A Void to Fill.

Usually when I begin writing a post I open my trusty Word Document with a grain of an idea and begin typing. This time I am sitting here waiting for something witty to discuss. Okay, so maybe witty is pushing it a little. Sometimes I am inspired by social media, not to write about a topic discussed but by how that makes me feel about an underlying problem or feeling I observe.

It’s been several minutes now, and something keeps coming to mind, a daughter. I don’t have one but through the years I seem to borrow daughters of other people. As a teacher and youth director at my church it was bad, as in every girl from the age of 16 and under was my child.

I’ve done well in my later years, being a good father figure to children out there that didn’t have a father or didn’t have one that was emotionally present even though in the house. It’s a painful thing.

After I lost my memory I also lost some daughters. It seems things just weren’t the same for them. I get it and I don’t blame them. It’s a painful thing.

But now I’ve borrowed another one and it’s been a good thing for me. She’s a good one. Somehow, I always fall into these wonderful young ladies who are smart and talented. Of course, it’s still not real. I don’t know, I just feel like there is this void inside that needs filling and I keep grabbing on to these wonderful people to support and encourage. That’s what I really love to do. That encouraging and supporting feels so good to do for someone. But, of course it’s not real, is it? It’s a painful thing.

Of course, some people are going to say I need to just be happy with what I have, and believe me, I love my son, B. For those of you that don’t know about B, I call him that because he’s my (B)oy. Yep, not putting his name out there, not even on Facebook with people who already know about him, not even a picture of him.

B is super smart, always on the equivalent of Dean’s List at his private college prep school. He has amazing promise on the trumpet, according to his band director, and even the director at an event including all the local schools’ best musicians performing together took time to point him out specifically. I just wish he would practice at home, but he doesn’t because he worries he’ll bother my migraines. I have them 24/7 since the concussion.

So yes, I have a great son. And I am perfectly fine with that and happy with that. The thing is that it just feels like something is missing. I have a feeling that one day that void will no longer be a problem, but for now, I’m borrowing a brilliant (G)irl who is the exact female version of B.

Well, that’s a little more personal stuff about me and how all that internal stuff works for me. A lot more than I planned but once I start writing I usually don’t back down. I go with it and share it. Fearless to a point. Honest to a fault. (Oh yeah, I don’t lie in my writing, just so you all know. If you read it here, it’s Truth.)

Catch y’all next time.

PS

Of course I came up with a topic as I finished this.

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High above the world.

I helped out a friend today as she is overloaded with real world life. Teacher, Mother, and so many other things. Her photography in My Home state atop the mountain that I used for my Perseverance photo last week. So her photo and my Haiku. Please visit her and follower her. She has amazing photography! I kid you not. (I’ve never typed that phrase before. Kinda weird.)
Ronovan

Dazzling Whimsy

atop_stone_mountain

High above the world,

My heart soars with a beauty,

Everlasting love.

by Ronovan

Helping out today, I was given this photograph as inspiration. Kate picked it intentionally as it is one of her daughters standing atop Stone Mountain, oddly enough the subject of my wordless Wednesday photograph. To achieve the quality of shot Kate did here considering the haze one can obviously get from the atmosphere is exceptional. The richness of the coloring of her daughter is amazing. I know the rock that girl is standing on. These days I wouldn’t do it, but then again she is the one that was a flyer for competitive cheer for most her life.

My Haiku was an easy one to write when you take everything into account. You have a mother taking a photograph of her daughter high above the world. It took me only a very few moments to write…

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