Life

Choose to Let Go

Ronovan Inspiration & Motivation , , , , , , , ,

I remember a time long ago when . . . wait a minute. No I don’t. I love amnesia jokes. Only an amnesiac can tell them though, so don’t get any ideas. I’m looking at you, what’s your name. You know who I’m talking about.

Over a year ago I had an epiphany, well actually I had an accident in my home. I think of that day as “A loss of” my mind and think how it turns out that it was the best thing that could have happened to me in many ways. I got a chance to do something many people wish they could do but just don’t seem to find the time or maybe even courage to do. I got the chance to . . .

Choose To Let Go

You see, I have these writings about my past. I can delve into them daily in an attempt to become who I once was. I can read memories including old grudges. I can stumble over great long forgotten, even before last summer, nuggets of wonderful. Being able to choose, in someways, is “Finding Freedom” from all of those influences that led me to have certain opinions about things that were muddied with opinions and thoughts not quite as straight forward as they are now.

Yeah, I could become that old me.

Or and this is a BIG or.

I can choose to let go of a past and concentrate on becoming someone that I want to be. I have the important parts of that past in front of me so why not concentrate on those and making my life better? The important memories return as they need to, such as “Church Playground Memories” I wrote about several months ago about my son.

You know there are a lot of things in life you can’t control. I’ve discovered that. The one thing you can control is how your mind works. Do you love? Do you hate? Do you pick this meal or that meal? Do you read this book or that book? There are a great many things you can control.

One of those things you can control is choice. Choose to let go of those things in your life that just get in the way of you moving forward and becoming that kind, loving, creative, inspiring and whatever other positive words you can think of, person.

I had to let go of a lot of things. I even let go of family. Sounds bad doesn’t it? This part of my family was a negative influence on my recovery. Each time I see this family member’s name now, I think that negative thought. Some minds that have been damaged CAN’T let go of some things. So I did something I COULD do. I chose to remove contact with that person. You know when a family member makes jokes about your amnesia it’s a bit cruel. I’ve moved on from that, but I remember it. I chose to instead of being in contact with a relative I didn’t remember anyway and apparently didn’t have contact with for almost 20 years to focus on people that care about me now.

The mind, the heart, the body, all of you cannot heal without a positive environment. That is something I have discovered this past year. You have a problem? You can’t move forward? Look around you and see why. Then make a choice. Either stay and stagnate or move  on and heal.

Choose to lose to Gain Image

You’ll notice a few links today. Those are links to articles I’ve written about my dealings with my Amnesia.

Much Respect

Ronovan

For a different take on Choose To Let Go visit Meanings and Musings article of the same name by clicking the link.

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My Sunday Thought: Be slow and Do it, Don’t Spew it.

Ronovan Writing , , , , , , , , ,

Yes, Cat-Man is continuing his dedication to his Sunday Theeowwts. If some of you are wondering “How I Became Cat-Man” simply check yesterday’s article. I assure you it is more painful than it sounds.

You know, people like to take a look at someone and make a judgement. I don’t know what your opinions of me have been since my profile photo reveal, and to be honest it wouldn’t matter in regards to if I kept writing or not. No intent to offend just assuring you I am good with my appearance accept with the side effects of the Lyrica I am taking due to my Fibromyalgia, but I have taken extreme action to counter act that.

Some look at me and see the red hair and think I must have a short fuse, that I blow my top at the drop of a hat. Actually I tend to stay quiet and carry on as normal and let things just go away.

I have to say that the letter of James in the Bible is one of my favorites. You know that might surprise some but I like my verses to be straight forward and in my face. I love Jesus but sometimes you have to admit those parables just make your head hurt. Some of them I love but some of them I just have to think about a bit. I get them, but still. But if given the choice, I would take every one of those words attributed to Jesus and just go by them and be happy.

The book of James is attributed to the half brother of Jesus. That’s right the actual real brother of the Son. You know that had to be a tough act to follow. “Why can’t you be perfect like Jesus?” “Jesus never called me a camel’s behind.”

James 1:21-22
21 Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you.
22 Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says.

Good one, right? Those are the two verses I received from my Bible verse generators. Now let me add in the verses before it.

19 My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, 20 because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. 21 Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you.
22 Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says.

Yes, I like to give the verses that the following verses are “There For”. Touch of humor there and play on words but it’s true. When you see “therefore” in the Bible it’s “there for” a reason so back up if you jump in at a “therefore” spot.

Are these not amazing verses. Someone all trying to be smart might say that while I was being slow to anger they would kick my bee hind. It doesn’t say do not be aware, do not be prepared, it is saying do not be stupid. For the “smart” person, to be quick to anger and to attack a quiet person is to be “stupid”. You try to kick my bee hind and you might get stung.

Yesterday I could have reacted with quick anger and hurled a cat many yards away from me or into a wall. But my mind raced through several things in the span of seconds. My habit of being slow to anger came in handy. A 70 year old grandmother was not destroyed by a frightened cat and a frightened, and normally sweet cat is now spade and will no longer be attacked by every male cat that comes by nor will her brothers, Spunky being one of them, be attacked for being a male cat in her presence and thus competition.

Quick to listen and slow to anger. Another verse associated with these is;

Proverbs 10:19

Sin is not ended by multiplying words,
    but the prudent hold their tongues.

And another;

Proverbs 17:28

Even fools are thought wise if they keep silent,
    and discerning if they hold their tongues.

You have probably been in that situation where you are listening to two people or even just one person talking about some strange subject and you are sitting there quietly and intently paying attention. Then you are asked if you agree or your opinion. You sit silently trying to come up with something to say while keeping a straight and thoughtful expression. The people involved quickly begin to think you are wise in seeing something such as the weaknesses in their arguments that they had hoped would escape notice. I am not wise, I am just good at the straight face and an expression that apparently conveys “are you seriously trying to tell me that load”.

How can you apply these verses to life?

How can you not? You can see events on the news that would have been avoided if one or both parties involved had practiced what these words say. Quick words only cause problems. And that is not just in the areas of anger. This can even be in the area of the heart. Take everything possible slowly to be sure what is really is what it is.

I often say during my Sunday Thoughts that it doesn’t matter if you are a Christian or not, you can gain something from the words and apply them to your life. And for those who are Christians, I have a saying I used to use when speaking to youth;

do_it_dont_spew_it.png

Ronovan

Romans 1:16

 

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How I became Cat-Man.

Ronovan Humor, Life , , , , , , ,

I tell you, sometimes I just wish I had stood in bed. I understand what that means and I am sure you can decipher it. There are just some Southern expressions even I am not quite sure of how they came about. I can pretty much figure out where some came from, because  lot of them make sense. Stood in bed? Not sure about that.

But as I am speaking this it’s late on Friday night. Yes, I said speaking. You see I have voice to text so I can still write when the hands are bad and well . . . let’s just say right now is one of those times.

Back before my accident I was a dog guy. Loved dogs, English Bulldogs especially for an obvious reason.

UGA VIII

But I grew up with Shelties. My parents and I had three through the years. One of the best dogs you can own. If you don’t click the link, think miniature Lassie/Collie. But for some reason they have  toy poodle now that is not so toy and very much poodle.  But my son ‘B’ is allergic to dogs so no more dogs and to be honest it is selfish to own a dog when you don’t have time to properly play with it and give it the attention it needs.

Gray cat with glow in the dark green eyes.

Then the accident, the fall in my home. Well one day I was looking out the window and saw a cute little creature, a cat. She was so tiny and adorable. I say she now because many of you have heard of Kitty and seen her. Kitty was at first named Alfred or Albert, I can’t quite remember, whatever comes in a can. I bit of humor that amused me. Well it became obvious that Albert was not an Albert. It became obvious when “Daddy” kitty showed up. He was not known as “Daddy” kitty at the time. He was known as “that” cat. Kitty was only allowed to stay because I loved her and she was the first thing that had made me venture outside and enjoy life. Oh those feminine wiles.

As you probably know, Kitty decided for some reason to have children.

Kitty And the Crew - CopyCautious in the back being, well cautious.

Fluffy (Dark coloring)

Spunky-The ever alert.

And of course Kitty who looks very much dazed here.

Yes they all earned their names.Spunky_loving_B

Kitty will no longer have children. As she is an outdoor cat, especially, that was taken care of. The idea was to give the kittens away. Suddenly ‘B’ became fond of Spunky. I must say if you met Spunky you would be fond of him too. Yes, that is Spunky loving on B’s foot. Spunky also comes when calls,  or whistled for and likes to play fetch. He also likes to walk to the mail box and back with you while winding through your feet. No, we have not seen any white dogs in the neighborhood.

The morning of what has come to be known as Cat Friday began normally except I slept a little later as I had no reason go arise and help get B going for school. The house was going to gather two cats to take to the vet to ensure no children in the future. I know, there are three, but remember, Cautious earned his name.

Apparently two adults cannot successfully wrangle two cats. Oh sure, anyone can pick Spunky up and put him in a carrier. The only thing is you must be able to handle the heartbreaking “Neoo neoo” sound. Yes, he sounds like he is saying “No, No” and you wish you could die then and there but you must push onward. Then it came time for Fluffy.

Fluffy Kitten CatFluffy is larger than this now. Gorgeous cat. Beautiful markings and these gold colored eyes. Looks all sweet and cuddly doesn’t she? After two adults returned from the vet after dropping off two cats the comment of choice was “If I could tape a $20 to her head for someone to take her I would.”

You see, Fluffy might should have been named Feisty, or perhaps Tiger, or Berserker. Yes, cuddly looking kitty is not so cuddly. However in recent weeks she has agreed to be petted. Epic failure occured and then that is when I arose from slumber.

It was now my turn to capture the Fluffinator 3000 Blender. I had not been told at this point she had already escaped and almost clawed one of the aforementioned adults. The plan was made and I patiently outlasted FluffBotKillRon Mark V. I scooped her up, and held her close. There success ended.

The idea was for the door to be opened and I allowed inside to place the beast precious kitty into the carrier. They know what a carrier is so it could not be outside. I say “Open the door”. I hear “B, get out of the way.” At that moment I knew trouble was afoot. I had only seconds from capture to carrier before cuckoo  occurred. Those seconds had passed. The screen door opened and in a I went.

So near yet so far. The claws engaged. The squirming commenced. Assistance? Epic Fail!

The adult assisting and that had said  thew words “B, get out of the way” belong to a soon to be 70 year old 5 foot tall woman known as Grandma. After all once you have a child, no one has a proper name any longer. Grandma is the one that helps drive me places and the like and watches me during the day and we are staying with her since my accident.

As she proceeded to lock the back screen door and then close the door, yes I did say what you think you read, Fluffykins becomes FluffyInsanity. I was going to say Fluffynuts but I didn’t think that sounded right for some reason. As soon as the outdoors disappeared that was the beginning of the end of what should have been a pleasant morning and day.

Before I describe the end, I will simply say people will ask why I did not release the beast. Well, if I had the beast would have sprang onto Grandma’s head and face. Grandma has Lupus and perhaps Fibromyalgia as well, among her other problems. Yes, my mind works like that and as well as it is my fault Kitty is there and thus the kittens are there and that if I let her go and she somehow got out of the house we would never catch her again. Yes, I really did think of all of that in the seconds of the fight that occurred.

I won the battle and the war. I won it for love these cats and my son’s fondness for them. I was close to 100% anti cat before my accident. Then I fell in love with Kitty.

Right arm:

Scratches from the elbow down and possible bites. Too many to tell which are which. Back of hand looks like fang marks could be claws but considering the pain I think it’s a bite. Fingers scratched up and bitten.

Left arm:mummy

One scratch on actual arm, index finger bitten in several places. Thumb, the base of the nail is cracked and the underside of the thumb where the bottom tooth tried to meet the top tooth is extremely swollen and red and I must admit painful.

Chest:

Scratches

Face:

Scratches and bite marks including a bite on the bottom lip.

Why did I not let her go?

What she did to me could have been done to a 70 year old woman with immune problems. All I did was hold on and pull Fluffy back as she almost escaped and leaped on Grandma. As she bit my lip I closed my eyes in the hopes they would not get clawed. As she was biting down on my thumb assistance, Grandma, finally made it to the carrier and I was able to put Fluffy in.

Needless to say that B saw it happen. He saw the blood on my face and arms and hands. He has been worried all day.

Two cats will be picked up tomorrow, one will hide for I don’t know how long or will disappear until hungry. All I care is that she is now taken care of and wont’ contribute to the population and won’t have to fend off the cats that have been coming around.

Spunky will walk out of his carrier and head to the back door for a treat. Yes, he has been to the vet a couple of times before. He just doesn’t like the trip, but loves the attention he gets there because he is so pretty and loves on everyone that will touch him.

What would I do differently? Things happen. B was curious. Grandma is old and has a habit with the back door. Fluffy was defending herself. Why am I not at the hospital? Fluffy would be put down if I went.

So what would I do differently? Have had someone taping the whole thing. I really would like to see what it looked like as Fluffy bit my lip. You know men always want that woman to get all frisky and attack them and kiss them and bite that lip. Men, let me tell you, go to your own version of the vet and get yourself taken care of so you don’t want that kind of loving any longer. Trust me, it’s not as all that as you think.

Articles may be slow in coming for the next week or so, but I will try to keep up my pace. You know me, I find a way. Where there’s a pill, there’s a way. A little medication joke there. (Yes, next time the furry bag of bones is getting a dose of something in her cat food, yes she is, the adorable little thing.)

Meowch Respect

Cat Man Ronovan

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People Hate Me

Ronovan Life , , , , ,

Did you know people hate me?

Sounds impossible I know but they do. I am an odd person. I have strange ailments. Today let’s talk about Amnesia. Mine is persisting in much of the areas of my life.

First of all I don’t want people to think this is a pity article. I’m fine. When I say I am fine, I really mean it. I am merely sharing this for people to understand why things happen in my life the way they do and perhaps they have experiences with someone and this might help explain it. So really, I handle this all the time, every day, so no worries, Okay?

For those of you not aware, I fell in my home and received a concussion which caused Retrograde Amnesia, meaning memories before the accident as well as Short Term Amnesia, meaning I have problems retaining current information. Now you know why I write so much. Think of this Blog as my notes on life and even my poetry can tell me where and what I was at during a given day.

The Short Term Memory Loss is the issue here. Mine tends to be when I sleep, or am absent from something too long. My mind also apparently uses it as a defense against reminders of bad situations.

I recent times my Chronic Fatigue has been flaring up in a big way resulting in a lot of sleep, not good for the memory. I’ve forgotten people. I’ve forgotten friends.

Why do people hate me?

I forget them. That’s bad. I know it. But then there is something in my mind that says run. There is an element of fear there. Did you know a big guy like me fears something like forgetting people and their hating him? Yeah, it happens. I have a lot of issues in life to deal with, one is my son. Can you imagine being 10 and having a father who has Amnesia, Fibromyalgia, Osteoarthritis, Chronic Fatigue, Light and Sound Sensitivity and isn’t allowed to drive yet?

My son worries about me every day. He checks on me all the time. He doesn’t know that I notice but I do. I see him looking in my room to make sure I am okay. Yeah, my son has to be the kid with the weirdo dad. I try to act as normal as can be around him but there are limitations.

Then I have people that hate me.

My number of waking hours each day have dwindled. My writing here has dwindled, my writing on LitWorldInterviews has dwindled recently. I did NaNoWriMo but i felt obligated after agreeing to it and that’s where the most of the waking hours went. My mind operates differently than most I suppose.

So for those hate me . . .

Okay. once I get all those other problems under control, maybe I cam make it so people won’t hate me as much. For now, I am just trying to stay awake long enough to see my son at night and trying to get up in the mornings to see him off to school.

Much Respect

Ronovan

Ron_LWI

 

 

PS-I would have mentioned the 24/7 Migraines I have but I thought that was over kill.

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I’m So Glad To Find

Ronovan Poetry , , , , , , , ,

You make the best of me, from what I used to be

Carrying me though, to a life that is brand new

I don’t want to see, the man that I used to be

Forever in your arms, protected from all harms

Say you’ll never go, that our love is even more than we know

Do you think you will find, another love like ours in all mankind

Take the rest of me, and set me free

I can shine through, because of the love of me by you

Baby you’re the key, to what I am meant to be

Stay here by my side, our worlds meant to collide

Say you’ll never go, that our live is even more than we know

Do you think you will find, another love like ours in all mankind

One step closer to the fall, reach out and save me, make that call

Inside a moment of the last, you make up for my lost past

If I never thought again, all I would need is the touch of your hand

Say you’ll never go

Because our love is more than you know

Say you’ll never go

I’m so glad to find

That I can call

You

Mine

Romantic Silhouette Tizard Images

 

 

 

 

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The Best I Ever Had

Ronovan Life, Videos/Music , , , , , , ,

I love a song. A beautiful song. It’s a remake of a Vertical Horizon song called  Best I Ever Had. The remake or cover is by country artist Gary Allan. As with any song the lyrics can take on the meaning you give to them. I often focus on the title words Best I Ever Had. But the song is a painful song, and perhaps that is why I connect to it. I hear the loss in Gary Allan’s voice, the pain, the sincerity that only he could give to this song.

Gary Allan went downstairs to get his wife a Coke that she asked for because she said she felt sick. Minutes later he heard a pop. He returned to the bedroom to find she had removed a gun from his gun safe under the bed and committed suicide. I prefer not to go into the details.

It took Allan some time to get to a place where he could really deal with it all and this was the song he recorded. Some looked at it in the beginning as some strange change in his style and had issues with it. I did not even know who he was but the song hit me.

Best I Ever Had can be given to so many different things. The obvious being love.

As I was finding a song to share today and came across this many old things came to mind. One in particular was the day I dropped the family off after church. It was the worst time of my adult life and the sermon that day hit me. I drove. I had no idea of what was to happen, but I needed to get away and be alone. I had not had time alone to deal with a situation that had occurred, a  life changing situation.

The happy face

Had to be in place

An no one was the wiser

I went driving. I said I went to a local park but it was closed for that time of the year. I just drove. Finding an empty parking lot I stopped and sat there. I didn’t break down and release it all. Thoughts came to mind of failure, disappointment and how things would be better and solved if I just came up with the final solution. But then the little face came to mind.

When I was in the hospital this past year after a fall in my home, I remembered a little face. A little face that led me through all the strangeness and confusion. Small faces help so often to keep us in reality and force our selfishness away.

I still have those moments every day of failure. I have forgiven myself for the life changing situation but I have also given the message to never let me drive off alone when remotely depressed. I have a grasp on reality for now, I know it, I am okay with it, and thus I am fine.

This song as I’ve learned of its meaning for Gary Allan adds to the beauty of it. In this song Allan gives the Best HE Ever Had in a vocal performance. For me this song means every possible meaning, even in a way a happy meaning. Yes, you can give it that if you look at it  that way, as that was my original intent in sharing it.

I don’t want people to think there is anything wrong or that I am looking for attention, I am simply sharing a story of my life with you. Hoping that part of me helps a part of someone that might be reading.

 

So you sailed away into a grey sky morning
Now I’m here to stay, love can be so boring
And nothing’s quite the same now
I just say your name now

But it’s not so bad
You’re only the best I ever had
You don’t want me back
You’re just the best I ever had

So you stole my world, now I’m just a phony
Remembering the girl leaves me down and lonely
We’ll send it in a letter
Make yourself feel better

But it’s not so bad
You’re only the best I ever had
You don’t want me back
You’re just the best I ever had

And it might take some time to patch me up inside
But I can’t take it so I, I run away and hide
And I might find in time that you were always right
You’re always right

So you sailed away into a grey sky morning
Now, I’m here to stay, love can be so boring
Was it what you wanted?
Could it be I’m haunted?

But it’s not so bad
You’re only the best I ever had
You don’t want me back
You’re just the best I ever had
You’re just the best I ever had

Much Respect

Ronovan

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In times of trouble, just Let it Be.

Ronovan Writing , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

It’s been some times since I did what a song means to me and I miss those days.

Songs that make you pause, bring hope, peace, melancholy. Some look at melancholy as a completely bad thing, but often times it’s the only time you have to experience peace and reflective moments.  No, don’t get me wrong, this is not to say I am in a state of melancholy. I am simply giving possible emotions a song may bring.

I had another song in mind when while glancing through the extensive list I happened to glimpse Let it Be, written and sung by Paul McCartney with the Beatles.

Paul has said in interviews when asked the meaning of the lyrics, if they have Biblical meanings, that those who listen are to take from it what they like. Much like we here in our poetry communities say. In other words, he wrote the song for himself as he needed to after a dream about his departed mother and as for the definition of lyrics he will simply . . . Let it Be.

For me the song was once a beautifully simple song.,back in my pre-Christian days of not knowing of the Let it Be reference to May and her response to the angel Gabriel about her pregnancy, only one interpretation of the lyrics.

For me now, Let it Be does bring a sense of peace as I deal with with my Chronic pain, Chronic Fatigue, Osteoarthritis, and Amnesia. I am given more medications than I have ever even looked at in my life, I am certain, well almost certain. A bit of amnesiac humor only I can poke at myself with, thank you very much. I lose things daily and gain some only to be lost again.

I lose the memory of friends from Blog World that I have the feeling are of some significance but things don’t click. One day there, and a hard nights sleep or battle with a flare up and they are gone. Fibromyalgia combined with Concussion has brought about some unusual results.

I write, I blog, I live, I love children, I love inspiration, and for all that I cannot control I simply . . . Let it Be.

For trivia minded:

Paul wrote the song after a dream of his mother, Mary who had died of cancer when he was 14, during the time around the recording of The Beatles (The White Album).

The song became the title of the album that was released after McCartney’s announcement of his leaving The Beatles.

There are numerous versions of the song recorded by the Beatles for films, singles, album, and anthologies.

Wikiepedia notes that Kris Allen, Aretha Franklin, Brooke White, Katie Stevens, Boney M., Joan Baez, George Michael, Willie Nelson, Pearl Jam, David Bowie, Fiona Apple, Billy Ocean, Elvis Presley, Diana Ross, Status Quo, Seether, Stereophonics, Rod Stewart, Jennifer Hudson, B5, and Widespread Panic among others have covered the song. This being an eclectic sampling of how popular the song is.

I personally think it odd that the title track of the album is Let it Be and the band has broken up. I believe perhaps it was a message to the fans saying just Let it Be.

What does the song mean to you or what feeling does it bring? Jenna Willett of Jen’s Pen Den does a regular weekly post about music that inspires her during writing, what mood would this inspire for you?

When I find myself in times of trouble, Mother Mary comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be
And in my hour of darkness she is standing right in front of me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be
Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be

And when the broken hearted people living in the world agree
There will be an answer, let it be
For though they may be parted, there is still a chance that they will see
There will be an answer, let it be
Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be
There will be an answer, let it be
Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be
Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be

And when the night is cloudy there is still a light that shines on me
Shine until tomorrow, let it be
I wake up to the sound of music, Mother Mary comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be
Let it be, let it be, let it be, yeah, let it be
There will be an answer, let it be
Let it be, let it be, let it be, yeah, let it be
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be

Much Respect

Ronovan

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Non Accidental Events Lead to Intentional Good-True Story

Ronovan ML Auto Bio, Writing 101-Blogging University , , , , , , , , , ,

Non Accidental Events Lead to Intentional Good

by: Ronovan

Sometimes you just don’t know how you ended up where you are. I’ve been in many ‘places’ over my many years and somehow they end up being connected in one way or the other. Oh, I don’t mean by actually connected in the sense that one thing knew the other but in that there was a reason one happened and ended and the next began.

Light at the end of the tunnelI had an interesting life growing up. I was born of two people who were picking oranges in the groves of Florida during a time of free love, or maybe at the end of that era really. My father from Tupelo, MS. who was a drummer, guitar playing singer who drove a truck and recorded at Sun Records in Memphis, TN. Yes that Sun Records, and yes, that’s where Elvis recorded. And no, he wasn’t Elvis.

He was also part of the Southern Mafia which led me into a few interesting situations. Ever been 3 years old and been chased down dirt roads in Florida by a man with a gun? No? I didn’t think you had. How about being back home in Tupelo, MS and having to be slung around in a truck doing a 180 because of some ‘men’ that had blocked the road to stop your father? No? Well then you didn’t get shot at and the windows shatter either.

There were other things that happened as well, all in the span of the years up to my 2nd grade in school. That’s when I ‘arranged’ for a girl on the playground to see the black belt mark across my back and run to the teacher. I had made a promise not to tell, and I was a good boy and kept my promises. I didn’t ‘tell’ anyone. After the police and social workers finished with me that day I never saw my bio father again. He and my mother were divorced anyway, so no great loss.

But through that and a series of not accidental events, because I know that all things are used for the good of life, I ended up in a situation where I worked with young people and helped many with home lives that were rough. Even the arrangement of time to work with them was an obvious non accidental event.

Even today, being here in the blog world and meeting new people, encouraging and being encouraged has been another non accidental event out of a life changing event. Good comes out of everything, no matter how bad it is, it only remains a negative influence on me/you if you let it be such.

 

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Humble before a Fall-A Poem

Ronovan Life, Poetry , , , , , ,

Be humble in your ways every day
Boasting and bragging are arrogance
You may not know the path you take
But pride in ways has no relevance

Do what you do with a knowledge of grace
For you were given talents before you were born
Their recognition and nurturing up
Are rarities in this world where a crown is made of thorn

Continue in this way and your life will reveal
You are more than even you can believe
As you throw off those stresses and pressures
And hold onto that which will relieve

Be humble my friends
Be thankful for your gift
For as sure as you become arrogant
You and they will be broken by a rift

I was prideful in my former years. I made note of what happened in my life. I made a prideful statement and not long after, my world turned upside down. No, I do not think a punishment was sent down to give me a lesson. What I do think happens is in our pride and arrogance perhaps we do foolish things that bring about the humbling of us. I advise all today not to wait for those humbling moments, humble yourself now.

 

Much Respect

Ronovan

Ron_LWI

 

 

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Appreciate being late . . . A Poem.

Ronovan Poetry , , , , , ,

For those who are late,

Take heart in knowing your way,

Some never arrive.

 

Much Respect

Ronovan

Ron_LWI

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You are Worthy.

Ronovan Opinion Articles , , , , , ,

Ah, Spring is in the air . . . in Australia.

But I’m not in Australia. I’m in coldland. Notice I did not say Iceland, which is green nor Greenland which is ice. Yeah, I know, we all know the reason for the names. And they said my ancestors weren’t very bright. Hey, two sets of my ancestors found America before Columbus went island hopping and missed the big land mass to the west of his island disease spreading sexscapade. I’m good with it.

Today I thought I would discuss a little bit about self worth. You know, for a man who is basically unemployed and virtually disabled, I’m a busy thinking man. No, I can’t work hours and hours straight like a lot of people, but I get some things done as I can with writing. And perhaps none of it is pay worthy, but you know what? I don’t care.

You see we have worth. Some people are told they are not worth anything. Abusive spouses say it to their wives or husbands and abusive parents say it to their children. I have had to be held back from saying things in stores or quickly moved along because of something I have said for peoples fear I may have been over heard when I objected to certain words used toward children.

You know, when you’re a big man, you get away with saying things. When you’re a big man with a concussion and no impulse control over what you say, you can say anything and get away with it and back it up. No, I am not a violent man. I’ve never had to be. Look at me. I can get this really menacing look on my face. But I am actually harmless, just don’t tell anyone.

Some of you reading this know what I am talking about today. You’ve experienced it. You’ve been on the end of the abusive ‘you’re not worth a pile of…’ lecture. That can even be from an employer.

Every life has worth. I could go into my Bible and say that if God thought we were so worth arriving here as Jesus to live out a life susceptible to pain and hardships just like us and then die for our sins, then I will believe I am worth something and agree with God, but I’m not going to go into my Bible thing right now and say all of that. No siree uh uh.

I had an early life where if I had not been able to be taken out of it, I would have possibly been led down a life of believing I was not worthy of a good life. Abuse of various kinds early on, divorced parents, poverty, go on and on. But you know I didn’t know any of that until I was an adult. No one told me as a child I was not worthy, and no one has told me as an adult either.

Trolls can come out now and say what they like, I have my earplugs in due to my sound sensitivity so I won’t hear you. And I will just delete your comments if you have an issue with it. Yeah, Ron O Van don’t play that.

I want everyone to read this next series of sentences placing the emphasis on the all capitalized word each time.

I am worthy of good things.

i AM worthy of good things.

i am WORTHY of good things.

i am worthy OF good things.

i am worthy of GOOD things.

i am worthy of good THINGS.

Whenever you are going through a rough time, repeat that. No, it’s not a secret healing thing but it will remind you of something. I don’t think I need to tell you what that is at this point.

I go through this myself several times each day as I look at my situation and what it has caused, the troubles, the hardships. I know I am not really the cause of these things, but you can’t help feeling it sometimes. So you just have to remind yourself at times.

Positive thinking is not some mantra, guru thing. It’s a real thing. You have a defeatist attitude then you have a defeatist life.  No matter what you have planned for your life, be positive about it.

You can even believe it’s Spring when it’s really Autumn because it actually is somewhere in the world. But still take a jacket with you when you go out, because it gets a bit chilly, even in Spring.

 

Much Respect

Ron_LWI

 

 

 

 

Ronovan

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Eloquence ain’t my forte.

Ronovan Poetry , , , ,

Eloquence ain’t my forte.

Although I never seem to lack for something to say.

Be it some advice or something less nice,

I will continue on until I think my words suffice.

 

Look at these lines, how they seem intentionally designed.

But if truth be told, they are falling out of my head on their own.

Is there a rhyme or reason or anything to do with the season?

If that were the case then I believe my brain has lost the chase.

 

Now look to your left and then to your right.

If you did that and you’re alone, I imagine you are quite a sight.

Yes there is randomness in my offering today.

But as I’ve said before, just say what you would like to say.

 

This rhyming is not all that problematical.

In fact I find it rather interestingly grammatical.

It’s not about love or any of my usual fare.

Even I have my moments where the meanies make me not care.

 

Oh those meanies, blue, red or green.

All we need is love from four chaps in a yellow submarine.

Singing some songs to push our way through it.

I am sure if they had burped Suwanee River it would have been a hit.

 

Isn’t that fun, just writing where the words take me?

Who knew the Fab Four would be used so poetically?

Now I will end this before I get into trouble.

You know me, I am bound to burst someone’s bubble.

 

Much Regards and I give you Much Lovin’

From your poet The Writer known as Ronovan

ron_full_river - cropped

 

 

 

 

Up and over are the buttons to follow me in various places. If not, I hope you wander this way again.

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The Good, The Bad and The Ugly… of being Attractive

Ronovan Opinion Articles , , , , , , , , , , ,

This is my Collaboration

with

Amanda of insidethelifeofmoi.

Insidethelifeofmoi_Amanda_Lyle_Copyright.jpg

We worked on this for quite a bit so please go and check it out.

Don’t let the word count fool you, it’s a quicker read than you think.

Much Respect
Ronovan

Destroying a life-From Sian Pfudor (the prompt girl)

Ronovan Poetry , , , , ,

From Sian Pfudor

(The Prompt Girl)

Destroying a lifeskull

It creates too much despair

I watch from the cell.

 

 

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New around here

Ronovan Poetry , , , , , , ,

Here’s my first blog writing on The Obscure Dreamer site.
Much Respect
Ronovan

A Friend is a Smile.

Ronovan Blogging , , , , , , , , , ,

Everyone, please visit my very first ever Guest Blog. Amanda of insidethelifeofmoi was kind enough to let me share something from my heart. Please go and check it out and follow her blog if you are not already doing so. She is very engaging with those who comment and is a very sweet young lady.
Much Respect,
Ronovan

Odd One Out

Ronovan Poetry , , , , , , ,

Never the one chosenBlossom on tree

Never the one choice

Never the one chased

Never the one charmed

 

Ever the one alone

Ever the one afar

Ever the one aware

Ever the one alarmed

 

The one hurting

The one heaving

The one haunting

The one howling

 

Battered

Broken

Bound

Bent

 

Rising

Reveling

Realizing

Reinventing

 

Now the one embraced

Now the one enthroned

Now the one empowered

Now the one elegantly…alone and okay

 

Inspired by several offerings I’ve read today about things not owed and being that odd girl out. One a more detailed piece and the other a photograph. I think all people at some point and many creative people especially can relate to those two offerings.

 

bloglovin

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Waves of Uninvited Sensation

Ronovan Poetry , , , , , ,

Waves of icy fingers spread

Grasping for a hold

Slipping across the surface

Gone but returning twice cold

Waves flow undetected

Toward opalescent spheres

Through lightning flashes meander

And hysterical maniacal tears

Grasping with deflective talons

Not making the slightest defense

Staring into the nothingness

Losing all time and all sense

Waves of icy fingers spread

Spreading over the rippled mass

Holding onto the silent monsters

Shattering the quivering like warped glass

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Female Feature Friday: 10 Quotes of Anaïs Nin

Ronovan Life , , , , , , , , , ,

Writing a blog allows for you to stumble upon things you have never experienced or perhaps have forgotten you once knew. I ran across a quote a time ago that spoke to people and they commented on the author of the quote. Since then I have read some other quotes and this had lead me to list a few of my shorter favorites today.

10 Quotes of Anaïs Nin

anais_nin.jpg

1

“We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.”
― Anaïs Nin

My Thoughts: We interpret things based on our own experiences and thus preconceived ideas instead basing them on what they are as intended/

2

“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage.”
― Anaïs Nin

My Thoughts: If you aren’t brave enough to take steps then you stay where you are in your own little space of the world, especially in love, as I see life and love as greatly connected.

3

“I am only responsible for my own heart, you offered yours up for the smashing my darling. Only a fool would give out such a vital organ”
― Anaïs Nin

My Thoughts: A little cold for me. I am out for everyone’s heart but I see the meaning as a defense to protect one’s own heart, seemingly at all costs.

4

“From the backstabbing co-worker to the meddling sister-in-law, you are in charge of how you react to the people and events in your life. You can either give negativity power over your life or you can choose happiness instead. Take control and choose to focus on what is important in your life. Those who cannot live fully often become destroyers of life.”
― Anaïs Nin

My Thoughts: This goes along with a couple of articles I wrote about not letting others control you. You are ultimately responsible for those things that are within your decision/choice making area.

5

“Anxiety is love’s greatest killer. It makes others feel as you might when a drowning man holds on to you. You want to save him, but you know he will strangle you with his panic.”
― Anaïs Nin

My Thoughts: When one is having problems in a relationship then all are having a problem. Seeing it happening is like that panicked swimmer that you know is going to grab you and push you under without even realizing it, even though you are trying to save them.

6

“People living deeply have no fear of death.”
― Anaïs Nin

My Thoughts: Those who live happily are not afraid of what they have not yet done and would miss out upon.

7

“Do not seek the because – in love there is no because, no reason, no explanation, no solutions.”
― Anaïs Nin, Henry And June

My Thoughts: Perhaps a bit of disagreement in that this does not apply to all, but I can see that love is not always explainable. Sometimes you just have to let it be.

8

“There are two ways to reach me: by way of kisses or by way of the imagination. But there is a hierarchy: the kisses alone don’t work.”
― Anaïs Nin, Henry And June

My Thoughts: Oddly this is a belief of my own. Kisses with out the imagination behind them, for me intelligence, is not going to do it in regards to love.

9

“The secret of joy is the mastery of pain.”
― Anaïs Nin

My Thoughts: We all go through pain. Here I do not believe is a reference to actual physical pain but instead to teh pain of the heart in relation  to love. Yet, having mastery over both pains makes life more joyful.

10

“We are like sculptors, constantly carving out of others the image we long for, need, love or desire, often against reality, against their benefit, and always, in the end, a disappointment, because it does not fit them.”
― Anaïs Nin

My Thoughts: Some of us want love so badly that we grab onto the first reasonable solution to loneliness and then try to turn that person into what we have dreamed  of. It doesn’t work.?

Which quote is your favorite and why?

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The Southern Gentleman: Definition of a lifestyle. Definition of a Philosophy.

Ronovan Southern Culture , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Many people have heard of it, but what is it? If searching for a definition you will find a varied selection of opinions, some even by those living in the South. There will be similarities of the obvious. I thought I would take a moment to give a few of my own thoughts seeing as how I characterize myself as a Southern Gentleman.

An obvious requirement would first for one to have been born in the southern United States. This excludes anything west of the state of Louisiana, that being the state where New Orleans is located. Being born in a southern state does not mean you are born as a Southern Gentleman nor does it guarantee you will become one, but there is a great chance that you will acquire many of the required characteristics simply by soaking up the atmosphere around you.

Being this is in part a definition of me, I will focus on those characteristics that seem to be to the fore front in myself or perhaps what I see as those aspects I strive to achieve. These characteristics include; Romanticism, Courtesy, Respect, Learning, and Awareness. Be aware that there is a difference between a Gentleman of the Old South Southern Gentleman and the New South.

Although some of the more genteel characteristics are shared between Old and New there are some of the more intellectual and philosophical ones that differ greatly. I will not dredge up the errors of the past in that I did not live in that age, although I experienced some of the hangover from it.

  • Romanticism: The Southern Gentleman is a romantic to the core. He looks upon God’s deliverance of woman as the pinnacle of all creation ever to occur in the universe. She was created as the only true companion of man and thus artfully designed to be admired in all ways by man. This includes not only form, but function and intellect as well. The Southern Gentleman sees the miracle in the shape of an eye and the elegance of hand. The heart of a Southern Gentleman is in a constant state of upheaval and turmoil in the awe inspiring majesty of the master artist.
  • Courtesy: The Southern Gentleman holds doors for ladies, the elderly, and man alike. It is not uncommon that once a door is held open for the Southern Gentleman to remain in position for several people that he doesn’t even know. He will also quicken his pace in order that a woman will not need open a door herself, even if he does not know her. This extends to stepping forward and bagging groceries for the elderly or the woman with a child. We take grocery carts from ladies, the elderly and the child laden once they are emptied at cars so the people will not have to make the trip themselves. A smile and a nod of polite greeting are nature even for those never met.
  • Respect: The Southern Gentleman respects the dignity of Human Life. Once not a prerequisite but now something of obviousness, the Southern Gentleman sees mankind as mankind, not kinds of man. The human race is the human race not races of humans. We recognize the greatness of the various and readily give open admiration for those warranted.
  • Learning: Intelligence, knowledge, and understanding are of great importance to the Southern Gentleman. Not only do the three lead to wisdom but also comprehension of the world and its various cultures. He is not one who is tolerant, no. The Southern Gentleman is one who understands and respects. Tolerance is a different word and gives one a sense of a lack of respect and understanding. “I tolerate you, but don’t like you.” The Southern Gentleman says, “I understand and respect you, and I love you as God’s creation and an intelligent being, but I may still not agree with you.”
  • Awareness: The Southern Gentleman is aware of the state of society and the feelings and emotions surrounding him. With a glance he will be able to deduce a problem. He is in tune with the mood of the moment. Even by listening or reading a choice of words he can determine what kind of day you have had and know how to go from there.
  • Empathy: Many of the characteristics would not serve one as a Southern Gentleman without the ability to feel for the person in moments of need and then respond as needed. He has a heart that is worn on his sleeve thinly veiled, but easily found.

 

Some may say that they match the characteristics but there is more to it than just that. There is that indescribable something that permeates a Southern Gentleman. Perhaps it is the easy way in which it all comes together. Or maybe it is just the slow southern accent that makes it all something special. The Southern Gentleman doesn’t rush the world. And the world knows not to rush the Southern Gentleman.

As you have read this, and now that it’s complete, you may have a better understanding of me. I was raised in the Magnolia state. And although I live in another Southern state now, known for Gone with the Wind, in truth Magnolia is about as Southern as you can be.

 

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