Inspiration & Motivation

Regrets are where they belong, in the past.

Ronovan #BeWoW, Inspiration & Motivation , , , , , , , , , , ,

“Those who enjoy their own emotionally bad health and who habitually fill their own minds with the rank poisons of suspicion, jealousy and hatred, as a rule take umbrage at those who refuse to do likewise, and they find a perverted relief in trying to denigrate them.”~Johannes Brahms

When you go through life you end up running across people who, for some reason, think you are a threat to them. It has nothing to do with you having done anything wrong. I’ve seen examples of a lot of what Brahms spoke of above.

I watch interviews with these old professional wrestlers I watched when I was a kid. I do so in part because they were part of a time when I lived with my grandmother, back around 6 or 7 and when we visited her later on as well. It’s amazing how jealousy turned people you thought of as good guys into such bitter old men.

You have those types in every type of profession and every walk of life.

“Always Do Your Best. Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.”~Miguel Angel Ruiz

Ruiz speaks the truth, right to the core of my thinking. Regrets are like a disease, a virus that spreads though your body. The more you feed it the more it will grow until it is all consuming. You abuse others for your regrets, your jealousy of those who did what you regret you didn’t do.

Regrets are easy to let go. Much like those memories of the first grade you can’t think of, regrets are in the past. I know, some regrets you have might be in your face every day.

“Regret is an odd emotion because it comes only upon reflection. Regret lacks immediacy, and so its power seldom influences events when it could do some good.”~William O Rourke

“Acceptance of what has happened is the first step to overcoming the consequences of any misfortune.”~William James

The above two quotes explain exactly what purpose regrets serve and how to move on from them or even avoid having them. The quote by William James goes along with something I said recently.

“Recognition of truths in your life is a big step toward a happier you. A bigger step is taking action upon that recognition.”~Me

We all have disappointments in our lives, those missed opportunities that we brought about by our own action or inaction. Nothing can be done about them now. Well, at least most of them can’t be changed. Looking forward is always the best thing to do, even if there are no regrets in your past.

For an article I wrote about a luncheon with a top executive and self-made woman with Coca-Cola visit “Do your best…or not at all…advice from success”.

Much Love, Success, and Respect

Ronovan

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Smiles are medicine and more.

Ronovan Inspiration & Motivation , , , , , , ,

How often do you hear the phrase “live life like it’s your last day on earth” as a motivational gimmick?

Um, yeah, that sure motivates me. Think I’ll go write that book I always wanted to, or go and get married and have a kid. People have different reasons for using that expression above but hopefully you’ll never read those words from me as a way to attempt to get you to do something.

Instead, I want you to live each day to be the best possible person you can be on that day of your life. Today, smile at people—it freaks them out. Here in the South we expect smiles. It’s a cultural thing. A “nod and a smile” is what I’ve called it in the past. No, we’re not flirting, we’re saying you’re good, we’re good, just don’t either of us mess it up. It doesn’t matter who you are, what you look like, or what economic level you are “a nod and a smile” is expected.

I imagine there are things like that all over the world. Maybe in some places a nod and a smile is the equivalent of “let’s throw down and kick some hind parts”. When you wake up each day do so with the plan to nod and smile to some people you meet. No, I’m not giving you a number of people. That’s self-help mumbo jumbo and although I like to help people, I avoid things like that as much as possible.

You can’t help but feel something good when you smile. There is something scientific about it. Smiling actually releases dopamine.

“Dopamine is a neurotransmitter that helps control the brain’s reward and pleasure centers. Dopamine also helps regulate movement and emotional responses, and it enables us not only to see rewards, but to take action to move toward them. Dopamine deficiency results in Parkinson’s Disease, and people with low dopamine activity may be more prone to addiction. The presence of a certain kind of dopamine receptor is also associated with sensation-seeking people, more commonly known as “risk takers.”~Psychology Today

Not only will you increase your social network and reputation as a nice person but you will be making yourself healthier as well. I watched a Ted Talk not like ago which stated one smile is like eating 1000 bars of chocolate. Give a smile a try right now, a big one and notice that feeling you get. There is a change. Crazy as it seems, smiles are medicine and more.

Much Love, Success, and Respect

Ronovan

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Be Honest for Yourself, NOT the World.

Ronovan Inspiration & Motivation , , , ,

Do you show the world the real you? Do you hide? Are you afraid of the real you? Are you ashamed of the real you? Why?

There is a lot that goes into being the real you. You ever think about who you are and then think about who you were born as?

You know that jerk that lives next door or maybe in your own house? Guess what, he/she didn’t start out that way. Jerks are made, not born. That means who you are now, is not who you were born as, it’s who you were made into. And if you were made into something then you can be made into something else.

My Honest Self

I don’t present my honest self to the world because I am concerned with the world’s opinion of me. I present my honest self because I care about my opinion of myself. The world’s opinion can be swayed by mood, a word misunderstood, a lie spoken about me, or any number of other things I am certain you may think of.

Being my honest self does not mean I am a rude, intolerant, jerk of a man about things I don’t agree with or believe in. If asked I will say I don’t agree with something if I don’t agree with it. I do not have to be rude about it. I wanted to make that clear as some people are that way when they consider that as being what a person can be honest and true with about. Please refer to what I spoke of at the beginning of the article.

Today I want to be honest about who I am. I am a positive man, which has taken time to bring to the forefront of who I am. I am a positive man who is currently at battle with negatives. We are all at battle with negatives, however in my case I believe I am facing some extreme negatives because I am putting forth a message of positivity in hopes people will be helped and in a small way, a small step at a time, the world will change.

This sounds like a grandiose idea. Where else does every change of the world begin but with an idea of some sort? There are a great many problems in the world that could be solved with people starting by being positive about their own lives. By doing this, they can then be positive about others and for others.

My Honest Future

I love writing fiction. I do it for young people I know. Usually they are written as presents because I cannot afford anything else. I have written some for adults as well. I have written novels and submitted them, to only end up rejected. Rejected rightfully so.

Over the years I have come to terms with my writing and have improved as I have done so. I have not given up on my fiction. I have great story ideas, it’s the execution of those ideas I am working on. And I realized recently that I don’t need to be in a hurry and put out something that is garbage.

However, there is a part of me that I have been denying although it is obvious and throughout my writing here on my site. I am a teacher. Above and beyond anything else, that is what I am. That is what I was born to be. How I teach is up to me. What I teach is up to me. I choose to teach through writing. What do I choose to teach?

I keep returning to things ultimately leading to positivity. Therefore, I am going to teach on positivity. I have been doing that quite a bit of late, and I hope some of you have benefited from it. Moving forward I will be doing it in a, hopefully, better way now that I have accepted what I am doing. Fiction is not gone from my life. I love history and there will be historical fiction related stories from me. Some I believe need to be abandoned in order for me to become focused on what needs to be.

recognition-action

That being said, there may be some changes here on Ronovan Writes, nothing drastic but perhaps a feel or a focus. I do hope you stick around to find out what happens as I explore a new path in this fork in the road I’ve arrived at. Poetry will remain, of course. Expression of feelings and thoughts through poetry is a way for one to deal with those feelings and thoughts in an artistic and useful form. Poetry is therapy. Much of my poetry, if not all of it, is therapy to me and it is honest and truthful.

Much Love, Success, and Respect

Ronovan

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Positivity: Increasing Your Positivity Percentage

Ronovan Inspiration & Motivation , , , ,

Last week I asked you to List the Negatives in Your Life under different headings:

  • External Negatives
  • Internal Negatives
  • Temporary Negatives
  • Constant Negatives

I Know of What I Speak

I want to go ahead and get something out of the way here. I am not writing about this from an outsider point of view. I’ve been through life events, young and old, that some would never want to go through. These events could make me into a Negative, bitter, angry man. If you’ve been reading my blog you probably realize I am not any of those things. Therefore, as I talk about things remember I have been there, I am there, and I am doing these things myself.

Negativity is a Perception

One of the first things I want to explain to you this week is how something impacting your thoughts about you and life is a perception. Yes, I know, bad is bad. I’ve been there. Perhaps you were physically abused as a child or worse. That being a Negative action is not in doubt, but how you ALLOW it to impact your life is now up to you. You can change your perception, your moving onward, about it.

One of the first articles I ever wrote here on the blog was called Don’t ALLOW people to control YOU. That was over a year ago. If you’ve read that article you might understand why I am going to say your External Negatives category list should be empty.

My definition of External Negatives is “negatives that are outside your control. Things you are not able to personally control your long term reactions to or veer away from being influenced by.”

However, if you mentally perceive the event or influence as an event, an occurrence, it then has no lasting influence on your mental and emotional life. The External Negatives are in actuality only Negative on your mental and emotional Positivity because you ALLOW them to be.

Ultimately it is about you determining how you will handle something, no matter how bad it may be to other aspects of your life.

An example might be a divorce. It’s possible for a lot of baggage to come out of a divorce and one piece of baggage might be not allowing you to trust someone enough to love them or get in a relationship with them.

The new person has done nothing to you. But what YOU have done is ALLOW an event, whatever the cause of the divorce, to keep you from loving again. Caution—yes. Total shut down—no. You can learn, teach, train yourself how to look at things as being events, passing moments in time.

An Increase in Your Positive Percentage Brings Success

Now, move all those External Negatives you may have to the Internal Negatives list. Why, because you have control over what they are to you. We all want to decrease the Negativity in our lives. Positivity leads to happiness and also to success. Success? Yes.

I am not talking about you becoming a millionaire. I am talking about relationship success, friendship success and your happiness success. If you are Positive, people then see an upbeat air about you which leads one to interpret you being happy and Positive.

You are successful if you’re Positive Percentage is high. You have overcome the perceptions of Negativity in your life. You are upbeat because you are confident. “I can do this.” “I got this.” No, those are not mantras. I’m not into those.

One Baby Step for Positivity is One Giant Step for Happiness

Regardless of what your Negatives are, you can overcome them. Remember, Negative is a perception, an opinion. However, ALLOWING it to be a Negative on you and your life? It’s a matter of time and attitude as to what it does to you.

You may have 20 things on your lists, but can you overcome all those Negatives at once and keep them away? Some of you just said or thought, “Yes I can.” Go for it if you like. For the rest of us who have been through up and down battles with so many things in our lives, we are going to do what it takes to be a success at life.

What we are going to do is not the typical increasing your Positives, but increase your Percentage of Positives. How do we do this? By ridding our lives of the Negatives. What will this do? The first and most obvious will be making for happier, more satisfied selves. That in turn will create environments of improvement, of Positivity. With numerous people doing this and spreading the idea, you then have people focusing on Positives and on taking ownership of their being Positive and not relying on others to give them opportunities for Positivity.

You might have read books, watched videos, or even attended seminars and workshops on how to handle Negativity. Many of these options attempt to have you basically ignore the negatives of life by using meditation or various stress relief techniques as a magic pill, which they are not intended to be.

I have started meditating, but not to rid myself of negatives. I see meditation and the various stress relief techniques as maintenance tools. Do not take this as a knock against any of the mentioned techniques. They all serve their purposes for their purposes. But when people try to say this or that is the key to a successful happiness life my alarms go off and I want to tell people who get pulled into it to wake up.

The only way to a successful happiness life is you taking an active role in getting there.

We are going to do something that makes people achieve goals. We’re going to take baby steps, not giant leaps that will skip over things we need to handle. We are not going to ignore our Negatives, we are going to face them head on and then flick them off like pieces of lint in the future.

What are we going to do?

So what do I want you to do? I want you to learn to deal with the Negatives in your life, those that have happened and those that will happen. The idea of you never having Negatives again is a bit insane. And I will not even remotely tell you differently. If you ever see a method who says that, walk on by.

But here is what you can do to make your life more Positive Percentage.

By learning to handle the Negatives you have, you will be able to immediately rid yourself of the future Negatives as they come in. You will recognize them as they arrive. You will even learn how to avoid certain situations that lead to Negatives.

As you’ve gone through and made your lists you have experienced the feelings attached to those moments again. You have recalled how and when they happened and with whom they happened. Remember all of that. If you have that type of feeling in the future stop and realize what is happening, then handle it.

Don’t look for Negatives to happen. We self-fulfill a great many things in our lives and Negativity is one of them. I have told many people, many young people, “Don’t worry about something, don’t stress about something, that hasn’t happened.”

Easy to say, right? It’s how I live. I am the calm in the storm. I am the one that sits for half hour to an hour or more while others vent about the world and then give them their chill pills to bring them back down to reality land. They blow things up to monster levels when in reality they are Smurf level.

Setting an Attainable Goal

Today you will pick one negative from your Internal Negatives to rid your life of. Look at all of those you’ve held onto and decide what you think would be the easiest to get rid of. Once this happens, work on thinking that Negative through and realizing what you have ALLOWED it to do to you. Then get rid of it. Think it through. Look at it as a problem like any other problem, because in reality it is just another problem. One for the next week. No pressures here to race. Once you have that one in hand, move to the next less easy one.

Why the easiest? You want to learn how to handle Negatives. As you learn to handle each one that you perceive as being a little more Negative you will build up experience and become a pro by the time you get to that big one. If you start out with the big one first and you fail you won’t try the others. Also if that big one involves a person, you want to be prepared and confident in yourself and your abilities to face that Negative.

There is no hurry. You were doing nothing with these Negatives before, but now you will be doing something.

Ultimately you might be asking yourself why do all of this. You’ve spent a long time avoiding these parts of your life. It’s time to face them, and take back control of your happiness. Do I have Negatives in my life? Oh yeah. But they wash over me and I am cool with it. I realize what they are. I realize they are often times attempts to bring me down.

While you work on your list keep an eye out for the next part of the series Creating a Positive Environment. This is going to be an incredibly difficult thing for some to do. Again, baby steps. I am not a giant leap kind of guy, even though I may be kind of tall. By taking smaller steps, I don’t pull a muscle and get hurt. The same goes for creating a better life.

The actual next article is Live in the Now, not in the Then. The article you are in, I felt after thinking on it a bit, is too long, thus I wrote something that is shorter and to the point for those who might prefer that if you didn’t quite get something out of this one.

Much Love, Success, and Respect

Ronovan

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It’s not about you. Or maybe it is…in a way. #Kindness

Ronovan Inspiration & Motivation , , , , , ,

Letting Go so you can Go On.

Ronovan Inspiration & Motivation, Thoughts , , , , , , , , ,

Themes. I guess you could say my writing of late has a theme to it and today will be no different. A few months ago I made a conscious decision to begin writing about positivity. Oddly enough it turns out I have been writing about that since my blog began, I just didn’t realize it because of all the somewhat angst riddled poetry I was writing back then.

Yes, I can do angst well.

Six months ago I wrote an article titled Choose to Let Go. The article spoke somewhat about my amnesia and how I look at it and move on in spite of it. As I was thinking of this article for today that article came to mind and I realized how themes seem to come back around. Cyclical is what people call something like that.

I write about these things because I continue to see these things and they are everyday obstacles in my path. The difference in them being cyclical or not is how you handle them.

Cyclical means you haven’t discovered how to deal with something. I am not speaking of how every year the tornadoes come through the south here in the US. I am talking about those things you can control. Although if you don’t want to keep running for cover every year because a tornado coming . . . move.

One thing that comes up all the time for all of us is people slighting us or hurting us in some way. Hurt can mean hurt feelings, made fun of us, forgot about us in some way or anything that impacts us emotionally in a negative manner.

I was watching some interviews of professional wrestlers-I don’t actually watch matches, I watch the real person interviews about their careers, the not fake stuff part of the world, I know, I’m weird. Anyway, I noticed how so many people hate this one wrestler because of how he used to be. Since that time and for the past 13 years he has been a born again Christian and very devoted.

These people he slighted in the past, or who felt they were slighted because his career rose as theirs fell, refuse to believe who he is now, that he has changed. They want to hold on to that, well, truly childish and horrible acting person he once was. I mean he really was bad.

You can look at these people and see this hate and bitterness eating away at them. It’s in every part of them from the way they look at the camera to the way they talk and from the way the walk to the way they act in the ring. I know most of pro wrestling is scripted but the wrestlers have to act and by allowing the bitterness to remain they can’t be anything but these mean guys called heels. Even when they are good guys, baby faces, they are still not quite fully there. Then the success doesn’t come and they hate that guy who was a success even more.

So that was one example, another is as I was reading some sports clips online one was about a pro pitcher in baseball who looked at a fan calling to him. The guy blew the pitcher a kiss. The pitcher did a ‘say what’ type of face, turned around, but then turned back quick, caught the kiss and then tossed it onto the field. It was an obvious joke. Yet the writer made it out to be something bad.

That led me to wonder who spends their time, their days, looking for something they can put a negative spin on? Who makes a career of this?

People filling their lives with negativity all the time.

I was looking for that perfect verse to share today about forgiveness. There are so many in the Bible. To paraphrase a saying “if something has to be mentioned so many times there is a reason for it.” I came across a short one.

“And forgive us our debts,
    as we also have forgiven our debtors.“-Matthew 6:12

When I came to that verse I sat and thought for a while. That wrestler can’t make people forgive him for what he once was. But he has forgiven all those who did the same to him through the years and asked God to forgive him. His life is in a good place with a ranch, a wife, and two great kids. He’s retired from wrestling and considered a legend and perhaps one of the Top 10 wrestling entertainers ever, but he doesn’t focus on the wrestling part of his world.

He’s a dad and husband who helps home school his kids. I mean they are on a ranch in the middle of nowhere. Those who hate him are in nowhereville wrestling for noname wrestling.

I’m not saying forgiving others will bring you great things, but it will bring you great feelings. Once you let go of all of that baggage you grow taller. You grow taller in the eyes of those around you as they see something change in you. Just think about it. If you go around brooding and angry all the time, to me that means you are filled with hate and doubt and are frustrated. If you go around as though things don’t bother you, you then appear confident and people are drawn to you. People then want to be around you and work with you.

Forgive people things. Seriously. What can you do by holding onto something that can’t be changed, something that happened years ago? Let it go. You don’t even realize what those little things have done to you over the years and what they have turned you into.

Much Love, Much Success, and Much Respect to You All,

Ronovan

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Listing the Negatives in Your Life.

Ronovan Inspiration & Motivation , , , , , ,

I am going to ask you to make lists today. Not lists to share with anyone. These lists are to be made of negatives of your life. I want you to give the lists the following headings:

  • External Negatives: These are negatives that are outside your control. Things you are not able to personally control your long term reactions to or veer away from being influenced by.
  • Internal Negatives: These are negatives you are in control of. Things you personally can control your reactions to, your thoughts about, and being influenced by.
  • Temporary Negatives: These are negatives you see as one time events.
  • Constant Negatives: These are those things that seem to be always there to cause you stress and bring you down.

I would give you examples but these are Your Negatives and Your Thoughts of which list they fall under.

Don’t do anything with these lists yet. Simply take the next week to, take your  time, and think about filling out the lists. It’s okay to move one thing from list A to list B during that time as your thoughts become accustomed to what is what in your life.

I am sure you have had people tell you to make lists of the positives in your life, but I have another idea. Next week you will find out what it is and it will make so much sense. And no, fire will not be involved in regards to the lists.

Join me next week in an article tentatively titled Positivity: Increasing your Positivity Percentage.

One helpful article I wrote a while back might be beneficial. Don’t ALLOW people to control YOU. It speaks of the advice I received from an executive with Coca-Cola and self-made woman.

making-list

Much Love, Success, and Respect to All

Ronovan

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Don’t ALLOW people to control YOU.

Ronovan Inspiration & Motivation , , , , , ,

Check this article I wrote back in May of last year. It was one of the most popular at the time and considering the few followers I had then, it has a good number of likes. It will come in handy to have read as the weeks pass here on the blog with some things I have planned.

Ronovan's avatarronovanwrites

Don’t ALLOW people to control YOU.

by: Ronovan

 

Why are you not a success? You know why, because everyone is right about you. You give up every time.

Sounds a bit harsh doesn’t it? It does when put like I just did. But that’s the way we are told or the way we think it.

I wrote recently about Female Executivea lady executive from Coca Cola that I heard at a business luncheon. In that article I wrote about doing your best at whatever you are doing at a given time. Well I mentioned she gave two pieces of advice that day. I actually typed those pieces of advice up and saved them on my computer. What? You think I remember all this stuff?

As important as doing your best always is, controlling you is even more so. What do I mean by controlling you?

You LET others cause YOU to…

View original post 526 more words

The Power of Negative Thinking by @drtcp

Ronovan Inspiration & Motivation , , , , ,

I found this TED Talk, oddly a short one,  as I was looking for talks on positivity. It’s about the Power of Negative Thinking by Dr. Tomas Chamorro-Premuzic, a self professed dr.thomasrecovering Argentine psychologist who is a Professor of Business Psychology at University College London as well as being an author. See his books on Amazon here. It has humor but also information I am wondering what you think about. Give your thoughts in the comments below or on the the Youtube channel itself for him to see your interest. You don’t have to but if you would like to share, go for it. Listen closely.

 

The image is from Hogan Assessments of which the good doctor is the CEO. By clicking the image you will go to their site and read more information about the TED Talk and how it relates to the recent release of a book.

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Your Ordinary is My Extraordinary. #BeWoW

Ronovan #BeWoW, Inspiration & Motivation , , , , ,

Ordinary and extraordinary, two words with different meanings and words that kind of confuse me at times. I see a lot of saying this is an ordinary this or an extraordinary that. Perhaps even I say those things at times, but for real, what is the deal?

Do you want to be extra ordinary, which basically means remarkable, exceptional, or special? What? So being ordinary is sort of being remarkable?

Now we come to what I want to talk about. What really is meant by ordinary? I see people say this about a poem or a book or a picture they drew and to me whatever it is seems awesome.

None of us should ever sell ourselves short on whatever we do. At that moment in time that is what you are doing and can do. “But I could have done better.” Maybe so but at that moment you did what you did and can’t change it so why dwell on it? Like I’ve said many times in my writings, dwelling is a house made of wood or brick, not a place to live in made of your past mistakes or missed opportunities.

Ordinary to you may be extraordinary to me. By changing how you look at what you do perhaps you will change how you do. Just consider every moment as your best moment. No matter what it is, it is the best at that moment you can have. And then that moment is replaced by the next best moment.

I don’t dwell in the past, I can’t. I know some of you may be thinking since Ronovan has amnesia it’s kind of a given that I can’t dwell there. But I don’t dwell on what I miss. I can’t. If I do then I miss out on what is happening now, what can happen and what may make me better as a person and maybe one day make everything come back to me. If I dwell on the negatives and the stress of life I will never accomplish anything.

I am working on cartooning right now. With my hands, body, and mind it is probably one of the worst things I could be doing, but it is something I WANT. I could tell myself it is impossible so give up and lie in bed all day and stop doing anything. But I don’t. I push and push until I get to where I want to be or at least continue on that path.

Today realize your ordinary is extraordinary. The foundation of exceptional is based in your everyday life. Keep moving forward and fill your life with special.

Much Respect

Ronovan

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The secret to a positive day.

Ronovan Inspiration & Motivation, Opinion Articles , , , , , , , ,

I wanted to do a Throwback Thursday Post, but I have so many I found it difficult to sort through them all to find one to share again. I did find this one in my folders on my computer. I didn’t find it in my posts and thought why not share it now. This is a favorite topic of mine.

How do you start your day? Yeah, I know, we all hit the bathroom first usually, but let’s say everything is set and good to go, what do you do?

More than likely you are beginning your day the wrong way. The way you start your day has an impact on the way you live your day.

“Bull, Ronovan. Other people dictate my day!”

I don’t want to hear it. When I wake up in the morning, I am the one in control of my thoughts and actions. I am actually in control of my reactions the entire day. If I begin with a positive and centered self, a truly focused self, then I can be positive in my interactions for the day and stay positive throughout the day.

If you don’t start out focused then you are simply reacting the rest of the day and often times with negative emotions attached.

“So how do we do this, oh great and wise Ronovan?”

Yes I hear the sarcasm in the voice.

It’s different for everyone.

What get’s you calm and focused?

Here are examples:

Mediation

Prayer or Reading the Bible

Exercise

A cup of coffee and:

  • watching the sun rise
  • reading the newspaper
  • listening to music
  • looking at the birds in the bird feeder
  • reading the next chapter in a book

Listening to podcasts, music, or talk radio

Mentally going through a checklist of your day

Just knowing what you have planned for the day, even if a routine day, makes it easier on you.

Beginning your preparation for the day the night before can help

I like having my clothes ready, and an idea of what my breakfast will be and if I am needing to prepare a lunch or not. I like to think about people I will come into contact with, that I know about, and if I have an appointment and be mentally ready for that.

There are little things we can do to take care of the parts of life that are in our control, so why not do it? If I can start my day off calmly then I am not beginning it running around already hectic and in a bad mood then that’s a great start.

There are numerous ways to become calm and centered for the beginning of your day. The point is to do it.

I have had to take control of my life more lately. Even being in the physical and mental state I am in, my life is hectic with two blogs running and basically life in general. I have felt life crashing lately, with the crashing even seeping into my writing, so I have taken control of it to the extreme for the moment. Do you know what happens to your life if you are not in control of it? If you don’t start yourself off focused? You lose it, and you could lose your friends. Before that happens I decided to refocus, like I once did, every day. I am prioritizing and organizing.

Some people may not understand it, as it’s difficult to explain, but I am fine with that. This is me, the most important person in my life. I am the most important me in the life of the people I know. I want to be here for both them and me for a long time.

Here is a quote from an ancestor of mine.

prepared

Looking at this post I wrote back in September of last year, it seems I need to once again refocus. I’ve lost a lot lately. And I lose more every single day. I received an email, an understanding email from someone, then they stopped following me on Twitter. Not certain I understand that, but I am coming to terms with something. I don’t have to understand everything. The best thing I can do is try to understand me and what I am about to do, whatever that may be at the time.

Preparation. Starting my day off the right way. It’s not only the secret to a positive day, it’s the secret to a positive life, a successful life. A successful life? That’s for another post.

Much Respect

Ronovan

 

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#BeWoW Francesca Battistelli with Free to be Me @francescamusic

Ronovan #BeWoW, Inspiration & Motivation, Videos/Music , , , , , , , ,

My #BeWoW Inspirational Song to all of you. You can’t help but move and be uplifted by this. Saw her in concert a few years ago at WinterJam. Might have been the best part of the night.

Francesca Battistelli with Free to be Me

At twenty years of age
I’m still looking for a dream
A war’s already waged
For my destiny
But you’ve already won the battle
And you’ve got great plans for me
Though I can’t always see

‘Cause I got a couple dents in my fender
Got a couple rips in my jeans
Try to fit the pieces together
But perfection is my enemy
On my own I’m so clumsy
But on your shoulders I can see
I’m free to be me

When I was just a girl
I thought I had it figured out
My life would turn out right
And I’d make it here somehow
But things don’t always come that easy
And sometimes I would doubt

‘Cause I got a couple dents in my fender
Got a couple rips in my jeans
Try to fit the pieces together
But perfection is my enemy
On my own I’m so clumsy
But on your shoulders I can see
I’m free to be me

And you’re free to be you

Sometimes I believe
That I can do anything
Yet other times I think
I’ve got nothing good to bring
But you look at my heart and you tell me
That I’ve got all you seek
And it’s easy to believe
Even though

‘Cause I got a couple dents in my fender
Got a couple rips in my jeans
Try to fit the pieces together
But perfection is my enemy
On my own I’m so clumsy
But on your shoulders I can see
I’m free to be me

 

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18 Quotes to Inspire Writers, Bloggers–Everyone.

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The guy that came up with the Positivity campaign has a problem as he sits here and begins typing. He needs to think of something to write about. Part of the beginning an article with an idea yet to be developed is 18-quotespressure to write an article that is specifically about a certain topic. I gave ideas for others involved to do if they wanted help thinking of something. I am contrary to myself at times. I wanted to do an article instead. I think I like to hear myself type. Now, here I am—writer’s blocked.

As I typed those last two words, the idea came to me. There is something that gets in the way of all of us at times. It keeps us from being positive as often as we could. Did you see the words be positive all of the time in that last sentence?

I may attempt to be positive all the time, but there are life’s lessons that will come my way I need to wade through. Those are the moments that make me healthier mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. They are the moments that make my positive moments stronger. And they help me be more helpful in a positive way to others.

There are things we need to keep in mind. Pressures are often things we put upon ourselves. In reality they are all put upon by us in that we choose to accept the pressure moments. Yes, we have responsibilities, but within those responsibilities there should be an acceptance of reality; things will happen we need to work through, work with, stay calm through.

As I write whatever piece I am writing, those moments of stress come to me quite often as I attempt to capture the perfect voice, word, or phrasing. The books I am an author of are filled with pressure moments I have worked my way thorough. Only recently have I discovered a way to deal with them that may actually be a breakthrough for me.

With that in mind I have several quotes to share, to keep in mind.They are in the order in which I discovered them. I felt an order would negate perhaps the reason I found them in the way I did. Enjoy.

 

“If you want a happy ending, that depends, of course, on where you stop your story.”~ Orson Welles

 

“We do not quit playing because we grow old; we grow old because we quit playing.”~ Oliver Wendell Holmes

 

“Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great ones make you feel that you, too, can become great.”~ Mark Twain

 

“Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken.”~ Oscar Wilde

 

“Before you can win, you have to believe you are worthy.”~ Mike Ditka

 

“It’s the possibility of having a dream come true that makes life interesting.”~ Paulo Coelho

 

“The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself.”~ Anna Quindlen

 

“The man who doesn’t relax and hoot a few hoots voluntarily, now and then, is in great danger of hooting hoots and standing on his head for the edification of the pathologist and trained nurse, a little later on.”~Elbert Hubbard

 

“Men for the sake of getting a living forget to live.”~Margaret Fuller

 

“Take rest; a field that has rested gives a bountiful crop.”~Ovid

 

“One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one’s work is terribly important.” ~Bertrand Russell

 

“Stress is an ignorant state.  It believes that everything is an emergency.”~Natalie Goldberg

 

“There is more to life than increasing its speed.”~Mohandas K. Gandhi

 

“Slow down and everything you are chasing will come around and catch you.”~John De Paola

 

“Don’t let your mind bully your body into believing it must carry the burden of its worries.”~Terri Guillemets

 

“Tension is who you think you should be.  Relaxation is who you are.”~Chinese Proverb

 

“Sometimes the most important thing in a whole day is the rest we take between two deep breaths.”~Etty Hillesum

 

I hope you found a quote that made sense to you in a way.

@RonovanWrites

Ron_LWI

 

 

 

 

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My Sunday Thought: Insults Don’t Insult Me.

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Some of you may have noticed I have a slogan or motto attached to the blog now.

ronovan writes

I’ve been asked the renewal of what. No, I don’t remember by whom. But I do remember whoever it was had read my Sunday Thought last week about the renewing of our minds or had at least liked it.

There are a lot of things I’ve seen in the news of late about some pretty, well, let’s just call them what they are. Stupid and even juvenile disagreements. A great many involve the back and forth Tweet fights of celebrities, usually music people. Sometimes it is between on artist that once was somebody who is trying to remain relevant by insulting a current somebody. The truth is they are really both nobodies as far as on my radar of celebrities of enjoyment. They simply waste mental energy and disrupt positivity for a moment of time that could be better used for something else.

Imagine if you will that one celebrity praised another instead. How often do you see that trending on any social outlet?

Don’t have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels.  And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful.~2 Timothy 2:23-24

First of all, don’t even try and confuse this with an idea of we should roll over and let a nation or a person just completely stomp us into the ground. These verses have been misinterpreted almost as much as, well actually not near as much as the following.

But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also.-Jesus in Matthew 5:39

There is a lot of culture behind the wording of this and I won’t get into it too much but simply put it is saying to ignore the insults and the slights of the world because they really mean nothing. The left hand was the shall we say the unclean hand in the time of Jesus. People predominantly used their right to do things such as eating and striking someone but of course to strike me on the right cheek you would have to backhand me, a sign of believing I was inferior to you. An insult.

We get backhanded a lot. We get backhanded in our blogs, we get backhanded at work, in our relationships, in love and in pretty much ever facet of life. A big step toward renewal is to realize these are insults that do you no permanent life ending harm. It may take a few moments to realize that, but you will realize it, just pray it’s not too late.

A 16 year old boy, I emphasize boy here, calls me a cripple  in a grocery store. Do I let him know he has touched a nerve by retaliating? No, I do something I talk about in an old article I wrote back in May called Don’t ALLOW People to Control You. It’s advice from a very successful woman I heard at a business luncheon probably 15 years or so ago. I do not mean some large gathering with hundreds of people. There were maybe 50 people there and we were able to actually have a good discussion. Perhaps that is why I went home and typed up the notes from that meeting.

I’ve learned through the years to let the petty little garbage things go. I don’t give it space in my mind or heart that belongs to loving and adoring. That gives me a lot of loving and adoring to give. It also gives me a lot of ability to step back and look at situations in a fair manner. You learn how to look beyond things that spark that emotional reaction inside of you.

A lot of things this past year could have been avoided if dealt with in a mature fashion and would have set such a great example in many ways. But people are ALLOWING things to happen.

To get to the point of Renewal you need to get rid of the old habits  you have of ALLOWING others control over you.

Remember;

My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.~James 1:19-20

do not lose your temper

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A boy’s promise. A father’s joy.

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When his son was 8 years old he promised his dad that when his dad became 57 he would give him his dream car, a 57 Chevy Bel-Air. Enjoy.

 

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Some people change, you know?

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Yeah, I know it’s not Sunday but I had a great verse given to me and wanted to share. You know sometimes you are seen as that person who wasn’t good in school or you were the fat kid or any other number of things. For the rest of your life that is who you are.

Matthew 13:58

58 And he did not do many miracles there because of their lack of faith.

change happensJesus was just seen as that carpenter’s son when he went back home. People had heard what he had done but still just couldn’t get past what they had seen of him growing up.  Imagine that.

For a lot of us out there we write. We can write just about anything. For some of us we were that quiet person that just made it through school without trouble of getting noticed. And that’s who we are still.

No one I grew up with or know would believe I write science fiction books, fantasy, historical drama, teen adventures or Romance novels. I’m still the same guy I was growing up, even to my ‘family’. For some people, if they never moved away from home for a period of time that being held to a a certain mold will crush that growing talent. For others they will leave and become this new person and when returning home they are once again who they were. Just like Jesus.

Imagine all that the world has missed out on because of people not being open to change and growth.

If you have a friend, family member or even your own child who shows a sign of being different than they were even just a week ago be open to it. My son enjoys things with me because I am open to his changing. How many 7 year old boys in the South do you know would try Sushi and like it? He’s told me the parts of a story he wants me to write someday. He does all these different things and I am always ready for the next change to happen.

I had a concussion and I am a totally different person. Well almost totally. But you can’t tell me that any longer that I am a certain something because I am reinventing myself. My original tagline for this blog site was “discovering my world one word at a time.” That’s what I do every day I write a new article or research something. Notice I am not rediscovering, I am discovering. I’m not looking back, I am looking forward.

Be open to all who show change because change happens. If you aren’t open you might miss out on something amazing.

 

Much Respect

Ronovan

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My Sunday Thought: Be quiet.

Ronovan Inspiration & Motivation, Thoughts, Writing , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Be Quiet Chalk Board ImageI always like to write my Sunday Thought about something to do with events that are happening in society today. The problem with that is the same things have been going on for weeks now and to be honest I have been attempting to avoid simply going off on a rant to say exactly what I think of the various situations. So far I’ve held my tongue and merely spoken in a somewhat neutral tone. Mostly because it would be such a long article that I know it would not be read and everyone has there opinions.

And they would be just that. Opinions. You can take two people and give them the exact same information and they will see something different. It all depends on your view of how things operate.

Why do I not give my full blown, knock down, in your face opinions on Ferguson, Cosby and Garner? Because it would be an opinion that, although not in the media and not sensationalized or used inflammatorially would still add fuel to a fire that no one can know 100% either way about. Don’t make assumptions about my opinion based on that statement. Why?

James 1:19-22
19 My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, 20 because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. 21 Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you.
22 Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says.

And if you don’t want to take the advice of the half brother of Jesus then take it from the wisest normal man that ever lived.

Proverbs 17:28
Even fools are thought wise if they keep silent,
    and discerning if they hold their tongues.

I’ve taught my son one thing if nothing else. Keep quiet unless the teacher asks him the question or he’s certain of the answer being asked. You see kids just spout out an answer sometimes and look like they are crazy. We think it’s funny. Adults do it and we look foolish. That happens in every aspect of life.

 

Much Respect

Ronovan

 

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Choose to Let Go

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I remember a time long ago when . . . wait a minute. No I don’t. I love amnesia jokes. Only an amnesiac can tell them though, so don’t get any ideas. I’m looking at you, what’s your name. You know who I’m talking about.

Over a year ago I had an epiphany, well actually I had an accident in my home. I think of that day as “A loss of” my mind and think how it turns out that it was the best thing that could have happened to me in many ways. I got a chance to do something many people wish they could do but just don’t seem to find the time or maybe even courage to do. I got the chance to . . .

Choose To Let Go

You see, I have these writings about my past. I can delve into them daily in an attempt to become who I once was. I can read memories including old grudges. I can stumble over great long forgotten, even before last summer, nuggets of wonderful. Being able to choose, in someways, is “Finding Freedom” from all of those influences that led me to have certain opinions about things that were muddied with opinions and thoughts not quite as straight forward as they are now.

Yeah, I could become that old me.

Or and this is a BIG or.

I can choose to let go of a past and concentrate on becoming someone that I want to be. I have the important parts of that past in front of me so why not concentrate on those and making my life better? The important memories return as they need to, such as “Church Playground Memories” I wrote about several months ago about my son.

You know there are a lot of things in life you can’t control. I’ve discovered that. The one thing you can control is how your mind works. Do you love? Do you hate? Do you pick this meal or that meal? Do you read this book or that book? There are a great many things you can control.

One of those things you can control is choice. Choose to let go of those things in your life that just get in the way of you moving forward and becoming that kind, loving, creative, inspiring and whatever other positive words you can think of, person.

I had to let go of a lot of things. I even let go of family. Sounds bad doesn’t it? This part of my family was a negative influence on my recovery. Each time I see this family member’s name now, I think that negative thought. Some minds that have been damaged CAN’T let go of some things. So I did something I COULD do. I chose to remove contact with that person. You know when a family member makes jokes about your amnesia it’s a bit cruel. I’ve moved on from that, but I remember it. I chose to instead of being in contact with a relative I didn’t remember anyway and apparently didn’t have contact with for almost 20 years to focus on people that care about me now.

The mind, the heart, the body, all of you cannot heal without a positive environment. That is something I have discovered this past year. You have a problem? You can’t move forward? Look around you and see why. Then make a choice. Either stay and stagnate or move  on and heal.

Choose to lose to Gain Image

You’ll notice a few links today. Those are links to articles I’ve written about my dealings with my Amnesia.

Much Respect

Ronovan

For a different take on Choose To Let Go visit Meanings and Musings article of the same name by clicking the link.

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Brighten Up Your Future In The Present

Ronovan Inspiration & Motivation , , , ,

“Why not dream big? One way to cast your anchor into the future while improving your mood for the moment is to plan something exciting, something positive, something that makes you smile. Maybe it’s a vacation, maybe it’s a night out with someone special or maybe it’s just some much-needed “me” time/ Make a plan, set a date–and then bask in the anticipation.”

idea.jpg

 

Inspiration in the Leaves of Autumn

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Inspiration in Loss.

More than likely some of you are looking at those three words and thinking of sports.  As they came to mind sports did not. But they apply just as readily. If you follow college football in the U.S. of A. and like your team mascots in the feline variety with stripes and/or confusingly have a mascot that isn’t even your actual team name mascot, you perhaps do not see inspiration in loss today. But never fear, the other teams are inspired by your losses. Your teams have done a fine service to canine fans everywhere.

autumn_;eaves_road.jpg
from wikipedia

For me, as I write this, I am thinking of Autumn here in the United States and the loss of the leaves as they fall from the trees. I see them outside my window as the wind blows and they look like brightly colored snowflakes. Very large brightly colored snowflakes.

This time of year brings a bit of a feeling to me. Nostalgia? I wonder if it is possible. Even without memories I can think of, somehow I believe they must be buried inside somewhere because I get this feeling of brisk mornings outside as I go into the school building and late afternoons waiting to play football on a Friday night. The skeletal like trees barely hanging on to that last cheerful bit of color are just like my football team in school and any possible lead it ever had . . . give up dear tree, you are going to lose it.

Sometimes I wonder if those are memories or things I’ve read about and learned lately. But leaves falling from the trees here now are like worries falling away, or dare I say it, the loss of friendships.

We spend time in agony as we lose a friendship for whatever reason. We drift apart. We don’t connect any longer. We perhaps don’t communicate in the right way. For me, I literally lose the memory of a person that was a friend. And often times it’s really no fault of either friend.

I’ve learned a lot this past year, and one is to push through loss and look at how I can go forth because of that loss. Yes, because of that loss.

Have you ever really noticed what people do with leaves? They put them in scrap books and press the leaves to save them, like photograph memories. Some even take leaves and press them into clay to imbed the pattern of them so that memory will be forever in a work of art. Some rake up the leaves and have their children jump into a big pile and have fun. Those old friends are useful, even if no longer what they once were. Each leaf falling to a new purpose somewhere else for someone else.

I recently read an article that said you should mow over those leaves and give the nutrients back to the earth, the grass, like mulch instead of raking them up. I am not sure about mowing over my lost friends. I think that would be illegal somehow. And I am not really into Chianti and Fava Beans.

I use losses as a way to put feelings into writing scenes in novels, writing this article for my blog, and in truth perhaps freeing up a bit of myself for other things. Yes, freeing up time. That is a rather sad thing to think about. For a writer time is something rare. As a friendship somehow begins to crumble there is a lot of time put into thinking about it and feeling about it.

Don’t feel guilty about thinking of something like ‘now I have time for . . .‘ It’s okay, think it. It doesn’t mean you care about that friend any less. You simply are accepting what has happened, putting it into perspective, and finding something positive to take from it.

Let those negative thoughts of what you have lost go. Move on. Push through. Use any cliche that works for you. Just do it. Just beat it. It’s on like Donkey Kong. Once you pop you can’t stop.

Inspiration in Loss. I am using loss to inspire me to fulfill my dreams. To not waste time because things really can be and are lost in a moment. You have a dream, a goal, then go for it.

Every inspiration and every drive for a goal is lined with beautiful leaves.

 

Inspiring times are those not so easy.

Inspiring times are those that make you feel queasy.

Inspiring times are ones are perhaps not of your making.

Inspiring times are, however ones for your taking.

 

See y’all next time,

Ronovan

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