Texan together and . . .”

“We get it,” said Amira as she turned to Elena rubbing her forehead. “ETA?”

“Should be outside now,” said Elena.

“Okay, guys, time for a trip, outside.” We all marched outside at Amira’s words.

There was an odd blue telephone thing out there. “Wait, I’ve seen one of these on TV. It belongs to . . .,” I began.

“Who,” said a voice as the door opened.

Out walked a man I had only seen on TV. “Anyone want a jelly baby?” He asked in a British accent. I looked around at everyone. They all marched inside and took their favorite color jelly baby from him as if this was common.

“Well, are you coming or swimming?” The Doctor asked.

“Take the red one, Ronovan, the red one,” said Cat over her shoulder with a smile.

“I so can’t believe this,” I said.

“Who would?” Dr. Who asked. Then he laughed insanely as he shoved me in and we were suddenly streaking away.

 

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The L.A.W Knocks ’em Dead in Lubbock.

The continuing saga of Ronovan’s search to save his friend Hugh from disappearing at the hands of the Grammar Black Market. Ronovan has joined up with The L. A. W., The League of Awesome Women to find out is happening. We find our hapless Chunk in the middle of the dark streets of Lubbock, TX the Fab Fem Five. If he only knew what had been going on in England with Hugh and Miss Maple and the Royals.

The cast:

AmiraTL3
Amira
CatTL3
Cat
ElenaTL3
Elena
JennaTL3
Jenna
KateTL3
Kate

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lubbock, TX, population-just under 300,000 and home to three universities, it isn’t surprising we would find a major minor bad guy here, especially one that considers himself an academic.

“Ronovan is with us and we are about to go in,” said Jenna. I wondered who she was talking to on that wrist communicator thing all the L.A.W. members were wearing. I had an idea since her accent had gone all British that it wasn’t Dick Tracy. Knock knock jokes were not my forte. Let’s just say they ain’t in my rep-o-twar-ay. (To find out who Jenna was talking to click here.) I wiped my forehead . . . again. Nights were still hot in Texas, or was it the humidity?

Heat was still rising off the concrete sidewalk even though the sun had set over hours ago. I could smell the old exhaust fumes on the empty street. They burned my nose with each breath.

“Too bad we couldn’t bring the ship all the way,” said Kate. “But we’ll get to work the kinks out of our muscles after that long trip.” I had noticed Kate had a lot of energy or perk or something. I thought perhaps too many chocolate covered espresso beans in the L.A.W. Mobile or a few ‘bad’ mushrooms had found their way into her kitchen, but it turned out she was a fitness freak.

Yes, I said it. When it’s dark and you were walking down a dark, creepy street in Lubbock, TX, yeah, I’m going to call her a fitness freak. Just not to her face . . . or within hearing distance . . . of the planet.

“Slow down, Kate,” said Amira. “We can’t rush into this.” She glanced to her sister. “What do we have on Lubbock?”

Elena tapped the side of her glasses as we walked slowly along the dark street, leaving the safety of the camouflaged L.A.W Mobile farther and farther behind. Elena’s eyes moved back and forth rapidly. “Not much to worry about. There have been some weird reports of ‘zombie parties’ lately. Wish we could check one out. That would be so cool.”

“Not as cool as ours was,” said Amira. “I love that show. Zombies and TV and hit show, who would have thought.”

“Tru dat, home spice . . . nice . . . rice . . . you got that right, sis.” You had to love Elena as she was just so smart and adorable. All I could do was shake my head at the young lady I had come to think of as uber intelligent. Just like with me, stick with what you know, right? Ferizzle my frizzles. Word.

“So I am like so worried about my beta reader not liking my next chapter,” said Jenna, apparently finished with her knock knock jokes. Cheerfulness had a way of lightening even the darkest streets. But it was still creepy and exhaust fumey.

“Someone is reading your fish?” I asked.

“No, you silly. A beta reader is author geek for test reader. But authors couldn’t pass an English test if we tried so we like to call them beta readers or we freeze up at the thought of a test. Talk about humongoso writer’s block.” She flashed a smile.

“Stop that!” Cat growled. I jumped. Foot slipped. Body fell. Noise echoed. I was going to seriously need some new undies after this was over with. “That smile of yours keeps lighting up everything and gives us away.”

I stood up as quickly as possible from the hot concrete, keeping my distance from growly face.

“Oopsies, my bad,” said Jenna as she covered her smile with her hand. Dimples showed on either side. “But as I was saying, my beta reader won’t like that I wrote about an M&M invasion of Cookie Land. It’s not exactly in keeping with the book plot.”

I couldn’t help but laugh a little. I could just imagine the look on someone’s face reading that. I looked up and noticed we had fallen behind slightly. Kate had picked up the pace again and the others had followed along without noticing.

“Well you could always write about some whacked out security detail for the president run by cartoon characters. I bet that would really throw the reader off. But we better catch up to the others,” I said.

We both started walking a little faster when we were suddenly faced with a hit video from the 1980s. And I was not thrilled . . . at all.

“Excuse me,” I said as we tried to go around the party machine.

The bodies moved with us, not allowing us to pass. “Uh, Ronovan, dude, look,” said Jenna. I looked where she was pointing.

“Seriously?” I asked.

“Amira! You’re missing the partyyyyy,” Jenna called out.

All we could see around us were people dressed up like zombies. “You know, you’re a bit old to be doing the zomtusi,” I said to the man who was either 20 years older then I or 20 younger. I had a bad feeling. The makeup was great but I wasn’t sure Hollywood was called in for just a party to make people look this bad this good. “But I am seriously hoping to hear some Vincent Price voice coming through a boom box somewhere and a beat kickin’ it.”

One of them reached out and grabbed Jenna’s arm. She did what any woman would do. Now I don’t know about that whole zombies feeling no pain. But this one felt pain as he dropped to his knees clutching his zombies.

“Well they aren’t the dead kind,” said Jenna. Random one-liners came to mind but before I could do anything she kicked it up a notch.

The next thing I knew all I could see was blonde hair flying all around and the bright light from her smile blinding our attackers. I felt hands grab my neck from behind. I screamed like a . . . high pitched voiced man? Yeah.

That’s when the rest of the L.A.W. arrived. I’m not going to attempt to describe the action that took place next as they all did some serious To Wong Foo Julie Newmar moves on some Crouching Zombies Hidden Aladdins, yeah apparently one of the guys didn’t know the theme of the party and came as Aladdin, and quickly had things under control.

Elena knelt beside one of the unconscious undead or whatever. “These guys are legit. This isn’t makeup,” she said. “Those zombie parties might have been more than reported.” She looked around. “Anyone have any wine?”

“Then what’s with the Arabian Nights guy over there?” I asked.

Amira looked at the guy in a little vest and balloony pants as she handed Elena a flask. Then looked back at me. “Hey, we hit first.”

“I know and ask questions later,” I said.

“No, we just hit first. We usually aren’t around for later,” she said. “Why do people bother with waiting around for asking questions? It just causes law suits and hurt feelings.”

“You think this zombie crap is that powder concoction they use in the islands?” Cat asked.

Amira looked around at the bodies. “If so it would take a lot of it. Not sure where they would get a big batch of puffer fish powder around here.”

Elena passed the flask back to her sister. She had a yuck face on. “Did you guys press that with your feet after a soccer game?” She asked.

Amira turned the shiny metal container upside down. “Apparently you like Chateau le Foot 2012.”

“Texas Tech University Health Services Center is here. They would have just about any chemical or powder you would need, I would think,” said Kate. Thank goodness hew as looking at her wrist communicator. I saw the screen and she was playing Minecraft. “Mandi, don’t do that or I will seriously kick your cheery butt when I get home,” she mumbled.

I nodded slowly and turned. “So someone with a bit of medical background and knows some biology stuff, huh?” I stopped and looked at Amira and Cat. “How do you know about puffer fish and zombies?” I was getting a little creeped out. Okay, I was way past that.

“Do you need to know?” Cat asked as she took a step toward me. A whistling sound echoed through the dark streets. Everyone lifted an ear as if trying to detect where it came from, everyone but me.

“Um, it sounds like you’re right, Ronovan,” said Elena. We were still on the same track.

“Uh, guys,” said Jenna. “Yeah, I think they really want to party with us.”

We all turned and looked up the street the way we had been walking. There were dozens of zombies headed our way. I turned. “They have friends,” I said. There were more behind us. I couldn’t believe it.

“Ladies,” said Amira. “Let’s get ready. Cat, get the attitude on. Kate pump up the perky. And Jenna . . .”

“Yeah?”

Amira’s eyes narrowed. “Lock and load the dimples,” she said. “We got some zombie butt to smack down.”

“Yay, I love butt smacking,” said Jenna.

I just wanted Chinese food, some tacos and a football game. What was I doing in the middle of a zombie butt smack down?

Much Respect
Ronovan-Lost In LalaLand

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High above the world.

I helped out a friend today as she is overloaded with real world life. Teacher, Mother, and so many other things. Her photography in My Home state atop the mountain that I used for my Perseverance photo last week. So her photo and my Haiku. Please visit her and follower her. She has amazing photography! I kid you not. (I’ve never typed that phrase before. Kinda weird.)
Ronovan

Dazzling Whimsy

atop_stone_mountain

High above the world,

My heart soars with a beauty,

Everlasting love.

by Ronovan

Helping out today, I was given this photograph as inspiration. Kate picked it intentionally as it is one of her daughters standing atop Stone Mountain, oddly enough the subject of my wordless Wednesday photograph. To achieve the quality of shot Kate did here considering the haze one can obviously get from the atmosphere is exceptional. The richness of the coloring of her daughter is amazing. I know the rock that girl is standing on. These days I wouldn’t do it, but then again she is the one that was a flyer for competitive cheer for most her life.

My Haiku was an easy one to write when you take everything into account. You have a mother taking a photograph of her daughter high above the world. It took me only a very few moments to write…

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