Society

The Importance of Being You.

Ronovan #BeWoW, Opinion Articles , , , , , , ,

We are all different. A bit of an obvious statement but in parts of the world being different isn’t accepted, expected, or tolerated in the slightest. If we were all meant to be the same it would be a very boring and no-point-in-free-will world. improtance-being-you

Each of us is meant to give something to the world as a whole. No, that doesn’t mean I am going to go and invent something that will save the universe from the attack of the space amoebas. (Do I get nerd points for spelling that right the first time?)

However, I may be the person that influences the person that does invent that something. We look at ourselves at times and since we are different from the norm we sometimes turn ourselves into the ultimate anti-norm we can, feeling that is what we are supposed to be. It is our badge of honor somehow. It pushes us away from society and love and friends and happiness. Perhaps being alone is your happiness, perhaps it’s your norm. But I don’t think complete and total alone-ness is anyone’s norm.

Yes, society is part of the problem of our lack of acceptance of who we are. You may be a lover of punk rock with Goth influences and love watching Harry Potter while eating cotton candy. And you read Fifty Shades to discover how not to write a book for quality but for sensationalist salesmanship of secret desires you would like to explore but are ashamed to admit. If you admit all of that, people will look at you strangely and that look influences you without you even realizing at times.

But there is something you are missing. You are important as you. If you like to wear Polo shirts and khaki pants plus do all those things above then do it. Why, because that’s you. You are your norm. The only norm in the universe is what people are meant to be. Not what a society expects people to be.

The importance of being you is that you are meant to influence something in this world for something good. This isn’t to say you are to intentionally go about seeking out what that is. Just. Be. You. As a teacher I know of what I speak. There may be something I said that made an impact in a student’s life that then brought about something in them that then led to something in another and so on.

The power of positivity in life is an expanding phenomenon. It’s a building block on top of another and another and another leading to something. One harsh word, one sarcastic barb, one insensitive comment at the wrong time and you, yes you, may push a person over a line. What is that line? Perhaps it is not going to college, not getting a job, committing suicide . . . not asking for help . . . not asking for help again.

Whatever you are, that’s the line you should take without embarrassment or shame or feeling awkward. The ultimate expression of love—to me—would be to be you and not an imitator or fake. Truth is love. Therefore, you being who you are is love and that is so important in this world. Once you realize it’s okay to be you, it’s the norm to be you, then you recognize and accept it’s okay and the norm for other people to be themselves is okay as well.

The norm is in each form.

 For my first post in my BeWoW series click Get Positive: Sorting Your Life’s Junk.

I thought I would add a little mention after a reader thought of the above article. Do not think that if your norm is to be a murderer or child molester is something that would be considered positive on the world. The I idea someone might consider those lines of behavior as norms of positivity that I would think of never occurred to me and thus never entered the original article above.

As a follow up to this post I wrote Encouragement as a Norm not an Exception the very next day.

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My Sunday Thought: The Year of Renewal

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I believe I’ve spoken of a pastor friend of mine before who brought me fully into a love of studying the Bible. He has his own ministry now that he is retired in which he teaches Apologetics in Oklahoma. I greatly enjoy Apologetics as it goes so hand in hand with my love of History. One verse that is key to his ministry is;

Romans 12:2
Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

I wanted to share this verse with you today as the final My Sunday Thought of 2014. I would like for you to look around at the world today. Look at what is popular on television and in the various forms of media.

Now take Fifty Shades of Grey and give it to your 10 year old to read. I know many of you are likely thinking this book is for adults only. I slip into that vein of thought at times when I write some of my poetry not that there have been many that could not be shared and yes, even in a Romance I’ve written there are scenes that are a bit much at times, not yet published nor revised by me. But does it make it right? Does the fact of the existence of something in a society make it right?

We should be able to hold ourselves up proudly at any moment and look at people and say “Do not throw me in with the swine you have made yourself to be.”

There is truly nothing of this world, the popular world that I care to be a part of. What do I want filling my mind? Do I want negativity and hatred or positivity and encouragement? Do I want skewed views of every single moment of life that is played out and inflamed according to media direction for the purpose of ratings when they could be trying to help a situation or do I want that which will give me hope and give me the ability to love every creation of God on this planet as a creation of God regardless of my dislike for who or what they are? Do I want to be an instigator or a mediator?

People don’t agree with my ideas. They believe they are a bit extreme. I believe we should not fill our minds with the trash that music has become, the movies, the literature. Don’t get me wrong, I believe everyone has the choice to do as they wish. There are a lot of aspects of life that should be portrayed in literature but done wisely. I simply believe that I have the choice to not fill my mind with some of it. I even suggested to people at my church, in ministry leadership positions that we should try to not support industry that supports all of the things that are a negative influence. We should not buy our fuel from stores that sell pornography. All I received from that was a nodding of the head with the “but” look to it. How could we ever possibly do that?

I am aware of the things, I just choose not to fill my mind and life with them. As the new year approaches give the idea of renewing your mind a consideration. Fill your life, your mind with positives so you may be a positive influence. Introduce the idea to your friends and family as well. Don’t be down on someone when they do listen to something or watch something. You just choose not to participate. Have your own music with you, a book. Or be like me and carry earplugs everywhere and then you don’t have to listen to anything or anyone you don’t want to. Yes, I have a medical excuse but so do you. You don’t want to be filled by the ill.

What you eat fuels your body. If you feed it junk your body will quickly lose energy. It stands to reason you think what you fill your mind with. What do you what fueling your mind?

In closing I am making my 2015 The Year of Renewal. A renewal of focus on those things that are most important to me and most important to my future. If you choose to travel along with me perhaps you will see that renewal playing out here in the pages of Ronovan Writes.

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My Sunday Thought: Be quiet.

Ronovan Inspiration & Motivation, Thoughts, Writing , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Be Quiet Chalk Board ImageI always like to write my Sunday Thought about something to do with events that are happening in society today. The problem with that is the same things have been going on for weeks now and to be honest I have been attempting to avoid simply going off on a rant to say exactly what I think of the various situations. So far I’ve held my tongue and merely spoken in a somewhat neutral tone. Mostly because it would be such a long article that I know it would not be read and everyone has there opinions.

And they would be just that. Opinions. You can take two people and give them the exact same information and they will see something different. It all depends on your view of how things operate.

Why do I not give my full blown, knock down, in your face opinions on Ferguson, Cosby and Garner? Because it would be an opinion that, although not in the media and not sensationalized or used inflammatorially would still add fuel to a fire that no one can know 100% either way about. Don’t make assumptions about my opinion based on that statement. Why?

James 1:19-22
19 My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, 20 because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. 21 Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you.
22 Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says.

And if you don’t want to take the advice of the half brother of Jesus then take it from the wisest normal man that ever lived.

Proverbs 17:28
Even fools are thought wise if they keep silent,
    and discerning if they hold their tongues.

I’ve taught my son one thing if nothing else. Keep quiet unless the teacher asks him the question or he’s certain of the answer being asked. You see kids just spout out an answer sometimes and look like they are crazy. We think it’s funny. Adults do it and we look foolish. That happens in every aspect of life.

 

Much Respect

Ronovan

 

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I don’t know.

Ronovan Opinion Articles ,

I’m not one that’s known from shying away from topics that are difficult or sensitive.

Ferguson.

I was going to write about this, and I even did a little but then as I looked at the media reports and the hatred being put out there to fan the flames higher and higher, I decided I would rather talk about . . .

In all honesty, I don’t know what to talk about. If I were to say I support the outrage and the protests at the decision  of the jury, then I would be fanning the flames as well. If I said that based on the autopsy reports and the photos of the officers face following the event, that I could see how the jury came to their decision, then it would suddenly become a racial issue.

Even though I am not 100% White.

Some are looking at my photo and wondering what could I be. It doesn’t matter what I could be, it’s what you see that matters. “Love your neighbor as yourself.” In this situation, on both sides, if that phrase had been used and lived by none of this would be a discussion, and that starts with the stealing from the store earlier all the way through today and how protests are destroying property of people not involved.

“Love your neighbor as yourself.”

 

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Soul Lives

Ronovan Poetry , , , , , , ,

Flipping through the lines of lives every day, I have to say

Where are the regrets to be had

By the officially clad

Shining lives

Spinning knives

What do we need

You and me

Is there so much hurt

In the universe

That we can’t be

In unity

 

We strive

 

Soul lives

Soul lives

Soul lives

Soul lives

 

There’s travesty

In their majesty

Battle lines

Over conscious minds

Why does it mean

No more obscene

Draw the fire

With one soul liar

 

Soul lives

Soul lives

Soul lives

Soul lives

 

It matters not what we know . . . but what we’re told . . . no no no NO

Our lives, revives, Soul lives, yes what we know . . . is more–than–we–hold

 

Be beautiful in the moment, every day, be what you say, no no no . . . no don’t–no never give way

Soul lives

Soul lives

 

The travesty, of your majesty, your arrogance, of your extravagance, of your dominance no no no NO

Soul dies

Soul dies

 

But I don’t give . . .  my Soul Lives

 

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The Bad Husband/Father: Expectation VS. Reality

Ronovan Opinion Articles , , , , , , ,

I like funny. I like being funny. I attempt it at times. I epic fail at times.  Not long ago I wrote a guest blog for insidethelifeofmoi. I tried so hard to write something funny and when I was first asked about it I had a great idea and should have written it then. The problem, I waited too long, and my funny died.

I can still  pull it off at times but only when I don’t think about it. And with a deadline approaching I wrote what you are about to read, somewhat edited now. It was inspired by one of Amanda’s articles The Good Wife: Expectation VS. Reality Amanda and I agreed it just wasn’t right, the tone wasn’t right for that moment. In fact it was a bad idea.

But here we have it now. It’s a serious subject that I will try to make an easy read. It’s something I, as a man, feel needs to be said.

 

What comes to mind when you think of expectations today’s society has for a Good Husband/Father? Look at the media, television, and even many movies, and what do you see?

 

I am not asking you what you think as you sit calmly at your work desk, at your kitchen table, or in your bed reading this. I am asking you what society at large thinks just from what they are fed through input sources.

 

I want you to think of the last 30 years of television and think of the dads. Now take Cosby out of that picture. You know a lot of the men in the most popular shows are shown as buffoons. Yes they are given a facade of intelligence or power but they usually end up as a joke, a punch line. And yes, I know this was the role of women in the past and it was not right then either, and it is not right when it occurs today.

 

Without man being used as a joke then how will we have comedies? Situations can be funny without people needing to be made fools of. My point is look at society today and see how the fathers and husbands are doing, and how even children are looking at those men.

 

Now you see why this is about Bad Husband/Father Expectations. I couldn’t come up with the Good Husband ones, not ones that people really honestly and truthfully EXPECT a Husband/Father to do. The key here is EXPECT. Want, yes, EXPECT, no.

 

You might want us to cuddle with you . . .

man_woman_cuddling_bed_smiles

 

 

 

 

 

. . . but you don’t expect it.

Fore the sake of readability I will just refer to the husband as opposed to husband/father.

 

The Bad Husband/Father: Expectation VS. Reality

What entertainment and media has led a society to believe.

First of all I do not think entertainment and media are  solely responsible for everything in every situation. And I know there are truths in every scenario presented, that’s what makes it funny, we can all somehow relate to it because we probably know someone who did something like the situation shown in the episode. The following is about part of what entertainment and media are responsible for, what they could help correct.

We’re Not Helpful with our own Children

 BAD HUSBAND EXPECTATION

Men are selfish and only interested in time for themselves and incapable of helping there kids. They are so inept they don’t know how to do 3rd Grade homework or even make a meal without calling for take out.

 

 GOOD HUSBAND REALITY

Some men are like that. Then you have those that are real men. To them their responsibility does not end with just helping pay the bills. It doesn’t even cross their minds to be the Bad Husband. Some of us jump in the car as soon as work is over and drive as fast as the law will allow turning a 45 minute drive into a 37 minute one to pick up our child from after school before the late fee kicks in so said child doesn’t have to stay there any longer than need be. Even man_helping_boy_with_homework.jpgthough the wife says it’s not necessary to make the trip, we want the child home and not waiting. Then turn around and drive the 45 minutes back home, even while in pain that some can only imagine.

Upon arriving home the Good Husband starts the homework process with the young (I hate homework and want to play) child and puts dinner on to cook and returns to help with the homework which is progressing just fine, even if there is the melt down that occurs each day for certain ages. Yes people, your children are not the only ones that cry and have that moment and then turns back into an angel minutes later to finish the homework happily with pride (at times).

 

BAD HUSBAND RESULT

It sends a message that men don’t’ do anything and that the women do it all. Both genders growing up think it and either a) go along with it or b) rebel against it in an irrational manner not realizing what the majority truth is.

 

 We Prefer Sports over All Else

 

BAD HUSBAND EXPECTATION

We have a sporting event we cannot live without seeing. Then it happens. The child wants to watch something, or the wife wants to go somewhere. We fake injuries, give excuses or flat out refuse. We even shove money at the situation. Anything goes in order to see our sports program. We even pay the children to lie to help out.

 

GOOD  HUSBAND REALITYBestFather8

Family comes first. Yes there are events we would like to see. For instance the University we graduated from is playing football against their biggest rival, but we’ll find out the score. We can record it if we want it that much. Experiencing an autumn tradition with the family means more than a sporting event. Seeing the excitement in your child’s eyes as they know you are nearing wherever it is you go, that’s better than a, yes I am going to say it, silly ball and men you don’t know.

 

BAD HUSBAND RESULT

Men think everything else is more important than the family becomes a cliché go to idea. It becomes a staple of society. It sets a standard that children and even a future spouse will accept down to. Yes, ‘accept down to’ as in they won’t expect a good man for a husband.

 

 

We Just Want Sex for Our own Pleasure

 

BAD HUSBAND EXPECTATION

5 minutes or 15 minutes tops. Not only is it just for us, but we like it when we want it and where we want it and we pout if the answer is no. The woman gives in out of pity and we’re like school boys with a new toy. This is the only reason we are with a wife in the first place, we are hoping we don’t have to face a life of rejection.

 

 

GOOD HUSBAND REALITY

Massage_FrankfurtWe love when what we do makes the woman happy. For some of us that is the pleasure of it all. We know it takes more to make a woman sated in bed than it does a man, or at least most men, but there is something enjoyable about a happy woman, especially when she in turn takes control. And you know what? Even if there is no sex there is still a relationship as long as the love is there.

 

 

BAD HUSBAND RESULT

Boys and girls are growing up to be women and men thinking sex is a bargaining tool and not what it is really meant to be. You take a look around and then come back and disagree after listening to the the songs and watching the music videos. Do I sound old? No, I sound like someone who realizes one of the largest influences on our children is music, not parents. “Not my kids, Ronovan.” I’ve been a high school teacher and a youth ministry director . . . yes your kids too.

 

 

We don’t sacrifice

 

BAD HUSBAND EXPECTATION

We’re all for us. No matter what it is we are out for number one. We buy cheaper clothing for the kids, cheap gifts for the wife, just so we can get a new golf club that is no better than the other 5 versions of the same. We miss ball games and events because we are doing something for ourselves rather than for our family. We disappoint.

 

GOOD HUSBAND REALITY

We don’t care what we wear. We buy khaki colored pants to wear to work and everywhere else, no matter what store they are from. They don’t fade except to become a lighter tan color. Our shirts have mends in them, collars are faded, and elbows are thread bare. In these times you do what it takes to give your child/family the best that you can. You wear the same shoes for years even though every time it rains your feet get wet. The shoes LOOK okay from the top, so you keep going.

 

BAD HUSBAND RESULT

The idea is men are selfish and don’t care. What does this do to the ideas that children develop? You say “It’s only TV, Ronovan.” I ask you, who do they listen to more, you or the TV? And in all honesty where do they learn more from?

 

 

We don’t work hard

BAD HUSBAND EXPECTATION

Whether at work or home men have these things where they take every shortcut to just get by, to just get the job done.  These shortcuts are shown as being dangerous and life threatening at times, but people laugh at what the husband has done. Humor? I like humor, but humor doesn’t have to come at the expense of one of the only two pieces of society.

 

GOOD HUSBAND REALITY

Driving all day from house to house after making phone calls for hours and then entering homes one would never bring a house plant in to in an attempt to earn money to keep a life style and a future going, the man then continues his roles of chauffeur, tutor, and cook along with his community work.

Also yard worker, errand runner, and all around list completer should be added.

BAD HUSBAND RESULT

We are bad role models for the kids and disappointments to our wives. Even when we are not bad role models you can still hear the little jokes at times your children or wife agree with.

 

 

We are inept at life

BAD HUSBAND EXPECTATION

Somehow we’ve gone through life without having learned social graces or any other basic abilities for life. We cannot do anything for ourselves in a conventional manner and if left alone to our own devices will humiliate our families with our attempts, ruining kids chances at being popular and wives chances at promotions. We cannot cook, clean or any other home related activity without help from even a child who has more mastery than we do.

 

GOOD HUSBAND REALITY

We are quiet when necessary, speak up when needed, and when riled we have a way of making our views politely aware to everyone. We don’t yell, we don’t shout, but we make our choice of importance known without a doubt. We have charm, we have intellect, we have awareness and we can combine it all to intersect in our daily walk of life.

 

 BAD HUSBAND RESULT

Again a bad example is set for the young. And even spouses who know the truth will eventually fall prey to societies expectations.

 

We don’t remember anything

BAD HUSBAND EXPECTATION

We all have amnesia. Birthdays, anniversaries, and any event not 100% to do with ourselves is up for forgetting. I speak on this from experience as I suffer from retro grade and short term amnesia.

 

GOOD HUSBAND REALITY

We remember it’s spirit day at school when no one else does. We remember it’s time for a doctor’s checkup or a birthday when others might should have. You walk into the room and forget what to say, from your words you spoke we help to get you back on the way or even tell you want you were going to say.

Do we forget things at times, yes but so does everyone with so much on our minds. That’s what society is these days, snippets of micro moments that overlap and do not give us a chance to remember anything. Me personally, the retrograde and short term memory problems kind of have taken their toll, I don’t even have the snippets.

 BAD HUSBAND REALITY

The idea that we don’t remember anything means we don’t care enough to remember or listen.

 

 

 

TV and other forms of entertainment have used the husband/father as a pratfall for comedic relief for decades now. As the years go by what we see becomes something we believe. I know some will say they use the wife for the same reasons in some entertainment. I invite you to write an article of your own and share it. Today is from me and from my angle. A man who suffers from Fibromyalgia, Osteoarthritis, Retrograde and Short Term Memory loss, at least three herniated discs in his spine including his neck, and 24/7 Migraines who now finds himself only able to at times cook a nice dinner every once in a while. I can only write on one topic at a time. Perhaps I will write on what men expect from a Good Wife from a man’s point of view at some point. I can tell you this, the  list would be short; Love, Care, and Share or maybe I would get more detailed as I got thinky about it.

As for me with my problems I still do what I can. Up until an accident not long ago, I was the Good Husband Reality. The Good Father Reality. Yes, the examples I gave for the Good were me. And yes we need to have entertainment but I believe we need to have entertainment that uplifts and builds up people and society rather than tears it down. Everything we are bombarded with leads to assumptions being made about society. And you know what happens to you and me when we assume, right?

The next time your child smarts off at you, using a phrase you don’t recognize, check what they are watching. That safe channel they watch, guess what? They have things now being included that society has slowly accepted as okay and fine for our social norm but we would never teach our children or model for our children. I role model for my child. If he can’t do it, I can’t do it . . . except for driving a car. I do that one, although even a 10 year old boy thinks he can do it.

If you’ve made it this far I will now tell you that there are Husbands/Fathers that are worse than what you see on television. My biological one was such a . . . person. That was back in the early 70s, when I was very small and there weren’t such bad examples on TV that I know of. Media and entertainment are not completely responsible for society today, but it would be nice if they would control things, things that CAN be controlled.

Is that okay with you? Do you like the direction society is taking? Where does our responsibility for it begin and end? Who watches and supports the entertainment? They might be garbage to the mind peddlers, but who are the ones who buy it?

 

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A Friend is a Smile.

Ronovan Blogging , , , , , , , , , ,

Everyone, please visit my very first ever Guest Blog. Amanda of insidethelifeofmoi was kind enough to let me share something from my heart. Please go and check it out and follow her blog if you are not already doing so. She is very engaging with those who comment and is a very sweet young lady.
Much Respect,
Ronovan

Asphalt and Inheritance

Ronovan Poetry , , , , , , , , , , ,

 

cropped-cropped-lost-mind-michael-h.jpg

Why, why, why?

Is this time to be torn by the pattern woven by men?

Do lives creep silently to catch a breath just for a moment in a light that will never set upon them?

Hurling through concrete hoops to land on melted asphalt to be trapped by the creations they have made.

Can they complain?

Do they have a right?

They made it.

They were the forces that shoved it down the throats of others.

Helplessness has been rewarded with gloating over the fall of the mighty movers of all.

The meek and the earth,

They shall inherit.

But is the earth our home or heaven?

The meek of what shall inherit which?

 

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Are You A Catfish?

Ronovan Reblogs , , , , , , , ,

If you know Eloise of Mello-Elo, you know she’s a sweet lady and a lovely person. Read the article and give her a hug. I can’t believe someone would accuse her of being a catfish.

eloisedesousa's avatarThoughts by Mello-Elo

Definition of a catfish – A catfish is someone who pretends to be someone they’re not using Facebook or other social media to create false identities, particularly to pursue deceptive online romances.

Example:
Did you hear how Dave got totally catfished last month?! The fox he thought he was talking to turned out to be a pervy guy from San Diego!

or

I was really falling for that gorgeous gal on Facebook, but she turned out to be a catfish.

courtesy of urban dictionary.com

Catfish could also be construed as those who seek out friendships, creating a persona that is not their own, to exist in a world in which they might not normally be accepted. Am I being pedantic? You tell me.

Social media allows us to edit the images and opinions we share in this global village. Is it surprising that some are tempted to reinvent themselves in…

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Waking up and Recognizing

Ronovan Poetry , , , , , , , , , , ,

Waking up and Recognizing

by: Lost Mind

Sunglasses Dark

What things are on this Lost Mind of mine

People focusing on a cinema and a dime

This world has gone total whack crazy

While lives die greater in numbers than F-bombs in a picture by Scorsese

 

We’re petty and selfish in ways we don’ t know

Don’t blame yourself for our ignorance though

Don’t get and angry with me for saying it

It’s just a thing that we all need to change and recommit

 

Did you buy a soft drink for 1.69

Did you stop on the way home for a fast food dine

While there is food in your house and a drink

I do it to, all that money and the good with it I don’t think

 

But it’s not all about the paper and the jangling discs

It’s about the deep and the core within our midst

No matter what you give in the way of the wealth

If you don’t change your heart death won’t come from lack of health

 

Dig a little deeper way down go where you hide

Go past the hole forming in the pocket on the right side

Take a u-turn and head back upright

Then squeeze that blind heart real real tight

 

When you finally feel the pain and the ache

And the agony is way way more than you can take

That feeling is the day to day fate

For those people to the world just don’t rate

 

We enjoy or luxurious compared lives

While girls are being taken by gun and knives

We enjoy our milk shakes and our Big Macs

While kids hide in mountains waiting for another rocket attack

 

Hey–you–yeah, the one looking at porn

There are babies that will die as soon as they’re born

While you HD and stream and grip your sex addiction online

Those babies grip a finger for their only time

 

Have I been preaching during this diatribe

I don’t know, do you feel so sick like you are poisoned by cyanide

I’m just here to share what thoughts seem to flow

Don’t like it, then just tell me to blow

 

After I wrote this another blogger friend of mind commented that apparently we were in the same mind set today. Take a look at Turn it Off if You Want to by joatmon 14.

 

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Give Me a Photo Please!

Ronovan Opinion Articles , , , , , , ,

Photos of women kissing men, draped over men, attacking men in sexual ways, or basically giving to the man. It doesn’t matter what type of photo I want to find on the internet, I’m going to come across photos 95% of the time that are men centric.

 

I’m sick of it.

Screaming Man

 Give Me a Photo Please!

“Oh, Ronovan, you know you like looking at those pictures.”

 

Don’t confuse me with the men in your life and men don’t confuse me with the filth in your minds. And no, I know not all men enjoy it.

 

To be honest, give me a photo of a woman from the shoulders up with beautiful eyes and smile and I am a very happy man.

 

I wrote a poem where I simply wanted an image where it was the man passionately kissing the woman. I wanted clothing on, and it being a deep romantic kiss. Romance and passion apparently mean naked and the woman doing the kissing of anything and everything.

 

I also wrote a poem where the man was being sensual to the woman. How many photos out of thousands do you think I found where the man was doing the sensualizing?

 

And man doesn’t kiss the woman passionately or romantically. I had to settle for a picture that was almost close. Nothing was close.

 

This goes along with a lot of how I see society today, man centric. Okay, so here is my take on the way it should be. Now hold onto your hats, seats or what your Momma gave you, because some of you won’t like it.

 

I’m about to go Amen on you.

 

God looked around after Adam named the animals. Remember that? Not a companion could be found for old Adam, well young Adam I suppose. So what did God do? God created woman.

 

Now here is my take on that creation. In the Bible you have to read around and see a few things to realize how beautiful the Garden in Eden was. God then created something that man would find more amazing and more beautiful and more desirable than anything else on earth. Yep, woman.

 

Some of you that read my various writings know my opinions about women. Now maybe you can understand it on another level. I admire women. I admire their beauty and their intellect. I especially admire those women with strength. If they have all three, a truly rare combination, The Triple Threat, I become speechless and am in awe.

 

 

AwwwwAww

 

 

No, awe! Grrr, anyway, now it doesn’t matter if I put in coffee cup I am going to find an image pop up that’s of a woman with the coffee cup, hopefully, placed in a strategic location. Trust me men, I love the female form as much as, if not more than the next guy, but I don’t like exploitation. Even in the photos I use I darken them and crop them to attempt an avoidance of such an act on my part.

 

No wonder the young girls, teens, twenties on up of the females have an image problem. And no wonder the same aged on the male side are turning into pigs and dogs at a younger and younger age.

 

Rant over.

 

Much Respect

Ronovan

 

© Copyright-All rights reserved-RonovanWrites.wordpress.com.

How I wrote a Poem or How it wrote me.

Ronovan Writing , , , , , , , , , , ,

How I wrote a Poem

by: Ronovan

 

Poetry comes from anywhere and everywhere. Not very helpful sounding is it? Let’s say you are eating cereal one morning at the breakfast table and you hear a clink in the kitchen of glasses. The sound triggers a memory, you are drawn back into childhood. A feeling comes over you of the spoon growing larger as you shrink back into childhood and become seven years old again.

 

Cold milk with floating OsWigged man reading poem

Clinking glasses in the sink

Shrinking tiny fingers

Pulling mind back to think

Oh those yesteryears

So simple way back when

They bring a smile to my face

Every now and then

 

Admittedly that’s not my best work, but as quickly as I am writing this piece today I am creating it without stopping and just letting the thoughts flow. I did not have an idea for the cereal or anything when I started typing this article. I might would go back and tweak this a bit to be better but for now I wanted you to see what can inspire a poem. And words don’t have to be beautiful stand alone words, or rhyme. By that I mean these poetically sounding words. They can just be ordinary words, which are what most of my work is.

 

Ordinary words touch everyone. You can understand one of my pieces instantly. That’s not to say mine are better than another persons, I just want you to know that just because you don’t think with those words doesn’t mean you cannot write poetry. You can write a poem in everyday words, and then look up synonyms and have fun with it.

 

Now I want to go into a recent poem I wrote and how it came about to show you the process. I dislike calling it a process because I really don’t have one. I think instead I will call it the creation of the poem. Even in my writing of this article I just let the words flow and go with it. Instead of correcting the use of ‘process’ I explained it and then created a new way of expressing my work. This is how poetry works as well.

 

The poem is Truth in a Picture. I needed a pick me up piece to do. I wanted to write something happy and full of life. For this I usually go to photos, sometimes of friends online but sometimes just wandering about the web. I wandered. I looked up some art paintings and happy did not happy.

 

This painting did.

gettyimages © Original Photo by nikkivanoostende.com
gettyimages © Original Photo by nikkivanoostende.com

 

The colors caught my eye, then sadness. There’s no doubt the woman is beautiful, but then you see more.

 

After the glimpse of color I saw the eyes and how they looked vacant and broken. It reminded me of pictures I have seen of female friends where the smile doesn’t reach the eyes.

 

That’s when the poem began, or perhaps it began as soon as I saw the eyes.

 

Thoughts came to me of what if I were the woman and knew what a man was thinking as he saw me looking beautiful but inside I didn’t even care because I knew the truth.

 

What if I knew why I looked the way I did? What if I knew this was my mask, my disguise?

 

Happy didn’t happen.

 

I’m not a long form poem writer very often, not that this is a long poem at all. I usually get my thoughts out as efficiently as they come to me. I looked at the painting and then closed my eyes and typed. I remembered the eyes, the nose and the lips. I thought of how makeup and lipstick are paints of disguise. I thought of how the paint attracts attention to disguise the harm caused by attention. I imagined her thoughts at each of his thoughts.

 

I then thought of the flip side of that and what the woman was underneath the pain and what the paint covered up. I altered the picture to show what was underneath.

Featured Image -- 2260

Sleep circles and bruises. The colorlessness a woman feels . . . the lifelessness. I took each of the previous thoughts and made them the truth from her side.

 

The reaction to the poem has been encouraging in the honesty of it. I was asked how do I know what women think. My replies never really captured my thoughts. I don’t know that I do know what women think, I just know how I feel about something and then I put it into words. Somehow in this piece I contained an anger until after I was finished. The anger would have turned it into a much different piece. I’m not sure I could have written that piece.

 

I tend to tell a story in my poems, be it my autobiography or some societal thing that plagues my mind. I do try to have fun with it at times, but that is rare. Write what comes out of your fingertips. Let your mind take over, let your heart set the tempo, and get out of the way.

 

Much Respect

Ronovan

 Copyright-All rights reserved-©RonovanWrites.wordpress.com-June 30, 2014.

Truth in a Picture

Ronovan Poetry , , , , , , , , ,

This has been linked to so I’ve reblogged it for today. It’s a bit of a truth of the women’s side of an issues. Please read, you don’t have to click like, but at least read and get a perspective.
Much Respect
Ronovan

Ronovan's avatarronovanwrites

Truth in a Picture

by: Ronovan

You call me beautiful with your glance.

I get that a lot.gettyimages © Original Photo by nikkivanoostende.com

You like my eyes with their vacant stare

I don’t see you.

You see sexy in them, don’t you?

I see through you.

You say I have the perfect little nose.

I breathe, just.

You want to kiss my full red lips.

They sigh, barely.

I despise being an image for men to want.

nikkivanoostende - CopyYou want me.

My eyes are vacant from being broken.

You don’t see.

I feel dirty and used and pained by him.

You see sexy.

I barely breathe when he hurts me.

You love my nose.

My lips bleed without a scream.

You want them.

Image Credit: gettyimages © Original Photo by nikkivanoostende.com

Copyright-All rights reserved-©RonovanWrites.wordpress.com-June 28, 2014.

View original post

He said she said….

Ronovan Humor, Reblogs , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Nishi is really expanding on her writing and blogging style. That ‘My Best Friend’ about broke my heart, and now she nails the man woman relationship in the technological age.
You have to check it out and let her know how great she’s doing. 🙂 Although I don’t need any further writing competition around here. Never mind!

Nishi's avatarThe Showcase

ncEEbbacA.jpeg (500×359)

“Hey, what are you doing?” he asked

“Cooking” she said

“Are you watching that show on your iPad?”

“Hmm.. yes” she said

“Why cant you just do one thing at a time?”

“Because I CAN do both” she said

“Whatever” he said dismissively

“What are you doing?” she asked

“Working” he said

“And your headphones?”she asked

“What about them?

“They’re in your ear”

“Im listening to music” he said

“Let me see… and Facebooks open..”she said peering into the laptop screen

“Yea, so?”

“I rest my case”

Word of Warning: Never text and drive.

View original post

Save my country, please!

Ronovan Reblogs , , , , , , ,

Everyone, this is what I mean by following for inspiration and following for learning. I just learned so much in this one article from a real person that my entire view of Pakistan has been changed or at least been altered to think more of the people there than the negativity we always see. Read this!

Free The Nipple? Hmm…

Ronovan Opinion Articles , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Free The Nipple? Hmm…

by: Ronovan

 

There is a movement to free the nipple everywhere in the US? Dude, aight!

 Bug Eyed Man in Color

You would think that men would be jumping through hoops for this one. It’s already okay in New York, I mean anyone can walk around topless…legally. So what’s the big deal? Why is there so much flack about it? I mean really, everyone’s got them. Well maybe some people don’t. There is probably some DNA thing that happens or something. Okay not getting sidetracked into a book idea here.

 

I have to admit when I first heard of this idea I really had no idea what I thought about it. Miley Cyrus was the first one I think may have made a big deal about it that crossed the radar for me. But in all honesty I think she just does things to be in the public eye.

 

She’s very talented but is just trying to break that Hannah Montana thing a bit too hard. I saw some award show of her and Robin Thicke and the girl needs a few cheeseburgers and an idea of little kids are watching her perform. I know maybe that’s the parent’s fault but when it’s a televised award show then kids are going to be watching.

 

Now back to the program. Free the Nipple.

 

Here go my opinions on what people’s opinions are:

1)      Some women don’t want it because it would make them feel uncomfortable

2)      Some men don’t want it because they would feel like pervs

3)      Some women want it because they really do want equality

4)      Some men want it for the same reason

5)      Some men want it because…well they’re men

6)      Some men and women don’t want it because it’s just not what is the normal they’ve grown up with

 

Scout Willis recently walked around New York City topless, legally, to show how Instagram is basically full of it and full of censorship over something legal that’s actually legal to do. Okay so there is the issue of crossing various state and national lines, I get that when you are dealing with the internet. Scout’s reasons were legit, I have to give her credit for that and for just going for it.

 

Now here is my take on the whole thing:

 

We were meant to be naked when we were created and then we went and screwed that up. When I get to Heaven I’m going to have a sit down with Adam about that whole Eve and the fruit thing…seriously.

 

The reason women can’t walk around topless is because men ARE pervs. Okay so it’s also been a tradition for thousands of years to be clothed. I get that, but men ARE pervs about these things. No, no I know not all men are but a vast majority are…deep down in there…hearts.

 

A woman of reasonable attractiveness walks by topless and a man is going to wreck a car or slip on his drool. He’s basically going to be an idiot. Would I be like that? I want to say no. But no one knows what they would do about something until faced with it…for the most part.

 

Would I look? Of course there would be that first notice of…”Whoa that is so not really real, right?” going on. Then I would probably stare at the ground or stop and look in another direction. Why? Because I don’t want to be one of those guys.

Barney Fife

Of course some men would be like “Well if she didn’t want us to look then she should cover ‘em up.” Umm…that’s like saying women shouldn’t notice you have a toupee askew just because you chose to be vain. Yes, more crude things came to mind, but I’m just not THAT man to say those things.

 

Now here is something I am wondering about; would topless women desensitize men to the sexual aspect of that part of the woman? After a certain amount of time society would grow accustomed to topless women and it wouldn’t be a thing. In a way it might be good in that it makes boys grow up not thinking of women’s breasts as sexual objects.

 

Maybe this is sort of like the bathing suits of old. They went from those full one piece head to toe things for both men and women basically down to more revealing and now dental floss and breath mints. People will thus argue what is the next thing, full nudity?

 

I pray not. I really don’t want to go into a restaurant and see all of everybody hanging out. And there would be the whole Niles Crane from Frasier thing going on with the wiping down everything we ever touched. Talk about some possible sanitary issues. Big EWWW.

Niles Crane

Sorry ladies, but I like a bit of mystery. I’m not for the FTN thing. Am I being sexist? I’m not sure, but I think there are some things that are meant for certain people only. I don’t think men should be allowed to go around shirtless either, but then that may be because I would never be able to do it.

 

I don’t think men should be allowed to use the ladies room anywhere. Am I being sexist or against alternative life styles or choices? Nope.

 

I don’t think Gorillas should be allowed to swim in the shark tanks at a zoo just because they want to. Am I being anti Gorilla? Nope.

 

I don’t think women should be allowed to go into a men’s locker rooms. Sexist? Nope.

 

Maybe I’m a bit old fashioned or just a bit more of a prude when it comes to some things. I understand when statements are being made. If a law is a law then okay. But until then…I’ll keep my shirt on if you’ll keep yours on. Trust me…you don’t want to see all this happenin’.

 

And I know that women who breast feed have to do it. So it’s not that issue I am speaking of.

 

In closing I want to mention a comedian named Ron White. He has a joke where he talks about seeing a woman naked. He basically says that once you’ve seen one naked you pretty much want to see all of them naked. I have to say…NOPE!

 

Much Respect and Much Paleness

RonovanWrites

 

© Copyright-All rights reserved-RonovanWrites.wordpress.com-June 14, 2014.

I’m Not THAT Man

Ronovan Opinion Articles , , , , , , , , , ,

I’m Not THAT Man

by: Ronovan

 

“So you say I’m pretty? I am not interested in you, so give up.”

 

How many of you men out there have heard anything like that? No, keep your hands up. I’ll get to you eventually. Oh, never mind. I’ll just say a lot of you said yes. Pardon how I ask this, but doesn’t that just chap your cheese and grate your hide? And yes…that is how I say it.

 

I have a confession to make. I have a habit.

 

Yes, it’s true. I….I…I pay compliments.What Balloon

 

The weight is lifted and I can breathe again. Ah, that feels so good.

 

When I compliment it’s normally about someone’s talent but occasionally it may be about someone’s hair or dress. I am even sometimes amazed at the way someone’s skin looks. Maybe it’s because I have fair skin and cannot tan that I find those who can amazing. But I get judged because of other people who have complimented in the past with other intentions.

 

And it’s not just women that will judge. Even men think you are up to something if you pay compliments to a woman.

 

Why?

 

I believe it is one of three reasons;Cartoon Whistling at Woman

1)      That’s the reason THEY pay a woman compliments

2)      In their experience that’s the ONLY reason men have paid compliments before

3)      Media/Entertainment PORTRAYS it that way

 

Don’t worry, I’m not saying that this judgment hasn’t been brought on by legitimate actions of men over the course of existence but I don’t like it.

 

Yes, I said it. I DON’T like it.

 

Young Woman after Old Man's MoneyI’m not an attractive guy, so if a woman were to pay attention to me should I instantly assume she is after money?

 

“Oh, that is just so wrong of you to even think. Not all women are like that. And you need to have more confidence in yourself.”

 

Excuse me? Hello! You judge me shouldn’t I judge you? Guess what, I don’t think that way. For one thing I don’t get approached but if I did I wouldn’t even think about it. People are just people to me.

 

“Impossible!”

 

No it’s not. It’s taken years to get to this point in my life and with some odd occurrences but I am a person who just sees a person as whatever they represent. That doesn’t mean I am going to let you spend the night at my house and pet my cat. I don’t know you that well. But you haven’t done anything to me to warrant my considering you a criminal.

 

Do you know that’s what it feels like when someone thinks of you as just a hit on artist? A nice person feels dirty andEmbarrassed Tiger ashamed. And all they did was be nice. It makes them not want to try and be nice any longer.

 

I’m not saying people should be naïve. I am just saying people should take each person as they come and be “Okay, you’re fine until you screw up.” That screw up is not as in, go out with a person or trust a person in your home until they do something bad. That means you know them for a long time and see what they are like consistently before advancing any further, if that is even a possibility.

 

And don’t treat us nice guys like the last person that hurt you in a relationship.

 

I’m not THAT man.

 

I’m me.

 

 

© Copyright-All rights reserved-RonovanWrites.wordpress.com-June 09, 2014.

Jacob: Chapter 1 Part 1

Ronovan Fiction , , , , , , , , , , ,

Jacob

Jacob

by: Ronovan

Chapter 1 Part 1

Over 100 years since the last time and I’m going to miss it. There it is, just the beginning. At least I get to see that much. A lunar eclipse, a complete one, and I’ll be stuck inside having to choose between two worlds I still know nothing about.

I suppose that makes sense today. The first day I can remember had storms, but then do you really remember the first day of sunshine? But today is different. This is the last day I will get to see this view. Where does that jagged laser of lightening strike or does it even strike at all? Why am I up here at all? And most importantly where will I end up striking?

18 years of being taught two worlds and I don’t know which one to choose. Everyone else seems to know where they will land as they fall out of this sky that the Academy represents. But I don’t know. Not much longer and I will be forced to pick what the rest of my life will be ruled by, what the rest of my life’s thoughts will be ruled by.

I think therefore I am. Are we really taught to think though? We are given ‘facts’ from two philosophies without really knowing how to determine which one is correct. How do you know if something is right if you aren’t taught how to determine right from wrong? This is fact, no this is fact. Who do you believe?

From the top of the Academy tower I can see both worlds I must choose between. But neither have I been invited into to experience. How can I choose without knowing the reality of each? How do I know if either are reality? Give each the same word and they each give a different definition.

The headache magnifies. Each one has been greater than the last as this day has grown nearer. But I am not sure which pain is greater, that in my head or that in my body as I am twisted and wrenched about. How do the others make it seem so easy? I burn inside when there is nothing to fuel the fire. There is no food there to give the flames the energy to cause the burning that I feel. It has been days.

The wind hits me as the approaching storm pushes the air before it, and I can smell the dampness that will be here soon. What a perfect day to decide the rest of a life. I close my eyes and take a deep breath of the damp air.

“Jump,” a voice whispers.

 

© Copyright-All rights reserved-RonovanWrites.wordpress.com-June 08, 2014.

Media, Massacres, and Madness

Ronovan Life , , , , , ,

Media, Massacres, and Madness

by: Ronovan

 

Why do we have so many mass murders of late? Blame the media.

 

There are so many reasons given for why someone writes a note or letter, suits up movie or video game style and then finds a crowded place to unload on. Ultimately what it comes down to in my opinion is they want the attention or fame.

 

Enter the media that is happy to give it to them.

 

Do I mean that they are happy to report such events? No, but you know the ratings rise and so do those behind the scenes. Not even the most professional reporter can hide how they feel about having to report on these situations. They are as disgusted by it as we are. Yet they report it and we watch it.

 

You will have news agencies say “We must keep the public informed of the situation”. The person is in custody and has been for five hours. Nothing but news has been on for that entire time. What are you informing us of?

 

How about the media flip it?

 

Break in for five hours about something amazing someone did. Promote the positive of the world. Sure, give us a blurb about the negative, but let that be it. Give the lime light to those doing good in the world. In other words, flip it from how it is done now.

 

If people want the attention then maybe they will start doing some amazingly good things to get on the news instead of violence.

 

In the past I always received blank stares when I mentioned why not doing this or that for good. Why not make a community one that promotes good over bad. And this was in a church. Perhaps I’m just naïve about things and try and act on what I believe we should do in society. Speak only what will help build another up and let no foul word come from my mouth.

 

Sure it’s good for us to know about the bad, but not to promote it.

 

Enjoy your day by tuning out the news. Read a book, listen to your favorite music, enjoy the outdoors, but whatever you do, don’t help promote the madness.

 

© Copyright-All rights reserved-RonovanWrites.wordpress.com-June 07, 2014.

Men, Supersize Me, and Pornography.

Ronovan Life , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

A recent conversation and the #YesAllWomen response to Elliot Rodger’s deranged murders began me to thinking a bit.

Notebooks are a great source for inspiration. You write down important thoughts that you don’t want to forget, such as a conversation I had about the subject of men finding women from other countries more attractive than the women of their own country. Or more specifically it was that they were fascinated by them. Just to clarify, the conversation was with a woman. Twitter can bring things to your attention you try to avoid, like the Elliot Rodger insanity.

Men like to say that it’s the individual person that matters and we look for;
• the intellect over the eye candy
• the heart over the hairstyle
• the soul over the sexy
• the tenderness over the–you can fill that one in

But is that really true?

The conversation led me to wondering what men looked for most on the internet about women, such as the nationality or what the internet calls race. (An aside here, I prefer one race, the human one.) Do men in the United States prefer one ‘race’ of woman over another? Do they prefer traditionally Asian women, African women, Egyptian women, French women, or Indian women?

A search will find different answers but it seems in general Asian women top most lists, followed by African/African American, and probably Latin women are a close third if not tied for second. But there is no specific research pointing to any definitive answer.

As with many ideas one has there occurs an evolution into another idea.

Where this train led was internet pornography. Don’t worry I didn’t go searching those sites. I’m no prude or hypocrite. It’s just not my thing at this stage of my life. Maybe when I was younger, but I really don’t know. You all know why. But these days I have other things to focus on or at least try to focus on.

But if we men do find intelligence and the like attractive then why in 2012 were there 40 million Americans regularly visiting pornography sites? To be honest, not all of those were men. Women also enjoy pornography. But I am speaking from the male side because,well,I am one.

Steinem Quote

Think about that quote for a moment and let it sink in. You can apply it to men and women watching videos as well. These ‘manuals and training videos’ teach SOME men and women about the wrong kind of sex or what sex isn’t. Then when the real world hits them in the face, they strike back.

I’m not saying that pornography is the cause of all the crimes against women, or even men, but I think it does dehumanize people in one’s mind and desensitize people to what is respectful or reality. I know that’s an old fashioned phrase but it shouldn’t be. People cry out for respect but when you use the words ‘be respectful’ they treat you like a joke or some alien.

Despentes Quote on Pornography

This is a quote all people need to realize. If you’ve ever seen the documentary Supersize Me you see that eating McDonald’s for every meal for an extended period of time is not good for you, a too much of a good thing scenario of sorts. Some might say pornography is such a thing but that’s an opinion.

You love McDonald’s for what it is but it’s not real. You go home and eat a real hamburger and it is the best tasting thing. It’s just right on the outside, just slightly charred with the inside still tender and moist, and you actually have to open your mouth wide to eat it. Your mouth begins to water even before the bun reaches your lips. Then that first bite makes you wonder why you ever went to McDonald’s in the first place.

In truth pornography also makes what you ARE having less than what it is. You expect the almost impossible. You expect what people are being paid to do or are intentionally performing for viewing.

Pornography is a temporary fix. For some it may even be an emotional fix. But it’s a fake fix, a placebo. You took a sugar pill to cure a disease. It gives you a buzz, a momentary high, but minutes later you crash and feel as though you just wasted your life. You promise yourself you’ll never do it again, you’ll never eat another Big Mac. The next day you are in the drive-thru because the fix is intentionally created to be addicting.

What’s the solution?

Pornography can be an addiction which is a habit. Break the habit with another habit. If you feel porn calling, go outside and walk, or start writing. You find that email in your inbox? Unsubscribe, block it, do whatever it takes to stop it from being delivered. You find yourself typing that site address? Well, that one is on you my friend. But you can set your filters to stop sites from being accessed.

This article started as one about why men thought women from other countries were more fascinating but it ended up elsewhere. I guess the fascination is like going on vacation. Do you want to stay home for that week, or do you want to go away for a week? You want to be home but you enjoy the scenery of the vacation.

As for the pornography, what suggestions do you have to help people who really struggle with this? Keep in mind this is an addiction for some, a real illness. It’s like smoking, binge eating, drinking and any drug you become addicted to. It induces a release of those endorphins to make your mind temporarily happy. So sincerely think about it and leave a thought or suggestion.

In conclusion I would like to say that anything that demeans another person isn’t right. We’re meant to lift each other up in positive ways. Even though I see pornography as an addiction, an illness, I don’t condone any of it. It’s kind of like an episode of Happy Days from years ago when one of the characters named Potsie, an innocent teen, sees a centerfold and says something like “I bet that would look great in a sweater.” Potsie got it right.

One last quote.

Haide on Pornography

© Copyright-All rights reserved-RonovanWrites.wordpress.com-June 07, 2014.