Sometimes you want to say it but you can’t. You just don’t have the courage. You’re embarrassed. Then a song comes along that does it for you.
When a Song Comes Along
by: Ronovan
All my Friends here that wander by know I love music. I cannot listen to it often, if at all, but there are still those songs of long ago that I will see a lyric or it will slip into my mind as I write a word and it comes back to me. There are even songs from more recent years that have found their way to me even without my having been on the look out for them.
You may wonder how can I know they are from recent years when I have the whole memory thing going for me. I can look up a song lyric and find when the song was recorded. I do happen to play around with computers every now and then. Just saying. (I say that a lot, don’t I?)
Sometimes that melody or groove just can’t be denied. Maybe that’s the only thing you enjoy and the lyrics don’t matter. Sometimes you really do want to ignore the words or it ruins the whole experience. (JS) See what I did there? I got that acronym thing going now. Oh yeah.
But then we have those songs that . . . just can’t be denied. Yes, the melody catches us but then the lyrics keep us and carry us away to another place. And the good ones just say what you always wanted to say.
That brings me to the song.
You want to say those words to the woman in your life and the woman in your life wants you to say them. This hit record wasn’t just from luck. The man picked a song that was universal and every man and woman could listen to and get lost for several minutes. Your heart softened your eyes got a little dreamy and the corners of your lips turned up slightly as the song took you away and you just fell in love all over again. Just be sure when you hear the song come on, you pull over and stop before your eyes close as you just slip back into that dreamy land of love of . . . yes . . . you can sing it . . . your eyes, your hair, your smile . . . you’re amazing.
Poetry comes from anywhere and everywhere. Not very helpful sounding is it? Let’s say you are eating cereal one morning at the breakfast table and you hear a clink in the kitchen of glasses. The sound triggers a memory, you are drawn back into childhood. A feeling comes over you of the spoon growing larger as you shrink back into childhood and become seven years old again.
Cold milk with floating Os
Clinking glasses in the sink
Shrinking tiny fingers
Pulling mind back to think
Oh those yesteryears
So simple way back when
They bring a smile to my face
Every now and then
Admittedly that’s not my best work, but as quickly as I am writing this piece today I am creating it without stopping and just letting the thoughts flow. I did not have an idea for the cereal or anything when I started typing this article. I might would go back and tweak this a bit to be better but for now I wanted you to see what can inspire a poem. And words don’t have to be beautiful stand alone words, or rhyme. By that I mean these poetically sounding words. They can just be ordinary words, which are what most of my work is.
Ordinary words touch everyone. You can understand one of my pieces instantly. That’s not to say mine are better than another persons, I just want you to know that just because you don’t think with those words doesn’t mean you cannot write poetry. You can write a poem in everyday words, and then look up synonyms and have fun with it.
Now I want to go into a recent poem I wrote and how it came about to show you the process. I dislike calling it a process because I really don’t have one. I think instead I will call it the creation of the poem. Even in my writing of this article I just let the words flow and go with it. Instead of correcting the use of ‘process’ I explained it and then created a new way of expressing my work. This is how poetry works as well.
The poem is Truth in a Picture. I needed a pick me up piece to do. I wanted to write something happy and full of life. For this I usually go to photos, sometimes of friends online but sometimes just wandering about the web. I wandered. I looked up some art paintings and happy did not happy.
The colors caught my eye, then sadness. There’s no doubt the woman is beautiful, but then you see more.
After the glimpse of color I saw the eyes and how they looked vacant and broken. It reminded me of pictures I have seen of female friends where the smile doesn’t reach the eyes.
That’s when the poem began, or perhaps it began as soon as I saw the eyes.
Thoughts came to me of what if I were the woman and knew what a man was thinking as he saw me looking beautiful but inside I didn’t even care because I knew the truth.
What if I knew why I looked the way I did? What if I knew this was my mask, my disguise?
Happy didn’t happen.
I’m not a long form poem writer very often, not that this is a long poem at all. I usually get my thoughts out as efficiently as they come to me. I looked at the painting and then closed my eyes and typed. I remembered the eyes, the nose and the lips. I thought of how makeup and lipstick are paints of disguise. I thought of how the paint attracts attention to disguise the harm caused by attention. I imagined her thoughts at each of his thoughts.
I then thought of the flip side of that and what the woman was underneath the pain and what the paint covered up. I altered the picture to show what was underneath.
Sleep circles and bruises. The colorlessness a woman feels . . . the lifelessness. I took each of the previous thoughts and made them the truth from her side.
The reaction to the poem has been encouraging in the honesty of it. I was asked how do I know what women think. My replies never really captured my thoughts. I don’t know that I do know what women think, I just know how I feel about something and then I put it into words. Somehow in this piece I contained an anger until after I was finished. The anger would have turned it into a much different piece. I’m not sure I could have written that piece.
I tend to tell a story in my poems, be it my autobiography or some societal thing that plagues my mind. I do try to have fun with it at times, but that is rare. Write what comes out of your fingertips. Let your mind take over, let your heart set the tempo, and get out of the way.
So men, she wants you snipped. You are thinking, “Uh uh”. Short of divorce or breaking up with said female desiring the snippage what are you going to do?
I came up with 10 things that will help. Some may only work if married because a wife by the point where a vasectomy is an issue is probably at the point of ‘whatever’ when it comes to things you do. Any ladies reading this know what I mean. (Men if your wife or girlfriend ‘likes’ this article, email me for other ideas.)
Some of these are just ways not to have sex and others are ways to make things stop before that “Gorilla Grunt” thing men do. Either way you don’t want to end up with the babies.
#10
Whoopi Goldberg Naked
I know it sounds desperate but in all honesty that’ll withdraw the cannons and the . . . umm . . . ammunition very quickly. There is a drawback to this method. Don’t use it too often or every time you start having sex you will start thinking about Whoopi Goldberg and eventually throw Ted Danson in there too. You’ll be impotent for the rest of your life. (Admittedly, in her early career Whoopi had it going on. Just saying.)
#9
Not ignoring the back pain
This is simple and real one. For years you’ve fought through the pain because, well you know why. But now you have no choice but to admit the weakness. Again, don’t use this too often or you end up at the doctor’s office and going through MRIs and therapy sessions.
This is the easiest for men to do. It’s a natural part of us not to want to bath. If not bathing is not something you want to go through, don’t use the deodorant. After one whiff of you she’ll never want another hamburger from McDonald’s again.
#7
Remember
If you have children just remember how many sleepless nights you had and how many times you let that baby barf on you instead of spinning it around to face a room just so it wouldn’t get upset and the carpet didn’t have to be cleaned. What? Am I the only one that did that? There is no experience like the feel of barf on the neck and eyebrows. But the boy didn’t get very upset and he appreciates it now. (Note: This is one way the woman will get you to shower to overcome #8.)
#6
Bringing out the Handcuffs and the Vaseline
Now for some this might actually backfire, so be careful. If you aren’t really certain then don’t do it. You decide which way would gross her out more; smearing on your own pale paste body or asking her to smear it on herself while you watch. The handcuffs are the scare tactic part to push her over the edge. Understand the downside of this though, she’s going to wonder one of two things; 1) you’ve been watching porn movies or 2) you have lost your freaking mind.
Now we enter the Desperate Zone.
Men, only do this if you are willing to live with the results. I will not be held responsible for any attorney’s fees, medical expenses or anything else that comes from these ideas. If explanations are really needed for each of these ideas then you may require some professional help. Just go ahead and have the Vasectomy along with the Psych Ward admittance. Two for one deals are popular even in hospitals these days.
#5
Telling Her Anything is Women’s Work
All men know what this does to a woman. If you don’t then you are a pig and jerk. (Sorry for diverting from the humor.)
#4
Insulting her mother
Even if she doesn’t like her mother, always remember only she can insult her while you nod for support. You cannot start the insulting . . . unless it’s for very desperate reasons.
#3
Discussing your Playboy subscription during Sunday School class at church or in front of any of her friends
She may not even care that you have a subscription, but she doesn’t want everyone to know it. It makes her feel like either a) there is something wrong with her, or b) like you’re a complete jerk. We all know which one is true.
#2
Talking about how hot her sister/cousin/best friend/or if your girlfriend her daughter is
Yeah . . . I think the picture speaks for itself on this one.
#1
Calling her an ex-girlfriend’s name
Unless you decide to always date women with the same name, you may end up slipping on this one anyway. But the use of this when the lights go out will result in instant celibacy.
I doubt there are any of my Friends reading this that would actually need to use any of these, but I hop you were entertained. And those ladies that may have actually read, men wouldn’t really do this . . . you think?
The Daily Post Postaday asked what taste would I give up. That’s easy.
I would give up the taste of Blah. I wouldn’t want to taste Blah any longer. You put that spoonful of something in your mouth and . . . Blah happens. Food is an experience to me. Satisfy the taste buds and you satisfy the human.
Taste a truly delicious home grilled steak, or stuffed squash blossoms, then go to McDonald’s. Blah happens. Oh you think it was good before, but then you realize it is all disguised pink mush Blah. Give me spice, give me life, give me truth. Do not give me MSG and fakery.
Plastic Rings and Latex Things & The Side Effects of Therapy
by: Ronovan
Hello to my Faithful and perhaps some infrequent Flyby Friends of the Lost Mind. We are gathered here today to discuss . . . Therapy!
No, don’t run, don’t hide, and do not DENY!
I see you with your Krispy Kreme donuts. That . . . is NOT . . . therapy. Or is it?
Therapy is defined as ‘treatment especially of bodily, mental, or behavioral disorder’.
Oh my. Look around my little site and you will find much disorder, won’t you? I keep meaning to organize things but cannot seem to remember to do so. I would winky smiley face but I don’t have the strength. My right index finger is sprained. I may have to use the naughty middle finger instead. Perhaps I need a Krispy Kreme. For my Friends of Foreign firmas that are terra, that IS how the company actually spells the words. Don’t hate the spelling, eat the cake . . . the donut or doughnut if you want to really drag it out—whatever just eat the freaking pastry!
Do you take headache medicines? Did you know there are side effects? Do you ever read them?
“This may cause rash, itching/swelling (especially of the face/tongue/throat), severe dizziness, trouble breathing.”
And that’s just for Tylenol, and not even all of the possible ones.
I have to take medicines for my Fibromyalgia and my Migraines. Yes, I capitalize the M because they have earned it. If I don’t do so they then remind and demand it. But these medicines say they may cause pain in the joints or muscles and cause Migraines. Oh and of course possible death. Perhaps that is just their covering themselves from any oopsies.
So where am I going with all of this?
There are controversial therapies for treating all sorts of things. To relieve migraines and other such head ailments they once drilled holes in the skull. Of course then there was using leeches for those who were anemic.
(My apologies but I just could not bring myself to show the leeches. I am freaking out thinking about it.)
Now there is a balloon therapy for releasing your worries, pains, and hurts caused by either other people or just life in general. I learned about this on my friend Amanda’s site, Inside the Life of Moi, a wonderfully entertaining and tasty fare you really must partake of. Nom nom nom.
(Please remind me never to type ‘nom nom nom’ ever again for the rest of my days. Thank you.)
On this particular occasion Amanda became more serious than usual and shared a personal experience where she tried the balloon releasing suggested by a friend. This was after she resisted stabbing the innocent pain bombs as they floated around her. You really need to read the article. I may be explaining it incorrectly. I just know there were balloons and possible stabbings involved. Is it possible to band aid a balloon?
Upon reblogging said article I received replies about what the releasing balloons does to wildlife and the environment. Of course neither Amanda nor I would ever wish for any living creature to be harmed in any way. Amanda was merely saying people needed to let go of what ails them in order to heal. If she had for a moment thought an article such as hers would cause her intelligent readers to storm the stores for balloons and helium tanks to harm the planet, she would not have published said article.
Thus we come to a side effect of the balloon therapy, wildlife endangerment. There are plenty of sites that will give you all the details, but just know that latex isn’t good for wildlife. Choking of course is one side effect.
It reminds me slightly of the movie Happy Feet when the penguin voiced by Robin Williams has the six-pack plastic ring holder caught around his neck and then he ends up almost choking to death because of it. For a cartoon where you knew there was no harm you may have laughed. I didn’t laugh, but I have become or have always been a bit sensitive about certain things in film.
In real life the penguin would have died. Is that a pretty picture to you? Funny?
“Ronovan, oh Ronovan,” I can almost hear some of you say. “Why are you writing all of this drivel and randomness?”
Therapy. I was hurt by the response and a feeling of being attacked. These hurts were the side effects of being nice.
“So don’t do it again.”
Oh but I will, and you know I will. But as Amanda suggested, I’m letting go. I’m putting my hurts and pains down in words, placing them in the blogosphere, and letting them go. What will be the side effects of that?
I’ve been Reblogging some of Amanda’s best articles while she’s been on vacation. Best to me from her means funny. One thing about funny people is that they are funny because they are really also sensitive and deep people. I TRY to be funny, but fall flat most of the time.
This is an article that shows Amanda is more than a punch line or laugh track. This great advice. I’m serious. You really do need to read this one.
Men, we think we have them snowed. You know all of our little ways of doing things, but we don’t. Nope. Women know. They know when you’re walking through the store and you shake that leg trying to get a muscle cramp out that you’re either a) trying to get the underwear back in place, or b) trying to get some other things in place.
Don’t yell men. I’m not giving away trade secrets. I haven’t given out the secret handshake yet.
But men, it’s time to give up the delusions.
Here are 5 things women know we’re doing:
#1
You’re not scratching your nose or rubbing your nose. No matter how fast you do it they see the thumb slip inside that nostril. They know.
#2
They know you aren’t behind a car with some faulty exhaust system when the smell hits after Taco Bell. Next time just the Tacos and not the additional Nachos Belle Grande.
#3
You don’t check for your wallet that many times. They know you’re scratching your butt.
#4
They know you are going to check out the waitress. You know you are going to check out the waitress. DON’T check out the waitress. And yes that means the other waitress a few booths behind the woman you are with that you are checking out while you pretend to be thinking about a question your lady asked you. We’re not that deep.
#5
They know what the word ‘fine’ means. They know it doesn’t mean yes. It means the same as ‘whatever’. In other words they know that you don’t want to do whatever it is but you are agreeing to it just so they will stop talking about it.
Life could be so much simpler, guys. I don’t really know how, but it could. Yes, the nose hair causes things to itch. Trim it. Tacos? Take something ahead of time or eat less than some small states. Butt itch? Use some powder or lotion. Waitress checking? Stare at the table or your woman. The word ‘fine’? Well there’s no solution to that one. No matter what we come up with they’ll just know.
Until next time, peace out and don’t pretend to stretch so you can smell if you forgot deodorant . . . or need it.
Unsung Hero: The Stay at Home (And Single) Mom by: Ronovan
I read an article by my friend Barbie over at B’s Words called Stay at Home Loser. Just when you get caught up in your own world of problems someone smacks you in the face with a world of more of them, and really some that are worse.
Sure I have problems of misconceptions about my health, but Barbie’s article just really brought a subject to mind that just . . . well . . . wow.
I’m going to focus on the Stay at Home Mom here, although this could apply to Stay at Home Dads too. And I don’t intend to take much time as I want you to go read Barbie’s article and get raw honesty on the subject.
What do I see the Stay at Home Mom as being:
• Character builder
• Manners teacher
• Respect teacher
• Human teacher
• Kindness teacher
• Love teacher
• Equality teacher
• Sharing teacher
• Reading teacher
• Writing teacher
• Responsibility teacher
• Safety teacher
• Relationship teacher
• Smile builder
• Laughter builder
• Face making teacher
• Walking teacher
• Riding bike teacher
• Look ways before you cross teacher
• Hold my hand teacher
• It’s okay to be you teacher
• How to forgive teacher
• It’s okay to make mistakes teacher
• Clean up your mess teacher
• How to make a sandwich teacher
• Singing teacher
• Psychiatrist
• TV and media specialist/monitor
• How to hug teacher
• Dietician
There are a lot more things that a Stay at Home Mom is but there are just the ones that quickly came to mind aside from the cleaning things they go through, (Not wanting to think of laundry, dishes, or diapers, thank you very much). I don’t see Loser on the list. These are just my view from the outside.
Please share what some of your definitions of a Stay at Home Mom. But before you answer, go read Barbie’s article and maybe leave your definition there instead. She inspired this article, give her the great words back.
Amanda had a Pimple? On a Wedding Day? Say it isn’t so. Even more surprising were her disastrous solutions. Is an Egyptian Mummy wrap the solution? Read and find out. 🙂
@AmandaLyle86
Oh . . . you linked to this other great site for us? Thank you so much. Now I will read things on their page and since this one opened up in the place of your page I will completely forget about returning to read the rest of your article. Have a nice day! Love, your faithfulest follower ever. xox smiley smiley winky winky
There are two thoughts on the idea of how to do links. To have them open up in the current window or in a new one. This will show you how to do it in a new window. This also shows you how to create what is called a Ping Back.
But WHY is it sooooo IMPORTANT to some to have links open in other tabs or windows?!
I think you can agree that your blog is the most important blog to you. Sure you LOVE other blogs but you put a lot of time into yours and you want people to at least finish you article before they totally lose interest in you and go off wandering the world of other blogs.
Linking to other blogs in your articles is a GREAT thing to do, especially if they are legit, honest, relevant links. I’ve begun to do it more often lately as I’ve found articles out there that inspire me to write on certain subjects or that just fit what I am writing. I have even went back in and edited an article to link back to another article I found.
But some bloggers want to make sure that when the reader clicks on the link that it opens in a new window.
They want their article to remain there present for them to see and remember. Not something they have to remember to click the back arrow to get to.
What if you have important information later in your article, or a link to something YOU have?
If you don’t know how to link back to a page here are the ‘How To’ instructions. If you do know how, here are the instructions anyway and a reminder of where the box to check for opening in a new window is.
You are in your Posts section of the Dashboard on WordPress (Other Blogging Platforms will be different, but it should all be similar in nature.) and you are wanting to link an article.
Step One
You need to highlight the words you want the reader to click on in order to open the link. The words can be anything. Notice in a lot of articles you read it says click here to do something. Well the URL does not say ‘here’. They are doing what you are doing now by going through these steps.
Once you’ve highlighted the words you then go to . . .
Step Two
Click the icon that to me sort of looks like a weird paperclip. It’s circled in red above.
Step Three
Here you paste the URL in from the article or Blog you want to link to in the ‘URL’ field.
Then you click the box next to ‘Open link in a new window tab’.
Finally click ‘Add Link’ in the bottom right corner of the box.
Now when anyone clicks the link in your article a new window will show up to read that article in while leaving your article available to them to read.
You do the same thing when adding a link. an URL to an image. Click the image and then the paper clip link thing. Exact same process.
WARNING!
If you Reblog and the person is just reading in the Reader window the links don’t go to a new window it seems. But if they click on View Original then they work fine.
Women have it so difficult shaving. Puhleeeasseeee.
Actually that was just to get your attention. But you know men don’t have it easy in the shaving area either.
I read an article recently over at my new found friend’s site A College Girl’s Confessions called Why Shaving Sucks. Always reading about the dire straits of the beauty lives of women got me to thinking that we men have it tough as well. (Don’t ask me why I read about the beauty lives of women. I Follow for Inspiration, right? Right.)
I honestly think that the idea of men shaving was something women came up with. What sane man would voluntarily think “Hey, let me put a razor blade to my throat and see if I sneeze.”? And there is no way I would actually let an old fashioned barber do it either. I don’t trust myself with one of those mafia movie killing things so I definitely won’t trust anyone else. Look at that thing.
And a woman with a blade? Umm . . . really? No way, especially not after that above article and the contortions and things. I have no desire for my important man parts to go missing. I like my nose where it is, thank you very much.
Here are 5 Thoughts on Facial Follicles & Shaving Torture
First thing, why is it women can comment on our facial hair and their disapproval of it but if we men mention theirs we are insensitive and sleeping on the edge of the bed for the next week? That’s if we’re lucky to still be in the bed. And yes, we know women stop shaving their legs sometimes out of revenge for something we men have done. Here’s a secret ladies, we don’t care that much . . . well not at the point we would notice anyway. I mean seriously, at that point an asteroid hits the earth and we don’t care.
You nicked your legs shaving: I nick my face and I can’t put a band aid on my face and get away with it. People would be asking me if I had some type of biopsy or something. (Yes I had that done once. I’m good now.)
Shaving cream up the nose: Do I really have to explain the awfulness of alcohol and whatever else is in that stuff going up the nasal passages feels like and how irritating it feels for days afterwards? I guess I just did.
You miss a spot shaving the legs? Think about missing a spot on your face where everyone is looking. Which one do you think they’ll notice in an interview? Yes, I am sure there are some that would notice your legs, I know, I know, but we’re talking about the other 5% of the polite people conducting interviews.
Oh, and don’t get me started on the ear hair issue. Okay, God, I know why you gave us all the various hair that we have, but seriously, why the extra Sasquatch growth of ear hair for men? I start in September leaving it alone and don’t need earmuffs by winter. Men if that hasn’t become an issue for you YET then take a tip from my article 10 Things Every Writer Needs But Never Thinks About and invest in Nair now. Oh, and someone call them about Nose Nair, I swear it is sooo needed.
Ladies, yes, I know you have it tough shaving, and believe me when I say at least this man appreciates all you go through, but appreciate what we go through as well. Nose hair, ear hair, facial hair, neck hair, between the eyebrows hair . . . What? Am I the only one that shaves that?
Amanda at Inside The Life of Moi rants better than anyone I know. Why? Because there is truth in her humorous rants. I ran across this one just now and I am still cringing and laughing from the awful truth of it.
@AmandaLyle86
1) When writing an article and you put in images/media make sure to click Preview on the right of the screen before publishing. Sometime what you see in your editing window is not what you will see in the finished article. Do this even for articles without media, just in case.
2) If you put links in your article/post make sure to click the “Open link in a new window/tab” when you go to insert the link. You don’t want people to leave your own article even if it’s just to go to another one of your articles.
Oh Lord, please don’t tell Amanda I reblogged this one. She tells it like it is about her ummm “Monster”-in-law, her words not mine. I bet some of us can relate. @AmandaLyle86
I had no idea this is how texting worked. It makes you wonder how Amanda knows all of this, doesn’t it? 🙂 I can only imagine poor girl. Muahahahahahaa. She’s going to kill me when she gets back. Follower her on Twitter and surprise her with lots of new people.@AmandaLyle86
I just knew by the name of this one that Amanda had something to say. When does she not, right? She really goes off this time. At least there’s a Happy Meal included. Just saying. Click it and read it. She’s on vacation so check out her stories and follower her here and on Twitter as a surprise when she gets back. @AmandaLyle86 She hasn’t been on Twitter long but is really getting into it.
hair that we have, but seriously, why the extra Sasquatch growth of ear hair for men? I start in September leaving it alone and don’t need earmuffs by winter. Men if that hasn’t become an issue for you YET then take a tip from my article 
ronovanwrites 