1o Things Men Think Women Know About Me

A list of things about what I believe is an easy thing to do. I was challenged by Florence T. to come up with a list of things we think women know about us. I of course never back down from a writing challenge. And yes, ladies, challenge me if you will.

I enjoyed this moment to delve into what I think men might think about this. Being a man it should be easy, but y’all may understand why there may be difficulties at times. These are not what I specifically thing about each subject, but I think people get tired of hearing my personal thoughts about things like this. But without any further rambling and to do, in  no particular order but number so I will not get lost I give you . . .

 

10 Things Men Think Women Think They MUST Know About Men

 

#1

What they MUST know:

We  ignore them EVERY time they talk unless the word SEX is mentioned.

Truth:

We don’t ignore. We are simply selective in what we acknowledge in having heard. Society has given us a way out. We are portrayed as buffoons on TV and in movies. We do not like this image but if we must suffer through it, then we will take advantage of it. And no, SEX is not the ONLY thing we acknowledge, Hamburgers, Nachos, Tacos, Pizza, and Steak also are worthy. And even for some none of these words will work.

#2

What they MUST know:

We  like women wearing tight fitting clothing or see through clothing.

Truth:

There is a rare occasion that tight fitting clothing is something we prefer to see women in. I see women wearing things so tight that I wonder how blood circulates. Very few of them should have stepped out in this attire in the first place as the sizes are not only tight, but perhaps two sizes too small. As for the see through attire? We can see more going to a restaurant or walking through any Walmart. Style, grace, a nice fit, and something hinting at what is beneath are far more appealing.  Hinting by the nice fit and the moving of the body under the material.

#3

What they MUST know:

We  are Cuddling Machines.

 

Truth:

We are not Cuddling Machines. Yes we do like to snuggle and cuddle at times, but this is referring to the after SEX moments. For me it is a fortunate thing if the blood pressure is not so great that my arteries do not scream at me. Muscles are trembling and every part of my body is aching from use. It has been the most enjoyable and most excruciating 5 minutes of my life. I cannot cuddle.

 

#4

What they MUST know:

We  want to be examples of perfect health.

 

Truth:

We like salads. We like the grilled salmon over the fried oysters. Both of these statements are sometimes statements. As Cookie Monster says, “C is for Cookie and that’s good enough for me”. And to paraphrase what society has forced him to say, “Cauliflower is a sometimes food”. If you need more clarification please see the end of #1.

 

#5

What they MUST know:

We  want our foods perfectly organized on our plates . . . not touching.

Truth:

This is some myth taught in  a class we males were not included in. If the food isn’t touching that means there is less of it. In fact we like most of our foods to touch as they taste better together. If we go to an all you can eat buffet our plates are layered like lasagna and you may find lasagna under the fried chicken and the fresh yeasty rolls, if the popcorn shrimp isn’t hiding it.

 

#6

What they MUST know:

We  don’t care about what softness of toilet tissue we end up with.

Truth:

Just because you can’t see us cry in the bathroom, the one we have been exiled to while using the sandpaper that seems to only be in the exiled bathroom does not, mean we don’t care. Men do not walk the way we do because we have different equipment below the belt line. We are trying not to cause ourselves to cry in public. Now you know where John Travolta got the strut from in Saturday Night Fever.

 

#7

What they MUST know:

We  enjoy practical gifts for every gift occasion.

 

Truth:

We want toys. I need not go into this one any further.

 

 

#8

What they MUST know:

We  always want monkey SEX.

Truth:

We are not that animalistic . . . all the time. There are those days when we have been thinking about you all day long . . . through the hours of sitting in traffic to get home . . . and we are animalistic, but sometimes we actually prefer the slow moments of the connecting gazes.

 

#9

What they MUST know:

We  ALL know how to fix cars.

Truth:

My father knew better than to let me near a car. He used me as the free tire rotating service growing up. That was my job every few months on a Saturday. I was ‘learning’ how to change a tire. No I was ‘being used’ for free labor. That is about as far as it goes. Yes I can put oil in, and various other fluids, and even change a battery if need be. I am sure if I really had to I could do much more, I am intelligent and can read and follow instructions. But it is not a born with gift.

 

#10

What they MUST know:

We are all the jealous types.

Truth:

This is a bit serious. There are some ladies that will intentionally draw attention in order to make their Significant One jealous. We know this. Here are the things to keep in mind when doing this. If you have friends that do this, let them know.

1) If you make the wrong Significant One jealous, violence will occur

2) If you want to play that game, some of us will let you play it alone

 

 

Bonus

What they MUST know:

We don’t know how to use the washing machine.

Truth:

You know guys go to college and do their own laundry and often times end up with a fiance. Then what happens? Marriage and suddenly the wife decides the husband does not know how to wash clothes. Now this is not one I believe there is a complaint about. But I am putting it on the list because it is one of those things women MUST think they know about men.

 

I know much of the above is perhaps just my own opinions and in truth you can even turn some of them around and change the genders, especially with #10. But I accepted the challenge and I put some thought into it. I like to be funny with these lists but I also like there to be truth in each number I give so we can all share and learn. And perhaps even learn we are wrong, both you and me.

Ladies, are there things you think you know and want to know the real deal? Message me here, or if you want go to my About page and use that form, or email me at ronovanwrites@gmail.com, or even DM me on twitter @RonovanWrites. I really do mean it.

 

For next week each day I think will take Florence T up on the second challenge she offered up.

“Or what could be a ‘perfect’ balance between two persons in a relationship..not talking about equality here… ‘balance’! Did I just take the humor out of your post? Oops! :)”-Florence T

 

Much Respect

Ronovan

 

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