Things We Wish We Asked On A First Date #FemaleFocusFriday

You know you’ve all been there, that first day and you go through the same old same old routine. You talk about the people you both know, about the movie you are about to see, maybe a couple of other things. You try not to embarrass yourself while eating the chips and salsa as the chips break apart and fly everywhere. The night comes to a close and it’s time for that end of date routine; kiss or not, call me or not.  Meanwhile things have been left out of the evening that are so so important that would help everyone make some good decisions.

Book with Question Mark

Things We Wish We Asked On A First Date

 

Do you have an arrest record?

You ever been months into a relationship and discovered that special person in your life has a court date coming up that might send them away for a few years? Not that I would know anything about this one.

 

Do you have any STDs?

What? If you are on a date then you should consider the possible outcomes short term or long term. Sex happens, even not the all the way kind that can still make you regret later on. I mean seriously, a crab dinner should be at the restaurant, not left overs you discover the next day. I just thought never thought about why she went to ‘that’ doctor every month.

 

How much do you make a year?

Your date is looking nice. Oh yeeeaaaahhhh. Who did they borrow the clothes from and the car? They living over the parent’s garage? You want to know what the real deal is now not after the wedding. Oh and don’t get hooked up because of earning potential, because let me tell you, that one never works out. Not that I have ever done that, just that I know the earning thing doesn’t always pan out.

 

Do you have kids?

There’s nothing wrong with having kids, just tell the person up front. In my much much younger days I dated a woman with kids. Not a big deal. Just need to know is all. Especially would have been nice to know about the older one . . . by the first husband. We’ll get into that more later.

 

Do you snore when you sleep?

This is one that is difficult to find out normally. Sure, you may even be having sex with someone but there is a good chance they head home afterwards, even if it is the apartment next door, leaving you and your roommate to make up the bed. And ladies, don’t be lookin’ at the men alone on this one. There’s a major drag strip near my house that is on national TV often and can be felt and heard miles and miles away. Just sayin’ some things can drown it out.

 

What’s your father/mother look like?

Your date is hot, but what will they look like down the line? I know that’s not a question anyone should ever even think of because it’s a bit shallow but I had to come up with something, and I tell you there are some that look one way now and in 20 years will look totally different. Again not a big deal, but for some it might be a thing.

 

Do you shave everything?

Yeah, I said it. Men if you are reading this, it’s not just a question we might want to ask. You think you like things a certain way, well perhaps the ladies like things to be a little neater as well. Just sayin’. Yeah, I know. they like their men to be men but men can . . . well, ladies comment on this if you like.

 

What’s your top three favorite sexual positions you would like to try?

This might seem like a bad question but it’s not. One of you may be more into sex than the other. This could legitimately cause some issues down the line, and quickly once the sexual aspect of the relationship begins. At first I put this one down as a joke but then as I thought about it, it’s  a lot more serious than one might think.

What are you like pre-mentrual?

First of all, I was given this question. I never even thought of it. And it was given to me by a woman. I won’t even go into the whys the need to know but I think on the flip side men might should be asked what they are like after their sport team loses.

Did your mother/father cheat on your father/mother?

A serious question. There can be a pattern in families. My own bio-father was  not a good man. I have done everything I could through my life to be as opposite of him as I could.  But things can always sneak up on you without notice. So this isn’t a bad question.  If you were afraid of this question you could also ask . . . well y’all get to comment with your own questions later, so I’ll the options open.

Are you married or hooked up already?

Duh, right? This should never have to be an issue but it is. Okay, I know situations can be different in each relationship, but regardless of what kind of marriage, be it a platonic or traditional one, the date would like to know because that’s some serious junk to deal with. The date has to determine if it’s a deal breaker or not. Just imagine you are at the dates apartment, it’s quiet and dark, and then lights hit the windows from a car pulling up. The date jumps up and yells “My spouse is home.” Your first reaction is well I don’t say those words any longer, I mean I can imagine what a date might say. But the sad part is, what if that was the first date? Put it this way, that would be the last date. Just sayin’.

That’s it for my part of this list of questions, now it’s up to y’all.

What questions can you come up with? Share them in the comments below, and if we have enough, I’ll put out  a reader list early next week of your contributions.

Much Respect

Ronovan

followmeonbloglovin

 

2014 © Copyright-All rights reserved by ronovanwrites.wordpress.com

Five things men fear on first dates.

You’re on a date and you are stressed beyond belief. It’s like that first time and you just have no idea what’s going to happen. You just keep praying that you don’t do anything . . . stupid.

Stupid around my house is a bad word. We say silly instead. But really one word is as bad as another if you know what it is supposed to really stand for. No freakin’ way will I say that crap word again.

Anyway, for a guy what can you do that’s so bad on a first date, or really any date for that matter, but that first date is the one you have to impress. The rest of your time with her she realizes you’re a guy and you do guy things, so you get a pass card. And no I don’t mean that kind of pass . . . or that one either. Eww.

What do we fear?

Five Things Men Fear on First Dates

by: Ronovan

Pit Sweats

Man with sweat under arms
Guys, be honest, they are;

The dreaded stains,

That cause you chest pains.

You have options here men.
• Date only in winter and never wear a coat, jacket, or sweater
• Duct tape bath clothes to your pits
• Or be sensible and wear a t-shirt

But the truth is, none of those ideas occur to us until it’s the end of July and we’re standing outside her door and that trickle starts down the back of the neck. You just know what’s going to be next. Back sweats? Okay you can get away with that, she’ll understand. But then you drive and move your arm and the air hits and . . . you know it has happened.

That freezing cold feeling hits that damp pit cloth of the shirt and you begin to sweat more and wonder if she would question stopping at a local Quik Trip convenience store while you air dry your pits with the hand dryer in the restroom. Then you begin to worry she thinks you have other problems.

 

 

Bad Breath

Man with Bad breath and woman with Gas mask on
You leave the house and you are like, “It’s all good.” Then you start singing to the radio. Something begins to smell.

You’re at her driveway. She’s sitting on the porch swing and sees you. You have no way out. You pull in and scrounge for anything.

And then you find it, that melted plastic wrapped piece of peppermint candy that is now pink from where the food coloring has fun together from who knows how many years of living in the cup holder under that Taco Bell napkin.

The plastic will not release. She’s stopped swinging and now is staring. Yes, you do it. In goes the candy, plastic and all and you . . . chew. You have to get out of the car because she’s coming. She’s worried about you. Oh no, you can’t get rid of the plastic or she’ll see and then your hands are covered in sticky 3,000 year old candy sugar.

Yep, you swallow the plastic.

 

 

Bats in the Cave

Bat Cave street sign
It happens to everyone, even her. But men, you know it’s going to happen on that date.

You can even feel it happening. The tickle starts. You breathe and hear that slight noise and feel it moving.

You start breathing through your mouth slightly. But then she’ll think you’re a mouth breather. You try for the distraction and the big sniff to move that thing up. Or maybe you find a way to rub your nose in the hopes of it settling into place.

Then one of two things happens. You’re in the moment, the kiss could happen. She has those melt you in your shoes eyes looking up at you and her eyes go from yours to your lips then . . . you got it. Her eyes moves slightly upward as the bat begins to say hello.

Is that the worst thing? Nope. Same situation and then Bat Cave Bomb Away, you got it, the boogie done left the building and it only has one place to go.

 

 

Nose Hair

 Man with long nose hair smiling
Related to the Bat Cave situation are the Nasal Follicles.

I know the Good Lord designed them to help us out, after all if not for them all those Bats in the Cave matter would be in our lungs, but for goodness sake, trim the vines before the date.

Men if you are headed to the date and you are in your car, look in the mirror. No, you don’t have the nose hair trimmers with you. Yes ladies, we do have those. Mine are burgundy. Now guys if you look in the mirror and see Tarzan swinging it’s desperate measure time.

Yes, you have to pull them out. I heard the ouch. I feel your pain. Seriously, I’ve been there. Just go for it and yank Tarzan and Cheetah both out and hope the tears are gone before you get to Jane.

 

 

B.O. Bomb

A smiling man holds out a yellow flower to a woman wearing a gas mask. Could represent allergies,asthma, pollution or even body odor!
Well men we finally come to the most dreaded one of all. All the others we can try to avoid and take care of. But when it comes to the body odor, well, what can I say? It stinks.

Some men keep deodorant in their car. Nice. Some even keep cologne. Not going to work. If you are like most men, you’re in trouble.

There are four options available at this point if you are in her driveway:
1. Grab the jacket in the back seat and wear it all night, even in late July at the ball game. Yeah, Pit Sweats combined with the B.O Bomb. Nice. Then you begin breathing heavy and the plastic peppermint quits working and you feel that piece of plastic still stuck in your teeth.
2. The car deodorizer might work. Chemical hazard? Yes. Worth a kiss on the first date? Yep.
3. Asking to borrow her bathroom and using her deodorant. It’s one way to be sure but you better keep it a secret.
4. Keep as far apart from her as you think is the safe smell limit. One problem with this is . . . no second date. You can either get close and get the rep as Señor Stinko with all of her friends who you also know, or become known as General Germaphobia. Take your pick.

 

Well, there you have them, and that’s just 5 of our fears. You didn’t know we had them, did you ladies? You thought our only worries were how expensive you were going to order and if we were going to get to first base or farther. Oh, and some of you men didn’t know you had to worry about all of that? Welcome to reality.

If you really want something that will freak you out, and this really happened, check out “When toots let loose. . . “ or what I call “A College Girls Gas Confession” at my fellow blogger’s site A College Girl’s Confessions. I swear, I’m not making this up.

 

Men AND women, do you care to share some of your MOMENTS on dates? Come on, you know you want to. Put a comment in.

Much Respect
Apparently Hygiene Deficient Ronovan

 

1st Image Credit: gettyimages© Original Photo by Laurence Monneret/The Image Bank

2nd Image Credit: gettyimages© Original Photo by Don Bayley/E+

4th Image Credit: gettyimages© Original Photo by sturti-E+ Man

5th Image Credit: gettyimages© Original Photo by Don Bayley/Vetta Man

© Copyright-All rights reserved-RonovanWrites.wordpress.com.