Life

Prayers needed.

Ronovan Life

Prayer warrior needs. Especially tonight. Healing needed. Thank you in advance.

Ronovan

How I became Cat-Man.

Ronovan Humor, Life , , , , , , ,

I tell you, sometimes I just wish I had stood in bed. I understand what that means and I am sure you can decipher it. There are just some Southern expressions even I am not quite sure of how they came about. I can pretty much figure out where some came from, because  lot of them make sense. Stood in bed? Not sure about that.

But as I am speaking this it’s late on Friday night. Yes, I said speaking. You see I have voice to text so I can still write when the hands are bad and well . . . let’s just say right now is one of those times.

Back before my accident I was a dog guy. Loved dogs, English Bulldogs especially for an obvious reason.

UGA VIII

But I grew up with Shelties. My parents and I had three through the years. One of the best dogs you can own. If you don’t click the link, think miniature Lassie/Collie. But for some reason they have  toy poodle now that is not so toy and very much poodle.  But my son ‘B’ is allergic to dogs so no more dogs and to be honest it is selfish to own a dog when you don’t have time to properly play with it and give it the attention it needs.

Gray cat with glow in the dark green eyes.

Then the accident, the fall in my home. Well one day I was looking out the window and saw a cute little creature, a cat. She was so tiny and adorable. I say she now because many of you have heard of Kitty and seen her. Kitty was at first named Alfred or Albert, I can’t quite remember, whatever comes in a can. I bit of humor that amused me. Well it became obvious that Albert was not an Albert. It became obvious when “Daddy” kitty showed up. He was not known as “Daddy” kitty at the time. He was known as “that” cat. Kitty was only allowed to stay because I loved her and she was the first thing that had made me venture outside and enjoy life. Oh those feminine wiles.

As you probably know, Kitty decided for some reason to have children.

Kitty And the Crew - CopyCautious in the back being, well cautious.

Fluffy (Dark coloring)

Spunky-The ever alert.

And of course Kitty who looks very much dazed here.

Yes they all earned their names.Spunky_loving_B

Kitty will no longer have children. As she is an outdoor cat, especially, that was taken care of. The idea was to give the kittens away. Suddenly ‘B’ became fond of Spunky. I must say if you met Spunky you would be fond of him too. Yes, that is Spunky loving on B’s foot. Spunky also comes when calls,  or whistled for and likes to play fetch. He also likes to walk to the mail box and back with you while winding through your feet. No, we have not seen any white dogs in the neighborhood.

The morning of what has come to be known as Cat Friday began normally except I slept a little later as I had no reason go arise and help get B going for school. The house was going to gather two cats to take to the vet to ensure no children in the future. I know, there are three, but remember, Cautious earned his name.

Apparently two adults cannot successfully wrangle two cats. Oh sure, anyone can pick Spunky up and put him in a carrier. The only thing is you must be able to handle the heartbreaking “Neoo neoo” sound. Yes, he sounds like he is saying “No, No” and you wish you could die then and there but you must push onward. Then it came time for Fluffy.

Fluffy Kitten CatFluffy is larger than this now. Gorgeous cat. Beautiful markings and these gold colored eyes. Looks all sweet and cuddly doesn’t she? After two adults returned from the vet after dropping off two cats the comment of choice was “If I could tape a $20 to her head for someone to take her I would.”

You see, Fluffy might should have been named Feisty, or perhaps Tiger, or Berserker. Yes, cuddly looking kitty is not so cuddly. However in recent weeks she has agreed to be petted. Epic failure occured and then that is when I arose from slumber.

It was now my turn to capture the Fluffinator 3000 Blender. I had not been told at this point she had already escaped and almost clawed one of the aforementioned adults. The plan was made and I patiently outlasted FluffBotKillRon Mark V. I scooped her up, and held her close. There success ended.

The idea was for the door to be opened and I allowed inside to place the beast precious kitty into the carrier. They know what a carrier is so it could not be outside. I say “Open the door”. I hear “B, get out of the way.” At that moment I knew trouble was afoot. I had only seconds from capture to carrier before cuckoo  occurred. Those seconds had passed. The screen door opened and in a I went.

So near yet so far. The claws engaged. The squirming commenced. Assistance? Epic Fail!

The adult assisting and that had said  thew words “B, get out of the way” belong to a soon to be 70 year old 5 foot tall woman known as Grandma. After all once you have a child, no one has a proper name any longer. Grandma is the one that helps drive me places and the like and watches me during the day and we are staying with her since my accident.

As she proceeded to lock the back screen door and then close the door, yes I did say what you think you read, Fluffykins becomes FluffyInsanity. I was going to say Fluffynuts but I didn’t think that sounded right for some reason. As soon as the outdoors disappeared that was the beginning of the end of what should have been a pleasant morning and day.

Before I describe the end, I will simply say people will ask why I did not release the beast. Well, if I had the beast would have sprang onto Grandma’s head and face. Grandma has Lupus and perhaps Fibromyalgia as well, among her other problems. Yes, my mind works like that and as well as it is my fault Kitty is there and thus the kittens are there and that if I let her go and she somehow got out of the house we would never catch her again. Yes, I really did think of all of that in the seconds of the fight that occurred.

I won the battle and the war. I won it for love these cats and my son’s fondness for them. I was close to 100% anti cat before my accident. Then I fell in love with Kitty.

Right arm:

Scratches from the elbow down and possible bites. Too many to tell which are which. Back of hand looks like fang marks could be claws but considering the pain I think it’s a bite. Fingers scratched up and bitten.

Left arm:mummy

One scratch on actual arm, index finger bitten in several places. Thumb, the base of the nail is cracked and the underside of the thumb where the bottom tooth tried to meet the top tooth is extremely swollen and red and I must admit painful.

Chest:

Scratches

Face:

Scratches and bite marks including a bite on the bottom lip.

Why did I not let her go?

What she did to me could have been done to a 70 year old woman with immune problems. All I did was hold on and pull Fluffy back as she almost escaped and leaped on Grandma. As she bit my lip I closed my eyes in the hopes they would not get clawed. As she was biting down on my thumb assistance, Grandma, finally made it to the carrier and I was able to put Fluffy in.

Needless to say that B saw it happen. He saw the blood on my face and arms and hands. He has been worried all day.

Two cats will be picked up tomorrow, one will hide for I don’t know how long or will disappear until hungry. All I care is that she is now taken care of and wont’ contribute to the population and won’t have to fend off the cats that have been coming around.

Spunky will walk out of his carrier and head to the back door for a treat. Yes, he has been to the vet a couple of times before. He just doesn’t like the trip, but loves the attention he gets there because he is so pretty and loves on everyone that will touch him.

What would I do differently? Things happen. B was curious. Grandma is old and has a habit with the back door. Fluffy was defending herself. Why am I not at the hospital? Fluffy would be put down if I went.

So what would I do differently? Have had someone taping the whole thing. I really would like to see what it looked like as Fluffy bit my lip. You know men always want that woman to get all frisky and attack them and kiss them and bite that lip. Men, let me tell you, go to your own version of the vet and get yourself taken care of so you don’t want that kind of loving any longer. Trust me, it’s not as all that as you think.

Articles may be slow in coming for the next week or so, but I will try to keep up my pace. You know me, I find a way. Where there’s a pill, there’s a way. A little medication joke there. (Yes, next time the furry bag of bones is getting a dose of something in her cat food, yes she is, the adorable little thing.)

Meowch Respect

Cat Man Ronovan

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People Hate Me

Ronovan Life , , , , ,

Did you know people hate me?

Sounds impossible I know but they do. I am an odd person. I have strange ailments. Today let’s talk about Amnesia. Mine is persisting in much of the areas of my life.

First of all I don’t want people to think this is a pity article. I’m fine. When I say I am fine, I really mean it. I am merely sharing this for people to understand why things happen in my life the way they do and perhaps they have experiences with someone and this might help explain it. So really, I handle this all the time, every day, so no worries, Okay?

For those of you not aware, I fell in my home and received a concussion which caused Retrograde Amnesia, meaning memories before the accident as well as Short Term Amnesia, meaning I have problems retaining current information. Now you know why I write so much. Think of this Blog as my notes on life and even my poetry can tell me where and what I was at during a given day.

The Short Term Memory Loss is the issue here. Mine tends to be when I sleep, or am absent from something too long. My mind also apparently uses it as a defense against reminders of bad situations.

I recent times my Chronic Fatigue has been flaring up in a big way resulting in a lot of sleep, not good for the memory. I’ve forgotten people. I’ve forgotten friends.

Why do people hate me?

I forget them. That’s bad. I know it. But then there is something in my mind that says run. There is an element of fear there. Did you know a big guy like me fears something like forgetting people and their hating him? Yeah, it happens. I have a lot of issues in life to deal with, one is my son. Can you imagine being 10 and having a father who has Amnesia, Fibromyalgia, Osteoarthritis, Chronic Fatigue, Light and Sound Sensitivity and isn’t allowed to drive yet?

My son worries about me every day. He checks on me all the time. He doesn’t know that I notice but I do. I see him looking in my room to make sure I am okay. Yeah, my son has to be the kid with the weirdo dad. I try to act as normal as can be around him but there are limitations.

Then I have people that hate me.

My number of waking hours each day have dwindled. My writing here has dwindled, my writing on LitWorldInterviews has dwindled recently. I did NaNoWriMo but i felt obligated after agreeing to it and that’s where the most of the waking hours went. My mind operates differently than most I suppose.

So for those hate me . . .

Okay. once I get all those other problems under control, maybe I cam make it so people won’t hate me as much. For now, I am just trying to stay awake long enough to see my son at night and trying to get up in the mornings to see him off to school.

Much Respect

Ronovan

Ron_LWI

 

 

PS-I would have mentioned the 24/7 Migraines I have but I thought that was over kill.

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Validated! #NaNoWriMo 2014

Ronovan Life, Writing , , , , , , ,

Winner-2014-Web-BannerNational Novel Writing Month

Finally had the courage to validate it today. 50, 292 words of a YA adventure book. Nice experience and now I might have some time to get back to Blog World.

I even made a cover for it. I don’t know how Chris The Story Reading Ape does it.

Yes I put his link in there because seriously, if you have an author for a significant other, child, sibling, parent, or whatever and you want to give them a gift for Christmas they would love you for life for, go there and contact Chris. A custom designed book cover is a dream come true.

Much Respect

Ronovan

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The Best I Ever Had

Ronovan Life, Videos/Music , , , , , , ,

I love a song. A beautiful song. It’s a remake of a Vertical Horizon song called  Best I Ever Had. The remake or cover is by country artist Gary Allan. As with any song the lyrics can take on the meaning you give to them. I often focus on the title words Best I Ever Had. But the song is a painful song, and perhaps that is why I connect to it. I hear the loss in Gary Allan’s voice, the pain, the sincerity that only he could give to this song.

Gary Allan went downstairs to get his wife a Coke that she asked for because she said she felt sick. Minutes later he heard a pop. He returned to the bedroom to find she had removed a gun from his gun safe under the bed and committed suicide. I prefer not to go into the details.

It took Allan some time to get to a place where he could really deal with it all and this was the song he recorded. Some looked at it in the beginning as some strange change in his style and had issues with it. I did not even know who he was but the song hit me.

Best I Ever Had can be given to so many different things. The obvious being love.

As I was finding a song to share today and came across this many old things came to mind. One in particular was the day I dropped the family off after church. It was the worst time of my adult life and the sermon that day hit me. I drove. I had no idea of what was to happen, but I needed to get away and be alone. I had not had time alone to deal with a situation that had occurred, a  life changing situation.

The happy face

Had to be in place

An no one was the wiser

I went driving. I said I went to a local park but it was closed for that time of the year. I just drove. Finding an empty parking lot I stopped and sat there. I didn’t break down and release it all. Thoughts came to mind of failure, disappointment and how things would be better and solved if I just came up with the final solution. But then the little face came to mind.

When I was in the hospital this past year after a fall in my home, I remembered a little face. A little face that led me through all the strangeness and confusion. Small faces help so often to keep us in reality and force our selfishness away.

I still have those moments every day of failure. I have forgiven myself for the life changing situation but I have also given the message to never let me drive off alone when remotely depressed. I have a grasp on reality for now, I know it, I am okay with it, and thus I am fine.

This song as I’ve learned of its meaning for Gary Allan adds to the beauty of it. In this song Allan gives the Best HE Ever Had in a vocal performance. For me this song means every possible meaning, even in a way a happy meaning. Yes, you can give it that if you look at it  that way, as that was my original intent in sharing it.

I don’t want people to think there is anything wrong or that I am looking for attention, I am simply sharing a story of my life with you. Hoping that part of me helps a part of someone that might be reading.

 

So you sailed away into a grey sky morning
Now I’m here to stay, love can be so boring
And nothing’s quite the same now
I just say your name now

But it’s not so bad
You’re only the best I ever had
You don’t want me back
You’re just the best I ever had

So you stole my world, now I’m just a phony
Remembering the girl leaves me down and lonely
We’ll send it in a letter
Make yourself feel better

But it’s not so bad
You’re only the best I ever had
You don’t want me back
You’re just the best I ever had

And it might take some time to patch me up inside
But I can’t take it so I, I run away and hide
And I might find in time that you were always right
You’re always right

So you sailed away into a grey sky morning
Now, I’m here to stay, love can be so boring
Was it what you wanted?
Could it be I’m haunted?

But it’s not so bad
You’re only the best I ever had
You don’t want me back
You’re just the best I ever had
You’re just the best I ever had

Much Respect

Ronovan

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Humble before a Fall-A Poem

Ronovan Life, Poetry , , , , , ,

Be humble in your ways every day
Boasting and bragging are arrogance
You may not know the path you take
But pride in ways has no relevance

Do what you do with a knowledge of grace
For you were given talents before you were born
Their recognition and nurturing up
Are rarities in this world where a crown is made of thorn

Continue in this way and your life will reveal
You are more than even you can believe
As you throw off those stresses and pressures
And hold onto that which will relieve

Be humble my friends
Be thankful for your gift
For as sure as you become arrogant
You and they will be broken by a rift

I was prideful in my former years. I made note of what happened in my life. I made a prideful statement and not long after, my world turned upside down. No, I do not think a punishment was sent down to give me a lesson. What I do think happens is in our pride and arrogance perhaps we do foolish things that bring about the humbling of us. I advise all today not to wait for those humbling moments, humble yourself now.

 

Much Respect

Ronovan

Ron_LWI

 

 

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What have I done? #NaNoWriMo ? Yes, I signed up. AIIEIIEIIE!

Ronovan Life , , ,

Wherever I go,
I will never know
What it’s like to show
The badge of woe
Unless I join the flow
And enter . . .  yes, enter . . . NaNoWriMo
~Ronovan

 

What have I done?

What have I gotten myself into?

Yes, true believers, Ronovan Writes has entered the . . . dun dun dun . . .

NaNoWriMo Zone!!!

(cue Twilight Zone music)

NaNoWriMo.jpg(now cue Lost in Space TV show music)

Several people had asked me about this odd sounding thing. Me? Where would I find the time? I am not really that good a writer. I call myself a hack. I can write short pieces. But a full novel? Then, here I am in the middle of a Fibro Flare and they catch me. I entered.

50,000 words in 30 days? A novel?

Why pray tell am I even mentioning this?

Because I may be scared scarce around here for a bit. You know me though, I’ll be here just as much, the idiot that I am. I just don’t know when to quit. I’ll be perhaps sharing my exploits in the NaNoWriMo Zone with all of you. Wish me luck and an increase in the dosage of my medications, I actually have an appointment tomorrow and very likely this will happen as they try to find a maintenance level. What good timing.

Me, doing NaNoWriMo. What have I gotten myself into?

Much Knee Shaking

Ronovan

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My Boy ‘B’ and the ‘Safe Room’.

Ronovan Life , , , ,

My boy ‘B’ was hysterical yesterday morning.

You know, kids are the greatest things ever when you have them. Not everyone has them, you know. So really I can’t say they are the greatest thing ever for everyone. For me they are.

Imagine alarms going off and you’re 10 years old and being rushed into a safe room.  Yes, a ‘safe room’. And you are 10 and you know it is called a ‘safe room’. ‘B’ is smart. I’ve mentioned that before. Now when I say smart, I don’t just mean the kind that every parent talks. The boy is actually gifted. Freaky smart. He does math in his head in a way that just freaks me out. He tries to explain it and I just stare at him and nod.

He had a teacher that said never try to fix what isn’t broken. He has a gift for it so leave him alone. No problem there, dudette.

But you know what? He’s 10 years old. We forget how our kids are kids these days. They are pushed to be older. People say, “You can’t protect them forever, you have to let them grow up sometime.” or “They can’t watch Public Television forever.”

Pardon me as I revert to a full blown parental mode for a moment. “Shut up, you freakin’ jerks!”

I’m better now. Can you believe I was told that I should let my, what, maybe 4 year old watch shows with guns in it, like violent cartoons and play with toy guns? That he had to learn sometime about guns? That is when my calmer Dad side came out, “When he is old enough to know the difference between real guns and toy guns, one that kills and one that looks real but squirts water, then he might play with toy guns or watch TV shows with a touch more animated violence.” The conversation ended there. It was made clear that parenting of my son was my business.

Do you want to know what ‘B’ watches on his own? He watches Public Television, yes the cartoons, because they are educational. Yes, he likes to learn about animals and dinosaurs and books. And guess what? He likes to watch This Old House and Antiques Road Show. I will walk through the room and he’s watching them discuss  a Civil War rifle and he starts telling me about it.

A child is a parent’s life. At least until they leave the house after graduating. At that point, so long, don’t come asking for money, and keep your laundry to yourself.

But at the age of 10 and 45 minutes from you, in a ‘safe room’ with alarms constantly sounding? The child is your life.

Yesterday . . . here, I was mostly fine . . . in this location. My son however ended up right in the line of fire . . . of a Tornado. Fortunately he got there before the bottom fell out of the sky.  Actually the bottom fell out before he got there but was close enough.

Of course my day was spent watching the weather maps. Checking for what it was like when it was time for him to leave. He left his school about 20 minutes before another Tornado came through. Fortunately he was picked up about 30 minutes early.

Why am I telling you all of this? Well this is my blog, and this is where I share things. I used to keep all of this inside so he wouldn’t see the worry, and I still do. You see I am the calm one. I am the one that doesn’t make a big deal out of things. How that is, I have no idea? But apparently I have this thing with kids, even though I never really liked them much. Unless you are a child that I call my own, I tend not to really like you much. No, that’s not quite right. I simply do not seek out your attention.

So what happens? I am like that person that can’t stand cats who visits a person with a cat. The cat can tell something is not right. It knows you are paying it extra attention for some reason so it decides to give you extra attention.

When I would be in a classroom of 1rst grade students, if I sat down there would be one in my lap in seconds. Now I love little girls. What man does not want a little Daddy’s girl? But that’s a big uh uh. So here I am, Fibromyalgia and Osteoarthritis, not knowing any of that yet, and having to stand for 8 hours.

Yes, I look like a big red teddy bear.

So I have rambled a bit longer than I intended, not that I intended to ramble. And now I am at the end.

Kids are great. When you get mad at your kid, and you know you will, think of ‘safe room’ and your child being led away to a ‘safe room’. Then decide if you are still mad.

 

Much Respect

ron_full_river - cropped

 

 

 

 

Ronovan

Yep, the buttons are up and over if you want to follow me anywhere.

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Between a Rock and Harder Rock: A Mom’s Life.

Ronovan Life , , , , ,

Meet Kate of Dazzling Whimsy. I’ve known her for years and well, it was time that as someone has called me “Uncle Ron” to have a talk with her daughters. So what better place than their mother’s blog, right? By the way, if you ever read my article about Marfan Syndrome and Beautiful ‘M’, that’s one of Kate’s daughters.
Much Respect
Ronovan

Ronovan's avatarDazzling Whimsy

A mother is someone who does it allKate

She’s there whenever her girls take a fall

She isn’t appreciated like she should be

Even though the trouble she goes through is plain to see

I was going to write a poem about a mother, but after starting this is as far as I got. My mind drifted because a poem tells a story but not always in a direct way. Since Kate isn’t here right now I thought I would let you guys in on a little secret.

She rocks as a mom.

She works all day teaching special education and then works all afternoon and evenings, well often for her the gym her daughters competitive cheer for. She has pretty much killed herself over the course of time doing it all. She does it pretty much all on her on too.

Kate's Girls

She has great daughters, really they are like…

View original post 339 more words

Throwback Thursday: The College Years.

Image Ronovan Life , , ,

Not even I can explain the hair or shirt. But I thought it would be funny to see the young me.

Ron_CollegeRon River - Copy

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hope you enjoy. Laugh a little. Go ahead. It’s Okay.

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2014 © Copyright-All rights reserved-RonovanWrites.wordpress.com

Female Feature Friday: 10 Quotes of Anaïs Nin

Ronovan Life , , , , , , , , , ,

Writing a blog allows for you to stumble upon things you have never experienced or perhaps have forgotten you once knew. I ran across a quote a time ago that spoke to people and they commented on the author of the quote. Since then I have read some other quotes and this had lead me to list a few of my shorter favorites today.

10 Quotes of Anaïs Nin

anais_nin.jpg

1

“We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.”
― Anaïs Nin

My Thoughts: We interpret things based on our own experiences and thus preconceived ideas instead basing them on what they are as intended/

2

“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage.”
― Anaïs Nin

My Thoughts: If you aren’t brave enough to take steps then you stay where you are in your own little space of the world, especially in love, as I see life and love as greatly connected.

3

“I am only responsible for my own heart, you offered yours up for the smashing my darling. Only a fool would give out such a vital organ”
― Anaïs Nin

My Thoughts: A little cold for me. I am out for everyone’s heart but I see the meaning as a defense to protect one’s own heart, seemingly at all costs.

4

“From the backstabbing co-worker to the meddling sister-in-law, you are in charge of how you react to the people and events in your life. You can either give negativity power over your life or you can choose happiness instead. Take control and choose to focus on what is important in your life. Those who cannot live fully often become destroyers of life.”
― Anaïs Nin

My Thoughts: This goes along with a couple of articles I wrote about not letting others control you. You are ultimately responsible for those things that are within your decision/choice making area.

5

“Anxiety is love’s greatest killer. It makes others feel as you might when a drowning man holds on to you. You want to save him, but you know he will strangle you with his panic.”
― Anaïs Nin

My Thoughts: When one is having problems in a relationship then all are having a problem. Seeing it happening is like that panicked swimmer that you know is going to grab you and push you under without even realizing it, even though you are trying to save them.

6

“People living deeply have no fear of death.”
― Anaïs Nin

My Thoughts: Those who live happily are not afraid of what they have not yet done and would miss out upon.

7

“Do not seek the because – in love there is no because, no reason, no explanation, no solutions.”
― Anaïs Nin, Henry And June

My Thoughts: Perhaps a bit of disagreement in that this does not apply to all, but I can see that love is not always explainable. Sometimes you just have to let it be.

8

“There are two ways to reach me: by way of kisses or by way of the imagination. But there is a hierarchy: the kisses alone don’t work.”
― Anaïs Nin, Henry And June

My Thoughts: Oddly this is a belief of my own. Kisses with out the imagination behind them, for me intelligence, is not going to do it in regards to love.

9

“The secret of joy is the mastery of pain.”
― Anaïs Nin

My Thoughts: We all go through pain. Here I do not believe is a reference to actual physical pain but instead to teh pain of the heart in relation  to love. Yet, having mastery over both pains makes life more joyful.

10

“We are like sculptors, constantly carving out of others the image we long for, need, love or desire, often against reality, against their benefit, and always, in the end, a disappointment, because it does not fit them.”
― Anaïs Nin

My Thoughts: Some of us want love so badly that we grab onto the first reasonable solution to loneliness and then try to turn that person into what we have dreamed  of. It doesn’t work.?

Which quote is your favorite and why?

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Down and Out.

Ronovan Life

Some have expressed concern as I did not put out massive amounts of content on Wednesday. I only had one piece. I schedule at least one piece per day a week out in case I get like this.

My Fibromyalgia is flaring up bad and the Migraines have been even worse than that.

I am not dead. Depressed, sure, aren’t we all at some point? 🙂

But I am taking it easy a couple of days in hopes things will improve.

 

As for my blog posts. There has been concern expressed that my poem somehow is showing up multiple times in Reader and that perhaps I am rescheduling it. I haven’t been here to do so. And although that is a tip/trick I have written about, I don’t use it as it takes up too much of my writing time. I rely on tweets these days.

 

For those of you sending messages of concern, they are so greatly appreciated. I wish I had been here to reply and settle your thoughts. Yes, I am not feeling great. But it’s all good.

 

I will do the Decipher reveal when I can. Looks like we had a good response to it this week.

 

Much Respect to Y’all

Ronovan

Silence Has Entered The World

Image Ronovan Life

blue_background - Copy - Copy - Copy

8 Uplifting Things from the List of THE LATEST on CNN.com.

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I’ve been told by several people now that I write too much about the L word here on my site. (Waving to all of you and you know who you are.) I would have included a smiley but it would have looked odd with the parenthesis. Okay. I shall talk about other things today.

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What pray tell might those things be?

 

I decided to go with the list of . . .

 

8 Uplifting  Things from the List of THE LATEST on CNN.com.

 

TRAVEL

Hawaii is a beautiful place, obviously. Reminds me of Elvis and all those old movies of his. Hawaii is getting ready to be hit by two cyclones. I have a friend there I care about a great deal that has been driving everywhere to find water and get the other things she needs before they hit. I hope no one dies. She’s a good friend and we share a lot of similar problems. I don’t want to lose her. I had put the thought of the cyclones out of my mind enough to be okay. Thanks for the reminder of the death possibilities.

 

ENTERTAINMENT

The Doors and Jim Morrison, who can forget that voice? You wonder what he would have done if he had lived. Marianne Faithful said her ex killed Jim Morrison. Too much heroine. My half-brother died of a drug induced heart attack around the age of twenty. He had been doing hard drugs for years. That and my bio father’s alcoholism are two of the reasons I don’t drink or even smoke. Thanks for the reminder.

 

RELIGION

Peace in Gaza for the moment, a wonderful thing. Jews used to use the blood of non Jews in their holy matzos or so says a spokesman for Hamas. He says it’s true according to the Jews own books and things. I say “Show me the books, undoctored, or shut up”. Even then if it were true of the old it doesn’t mean it is true of the today. Of course they mention the myth of the Jews killing Jesus. Perhaps I am just too aware of the Bible to fathom this myth. More attempts to sway things one way or the other and both sides do it, but CNN happened to put this one up. As I said in a poem over the weekend, God made the peace and we destroyed it. But this isn’t a place time for Bible speak. Racism and the killing and deaths because of stupid things, at least this didn’t remind me of a death this time, just the near death of my cousin as the KKK whipped him and his black friend as they were tied to a tree. Thanks for the reminder.

 

 HEALTH

Ebola-People dying. 2 people arrived in Atlanta. It was on the news, which I can’t watch but see as I pass by the TV. I know it is happening. People are dying. Children are dying. People here in Atlanta are worried the suits will tear. I have a deep reason for not wanting to hear about children dying, that I recently found out about but had lost a memory of due to my amnesia. I am doing everything I can to forget it again. Yeah, the one memory I never wanted to be reminded of, thanks for the reminder.

 

POLITICS

Obama wants to plug a tax loophole. May I have something new please? How stop spending what we don’t have? It’s like a household budget, what can you control in your house budget? You can control what you spend. But I don’t want to get into politics. Both parties have good and bad about them. There is no one perfect party. Everyone, in truth does not vote for the best candidate, but the least awful one. At least there are no death reminders other than those that were dying in the veterans who were on waiting lists and all because of bureaucratic garbage. Glad my 82 year old step-father doesn’t have to rely on the VA although he’s veteran. You can see his picture from a father’s day post if you want to.

 

WORLD EVENTS

A Chinese city band beards? Well it also bans certain types of Islamic clothing along with the traditional beards by those riding buses during an upcoming event. One side says it is part of the anti terror policy of the year in China, the other says it is racism and a discrimination. I was the head of a small department for several years. I had Muslims working for me. I must have been very concerned for my safety? Perhaps it was from the Jews, Christians, Agnostics, and Atheists who all worked together harmoniously with each other along with the Muslims as good friends that I feared. Hmm. Thanks for the reminder of the bigot world, news world. Do I really need to say why this reminds me of death?

 

LIFE

A 9 year old was stabbed on a playground. I didn’t go into the story itself. My son is 10. You’ve seen his help work in some photography. Thank you for putting that thought into my mind as he goes back to school tomorrow.

 

INSPIRATION

An 88 year old woman was buried alive in an earthquake for 50 hours. She was rescued. Thanks again for the reminder of my 91 year old grandmother recently out of the hospital. My parents traveled to see her and take care of her as part of my family went to their ‘meeting’. Turns out she hadn’t been being fed and had wasted down to nothing. My 82 year old step-father, more like 65, cooked for her every meal. She ate like crazy and gained 10 lbs in a week. They said she couldn’t eat solid foods. I guess that roast she ate was not solid? All three helpings? She used to cook and feed all of us on hardly any money. You can see her and read about her if you like. I know I have to very old people in my life that won’t be here much longer. Thank you for the reminder about the possibility of death there and loss.

 

Well, I hope you have enjoyed the no L word post. Perhaps this will give you a look into what future posts may look like. I’ve written other things than the L word but I do suppose I talk about it often. It’s my life. But as one person told me recently you can’t chase the L word you get it by trickery and some other thing I can’t remember. I don’t do trickery so I guess I will just stick to writing about world events.

 

Is that what we want to read about? Is that what I want to write about? In all honesty I can write about anything, as you may know if you’ve read enough of my blog, I just happen to write about certain things more than other. Perhaps I should move away from one subject so often.

 

Perhaps I will put out a poll asking what you most enjoy reading here on RonovanWrites. I’ve been wanting to do a poll so now maybe I have my topic.

 

Much Appreciation to all of You

Ronovan

 

 

2014 © Copyright-All rights reserved-RonovanWrites.wordpress.com

My Desires: My Letter of Confession to . . .

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I am a simple man. What I desire is obvious to anyone that wishes to discover.

What do I desire? I desire to be stimulated, mind over matter. Turn my mind on and you have me forever. Only turn my body on and have me for a few hours. I want to belong forever to . . .

What do I desire? I desire physical pleasure; a touch from love, a hand in mine that sends electricity through my body, a caress of my cheek that makes my body melt, a tender kiss that makes my body alive. I live because of . . .

What do I desire? I desire friendship far more than relationship. A friend understands, cares, is there, is honest, fights for you and with you if you are deserving of either. A friendship wants to be and does not have to be. I want to be wanted by . . .

What do I desire? I desire a tortured heart. A heart that has been destroyed and resurrected knows what love is. Some say you do not need to have been destroyed to know love. Perhaps, however for me I know what love is because I am destroyed every day. Every day that ends away from . . .

What do I desire? I desire that one person that I can never stop thinking about. At 2 AM my eyes open and a thought comes to mind and sleep is finished. Thoughts of the day ahead and the conversations I wish for play out in my mind. What will be today? I cannot stop thinking about  . . .

What do I desire? ‘What more could there be’ you might ask. Someone that consumes my mind, body, friendship, soul and thoughts is what I have shared, what is it I desire? What does all of this mean? You must know me well enough by now. You must know.

What one desire has not been revealed? The one I desire is . . .

 

 

2014 © Copyright-All rights reserved-RonovanWrites.wordpress.com

A Conversation

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A Conversation

by: Ronovan

 

“Tell me how you’ve been doing since the last time we spoke?”

 

At least the questioning was consistent. I supposed I should take comfort in there being something that remained the same. Of course that didn’t stop me from replying without the brain filter in place. “Do you really have to ask?” I kept staring at the ceiling tiles. I wondered if the room was really that dark.

 

There wasn’t a reply or even a sigh revealing a hint of disapproval or exasperation at my tone of wording. Not that I really expected one. “Okay, fine, I’m about the same as always. Is that what you wanted to me to say?”

 

“Only if that’s the way you’ve really been.”

 

Was that what they call passive aggressive? “Yeah,” I sighed. I had always wondered what that ‘sigh of an answer’ meant in reading but now I knew. You could sigh and speak at the same time. It’s like a surrender of spirit almost.

 

“Tell me how yesterday was.”

 

“It’s like every other day Pinky, I tried to recover my world,” I said.

 

No laugh. None expected. But I imagined old cartoon shows about mice weren’t on the viewing list.

 

“Where do you want me to start?” I stared at the spot on the ceiling where the shadows always made the dust look like a puppy if you looked just right.

 

“How did you sleep?”

 

The thought of ‘in a bed’ came to mind but I knew better than to be that sarcastic. There was being pretty tolerant and forgiving of my moods, and there was downright disrespectful. Even if I didn’t have the brain filter any longer I still knew better than to be downright disrespectful. “I woke up about 1:30 the first time, I think. The days tend to run together after so many being the same.”

 

“Are you sure it wasn’t 3:00 AM?”

 

I was wrong there was a sense of humor. “You’re a funny guy I don’t care what they say about you.”

 

“Why did you wake up this time?”

 

I smiled in spite of exhaustion. “This is a funny one. I think I actually breathed too hard.” I knew that wasn’t going to be enough of an answer, but it was the truth.

 

“How do you breathe too hard?

 

“Well, actually I just took a deep breath for some reason. It could be the sleep apnea.” But if it were sleep apnea then I would not be breathing at all, but then I would take big gulps of air. Okay so it might have been the sleep apnea.

 

“And why would the deep breath wake you up?”

 

I started counting the tiles in the ceiling, as if they had changed in number since last time, or the time before that, or even the time before that one. “Pain Monster didn’t like it.”

 

“The ‘pain monster’ is your lower back?”

 

“Yes,” I began. “At least that’s what woke me up. Then Neck Grinder started to protest as well.”

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The Drum Beats no Longer

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The Drum Beats no Longer

by: Ronovan

The Daily Prompt today asked about a musical instrument. It surprises me sometimes where a few words in print can lead you back to another life.

My bio-father was a musician, that is to say when he wasn’t doing other things for money. He recorded at Sun Records in Memphis, TN. Yes THAT Sun Records. And yes he was a truck driver. No, he wasn’t Elvis. But he was from Tupelo, MS. He was a drummer and singer primarily.

 

I don’t know if I ever heard him sing for certain. I had his record once until I smashed it into a million pieces and threw it away.

 

I’m told I would be placed on the side of a pool table and shoot pool as an infant and entertain the people while he performed. But things are passed down from one generation to the next. For me, I have rhythm. I can keep a beat without a thought.

 

Everything became a drum when I was tiny. Both sides of my family were musical. My maternal grandfather was a singer as well. Both musical men ended up leaving their families.

 

I was discouraged greatly in regards to music. I guess maybe it was because musicians were associated with wandering men in my family, or bad men. Now I write words to songs that I cannot put music to. I hear it in my mind but cannot put it to paper.

 

With my concussion and the results I cannot listen to music any longer. I guess finally they’ve won. No more music possibilities for me. I still write songs, but they are poems now. The reader can make their own music to match what they feel.

 

I never look at the bad as bad. You can always use it for something good. Sure, it’s bad for you but you can use that experience in life to help someone else. It only stays bad if you let it stay bad.

 

Much Respect

Ronovan

© Copyright-All rights reserved-RonovanWrites.wordpress.com-July 03, 2014.

Sunday Thought: You are Beautiful

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Sunday Thought: You are Beautiful

by: Ronovan

Do you ever wonder what God thinks of your looks? Or maybe you wonder if God favors those fashion model types over the . . . whatever other types you can think of . . . like . . . those who eat a hamburger and fries or pizza once a week maybe. It’s sad to say that some models aren’t even good enough any longer to the point that companies are photoshopping them thinner. I think it used to just be airbrushing marks or wrinkles.

 

Why even bother hiring models? Why don’t they just have CGI models and be done with it?

 

Jesus was perfect. Have you ever thought how Jesus looked? Do you think he looked like the Jesus from the Son of God movie?

 

Did you know the Bible describes the Messiah’s physical appearance?

 

“Who has believed our message
and to whom has the arm of the Lord been revealed?
He grew up before him like a tender shoot,
and like a root out of dry ground.
He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him,
nothing in his appearance that we should desire him.
He was despised and rejected by mankind,
a man of suffering, and familiar with pain.
Like one from whom people hide their faces
he was despised, and we held him in low esteem.”-Isaiah 53:1-3

 

After reading this passage it made so much sense that Jesus would not be the Brad Pitt of the ancient world. To follow Jesus you needed to follow him because you believed, not because you thought he was some above the norm handsome guy.

 

God knows the real you, the real way you look regardless of what you do to change. I know some young people that, as healthy young people look amazing but they wanted to fit in with the anorexic set because they thought that’s what was popular. As starving trying to fit in young people they just lost that healthy sparkle they had. The energy was gone and their eyes didn’t shine any longer.

 

God sent Jesus to save you as you are. He died for you as you are. No matter how pretty you are or what shape you are in, God deemed you worthy enough and beautiful enough to send Jesus to die for you, and Jesus agreed to do it.  Think about it.

 

And yes the copyright date is correct on this.

Copyright-All rights reserved-©RonovanWrites.wordpress.com-March 28, 2014.

Balloons – The Art Of Letting Go

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I’ve been Reblogging some of Amanda’s best articles while she’s been on vacation. Best to me from her means funny. One thing about funny people is that they are funny because they are really also sensitive and deep people. I TRY to be funny, but fall flat most of the time.
This is an article that shows Amanda is more than a punch line or laugh track. This great advice. I’m serious. You really do need to read this one.

The Notebook: A Life Lesson

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The Notebook: A Life Lesson

by: Ronovan

 

“Hey, Ron, check out that box over there and see what we can get rid of,” said Chet.

 

I pulled the box to me and began going through the sweaters, magazines and umbrellas. I wondered how people could lose so many things in a church and just not think of what happened to them.

 

The Bible was beautiful. I opened it and saw the name, Orthel Hopkins. I shook my head. His mother should have been looking for this already. Or maybe he had been hiding something else in his Bible cover so she didn’t know yet. I set it aside and would sneak it to him another time.

Read. The word jumped out at me. It was my hand writing. It looked like one of my notebooks. But why was it here?

“. . . had a great time and posted some fun vacation pictures for you. . .”

“Chet, I’ll be back later.” I didn’t wait for an answer. I only lived minutes away. The car didn’t even have time to cool inside before I was pulling into the driveway. Continue reading →