FemaleFocusFriday: What I NEED to know about ROMANCE from WOMEN!

Oh Laaaadies! Holla if ya heeeeaaarrrr meee!

I have no idea why I did that but it just came to mind as I started to type. Could you imagine living with me never knowing what to expect next? I’ve asked a range of advice questions for y’all before on some many things but today . . . a rarity is occurring. Ronovan . . . is . . .

UP-squirrel-dog-animated-gif

 

 

 

. . . focusing.

 

How to ask you Out In Person, Phone Call, or Text Message

That’s right ladies it’s

ROMANCE DAY!!!!

(Yes I can feel the sizzle now. And strangely I like it. Who brought jumper cables?)

romance_Bullock

Oh yeah, focus, Ronovan . . . focus. Be the romance to be the romance. Philosophically that makes sense to me but in print it looks rather odd. Much like my photo. Hmm. Oh yeah, focus. So in person, on the phone or . . . yeah Kelly done told us about the third one.

no_texting_date_kelly_Rowland

I just want to make it clear that I obviously don’t really need help in this area, ahem, but my men friends might appreciate some advice.

Blue Jeans or Slacks/Pants or Saggin’ & Draggin’

What do you want your date to dress in? I know, I know, you’re going to say it depends if you are going to a rodeo or some other place. Let’s pick some other place for this. No Bostonian leather shoes and double breasted suit at the poop palooza. You don’t want to be seen with a dork. I get it. Okay so I know which one you might do away with automatically. Unless the mood is a bit other than romantic and well . . .

saggin_and_draggin

Natural Musk, Cologne, or Duck Commander Date Repellent

You know, it’s a difficult question for us. Seriously. What if you are allergic or asthmatic? What if and what if? We don’t want to be in the middle of  a date and have to rush you to an emergency room, that would just waste of the all you can eat taco buffet at the Huddle House Mexican Night. I am guessing here, just guessing which one you would say no to.

He_Just_Peed_On_Me(And if anyone knows of an all you can eat Taco Mexican Night at Huddle House, please let me know. I can get frog legs at the local convenience store. I kid you not.)

 

Flowers or Nothing or What

Maybe it’s an old fashion thing to ask, but what would you call Romantic or even would like to see happen? We might think of flowers and then freeze at the thought you might be allergic or hate the flowers we pick out. Then if we bring nothing do we look like a cheapskate? Then what if we brought some alternatives? Like maybe a cat toy?

cat_squirrel

Car, Truck, or Something Else

Now when considering this you need to consider other options like where you want to go on the date and do you want to climb up in the muck hauler or ride in the over compensating mobile or do you want to get a work out in the something else? Considering the attention some women put on calorie intake I am not certain about discounting number three, if it were disguised perhaps as as pedal car.

foot_power_car

Candle Lit Dinner or Picnic in the Park or Do Ya Want Fries Wid Dat

Now that is unless he’s dead broke, it’s the anniversary of your first date ever and he’s recreating it, or you just don’t care and want to be with each other because that’s where the true romance is at. Taco Bell served me well in those early days. I think I know we can probably rule out number three as being Romantic. See even that guy agrees.

RonaldSlap

Dancing, No Dancing or Whatever

This one might be a little difficult because of various situations. For one, even if women can’t dance they can dance. But men when they dance, well. They think they dance like this . . .

dancing_spin

But in reality dance like this . . .

nerd_dance_giphy

Kiss Good Night, Hand Shake, Or Something Else

We have come to the end of the evening, I know . . . I know . . .  there are some steps missing like a stroll along aromantically lit street that seems to transport you back in time, or a classic movie being shown special on the big screen, or a concert that is difficult to ge t tickets for. Then of course perhaps coffee or something and the ride home.

Now we  come to the second most important moment of the second most important moment of the night. The kiss . . .  oh the most important? Well how to handle going to the potty, especially if it’s number 2. How romantic is that? But you asked.

There are people out there who still live with their parents. It doesn’t matter what age the dat eis, they live at home for some reason. A kiss? Okay, a soft, tender but intent kiss is a good start if you mean it. Or a lingering gentle hand shake, bu the there is the one that probably mean can relate to . . . The father inquisition . . .

baby-oil-slap

Men need to know what you expect. It would be nice if their were  a manual but so many of you are different. So I want to hear from you. I mean I reiterate that I PERSONALLY don’t need in the help in the romance department if you know what I mean but there are some out there that do. What are your answers? We NEED to KNOW!!!!

Cause all I got are . . .

free_shrugs

ron_bloglovin2

Much Respect

Romance Man

Ronovan

(Yeah, I could have given the guys the word but you know, I can’t be sharin’ my secrets. Anyone seen my Atari 2600 Joy Stick? It’s my turn to play Frogger. Freakin’ Alligator.)

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Things I Learned From Women-The Low Down #FemaleFocusFriday

I asked and received. Isn’t that a great thing about having  a blog? You can ask things and sometimes people answer. I sometimes what I will end up with. I mean my questions. I actually sat down and wrote the first questions that came to my mind last week for Female Focus Friday. That might actually concern some of you considering the questions I asked. Some of you wanted to know the results So here they are.

ron_ballgame_blackandwhite
Me

Things I Need to Know From Women-The Low Down

 (I first had the ending called the Down Low. Even my amnesiac brain said something about that didn’t sound right.)

Are bra’s comfortable at all?

PennyLaneThoughts-“No” (Paraphrase-Evil man contraption.)

penny
Penny Lane Thoughts

Mara Eastern-Embarrassed to say (Paraphrase-She’s comfy in her clothes.)

eclecticalli-“Now, it’s more comfortable than not wearing one when I’m out and about” (Paraphrase-Yes unless being tortured.)

Nishi-“should feel like second skin nothing uncomfortable about them” (Paraphrase-She either is well fitted or uses paint.)

Tempest Rose-“Bras suck.” (Paraphrase-No) Eloise agrees with Tempest

Winterbayne-“I don’t mind sports bras.” (Paraphrase- Yes, normal bras suck, as Tempest says.)

qwietpleez-“In a word, NO. Not simply no my friend, but nooooo.” (Paraphrase-I like to repeat myself for emphasis because the bra is so tight and pokey I have no idea if I said it strongly enough the first time.)

Luccia Gray-“No.” (Paraphrase-The constricting embrace of this device takes my breath and leaves me feeling faint at his aproach.)

hubilicious-“They’re okay. If you have small boobs, they are probably not necessary, but if you have bigger ones, they spare you the trouble of two things wobbling in front of you that might potentially throw off your balance. ” (Paraphrase-If you got ’em you need ’em if ain’t you need no restraint.)

ifollowislands-“I hate bras.” (Paraphrase-Born free, live free.)

Serins-“Who likes bras?” (Paraphrase-Men want to see women in pretty sexy things.)

FlorenceT-” ‘no bra’ ” (Paraphrase-Men are decent without one then so am I. Women Power.)

 

Result: No (Paraprhase-Men if you l

ike them, then wear them for each other at your man gatherings.)

 

Mara
Mara Eastern

 

Do you like g-string undies?

PennyLaneThoughts-“I’ve worn them for years.” (Paraphrase-Yes, and my friends are cowards.)

Mara Eastern-Yes. (Paraphrase-If it’

s girly bring it on.)

eclecticalli-“It just…makes no sense.” (Paraphrase-No. The dentist didn’t prescribe butt floss so I ain’t wearin’ it.)

Nishi-Yes. (Paraphrase-It he G-String fits, wear it.)

Tempest Rose-“G-strings suck.” (Paraphrase-No.) Eloise agrees.

Winterbayne-“not my thing really” (Paraphrase-Only when I’m in the mood on days not including the letter a.)

qwietpleez-“eww-gross” (Paraphrase-gag me with a spoon)

Luccia Gray-“No.” (Paraphrase-Yon silken garment meanders into places one not soon should allow.)

hubilicious-“No” (Paraphrase-I don’t like sea life.)

Alli
Eclectic Alli

ifollowislands-“Hate them, too!” (Paraphrase-Ain’t no show going on round here.)

Serins-“um no” (Paraphrase-Wants to see Ronovan in g-string undies.)

FlorenceT-“only if necessary” (Paraphrase-I think MY VPL is sexy.)

 

Is drawing with a pencil around your eyes fun?

Mara Eastern-Loves it. (Paraphrase-I’m an artist, what can I say?)

eclecticalli-“. . . I have trouble tracing when all odds are in my favor . . . ” (Paraphrase-I hated art class.)

Nishi-Oooo, fun day time. (Paraphrase-I’ve been drawing with my 2 year old daughter way too much.)

Tempest Rose-“Makeup sucks.” (Paraphrase-You want a right around your eye? Come here and I’ll give you one that you don’t have to draw on.”) Eloise agrees.

Winterbayne-“not squeamish about my eyes” (Paraphrase- It’s expensive and I ain’t buyin’ it when the guy doesn’t even bother to trim his nose hairs.)

Nishi
The Showcase (fabulousnishi)

qwietpleez-“Perhaps at Halloween.” (Paraphrase-I go on one date per year because makeup is expensive.)

Luccia Gray-“Yes.” (Paraphrase-I don’t need it but I like to make the men drop to their knees when I walk by and not just stand in awe.)

hubilicious-“I don’t do that.” (Paraphrase-I failed coloring in Kindergarten and never looked back.)

ifollowislands-“I used to apply eye liner . . .” (Paraphrase-I’m too pretty to have a need for it now.)

FlorenceT-“. . . it’s a health hazard.” (Paraphrase-I have moments where I want to stab things with pencils and the family avoids me when I work or put on makeup.)

 

Result: Yes, by a narrow margin.

 

Do you like the feminine product commercials?

PennyLaneThoughts-“No” (Paraphrase-Get a clue.)

tempest_rose
Nonsense & Shenanigans (Tempest Rose)

eclecticalli-“I find them amusing.” (Paraphrase-I have more in life to worry about than a commercial.)

Nishi-No (Paraphrase-Let’s switch places and you try it, bub.)

Tempest Rose-“suck” (Paraphrase-Have you seen a theme yet, Ron?) Eloise agrees and in an accent.

Winterbayne-“cheesy” (Paraphrase-Dorks make commercials.)

qwietpleez-“So silly they are.” (Paraphrase-Leia sends C3PO out to buy them.)

Luccia Gray-“No.” (Paraphrase-Man asks things of stupidity.)

hubilicious-“Nope.” (Paraprhase-Are you serious?)

ifollowislands-“like a nappy in your panty” (Paraphrase-Where a diaper dude and see what you think?)

Serins-“here they are done very tactfully” (Paraphrase-American ad people are dorks.)

FlorenceT-“NO” (Paraphrase-Ron, you are a dork for asking.)

 

Eloise_De_Sousa
Thoughts by Mello-Elo

Result: No. Or in the word of Tempest “Suck”.

 

Do you like products that change colors and the like just to attract your dollars?

PennyLaneThoughts-“Not since I was about 12” (Paraphrase-Ron, your questions are weak.)

eclecticalli-“have you seen the Ellen commentary” (Paraphrase-I got what Ron was asking about. The whole changing to attract Gender dollars.)

Tempest Rose-“Sucks” (Paraphrase-I like mine black.) Eloise agrees.

Winterbayne-“I do color code.” (Paraphrase-Ron, ask a better question.)

qwietpleez-“I’m fairly easy to please” (Paraphrase-Black is basic.)

Luccia Gray-“helps some people” (Paraphrase-I’m good at walking the line and seeing both sides of the possibilities.)

WinterBayne
Winter Bayne

hubilicious-“I like pens that write.” (Paraphrase-I can’t make up my mind.)

ifollowislands-“”I don’t care” (Paraphrase-I lose pens.)

FlorenceT-“No.” (Paraphrase-Advertising people are dorks.)

 

Result: Indifferent  But you know what Tempest thinks.

 

If a man has a nose hair waving at you on a date, do you still kiss him?

PennyLaneThoughts-” . . .guy was . . . hot, I’d kiss him . . .” (Paraphrase-I would close my eyes and think of Hugh Jackman.)

eclecticalli-“. . . not be a deal breaker . . .” but “. . . if . . . ” (Paraphrase-Dates bore me and I don’t even notice he has hair.)

Nishi-“. . . maybe not . ” (Paraphrase-Why are you asking?)

Tempest Rose-“. . . is natural.” (Paraphrase-It doesn’t suck.) Eloise says the guy should worship her enough to be more presentable.

Winterbayne-” . . .good personality . . . I wouldn’t have noticed . . .” (Paraphrase-The guy bored me out of me gourd.)

qwietpleez-” . . . if the tables were turned.” (Paraphrase-Pull the sucker out.)

TheQwietMuse
Qwiet Muse

Luccia Gray-“Yes.” (Paraphrase-“Dost thou fail to notice my wavering, my love?” “Not until you pointed it out my dearest dolt.”)

hubilicious-” . . . go with Tempest . . .” (Paraphrase-Blood shed is eminent.)

ifollowislands-“. . . too gross.” (Paraphrase-Dude, take care of it or I no shave nothing no more.)

Serins-“There are worse things.” (Paraphrase-At least he doesn’t  have bats in the cave about to fly on your face.)

FlorenceT-“eeewww” (Paraphrase-eeewww (notice the balanced use of e’s and w’s))

 

Result: This hair is split.

 

If a blind date goes badly do you hate the friend that set you up?

PennyLaneThoughts-“never been on one . . .” (Paraphrase-You’re out of luck, Ron.)

LucciaGray
Luccia Gray

eclecticalli-“Unless the guy is a real jerk wad . . .” (Paraphrase-If he’s at least hot, she’s off the hook.)

Tempest Rose-“Forgive but . . .” (Paraphrase-Make their lives suck.)

Winterbayne-“Refuse to speak . . .” (Paraphrase-Save on cellphone bill. No unlimited texting and only 600 monthly minutes with no roll over.)

qwietpleez-“would never happen” (Paraphrase-I rock!)

Luccia Gray-“. . . never blame anyone . . .” (Paraphrase-Revenge comes to those who have long sense forgotten.)

hubilicious-“I think not.” (Paraphrase-He hurts me then he is toast.)

ifollowislands-“. . . friend was laughing afterwards.” (Paraphrase-Immature friend be gone with you!)

Serins-“. . . I don’t go for such a thing.” (Paraphrase-Were is the chocolate?)

FlorenceT-“no hard feeling BUT . . .” (Paraphrase-Lucy you got some splanin’ to do.)

 

Result: No

Would you date a friend?

PennyLaneThoughts-“NONONO” (Paraphrase-I like my TV better.)

hubilicious
hubbilicious

eclecticalli-Yes (Paraphrase-What? Doesn’t everyone do it?)

LisaListed-“. . . if he ever made an effin move.” (Paraphrase-Dude, whatcha waitin’ for?)

Tempest Rose-“I’ve dated almost all of my friends.” (Paraphrase-New people suck.)

Winterbayne-Yes (Paraphrase-Move on.)

qwietpleez-“. . . I married him.” (I come from a small community.)

Luccia Gray-“No” (Paraphrase-My wish is for a dish of uncommon rarity to mine eyes.)

hubilicious-“. . . why not?!” (Paraphrase-Game on like a like a . . . something rhyming with on.)

ifollowislands-“. . . what can you lose?” (Paraphrase-Can’t deny that feeling so high.)

Serins-“. . . yes . . . no . . . ” (Paraphrase-Huh?)

FlorenceT-“Yes” (Paraphrase-Ron, are you trying to ask me something?)

 

Result: Yes

 

Do you feel discriminated against in grocery stores with the shelves so high?

PennyLaneThoughts-“No” (Paraphrase-Desperate for questions?)

ifollowislands
I Follow Islands

Mara Eastern-No (Paraphrse-I see tall people.)

eclecticalli-No. (Paraphrase-I have style I  have grace Rita Hayward gave good . . . what was the question.? Vogue Vogue Vogue.)

Tempest Rose-oooo (Paraphrase-Ron, feels discriminated for the low shelves because he’s tall and has osteoarthritis and herniated discs throughout his spine.)

Winterbayne-“Hadn’t thought about it.” (Paraphrase-Thanks Ron for making me notice!)

qwietpleez-“Nah” (Paraphrase-I say that but I shouldn’t h ave to ask help for nothing.)

Luccia Gray-“Never” (Paraphrase-I do not dwell on matters not of utmost import.)

hubilicious-“Should I?” (Paraphrase-Any other questions, Ron.)

Serins-Marketing (Paraphrase-I think I will over think this to the guy that was in marketing.)

FlorenceT-“Yes” (Paraphrase-Tall people are evil.)

 

Result: No

 

What is the biggest turnoff in a relationship to you?

PennyLaneThoughts-“I think my biggest thing is dishonesty.” (Paraphrase-Turned off by most men.)

Serins
Serins Sphere

eclecticalli-“Dishonesty. Meanness. Lack of respect.” (Paraphrase-Turned off by most men.)

Tempest Rose-“. . . everything.” (Paraphrase-Men suck.)

Winterbayne-“Arrogance & overcompensation in an attempt to impress me.” (Paraphrase-Turned off by most men.)

qwietpleez-“When people try to control their partner OR are entirely too dependent on them.” (Paraphrase-Turned off by most men.)

Luccia Gray-“Rude, unclean, or drunk men . . .” (Paraphrase-Your gender is deplorable.)

hubilicious-“Dishonesty” (Paraphrase-Turned off by most men.)

ifollowislands-“A football fanatic.” (Paraphrase-Turned off by most men.)

Florence T
Meanings & Musings (Florence T)

Serins-“I don’t know” (Paraphrase-Men are cool.)

FlorenceT-“Narcissistic and/or crass men” (Paraphrase-I’ll answer with as many things as I like.)

 

Result: Looks like Dishonesty

 

Well there you have it. We have some answers. Don’t be surprised if there is a follow up to this about what I think about the answers and results.

 

Much Respect

Ronovan

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Sexy Intelligence. A #FemaleFocusedFriday article. Men join in.

Intelligence is sexy. Some of y’all think of a movie stereotype nerd or geek when hearing the word intelligent, but it’s not the rule, it’s the exception. I’ve mentioned before in a Confession what the mind does for me. I thought I would elaborate about . . .

Sexy Intelligence

marilyn_monroe_reading_bo.jpgokAh, Marilyn Monroe. Considered the greatest sex symbol of all time. Yes she was beautiful and sexy. Master of the empty look  in a full figure. What makes this photo sexy, and a few others I’ve seen? She isn’t posing, she is engrossing. Marilyn wasn’t just a pretty face and body, she had the brains to go with it. Her career shows you that. She just happened to be foolish enough to fall into the dark part of the world. A bleached blond angel bound for disaster. A highway to crack up central.

 

People find all  manner of things appealing and desirable. Look at a list of fetishes and I am certain you will discover some surprising revelations. Of course the foot fetish comes to mind when thinking of fetish. I can understand finding a woman’s feet attractive. You can do a lot with a massage.

I have an Intellect Fetish.  I need to explain what I mean by intellect. Intellect to me is not just knowing facts. Intellect is knowing how to properly use the information you have and in a manner that does not come across as a condescending, arrogant, jerk face.

You have the looks, the style, grace, the complete package, and then you speak. It doesn’t take long ti realize the elevator doesn’t reach the top floor.

I’m not saying you need to spell words correctly in a blog, heaven knows I mess up at times. You may even use the wrong word, it happens. But it’s your message that makes it happen for me and I am sure for others. Give me a brain with a decent packaging and I’ll take it over the Christmas wrap and a child’s toy any day.

 

Ladies AND Men

What do you find sexy and what makes you feel sexy?

Answer both or one.

 

 

 

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New around here

Here’s my first blog writing on The Obscure Dreamer site.
Much Respect
Ronovan

Things I Need to Know From Women

Curiosity killed the cat, I just hope it doesn’t run over Ronovan. There are things I wonder about. Some are important and some are not. Having a blog I get to ask these questions without the fear of being damaged bodily. Although I am certain I may hear about it through Twitter DMs, About page message system, emails, and even facebook messages. I am entirely too accessible.

Things I Need to Know From Women

 

Are bra’s comfortable at all?

The mere thought of having to wear a harness freaks me out. It’s like having to hook up a guide dog for service. I just can’t imagine. Come to think of it, I am happy I can’t image. I have a great imagination but brassiere wearing isn’t a great image apparently. At least not on me. I will stop at that with this one.

 

Do you like g-string undies?

I just had to ask this. A friend said she only wore them with certain outfits because of VPL. I had to google VPL, I thought her auto correct had malfunctioned. Shoelaces for undies seems so uncomfortable. Yes, men seem to get a thrill out of the idea but have them wear them and see how long that lasts. I just threw up a little in my mouth. Personally I would rather a woman wear those cheekies, I think they are called. They are probably just as uncomfortable but at least they leave something to the imagination and to me are just sexy.

 

Is drawing with a pencil around your eyes fun?

If I had taken a pencil and started drawing around my eyes with it as a child I would have been punished. Even little girls would have been. But it’s a huge business for adults. Eye liner, mascara . . . have you ever thought how scarey mascara sounds?

 

Do you like the feminine product commercials?

I just can’t imagine sitting there with the family and suddenly certain commercials come on and  my son looks at me and begins to ask questions. I am trying to think of a man product that would be similar. I am sure there should be but men aren’t willing to admit it. I suppose hemorrhoid cream would be the closest. But I just don’t see how anyone would want their bodily functions, which are beyond their control spread across the television screen.

 

Do you like products that change colors and the like just to attract your dollars?

Do you really care what color your pens are? I even read that one college in Canada was banning various colored ink due to their being racist or discriminatory. Do you prefer your ink to be pink or is okay with you if it’s blue?

 

If a man has a nose hair waving at you on a date, do you still kiss him?

You like the fellow, he’s been nice and sweet and you have thought about that goodnight moment at the door. Then on approach the nose hair waves at you. If you kiss him it might even touch you. What do you do? What . .  . do . . . you . . . do?

 

If a blind date goes badly do you hate the friend that set you up?

It happens. I know none of the ladies reading this ever had to go on a blind date. But let us say hypothetically you did go on one, what would you do if it went badly?

a) Forgive the friend

b) Disown the friend

c) Get revenge and set said friend up with the worst possible date you can find (Sorry, I’m not medically allowed to drive yet.)

 

Would you date a friend?

The killer happens. You go out with . . . a friend. Is it possible? Can it work? What if it doesn’t? Can you remain friends after having . . . you know . . . done the deed . . . kissed? It happens and if it goes unchecked the friends just keep going down the path to marriage and so on and so forth without that in love aspect. Would you date a friend?

 

 

Do you feel discriminated against in grocery stores with the shelves so high?

So you are elevatededly challenged and you approach the soft drink aisle. And of course what you want is on the top shelf. I know a lady of 68 who stepped on the bottom shelf to reach the bottles. She is maybe a hair over 5 feet tall. The bottle slipped and came down on her head. Now if it had been the side of the bottle it might have been okay. The problem  is it came down straight bottle cap first. Is it rational to have the shelves so high when you can never find anyone to help? I don’t know how many times I’ve had to help people get things down in stores. Is it a form of discrimination or insensitivity law?

 

What is the biggest turnoff in a relationship to you?

Not much I can say here. This one is really up to y’all to speak on.

 

Those are just some of the things that came to mind recently that I need to know from women.

Much Respect

Ronovan

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