I am brokenhearted over US.

A blog is a place to get things off your mind and your heart. We’ve turned it into something entirely different and thus less therapeutic. When I first started blogging I did a lot of therapy with stories and poetry. Over time I thought I lost that ability. I did. I didn’t have the physical or mental energy to keep going. After you blog as intensively as I did you might understand.

I also discovered another reason I stopped. Pain. I can’t sit for more than a minute, if even that log without great pain from the bottom of my spine and inching upward. Within minutes, unless I grit my teeth and forge my way ahead, I am lying down on a couch or a bed. Walking after sitting for a few minutes is difficult because of that pain, and just the pain of trying to stand brings even more pain.

That’s not why I am brokenhearted. I tell you all of that to give you an idea of what I am going through as I write this. Many of you probably won’t like what I have to say, but then again, this is a blog. This is my journal and my journey. Those of you that were around at the beginning you know the journey I’ve been through here and with you.

I am probably one of the biggest supporters and encouragers of women. If you were here during my earlier years you would have seen almost daily posts about how great I thought women were or interviewing women, or sharing their posts here on my blog. That is another reason this is painful because people are going to think I am against women.

I support the #MeToo movement in its original purpose. I think we can all agree that some have come along and not helped it very much and have only detracted from those who are real survivors of assault and sufferers of harassment. I think women who are assaulted should be heard, even if it is decades latter.

On Wednesday I watched the Senate Judiciary Committee Hearing testimony of Christina Blasey Ford and Judge Brett Kavanaugh. The way this entire thing has been turned in to a political circus is disappointing. Ms. Ford almost experienced the worst thing a woman can experience as far as I am concerned, other than maybe losing a child of any age. I have no doubt she was attacked. I do question if it was Judge Kavanaugh simply based on the other people stated as being there deny any such party occurred.

Those are my opinions. We are all entitled to those and friends all over the world believe different things but remain friends. I think those differences make for more interesting friends and even perhaps better friends because they allow for a person to grow and experience differing opinions rather than a homogenized world view.

I am not going to fault Ms. Ford’s gaps in memory because I also have memory problems, or problem, after suffering a Grade 3 concussion that ended up providing me with retrograde amnesia. In other words, I lost all of my memories from before that concussion. Was it entirely from the fall and my head striking against three hard surfaces in three different places before I impacted with the floor? Perhaps there is also an emotional trauma issue.

My only theory with Ms. Ford naming Judge Kavanaugh and his not being the attacker is that perhaps in her trauma and over time Judge Kavanaugh became, to Ms. Ford, the true attacker. No, I do not think she is naming him out of some spiteful plan to keep him from the Supreme Court. No, I do not think she ever wanted to be part of what some are calling a delaying tactic. I have read the timeline of from when she thought of writing the letter until her entering the courtroom today. She never wanted to testify. She never wanted people to know her name. She wanted the Committee to take her information seriously and use it in their decision making and investigation process. Not until after some of the Committee found out that the Ranking Member had a letter regarding Judge Kavanaugh did the existence of said letter end up public and the fire was lit. Within two days reporters of The New Yorker had the contents, somehow. She revealed her name two days later in The Washington Post because reporters were sitting outside her house, talking through the window trying to calm her dog down, and even entering her classroom while she was working. People were also calling her colleagues at Stanford University.

I am heartbroken that someone related to this hearing, this confirmation, leaked the existence of her letter and then obviously her name. Someone that was either elected to one of the most powerful positions in the nation or perhaps someone that works for one of them betrayed a woman that was terrified of going public. If you saw her today you would see that she is someone that seems very private about her personal life. I could see that by the way she spoke and her body language. But I’m not an expert on that, it’s just my opinion.

Once she was exposed she then did her civic duty, as she did in the beginning by notifying her member of Congress. If only Senator Feinstein had thought to ask Judge Kavanugh questions about sexual assault during her private question meetings with him, or even during the public hearings, or even in the 1200-1300 written follow-up questions perhaps none of Wednesday would have happened.

I am heartbroken over the hyper politicized nature of this entire procedure. All Senator Feinstein had to do was ask Judge Kavanugh in her on-on-one meetings, and if he said no, then contact Ms. Ford and say she believed there was a need to move into an official investigation. I actually believe Senator Feinstein thought she was doing the right thing and the best thing for Ms. Ford. That is not a joke. I don’t believe she is the type that would use this woman’s tragedy for political plots. The hyper politicized does not come from Senator Feinstein but by others sitting to her left during the hearing.

Even before the allegation came forward, Senator Feinstein’s colleague Senator Booker back in late July called Judge Kavanaugh Evil and anyone supporting him was complicit in evil a full month before meeting with him one-on-one on August 23. Senator Booker attempted through his phrasing of a question to get Judge Kavanaugh to say Yes he thought Ms. Ford’s allegations were a ploy being used against him. If Judge Kavanaugh had said yes, he would have been vilified even more than he has been so far. Her allegations do appear as though they are being used by members of the committee as a ploy to keep Judge Kavanaugh from being confirmed. Even before they had heard Judge Kavanaugh respond to the allegations they decided he was guilty.

I am brokenhearted that my country has forgotten the immense privilege it is to be considered innocent until proven guilty. Some of our elected officials, some who want to become President of the US someday, have forgotten that we are innocent until proven guilty. They have thrown it away in their desire to deny a man nominated by a President they despise. They throw it aside because this man is a conservative and they are afraid he will help overturn Roe v. Wade.

I am brokenhearted watching apparently intelligent adults on news programs with their minds and eyes closed to events in front of them just because they don’t like Ms. Ford or Judge Kavanaugh. Both sides have come out, even before the hearing on Wednesday, saying they believed one or the other. They hadn’t even had a hearing yet.

I am brokenhearted that I am even writing this. I fought with myself for hours before finally giving in I could not get away from it. I had to get all of this out, plus so much more but I’ve been at this for well over 30 minutes and my spine has locked up and is screaming at me. My migraines, which as a result of the concussion, never stop, not even for one second in the last, four years I think. Migraines, a bad spine, Fibromyalgia, and ME/CFS all combined are not a fun filled day at the beach.

I am brokenhearted because I am ashamed of how low my country has fallen. Not just in this hearing, but throughout government and the mindset of my fellow citizens

I once was a Republican. That changed during the early months of 2017. No, I am not a Trump supporter, nor was I then. My candidate didn’t make the final cut. Write-ins are a great thing. I decided that after the election I would at least give things a chance. Be optimistic. Be hopeful. Be prayerful. And now here we are, a nation that on the surface appears so divided we should almost divide in half and move people around. But we are the United States and we go that way through one hard fought war, and kept that way through the darkest and bloodiest time on our nations soil. (That didn’t involve the killing of Native Americans.) We will stay that way through what I pray is only two more years before some amazing person comes along, be it a Democrat or perhaps a different Republican steps up to make a challenge.

I am brokenhearted because I no longer have a party that I can call home. But I have decided I don’t like the party system any longer. Look what it does to intelligent people.

I am brokenhearted that I may have to leave this country someday because I stay awake at night thinking about the disaster we are. I think about all the good things we could be, could be doing. There is so much this country could solve if there was no other side of the aisle and everyone just sat together, talked, discussed, brainstormed, and tried to find commonalities instead of all the things that divide. Focus on the united not the divided. It’s on our nation’s name.

I’ve talked enough. I have journeyed through this page and hope I can now sleep a little with a less cluttered and frustrated mind. I hope no one has read this because it will likely frustrate whoever is foolish enough to take this journey with me.

Much Respect to Y’all and good night  or perhaps I might say good morning by this time.

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Writer’s #Quote Wednesday #Friendship

In response to the weekly Writer’s Quote Wednesday community event by Colleen Chesebro of SilverThreading.com. Colleen is my fellow LitWorldInterviews team member and a loyal Haiku Challenge participant.

“The greatest gift of life is friendship, and I have received it.” ~Hubert H. Humphrey (American Vice President and Author.)

I discovered I have written specifically about friendship over two dozen times here and I guest blogs. Perhaps it’s a favorite subject of mine.

Diane and Jack: Hater Hate?

diane-and-jack-diddy

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Cross Culture Interview with: Nishi Pal

What happens when a woman from one culture finds herself set down in the middle of another, literally half a world away? Why she ends up doing a Cross Culture Interview with me of course. From The Showcase . . .

 

Meet Nishi Pal

Nishi Head Shot

 

 

Ron Cover ShotRW: First of all for those who haven’t met you yet, tell us a little about where you grew up and where you happen to find yourself living today?

 

NishiNISHI: My family is from India that is where I was raised and where I went to school and college. I currently live in Salt lake City, Utah, USA

 

Ron Cover ShotRW: How did you come to move to the US? Was it a difficult decision to move half a world away from your home?

 

NishiNISHI: It was definitely not an easy decision, however not the most difficult. In spite of the hours I was putting in I was enjoying my work at the bank where I worked. But situations were changing as I had become a first time mum to a beautiful baby girl. She needed me but since I had my family to support me in taking care of her I continued to keep my job.That’s when my husband got the opportunity from work to come to the US on a project and so you could say it was a decision in the best interests of my family.

 

Ron Cover ShotRW: Nishi, what have you found to be the biggest difference between India and Salt Lake City where you live now?

 

NishiNISHI: There are so many differences from where I come from – India and here demographics, the people, the culture. India is the land of the ancient Indus Valley civilization and home to 1.2 billion people making it the second largest country in the world. With 29 states and 7 union territories divided into four regions – North, Taj_MahalSouth, East and West we have people speaking over 30 languages and numerous other dialects with Hindi and English considered the language for official communication. India home of the Taj Mahal, is considered a mega diverse country with its widespread and unique bio diversity which makes it a hot tourist destination.

Salt Lake City is a very lovely place very rich in natural beauty. What I  would note as the biggest difference between India and the US would be in the public infrastructure and the medical care system here. India in spite of being such a large country lags behind when it comes to roads. The roads in the US are much wider and public infrastructure is very well managed however, medical care is so much cheaper in India and hassle free.

 

Ron Cover ShotRW: What do you think of the political atmosphere in the US and how does it compare to that of India?
 

NishiNISHI: This is not a question that I can answer in a couple of sentences but I’ll start off with the similarities; both the US and India are democracies and in both countries citizens enjoy a lot of freedoms. However, when you have a two party system here . . . in India we have several political parties and small regional parties so the diversity of the nation shows even in its politics.

 

Ron Cover ShotRW: What was your life like back home as far as how people in the US would find different or unusual than an American would be accustomed to?

 

NishiNISHI: In India life for me revolved mostly around work and home.When in America people are more accustomed to an 8 hour work schedule, in India we tend to extend the hours to 10 maybe even 12..Its not the rule but it happens. Also in India we have a very close knit family structure and when in America you move out of your parents homes when you are 18, in India  we continue to stay until we get married and even then many people live close by their parents or even take care of them in their old age so you don’t exactly miss out on family time. 

But in general Americans would find India crowded and chaotic.

 

Ron Cover ShotRW: What would you say was the biggest challenge when you first moved to the US?

 

NishiNISHI: Getting to places on my own used to be a challenge initially. Here I’ve noticed you have the system where places where you shop are far from residential areas so without a driver’s license and a car it was tough to get to places on your own. That was a challenge.

 

Ron Cover ShotRW: What do you think your American friends find the most surprising about you?

 

NishiNISHI: American friends find the fact that I had an arranged marriage very surprising. Here I guess the girl and the boy fall in love and then let the parents know but in India majority of the marriages are arranged and fixed by the families of the bride and the groom.Which is not as bad a situation as it seems.. 🙂

 

Ron Cover ShotRW: We’ve talked about the differences and challenges, what if any are some surprising similarities between your home and the US?

 

NishiNISHI: The retail experience is similar I think..A by product of globalization no doubt.

 

Ron Cover ShotRW: What do you miss about home?

 

NishiNISHI: My Family and friends.

 

Ron Cover ShotRW: Of course, are there special things such as favorite foods from home you have a difficult time finding in the US?

 

NishiNISHI: I’ve found there are Indian stores here that sell Indian food and they seem to have everything – the spices, the mixes – everything we need. So not much difficulty there.

 

Ron Cover ShotRW: Now I want to ask a few questions about your Blogging. Starting a blog can be an impulse but working a blog is more than that. What brought you to create your blog and what keeps you engaging in it?

 

NishiNISHI: Yes, Ron, you are right, you could say it starts off on an impulse. Writing I feel is for me a highly meditative and therapeutic experience. I was looking at blogging as a creative outlet, a space where I could just write and express myself. With time I realised to make your blogging experience worth the while, to maintain the momentum, was not always so easy you have those phases…where you feel your mind is like fallow uncultivated land land and you look for seeds of inspiration to feel alive again. Not all of us are lucky like you Ron.. 😉

What keeps me engaged would be a sense of commitment to continue and develop what I started…also the positive vibes and the energy that I receive from the comments and feed back of my fellow bloggers and the wisdom and knowledge they share through their blogs.

 

Ron Cover ShotRW: You don’t often write stories but more often slice of life articles and poems, is there a hidden author inside waiting to escape? If so, what would you like to write?

 

NishiNISHI: I’m still experimenting and learning, Ron. Serious writing is something I would consider pursuing down the line. Maybe a historical novel . . . I’m not sure. It’s too early to say still.

 

(Note: I knew Nishi was a writer, I was already following her blog, but then she wrote a piece that jumped out and showed me what she could really do. It was called ‘My Best Friend’.)

 

Ron Cover ShotRW: What about blogging has been the most surprising to you?

 

NishiNISHI: What most surprised me is the strong network of bloggers or as I would like to consider them the wonderful new friends I have made here at WordPress. Their varied talents and the rich experiences just take my breath away every time. My friends in blogging have opened my eyes to a lot of new things. Also, I’ve learnt a lot about myself in the process.

 

Ron Cover ShotRW: Where would you like to see your blog head as far as content and what it represents?

 

NishiNISHI: I would like to see it grow creatively and with respect to the quality of the work I put out. I would like for it to represent me as the best possible version of me as only then will others benefit from reading what I write and what I have to offer.

 

Ron Cover ShotRW: Now for a few fun things, what is your favorite scent or smell or aroma and why?

 

NishiNISHI: I love roses. I’ve always loved the scent of roses also since Roses are associated to my birth month June. But, since we are doing a cross cultural piece one smell that I love and reminds me of my home in India is the smell of jasmines. My mother used to wear a perfume that had the smell of jasmine also we had a couple of jasmine bushes behind our home. It’s the most refreshing smell when you wake up in the morning and step into the backyard . . . the dewy morning air mixed with the scent of fresh jasmine flowers. Divine!

 

Ron Cover ShotRW: What’s your favorite thing about where you live now?Salt Lake City Mountains

 

NishiNISHI: I love Salt lake City simply love the place!  My most favorite thing would be the mountains surrounding the place that we live. In the mornings stepping out into the balcony and just looking at them relaxes me.

 

Ron Cover ShotRW: What is your favorite word and why?

 

NishiNISHI: I don’t use this word often and I know it sounds funny but I like the word ‘Splendid!’ and how it sounds.. Splendid isn’t it?

 

Ron Cover ShotRW: Splendid indeed.

 

 

I want to thank Nishi for joining us today and agreeing to this interview. I enjoy following her blog The Showcase and I also follow her Tweets. I suggest you all visit her blog and get your enjoy on.

 

Cultures are varied but we find they are so much alike in many ways. Our internet world has made it easier to learn about each other. We just need to take advantage of it and maybe we can make this world better and more united. Perhaps we may even rid ourselves of the misconceptions we are fed.

 

Until the next Cross Culture Feature,

Much Respect

Ronovan

 

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This America

You say you hate it,

This America,

Gives you that freedom.Bataab Death March

 This America

for: The US. Soldiers

 

 

 

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